Ok I have written about my problem here like yesterday and I am worried that with the server moving yesterday that it got deleted or what. Anyway the problem was that I am not able to move out yet of my parents house cause the immigration has not grant my citizenship yet so I can not go to college of apply for a job. they told me that there are some college here in Vegas that will accept me but I have not found one yet. I am just worried cause lately they have been acting like I was the one disrespectful when in reality she does not know how disrespectful I think her boyfriend is too me. And I am mad that she would believe what he has to say about me. I dont even think he should talk about me like that. Last year my mom had threatened to leave me by myself and I cried and told her how you are the only chance that I could be able to get a job. And she is going to tell me that. My whole family seems to have turned on me. And it hurts that they dont understand me. Here I am in a major crisis and they can't listen. So much for them saying they love me and care for me. They love and care for that lying man not me then huh. The hell with them if I could get a job I would have moved away already. I have the most difficult situation. And just to let you know I am a filipino like you.

Who says you can't get a job or move out yet just because you aren't a citizen yet? I assume if you're awaiting your citizenship then you're already a resident/legal immigrant, no?

I don't quite understand what your mother's boyfriend is doing to upset you or make you the bad person in this situation. But have you tried talking to your mom one-on-one? You two are probably not communicating properly and something is causing tension that you need to clear up with her.

I really don't know what else to say since I don't know more.

Do you not have any friends or anyone in your family who is close who isn't against you who can be there for support? You probably should seek someone too to be on your side and have them back you up. It might help more.

Good luck


This article is about how i feel on my mom and her textmate, almost in a relatioship. I am from the philippines, and i am 14 years old. August 21. 2006, my dad died because of Asthma. It was the most terrible thing in my life. I amost cannot sleep because of loosing the best person in my and my family's life. It was a very tragic moment.

And now, all i want to say, is that my mom has this textmate, and she is really, really secretive about it. They really just started out as friends, but now i can hear them saying stuff like "i love you" and that guy is saying like "thiking of you, not just today, but always." It really hurts my feelings, and it hurts so much because i know that my dad is the best dad there ever is to me. He never did anything mean or offensive to me. He doesn't freak out when i fail in my math grades. And now, my mom is just going to replace him with some law manager with my dad? Do you realize just how much that hurts? Especially when my da has done everything special and everything that he always dreamed of wanting - not only for himself, but for the entire family. He never got mad at me, and he is always in my side when it comes to disputes between me and my mom. But that doesn't matter, beause it really hurts when you lost a very great person in your life, and no you mke it worse by ot even metioning hi name anyore, or worse, even replacing hi which you know can be my father physically, but not my father, angel & best friend at the same time.

I have inherited a thousand stuff from my real father - my attitude, and my appearance. I look nothing like my mom except for my teeth, skin tone and my hair length. My mom considers all of these traits and apperances i have inherited from my fathr as negative ad non-important things. I am not forcing her that she should praise it, but at least just give importance to it, because it is my dad's trait, and it is the only thing that gives a last reminder on the greatet person in my family's lives. But when it comes to her text mate's characteristics, it is her 24-7 topic. "he is 5'11 feet tall! he's from london! he has green eyes! he has brown hair! he's a lawyer! he works in birmingham!" that is what my mom will never stop saying, which is rather annoying because she never gives importance to my real dad anymore.

If only you were in my house, it will really drive you nuts. For example, i wake up in the morning. I get out of my room and go visit my mom. When i visit my mom in her room, i just see he lying down, texting with her celphone. She didn't notice me. She looked at me, went to her computer and opened her email account (the one she uses for her chatmate only) and read this email with red and black text. She ignored me. I can't help it, so i said "mom-" "ok, just a second ok?" she said before i can finish what i was going to te her, in a sort of a "none of your business" tone. So i ran out of her room, and i slammed the door. Ever since her textmate came into her life i was like a piece of dirt on the floor.

I am a 14 year old with a lonely heart, just because the only parent left to take care of me is now focusing her priority to a ritish freak instead of her own daughter. So please, i need your help.

First of all, sorry about the loss of your father. I lost mine too in August of 2006 (coincidentally, i'm also Filipino!).

Where your mom is coming from: It's been almost 3 years since she lost her husband/your father. She loved him as much as you and went through a lot with him i'm sure. But, in situations like this, somehow, you have to move on eventually. She probably does not want to keep on going through life alone, especially raising you on her own. I don't think she is out to replace your father and forget about him, but more of her finding feelings she had thought she lost and would never feel again. Try to see it from her perspective and how it's been for her.

She is doing one thing wrong and that seems to be that she's making you feel neglected talking about this guy all the time and making you feel like you, her daughter of 14 years, is now of less significance. She's acting like a silly teenager, which is what she shouldn't be doing. Maybe you should sit down with her and talk. Tell her that you're happy that she's been so happy and excited as of late, but she talks about it so much that it makes you feel left out or pushed aside. You're still having trouble dealing with your father's lost and that you feel like you're being overshadowed by this guy thousands of miles away.

Do you two spend a lot of time together. Maybe you can ask if she could do that more. Have her make the effort to make time for you as she does for him. Maybe then you can find common ground.

Also, you never know, she might talk about you to him. If not, she should too. If he's a nice guy, i'm sure he will also want to get to know you and want your acceptance.

I think just #1 is talk to your mom. Tell her how you feel. Try to find a way for both of you to spend time. You're still young and in a situation you two have been in with the loss of your father/her husband, it should bring you closer.

I hope I could be of any help. If you want to talk more about this or ask me more in the situation, send me a message here. I'd be glad to help you more. Best of luck!


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