My husband has smoked for years...35 to be exact. We have been married for 30 years. He is slim, but not very healthy, I think. He almost quit just recently and I was so proud of him and told everyone that I was. He was down to about one cigarette a day. I feel like garbage when he smokes because he does it in the house, car, whatever. It makes me feel like a smoker myself. I feel that if I wanted to smoke, I would have kept it up in college, so you see, I know what it is like to be a smoker, but not what it's like to be a non-smoker, even though I don't smoke. I am sorry this sounds bitter. I am mad. Tell me what to do. I am ready to move out. We have a great marriage, but I don't want to feel crappy anymore because of someone else's vice. He refuses to go outside to smoke.

Chanon

I'm not sure if anyone on this site will be able to help you (A married woman) since a lot of us are just teens...but I'll at least give it a try.

I think you should do some research on smoking and "educate" your husband on the dangers of it all. Sometimes people do things because they just like it and don't really know the about what they're doing and what the effects will be. I'm not sure how effective that will be on your husband...but maybe it will help him see just what smoking really is doing to him and you.

Have you talked to him? Well, I know you've talked to him...but have you talked to him about you wanting to move out if he doesn't quit smoking? If you haven't, that's definitely one thing to put at the top of your list. He needs to see that you are serious about this. You say the both of you have a great marriage...is that really true? If he's trying his best to get off of smoking that's great because it shows he cares...but you say he won't go outside to smoke. That doesn't sound like he's thinking about you.

It all has to come down to a compromise. For example, he can smoke as long as he smokes outside or at least not around you. Something like that. Because although I agree with you (smoking is horrible) you married this man knowing he wasn't perfect. You can't exactly change him. Maybe you can and that's great, but chances are you probably won't win seeing he's been a smoker for a hecka long time. Which means you're going to have to compromise with him so the both of you can be okay with it, move on, and live life together.

If your love is strong the two of you should be able to get through it and still love each other. If the two of you can't handle it...it probably means the bond between you two isn't too strong. And that's okay...who wouldn't be sad about getting a divorce? It's understandble, but if things don't work out you must move on. I believe everything that happens between a couple is a TEST. We all go through many, many, many tests together. And these tests are the only way we can see if you two were really meant for each other. Don't regret anything because it all happened for a reason and you are now wiser.

Good luck with your husband.