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lulabelle
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I just want to make clear that me and the person involved have NO blood relation. And I am still a virgin.
August of 2004 my 2nd step cousin (adam) and his cousin on the other side of the family (cal) came to visit my family for 5 months. They stayed at our house. At that time I was 13. Then in October Adam, Cal, me and my sister (19) went to the city (New York City). After that we went to dinner. I was next to cal. And then out of no where he just grabbed my hand. So we were holding hands the entire time. We ordered like 5 bottles of wine. When we got up to leave we all felt tipsy at the same time. So we were walking back to the train station and in the middle of no where Cal tries to kiss me and we were walkin behind my sister and Adam so he pushes me agains a building and leans on me and kisses me. But I pushed him off. I did want to kiss him but for some reason I was scared too. He kept trying to kiss me the entire night. On the train on the way home he started asking me why i wouldn't kiss him. And you know how people say they are telling the truth when they are drunk.. Well he kept saying how much he liked me and other stuff. They were staying in our basement so that night me and my sister stayed with them. So I went to get drinks. Cal followed me behind and pushed me into another room and we started making out. Then I felt him get hard on me so i decided to give him a handjob. Then after that night everytime we were alone we would cuddle and kiss. We didnt tell anybody about us cause we were scared of what they would think since he was 19 and I was 13. After my birthday in Nov when I turned 14 he fingered me only once, but I have him head ... alot, and I gave him handjobs. We dryhumped like 4 times. I even gave him head in the shower. He wanted me to have sex with hime but I said no. cause I was a virgin. I knew that this "relationship" wouldnt go anywhere so I didnt want to lose it to him. And I knew that I would end up getting hurt but I still wanted to be with him. I almost got caught by my mother giving him head. So she was always suspicious of me. Then Cal and Adam left in December. Now I am goin to go visit him and idont know how to act. should i act like nothing happened? I'm a bit confused because I think now I am ready to lose my virginity to him but I dont know if he still has feelings for me. Now he is 20. But also for some reason after he left I have had the sudden urge to want to fuck somebody. I'm a virgin and I want to wait but damn...its hard. And I have particularly have given a liking to giving head. This wasn't really a question but I hope someone could give me advice anyways or help me. sorry its long. (link)
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It is hard to wait, but it will be worth it. Tell him this. You want to wait, so it is over between you two. And stick by it.
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