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Last Update: December 20, 2014
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13/f
Latley I have been feeling like i have no use in the world. I feel like i have no talents like the actors and models and singers do. I think it might be depression, which my mother has, so it does run in the family, but i don't think it is so bad that i need medication. I'm just sad, all the time. I want to do something like model or act so i wont feel so useless, but i dont think i would ever get the oppertunity to. I dont cut and i never thought of killing myself so dont worry about that. My main questions are
1.Is this depression, or something else?
2.Should i see a doctor or something?

plz answer soon

thanks (link)

It's your outlook that needs changing not you. You are the opposite of how you are describing yourself. I KNOW you have talents and skills other people don't and are quite useful, gifted, and exceptional.

Everyone is in their own way but the problem is you aren't claiming these things as yours. You're trying to deny them or the thoughts you are entertaining to be more correct are but they cannot.

You have clinical depression from what I can see (don't take this as a diagnoses) based on having an illness in the same family as this. if you are chronically sad 24/7 or your moods flucuate too often or you feel extreme highs and then lows and back again it's definitely signs of a problem.

You may think you don't need medication but mild anti-depressants could definitely help you here and get you happier and enjoying life. You should keep a diary documenting your feelings and tell your parents what is going on so they can get you acessed and feeling bettter.

So, this is likely clinicial depression albeit it mild that can be treated with anti-depressants and you should see your family doctor and if he thinks you are depressed ask for a referral to a psychiatrist that treats only kids and teens for support.


do most guys find it more attractive for a girl to have a big clit or small? or any preference at all (link)

A mature male knows that clitorises come in both sizes and it won't phase them. If it does they don't deserve to be touching or seeing down there.

The size of your clitoris ought to be the last damn thing on your partner's mind as love as well as your personality ought to be thier only focus.

Don't worry about this as mature guys won't care. Their probably too terrified that you'll think that of their genitalia. You're normal and fine big clitoris or not. If any guy was concerned over the size you should educate them and or show them where the door is.


i have been living with my grandparents for almost a year now. and my mother has not sent me any money to help me living such as, food, clothing, etc. my grandmother was thinking about grandparents rights. and i was wanting to know what are the postive and negative outlooks along with this ? how does this work ? and how do you get them ? (link)

Your grandparents need to consult with a lawyer who practices family law. It's different from state to state what a judge can determine or award in these cases and the law says different things in each state about this or any legal matter for that matter. The state laws are all different as are the Canadian ones for this kind of thing.

I would imagine they would have to go to court and become your legal guardians and prove your mother unfit to raise you or grant you legal emancipation. As far as your mother having to pay for your food, clothing, living allowance this is an area that only a lawyer knows how to sue over and can tell your grandparents about that and pursue action for you.


ok so i have this pool party im going to on wednesday, and well i might get my period then. now like i have never ever ever used a tampon before. so im like reallly really really really really nervous and scared. i have been to tampax online and read how to use one but im still really confused. like im confused on where i put it in? and it says you have to like slant it or put it on an angle...but like does it face my butt or my stomach? how far do i push it in? how do i know if its in right? if its not in right and i go swimming will this have some problem? so just clarify on where i put it in and stuff. im just really confsued. thanks! (link)

This article may help you more than the Tampax online site http://www.beinggirl.com/en_US/pages/goods_tampinsert.jsp If you Google "tampon insertion articles/advice" you'll find more detailed info on how to insert it for the first time.

As long as you are patient you'll get the hang of it and will be fine for Wednesday. My advice is not to be nervous or scared as that makes you tense up and actually makes it difficult to do it. The article should tell you about the angle etc.

Another site you should visit is Scarleteen which is a sex education web site made by professional educators for teens and their parents. www.scarleteen.com if you search their site for articles on inserting tampons or ask their experts on their message boards they may be able to provide charts etc. It's a great site.

Another alternative is buying a menstrual cup device that you insert and is reusable and easier to use. They are less common but thought I'd give you a link for info on that http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_cup Ask your pharmacist about them.


for a year now.. i have felt nothing but hurt and sadness.. i have physically hurt myself and i have had many paniac attacks. nothing is helping. i need help i know but my mother says there is nothing wrong. i feel though that there is something wrong.. i think of death a lot and i think of hurting myself a lot, my friends always pick me up and tell me to stop being depressed but whenever we go out lately i've been in a bad mood. i don't know what to do. i'm scared one day i'm going to be so mad and depressed that i'm going to take my life away. HELP ME! (link)

Suicide never solves anything believe me. It's an awful price to pay for a medical problem that is easily solved. What you have here is a psychiatric issue (most likely clincical depression) and its a mental illness issue.

Your mother may not be able to see the changes in you that are evident with this problem and may be shrugging things off thinking teens are always flipping back and forth with moods. This issue could also be signs of a mood disorder too. I have one so I know.

If you wind up feeling high all the time, too energetic, unable to sleep, depressed one minute and not you have a problem especially if it gets to the stage where you are delusional or having trouble grasping reality. The fact you mentioned suicide means you have a big time problem that needs to be looked at or it will get worse.

Here's what to do document all these feelings including the very dark ones, thoughts of death etc and go to an adult other than your parents that you trust and ask for medical help and to see a psychiatrist as your mom won't listen to what is a very real problem.

You should talk to your teachers in confidence about this and have them confront your parents and get you help. You can also talk to guidance counselors, your friend's parents, aunts, uncles etc.

The other thing you could do is just walk into your doctor's office or a walk-in clinic and tell them what you are dealing with and that you need help but your parents don't believe you have a problem.

It's important you get treatment. Mental health issues such as this one are considered to be emergencies. You can take public transit or find a way to get to a hospital emergency room on your own and they'll have a psychiatrist assess you and start treatment on medications etc. If they feel you are of harm to yourself they can hospitalize you also.

You need to tell more people about your situation until someone does the right thing and gets you help or take the situation in your own hands and get to health care professionals on your own.


Help me! My mom is too overprotective! She told me that I can't get a boyfriend until I'm OUT OF COLLEGE! How do I tell her that I would be WAY TOO OLD by the time I'm out of college to get a bf? (link)

You cannot convince a single person of anything that they don't want to see or believe. All you can do is plead your case and give them information.

Having said that, your mother is more apt to believe an adult she knows such as your aunt, uncle, family friend or teacher that she is wrong and holding back your growth as an adolescent.

One of these people can go up to bat for you and tell her you're a good kid, not interested in sex and that people your age need to have relationships. Your best bet is to inlist an adult you trust to get through to her about this and change some things around.


15/m
last night my girlfriend was telling me she wants me to finger her next time we see each other. anyway i just want some tips on how to do it. i've never done so (nor has she ever been) and just want to do a good job.

thanks (link)

The best thing you can do is talk to her before you do it and during and ask her what she likes, wants and how to do it. She's the expert on her body and how it responds to this kind of sexual activity.

You need to communicate with her before attempting this otherwise you might be too rough or be groping around where and when you shouldn't. Essentially what you are doing here is your partner's masturbation for them. A lot of females focus on clitoral stimulation however each girl is different and some find it too intense.

Your girlfriend has never had this done before and you haven't done it before so you are both new to this and will be figuring things out together. There's no real expectation from her as she knows you're both learning and testing it out. This is why you need to communicate before, during and after.

Have her guide you and tell you what she's enjoying as well as not enjoying as you're doing it. It's the only way to learn as you cannot determine these things otherwise.


i was just wondering if anyone knows of any good concerts happening in the nyc or montreal area on july 12-20. i'm going there on vacation and i sort of think i'll miss the whole experience if i don't end up seeing an amazing band play. (:

thanks in advance (link)

When it comes to Montreal punch in admission.com into your web browser. It will bring all the major concerts that are on sale for all of Quebec. You can also log onto hob.ca which is the House of Blues concert Promotion site in Canada.

They handle all the major acts, and 90% of concert promotion in Canada and the U.S. with Live Nation being their only other competition. In New York try hob.com and ticketmaster.com and select the Ticketmaster info pages for that area. You're bound to be able to find something for the weeks of July 12-20.



i've given my boyfriend a bj and a hj and he's fingered my but he wants to eat me out and im nervous about it. i guess im worried that im going to taste weird. i dont think i should be worried about this, i've had no diseases or infections ever down there so i should be normal right? i know it's not because of him, i trust him completely and he says he wants to do it to make me feel good but i dont want him to be totally grossed out if i taste bad. (link)
A lot of women are self-concious about this and smell. You are not alone. As long as you bathe regularly you should be fine and he won't be grossed out by smell or taste unless you have an infection which you do not.

Actually, he may be more turned on by your own scent than you think. The same goes vice-versa as your bodies send out phermones and your own scent finger-print much like DNA does according the article I read that turns people on sexually to eachother.

I would just relax and allow him to proceed here with no worries and enjoy having the experience. You're fine and all clear to do so. Your scent and taste will likely turn him on rather than off in this instance.

Have a read of this article about sexual phermones and your scent. http://health.discovery.com/centers/sex/aphrodisiacs/phermones.html As long as you bath before sexual activity and oral sex in particular you will be fine and can relax.


does sex for the first time hurt? does it hurt just the first time or every time? and is there a way to prevent the pain if it is painful? (link)

Some women experience a bit of pain and or discomfort that usually but not always stems from thrusting, insertion of the penis (penetration) and or friction from thrusting. It does not hurt each and every single time out.

The best thing to do is engage in foreplay with your partner before attempting intercourse as a woman's vagina should always be wet with loads of lubrication that she usually secretes naturally when aroused right before sex.

This lubrication allows for easier penetration and thrusting and eliminates some of the discomfort a woman may experience during sex the first and subsequent times.

In the event you do not secrete enough natural lubrication you can purchase a water-based lubricant from any drugstore that will serve to help you here.


ok so i was getting fingered and (ive never been fingered before by the way) it really hurt. Like it felt good because we were in the moment but it still hurt. I had to tell him to stop a few times just because i needed a break. is there something wrong with me?

k thanks. (link)

There is nothing wrong with you or your genitals. It sounds as though your boyfriend was too enthusiastic and may have been doing this for the first time just like you were.

It's evident he is rubbing, pressing etc. too hard and too rough. Often guys will do this as they have no idea about female anatomy and how it works or what to do when pleasing a girl in this manner. They're often clueless and more or less just happy you allowed them to touch you in this manner.

Guys often are too rough because they treat their penis and other parts of their genitalia very rough during masturbation etc. What you need to do is communicate to your boyfriend before, during and after where you want to be touched, how rough or hard and guide him through it so he knows what to do next time.

Fingering should never hurt you. It's meant to be very pleasurable. If it starts to hurt he's doing it wrong and too hard and rough.


I've been watching porn on TV for the past couple of nights. Not the whole thing but just segments. Im 16/f by the way. I've never had sex, or even kissed. Im feeling pretty ashamed by it. Does anyone else watch it? Is it a common thing for teens? (link)

You are a healthy and normal teenage girl who just happens to be curious about something you have never experienced and what it looks, sounds and feels like.

Many teens both male and female have looked at pornographic images or films on TV and it never killed them. It's nothing to get upset, worried or ashamed about. It's normal curosity about sex. Even if you were turned on by it that's okay too and cannot hurt you.

The thing is these films are meant for adults and not teens or heaven forbid kids who may stumble on them. My advice would be to stop watching and find something else to do late at night if you are awake.

I know you'll stop but Your parents might want block out movie channels and PPV stations with their remote before turning in to keep younger siblings out as well as anyone without the code. It protects kids and yourself too.


Well wen i was 10 i was raped and all of my friends know well one of my friends told me that she wants 2 get raped(she's a virgin)just so she doesn't have 2 be the only virgin in our cliqué and so she stays on her myspace talking 2 perves im scared 4 her she says on monday she is going 2 meet somebody and im scared she is going 2 get raped and that the person is going 2 kill her so i need advice fast before i might not ever see her again (link)

This is pretty bizarre behavior let alone strange dialogue she is having with you and others. It's in your best interest to do two things here.

The first thing to do is let your family know what happened to you at age 10 and the circumstances and who did it as your letter makes me think you haven't. This part is important so the bastard who raped you doesn't go after other girls and there are more victims.

The second thing to do is tell your parents what your friend said and about her hanging out on line with perverts and that she said she was meeting someone from online she never met on Monday.

They'll call her family and work it out. If you have a trusted adult, older sibling, aunt, uncle, teacher, therapist tell them about it Monday morning anonymously and have them contact her family as she might even need psychiatric help (I'm not kidding) considering her mentality and those remarks.

Normal teens don't make those statements or joke or take rape lightly even hoping to be raped themselves? Does that sound at all normal? Don't worry about her or anyone getting pissed for doing this either as it has to come out to adults.

She'll appreciate it in the end as someone needs to save her ass as meeting a pervert alone from online is horrible news to hear from her. So, log off now and tell an adult you trust immediately. That's the only advice anyone will give you here repeatedly as it's the right advice.


okay this is kinda weird, but... my little sister doesnt know about masturbation. well i think she kinda knows that guys do it, but she doesnt know that girls can do it too. i feel like she should know about it, but theres no way i could even mention it to her. but she likes to read, so i was thinking i could get her a book that would talk about it. does anyone know of any books that cover that topic? not one of those "all about your body" kind of books (she wouldnt read that), but like a story/novel for teenage girls that just happens to have that in there somewhere. so she could read about it and get the idea for herself. (link)

You should get her either from the library or a bookstore What's Happening To My Body both editions one for boys one for girls to help her understand all of this. She needs to know what boys go through as well. The author is Lynda Madaras.


14/f becoming a freshman

Well this is kinda 2 questions. Sorry. Anyways my first question is now that im getting into HS i dont know how im going to have an actual relationship with a guy because i cant date till im a senior. My older sister (leaving for college) wasnt aloud to date till she was a senior and is trying to convince my mom and dad to let my brother and i date at least when we are4 a sophmore because my brother will be a junior. She told them no one wanted to date her then and shes never had a real bf. I dont know whats gonna happen. I was thinking about it and there are alot of resturants up the street from school and people go down there so i was thinking we could do that but im not really sure.

Next question is im beginging to feel more and more left out about not having a bf when all my other friends have. A guy has never asked me out before and people tell me im pretty and that i have such a good personality and yet there is nothing. I hate watching a show or a movie and that person is on a date or is having her first kiss because i want that so bad. Like a few minutes ago im watching this TV show and the girl is going on dates and is kissing and im talking to my best friend (who has a bf and kissed) and im talking to her you know what its like i dont. I just feel so left out. I hate imagining about it and thinking about it because i get so depressed about it. only 2 guys have liked me. 1 in 7th and one in 8th. but they never told me but i knew. i had that gut feeling but they both got back with there ex girlfriends. I feel hopless and im getting braces and i i have no idea how im gonna kiss or make out with braces without cutting the guy. i just want a guy that will walk with me to class talk on the phone, makes me laugh. i had some self esteem issues in 7th grade and now everything is back to normal and i think im pretty again but i feel all the bf/ kissing thing is blowing up in my face. i like pray to God to help me but i just cant take it anymore. i want to know. people say its not all that but i wanna find that out for myself. please help me.
thanks. (link)

Sorry for my tardiness in gettig back to you. It has been quite a busy week. So, here we go with your answers.

1) Do you have an aunt or adult your parent's value the opinion of and always trust? You need someone other than your sister to twist their arms to see that you are a good kid, not someone who is going to make bad mistakes ie have sex and get pregnant etc.

This person should tell them that most kids your age date and that they cannot expect you to have to wait until you are 18-years-old as that's way beyond unrealistic.

Find someone who will champion for your rights that is an older adult such as a teacher, grandparent, aunt, friend of your family.

Tell them to start with "do you think so and so is kissing boys yet?" and joke about it and then start attacking in a playful manner them being too old fashioned and that you should be allowed to.

You could get a guidance counselor or teacher point out that you being forbidden to associate with boys until age 18 negatively affects your development and seperates you from your peers and people your age. Teachers and guidance counselors are on your side.

2) Relax about not having had a boyfriend or a kiss yet. The more you keep pushing for it the harder it is to find someone or them to find you. If you know someone likes you tell them you like them and about your situation and meet up in groups at the movies etc and work on building a relationship.

First boyfriends and kisses just happen when you aren't even looking. You have to step up your flirting, approach guys you like and let them know you're there and interested. Go to a lot of parties, hang out in groups and you'll meet the right guy.

Trust me, God listens. He may not give you a boyfriend (poof) but he does give you opportunities to meet one or to be in a situation where they come to you. Don't dispair as people start dating either in their teens or some in their 20s and you can be any age to have a first kiss.

Remember it's not a competition. Stop trying to make it happen as it all comes on it's own. It's unfoldment. Wait and see what God has in store for you as you haven't given things time to naturally progress.

The braces issue is no big deal as a lot of kids have them and kiss up a storm with their boyfriends/girlfriends. I've never known of anyone who cut their tongue because their partner has braces. You kiss like normal and if you need to make a few minor adjustments you'll be fine.

You'll have all these things for yourself soon but need to relax about this and go about your normal routine as guys can see you are tense or appear wound up and yes even needy of them. The sooner you stop worrying, act normally and get in there and approach guys you'll be fine.



i dont really pay attention to ratings because i just started but i gave someone a detailed answer and he gave me a 3. its not so much his rating its his comment:
Thank you for your answer. I would give you a 4 but you didn't capitalize. Otherwise it was a good answer.
what does capitalizing have to do with anything? (link)


It sounds like this person is a jerk or was being one to say the least about them. If you feel he/she rated you unfairly which they of course did the best thing to do is file an abuse report and let a moderator handle things and bump your rating up.

So what if you didn't capitalize something. It happens to all of us who write e-mails, forum postings etc. or type fast. That's normal. I can understand though if it were riddled with mistakes, grammar errors and or Internet lingo like bff etc. making it harder to read.

The bottom line is you need to fill out an abuse report with the link to the question and as much other details you can give and allow a L2 moderator to check it out and bump the rating to a 5 if they feel it deserves it.


can a girl get pregnat from doing anal sex? (link)

This one has been asked quite frequently and answered a lot. It's okay that you asked as it's a legitimate question. The answer is no because you need vaginal intercourse for pregnancy and the anus and vagina are two completely different orifices as you already know.

Now, there is some debate however, about semen dripping down to the vaginal opening etc. but I don't put much stock in that having never heard of anyone who became pregnant that way. Not saying it cannot happen just very cautious to accept or give that info as it could be wrong.

So, to reiterate the answer's really no because the vagina and anus are totally different and only vaginal intercourse can lead to an egg being fertilized and a person becoming pregnant.


ohh kay so like jocky outgoing guys are always telling about how the whack off and stuff. do shy guys? i heard it was like a personal need of guys to like have really high hormones. so im just wondering if shy guys are all into that? (link)

There is a medical article in the Wikipedia Online Encylopedia that is technical and non-graphic on masturbation and frequency when it comes to the two sexes and on age and other characteristics which you may find answers this question you posted better than anything else http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masturbation#Masturbation_frequency.2C_age_and_sex

The short answer to your question is that whether they are shy or not guys are just as sexual when it comes to masturbation but with anything else the jocks hold the advantage because of their confidence, arrogance, image and all of those things and attract women and sex partners better than a shy person could.


where can i see the movie Thirteen online? (link)


It is actually much better that you rent it from Blockbuster or buy it from Best Buy than try to find it online. The first reason is due to film piracy. The online versions you download are actually stollen and usually copies of a legit copy or filmed directly off the screen.

They almost always having grainy picture, poor sound and or people heard talking if it's taken off the screen and bad picture. Further more whether it's an online or bootleg of a movie that just came out or has been out for a long time neither the actors, director, anyone with the film have been paid royalties.

This may not matter to you as a teeanger but it does to the industry and drives up the price of movie tickets, rentals, any DVD you buy as it's a billion dollar rip-off operation all around the world.

Next, viruses are often hidden with the film you download that automatically execute before you even know it once you play the film. My recommendation is that you rent Thirteen or buy it if you enjoy it so much or have yet to see it as it's a brilliant film and you are getting the best copy that exists.

Having said that a lot of people are downloading films over bit torrent and programs like it. While I cannot stop you from doing that at least I answered your question and gave you reasons pro/con for trying or not going ahead and downloading it.


my health teacher said we all have some kind of mental disorder? what? can someone help explain or back her up on this? (link)

That's an odd remark for a teacher or anyone to make about a group of people. you should let your folks know he/she said it and see what their reaction is.

There is no way to tell what context this person meant it in unless confronted by parents and students. Nobody can back her up on this either.

My hunch is he/she was frustrated with the class and said "you all must have some kind of mental disorder." I don't know though as I wasn't there to hear it. Talk to your parents and have them, fellow teachers, principal and students get her to justify her remarks.




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