Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Member Since: July 11, 2005
Answers: 126
Last Update: October 23, 2005
Visitors: 7467
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OK...
My friend has been seeing her boyfriend for just over a month now. For two weeks they didn't even hold hands, they were so shy, but all of a sudden they kissed in the cinema and suddenly they are 'so in love' and on the same day as they kissed, they went to third base.
Last week, they had sex (in the WOODS!) and my friend is pretty sure she is pregnant. However, she is sayign she is 'bored' of her boyfriend and wants to 'move on'. I'm sorry but this is so stupid!! You don't sleep with someone you're 'bored' of and never really liked in the first place!!
She also wants an abortion.
First of all, I am angry at her for the whole 'oh I'm bored with you let's shag!' thing. I am also REALLY angry with her about the abortion because I am really against abortion in about 90% of cases, this one included. She wants to kill her own baby because she thinks she'll get 'bored' with it too, and because she made a mistake. She is 'making up' for that mistake with murder.
Now, I'm her friend and I am SUPPOSED to stand by her whatever, but this puts me in a HUGE dilemma because I do not agree with what she's done and what she is planning to do (split up with her boyfriend, have an abortion, not ever tell him she got pregnant). I'm really really angry at her right now and I can't talk to her, but I know she really needs my support at a time like this. How can I push my anger aside, how can I ignore my own stance on abortion and help her?
I need to stand by her...she needs all the love and support she can get, even though she doesn't deserve it. I was very tempted to slap her and run off when I found out but I realised that it's not my place to forgive or condone or accept or hate what she is doing, just to be there for her.
Please help...how can I get over my anger and resentment at what she is doing and be there for her? And don't just say 'talk to her' - if you have to, help me out on what to say!
Thanks for any help and sorry for the length. (link)
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You can be mad all you want. You can be suportive, but you shouldn't be. She shouldn't be allowed to kill her baby because she made a mistake, you're right. Tell her that you will be there, but not during the abortion because of your beliefs. Don't change your views because you are someone's friend. YOU should tell her boyfriend she is pregnant. He deserves to know. I mean, after only 4 weeks they had sex, it's her fault. I would tell her you don't support her at the moment, but you will help her get through it. Also, if she's under 18, she has to have parent permission to get the abortion, so, good luck. I hope this all works out.
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