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I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: August 30, 2014
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my friends are starting to get so bitchy and i cant handle it. like i have problems of my own to deal with this. how do i deal with it like what do i say. my friend has been acting so mean to me and my other friend thinks theres something wrong. how do i control myself and ask her nicely whats worng? (link)

In this case asking her who urinated on her conflakes this morning won't work Seriously, all you have to do is approach her when you can both be alone and ask her "Did I offend you with something I said or did recently?"

Wait for her response and then talk things out with eachother. You might want to wait a few days before approaching her. Maybe whatever it is that has her being nasty with you will blow over on its own and she'll return to normal.

There's a chance her problem may not be related to you completely. There could be something else you don't know about that is upsetting her and she's taking things out on people around her for reasons nobody understands.

Wait a day or two and then appproach her, ask if you can talk together and resolve it in the way I suggested above. if you're real friends you can work through anything.

to get to the point i wanna have sex with this dude, itll be my first time im ready and all. i've thought it through but the only thing thats holding me back is i got these ugly stretch marks on my stomach and i guess im embarrassed by them i dont want him to see them. what can i do to get over this? (link)

Believe me on this one he's just as nervous and scared as you are if not more. He's worried about his own body and how he looks all over incuding penis size etc to be worried about whether you have stretch marks or not. It's the last thing he would ever think of worrying about.

Trust me, I know as that's the last thing I as a guy was thinking about the first time out. Guys his age are just happy to be having the experience and are not thinking about anything other than them disappointing you etc.

It won't matter at all to him about the stretch marks. People get them and it's fine and normal. He obviously wants to be with you and the relationship is solid. A couple of marks on your stomach are not going to have him heading for the hills.

What you should do is talk to him about sex and his expectations and yours and plan the event straight down to condoms, a backup birthcontrol method and talk about each of your worries, hang ups etc and laugh about it as sex is pretty funny when you think about it.

Mention the stretch marks to him (do it, seriously) and you'll see it's not an issue as he'll likely bring up stuff about his own body that he's insecure over. Not every girl looks like a Playbody model and he knows that. A couple of stretch marks is a non-issue.

Like I said, he's going to feel pretty overwhelmed himself and like most guys his age happy for the experience and that any girl would want to do this with him.

My boyfriend has fingered me nearly 15 times now and I've not once reached an orgasm yet. I get to the point where my heart is beating very fast, I have some small muscle spasms, and little things like that. However, I've never had a full out orgasm and I was wondering why I'm having a hard time reaching it? (link)

You have had an orgasm if your heart raced and it was combined by little ripples and muscle spasms. That's more or less a conventional orgasm. It can sometimes feel more intense than that depending on how your gentials are being stimulated with.

I'm reading between the lines but I have a feeling you're striving for something earth shattering here. It doesn't always happen like it does in certain movies etc. In real life the G-Spot orgasm is extremely elusive for women and usually only occurs if it's accidentally hit during intercourse, fingering, masturbation.

In that case the orgasm fluid squirts etc. and in some cases a litre of fluid is released. If you read this clincial/medical article with a medical book diagram on the G-Spot you might find yourself having more luck.

The key with any kind of orgasm is to relax, do what you like and is normal for you and stop putting pressure on yourself to have one as that will hinder not help you.

me and my friend sent this realyl close guy friend of ours pictures of our vag and asses and she sent boobs too.. just for pleasure and fun i dont find it wrong but w.e but anyways idk how someone else saw them yeah i was pissed but i got over it.. but then there was a rumer that i had a funny looking vag.. like why is that this is why im self consciens of my vagina beacuse i feeel like there is something that looks abnormal or something .. help please (link)

Vaginas all look different and come in different sizes, shapes and even the pigment of the skin on the genitals can look different too. There's nothing to feel embarassed about as not everyone's looks the same or like the medical diagrams. You're perfectly fine.

If i were you I would learn from this experience and never send any pictures of private parts etc. to people again as once they are out of your hands they can be sent to just about anyone.

As far as rumors go take it in stride and don't acknowledge it or show any reaction at all to guys or girls mentioning it. It will soon die out as people move on to easier targets to bully or make fun of.

If anyone approaches you about it just say "So, and so's pretty perverted their's no telling who's vagina that is or what magazine/video he took it from." Show a sense of humor about it too and like it doesn't at all bother you. But don't react.

There's no such thing as a weird or funny looking vagina. Know that and you should be able to deal with this just fine.

The other thing too that you need to know is that it's not legal at your age to send those kind of photos to someone else or recieve them in the case of someone accidentally opening them who was a child or another adult they would have a lot of explaining to do to law enforcement or others as having pictures of girl's gentials who are minors could be viewed as illegal.

i have 2 days left of school. and i need to tell this person, that i miss are friendship. we were on some bad terms, because of me. i feel weird going up to them and saying, hey i miss talking to you. what can i do? i need help. badly. (link)

Sending a person a note or an e-mail is a bad idea. It doesn't come across as looking sincere as anyone can write what someone else wants to hear and send it off. Also, it's a very bad idea incase this person is really mad and shows it around to others mocking you for writing it.

That's an extreme case but I have seen it happen many times before with people I knew. You need to follow the advice of the poster who said to pull the person aside, tell them you miss them and want to resolve the issue between you.

If the person won't consent to that or wants nothing more to do with you accept it, don't plead, beg etc. but move on as quite often they'll come back to a person and give them a chance to state their piece if you give them room to.

It's often shocking if you haven't spoken for so long for the other person to be getting an olive branch. Don't be surrised if they aren't sure how to react to you extending one.

But extend it you must and by approaching them in person. There's no other way to properly deal with this. It's people who cannot deal with turmoil and upset who turn to letters and e-mails, pleading etc to back out of a face-to-face talk which is the only thing that will solve issues like this.

Anyone can write a note or e-mail it's face-to-face sincerity and hashing things out that works. I hope it goes well for you but in the event it's over it's not your fault completely because you cannot control what happens and maybe they're scared of being hurt again.

hey im a guy,13, and when i touch the top of my penis, which is pink, it hurts like a bad tickle. its really bad when its dry. i cant rub my fingers on it. (link)
I cannot say with absolutely certainty what is causing this problem. However, if it's irritated, raw and hurt when touched or has scabs or anything flaking it's because of you not washing the area and masturbating frequently and letting semen dry which is acidic on it.
I know as I've seen it happen myself.

I would recommend more showers or at least cleaning yourself with soap and water afterward and see what happens. Don't have any sexual activity inclusive of masturbation until you get this checked out.

You should also read the following link

You should see your family doctor if my hunch doesn't pan out. If you are sexually active the problem could be related to that. If it's still an issue after a few days definitely see your doctor.

ok im 14/f and im in end of 8th grade..well the big problem is i met this 6th grader in the middle of school year and im not gonna lie his totally hot! The thing is uh is it ok to go out with a younger guy? Cause I think he likes me back because well today one of my good friends who never met this boy was walking with the guy passed by and said hi and what not and after he leftshes like ooooooooooooooh he likes you..i dont know why she would think that but i like it. Why do you think she said that? Was is because of his reactions or his expressision.I really hope this is true. Sorry its long but please help..
TL4PL (link)

The only trouble with dating a sixth grader is in whether or not he's as mature as you are. Girls mature much faster than boys and while you may be acting like a 14/15-year-old teenager he may be 12/13 but acting like a 9-year-old who still sleeps in Spider-Man underwear and plays with action figures.

As long as you are on par with your maturity levels and know you want a serious relationship a.k.a (a real one that lasts) and your parents are okay with this as are his then pursue it. Yes, you'll get flack from your peers but trust your own gut and your heart on what the right thing to do here is.

Your friend has sensed for one reason or another that he likes you. This is a good sign if it's true. Short of asking him out yourself or asking him if he feels the same try inviting him to a party, group dates or just to hang out. You'll have to ask your friend how she sensed all of this as nobody here could accurately tell you because we don't know her or how she thinks.

You can tell if he's in to you based on whether he refuses or has some lame excuse. If he comes along and you hit it off as friends first (which is always best to do first if you can) see what you both think of dating. If you want him you have to now go after him as he's likely just as shy as you are about making his intentions known.

alright, so my boyfriend & me have been going out for like a month or so. and today i realized i dont really like him that much. today was also the first time we kissed. but after we did,i just..didnt feel anything for him anymore. what should i do? if i break up with him everyone will be mad at me, if i dont i'll be stuck with him. i dont know what to do! i mean hes really shy and i think its the first time he kissed a girl and i dont want him too feel like i broke up with him because of that, its just i havent liked him that much for like these past 4 days & i dont know what to do,i feel really horrible. help?! (link)

It's never about whether people will be angry at you or not for a decision that was right for you. They aren't dating him but you are. Nobody else has the right to give you any grief for either dating, not dating or breaking up with someone else. It's you love life and not their's.

Instead of hurting this guy you need to end it now if you have no physical or emotional attachment and or attraction to him at all. Tell him that you really do like him but feel that you would be better off as close friends rather than lovers.

He might beupset at first but should understand. Let him know you are telling him this now so as not to cause him pain later. If it really matters point out that it has nothing to do with his shyness or experience with girls. Let him know you want to stay friends but just don't feel a relationship is working.

You have to tell the truth to him as hard as it may be for you do as it's the only right and correct way to do things. You don't want to hurt him nor do you both want to be miserable in a relationship that's not going anywhere fast.

when your cherry pops does it hurt? and this is a retarded question but does sex hurt? (link)

I've answered this question a lot lately but it's a legitimate question and I wanted you to get a solid answer that would help you understand what the hymen (a.k.a) cherry is and how it functions.

The first thing you need to know is that nothing pops. The hymen which is a mucous membrane that partially surrounds and protects the vaginal opening.

What happens is that the hymen gets stretched and in some cases a bit torn either through masturbation, tampon usage (which is the main reason these days) and of course sexual intercourse.

It can feel uncomfortable for some girls when it happens and can be accompanied by a bit of blood. However, many girls also exist who never noticed it happened until looking at their genitals some time after.

Here's a link that explains what the hymen does and why, how it gets stretched and how to know what it looks like. It's a Wikipedia article that is clinicial in the way its written, not graphic etc. and has a text-book only medical diagram. Just so the mods. know.

Does sex hurt? Well it shouldn't. It can however, be uncomfortable for girls because of the thrusting and friction if they are not properly lubricated before/during penetration and the actual act of intercourse.

Some girls produce the right amount of lubrication for sex naturally and for others an artifical lubricant that can be used with condoms will help ease discomfort. From my experience it does for the girl I was with in the past.

ok so there was only one time that i was able to ejaculate during an orgasm. now my boyfriend thinks that everytime we have sex i should be able to have a female ejaculation and i try really hard to but i end up peeing which is really embarassing and gross because i dont want to pee all over him. why can't i ejaculate anymore? (link)

Putting pressure on yourself and telling yourself you must have an orgasm to please somebody else won't help you have one at all. It has the opposite effect. Orgasms like the one you hope to experience again just occur naturally.

What happened last time is that he hit your G-Spot and that brought forth the fluid you squirted. This kind of orgasm is very elusive for women as it's not easy to hit the G-Spot through sex or masturbation even.

You need to tell him that and both of you need to read this article about the G-Spot, how that kind of orgasm happens, etc etc. and what it takes to experience it and tell him to stop putting pressure on you because it's not something you can just do on demand or at the drop of a hat. is the article. Usually, it can only be stimulated if stroked or hit during intercourse.

I currlently have dial up...which is REALLY slow, I want to go to DSL, but I do not know what is best for me. I do a lot of surfing on the net, and download music, whats best for me? (link)

'Nough said as far I'm concerned for American Internet Services. If in Canada Sympatico is the best Internet service going for High Speed and their customer service is second to none. 310-Surf is their number in Canada for all area codes.

Avoid getting high-speed Internet from the cable companies as its always subpar and conks out especially on Rogers in Canada and Comcast in Canada.

If you call these services up and explain exactly what you want to do they'll offer you a variety of options and prices and tailor things to what you and your family needs.

I recommend packages that are Ultra or top of the line most expensive in what they provides as those packages let you do everything and give you 10 or so e-mail addresses for everyone.

I've read computer hackers feel that Sympatico in Canada and Verizon in the U.S. are the most secure Internet services out there and difficult to hack so you're better off there on those from my point of view.

What exactly does an orgasm consist of (or what is it defined as) for girls? I know I have felt so much pleasure that I shaked uncontrolablly for a few seconds, but nothing has ever "squirted" out. Please help me clear this up. Thank you! (link)

Looks like you have had an orgasm based on you shaking, feeling pleasure, mucles and body tightening and then releasing (usually in ripples). As far as squirting it doesn't happen a lot or to a lot of women.

Usually, it only occures if the G-spot has been found and hit during intercourse or masturbation. What you should see though is the normal lubcribation present in sex or masturbation.

sorry if this isnt in the right category but..
i get acne often, not alot of it just maybe two big zits or something.

what really really works on acne?
and what makes acne clear up overnight? or as quick as possible?
please lemmi no? thanks a bunch =] (link)

Acne usually doesn't clear up overnight but it can be dealt with swiftly if you see your family doctor who will assess how bad they think it is based on how you look now and on the history you give them about your problem.

I don't know if family doctors can prescribe medicated creams for acne or if only the dermatologist they refer you to can in the U.S. as I'm not from there.

You see, a lot of acne problems cannot be handled properly without seeing a doctor that can give you a prescription with medicine in it that actually eats away at the zits and prevents them from ever returning. Anything you would buy off of the TV or store shelves cannot and does not contain medication. I

It's only good if you have a few little pimples and not a bigger issue or one where they constantly come back no matter what or won't for that matter disappear because they lack the strength and potency that is several times higher than that of any supermarket product.

My advice, see your family doctor and get referred to a dermatologist who can give you a medicated cream that practically burns them off. I've done this before and it took a week or two for them to leave and then you keep using it as a preventitive measue until the doctor tells you not to.

For little teeny pimples use the supermarket products Oxy, Clearasil etc but for a larger problem see a dermatologist.

theres this girl and i dont like her like a girl friend or anything but every time were together all we do is sexual things... so you think its bad to do this we have never screwed and wont but we just play around do you think i should stop or do you even think it matters? (link)

As long as she knows you aren't in a relationship together nor will be you are fine. It would be best if you did start a relationship as obviously there is a sexual attraction or you wouldn't be doing this every time you hang out.

Make sure she knows it's just a friends and beefits deal and nothing else so she never gets hurt. Fooling around is fine as long as you both establish how far this will go and where it cannot get to.

my freinds 6 year old daughter started having her period. The doc said it might be a one time thing ... are there any ways this can hurt her or cause any damage to her? What if it isn't a one time thing? Are there any ways we can help her out? (link)

It's a medical condition that is called precocious puberty. There is a way for the doctor to slow it down a little but not stop early puberty completely from happening to your friend's daughter.

I'm not sure of all the reasons why it occurs because it's really, really complicated but here's an article for starters that may help.

I'm sure if you punch in the term precocious puberty into Google that you'll find tons of information and even support groups with other parents helping eachother as they definitely exist. There are even specialists out there exclusively for treating this condition.

What does it mean when someone says " he went down on me" (link)

It means a guy gave a female oral sex. He went to her down stairs region etc. to do it hence the slang term.

just turned 13/f. ok i live with my dad and its very hard to talk about girl stuff
plus i can't go to ANYONE else. well i really want a push up bra. not just for the effect, but also because right now the bra i'm using right now my nipple points out and its disgusting because you can see it throught my shirt.i cant go get one because there is NO ONE tht can take me. what do i do to cover it up, and i havn't started my period yet either.
plz help me (link)

Believe me your father is just as intimidated about this and you going through puberty as you are if not more so. He knows sooner or later that you are going to need a bra and your period will start later and he'll have to help buy tampons etc.

You both have to get through you going through puberty relatively unscathed. Here's what to do: tell your father that you need money to purchase a few female things and rather than us both being uncomfortable drop me off at the mall and let me do it and then pick me up afterwards.

Tell him you know exactly what you are looking for and where to find it. Go talk to a female cashier in the sales department and tell her what you need in a manner where you cannot be overheard and let her direct you to a bra that is suited for you.

Like the other posters said you don't need a push up bra here just something that isn't see through and where the nipple doesn't protrude or have an outline.

If your dad asks what it is you need just casually say "oh it's just a bra." and leave it at that as he's going to be just as red-faced as you and will hand you all the money you want to go buy one as long as he's not needed to be there. Ideally, he's your father and should be there but this is really a department for mom or an aunt.

The other cool thing you could do if you have a best-friend you trust is talk to her mother privately and explain your problem and ask if she will take you and your friend to get them as you would be mortified if your dad came.

She could then explain to your father later that you asked for her to help because she's a woman. If you have grandparents still living they can help as can an aunt or trusted adult. I know how you must feel but there's a million or more girls who went through this before you. You aren't alone by any means.

ugh, i just got my hair cut, and i absolutely hate it. its just above my shoulder, and it's much too short. any suggestions to make it grow faster??

If I were you I would ask your friends about who does their hair for the future. While I haven't seen your hair there's a chance that a more skiled hair-stylist can look at it and go "Hey, I can fix that and make it look good."

You ought to get a referral from a friend for a great stylist and get their opinion on whether or not they can actually do something to fix it or even it out so it's at least acceptable.

That's my recommendation having been there where one barber screwed up my hair two days before a job interview and a high priced salon fixed it and made me look like $ 1 Million

ok i'm about to turn 13 and people keep asking me what i want for my bday. all i can think of iz money and gift cards. i dont want any clothes either. so can somebody tell me any gifts a girl my age would like?
thank you (link)

There really is nothing wrong with asking for gift cards to your favorite stores rather than buy clothes. Actually, it makes a ton of sense not to want new clothes right now.

Why? you're still growing of course at quite rapidly at age 12 or 13. You likely haven't hit a large growth spurt yet but you willshortly. If you got clothes and or shoes right now there's no telling whether or not they would fit in 2-3 months.

So, getting clothes and shoes now is pretty foolish when you think about it. Tell your mother this as a reason for asking for gift cards or spending money instead.

As far as telling you what kid of things a girl your age should ask for as a gift it's very difficult to do so because I don't know you or what interests you and you'll find a lot of people who will also answer your question will have trouble here too. Each girl is different.

What I might recommend for one girl will not meet your interests. that won't stop me from trying. You might want to have a mother/daughter day at a spa and have facials, pedicures etc, make-up and hair done and then go some place special with her as turning 13 is a right of passage.

You might also like your own make-up kit, bubble bath, perfume, stuff from the Body Shop or to be given money to makeover your room. i'm sure there must be something deep down that you've always waned but never got. Now is a good time to ask again for it.

15 f
i used to sing so nice. now when i try to do high notes i cant and i crack and i sound so horrible!. i dont know what to do. how can i get better? what can i drink at home so i can get bettter? or what excersises. but i would really really appreciate the things i can drink or eat at home that ould make my voice better. anything is greatly appreciated though. thanks so much! (link)

Drink lots of water especially if trying to sing a-cappella. Your throat needs to be always lubricated when you go to sing.

The other thing too is that everyone has a range of notes they can hit and those they cannot easily. it could be that the part is out of your range and it needs to re-arranged and distributed properly if it's a group piece to suit your voice.

I would also recommend a voice coach so they can teach you techiques on how to hit certain notes and not hack your voice crack.

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