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I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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I have always wanted to be an actress or singer. Im not that good at singing but im very very good at acting, im not trying to sound conceited but i am and i have been told that many times before.

Lately i want it so bad i can taste it. Its amazing. The only problem is, I have no idea how to get into acting or how to start out. My mom doesnt really like the buisness because of how some of them end up.

So my main question is:
Should I try? How should I start out? Should I wait till im 18 & on my own ? [[im 13 now]] (link)
I got your feedback but cannot reply anywhere else than here. Shoot me an inbox e-mail and i'll be happy to provide more info on your question and agents in general.

What you should do is look on the SAG (Screen Actor's Guild of America) or ACTRA site in Canada under reputable agents. What you want to do is get an agent called "Background Talent Agent" and book an appointment.

This agent will get you on to film and TV show sets in the closest metropolitan city nearest you. After doing a few days of shooting that often last 17 hours per day you'll learn if you really want to be in this business. This agent will get you work as an extra consistently.

Right now though you have credits and a great singing voice you won't be able to get a principal agent to represent you no matter how good you are because you don't have a well-known name and are a bit of a risk.

You might be able to get an agent that handles only kids/teens and can find them work. A kids/teens agent and a background agent are the only ones who can charge a yearly fee because extras often bail as do kids when they see this is work and usually 14-17 hour shoots.

Scams include putting your picture on the net for casting directors/directors (these people never cast that way), paying for lessons, photos etc. Never go to anyone advertised in a phone book or newspaper either as REAL agents never advertise and can only be found listed on the sites I told you about above.

When it comes to a background agent or any agent listen to see if the phone is ringing left and right as this tells you whether they are busy (which they should be all the time) or not. You also need to ask how many people they represent as you want around 200-400 but also want to make sure they don't have an unmanageble amount because you won't get enough work.

at my school we have a time during lunch that when you finish, you can go outside. i hang out with a large group of my friends, but mostly with a mini-group of people. this group is called "jonathans posse". jonathan is mine and 3 other friends best friend. i love them dearly, but they act so bitchy to me. during lunch they'll be having a conversation while i sit there with them and if i say something, one will glare at me and tell me to mind my own business. these people are my best friends, remember. on the other hand, if one of us has a party, they'll act as nice and pleasant as like berries and cream. one friend actually semi-yelled at me that no one liked me and to go away, until jonathan stared at her and said "shes my friend." (awkward silence for like 30 sec.) i've become clingy to jon, but i still want to keep my friends for fear of losing everyone else with them. any one know how to earn my "friend's" respect?

THANKS (link)

The only excuse for any of them telling you to mind your own business is if you interrupted their conversation or gave advice on something personal when you weren't asked to or part of the conversation.

If they just rudely snapped at you during a normal conversation and your turn to try and speak than we have a problem. The next time any of them treat you this way speak up and let your voice be heard.
Tell them "I'm sick of you treating me like shit. I Have every right to talk or voice my opinion when I want and how dare you tell me to shut up."

Tell them also "I'm tired of you acting all nice when its time to be invited to my party and snarly the next. Either you start respecting me or you leave me alone."

They're walking all over you and not respecting you because you are letting them away with this and not saying anything. You don't need to earn their respect at all as they aren't your real friends and in a few years you'll not even know them.

You need to find people who are better than this as friends but let these little snots know they cannot walk all over you when they feel like it.

As far as Jonathan goes be his friend, get close to him and forget about these girls as they're of no concern to you in the long run.

They have no influence on people or power to change who your real friends are and you cannot lose friends because of them. People who are your real friends and interested in you as friendship material will have made up their mind about you already or won't be influenced by a few catty brats.

Assert yourself and lay into them the next time this happens and confront them about their behavior. if you do this in front of other people it will make them think and make them embarassed about how they have been acting.

Maybe this will resolve your situation completely but at the very least it will show Jonathan and everyone else that you cannot push this girl around.

Ok, I'm 14/f...yeah, say I'm to young, I don't care...but when I give my bf a blowjob, like jaw locks up. and it hurts on the joints of my jaw...and i can't open my mouth very much because it hurts so bad. and he's....pretty...big...and i think that's the problem, and since i can't shrink his dick, is there anything i can do to loosen up my jaw?

Oh, and please don't go off telling me i'm a slut and so on, i'm not a virgin and i haven't been for a while, and if that bothers the x at the top. (link)

Extra info: the glans is the proper medical term for the head/tip of the penis or top part not the shaft.

You mentioned his size and that it's the problem. It's no wonder you are having lock jaw or even gagging by hitting the gag reflex or feeling sore and unable to open your mouth. You're taking far too much of his penis inside of your mouth at once.

Focus only on the glans (top part) and you should be okay provided you don't try to take his entire penis into your mouth which it sounds like you are doing here.

As far as loosining your jaw I don't have any advice there but once you stop taking all of his penis into your mouth and only focusing on the top part of his penis you'll be okay.

Beyond that, I cannot offer more advice as it would border on how-to which for obvious reasons is against the rules and causes banishment both for the person who wanted the advice and for the advice giver. This should give you a general idea of why things hurt and what you're doing wrong.

Hey, I just realized I like my best friend Alex. I have known her since we were in jr. high. But I don't know how to tell her I love her. Thanks for any help.



Tell her that you've been friends for years and value that friendship. Point out to her that friends should be able to tell another friend anything without losing the friendship.

Make her promise not to get annoyed with you no matter what you might say before hand. Tell her you like her and was hoping to start a relationship but didn't want to wreck your friendship. She should be okay with this admission even if she doesn't want to pursue one.

At least you'll know where you stand. Best-friends whether male or female should be able to handle this kind of thing and keep on being friends regardless of whether they end up in a relationship. Either way, it will make your bond stronger and perhaps closer.

I went to a slumber party the other night and one of my friends there "G" started talking about sex. It made me really uncomferable since I don't know anything about sex. I'm kinda creeped about sex. I mean, i'm only 13, but my friends think it's weird that i don't even no what masterbating is. The next day my other friend there came up to me and told me my otehr friends were making fun of me cuz I didn't know what masterbading or anything about sex was. I feel really emmbarressed and creeped out. My parents never really have time to talk about... sex and stuff. and my paretns say i'm too immature to talk about stuff like that. Sure, when someone says don't kick those balls at the wall, i start laughing. I mean it sounds funny, but i'm confused. I need advice fast! (link)

Your parents mean well by trying to shelter you from things you mat not be ready for but by age 13 you need to know the basics about sex (the mechanics), information about birthcontrol, menstruation, pregnancy, sexual orientation, masturbation etc. etc.

It's their job to ensure you know all of this and to allow you to ask any question you want or need to about sex and not shrug it off as "you're too immature."

They aren't helping you any here by doing that. while they may not have a lot of time parents need to stop and make sure their kids get solid sex education and not rely on the schools to do it and teach values.

I think you need to learn on your own what your friends are talking about. There are two excellent books for teen readers that explains sex, puberty, sexuality etc. in a frank manner, non-graphic to readers so they get this crucial information. The books are What's Happening to my Body for Girls and for Boys and both are by Lynda Madaras. Start there.

As for your friends making fun of you just shrug it off and joke about it like this "My parents never got around to telling me that I guess." You could try talking to your friend privately about this kind of thing however, kids who talk to eachother about this stuff may not have all the facts.

Stick to those books. You can either buy them or get them from the library. If you discreetly ask for books on human sexuality for you age group at a bookstore or library they'll help you out. your school library might even have these two books.

I'm just wondering how sensitive a girl's cervix usually is. Mine is extremely sensitive and I've never really noticed it as a problem but my boyfriend is "worried". If my tampon touches it as I'm putting it in, it's incredibly uncomfortable. It doesn't hurt, but it's not a good feeling either. It's a problem during intercourse. If my boyfriend just barely hits it, it hurts like no other. He doesn't have to hit it hard or anything, just a tap if he goes in a little too deep and I'd be in unbearable pain for a few seconds. I haven't talked to my gyno about it seeing as how I won't see her for another 3 months or so. I thought I'd ask on here in case there's anyone with experience. Thanks :) (link)

I don't know if you will find others here who are experienced or experiencing the same situation you are. Having said that, I read your last line about not going to see your gyno for 3 months or so. I wouldn't wait until then.

The best advice anyone could give you right now is to call your gyno's office in the morning and tell them that you have an appointment scheduled for 3 months from now but have a problem that needs to be looked at now and not later.

Tell them about the unbearable pain when a tampon touches your cervix or your boyfriend hits it during sex. It's something that sounds incredibly unusual (likely non threatening) that you need to have checked out now rather than later when it could be worse.

Just call the office and tell the receptionist what you are dealing with and get your appointment bumped up. Although receptionists are not doctors maybe she can just grab your doctor for a moment to speak with you or tell you what it is.

ok this sounds really weird but, what are a guys "balls?" Like I know that they have the actually penis and stuff but ya. And also, when you give a hand job, do you play with the guys balls too? I'm kinda inexperienced.

Thanks so much. (link)

Balls refers to testicals. They sit behind his penis in the wrinkly sack that is also known as his scrotum.

When it comes to your second question you should talk to your boyfriend before attempting a HJ and tell him you are inexperienced and ask him to tell you exactly what he likes and doesn't for that matter.

He's the expert on his penis and male anatomy and you being a girl cannot realistically be expected what to do the first time or few times without him telling you. Don't be shy to ask him as it's the best way to avoid an awkward or embarassing moment if you don't

As far as your third question about whether guys like if you play with a certain area it depends on the guy as some will like it and others may not finding it too intense, tickles and or just doesn't do anything for them. Others may climax a lot faster because of it.

Again, ask him what he likes as you really cannot go wrong in learning from him what he likes. He's the expert on his penis, how it works and how it responds to certain stimulation. As long as you talk to him about this you'll be fine.

I've never had a REAL boyfriend before. not that I don't want one, just not interested in anyone. but I've never masturbated before. I kind of think it's gross & don't like to touch myself down there. I'm also afriad of having sex. since it's never been on my mind since I've never had a real boyfriend. I'm afraid it'll hurt & I'll be bad at it, etc.
Is it weird not to have any desire to have sex or masturbate at all? I like kissing.. but just I don't know since I haven't had boyfriends to do that stuff with. (link)

It's not weird at all to not masturbate for whatever reason. many people don't because of cultural, religious or other reasons including the fact that the idea of it or the actual act of it does nothing at all for them sexually or otherwise.

It is not however, gross, dirty, shameful etc to touch your own genitals for your own pleasure. I'm sure you know but I'll reiterate it for other readers that it's normal if you do and normal if you don't. The statistics I was told in health class quite a few years back was that 70% of females do and 80-90% of males do.

The number for females may in fact be higher as girls are more discreet about it than guys are. regardless, you're normal if you do and normal if you don't or if it does nothing for you.

I just wanted to reiterate that it's not gross, dirty etc and it's okay if you don't want to do it for any reason you have in your mind. For some people the idea and or masturbation itself does nothing for them.

When it comes to having sex for the first time you need talk to your partner before hand and go over your fears, expectations etc and get a backup method of birthcontrol as you cannot always count on condoms not breaking etc.

If your partner turns out to be more experienced than you are have them take their time and walk you through the experience and talk to you during it to see that you're okay.

Does it hurt? For females it can but it depends on the individual girl. Usually, there is discomfort from thrusting and friction from it as well. You need to be properly lubricated to make penetration and intercourse easier and reduce discomfort. That's why foreplay is important first.

If your vagina doesn't secrete enough lubrication naturally for penetration and intercourse buying a tube of an artificial lubricant you can use with condoms will help.

Don't worry if you aren't thinking about boys, masturbation or sex. You're a normal 15-year-old. Don't worry that you don't have a boyfriend right now either.

You aren't missing out as a lot of boys your age are really immature at this stage. In a few years you'll find the right partner who is mature etc. and worthy of being physically intimate with.

As long as you communicate with your partner and research about sex and sexuality and discuss positions, what you will and won't do and boundaries you should be fine. The more you research about it and learn those things the more educated and ready you will be and the smoother it will go.

i wonder why teen people don't publish anymore magazines!, what happened to the company? i loved teen people! (link)

The magazine ceased publication a few months ago and there will not be any more issues produced. It wasn't making the kind of money the publisher hoped. This is what happened when I tried to subscribe when they offered it free as part of a promotion with Bring It On: All or Nothing several months ago.

They sent out refund cheques in full for everyone who had a paid subcription or tried to redeem the coupon in that DVD for the magazine.

The company is Time-Warner and nothing has happened to them at all as their other magazines are flourishing but this one was not a financial success and didn't attract the readership they wanted to keep it going each month.

I am 23 and female. I dated a guy for 5 years and I found out that he cheated on me. Now I want to say that the cheating was a lot. It was around 10 girls. He slept with 5 of them, and the one was my best friend. Now with that said I also want to say that we were young when we dated, and he wasn't even 21 yet. Ok so I obviously broke up with him, and when I did the tables turned and he was depressed. He could not deal with the break-up and since then he has not been the same. It is going on 2 years since this happened. I did not date anyone seriosly for a 1 1/2 of that time. I could not find anyone I really wanted to date. I was going to go back to him, because I felt like there was no one else for me. Well I ended up meeting someone right before I was going to go back to him. This guy is great he does so much for me in every way possible. He is just a great guy. I love him very much and everything about him. The problem is it still hurts to think of my ex. I feel guilty because I know he is not ok, and that I need to help him and make him feel better. I am so confused lately I just can't get myself to think straight. Anyway I want to know if this is normal and I need to continue on with my life, or if I should not ignore the feelings for my ex that I still might have? (link)

Let me put this in perspective for you. Did your ex-boyfriend ever feel guilty about cheating on you repeatedly with 10 different women including your so-called best-friend? Why should you feel guilty for breaking up with him?

He caused this to happen to himself and should have thought about what his actions would later get him before he slept with those people. While he may not be the same since he lost you it's not your fault and you shouldn't feel guilt or any need to get back with him. You would be absolutely foolish to.

Move on with your current boyfriend who treats you wonderfully and don't look back. You ex-boyfriend is a big-boy and will learn a lot from this so that he treats the next girl that comes along with respect and stops messing around. However, he sounds like a serial cheater that will never stop.

You're doing the right thing by being seperate from him. The reason it hurts to be away from him is because you had a connection and it's always hard to move on. You also wanted it to work badly.

Over time you'll put him behind you and whenever you think of him negatively or positively just remember "That's just a memory from the past that I cannot change and I'm with X now and totally happy."

It's all about time really as there obviously hasn't been enough time since the breakup to allow yourself to move on and not look to revisit the past. Over time these feelings of guilt which you shouldn't be having considering the circumstances will wear away and you'll realize he can take care of himself and you're better off with the new relationship.

I don't understand why you would tell someone that when you masturbate with something it should have a condom on it. It's not like the thing you masturbate with is going to get you pregnant. I get that it has to be clean and all, but a condom? Come on!

I guess I just wanted to hear your reasoning behind that. (link)

There are several good reasons to put a condom on a sex toy or house-hold item. The first being if you are using it vaginally and or around or in the anal cavity or if you are using on yourself and then a partner or borrowing it from somebody else or if the object is a house hold item the person is using that needs to stay clean for it's original use or be tossed afterward.

hi im 13 and i have masturbated about 10 time with back of pens cucumbers and random things in the house which you shouldnt masturebate with im scared about my period i turn 14 in 3 weeks will this affect my period coming im scared about if i damaged something i have stopped masturebating now please help im really scared thank you (link)

The best thing you can do from here on out is to make sure any object you use is washed, has a condom on it, and is not jagged, can break, can cause tears or hurt you. If it's not designed to be used on your genitals or inside one's vagina don't use it.

You haven't damaged yourself or done anything wrong. This is quite common. Masturbation and periods have nothing at all in common with eachother. Your masturbation habits cannot stop or delay periods or make it so they won't come at all.

You're fine, this is natural, normal, healthy etc but be sure if you continue using objects especially household ones that they are clean, not jagged, don't have any rough areas, cannot cause tears or hurt you. It's best that they are rounded and not something that can get stuck or is hard to remove.

The first day of summer starts Wednesday for where I live, and my boyfriend and I are hanging out that day. I think it would be cool if we had sex for the first time (for both of us) that day, kind of as a first day of summer first time celebration, since we've been together since last summer. We've talked about it before but we decided to wait till we're ready, but I'm not really sure how to bring it up again, what should I say? Do you think he'll be willing? Any advice will be appriciated. Thanks! (link)

If you are 100% positive you are ready and want to do this all you need to do is sit down and talk with again. See how he feels about it and go from there. You really need to plan things out and have condoms as well as a backup birthcontrol method too.

If you're really ready you might want to postpone it a bit until you have the right birthcontrol device such as pills or the new NuvaRing device as a backup plan as you really do need that. Talk about what you both are expecting, your fears, hangups etc and then if you both feel ready you'll be fine. You just have to tell him "You know I've been thinking maybe it's time we talked again about our plans for sex" and go from there.

first of all we've been in a relationship for almost a year now. well, my boyfriend has already decided he doesn't want to attend the end of the year dance.
i kinda wanna go, but i dont want to force him to go either. he told me if i wanted him to go with me he would. but the stupid dance thing is 20$ and i dont want to make him go just because i want too. haha if i went by myself, i'd feel bad if i danced with another boy but yeah blah. or i could hang out with the boyfriend at night and thats how it would go. blah idk any opinons on this little situation haha? thanks for readingg :) (link)

Tell him why you really want to go and ask him to go with you. You need to use the "we all do things we don't want to do for someone else" line and play it to the hilt and use past instances where you went somewhere or did several things with or for him you didn't want to do just to make him happen.

Tell him it's a two way street and only one evening of his time and that you enjoy dancing with him. Maybe tell him if he behaves and goes with you that you'll make him a deal that you'll do something with him that he likes doing and has interest in that you don't to even the score.

I doubt you would have a good time going to the dance alone but if he won't budge you ought to go rather than sit out over him. You can always dance with your friends. As far as other guys go don't. Your boyfriend will find out and regardless of his whole stance on not going you'll get a hell of a lot of grief and jelousy you don't need.

So, you need to play the "I do stuff for you I don't want to do" and remember when i did X and Y and Z for you recently?" More or less it's a guilt trip but you need to wake him up to the fact that he has to reciprocate sometimes or you'll stop going places or doing anything you don't want to do.

Okay I'm 5/f. I'm a virgin. I've been having this watery discharge for a longggggggg time. Like three years. It's basically just water like pouring out of me and it smells really bad...And I do mean pouring. My whole underwear is like soaked at the end of the day...I've talked to my mom about it, but she basically blows it off. Sometimes it's like chunks of goo...ha ew. But yeh I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wear a pad and it even goes through that! HELP please. What is this?! (link)

Judging from the article I'm linking you to about discharge a clear and watery discharge sounds normal and they say it occurs at different points in your cycle. However, you mentioned it smells very, very bad. That's not normal and could be signs of an infection of some kind.

Like the person before me said you really need to book an appointment with a gynaecologist and let them examine you and determine what you need to do. The problem won't get any better until you do and could become worse.

Here's the article link


okay well my dream job is to be a racecar driver. is there any sports or things to do tht involves racecar driving or something? i want to practice and get in races and stuff, any suggestions? thnx. (link)

Most professional Indycar, Nascar, F1 and other racing series drivers all started with Go-Kart racing. I'm not talking the putt-putt Go-Karts families go on but the ones that go at least 80-100 KM (I'm not American so you'll have to convert this to miles) and race every Friday-Sunday in series for beginning, advanced drivers based on age and skill set.

It's very expensive because you need your own cart, helmet, suit, gloves, racing liscence and have to pay entry fees each week. There are some Go-Kart clubs that offer an arrive and drive program where they provide everything except the helmet, suit and gloves.

I'm sure if you dig hard on the Internet you'll find something. It would also be good if you ran daily, used a bicycle each day and do a wide variety of sports and exercising and eat lean and sensibly.

As you get older and liscensed to drive you can actually take professional racing instruction from a school such as the Skip Barber Racing School or others like it as every racecar driver has professional training from a racing school or program before they can ever drive in the major legaue series.

They also have to pass several levels of tests in these programs to get the liscences they need to drive at a certain level. I know this as FACT having been into racing and knowing a few Indycar drivers and well-known people in carting.

If you really want to get into it you have to get into Go-Karting as that's where everyone starts adnd they start young between the ages of 8-14 these days as a lot of people who are extremely fortunate enough to make it start racing in their late teens to early 20s professionally.

well,i have this problem that im mad shy and its ruining everything.I need help overcoming it and how do you start by making freinds with someone?I have alot of freinds but like,in the beginning of theschool year,how do I start it the freindship!?HOW DO I OVERCOME SHYNESS!!i need help on this,ive been in situations where im with even my own family and they all talk and i just sit there,smile and look pretty lol HELP! (link)

What helps sometimes is to think of the person you want to be friends with or talk to as if they were a close family member like your mom or dad or brother or sister and just talk to them like you would your family members. It's no different at all.

When you are talking to someone new visualize the person as needing to hear what you have to say and pretend that their life or whatever hinges on your every word. That's another good technique.

I also like to look people directly in the eyes and talk to them and that goes easier. You also have to know that there is nothing to fear nobody will attack you, tell you to shut up or worse for you just talking to them and that everyone needs friends.

Go in thinking that you're likeable, loveable, friendly and have all the qualities people need in a friend and a whole lot more and that they've been dying to meet someone like yourself. The only difference between you and them is that they believe this about themselves and you don't. Once you start believing it it's second nature and your guard goes down.

The situation with your family is a great one. It allows you to practice the techniques I told you about above. pay attention to what they talk about and just jump in with them. They won't judge you and you'll get used to talking to other people.

Ask for help practicing normal conversation with others. They'll give it to you and tell you what you can do to improve. I would also talk to your guidance counselor and mention your fears and shyness with others and work on social skills, coping skills and other ways to make friends, keep 'em etc as they definitely have a lot of tips.

Instead of sitting looking pretty and smiling force yourself to jump in there and talk. If you keep doing it and you see your own family responding positively to you you'll be able to do it everywhere. You don't have any less skills or likability than anyone else.

You'll thrive--but first you must believe in yourself to sell yourself to others. These tips should help you as it's from my own experience. I wouldn't dream of telling anyone something if I didn't experience it myself.

Ok well you know how vagina is supposed to look like? (I can't find oen of those sketches on the internet right now..)

Well I'm 13 and i got my period 3 years ago and i'm thinking of wearing a tampon but i tried looking for it and even looked at it with the mirror but it's closed and there's no huge hole!

Looks very similar to this picture I found:

What do i do?

Is that person's vagina there in the picture? If so, where? Can you circle it or something for me with paint so i know?

If you tell me clearly that'll work too. (link)

The link you gave us just doesn't work so we cannot help with the picture. However, there is another reason you may be having a hard time locating the vaginal opening. Your hymen sounds like it's still intact and not stretched. It partially protects the vaginal opening and around it.

You should have a look at this article and medical diagram as it clearly shows where the opening is and how it looks if your hymen is intact still which it sounds like.

when i perform oral sex on my boyfriend, what can i do to make him cum faster or make it better for him. usually it takes a while and im not sure if im doing something wrong. and once he does cum what can i do so that it doesnt make a mess everywhere without having to swallow? (link)

You really need to talk to him before and stop during to find out what he likes the most and follow his directions the first time so you can figure out the pattern to perform that gets him to climax quicker. He knows male genitals better than you do and what he responds to. Ask him to guide you next time.

Also, sometimes because a guy is nervous, embarassed or stressed etc. about this it takes him longer to climax or he may not climax at alll. It can be a psychological thing and a hang up.

There's two thing you can do so as not to swallow or to have to clean up the byproduct of his orgasm. You can get flavored condoms and make him wear one (it won't affect his pleasure even if he says it will) or you can ask him to tap you when he's close to ejaculating so that you can have a rag, a wet cloth or kleenex to catch it in.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now. We have done everything sexual except anal sex. He has always wanted to try it but from my friends experiences I'd rather not. Recently I have been thinking about it and i kind of wanted to try it but I don't know how bad it will hurt. Can anyone share there experiences or thoughts to help me decide? (link)

If you are not comfortable with doing it don't do it and tell him why and that it won't change. Guys tend to like this form of sex because the spinchter muscle clamps down on their penis and it's really tight as opposed to a vagina or so I hear a lot.

It can hurt very badly and most people have painful experiences with it. It's high risk sexual behavior and you have a higher increase for STDS including AIDS. The biggest problem is that the anus was meant for one purpose only and not for sex.

The walls of your anus if they aren't paper thin are pretty damn close and so very easy to tear especially if he's vigorous during thrusting or penetration . You need condoms for sure and lots of artificial lubrication for this and a patient partner who knows that the words no, stop, it hurts etc. means to stop right then.

If it were me, I wouldn't do it at all. However, it's your choice to make here but if you feel grossed out by it or fearful or not wanting to do it don't. You owe him absolutely nothing. He's a big boy and can deal with being told no. It's also your body and your anus that can get hurt here and not his.

Here's an article that answers a lot of your questions and tells you about the things you are susceptible to.

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