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Love means giving somebody the ability to destroy you & trusting them not to do it.



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Gender: Female
Location: New York
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Age: 16
AIM: XXMiSZJUCiiXX
Member Since: July 4, 2005
Answers: 951
Last Update: March 25, 2007
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I've liked this guy for awhile. neither of us have gone out with anyone before. i was convinced to ask him out, and being the idiot he was he didn't answer, just invited me, my friend and his friend to a chat acting as if the whole thing was a joke. so as i continued to ask if could answer the question my friend was fighting with me saying melissa take a hint the answer is no, get over him, blahblah. the fact is he didn't answer, i don't know what his answer is idk if he's telling me. but even after my friend stopped fighting with me i feel so pressured to get over him. but i don't want to, i don't care if theres no point, it's my life. and he called me yesterday and i answered and he didn't even say anything which makes it even more confusing. i have a right to still like him, it's my feelings, idc about other guys, it's not like i need a bf desperately at this age anyway. but i feel so pressured to get over him and i hate it. i have a right to still like him if I want right? (link)
Yeah, you do have a right to still have feelings for the guy. You can't really help who you like, it just happens.
Don't let your friends tell you what to do. Like you said it's YOUR life, not theirs.
Maybe the reason he didn't answer was because he's really shy and is not ready for a serious relationship or maybe he really did think you were joking around.
Try not to bring the question up again and just stay friends for now and see what happens later on. Don't stress yourself about this.
Remember, whatever is meant to be will always find a way



I don't know if my boyfriend is controlling. He wants to know where I am and who I'm with at all times. He says he loves me all the time and he wants to get married when I turn 18. I'm just about to turn 17. He wants all my time and he calls me a million times a day and expects me to spend all my free time with him. I don't think hes controlling, but I'm not sure. I love him though. How can I tell?? Is there any certain way?? Please help me figure this out. (link)
I wouldn't really say he is controlling but I would say he is clingy. Only because it shows that he really cares about you, worries about you, and wants to be with you all the time because he misses you. You should be straight-foward with him. Tell him that you need a little space and for him not to be so clingy. Be honest with him.



My boyfriend and I have been having a lot of relationship problems lately. All of his family doesn`t want him to be with me. Two days after Christmas he broke up with me, then he felt bad for breaking up with me, so then he got back with me. =]

We decided to start to take things slow, because we were so dependent on each other. Last night I got upset because he didn`t answer his phone and I was worried. I started crying and he broke up with me again, claiming that I made him feel guilty all the time.

So today, we saw each other. He felt bad so we made a pact. We`re dating, but we only see each other on weekends and only talk on the phone two times a day for ten minutes each.

Mutually, we both think that this will be good for our relationship because we`ll be able to spend more time alone. But, do you think it`ll really help? Thank you!

(link)
Honestly I think it will not help at all. The way I see it is that you two will slowly start to drift apart and have even more problems. Try being friends, it may be easier on both of you.



15/m

okay i was dating this girl sammie, then she kissed another guy i flppped and we broke up, she said that that kiss didnt mean anything... then for a month she bothered me and said she wanted me back, now i finally relieze i still really like her, and shee doesnt want me back... wat do i do to get her back, or is it even worth it?
(link)
Honestly, in my opinion she's not even worth it. Ask yourself if you would actually be able to trust her again since she kissed another guy. Maybe you don't really want her back but you think you do because she doesn't want you back anymore. Get over her and move on.



Hiya...i need help with a small problem i have. I have no trouble getting a boyfriend at all its just when i have one..after a few weeks i feel as though i dont want to be with them anymore..as if i get bored. Im only young but i need to know what this could meen? Can i not be in a long relationship ?? Please help (link)
I'm the same way as you. The thing is, you didn't find a guy that is WORTH keeping yet. One that will always make you happy. One who you can't see yourself being without. Just give it time. Believe me you will find the right guy eventually.



In English yesterday, everyone was walking around talking because it was the last day of school before break. I jokingly told one of my friends I'd like to go give him a hug, and, long story short, before too long all the girls in the class were in on this. Everyone told me 'do it, do it' so I finally walked up and asked 'hey, could I get a hug?' He said yes, to my surprise, and gave me a really nice hug. =)
My question is, what can I do from here? I'm sure he probably picked up somewhere that I like him, but I'm not positive. Should I ask him to hang out over break? He lives right by me, and I see him around sometimes. So what can I do? (link)
Yeah, ask him to hang out during the break. Go to a movie or something. Take a walk around the block and talk. Get to know each other.



No guys like me.
I'm not fat, but im like the furthest thing from skinny.
Blonde hair and blue eyes.
Ive had the occasional liking me for a day thing, a long time ago.
Now, it seems as though all the guys that used to be my friends ..hate me!Or they dont talk to me like they used to , they would just say something kinda mean .
I know your gonna say, wait and the right guy will come along but if a guy does come along, he just leaves!
Theres one guy that likes me ,but i dont really like him.
please help!!! (link)
Half of the problem is that you seem to have no confidence in yourself. You should never think low of yourself and find ways to bring yourself down. The other problem is that most guys are jerks.

Don't waste your time with guys that are mean to you and treat you like crap, you don't need them in your life. Stop looking for guys. the right one will come along, you just have to give it time. Don't think of all the negative things, look at life from a positive perspective. You don't need a guy to have fun. Go out with your friends and have fun and who knows maybe you'll meet a nice guy while you're at it ;)
Don't stress yourself out about this. It's not worth it.



hey i was thinking of getting some perfume. i heard Armani and stuff smelt good. But can you tell me perfumes that could get guys attention. and has a seductive smell?? Thanks!!! (link)
Fantasy by Britney Spears. Most of the guys I know love it. Also Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue is really good too.



Ok, so i lked this guy for a while now, i am in seventh grade and i just started a new school. I tld some of my friends tht i lked him, AND THEY TLD HIM!!!, He flirts w/ me all the time, and he knos i lke him...Why hasnt he asked me out yet? O and also, i have an attention hog for a bestfriend, so she will not leave him laone, ever since she found out tht i lke him, she constantly tries to flirt w/ him, dance w/ him etc PLZ HELP!!! 13/f (link)
I would move on and just forget about him because honestly he seems like the type of guy who's not even worth it by the way you described it. If he really liked you, then he would have asked you out already and not play games with your head. Your friend is what someone would call an "attention whore". If she was really your bestfriend she wouldn't be all over a guy who she knows you like. He's not worth it, move on.



Me and my ex have been broken up for 6 months, keep in mind I broke up with HIM. But when we first broke up i was like oh my gosh what did i do?! but he kept playing hard to get and then we tried being friends, that didn't work because i wasn't over him so of course i should've known to wait until i was over him to be friends, then i could've handled it but i didn't. So when we would talk atleast everytime i'd bring up getting back together and sooner or later it got to the point where we are now, we don't talk. Seeing him irritates me, i dont know why but he puts me in a bad mood. Honestly i had no problem with him, but he's been talking about me to the people in his classes that know me and its really getting old. I told him 2 times last week that i dont want to be with him anymore and he's still acting like im 'obsessed" with him which is what he's telling people which is deff. not the case, what can i do to get him to look stupid instead of it being me all the time? He talks about me too, very childish, its like he's trying to get me back for breaking up with him since we only dated a month i know it hurt him and him playing hard to get and talking about me is the only way for him to get back at me for hurting him i guess, but its getting old and he really needs to stop. (link)
Two wrongs don't make a right. Remember that.
If he wants to act childish and immature let him. Don't bring yourself down to his level. He's acting pathetic. I guess talking about you to other people is his way of trying to get over you and move on.


It shows that he is obviously not over you. Ignore him. I know it's hard but you have to show him that it doesn't bother you. Eventually he'll realize that he is making himself look like a fool but until then let it go and move on. You can flirt with guys in front of him to show him that you could care less what he thinks of you and says about you. He'll feel stupid. Before you do anything though just remember that he is just wasting his time talking about you and he obviously still likes you. If he didn't, he would be spending his time trying to get with other girls instead of trying to bring you down. Bringing you down is exactly what he is trying to do. He's trying to make you feel like crap just like he is feeling right now.



So theres this girl who used to REALLY like my boyfriend. Once she told me she hated herself for letting him go and she will always have a place in her heart for him. Well My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months and I know he has no feelings for her but it bugs me when she tries to talk all cute to him. The weird thing tho is that I want to be her friend. I talk to her alot and we plan on hanging out. I hate her when she talks to my boyfriend and I'm jelous of her for some odd reason but then I want to be her friend. Is that weird? (link)
That's not exactly weird. Maybe you just want to get to know her. Maybe you're thinking that if the two of you become friends then she will realize for a fact that there is no chance with her and your boyfriend. Maybe you just want to show yourself that there is nothing to be jealous of by getting to know the girl better.



alright, there's this junior at my school. we'll call him mark. mark liked me and another one of my friends and wanted to hook up with one of us. neither of us really cared so we both tried to get with him. we both started to like him a little. now mark likes me more, my friend is like madly in love with someone else and i realized i don't like him at all anymore. at all. he's a pervert, and he's cool, but he doesn't make me feel like other guys have made me feel. like i want to feel. actually, i don't feel anything for him, except guilt.

ANYWAY, TO SUM THIS UP:
mark likes me, I don't like him, i'm completely leading him on from when i DID like him, and now i feel like i should go out with him because seriously, i'm COMPLETELY leading him on, because i'm retarded, but i really don't want to, and i can't just be like "um no" after making him think it was all good.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DOO.
btw: "mark"'s a junior, & i'm a freshman. but he's only one year older than me because i transfered from iowa, where the cut-off's different. i'm 15 and he's 16.
ahhh, help me!! he wants to hang out this weekend, and he's cool and i'm down with that, but omg.....i don't want him to think it's a group date or something! (link)
First of all calm down. You shouldn't stress yourself over a little thing like this that can easily be fixed.
Sit him down and explain to him that you thought you liked him but the feelings aren't there and you can't help it. You can't force yourself to like someone when you really don't. You can still hang out with him as friends just make sure he knows it. Don't lead him on anymore because it will just hurt him even more at the end.



I am 17, and my boyfriend is 18.My boyfriend and I have been together now for almost a year and we are promised to each other to get married, I love him so much and i have never felt like this about any guy before until now. The thing is that he and I have a guy best friend Jake and when my boyfriend moved away to TN our other friend Jake and i started hanging out and i had a slight infatuation with him but i still was in love with my boyfriedni had to be honest so i told my boyfriend about how i felt and i ended up secretely dating both of them for a week, i broke it off with Jake because i felt so guilty about cheating, and my boyfriend knows. He knows how i feel and that we will be together froever but he has a massive trust issue with me. What can i do to make this trust issue go by faster so we can be happy together again? (link)
This might not be the answer you want to hear, but honestly it's not going to take him that fast to get over it. He has trust issues with you because you cheated on him once so he's not sure if you'll do it again. I'm sure he understands how much you love him which seems like you really do, but you just have to give him time. Talk to him about this. Everyone makes mistakes but if you two truely love each other, you will put those mistakes in the past and move on with your lives together. just remember to give him time.



over the summer....i met a boy. we liked each other and made out the swimming pool, bedroom, basicly all the time. We weren't bf/gf though (i was single)

I go back to his house about to get jumped by a girl who was his girl-friend. Is it my fault for not asking him if he had a gf of his fault for not telling me. i have been so depressed since then....i can't get over him, he seemed so perfect. (link)
It's not your fault at all. It's his. He was supposed to tell you he had a girlfriend, not just hook up with you. When you two hooked up, I'm sure you assumed that he was single. Don't be depressed over this, he's not worth it.



hey! i have a really big problem. so i dated this guy jake over a year ago now for almost 2 months. he dated thisgirl i knew and then they broke up after 2 years and me n him dated. which was quite crazy. anyways, we ended up breaking up bcz he cheated on me with her and they got back 2gether n have been on n off for almost a year. well, now he is dating sum other girl that idont know n the other day i messaged him on myspace, i havent talked 2 him since last year n i asked him for directions 2 get this oneplace we went 2 last year when we dated. he messaged back sayin he has nothing againts me n he knows he did some bogus shit n to give him a call ormessage when we wanna hangout for old times sake... so idont know if im taking this too overboard but he was my first realll bf that i reallylikedn my friend's birthday is coming up this weekend, and he knew her, thats how we met n began dating bcz his x was friends with my best friend n because of allthis she hated us... well i really do have feelings 4 him n want to ask him 2 come by but is it 2 weird?? but thing is... he never said sorry... what should i write back? thank you somuch (link)
Hey,
I think you should put everything that has happened between you guys in the past behind you. Start off fresh and be friends with him. I don't see why you can't invite him to the party. Tell him to stop by and you guys can hang out. It's not a bad idea for you two to be friends.
If you need anything else, drop one in my inbox.



Hey, i've been with my boyfriend for one year and things have been great except for the past month. I'm planning on telling him that i want to try and take a break bcause things haven't been going so well...today i was going to break the news to him but i think he knew it was coming and got very, very upset. He said that I was the one thing he likes in his life right now and that if i wasnt with him he doesn't know what he would do with himself becaus he's so upset with everything in his life. I feel so guilty trying to end things, but i just feel like things arne't working right now..What should i do? I don't wanna make him so upset, im worried about him. (link)
Talk to him about this. Don't just break up with him. See if you can work things out. One more thing you should keep in mind, you have to put yourself first because if you're not truely happy, that's what matters.



We've been dating for nearly a year, 8 consecuative months, but basically dating for a year. I'm 16/f, and he's 15/m.

If you don't include the past month, everything was absolutely ideal. We'd stay up for hours on the phone, and we'd just talk about the stupidest stuff. For a while it was a long distance relationship, and it was fine. We'd see eachother on the weekends.

Two weekends ago he decided that he was so stressed out that he would cut off all communications. Ofcourse it was the weekend my grandfather died, so I was hoping that my own boyfriend would have been there for me.

We're talking again.. but..

He's making the most horrible choices for himself. When we first met, he was a horrible stoner and a chain smoker. He quit those 'for me' because I was 'the only one who has ever cared' and up until a month ago, he's picking up these old habits. He's skipping school and making less efforts to see me.

It's breaking my heart. I've been so stressed when it comes to school ect, that I don't need his diva crap, you know? When I say diva crap, I mean, the second he has to do something that doesn't sppeal to him, he just won't do it.

I guess I'm asking, where do I draw the line? Like, should I break up with him? How can I talk to him about this so he understands my concerns?

I have so much on my plate, I don't know how much longer I can keep it together. Help me? (link)
I don't think you should break up with him just yet since you two had a good relationship for a long time. Talk to him about this. You need to tell him how you feel. Tell him that you feel he doesn't have enough time for you and you really need him. You need to be honest with him. If that doesn't work then i think you guys should take a break for a while so he can come to his senses and realize he can lose you.



me and my boyfriend have had the same problem for like 8 months. he only rarely makes time for me. but we broke up for a month and we got back togheter and he said that he would fix it cuz he really wanted it. HE CAME BACK TO ME .. you know.

but nothign changed, so i confronted him. and hes like well 'well shoot for hangin once or twice a week', and so far he's made no effort.

so is it unfair of me to give him two weeks and if he still makes no time for me i stop giving effort to the relationship. im sick of feeling like its one sided feelings, cuz what he says is so different from what he does. i just dont knwo what i should do .. any ideas? (link)
Actions speak louder then words. He is not putting any effort in the relationship. It seems to me that he doesn't care much. If he chooses his friends over you, then you don't need a guy like him. He's only going to cause you pain. You shouldn't let him treat you that way. Talk to him one more time and if that doesn't work then
break up with him if you are truely unhappy.



ok so here is the deal i am 15 and a girl. me and my bf have been going out for a year and we love eachother dearly. we were sleeping together but then we stoped because i was uncomfortable and we told our family about it. now he is jealous of his friend because they can go do stuff with their gfs and he cant with his. he says i am cheating him out of the realationship because all he ever does is make me happy and i dont in return. i would willingly do whatever to make him happy but have sex. i dont know what to do.

PLEASE HELP ME! (link)
If you are not comfortable having sex with him, then you need to tell him. What kind of relationship is there if you can't communicate with one another and tell one another how you feel about certain things? Talk to him about this. Tell him that you would do whatever makes him happy but he has to respect your decision about certain things. Don't let him pressure you into things you aren't ready for.



There`s this boy that "likes" me. I`m not completly sure he does but, he always asks his friends do I want to go out with him. It`s kinda strange becasue it doesn`t seem that he likes me but I don`t really know. When I`m sitting next to him he uses different names. For instance today he was like should I out with Destiny or Michelle. My name is NOT even Michelle. I know I`m Michelle it`s kinda weird but I figured it out. I know he`s not scared becasue he asked plenty of other girls out. Every time his friends ask me do you want to go out with him I say he should ask me not you guys. If I say yes then what`s gonna happen next I`m gonna have to give his friends hugs so they can give it to him?

So what my question is, is should I go out with him (I know he`s not gonna ask me out his friend`s probably gonna say it for him).

& can you also give me a few things to say to him about this. I want him to know how I feel & I don`t want to get hurt becasue i don`t think I can trust him. (link)
Honestly if he doesn't have the guts to ask you if you like him then he's not worth it. A guy who gets his friends to do all the talking for him is just a coward. If you think you can't trust him then you probably can't. Remember to always trust your instincts. If you still want to talk to him about how you feel then just let him know. come up to him and ask him what his deal is about getting his friends to do all the talking. Just simply ask him how he feels. When the time comes to talk to him, I'm sure you'll know exactly what to say. If it doesn't work out then just forget about him.





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