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I'm Em.

I'm a 20 year old English/History student living in Sydney.

I dig art, music and books.

I'll take questions on relationships, friendships, high school, uni, or whatever else.



I try to give the best advice I can, usually drawing on my own personal experience. But I'm not perfect, and sometimes when I look back on some of my advice it's far from it (especially when I was 15 and writing LiKe THiS). It's just advice, though. It's not an answer or a solution, it's simply a potentially helpful perspective. And that's all I can offer you.







Photo:

Yayoi Kusama

"Infinity Mirror Room"

Performance art.

Mirrors, soft sculptures.

Castellane Gallery, New York.

1965.




Gender: Female
Location: Sydney, Australia.
Member Since: January 11, 2007
Answers: 391
Last Update: May 22, 2014
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ugh I am really frusterated, worried right now because after school yoday my boyfriend got a phone call from his mom she was pissed because she found out from someone that like 1 month and a half ago he came over the apt i was babysitting at (with my mom,her friend(owner of apt) permission. She was screaming, and she loves me and everything and all that stuff. And I do not know what she is gonna punish him with and say to him tonight but I just know she is gonna blow it way out of propotion. By the way the following information helps this: we are both 17, our moms are best friends, and weve been dating a 1 and a half. what the hell...i am worried about what she is gonna do..and she is SO over reacting. (link)
Ok just like any other mum shes just protective of her kids [Doesnt want him to have sex] and feels sort of betrayed because she didnt no about it. She'll cool off sooner or later, but getting ur mum to talk to her is a good idea. Shes just being a mum and shes just upset so let her settle down and everything will work out. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


how come i only look in one of my eyes? like sometimes it helps if i only look in my left eye, because it has better vision than my right.. and close up when i look with my right eye its pretty blurry, unless i REALLy get up close and personal with the text. i can also read it okay-ish when its faraway... weird. whats your diagnosis? i used to have glasses but even so my right eye vision still wouldnt entirely be clear.. im gonna see a eye doctor when i can.. but like... yeah.

13/f (link)
theres nothing wrong with you alot of people have one good eye and the other isnt perfect. If you dont want or like glasses try contacts. That way you can see better and its not noticable. You just dont have perfect vision in one eye. Theres also laser eye surgery. Dont worry about it, its normal. Hope i helped =] Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


16/f
Well there is this totally awesome, and wonderful, and like perfect guy that i really really like. The thing is i WANT to tell him but i dont know quite how. i feel if i say 'i like you' would be not enough but if i say 'i love you' would be to strong of a statement. how do i find a happy medium? and how do i come about saying it, and if something were to go terribly wrong, how do i get myself out of the conversation...if you know what i mean (link)
Well i spose the medium would be "i like you alot" lol its not quite "i love you" but it shows you do like him greatly. You could talk to him privatly and tell him that you like him alot and ask him out or you could send him a love letter or set up a date. if something goes wrong just say you have to go somewhere or do something. im sure he'll like you though. Hope everything goes well =] love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


ok sooooo i asked out that girl alex and she said yes right away im sooo fucking happy but i still wonder did i do the right thing??? i mean sure a am very happy but is wat i did going to cause eney kind of problems oh i just dnt no if i did the right thing just something in my gutt.
help please!! (link)
Maybe your just nervous about if its going to work out. Stay with her for a while and you might have alot of fun or if you still feel the same, then maybe its just not meant to be. Give it some time though, you dont want to be rushing your decisions then deciding you want her back. Hope i helped =] Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


okay so my boyfriend and i have been going out for 8 months but i need some help! so sometimes he'll tell me that it doesn't seem like i act like he's my boyfriend. he's not sayin i flirt with other guys because i definately don't. i know what he's talking about and i know i have to change but i need to know how. like i guess it's kind of like the quote " you don't know what you have until it's gone" i almost feel like since he's been my bf for 8 months i'm just like yeah your my boyfriendd, not mean or anything cuz i love himm and all it's just like i'm not a clingy person who will call him every single hour of every day or have to hang out every day. i really like him a lot and i don't want to lose him because i know i will miss him so much. does anyone have ANY advice as to how i can show him that i like him so much but make it suddle so he won't think it's an act becasue its not at all i just need help haha so please any advice is helpful thanks! (link)
Maybe your not being affectionate enough around him. Try cuddling up to him more, Saying i love you for no certain reason, or giving him a pet name (for example i call my boyfriend papa bear lol). Maybe spending more time together going shopping or to the movies or just ask him where he wants to go. Tell him how much he means to you once in a while. Sorry i couldn't really help out much but i tried. Hope everything works out =] Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


Jordan, a girl at my school, and me never have really known each other, but she seems really nice and I've been trying to talk to her. It just seems like she doesn't like me though. (AS A FRIEND! AS A FRIEND! I'm a girl and I'm straight. I'm just saying as a friend)I mean, I've talked to my best friend who is best friends with Jordan and I asked her if she liked me, but all she said was, "Oh, yeah! She just doesn't know you well." She's told me that about three times. I've even talked to Jordan on thecomputer and she was saying things like, "God, we never get to talk!" and stuff. The thing is.....when I try and talk to her she doesn't really try and keep the conversation going. At school she doesn't try to talk to me either. It's just like she's waiting for me to try and start talking. I'm sort of shy (not that much,though) and she's not shy -- AT ALL. So I don't get what she's doing. Why does she act like she wants to be friends, but then doesn't even try? Is there some way that I could become better friends with her? (link)
Maybe Jordan feels awkward talking to you because she doesn't know much about you and so she doesn't really know what to say. If your friends saying that she does like you then she probably does. Find something you two have in common to talk about. If its a tv show, sport, school subject, anything. Don't try to hard to talk to her just bring up casual conversation. Act relaxed and laid back. Anyways hope i helped =] Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


Read below before answering the questions.
1. Is it wrong of me to be upset at my sister?
2. Should I have my sweet sixteen alone or with her? If it's alone I can only invite 50 people. If it's with her I can invite 50 and she can invite 50. I'm planning on having a few crashers too. My parents don't want the party to be big because I had a huge bat mitzvah.
3. A close friend of mine also had an idea...we send out separate invitations and my party starts 2 hours earlier and they end at the same time.

15f. I have an older sister who's currently a senior in high school (only 18 months older than me). When she's around my friends, she commands all the attention away from me and says stuff to embarrass me or just make everyone ignore me. She doesn't try to hurt me on purpose, but she likes the attention. I think it's really unfair. I had a talk with her about it last night because she wants to combine parties for my sweet sixteen and her graduation. She had a sweet sixteen already. For once, I want the spotlight on me. When she's there, I can't get that. If I'm about to hook up with a guy or something, she'll ruin it by taking me away. If she likes my friends she makes them her friends and if she doesn't like them she tries to get me not to be friends with them. I told her all this last night when I was trying to convince her not to be mad at me for wanting my own party and she's like "It's not my fault, but I'll try." She didn't try. Today she told me about how one of my camp friends who PROMISED that he'd always be closer to me because we're close in age IMed her last night and talked to her about something. It was trivial, but it pissed me off. I did this theater thing over the summer and I spent all day with the same people. I've known this particular guy for years. My sister didn't get into this theater program, and she told me how the guy said he considered her a part of the cast. She wondered why I didn't laugh. I didn't laugh because that wasn't funny and it wasn't what I wanted to hear! She met all my camp friends when I had a cast sleepover at my house and as usual, basically stole the attention from me and made the whole cast love her, even becoming closer with the guy I liked than I was. And she doesn't understand why this upsets me because she doesn't have that many friends of her own. But does that give her the right to steal mine?

Please try to answer the above questions. Sorry for ranting. Thanks. (link)
1. You should be upset at your sister. Shes seeking attention because shes not getting any herself. She should understand that you have your own life and that you want her to not try and take over it.
2. i think you should have it alone. Your sisters friends are older and will prob take over your party. Its YOUR birthday so have fun! you deserve to be in the spotlight once in a while.
3. Partys usually start off a little awkward and hesitant so by the time ur sisters friends arrive you probably would have just started to have fun and she could take that attention away from you.

Its good you tried to talk to your sister but shes obviously not getting it. If you want your own party then have it. Its your bday and your decision. I hope u have a great bday and happy bday =] Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


What Do I Wear To A Valentines Day Party? Thats Not A Dress? Thanx! (link)
Its a party so just dress for a party. Maybe ask the host what you should wear or a close friend or boyfriend watev. i dont think it really matters just something nice like good jeans and a nice top or something. Something casual yet nice. Cant really help you out much though. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


i am teaching myself the guitar and i need a web site so i can find free sheet music (link)
www.ultimate-guitar.com
This site is awsome! i just started playing guitar and i already know afew songs cuz of this site. Its easy to read tabs and it even has chord charts so you will now how to play them. Hope i helped =] love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


This is probably under the wrong category, but who really gives.

Anyways, my 16th birthday is on February 10th, which is a Saturday this year. And I don't know what I wanna do for it. My boyfriend won't be here to celebrate it with me because he's a Marine & he'll be in Iraq. He leaves sometime this month.

Since I can't spend it with him, I'm not really sure what I wanna do for it. Last year [since I am hispanic], I had the choice of a quince or 2000 dollars. I chose the money. All of it is gone since I went on a trip to Puerto Rico, and then took some money down there & shopped. Anyways, I'm also half white, so I can have a sweet 16. I don't really want a huge party thing, but I don't know what I want.

I was thinking of getting a piercing, but I want a few piercings, and I don't think my parents are gonna spend around $45 on each piercings. I want about 3. My tragus, my marilyn & my belly button. So, if I can't get the three piercings, I don't want any of them at all.

Now this is my problem right here: I want a small get together with some friends. Thing is, I don't really have any friends because I don't really trust anyone anymore. Most of the people that I thought were my friends talked a ton of shit about me behind my back, and being the person who doesn't take shit from anyone, told them to go fuck themselves. So what do I do?

I'm not even sure what I want for my birthday. A couple months ago I was super positive of what I wanted, but now I'm just not sure. >:[ Help? (link)
Well sweet 16's are always supposed to be special so maybe think of something you have always wanted. Maybe go on another trip somewhere. Or you could save up your money for a car if you dont really want to do anything. You could do something exciting like bungee jumping or sky diving or skiing or rock climbing. If you do have some really close friends you could get really dressed up and formal and go out somewhere really nice or have a mini party with a theme like hawaiin or things you would never wear. Or just go shopping. it depends what your into. Maybe going to a concert and spending the night in a hotel and going with a bestie or something. i hope you have an awsome bday and happy bday =] Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


hi i'm a girl i'm 14 years old and i'm from lebanon and here's my problem:
there's this guy i like and turns out he likes me too and we ended up together he loves me (so he says) and keeps writting me love notes and giving me flowers ect... he's so nice the funniest guy in class and makes me feel good about myself and some girls like him in class but that's not the problem here it is my mom and my best friend don't approve of this i love my mom so i broke up with him but he says im not like any other girl he has ever met and that he will not give up i just feel so bad for not kind of egnoring him he uses some of my friends to change my mind but i won't budge i do like him alot though and ther's this other problem his best friend totally likes me (my ex told me) and i'm really friends with him too and i fell like i make my ex jealous when i'm around him what should i do about both problems help!!!!!!! (link)
Hey,
ok well so you like your ex and his bestfriend likes you to. Even though you should listen to your parents, if you like him and you think its right then do what YOU want to do. Its no ones decision but your own. Your ex obviously still loves u alot and really wants you back. I love my boyfriend and my bestfriend doesnt aprove at all but all that matters is that i do love him and trust him and although i do love my bestfriend i still want to be with him so i am. If you dont like your ex's bestfriend more than a friend, then tell him. Theres no point leading him on. If you like your ex then do what you feel is right. If you do love him and trust him and want to be with him, do it because you want to. Dont let him go of him if someone else wants you to. If you just want to move on then tell him. Whatever you chose to do will be the right decision just trust your intuition and what feels right. Talk to me anytime and i hope everything goes ok =] Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


I had a few (maybe 3) bumps on my pelvic region (not actually on my vagina or in anywhere used for sexual activity)...I had these bumps in these upper area where the triangle of a bathing suit would cover. They were small and red and after itching them, one got extremely painful if touched too hard and appeared to be a whitehead. Then they dissappeared and have not come back...I'm pretty worried, and my boyfriend and then me are getting tested to make sure nothing is wrong (I am sexually active with my boyfriend). Could this be anything serious? (link)
I dont think its very serious. People get pimples all over their body, its mostly common on the face, neck and sometimes chest. But sometimes people get them on their arms or legs and in your case, near the genital area. It isnt much to worry about but its good your getting tested just incase. i hope everythings ok =] Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


Okay. So I'm 14 years old, but ever since I was 10, I've been extremely depressed. I don't even know why. But the littlest thing, say my boyfriend isn't around for a day, and I'll get mega depressed. It's only with my love life. Even if I don't really like a boyfriend that much, little things will make me cry, and I don't know why! I'll say I won't care, and I really believe I don't, but every night I cry and cry and cry. If I'm not depressed I'll often just seem to have no emotion. I try to ignore it. Is there anything I can do to stop being so depressed? I've tried doing fun things and everything...I just don't know, I've been considering suicide quite a lot, and I KNOW that it wouldn't be cool to do that, but...I'm a great student, my parents aren't bad, it's not like I'm dirt poor or anything, and I have great friends, and big dreams, but if my love life isn't perfect, I just break down. (link)
Alot of kids going through puberty suffer depression. Even i did for a while. I used to cry very easily and one time i tried cutting myself. But good thing i came to my senses and i just suddenly stopped and i was happy. Try to get an appointment with a therapist or just talk to someone. A family member, a friend, pen pal, anyone. I mean if your desperate you can talk to me! lol You could see a doctor and ask if they could perscribe you some anti-depressants. If you need to cry, then cry. Dont bottle things up and if you dont feel like smiling, then dont smile. Think of positives in bad situations, even if its tiny things like "i have nice eyebrows" lol You should really just talk to someone close to you about this and see if they can help. i hope you feel better soon =] Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


I have this teacher... he's my gym teacher and track coach. I'm not trying to sound strange, but I think I'm sort of in love with him, and I have absolutely no idea what to do! He does flirt back with me, but he doesn't flirt with anybody else! Its always been me, and only me. Since I'm one of the best runners on the team, I'm always staying after class to talk, and he flirts with me by touching my arm and stuff, and he is SO attractive! He's one of the HOTTEST people I've probably ever seen, and I am under a "spell." Sometimes he'll call me into gym during my other periods so we can talk. I'm sort of obsessed, but hes only 23 and hes extremely gorgeous!
I am so confused, and no I have never done anything with him, nor will I ever, but I just don't know what to do! All I do is think about him and any advice will help!! (link)
Ok it doesnt matter how old or how hot he is, hes still your teacher. It would be better for both of you to just forget about it. if something ever does happen between you two then he'll lose his job. Maybe when you leave school you can think about dating him if you still like him. If he is flirting with you, that is very wrong. You never know what kind of person he could actually be. Try not to spend as much time with him if you can. Dont flirt back with him. Try and look for someone your own age. It might be hard at first but sooner or later you will forget about him. Im really sorry but its best if you just forget about him. Hope everything works out ok =] Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


14/f
heres the thing. im a little chubby, just slightly overweight. i like this kid who is exactly the same, but i am attracted to him, and just OBSESSED with him. i am friends with him through another friend but my other friend has asked him and he doesn't like me. well me him and my other friend are going to hang out this week so i just wanted to know what i can do to get him to notice me. its weird because we look like we are MADE for eachoter, we make a good couple (well i think), we both play tennis, we both like computers, video games, etc. and i really want to be with him. i feel like i'm annoying him but i never really talk to him though because of that. i am just so confused and i am sick of having imaginations of us together rather than the real thing. so my questions are:
should i continue liking him? or give up because i already know its pointless?
and what can i do to get his attention?

thanks in advance (link)
1. never give up on a guy if you think he wont like you. He might have just said he doesnt like you to your friend to hide his feelings. If you like him ask him out!
2. To get his attention try to talk about things that hes interested in which should be easy because you both like the same things. Touch his arm when you talk to him, and smile and laugh. Wear something eye catching, something nice to get him to think "wow shes pretty" And be confident with yourself and your body. You can wear a little of some nice perfume but dont use to much so that hes gasping for air every 2 seconds. Just have fun! i hope everything works out for you =] Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


okay so, i really like this really hott boy at my school who is in like all of my classes and we always talk and stuff. im always flirting with him but i cant tell if he likes me back or not. i want to ask him out but im scared that if i do and he doesn't like me back then our friendship will be ruined and he is really nice so that would be a bummer. what should i do?
(link)
You could ask some of his friends what he thinks about you or get one of your friends to randomly ask if he would ever date you. But if you really like this guy take a chance and ask him out. Nothing ventured nothing gained. If hes a good friend he wont let this get in the way of ur friendship. hope i helped =] Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


is medicated vaseline okay to put on your lips, like use it as chapstick? because i know that the regular kind is? (link)
Yes vaseline is fine to use on your lips it works just like a chapstick. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


so im 16, 5foot7 and like 120 pounds. id like to tone up a bit soo pretty much jus runnin, dancin around lol, different crunches, and maybe weights, and some spot toning. the thing is im kinda slender built i guess and im only a 32 A. and im worried if i start workin out that'll be burned off and ill have nothing left and id like to be able to fill out clothes & bathing suits at least a little lol!! push up bras dont work so yeah is workin out gonna affect my size much? (link)
I agree you dont need to lose weight if your doing weights you wont lose alot of boobidge. If you want to make your boobs look bigger you can use "chicken fillets" im not referring to chicken im talking about Elasto-Silicone Bra Fillers. You put them on your boobs and they are actually quite squshy and comfortable. They look like boobs and you wear your bra over them. It pushes your boobs together and gives you some clevage. You can also wear them by themselves if you dont like wearing bras or if your wearing an outfit that you shouldnt wear a bra with.
http://www.invisiblebra.com.au/bra_fillers.html
This is a site with photos and prices for them. You can usually find them in lingerae stores and the prices range from about $20-$35. Hope i helped =] Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


my bf doesnt have a dad and so obviously, the families a little messed up. hes always fighting with his brother. hes 18 and my bf is 15. his brother thinks its funny to piss him off and my bf flips out and they get into some big fighting match, cussing and everything else. i yell at my bf since i certainly cant yell at his brother, and tell him to stop fighting with him and all that n how he's just making it worse. then he says hes just defending himself and the times im not there it gets bad and im on the phone so i cant do much. so just not his brother heated up his lighter and burned my bf on his back with it. and obviously, it started a fight. his mom and his uncle thats living there dont do much so me, a 15 year old,5'2, and 125 pounds trying to stop them isnt working. what can i doo?? and do you think it would be right if i yelled at his brother? i just dont want his mom to say she doesnt want me around anymore. please help? (link)
My boyfriend is the same with his sisters boyfriend. They always fight and argue. Obviously they need a male role model in their lives to tell them what to do but they dont. If you havent already, sit down and talk to your bf about it, say its bothering you and u want him to stop.
Maybe try to get your boyfriend out of the house more, try and get him as far away from his brother as possible. You could try asking his brother if he could stop. Tell your boyfriend that you dont want him to fight and if he could try and make an effort to stop for YOU. Try not to threaten him with a break up unless your desperate for them to stop. If your not there it is hard but just keep trying to convince him to stop. If your boyfriend doesnt have a lock on his door already, maybe he should get one so he can have some privacy from his brother. Hope i helped =] Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


14/f
I like this guy that used to like me. He doesn't show any interest in me anymore. It really sucks, but now i think im just annoying to him , what do i do. in general

i just dont want to be annoying
HELP! (link)
Well he could still like you but doesnt want to show it, Guys are confusing like that, or he could not like you anymore. Its hard to tell seeing as i dont know the guy. If it seems like your annoying him, maybe dont spend as much time with him or limit it. Ask one of his friends if he still likes u or tell him you like him. Who knows he could like you back and then you 2 can get closer. If you like him i really think that you should tell him. If your talking to him you could ask him if your annoying him. Hope i helped =] Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx




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