ask solidadvice4teens

read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators

I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 2967
Last Update: November 19, 2014
Visitors: 74402
Rated: 7 times
Average Rating: 4.14

Main Categories:
Mental health
Doesn't Fit Any Of These Categories
View All

my health teacher said we all have some kind of mental disorder? what? can someone help explain or back her up on this? (link)

That's an odd remark for a teacher or anyone to make about a group of people. you should let your folks know he/she said it and see what their reaction is.

There is no way to tell what context this person meant it in unless confronted by parents and students. Nobody can back her up on this either.

My hunch is he/she was frustrated with the class and said "you all must have some kind of mental disorder." I don't know though as I wasn't there to hear it. Talk to your parents and have them, fellow teachers, principal and students get her to justify her remarks.

okay so i'm 14 years old and i am really in need of a job this summer. i've applied at 3 mcdonalds that said they weren't in need of help so macdonalds is a no. i have an oppurtunity to babysit too but i really don't want too, so if you could help give me ideas of places that hire 14 year olds or a good job search website it'd help me tons :]

oh please don't say cutting grass or anything like that please

-hannah- (link)

You should try your local movie theaters or theaters as the case may be. They will hire people your age to work mostly cleaning theaters, tearing tickets while those 16+ will be handling box-office and concessions usually. I'm going strictly by the movie theater I worked at from 2001-2002 but it's pretty much the same everywhere.

What you would do is phone first and ask to speak to a manager and introduce yourself over the phone and ask about what they may be able to offer and try and get an appointment to see him or her.

You can also go in person and ask for a manager and talk to them when they come out to talk to you and see if they have something they can hire you for then and there.

This is your best bet for a job. You can try Burger King, Subway, Taco Bell etc etc. but your chances of getting hired there are slimmer due to your age as some people won't let someone your age handle anything to do with money changing hands and might just stick you in the back cooking, taking drive thru orders or whatever.

Definitely try the movie theaters in your area. There's nothing wrong with babysitting though as it's great money if they keep inviting you back. Make sure you learn CPR as it's a vital skill to have when babysitting.

what happens to your body after you loose your virginity (to a girl)?

this is what i heard:
you gain weight
you get flab on your stomache
your legs get spread open because of the vagina

so what happens? (link)

None of the things you mentioned above happen to either males or females. Physically you are completely the same person you were going in as you are coming out. Emotionally you will change and feel closer to your partner.

As far as mentally goes your personality will always be the same but you may come out of the experience more mature. What bothers me is the fact you were given this information by someone and made led to believe it as fact.

Do you have a trusted adult preferably female to talk to or an older sibling about these matters? I would talk to them from here on out about sexual messages as your friends don't have all the facts from the looks of things and you need someone that does.

This kind of misinformation can be especially dangerous depending on what sexual matter your friends or others who told you this are talking to you about. You need access to facts.

okkk so basically there are two guys that like really like me... and i like both of them.
one of them is paul, who just came to our school a month before it ended, whereas the other brandon ive known for like yeaarss
anyways paul: every one basically hates him because hes pretty jackassy. and hes full of himselfff (because hes REAALly attractive!) but, he is soo sweet to me its not even funny. we always talk on the phone, and hes just really nice to me. also, we get along, because i make similar jokes as him, such as "i'm more attractive then them so they shouldn't be talking to me that way." (if that sounds concieted, i promise its not) anyways we have great chemistry, and hes asked me out quite a few times, but i dont want to go out with him because of his reputation. lately, we've been hanging out everyday, and im seeing him tomorow etc.
brandon: this year i made out with him, before i met paul. then we kinda became friends with benefits. anyways brandons sooo funny, and also hot, but i would never go out with him because hes not the boyfriend type
anyways, so basically brandon considers me his propertyyyy.... and now i also made out with paul. brandon hasnt yet found out that i made out with him, and if he did he'd probably be hurt.
but i like brandon and paul ONLY AS friends with benefits, but i still dont know what to do in this is situation... HELP?!

The first person who acts like a smartass and half his age unless he's with you is the wrong choice for love but fine for a close friend. Trust me, you'll be dealing with his arrogance, selfishness and every jackass element about him at some point and constant fights as he cannot hide that. It will come out as that is exactly who he is.

You're into him (and trust me I can sense) because of his reputation and bad boy image. You like most girls/women are turned on by it. Once you get with him permanently you will see that he's not the sweetheart he appears to be now.

This is the BS bad boys use to sucker every girl in. Be his friend and be close to him but don't date him as it will not be a fun experience.

The thing that bothers me and should bother you about guy # 2 is that he considers you his property or trophy even and is territorial already when it comes to you and you're not even dating him yet. This is usually signs of a very controlling person and someone domineering.

Expect a power struggle in your relationship and him always asking what you are doing, where, with whom as he's insecure.
I would say to date him but proceed cautiously though and maybe even put him in his place and tell him your not his property and if you pull that shit while dating you're gone.

He sounds like the better person of the two frankly if you had to choose one. As far as the making out goes it's innocent and really none of his business unless you were dating him and cheated which you didn't.

He nor anyone else can fault you for it as you were not attached to anyone and needed to figure out who you liked and experiment a little. It's not like you're being slutty--far from that.

The whole friends with benefits thing doesn't work really for anyone when you think about it. Once sex enters the picture and neither wants to commit to a relationship someone gets let down hard and it's usually the girl who suffers most. End that arrangement now.

When or if you decide to date him and have a commitment you can bring sex back into the mix as you know his heart is with you and you are not going to get hurt.

If this were me I would throw both fish back into the lake and find other choices as there's a lot of bad personality traits happening here. However, if you choose anyone it's guy # 2 as he's a little more mature and responsible which is what you really need in a relationship. Guy # 1 is more the type to have as your goofy smartass pal.

I was just wondering why are girls so uptight bout admitting that they masterbate cause guys are open about it...thanks (link)

My theory is that guys talk about it more and own up to it because they have had access to their penis since day one and more or less rather instantly figured out what it did and what felt good. It's a non-sexual thing with toddlers, babies etc. and becomes linked to something sexual usually in the teen years.

Girls on the other hand don't have access to their genitals like boys do because a lot of it is internal with the exception of the vula, clitoris and all of that. They may also have been taught that nice girls don't and not to talk about it etc. or that it was dirty or whatever.

In reality from the stats I've read I believe its 55% of women masturbate and 90% of men. There may be a higher of girls/women who do but they just don't talk about it. Girls are more discreet usually.

Also, it is kind of embarassing to admit to something like that especially if you think you're weird or the only girl among everyone you know that does and you don't want others to know.

I think it just boils down to confidence about your body or lack their of and being afraid of what others think or just wanting outright privacy as let's face it it's private and solitary thing. Just my theory for what it's worth.

Okay, these girls that stabbed me in the back, started rumors, & talked about me behind my back & I don`t want to have anything to do with them. Plus, my mom wants me to not even be in the same room with them cause I was crying for basically a week cause of them.

One of them told one of my actual friends that they were going to throw me a surpise birthday party since I couldn`t have one. I`m having one ... I`m just not inviting them, so I told them I wasn`t even having one. I blocked their screen name, phone number, e-mail ... everything. The thing is, they live in my neighborhood. So if they come to my house, how do I get out of going to this thing? (link)

You don't have to go anywhere you don't want to go. If they show up looking to take you anywhere based on how badly they were treating you tell them "I'm sorry you went to the trouble of doing this/stopping by but my family and I were on the way out to celebrate my birthday just now." conclude "thank you for being so considerate (even if they aren't) and I'll see you at school."

That's a classy way of showing them where things stand and not letting them think you are scared or they have that affect on you. You made a HUGE mistake though in blocking their e-mails, screen name and phone numbers.

Why? You just might need any/all e-mails, IM conversations, dates and times of calls/threats/harassment should things esclate further. It proves to your school, teachers, yes even olice if they won't stop harassing you exactly what they've been doing.

It won't happen but if these people showed up and came into your house uninvited while nobody else is there you could call to have them asked to leave your property which is your right but you would need a damn good reason and a lot of proof before doing so.

Just have your foot in the middle of the door between you and them so you can easily keep them back and close the door should they insist you go with them or want to talk with your parents etc.

You'll be fine but in the meantime, I want to suggest that you take self-defense courses as well as a bit of counselling to figure out how to combat people like those and defuse the situation and end the rumors and backstabbing.

One great tip I have learned is to "consider the source of the rumor" If the people know nothing about you don't let it upset you. Ask yourself "Are they jealous of me, my talents, social status etc" and "Are these people from a broken home or some kind of situation where they crave constant attention?

Are these people poor students and I'm a great student that teacher's single out? That's a prime reason as it's called professional jealousy (even if you're in a school) and it's where someone or a group of people go after a high acheiver or performer on the job because they secretly long for what you have and dispise you because you've got it or it seems easy for you and hard for them.

Also really ask yourself if you may have inadvertently offended one of them or pissed someone off. most likely you haven't. You also need to think this "If they called me a purple urkle would it bug me? no it wouldn't because that's silly.

It's the same thing here as their rumor has the same weight of them calling you a purple urkle. The only power it has is if you react which allows for others to see that and bother you. No matter how much a rumor may sting or have a level of truth be stoic.

Once they see they cannot get you they'll move on as attention is what they thrive on. It's like an addiction for them because nobody ever gives them positive attention elsewhere

what do you write for the introduction? i can never think of how to start. what is an attention-grabber? how would i make one? (link)

I can give you help with writing an essay no problem as I write articles, columns and other things regularly having taken journalism instruction.

None of us on Advicenators can help you write anything including an introduction, an attention grabbing lead or even how to start without knowing your subject of the essay, points you need to make etc.

Leads, second paragraphs, conclusions aren't something we can teach you to write without knowing what the essay is about because the organization and writing of those things differs each and every essay.

If i see what you are supposed to write about I can easily help you structure it and provide tips to follow but I must warn cannot help you write it after doing that as the teacher wants your opinion and writing style to shine through.

I know you know that but a lot of people ask us for help with homework and expect us to generate all the answers and not learn it and execute it themselves.

okay so this kid named jon who i am friends with kept telling me over aim that he liked me, blah blah, but i didnt like him. i told him that, and was really sad. obviously i felt bad so i waslike 'it's ok we can be best friends!!' and he waslike 'do best friends ever hook up ?" and i just laughed it off and told him it depended on who it was. but probably not in this case.

we've flirted for a while and i realize that i really do like him. the last time he told me he liked was was two days before i told him that i liked him back. now when we talk its like REALLY akward and i feel like we talk about "hey how are you good, you?" but we dont ever talk about how i said i liked him back...and i dont know why.

i was thinking he was shy or something but if he is then why did he so willingly tell me how much he liked me before i told him back?

thanks for whatever advice you have (link)

He is obviously not shy. If he were shy he would never have had the courage even over the Internet to tell you how he felt the first time. That's something that takes a lot of courage in some people to do.

I think he is confused. You told him you wanted to be friends and nothing more and turned him down. Now, you have reversed that and told him you like him and he's not sure how to handle it.

He may even feel snubbed that you told him no the first time and now you want to be with him. He might not want to give you a chance because of this and that he fears or doesn't want to get hurt by you again.

He may have flirted with you for awhile but ultimately has backed off. You should talk to him about this face-to-face in a quiet spot and explain that as you got to know him you realized you genuinely like him and find him to be a great catch and are not BSing him there. Tell him you need to know where you stand.

This is the only way to move beyond the awkwardness with him and figure out if you ar friends, something more or nothing at all. You have to talk to him and leave it in his court to decide what he wants. He's probably just scared and needs reassurance he's not going to be hurt.

what are some good excuses to say i dont want a boyfriend
cuz i like this guy and he asked me out two weeks ago, and i said ask me later, but now he did again this morning.
so what are some nice ways to say no? because i like this guy a LOT, i just really, truly dont want a boyfriend
kaaayyy thanks! (link)

Tell him the truth. Let him know you really like him but before you start dating anyone you become friends first and develop a relationship from that.

Let him know that right now your schedule and life are very hectic and it would not be fair to start a relationship for him because you are not ready or wanting to do so with anyone. Make sure you include him in your activities as a friend would and tell him you will see what happens over time.

This way you aren't kicking him below the belt when you say no and you leave things open for the future. It is a classy way of handling it.

how can i get myself to STOP masturbating.
any ideas are great.
15.f. (link)

Like the others said why stop something that is normal, healthy and you get a lot of pleasure from? masturbation is not sinful, dirty or shameful. In fact statistics I've read say that rougly 55% of females of all ages masturbate and 90% of males.

The number for females may be on par or close to males because girls simply don't talk or admit to it as they like to be discreet about it. You're fine and in good company. Trying to quit is ultimately always fruitless.

You need will power as well as the ability to distract yourself with another activity to take the place of masturbation when you think of doing it. Once again why bother?

I masturbate but i dont squirt, it just comes out like shampoo in a bottle!! is something wrong?? or is this completely natural??

Any info is helpful!!

Thanks (link)

I take it you are female. This is 100% normal and is supposed to happen much like shampoo coming from a bottle. As far as squirting goes where about a litre sometimes of fluid comes out your urethra it's called a G-spot orgasm and is elusive and difficult to achieve. T

Those who can and have are not of the majority. You can read a medical article about the G-spot and its function here

when does the harry potter movie and book come out? (link)

Although Jack meant well with his response he's wrong. Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix opens in movie theaters on July 13, 2007 and not July 11th. The release date according to Amazon and Chapters/Indigo bookstores is July 21st for the next and final book in the popular J.K. Rowling series.

Well I had an interview at Sears last Tuesday. I thought it went pretty well for my first interview. Well the woman said I probably wouldn't hear back from then until about a week of the day I applied because the lady who would hire me was on vacation at the moment and the woman that interviewed me was about to go on vacation. Well i still haven't heard anything from them, so what should I do? I really want this job, should I call them? (link)

NO! Under no circumstances should you ever call a potential employer to see if you got a job or not after they've interviewed you. It's unprofessional and will actually make them not want to hire you as it will be viewed as you bothering them.

Believe me, that's not a good thing when they may have hundreds of applicants to interview and forms to sift through. The other thing is this woman who makes the final hiring decisions has or will be returning from vacation and needs to get up to speed and schedule call-backs. This takes a lot of time.

Just wait a while more and keep applying at other places and maybe you will get the call. Don't call these people as they will call you if they want you can haven't forgotten who you are. You'll just kill any and all chances of scoring the job if you call them as they'll jot down your name and leave you off their candidates list as this is viewed as the ultimate no/no when applying for a job and employers see it as signs someone is bothersome before employing them.

ok,i really need to build up my confidence,personality,and stuff like that. i feel like i want to change,for me,to feel better about myself. i want to be able to yell and scream and have fun,not care. what i need help is, how can i do all this***? how can i break down my wall i've had up for so long? (link)

The way to break down that wall is to figure out the fear and other issues that led to you putting it up as a defense and to keep others back and you from experiencing fun etc. and not caring or being natural.

Were you abused emotionally, physically even sexually (we have to cover the bases here) by someone or kicked around by people your age and made to have to build defenses or hold on to a lot of negative stuff most kids never experience?

The trouble usually starts there. How do you get rid of it and learn to be happy, be care-free, not care etc? You have to figure out first what caused you to become this way and deal with the issues surrounding that and learn to move forward and not let them hold you hostage or down for that matter.

I think you should consult an adolescent pyschiatrist and try to work around what is holding you back from living your life the way you want it, what ammounts for your lack of confidence, why your personality is affected by these issues and tips and tricks to get you to where you want to be.

A lot of people your age that hear the work shrink or psychiatist think it's a negative thing or only people who are extremely unwell or not with reality need to see one. That isn't tue as many adults, teens, famous people, teachers you name it see them for help with issues that are too big for one person to get a grip on easily and are affecting quality of life along with depression and other mental illness/disturbance.


Two of my best friends (girls) and I invited a guy to an amusement park for Friday. We asked him to bring a couple of other guys, and we won`t know one of them. They all play hockey and one is a professional in the WHL which is kind of exciting (and they just won the Memorial Cup - if you follow).

We almost never talked to the guy we invited at school because things were just always really weird because he can get shy. Other than talking about hockey, how do we make it less awkward?

Any conversation tips, good topics to bring up with guys you don`t really know, or anything like that is a lot of help! We will be together for at least seven hours there, and might go to a bonfire that night (which will be fine since other people are there).

Also, when we are each with a guy on a ride, how do we make that one-on-one situation not awkward? I don`t scream on rides, which is good but if we have nothing to talk about we`re basically strapped in for the whole awkward ride.

Haha it seems so unnatural to ask this, but please help! Any insight would be great. Thanks =) (link)

I would use talking about hockey as a starting point. Then much like you would with your friends ask him about his interests, hobbies, goals, what they want to do after highschool.

That should lead to a long conversation. seeing as you are at an amusement park ask them about their favorite and not so favorite rides. Also ask about movies, videogames and if you are bold what they like in a girl.

You have to treat talking to them as no different than anyone else. The only difference is you might get a boyfriend out of it at the end of the day.

As far as being on rides the only thing they'll be doing is screaming and or swearing. Sitting next to them and saying nothing and or screaming is typically the only response to have while up there on a coaster.

They won't judge you for that as long as you talk to them off of the ride. You'll do fine as long as you just talk to them without even thinking about it.

ive never given oral sex before, but even just brushing my teeth, i choke all the time. will i choke will giving oral? how can i make myself not choke?

thanks! (link)

At the back of your throat you have what is called the uvula (not the vulva that's another body part) it's a soft tissue (a palate) that hangs down over your throat. You've probably seen it tons of times before or even hit it while brushing your teeth.

It also serves as a gag reflex so if you hit it with something long enough you will start retching (dry heave), sputtering, cough or feel like you are choking.

The mistake people make with oral sex is to think they have to take the whole penis in their mouth. Obviously, that's why they're experiencing the above sensations as they're hitting the uvula when they do it.

I cannot give you any answer resembling a how to but if you focus on taking part of the penis rather than all of in your mouth you'll be fine and won't be gagging.

is it weird that i get horny spying on my brother when he's masturbating or is it just curiosity?

i dont want to feel this way but i dont knwo what to do.

please help!! (link)

Chalk it up to sexual curiosity which never killed anyone and wanting to see and or know how guys do this. Having said that, he is your brother so it's best you stop spying on him.

He needs his privacy and assumes that he has privacy when he's alone like that. You wouldn't want him spying on you doing the same thing.

As hard as it may be to stop spying you need to and the way to stop is to think every time you are about to spy about how you would feel if it were you and he caught you and kept coming back to spy.


My little sister always gets the attention and love! I'm serious! My sister does something, I get blamed for it! Everytime my parents leave me and my sister alone, my sister actually bites me! Then when my parents get home, they bring something for my sister, but not me! Then I tell them what my sister did, but they say, "Honey, you know your sister would never do that." Then, my sister tells my parents that I bit her and punched her. I get in trouble! I need advice on how to control my stupid sister! If it helps, my sister is going to be 11 in 2 weeks. (link)

Your sister is younger by two years and needs more of their time, support and attention. You are 13 now and expected to be more independant and not always needing their attention or pat on the back.

Because you are older they expect you not to hit your sister or be physical in any way even if she hits you first. They expect you to walk away and come get them to deal with it.

As far as them saying that she would never do something prove to them that she has using words and show them the bit marks if you have to. Yes, they'll more often take her side if it's something physical as they would expect you to walk away.

The reason you get blamed is for fighting back against her to continuing the argument and not finding them or another adult to stop it and talk with her about her actions.

You cannot contol her or anyone else for that matter. If your sister starts a fight or gets on your nerves find a way not to react, seek their guidance and things will turn out better for everyone.

I'm sure there are times when your parents bring you presents too and your sister might not get one. Trust me, they love you equally but expect more out of you here because you are older and should be wiser to try and back away from fights she's starting and not to hit her etc.

i want to tell my crush i like him at graduation. how should i do it?

14/f (link)

What you should do that usually works well is walk to him say I'm X remember me? If there's a dance or a party where there's music to dance ask him for one. Talk to him for a minute or two and press a piece of paper with your digits, e-mail or IM and tell him you want him to be in touch.

If he likes you he will call, if he doesn't than you'll know he's not in to you and nobody will know either way you asked him out or asked him if he liked you because you used this sneaky way of finding out if he's interested.

You could also give him the same piece of paper with your info on it, talk to him for a bit and mention there's a party you are throwing soon or everyone's hanging out at a movie or a certain place and invite him. If he doesn't seem interested then you'll know where you stand without embarassment or people finding out.

Today i went to the gyno & got a papsmear because i have HPV & i need to be tested every 6 months... so ... now i`m spotting. i`m supposed to get my period at the end of the week so i`m either pregnant, or could it have something to do with the papsmear.. i`m freaking out. (link)

If you just went to your gyno today and had a test and a regular exam they would have told you if you were pregnant or not as it's the first thing they would notice.

In the case you might be pregnant which I doubt based on this info don't start freaking out until you have taken a few pregnancy tests and get the results.

Spotting can occur for many reasons and not all of them are linked to pregnancy. I'm not sure if it's related to a papsmear but I would think if you were pregnant it's the first thing they would notice. I would get a pregnancy test from the drugstore and ease your fears and get the results.

read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators

eXTReMe Tracker