hey everyone! i'm from france. i'm in high school. i'm alright at giving advice so if you ever need any help i'll do the best i can! i'll check this pretty often so that i can be the best advice giver i can get, peace and love
Gender: Female
Location: united states
Occupation: student
Member Since: October 9, 2004
Answers: 141
Last Update: February 1, 2006
Visitors: 6710
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This poem. Needs help. it didn't come out right. Suggestions?
I saw you tonight
For the first time in what had felt like years
Sweat dripped off your body
And I realized what I had lost
I had loved
And you had pitied
But you had forgotten
What I could not
With you standing so close
It drove me crazy
I miss you I cried
But I don’t miss your lies
I wont forget you
Even if you’ve already forgotten me
Don’t pity me
I’m fine. (link)
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hey, i think your poem is really good. it may need some help with the flow at some points, but its really great.
I saw you tonight
For the first time
Felt like years.
And I realized what I had lost
What I had loved,
And you had pitied
But you had forgotten
What I could not
With you standing so close
It drove me crazy
I miss you I cried
But I don’t miss your lies
I wont forget you
Even if you’ve already forgotten me
Don’t pity me
I’m fine.
keep writing, you got something!
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