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advice
I have a friend who I like very much, but who has a habbit of asking me to call her because she's feeling low at really incovenient times. I want to be there for her, but it becomes problematic when I feel I can't fairly say no when she asks me to call for a few minutes because she's feeling low, even it's like 1am. If it really was a few minutes, it would be fine, but once she has me on the phone she's impossible to let go, because every time I talk about having to be up in the morning she talks about how people always seem to let her down when she needs them. I do want to be there for her, but I do need to sleep too, and I simply can't survive on talking till 2am or later every night to get up at 7am. How can I be firm about needing to get off the phone without offending her?
It seems like she is very dependent and needs to talk very often. Don't be rude to her, but when she calls and you can't talk long here is a trick you might try. Tell her everytime she needs to let out some steam to write it in a notebook and give it to you the next day. That should give you plenty of time to be able to slip helpingyour friend out in around your own schedule. It will also leave you with a huge scrapbook of your conversations. This method will also help your friend see how much she is really talking and might make her a little more considerate. If this doesn't help try scheduling a time (like about from 8-10) that she can talk so that she'll have reassurance that if she doesn't finish one day that she can get it out the next. Hope this helps.
(Rating: 5) Very helpful. In this particular scenario, I don't get to see her daily, which I guess aggravates the problem, as we can only easily converse on the phone. Thank you.