i have blopnde hair... love girly things like hair makeup clothes *sHoPpIn* shoes.. stuff like that!! i go to a wonderful church!! and my life right now is pretty good.... i have *wOnDeRfUl* friends and a family that i love! i'm songle... but that's ok bc i could care less if i am or not.
E-mail: dixiegirl42793@nestscape.net
Gender: Female
Location: alabama
Occupation: student
AIM: dancebabetotl7
Member Since: May 10, 2005
Answers: 6
Last Update: May 10, 2005
Visitors: 1775
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29 Male
I met Mary, 20 years old, about 10 months ago. We hit off and started dating. It’s been about 7 months now. Her family life is a complete mess. Her parents divorced a little over a year ago. Now, her mom hardly returns her calls and her dad quickly got re-married and now lives about 2 1/2 hours north of her. With his new life he rarely makes time for her either.
After dating for about 4 months, she visited her doctor. Her stomach was bothering her. The doctor discovered a cyst. She had tests done and that day she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer – stage one.
She refused to have a hysterectomy and started chemotherapy. After 3 weeks of chemo, its stage 3. The doctor tells her it’s terminal. She tells her dad. He asks her not tell anyone on his side of the family. Meanwhile, he never calls her to ask how she’s doing. As far as her mom goes – she hasn’t told her yet.
Three weeks ago, Mary’s doctor said she needed to stop chemo because her organs were swelling as a result of her diabetes. At this point the cancer had stopped spreading. Last week she blew off her doctor’s appointment because she needed to work to make rent. She was scheduled to restart chemo. Mary works full-time on her feet. She smokes and has a glass of wine now and then. None of which her doctor agrees with. So as a result, the cancer has started to spread again.
Watching her suffer has taken a lot out of me. More than half the week she sleeps at my apartment. And on cue in the evening her pains skyrocket. Lying in bed she twists and shakes until she passes out. All I can do is hold her. She wakes up and the pain goes another round or two until she finally falls asleep.
I don’t agree with how she’s handling her sickness. Missing doctor appointments, smoking, and drinking. Just the other day she was planning to go to the beach with friends. I told her she’s not suppose to go in the sun while on chemo; that’s when I found out she missed her doctors appointment earlier that day.
I want to be there for her, but as a friend. I do all I can so that she feels like a beautiful woman. But I might just have to just walk away. I feel like I need to do something to get her to take this illness more seriously. I’m frustrated.
What do you think?
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tell her that she is a buitiful girl but you don't want to get to close bc if somethin happens to her you don't want to be depressed or anythin and then tell her you love her (if you do) and that you thin that it would be better if yall where friends.... have a great day... o the family thing if they dont care bout her talk to them tell them that she mite die and all they are doin is sittin around not even talkin to her and that's not how a family should act and that they dont act lie a family
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Rating: 4
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Thanks for your thoughts. I concidered talking to the family but can't help but think that's over the bounds. I'm not a counselor and sitting down with them makes me uncomfortable. I feel like they'd say, "Who the hell are you to tell us how we should treat our daughter." One additional thing, I don't know the complete back story of her and her family. I feel like there are things Mary holds back, and if that's what my gut tells me – well, I'm just gonna have to roll with it for now. It helps me sleep better at night. Thanks again. Take care.
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