Hey Rei,
I was wondering if you could help me with an issue on friends. I once told a friend what I w anted in a friendship, someone I can trust & depend on, someone who will hear me chatter crap and basically well someone who will love me as me and she said it was as if I were looking for a boyfriend. Lol. Do friendship last? Alot of my friends come and go and I am beginning to feel that the reason is me. At times, I would feel paranoid like how they think of me, are they using me and things like that. I feel that sometimes I am underappreciated. I would do almost anything for my good friends and I don't think they know that. I don't really know how to express myself well being broughtup in a chinese environment. (I don't know if that's an excuse but I believe it's partly why I am like this). We don't show big expressions like hugs and such that much. It just feels weird. I would really love to have a BEST friend, I never really have one. Someone who knows you in and out, I am envious for all those who finds one. And I hate it when my friends are insensitive to me. Or am I oversensitive, I tend to be hurt my small, thoughtless comments by people who are dear to me. For example, like when they suddenly don't talk to me, I feel as if they are mad at me and will be wondering what did I do wrong. Well after it, maybe they were mad but it was for a brief moment or not even it, they're just quick to temper. or something like that. I am just ranting, aren't I? Sorry. I hope you can answer my questions if they are there, well er read between the lines? Thanks.
sure i would love to help. (thanx for asking me btw, since ur the 1st *hugs*)
you asked if friendships last. its a good question but the answer differs with different people. do not get paranoid with urself (it usually gets you nowhere), think positive. if u feel that they are using you, maybe u should tell her. dont keep it inside of you! thats really important because in a friendship, communication is really important. strengthen up your communication with her, and maybe from there u might get to know her better then u know her now.
often people dont know how to express themselves, be it a simple hug or wadever, dun blame the enviroment! if i need a hug, i'll ask for one. and if u ever need a hug, i'll be here to give you one. dun forget the other people around ya, they appreciate you around, they might not show it, but deep down inside they care. (DUN FORGET THIS!) they care ALOT. finding the right friend to call the best is whether u believe in urself if u can find her. but before that, ask urself, ARE YOU READY FOR THIS NEW FRIENDSHIP? the time might not be now, but the time will definately come in the near future. she might be right infront of your eyes for all u know. it can come fast and even end fast. sustaining it is easier said then done, but tell urself its possible. tell urself shes worthy of the countless tears u cried for her. tell urself shes ur bestfriend and u'll stand by her like how she stood by you. emotions are sometimes hard to control, cry it out if u must. it doesnt show that ur sensitive or oversensitive. its show that u have feelings, and ure someone who cares for a friend.
i hope it helps, and good luck with ur search in finding your bestfriend! (if theres anything more, or a question i left out, feel free to drop me another question! i'll be happy to help out whenever i can) -Rei
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