I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Last Update: June 1, 2015
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Okay , me and my boyfriend love eachother sooo much and we're totally commited.Problem is , my parents are spliting up and I have to move to Newfoundland [I live in Ontario now] and we're going to try to stay together.I will be coming to Ontario 1-3 times a year and I'll see him everytime.Okay so also , I'm 13 and he's gonna be 15 in January.He's not a virgin [he did it 1 time that's it] and I am a virgin but I am thinking about doing something like that...please if you're going to lecture me give me an answer to.I want to give him something soo sentimental , but I don't have anymoney.AND if I am going to give him my viginity then it will be cuz I was thinking about it anyways , not just cuz I'm leaving !! THANKSS IN ADVANCE !!!!!!|
When it comes to sex you have to think about a few important things. First of all you can get pregnant. If you got pregnant at 13 what would you, this boy and your family do?
You don't have the education or financial resources or the maturity of someone twice your age to handle that yet. Condoms are not 100% fool-proof either. If you had sex you would need them plus another form of birthcontrol to be safe.
Sex is also about a lasting emotional connection with your partner and is more than a physical act. In the end you want to have it with someone that shares this connection with you and will for some time.
If you had sex with this boy and then moved to another province only seeing him a maximum of three times per year what is to say he wouldn't forget you after another girl comes into his life? You really have to ask yourself is all this worth it?
Sex can wait until you are mentally and physically ready for it later on in life. Don't rush into doing it as you might regret doing it so young and believe me 13 is very young for this when you should have waited to be older and with someone else like your husband or committed partner.
I think what you ought to do is have a farewell dinner (candelit) exchange bracelets with one another or something to that affect and have a romantic evening without the sex and let eachother know how much you meant to eachother.
That should be sentimental enough especially if you do all the cooking and arranging and make it a surprise. You don't need a lot nor any money to do that.
However, if you do decide to have sex be sure to be protected and understand the consequences and accept them before proceeding but yes 13 is in my opinion too young for this.
There's a difference in mentality and maturity between a 15-year-old and a 13-year-old so the fact he was ready at that age may not necessairly mean you are yet. Take things slow as there's lots of time to have sex.
Perhaps if you wait a little longer, mature and you return to Ontario in the future you might be more ready for this than you appear now. I would wait.
I got into a major fight with one of my friends and then all her friends turned againest me, and they were my friends to. I really like them and have said sorry. One of her friends have always hated me to. How can i make them like me, if i don't make up then I know there will be drama next year. How can i stop all this drama and resolve things? (link)
You cannot make them like you as that is always a decision they or anyone makes alone. You can however, stop the drama. You have to stop letting what they say or do bother you. They want a reaction and to see they've got to you.
Don't give them one or anything new they can use to start shit. Ignore them and go about your normal business. If they talk to you be cordial but don't hang around. Once they see that you don't give a shit about what they think or have to say about you and that you aren't giving them more ammunition they'll move on.
Nobody can turn other people against someone else. Those people must have been incredibly weak and followers in order to do what this other person says. They have a mind--they didn't opt to use it and make a choice not to partake knowing this is wrong.
None of these people ever were your friends in the first place. Nothing was ever solid with them even though you might thinks so. As hard as it is don't waste your time with them and move on to people who genuinely like you. Once you do it these bozos will stop bothering you as they have no real cause to continue bullying you then.
okay so basically i like this boy named matt. we always cuddle and hold hands when we're at our friends house but the only problem is theres another girl.. he has been basically in love with this girl kelly for the longest time. matt & i live in new jersey and kelly lives six hours away in a different state. he said he's seen her 5 times in the past 3 years..so nobody really thinks it could work but they both like each other. my best friend megan said he talks & acts different around lauren & i as opposed to other girls so how do i get him to like me more than only a bestfriend? are there suddle things to do? any advice would helpp =) (link)
You cannot make anyone like you more than they like someone else. All you can do is let them know how you feel about them and leave it in their court.
Obviously, cuddling, hand holding, and flirting won't help you here because he sees that as a normal part of your relationship and friendship and will not see it as you trying to get his attention and interest.
I know you want to be subtle here but sometimes subtlety has to fall by the wayside. You need to talk to him when you are alone and mention this other girl who lives six hours away and talk about how that relationship won't work on a romantic level even though they like eachother.
Tell him what Megan said to you about how he acts around her and talks about you. Lay it on the table and ask him whether he wants to be with you or not as you're here beside him when she's not and she's only seen him 5 times during the last year.
He would be dumb not to pursue this unless he's just not ready for a relationship or willing to take a risk. If you want something or in this case someone this much there's only one real option go for it! He won't say no and even if he did the word no won't kill you and at least you'll know where you stand. You've been friends for ages so nothing will change there.
i Really want to be an actress. but i just dont know where to start. i already paid n agency and they are sending me acting auditions. but most of them arent even for my age! and they are in another state, and we cant travel because we dont have that kind of money.
any advice? like how can i get started what do i do? thanks i rate! (link)
NEVER pay and agent anything to represent you. They are only supposed to make a commission of 10-20% off of work they actually secured for you.
Agents that ask for money upfront to represent you are out to scam you. The fact they say they are sending you on auditions for parts out of state and for roles much older than your own age is a huge red flag and signs they are unreputable. Break off all contact with them and pay them nothing.
If you wrote them cheques or post dated ones put a stop payment on at the bank. The ONLY agents who can charge you anything are background talent agencies who represent extras for TV and film and kids/teen talent agencies because their clients often bail after the first job seeing how tough it is.
What you need to do is get onto the SAG (Screen Actors Guild) web site in America or ACTRA's site in Canada and go through their list of reputable agents and approach them. If you have any trouble finding the list on their sites call their main number and explain what you need.
If an agent is not on their lists beware. The other two biggest scams are agents who demand you take photos through their photographer, demnad a portfolio and say they'll place your photo on the Internet for casting directors to see. It's a scam as no casting director or movie perssonel use the net to find people for their projects.
All you need are basic snapshots or in the case of background work an 8 *10 which can even be your school photo colar laser copied several times. What you need to do is find a background talent agent and become an extra first and figure out if you like the industry or not from that as shoots are often 14-17 hour days.
I have been in a few films and Tv series as an extra my self. You don't need to go out of state but may have to live to a large city as more films are done in a large city than small towns.
When people pay the bills for the computer or internet, do they see the websites you've been on? (link)
No. It's just a list of charges per month that is owed on the account. This is also true of viewing the same bill online. Think about it, if the bill listed EVERYTHING you did online it would be enormous and too huge to get in your mailbox and would waste through a couple of forrests.
All anyone will see on the statement each month is something like this monthly charges $42.95 equipment rental (if the charge for use of the modem) and surcharges if you went over your minutes on dialup or if you have to pay a fee to connect to their dialup access line or something else to that affect.
You're fine. If you are concerned that somebody else would be able to tell where you have been on the Internet all you need to do is use your Web browser's toolbar and hit history and clear when you are done and empty the cache and delete cookies as well.
Having said that, if you are trying to hide adult sites from your parents and other sites meant for people 18-years-old and over you should stop. You can get in a lot of trouble that way from your folks and or for saying you are 18 when you are not because of laws that apply to the operation of those sites. It's not meant for minors but one can empathsize with adolescent curosity.
Hey... I recently subscribed to a particular porn site... unknowing that the trial membership becomes a full membership after 3 days and they bill you like $40... >_<|
Anyways, I need help as how to cancel it. I've tried everything and it just won't work. I used a Debit card, and entered it in as a credit card.. I'm not sure if that was a good idea. When I cancel it, it asks me what pay service i used to pay for the account. I didn't use any pay service! I payed right on the site... Bleh.
Anyways, could someone please help me out? The site is (Deleted Don't post link to porn here.)
If you have entered in debit card information that has given them access to your account and the ability to drain it of funds. What you have to do is talk to your bank and get them to put a stop payment on your account for the name of this company and to warn you of any suspicious activity.
When it comes to a credit card it's pretty much the same situation. You call your credit card company up and tell them that a company you had a free trial with on their web site (you don't have to tell them that it's a porn site-- they wouldn't care) and they're now billing you for tons of things you didn't authorize them to.
Tell them to put in information about an unauthorized payment and fraudulant charges and they'll take care of it. You might even be able to have them change your credit card number. Let this be a lesson to you never to give any online site your credit card or debit info unless it's a well-known corporation, ticket agency or store.
Ill be 14 on April 3rd
In 5 foot 4 and i weigh 115 pounds
I would love to become a model. Its always been my dream, but i dont know where to start.
i love all of it. Runway, catalogue, anything.
I need to stay proper (im religious) but i dont think that would be an issue for a 13 year old
But no swimsuits or anything
How would i go about getting prepared to do this? How old/tall do i need to be to begin modeling? What to i need to begin going on go-sees to agencys? How should i act once im there? Do i need a portfolio or anything?
How about posture?
Im basically clue-less, so any information would help!
I watch americas next top model, but they are older.
Do you suggest going to barbizon?
i really really want to do this. (link)
You will need an agent to pursue this. Do not sign with Barbizon or any other agency that is not credited with being reputible by the Screen Actors Guild (SAG) or ACTRA in Canada.
If an agent isn't listed on their lists there's a good reason. Do not ever pay for lessons, photos they insist on or to have them put your photo on the Internet for casting directors or those in the entertainment industry looking to hire you for modelling or acting.
Those are two huge scams there. Reputible agents never advetise in newspapers, online or in phone books. What you need to find is a talent agent for kids/teens who specializes in modelling/acting/commercials.
Most of these agents only require snapshots and or an 8*10 (it could even be your school photo) laser copied several times. you don't need fancy photos or a portfolio as you are a beginner.
What I would recommend to you is to hire a background talent agent in a large city close to you. This agent will book you on movie sets and television show sets to be an extra. You'll really get a feel for the entertainment agency this way and see if acting and modelling is really what you want to pursue.
I've been on several movie sets with well-known stars as an extra including Man of The Year (Robin Williams, Christopher Walken), Hairspray, Blues Brothers 2000, Dresden Files, Long Kiss Goodnight. Work is abundant as an extra.
Hey well i have kissed befor and all that crap but i have never like literally mad out so to speak. like i dont know what to do or what a guy would like me to do. What would you sudgest?|
Thanks in advance! (link)
Try communicating with him about this and let him know you are inexperienced. It won't matter to him as most guys enjoy teaching girls and vice-versa girls with guys the ropes when it comes to this. It's a fun experience and great practic. Just relax it will all turn out fine once you tell him and talk about it.
hi im 13 1/2, and some guys talk to me alot and always compliment my eyes and all,|
and in general how do you know if a guys is intrested in you?
thanks :] (link)
This is pretty much the classic tell-tale signs a guy is interested in you and vice-versa when it happens to males. Trust me, guys just don't spend any time complimenting female classmates unless they are interested. They've laid the bait for you and hope you'll notice them.
You have it pretty good here if there's more than one person who is doing this. What you need to do now is figure out who you are a match with by inviting these guys on group dates, activities, parties and to hang out and observe their behavior and characteristics.
If there's a dance coming up tell one of them or all that you're saving dances for them. You have to show them you've noticed the flirting and after that the ball is in your court. Don't make them wait too long for this as guys and girls at this stage flirt and then move on if nobody responds.
Three different people in my grade told me that I have a reputation of being a bitch. When I told my friends this they were like you are def. not a bitch.. but when you get mad you get really mad. Which is true like I get really mean when I am mad at someone. Anyway, I don't want the reputation of a bitch cause I'm not and I don't want to be and I don't try to be. How can I not have that reputation anymore? (link)
Consider the source of these comments. The people who made them don't know you and are not your friends. In little under three years you won't even know half of them.
Considering they don't know you don't let their comments bother you. Its like them calling you an oompa loompa. Obviously you are neither an oompa loompa or a bitch. Laugh it off and go on with your business and friends as all these people want is to get a reaction out of you.
Don't give it to them as their comments are powerless to do anything to you unless you react and let it bother you. These people may just be jealous of your talents, intelligence, athleticism, the fact others like you etc. Yopu probably have everything they feel they lack and or want.
Show these people some love as that's what they need and turn the other cheek and ignore it. In the mean time see your parents, teacher and or guidance counselor to work on your anger as that will help you in the future.
As far as your reputation goes continue to be who you are and treat everyone whether friend or foe equally nice. Nobody could mistake you for a bitch then.
You only have a reputaion with a select few who don't matter and cannot change your repuation. Most people are smart enough not to listen or be swayed by people like this or rumor and will develop their own opinion of you by getting to know you or not.
I cut myself. |
I'm currently in therapy and getting help.
My parents don't know about it.
They don't need to know about my cutting. I'm getting help. And I'd really rather they never found out.
If anyone has ideas on how to hide the cuts, please tell me. (link)
You may be able to hide the cuts but you cannot hide your problem from them forever. They are responsible for your well-being and need to know that you were cutting, the reasons why and that you are working on it with your therapist.
If they notice the scars from the cuts which will happen eventually or if another adult or your friend brings it to their attention before you tell the truth they'll be angrier still. You need to admit to them what has been going on and that you told your therapist and are getting help.
You really need their support as this is a meantl health issue that just cannot be hidden. I wouldn't try to hid the cuts from mom and dad or the real problem as there's secrets we should keep and this sin't one of them.
They may be upset at first but they'll support you and help you even further when it comes to therapy and seeing a psychiatrist. Hide the cuts from the view of others but not thew problem from people like your family who can help.
I know you don't want them to find out but they need to. It's the only way to get well as this type of mental issue is always telling you to hide the truth from those who want to help and can. You need them and their support here. It's a hell of a burden for you to tackle with a therapist on your own.
This is probably a bit of a weird question but I just wanna know. I am 17/f and have slept with three guys. I've been in relationships with all of them (all 3 of them were virgins before me) and I didn't personally regret it until a few weeks ago, when I was telling my friends how many people I slept with and they were shocked, and said I should regret it. Well, should I? Should I not sleep with any more guys, or maybe wait a while before sleeping with the 3rd guy (my current bf) again? (We've only had sex twice and both times we were pretty drunk, we've been together 2 months.) This might seem stupid but it's something that has been bothering me a lot recently. Btw, I've always used protection too, and would never have sex without it.|
You are the antithesis of the word slut. You were in three different relationships and commited to each person. You decided to have sex in each relationship and that's fine.
You were also responsible and have not been sleeping around or with random people. It's nobody's business to even know let pass judgment on your sex life. You shouldn't care what they think. Having three partners and commited relationships with each is fine.
If you had sex with 10+ partners all of them random then I could understand their reactions. The amount of partners you have had is small number and not to worry over.
My advice to you is to never mix sex with booze. That's one of two mistakes not to repeat. It always leads to disaster or unwanted pregnancy etc. etc.
The second mistake never to make is to tell friends or anyone else about your sex life unless you want them passing comment on it and branding you.
Keep it personal and close to your vest is a good rule of thumb now that you have seen what happens. Your friends are probably all virgins and may not have had relationships, maturity especially and commited relationship experiences you have had so they think the fact you slept with three people is HUGE when it's not.
Should you have sex with your boyfriend again? That's not for me to decide. As long as you are safe, committed etc and the situation is right it's fine. Only you can figure out if you are comfortable with it.
Talk to your partner about your concerns and above all don't let anyone else comment or try to make your decisions for you when it comes to sex.
Keep your friends from getting their nose in this area of your life by applying the "what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom" motto. Next time your friends ask about your sex life tell them "I don't kiss and tell."
lately whenever i masturbate I have been getting this ginormous headaches it happens just as soon as i climax is this normal? I have been masturbating for almost my whole life and have never had any kind of headaches before what could be casuing this????? (link)
Here's an article on the subject. It's fairly common with sex and masturbation http://www.health24.com/medical/Condition_centres/777-792-1077-1714,12285.asp
This one deals with how to treat and deal with these kind of headaches.
I hope this helps out!
13/f and my friend is 13/f|
My friend, alex, lost her virginity last week. I got really mad at her. I don't know what to do. She moved to Indiana too. I don't feel like being her friend anymore because she lost her virigity at 13. First, she started smoking, then she gave bjs, now she's lost her virginity. I feel so weird. All my other friends are virgins. I really don't like my friend anymore. She used to be nice, happy, and cool, but now shes... gross, rude and... Virginityless... Not a word, but ok. I wish my friend could've been smarter. What do I do?! Plz help! (link)
Alex may have exercised extremely bad judgment here but she still remains the same person you were always friends with. Nothing has changed except her opening up and telling you about her private life and sex.
She may even be making things up as a lot of girls do her age to sound cool in front of her friends. Then again, she may have done everything you said she has.
It's not for you to judge her based on that even though we're talking bad decisions about sex. They are her mistakes and decisions to make. You and others can try to get her to see they are wrong for her, harmful for her age etc. but cannot make her change.
The whole bj, hj situation seems to be very common with people your age and older these days. While it isn't right for 13-year-olds you cannot judge her over it. Has there ever been a time where you did something that was precieved bad and she didn't judge you?
We've all sinned, made mistakes but don't throw away a great friendship based on whether you approve or disapprove of the decisions she has made. Share your insight and opinion with her but don't judge or throw everything away over this.
Would she be any les rude, gross etc if she hadn't told you? Think about that. Have a talk with her and mention that you don't think she's making good decisions about sex and life lately but you still want to be her friend. Ask her not to talk about her personal life with you.
Point out where she may have turned people off or been rude/gross and resume your friendship. She will have to learn on her own as does anyone that she's doing something that isnt healthy as you can show someone the way but cannot convince them.
The other thing I would do is confide in your parents the info you know about risky sex and behavior with boys and see what they can tell you to do here or perhaps they can approach her parents and not using your name tell them that they heard a rumor that her daughter did X, Y, Z go talk to her.
If she has only told you however it poses a problem. If you think she's being used, will get pregnant and is in over her head you can tell your parents and get adults to intervene. However, if this was told in confidence to you it can damage the friendship permanently but some secrets need to get out to adults.
You can also tell your teachers, guidance counselor that you are concerned about her because of what she has told you and that she's in over her head. If anyone is to intervene it should be an adult and not you.
Try to continue to be friends and don't judge her as I'm sure there are facts about you or big mistakes you've made that you wouldn't want people who know you to drop you over. Even though she's done these things she's still the same person, your friend. All that's changed is what you've learned about her. It doesn't affect her personality.
can you go into the ocean with a tampon?|
i really wanan go to the beach today.
or will the tampon like fall out or something? haha && after i get out of the ocean should i change the tampon? please reply asap and thanks for reading =] (link)
The advice you have been given previously is correct however, I noticed someone said that sharks smell blood and could give you a problem because you had your period.
This person advised that you may want to stay out of the ocean. I can tell you that this is one of the biggest myths out there about menstruation and the ocean. You'll be fine and like the other posters indicated you can leave your tampon in or leave it out while swimming in the ocean. Change it once you have stopped swimming.
I just felt someone should nip that myth in the bud. You won't be attacked by a Great White or any other shark for swimming during menstruation in the ocean.
so i talk to this guy quite often (normally through txts and IMs) and recently we got onto the topic of drinking, and ive drank before, but ive never gotten drunk....well now he talks about how we should hang out and get drunk and stuff like that, mostly cuase he wants to do stuff with me. I wouldnt mind making out or minor sexual things, but i dont wanna go any further...so what should i do to let him know that i wouldnt go very far with him, without making him think i wont do anything...thanks in advance (link)
I'm hearing alarm bells and I hope you are too. This guy is a player and bad news. This is a bad situation you could be getting into here.
Any guy who wants to get you drunk and then do sexual things to you is one to avoid outright. When you are that drunk you have no control or ability to make wise decisions about anything including sex.
You should tell him that "I really don't enjoy drinking or getting drunk. It's not my thing. You're a nice guy but I'm not ready for sex and would rather we be friends if anything."
He is likely the type to use you for sex (given the situation) and brag later on. I wouldn't want to make out with him later or be with him as a boy/girl thing as it sounds like the wrong person and situation for you.
However, see above if you just want him as a friend. You can also tell him where your boundaries are and that if he respects you and wants to be with you romantically on any level that he not raise drinking and sex up again. You need to be in control here and assertive.
Having said that he's bad news and a few other people who gave you advice noted this too. We aren't wrong and some of us know from expierience. Proceed with a lot of caution as anyone who wants to get you plastered where you cannot make sound decisions and have sex with you is a bad choice to get involved with.
when do the tickets go on sale?|
how much are they?
where can i get them?
for dec 11. in nyc
The group has not announced which venues they will be playing in yet for NYC or the other 10 cities on the tour. They require that anyone who wants tickets to register on their web site now as it looks (I haven't registered as I don't live in any of the cities) like they are randomly picking who can buy tickets. It's an attempt to weed out the scalpers from diehard fans.
Here's a helpful link to register for a chance at tickets http://www.thespicegirls.com/en/index.html
Ok, this is kinda gross... but for the past two days I've been having this weird, brown discharge. It wasn't much at first but last night I put on a pad and it almost looks like I'm having my period. And that's what I thought at first - it kind of looked like the brown, not-quite-bloody discharge I get RIGHT before my period starts (like, within an hour or two). But so far, I haven't started my period and I'm still getting this brown discharge.
I don't have any other symtoms. It doesn't hurt or itch or burn or anything like that. I looked all over the place (including webmd) but couldn't find anything that matched my symptom.
So does anyone know what it could be? This has never happened to me and I don't know what's going on. Could it possibly be my period? Is it related to sexual contact? I'm a virgin, but last week my boyfriend and I did a lot of sexual stuff I've never done before, so could something like that have caused it?
I know I should go to a gynocologist but I'm way scared and I just wanted to ask here before I do that, just in case someone knows something about it and it's not serious.
Thanks in advance! (link)
I thought that these links on good and bad vaginal discharge might help you in the future to distinguish between the two and know what to do if you have a certain kind.
I hope this helps you out. The advice the others have given you is fine but these fact sheets can be printed out so you'll always know whether something is wrong or not and if you need to see your gynacologist or not.
is there anyway to make it go away or less red? (link)
I'm in the same boat with bad sunburn right now. I'm using Solorcaine which is a spray that makes the sunburn hurt less and helps heal it in the end. You can get this spray or something like it if you visit your local drugstore and look for it or if you cannot find it ask the pharamist.
It works very well. Eventually it will go away and a lot faster by using the spray. See your pharmacist as they will have a long list of products as well as tips for making it go away faster.
I want people's opinions on this. Do you think people should wait to have sex until their married. Do you think People would regret it? I mean because like youve waited and now your wondering like "what would it feel like with someone else?" On the other hand i hear people having sex when there 14 and having STDS and they probably should've waited. idk|
Age really has nothing to do with it. It is always about maturity and whether two people love eachother, are committed, have planned this before doing it and are using birth control and being safe.
It would be ideal if they were married but even if they are not as long as they are responsible and truly ready it's fine in my opinion and very common these days.
Having said that sex is best meant for adults 18+ and not someone 14-years-old as the consequences are high and the maturity level that is needed is usually lacking. That's not to put people down but there's more to sex than just the act and emotions come into play etc.
It depends on the individual person whether they will regret having sex before marraige or not. You cannot get a concrete answer on that because each person will have a different experience with sex and not waiting. some will not have regretted it while others will.
I think everyone is guilty of thinking what would sex have been like with so and so from time to time. The thing is most not all people are commited to their partners and despite thinking this only want to be with them. I think that's more a fantasy what if thing for most people.