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Just as a forewarning, this is going to be long. I write a lot. If that's a problem, stop reading right now.
I've been with my guy for nearly two years, and we're planning to get married after college.
His parents love me, his mom treats me like her daughter, I call her mom and she's fine with it. My dad likes my guy, and my guy likes my dad (they have a lot in common, actually...), I have a ring on my finger, and we hardly ever fight.
The only problem is my mother...My whole life I've always craved my mother's approval. For awhile, she was almost my idol. I admired her...but I find myself trying to ignore her now. All she does is criticize things my boyfriend does and point out all the negative things she possibly can when she knows I love him and he's proven to her several times that he loves me and truly cares for me.
A big problem is my mother's chemical sensitivity. She's allergic to quite a bit of...well, everything, really. My family can't use anything scented because scents make her sick - they give her headaches, make her nauseated, she acts drunk...
She needs to ask people who come over to our house to wash their clothes in unscented laundry detergent, to use unscented shampoo, soap, everything.
My boyfriend's not exactly...compliant. I hate having to ask people to get unscented, especially him. Call me girly, but I like the way he smells. I can't help it. It's kind of a comforting thing. So I'm not pushing the "get unscented" issue because I don't really want it to happen. However I would like him to be able to come over every so often. He doesn't seem to understand that he can't fool my mom by standing under the shower for a few minutes and that he needs to use unscented shampoo and soap to get the smell that was there off.
He thinks my mom's crazy. It offends me a little, and I've told him that. But it bothers me more that my mother seems to be trying more than anything to get me to break up with him, though she claims she's not. She told me once "get another boyfriend who'll do what we need."
How do I get her to see that I picked him, I want to marry him, and I'm not about to leave him for some prick who only loves my body?
How do I get him to be more compliant?
How do I get my mother and my fiance to get along? I've tried talking to her and I've tried talking to him. I haven't tried having them talk to each other, though. I'm not sure how much that'd help, though...they can't go out to dinner or whatever because my mother's allergic to everything. What can I do?
Please, no smartass remarks and make an effort not to use chatspeak. It confuses me, and I'll just rate you down. Thanks in advance. =) (link)
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Maybe it's not him she dis-likes and she's just using him as an excuse maybe she's afraid once your married she wont get to spend as much time with you, maybe she just needs somtime to get used to the engagement and him and if talking to them separately wont work then you should talk to them together, and you and your fiance can just where unscented things when your visiting.
Sorry if this dosn't help,
Godd Luck!
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