Hey. I'm Amanda. I like giving advice about anything I can. If I think you're asking something ridiculous, I'll tell you. But, even though I think you're a moron, I'll try to give you good advice. Anywho, I'm under a lot of stress right now, and I think helping other people and realizing I'm not the only one with problems is helping some. So, please feel free to ask me for advice. I'll try to respond nicely and sarcasm free, but I wouldn't hold your breath.
Other random things, that perhaps you're wondering about:
I'm 5'8, blonde hair, green eyes. I'm usually on the high honor roll, although math sometimes prevents it. I'm a Junior. Uh..I haven't gotten my license yet, because of parallel parking. Curse it. Um, and I love Pandas. I don't eat them. It was just an inside joke last year (Pandabalism, I mean.) Alright, that's enough of this. Now..go, scamper, type. I want to read your problems and try to help you. And maybe even laugh my ass off at the same time. Har har.
Website: LiveJournal
Gender: Female
Location: Pennsylvania
Occupation: Student
Age: 16
AIM: PandazRockMySox
Member Since: November 20, 2003
Answers: 45
Last Update: March 28, 2004
Visitors: 3931
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I have been struggling with this issue for years, especially with my parents and sister. I am an adult now, married, with one child, and I still feel I'm treated as if I'm a "second-class citizen" by my immediate family and my in-laws as well. I still don't know if it's something about me that makes people treat me differently, or if it's "their problem. " Basically, I feel misunderstood and disrespected. For example, someone in my family accuses me of some doing something wrong, let's say "insulting them" and I'm 100% positive I did no such thing, or that they took something I said the wrong way, and I try to explain my side of it, but the more I try to explain, the angrier they get because they just don't seem to care about the truth and want to go on thinking "wrong" about me, and they just don't respect me enough to listen to anything I have to say. Well, that's how it feels to me. If the shoe were on the other foot, and I thought someone did something wrong to me, and they tried to explain to me that they didn't I would at least have the decency to hear them out, especially my own family. Does any of this makes sense? Basically, I feel like the rules of common courtesy apply to everyone else but me in the eyes of my family. They are constantly hurting me and half the time they don't even realise it, or if they do, they dismiss my feelings as insignificant because they think I am too sensitive. I don't think so. Why do I feel like an outsider in my own family? Why can't they respect my feelings and points of view, even if they don't agree with them. I am constantly told things like "That's enough, " "I don't care" "I don't want to hear it, " or just plain "Shut up!" Is that the way to talk to a grown adult, or anybody for that matter? Let alone someone in your own family that you are supposed to love and care about? If a stranger treated me this way, I would be ofended, but it hurts a lot more coming from someone in your own family. Is there anything that I can do to get more respect from my family? I try to stand up for myself, but they don't "let" me. They snap at me if I ever say anything in my defense or tell them they are being rude, which I don't hesitate to do. I'm fed up, and I don't want to have this tension between me and my family anymore. I almost dread family get-togethers anymore, because I'm afraid someone is going to treat me bad in front of all my other relatives, and I won't be able to truly enjoy myself because I'll be dwelling on it the whole time. Can anybody relate to this at all? I know I can't be the only one, but sometimes I feel that way. Does anybody ever watch "Everybody loves Raymond?" Well, sometimes I feel like Raymond's brother Robert, and my sister is like Raymond. She is the one with the interesting career and is more financially sucessful, so I feel sometimes, she is the "favorite" and I am looked at as "the baby". (Even though I was the first to get married and have a child.) Well, feel free to offer any advice you can. I'm really hoping someone has some insight they can share. Thanks in advance. :-) (link)
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First of all..What the hell fatcat or whatever your thing is? Grow up. This woman has come to this website for help with a problem, that for once isn't about sex or some stupid boyfriend. I applaud her. Anywho, the only advice I can give is, to try and talk to your family. My guess is, they think that it doesn't really bother you as much as it does. And, they don't even realize what they say or do affects you that much. It tends to happen because, everyone has their own seperate lives and they get wrapped up in their own problems and feelings and emotions. I would try to shrugg a lot of it off as well. Don't take things so seriously. Try to be as neutral as possible. When something they say or do upsets you, just remind yourself that you are a good person and they love you very much, they're just consumed with their own thoughts and feelings right now, and they're just venting. But, if there comes a time, when you can't do that, it's ok. It's hard to hold back some times. This is when you need to sit down, and wear your heart on your sleeve. Tell them all of your feelings. Just tell them gently, it might come as a shock to them. And, remind them of how much their thoughts and opinions mean to you; how much you love them. I hope that has helped. Good luck.
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Rating: 5
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I appreciate you good advice. Thanks!
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