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I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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sorry if this isnt in the right category but..
i get acne often, not alot of it just maybe two big zits or something.

what really really works on acne?
and what makes acne clear up overnight? or as quick as possible?
please lemmi no? thanks a bunch =] (link)

Acne usually doesn't clear up overnight but it can be dealt with swiftly if you see your family doctor who will assess how bad they think it is based on how you look now and on the history you give them about your problem.

I don't know if family doctors can prescribe medicated creams for acne or if only the dermatologist they refer you to can in the U.S. as I'm not from there.

You see, a lot of acne problems cannot be handled properly without seeing a doctor that can give you a prescription with medicine in it that actually eats away at the zits and prevents them from ever returning. Anything you would buy off of the TV or store shelves cannot and does not contain medication. I

It's only good if you have a few little pimples and not a bigger issue or one where they constantly come back no matter what or won't for that matter disappear because they lack the strength and potency that is several times higher than that of any supermarket product.

My advice, see your family doctor and get referred to a dermatologist who can give you a medicated cream that practically burns them off. I've done this before and it took a week or two for them to leave and then you keep using it as a preventitive measue until the doctor tells you not to.

For little teeny pimples use the supermarket products Oxy, Clearasil etc but for a larger problem see a dermatologist.


theres this girl and i dont like her like a girl friend or anything but every time were together all we do is sexual things... so you think its bad to do this we have never screwed and wont but we just play around do you think i should stop or do you even think it matters? (link)

As long as she knows you aren't in a relationship together nor will be you are fine. It would be best if you did start a relationship as obviously there is a sexual attraction or you wouldn't be doing this every time you hang out.

Make sure she knows it's just a friends and beefits deal and nothing else so she never gets hurt. Fooling around is fine as long as you both establish how far this will go and where it cannot get to.


my freinds 6 year old daughter started having her period. The doc said it might be a one time thing ... are there any ways this can hurt her or cause any damage to her? What if it isn't a one time thing? Are there any ways we can help her out? (link)

It's a medical condition that is called precocious puberty. There is a way for the doctor to slow it down a little but not stop early puberty completely from happening to your friend's daughter.

I'm not sure of all the reasons why it occurs because it's really, really complicated but here's an article for starters that may help.

I'm sure if you punch in the term precocious puberty into Google that you'll find tons of information and even support groups with other parents helping eachother as they definitely exist. There are even specialists out there exclusively for treating this condition.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Precocious_puberty


What does it mean when someone says " he went down on me" (link)


It means a guy gave a female oral sex. He went to her down stairs region etc. to do it hence the slang term.


just turned 13/f. ok i live with my dad and its very hard to talk about girl stuff
plus i can't go to ANYONE else. well i really want a push up bra. not just for the effect, but also because right now the bra i'm using right now my nipple points out and its disgusting because you can see it throught my shirt.i cant go get one because there is NO ONE tht can take me. what do i do to cover it up, and i havn't started my period yet either.
plz help me (link)

Believe me your father is just as intimidated about this and you going through puberty as you are if not more so. He knows sooner or later that you are going to need a bra and your period will start later and he'll have to help buy tampons etc.

You both have to get through you going through puberty relatively unscathed. Here's what to do: tell your father that you need money to purchase a few female things and rather than us both being uncomfortable drop me off at the mall and let me do it and then pick me up afterwards.

Tell him you know exactly what you are looking for and where to find it. Go talk to a female cashier in the sales department and tell her what you need in a manner where you cannot be overheard and let her direct you to a bra that is suited for you.

Like the other posters said you don't need a push up bra here just something that isn't see through and where the nipple doesn't protrude or have an outline.

If your dad asks what it is you need just casually say "oh it's just a bra." and leave it at that as he's going to be just as red-faced as you and will hand you all the money you want to go buy one as long as he's not needed to be there. Ideally, he's your father and should be there but this is really a department for mom or an aunt.

The other cool thing you could do if you have a best-friend you trust is talk to her mother privately and explain your problem and ask if she will take you and your friend to get them as you would be mortified if your dad came.

She could then explain to your father later that you asked for her to help because she's a woman. If you have grandparents still living they can help as can an aunt or trusted adult. I know how you must feel but there's a million or more girls who went through this before you. You aren't alone by any means.


ugh, i just got my hair cut, and i absolutely hate it. its just above my shoulder, and it's much too short. any suggestions to make it grow faster??
(link)

If I were you I would ask your friends about who does their hair for the future. While I haven't seen your hair there's a chance that a more skiled hair-stylist can look at it and go "Hey, I can fix that and make it look good."

You ought to get a referral from a friend for a great stylist and get their opinion on whether or not they can actually do something to fix it or even it out so it's at least acceptable.

That's my recommendation having been there where one barber screwed up my hair two days before a job interview and a high priced salon fixed it and made me look like $ 1 Million


ok i'm about to turn 13 and people keep asking me what i want for my bday. all i can think of iz money and gift cards. i dont want any clothes either. so can somebody tell me any gifts a girl my age would like?
thank you (link)

There really is nothing wrong with asking for gift cards to your favorite stores rather than buy clothes. Actually, it makes a ton of sense not to want new clothes right now.

Why? you're still growing of course at quite rapidly at age 12 or 13. You likely haven't hit a large growth spurt yet but you willshortly. If you got clothes and or shoes right now there's no telling whether or not they would fit in 2-3 months.

So, getting clothes and shoes now is pretty foolish when you think about it. Tell your mother this as a reason for asking for gift cards or spending money instead.

As far as telling you what kid of things a girl your age should ask for as a gift it's very difficult to do so because I don't know you or what interests you and you'll find a lot of people who will also answer your question will have trouble here too. Each girl is different.

What I might recommend for one girl will not meet your interests. that won't stop me from trying. You might want to have a mother/daughter day at a spa and have facials, pedicures etc, make-up and hair done and then go some place special with her as turning 13 is a right of passage.

You might also like your own make-up kit, bubble bath, perfume, stuff from the Body Shop or to be given money to makeover your room. i'm sure there must be something deep down that you've always waned but never got. Now is a good time to ask again for it.


15 f
i used to sing so nice. now when i try to do high notes i cant and i crack and i sound so horrible!. i dont know what to do. how can i get better? what can i drink at home so i can get bettter? or what excersises. but i would really really appreciate the things i can drink or eat at home that ould make my voice better. anything is greatly appreciated though. thanks so much! (link)

Drink lots of water especially if trying to sing a-cappella. Your throat needs to be always lubricated when you go to sing.

The other thing too is that everyone has a range of notes they can hit and those they cannot easily. it could be that the part is out of your range and it needs to re-arranged and distributed properly if it's a group piece to suit your voice.

I would also recommend a voice coach so they can teach you techiques on how to hit certain notes and not hack your voice crack.


Well i onyl have one friend, yeah imagine how odl i am and ot of my whole life i got ONE friend. Well we always talk to each other on the computer and now she rarely tlaks to me and tlaks to other people and it makes me feel sad and alone and i can't make friends easily. What should I do? Please give your advice nicely I'm really sensitive about this (link)


You have to start believing the truth about yourself. You are a great person, interesting, fun to be around and as worthy of friends as anyone else is.

The problem is your confidence in yourself and this truth is way down for some reason or other. People are picking up on how you feel about yourself inside and noticing something's not quite right there and backing off.

The one person who you are friends with obviously likes you but has other friends and cannot always be there for you. She's still your friend but needs a bit of space.

Unfortunately, she may see you as a bit clingy at times and I'm only saying this because it could actually be what she thinks. Back off a bit, give her space and she'll come around again.

What I think you should do is see a therapist or psychologist and work with that person on your social skills, how you come across to others, skills for making friends, building your confidence and accepting yourself as the wonderful person you are.

This could make a major difference in your life as they can help pinpoint areas you are weak in and give you the tools to fix it and make friends. Don't just shrug this idea off as I know it works wonders.

In the meantime at school be friendly and helpful towards your classmates including those who don't know you or you think don't like you. Gravitate towards people who sit alone at lunch or don't have pals as they'll make long-lasting friends. Talk to people, get to know them etc. Host a party some time and invite people you really want as friends.

Show your classmates that you are fun and can enjoy yourself. Above all don't take yourself, them or anything anyone says too seriously. Always consider the source. You're going to do just fine.

You should the next time you talk to your friend ask her help in meeting new people and ask her honestly what bothers her about you and what she think turns off other people and ask for her honesty and to be candid. Get her to help you overcome weaknesses and meet people and do well. But definitely seek professional help and advice on this as I suggested.



Ok well this year was perfect til thsi new student showed up and he hates my guts! Everytime he sees me he would whisper I'LL KILL YOU just for me to hear only and makes his hand into a imaginary gun and "shoots me"..

He keeps saying YOU BULLIED ME IN KINDERGARDEN! (I'm a girl) and I'm guessing that's the big reason he hates me?

Frankly i don't care very much cuz this guy is the weirdest one in my class and everyone thinks he's crazy or mental since he says the weirdest random things out of no where liek if noones talking.

I had an accident about 3 years ago so i wouldn't remember if i bullied him or not and so I'm not aploligizing to him even though maybe it'll stop it. But if I did it was a long time go, KINDERGARDEN! He should suck it up and forget about it! Even I got grudges and some have to do with a person in my class but everytime I see her I don't go YOU HURT MY FEELINGS or give her this hating sign with my hands!

I don't like him very much by the way he's acting to me. I just pretend I never remembered him at all when he mention's it and act normal.

He's so stupid! Like he's trying to make everyone hate me because one time he told that to the WHOLE class! "Oh she bullied me in kindergarden" "WHAT?! Man, but she's the nicest girl in class!" And he tells the whole story to the class while IM RIGHT THERE! i don't tell people my issues with this girl and she's in the classroom!

But i feel so sad that someone hates me SO MUCH for something a long time ago..I'm a nice girl..high grades..everyone likes me and bullies bully people in my class for fun but thye don't tease me or whack me and I'm the weakest girl in the class. I even tried to talk to him a few times nicely and randomly offered him things like this snack i didn't like but maybe he did.

But I can literally feel the hate coming out of him which is like hurting me. Like come on..if it was kindergarden and I did bully him, I'm pretty sure it wouldnt' be bad since it's kindergarden and I've been so skinney my whole life! You shouldn't be going crazy for one thing.

As far as I remember, it was grade one. One day we had activities center and there can be up to only 3 people in a station and after a certain time, we rotate or go to different stations. I was the third person to go into a group til he came in and I said "you know there can onyl be three people in a group?" he made this rude face and said "SO?!" and kept playing. So I just went to the teacher to just tell her nicely about it but I guess he thought i was going to her so she could yell at me so he started crying and they phoned hsi parents cuz he wouldn't shut up about it.

Man..what a baby.

But I feel so bad that someone hates me so much like he's making a big deal about it so I hate him too but I don't go aorund doign what he does and tell it to other people. Like if it's something going on with the both of us, he should be talking to me.

What should I do?

I know you would say get alone with him and tlak but remember that i said that he's mental, crazy and different? I can't even explain what he's do but yeah..=S (link)

It sounds as though this person has some serious mental issues. You really are not safe around someone like him as you have seen recently on the news.

If anyone told me repeatedly they wanted to kill me and made a motion like a gun I would far from overlook it. I would tell every last adult in that school, the principal, fellow students and your parents.

You cannot take chances and only an absolute idiot would joke about such things in a school and direct the comments at a fellow student with all the tragedy that has occured. He is a head case and you nailed that on the head.

What you need to do is document the threats on paper when they were said, how long its been going on and tell them that he wants payback for something you did in kindergarten and you have no recollection of him or it.

Let the principal and your parents teacher know exactly what you showed us in your note (print it out actually) and allow them to deal with it. They can have him removed from the school and assessed.

This isn't a laughing matter and you know that much is true. Definitely start talking to the authorities about it. They'll take care of it. In this case I would also file a police report (I'm deadly serious here) about threats to your safety, outline everything in this e-mail you sent us and file official harassment charges against him. You need to do that and also have your school in on all of this.

It's a tough position for anyone to be in and I don't envy you but as you learned as a young child if something is icky, frightening, not safe or shouldn't be kept secret divulge it to any and all adults you trust and know who will listen and can do something to protect you.


My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months. We just started having sex in January and he had problems keeping his erection. He has no trouble when I use my hands or give him oral, but during sex he can't keep his erection for the whole time. I'm the first girl he's been with (hes 23) and I don't know what might be the problem. Like we will have sex and during he loses his erection and we have to stop and get him hard again. Anyone know why he has this problem and what we can do to solve it? (link)


I cannot say with 100% certainty that this idea will work in your situation but it's worth trying. Seeing as he is 23-year-old and you both are over 18 you can visit a condom store no problem.

They have a few inexpensive products designed for this problem that trap blood in the penis and keeps it there so he has a sufficient erection to complete the act of intercourse. If you walk in to an adult novelty store and tell them that your looking for rings or other devices that trap blood allowing for an erection they'll know instantly how to help.

The other thing too is that he's never ever been with a girl and is likely scared out of his mind and clueless about sex. Maybe if you spoke with him about his fears, the pressures be might be feeling etc. etc. he'll relax enough so it's never a problem.

Try what I mentioned first and if it continues happening it's because he has some kind of psychological hang up about sex. maybe he's insecure about his body or seeing yours or feels you'll be disappointed. You need to talk to him and go from that point.


usally when i have sex i do missionary, but what is the most injoyable position for a woman, i want to make my girlfriend have an orgasm like never before. (link)

Your intentions are certainly in the right place here. The thing is no male or female who answers with tips can tell you what your girlfriend likes and will respond to and climax from. Only she can do that.

You should ask her what positions she is comfortable with and what she feels will enhance her pleasure. You can then use that information to make sex more excting for her (not that she's bored now or anything)

One position that women like is reversed missionary where they are on top and in control when it comes to depth and thrusting. This would be something to try as well as doggie style position which is quite pleasureable for both sexes.


I really want a puppy and my mom said the only puppy we can get is if its a really small puppy. Like a chihuahua. Anyways, She doesn't think I would take good care of it. I know I would I've always wanted a puppy. I do not have my license so I am home all summer ( I live in the country so its hard to go to town ) so i would always be here to take it out, walk it, train it, play with it, etc. I just need to write her a small email telling her that I KNOW i can do this. I just need help how to sound very reassuring
(link)

You should try to get a Pug. They're pretty small when full grown, don't bark loudly, don't shed much and are one of the friendliest dogs you can get.

Do you have a job or money coming in through allownaces etc.? If you do volunteer to pay whatever percentage you can for said dog. It's one thing to promise to do whatever just to get a dog without showing you'll actually live up to that as well as take care of the dog and walk, feed and pick up after it.

You have to show not tell your mom you're mature and capable of handling being responsible for a dog. You need to show her you are responsible for your own self and pick up after yourself and then reapproach the dog issue. Show also that you are responsible with money.

I wouldn't send her an e-mail just now as you would only be reinforcing things she has already heard and isn't convinced about. Believe me she knows where you stand without you having to e-mail her to remind her.

You need to show her that you're ready for this. Go research pugs and smaller dogs and become knowledgeabe on them and how much work they'll be, save your money to pay for it or a percentage and come back to her at the end of the month.

The more you bring it up to her at this point is the more you're likely not to get what you want. She knows what you want. She's also taken in to consideration that she's not home enough to help you, and that training takes a long time and the dog has to be a certain size.

Also if you rent/lease your place there may be stipulations about what f any dog or animal you can get. See what happens but start by doing some of the things you promised you would now without being asked to, save your money and wait and see if you are rewarded.


Theres this girl that I met on myspace. We match we have the same passion, shes for god I am too. And I try to call her 3 nights ago she never return my call. I left a messege I know she got it. So what should I do I really like her and shes in my city I dont have to travel to meet her. (link)


Wait and see what happens with the situation. Don't call her or send another e-mail for now. You haven't given her enough time to respond. She's probably very busy, has the message and will respond unless you send more e-mails and messages which will put her off.

You don't want her to get the incorrect idea that you're needy or clingy or just waiting for her all the time and not doing other things. If she likes you she'll get back to you. She may have a ton of homework to do, a job, sports she's involved in, dance etc. etc.

Wait and see if she gets back to you. The other thing you have to be aware of is that people online aren't always who they say they are or may have some problems you don't know about going on with themselves.

She might be telling every guy she meets on Myspace the same story and could be seeing them too or leading people on so that they get attached to her and then she's hurts them for fun or a lark. That's an extreme thing but I'm just pointing out all the factors that could be the case. I'm sure she's obviously busy and normal and will if you don't pester her get back to you. You haven't given it enough time.


okay so how do u know if your vagina is tight? and also, for the guys, when your having sex do you guys care how big the girls pussy is? like does it matter to u? (link)

For me all that matters is that I love the girl I'm with and who she is and I'm having sex for the right reasons because I'm ready and committed to her. I think that's all that should matter for you and other girls too.

The last thing that matters to me is size, shape, coloration of her genitals. If it's the only thing your partner cares about or is a big deal to him which I hope it's not lose him as he's not mature.

Most boys your age have never seen female genitals not had sex so your partner most likely is or should be feeling grateful that you are doing something sexual at all with him. If he doesn't like the shape, size, color, tightness than he's pretty darn shallow and immature and shouldn't be doing anything remotely bordering something sexual with you or another girl.

Vagina's all look different and may be different shapes, sizes or have slight discolaration to the pigment of the skin. Not all vaginas look like the pictures in adult magazines or films boys may have sneaked a peak at.

There's nothing gross, weird, strange etc. with the way your vagina looks no matter what anyone may say. It's normal.

As far as tightness goes this can be corrected or made better over time. There's exercises caled kegal exercises that are designed to tighten the muscles in your pubic region. It's believed it also enhances intercourse for male/female.

Tightness shouldn't be an issue at all because of that reason. Most women who have had children resort to using kegal exercises because the vagina stretches an awful lot to deliver a 9 pound infant for example.

It doesn't matter to me as male as it's all about loving your partner first or you shouldn't be having sex and being mature enough to handle sex and what eachother looks like. Nobody is picture perfect anywhere on their body or looks like anatomy text books, diagrams pictures.

Your fine, don't worry and it won't matter to most guys as they're just thrilled to be doing anything remotely sexual with anyone but themselves at their age. Relax. It's fine.

Although it may sound gross or weird to you a lot of sex educators such as Lynda Madaras and the people running Scarleteen suggest that females take a hand-held mirror and look around down there to become aware of what their genitals look like so that they can accept them as normal and know the functions of them.


heyy i think im about ready for a more intimate relationship with my bf but
1. I have never been fingered before and I am worried about what the male thinks of pubic hair and what i should do about it and also what response they like and generally how it works
2. I have never given a hand job/ blow job and would like tips and advice plzz o"o
3. I have heard that it hurts first time...

thankyoo any advice woudl be appreciated :]

xx (link)

It really shouldn't matter to your partner about pubic hair. Having pubic hair or shaving it off is a matter of what you like and prefer and both are perfectly fine and acceptable.

As far as fingering goes it's essentially masturbation but your partner doing it for you rather than you doing it yourself. The key to making sure it goes smoothly is to communicate to him what you like, don't like, enjoy, want to try etc. to him before you do this and during and then afterward to give him a sense of what he did correctly or not.

He cannot possibly know how to give you pleasure this way and make sure you enjoy it as he's not a mind-reader or a female and doesn't understand how your anatomy works down there.

We cannot give you tips on h/j b/j as it can get you and anyone who gives the tips permanently banished from the site as our users are often always minors. However, I will say talk to your boyfriend before doing either activity as he knows what he likes and all about his genitals etc.

He can tell you before and during exactly what to do. Get him to help guide you, That's the best thing because you learn what he likes and get used to doing it so it's a skill you easily pick up.

When it comes to sex there can be some discomfort for female virgins. This could be because their hymen is being stretched for the first time through pentration. These days that's usually not an issue because the hymen typically is stretched through tampon usage or masturbation.

What causes most females pain and discomfort is the fact that they are not properly lubcricated or tha their vagina doesn't produce enough for there not to be friction during thrusting.

It's kind of metal on metal grinding in my opinion (as a male) with being lubricated properly. In that case all you need to do is buy an artifical water-based lubricant at a drugstore. The vagina needs to be well lubricated for penetration and intercourse.

You cannot just expect to start penetration without foreplay etc. and being well lubricated as yes, it will feel uncomfortable.


Hey. I know you guys hate these questions, I'm so sorry.

So, me and my boyfriend had sex Friday without a condom. Well, he pulled out, and it was a few seconds when he cummed. Well, I'm really worried I may be pregnant. What are the chances? (link)


Pretty high if you aren't on birthcontrol. The reason being is that precum contains more than enough sperm to get you pregnant. Percum is almost alway certainly present during intercourse.

A lot of people grow up learning the bad myth that if a guy pulls out before ejaculating that you're going to be okay. That's not the case.

Before getting very worried and worked up and jumping to conclusions buy a pregnancy test (get 2 for accuracy) and then if it's positive speak to your parents and get their support. Hopefully, you aren't pregnant.

In the event this turns out to be a scare please remember to always protect yourself with condoms or better yet condoms and some other form of birtcontrol as a back up if the condom breaks. Insist on condoms from your partner every time as it's for your safety as much as it is for him.

You might also want to look into NuvaRing it's a new device that is a ring that is inserted in your vagina and provides all the protection you need aside from condoms to be safe and there's no worrying about taking pills or accidentally skipping them at a precise time. A google search will yeild tons of info on it. That's what i'm recommending for you for the future.


Well my BEST friend is overweight but at the same time is REALLY pretty. She's never had any sort of thing with a guy, and the one boy she did really like, always ditched her. But now she has the lowest self esteem ever, and I was just wondering id you knew anything I could say to her to make her feel better. More than just "You're beutiful and any guy would be lucky to have you." I want to get it through her head that the right guy is out there and she really is a beautiful person. (link)

Your friend just might be clinically depressed. You should talk to her candidly about her self-esteem one day when you are alone and what kind of thoughts she is having about herself.

Tell her she can always vent her feelings to you and that it may be an even better idea to tell her parents, an adult she trusts, or her teacher how she has been feeling lately.

It's in her best interest that she sees her family doctor so that he can talk to her about her feelings and refer her to a psychiatrist if he thinks she is clincally depressed.

Perhaps if she were on anti-depressants she may start feeling better about herself. Weight issues are not always related to eating and could be glands.

Perhaps if it is food related the doctor could teach her how to get it in check, eat sensibly and loose weight. What you should do is tell her that you never lie and that she is beautiful, has a great personality, and is desirable. Tell her you'll even prove it.

Why not find soeme nice guys you know that value girls for their personality and not their weight. maybe there's someone you could introduce to her that could become a potential match or at the very least a good friend that includes her.

If you are really, really concerned for her talk to your teacher, an adult you trust or your parents. They can talk to her folks about it or the teacher can call her parents in for an interview and mention her plummeting self-esteem without anyone knowing you tipped him/her off about it. Your teachers are great advocates.

I hope this serves as some ideas of how to help your friend. Believe me, and you should tell her this that it's those guy's ultimate loss. Let her know too that boys are immature at this age but it gets better as you grow older.

Tell her she wants a man and someone who is mature and offer her advice and a chance to meet some. Show her how to attract people and get her personality and qualities to shine through.

It shouldn't matter to a guy or vice-versa a girl a damn about race or size if they are mature. All that matters is the connection between two people and whether or not a person is a good individual. Show her that she is all these things and try to prove it to her.



umm what is the exact use of pubic hair? is it ok to shave it all off cuz i do every once in a while because to me i fell cleener ! is this good or bad ? i grow the hair back and keep it trimed especially wen i have a bathing suit on!! its just everonce in a while that i shave it all !! bad or good ? and wut it for? (link)

This is a really interesting and good question. Nobody has been scientifically able to establish the real reason why we have pubic hair. One common belief is that its there solely to trap dirt, dust and other particles and keep them away from the genitals.

Another popular theory is that pubic hair under the arms and around the penis and vulva actually trap in certain smells that you may not notice yourself that turns on the opposite sex making you sexually desirable.

It's fine to shave your pubic hair off every once and a while if it feels better and cleaner and easier to manage to you. Nothing bad wil everl happen if you do (save for razer burn if you aren't careful doing it or cuts). It's perfectly acceptable practice and very common with females these days.

It's also perfectly fine to keep it too as many girls think erroneously that it isn't. A lot of young people think if they don't shave down there that it's embarassing and that guys will not like it.

Pubic hair is normal, acceptable and if guys cannot deal with that fact it's not your problem or any girl's problem. A mature male had better be prepared to deal with both a shaved and unshaved female.

So, the bottom line is it's fine if you do, fine if you don't. Sure, guys may have a preference but they need to understand both are acceptable and not put pressure on girls to live up to some invisible standard or idea they have of what women look like that they saw in one of those magazines under their bed ;)


My best friend.. I don't know what happened. But I can't stand her. There's seriously no jealously or drama .. anything going on. But lately she has been bothering me. I don't know. The things she does irriates me sometimes. Like when she tries to make me feel guilty for not sharing/buying her something. She would never repay me back anyways. She would always ask me if I was emo [that bothers me so much] whenever I didn't smile for a second. Is it just a phase? I don't know. She keeps throwing so many questions at me and I can't face her. I don't know. I feel like I'm taking care of her sometimes. I'm not her mother... My other best friend has noticed the distance between us. I really don't like her clinging onto me sometimes. I dont know why I'm suddenly feeling like this. (link)


Sometimes people who have been friends as long as you have with her grow apart or start to dislike things about eachother. Usually, after we confront the person about things that bother or hurt us that they are doing things start to get better.

You have to give her the benefit of the doubt here. She may not have a clue that she's pissing you off all too frequently. What you need to do is sit her down and have a heart to heart. She's probably oblivious to the way she's treating people and yourself and that it bothers even you.

Ask yourself if this freindship which you've cultivated over all these years is worth it or salvagable. If not move on as nobody has the right to make you feel miserable. The other thing with her constant questions bother you is to not answer them or deflect them by going back to what you want to discuss.

She'll "get it" when she sees she's not going to get the answer she wants. As far as the money issue with you paying for her and her making you feel guilty if you don't is there ever a time where you've relied on her for the same?

If so, attacking her with this isn't a good idea. Instead take a gentle approach in pointing out this out and that she does it too often.

The biggest red flag here for me (and it should be for you too I mean let's face it) is that you're scared of her for some reason and are very fearful about being around her. A friend will never do that to you.

She's also clingy which leads me to believe that she has social problems and all around never knew how to deal with people. You need to confront her to show her you can stand up for yourself and let her have it.

You'll feel empowered and she'll learn some valuable life lessons. Do it person and walk away. She cannot hurt you at all unless you let her. Much like a bully she's got no power over you unless you allow her to.

You aren't suddenly feeling this way. It's been inside of you for quite a while and now it's coming out as you cannot deal with these feelings anymore without venting them and dealing with it.

You know this girl better than I do. If you want to walk away do so and don't worry or look back. Is this friendship doing anything for you? Don't let her scare or intimidate you as you can confront her and tell her the truth. It's hard but you can do it.

Tell her you like her but add it really bothers me that you do X, Y, Z and it better change. Then again my vote is to walk away completely as she's doing a number on you emotionally here. It's a write off just like a crashed car I think. I'm being honest having been in your shoes before.




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