ask orphans

read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators

This is the account that questions and answers from abandoned accounts are assigned to.
Member Since: January 14, 2006
Answers: 11747
Last Update: February 16, 2011
Visitors: 80369

Main Categories:
Colleges & Universities
Job Searches
Personal Finance
View All

Favorite Columnists
I'm 11 and I have big boobs already! I'm pretty sure I'm A 38 or something like that. My mom has really small boobs so I'm skeptical. My dad does no have boobs of course but I was just wondering if by this rate I'm going to have big boobs? I started wearing a bra in 4th grade but... I'm just hoping to know if this will unfortuntly lead to big boobs. Reply soon? (link)
There is no way of telling! Some will develop early, and stop developing early. Others will develop later, and they will carry on developing at that rate.

So your breasts may not grow anymore now. Or they could carry on growing. There's nothing you can do, except wait until you're 18-21ish (when you stop developing and growing), and so the best thing to do is to embrace it.

I am 13/f and I have been a vegitarian for almost a week now, but I havent told my parents... Whenever they have a meal containing meat, I tell them Im not hungry or just eat whatever they have with the meat like potatoes, corn, peas, ect. I dont exactally know how to tell my parents I want to be a vegitarian though. PLease help (link)
Being a vegetarian is not something serious. It's not as big a thing as, for example, coming out as being gay.

Next time your family go shopping for groceries, say 'don't buy meat for me, I thing I'm going to be a vegetarian for a while. But can you pick me up *this*'

The reason the grocery shop time is the best, is because they know what to pick up. If you mention it 5minutes before dinner, then your parents have to figure out something for you.

But like I said, just tell them straight up. It's not a big deal these days.

Good luck.

okay, so when I hit the shower, it hurts in my arse crack, like a sharp sting. It's been going on for quite a while too. But it only hurts under the shower. When its dry, I don't feel it. I also have alot of hair back there. This is a serious question, its not normal to have a crack that hurts in running water. (link)
This may be because of a dry skin problem. Check it out in a mirror, to see if the skin is broken or cracked.

Visit your doctor, as there may be a serious cut or tear. Remember, that your doctor is a medically trained professional, who has seen much, much worse. Because of this, there is nothing to be embarrassed about.

im 16/f, ive noticed i have always have a overly high blood pressure... what could be the cause of this? and what are the effects? do i need to see a doctor? (link)
You need to see a doctor, who will be able to help.

We are not doctors.

Dear Sir/Madam,I am 37 yrs old female working my preiods comes always near every 25th of month,from August 2012 my period still not started.we brought pregency kit for testing that showed negative.what will be the reason.pleas (link)
See your doctor.

I've made the decision for myself to choose to eat as healthy as I possibly can, and eat the foods that are most pesticide-filled as organic.

I started experimenting with healthy and organic things a few months ago and of course my Dad protested it as being useless, and a waste of money, and not of his "ways"and that I'm only following the "white men". Whatever the hell that means.

I'm taking it more seriously and I've made a meal plan with exactly what I will eat for the week, and what I'm going to make so I can only buy what I need from the store. Nothing more, and nothing less.

I asked my dad just about 10 minutes ago if we can go out grocery shopping so I can pick up a few things and he just blew up on me and starting screaming that if he lived like me, he would get nowhere in life and that I'm not some rich person that can buy organic food and do whatever I want.

Then he started telling me about all the food he has bought that has gone to waste because it has gone bad. And that he doesn't want ME wasting his money anymore on groceries. And mind you, it was everything I told him NOT to buy because I told him specifically that no one would eat or drink it and it would go to waste. Why did he buy it? Only because it was for sale.
Honestly, I don't understand it.

Talk about being frugal gone wrong.

Anyways, to make things clear. My Dad does NOT pay for my groceries. I pay for ALL and any of the groceries I choose to purchase whether they are organic or not. So the issue is not on if HE can financially afford my diet since I pay it for it myself.

Anyways. I just want some sort of advice or a view point on someone who is not in the issue so that I can understand it. I probably can't understand his mindset right now because I'm
on the opposite side.

I just want to know if what I am doing is wrong or if my Dad is just over-reacting (which he tends to do a lot). (link)
It does sound like your father is over-reacting. But that is because organic food is expensive. If you don't use chemicals, then food is more likely to not grow, or go off. Because of the waste from this, the farmers have to add it to the good food to make up for it.

My advice? Speak to your father next time about your choice. Explain to him why you're doing what you're doing.

Be sure to tell him exactly what you want though. For example, some things, the whole household will need. This includes simple things like bread, milk, etc. Tell him that you will eat these, but not to get anything else for you.

Could you not go grocery shopping yourself, or tag along with him?

Also remember that there is no solid evidence to suggest that organic food has more nutrients that non-organic food.

You could also find a batch of something that is organic, and tastes much better that normal food, and ask him to try it out to see the difference? For example, I find organic carrots to have a much better flavour than non-organic carrots. Next time he is cooking with carrots, ask him to try organic so he can see the difference.

But really, he just thinks it's a profit seeking fad (which, to some extent, it is) and does not see it to be useful. You just have to calmly try to change his opinion. He's just looking out for you, making sure you don't waste your money.

Hi My gf is a virgin and yesterday we fooled around so my penis was brushing around her vagina but i was inside of her at all. she was holding it as i was brushing around it ,

i did not cum inside at all

could she be pregnant if

- i cum around her vagina opening , even if she is pregnant

- i cum outside and far from her vagina

she is a virgin


timtim (link)
Yes. In theory she could be pregnant. Sperm cells are very small. So small that you can't see them. All the body needs is a single sperm cell to get in to the vagina to become pregnant. So if one cell got in, then it could be a possibility in theory.

Practically, it's improbable. Not impossible.

Your best bet is to ask her to take a couple pregnancy tests a couple weeks or so after the incident.

You also place particular significance on her being a virgin. That doesn't matter.

But more widely, Timtim, why would you be so stupid? I mean, what possessed you to be so idiotic to do such a thing? If you don't want babies, then use protection. If you don't want babies, and don't want to use contraceptives, then keep your penis in your trousers.

im willing to go to all costs to set up a rehabilitation for penguins in my local zoo. They have the encosure i have the skill but theres only 5 penguins and need to know where to buy more from for a breeding and releasing scheme (link)
You want more penguins? Best bet would be to contact other zoos in the country and ask if they have some.

can u ejaculate anauly (link)
"The anus, particularly the anal sphincters is richly supplied with nerve endings.
The prostate, which can be felt as a nut size structure just inside the rectum is also sensitive to gentle stimulation.

Often men will seek stimulation of the anus/prostate while also enjoying stimulation of the genitals and will then ejaculate in the usual way.
This nonetheless is not the same thing as orgasm by anal/rectal stimulation alone.

Some users of prostate stimulating devices such as the "Aneros" report orgasmic experiences not involving genital stimulation and which are said to induced solely these devices. The overwhelming nature of these orgasms has given rise to the popular term "The Big O".

Other men take anal/rectal exploration further and insert larger objects in the rectum and even in the lower colon. In such cases it must be assumed that the pleasure arises from the "full" feeling rather than the stimulation of nerve endings, because the higher one goes in the rectum the fewer nerve endings there are to stimulate.

A practice which has become relatively common in recent years is anal fisting or handballing, which involves passing a hand through the anus and into the rectum and higher.

Fistees commonly report orgasms that are qualitatively different from those obtained by genital stimulation. Furthermore the orgasm is not followed by a refractory period and the fistee may a experience a number of orgasms on after the other.

The anecdotal evidence for such orgasms suggest that other mechanisms come into action during fisting (and big dildo play), possibly involving the muscles of the pubo-rectal sling and the nerves of the autonomous nervous system. "


The above is from Wiki Answers. See how easy it is to google a question and find an answer?

Whilst on the matter of Advicenators Etiquette, can you ask questions properly? Proper spelling and grammar costs nothing. A bit of courtesy wouldn't go amiss either.

Well, I had this friend last year in middle school and I thought I heard him call me a b*tch. I went up to him and asked him if he called me a b*tch and he yelled and said no and we started yell, but a teacher told us to stop and go onto class. I've been trying since after that day to be his friend again, but now we're in the next grade and aren't in any classes together. My younger brother and his younger brother are in a sport together too. What is the BEST way to get my friend back as fast as possible?
(P.S I am not a boy.) (link)
Your best option is to contact him directly (Facebook, Twitter direct message, letter, email, etc). Just ask how he is. Just say "Hey, it's been a long time! How have you been?"

Then, apologize for what you did. You assumed something, and what you should have done was speak to him privately, and asked if anyone called you a nasty name.

If after you've apologized and have acted civil and nice, he decides not to speak to you, then there's nothing you can do.

All you can then do is just hope that he will speak to you again. Just be a good friend.

Over the summer, I worked as an intern and my Manager was pretty young for his position -- he is 26 and I am 22. My internship has been over for about a month now.

We have always had a close relationship and over the summer we had a couple of "moments", I guess you could call them. But they were completely innocent.

His wife lives in a different city where she works. He has told me a couple times that he doesn't know if it will work out between them.

Well, last night, I ran into him at a bar and I was really upset about something so we started talking and we went back to his apartment to talk and hang out. We are friends so it wasn't weird that I went.

It got to be late and he told me I should stay over because I lived far. I agreed because honestly I was so tired and I didn't think I could drive home. He got me some clothes to change into and I asked him to start the zipper for my shirt because I couldn't reach it. Instead of letting the zipper down a bit, he let it down the whole way and pulled my shirt off of my shoulder.

Then we had a conversation:

Me: Adam, you're married
Him: But I'm not happy
Me: What does that have to do with me?
Him: That is what I need to find out

Right after that my phone rang (thankfully). I told him I should go home but he wouldn't let me. I slept in his room and he slept in the living room. This morning He left for work before I could see him.

Now I don't know what to do :( and I don't completely know what he meant by what he said. If he wasn't married I would go for him in a heartbeat. (link)

Can you trust yourself just to go to dinner with him? Again, my advice, stay away. If you must meet him, then there's already a problem. Don't get too involved because you may end up in too deep.

Until he has the Decree Absolute (legal document that ends the marriage officially) he is still married. A divorce is a very messy thing. They could still get back together. It is also very stressful : it's not something you want to get involved in if you can avoid it.

Sometimes, people find the divorce process is so upsetting, that people get back together. They decide to stay married. Things can also change in other ways.

Also keep in mind that he is on the rebound. Don't be *that woman* who takes advantage of that.

So in short, just because they have decided to get a divorce, he is still married. Divorces take a long time, and they may actually never get divorced. It's also still, an even messier situation.

Now, if you want to meet him as a FRIEND and be a good shoulder to cry on, then sure, meet him. But don't let it go further. I say avoid it. But if you really, really want to, then you may. But just be a friend who has open ears. Again, don't say anything that can be read wrongly, be impartial, and listen more than you speak.

But as I said...give him time. Wait until the decree absolute. Don't get involved with a married man. Keep yourself busy with someone else.

I suggest you back off. He's married. If he cheats on his wife with you, then you are involved. It could be VERY messy.

Let him deal with his problem with his wife. Don't promise to be with him, and don't tease him.

If he leaves his wife because he is unhappy, then that's fine. If he wants to be with you, then that's fine too. After he leaves his wife he can do what he wants. As long as he is with his wife, he is off limits.

But you shouldn't try to break them up. Or give him the impression that you would be interested if he broke up with his wife. Or do anything to give that impression.

Just leave it be. Avoid being too comfortable with him. Don't lead him on. Don't tease him. Just find someone that is not married. Remember, you will be breaking up a couple here, and ruining someones life (possibly two if it doesn't work between you two).

So I know this guy I used be good friends with. We met in last year of college. However my relation was with him was more academical. We used study together in library. During this period he started developing feelings towards me. I never saw him more than a friend. So one day he texted saying he loves me and wants to be more than friends and I told him I dont feel the same way. Scared about our friendship he made up a huge lie that he didnt text me, his phone got stolen and a person who stole the phone texted me. I clearly knew he was lying. I told him many times to tell the truth and assured it wont harm our friendship but he didnt and finally when I stopped receiving/replying his call /texts he confessed and begged to forgive him. I did forgive him but I cant forget what he did to me. I hate it when someone lie to me I hate it even more when they are worse at it like you're insulting me by thinking i'm dumb enough to believe you. This happened two yrs ago. After that we never saw or tried to contact each other but now few months ago he has found my twitter account.However he doesn't know I know abt this. He keeps stalking me there and everytime sees me talking to a guy get really jealous and start msging and calling that he wants to be my friend again. I get atleast 50 calls/msgs a day. He is so insecure and its really really annoying. He's forcing himself into my life. I dont want to go back to being friends again. I get repissed when I think about what he did to me. He's not ready to move on. I dont know how to handle this situation.:/ Help. (link)

Well you're really stuck here. You've already tried ignoring him, which is often the best thing to do.

What you need to do? Tell him one more time. One last time. Just explain how you feel, and that you don't appreciate being harassed. Remain calm, but use strong, obvious language. Don't sugar coat it. But don't be nasty. Explain the problem. Explain everything that he has done wrong.

If this still fails, then you have no option but to tell someone about it. Are you of school age? Do you go to school together? Is there a teacher, principle, etc you can tell?

Or tell your parents. But if not, then the police may be the only option. If you believe that he is actually harassing you, then you have a cause of action. But this must be a last resort.

Regarding twitter, you can block him. Or generally just change your privacy settings.

Good luck! Let me know how it goes? :)

im 17/f. i meet this guy a few days ago, he is amazing. seriously everything ive been waiting for and more, the best thing is he feels the same way. He is very religious but, not that ,that's a bad thing so am i. but last night he told me it would be unwise to date me cause im not catholic. he isnt a virgin and either am i, yet he wants to wait till marriage for sex. im not against that, i actually like it. but he thinks because i dont have the same religious views as him that he couldnt date me, cause i dont have the same views on marriage ( he dates people he intends to marry ) i really like him, and i dont want to be discharged because of my beliefs... what do i do? (link)

You met this guy a few days ago, and you're already speaking about sex and marriage?

I think you may be getting ahead of yourself slightly.

You say that you really like him, but I think you should move on already.

This guy is clearly bigoted. Religion, race, creed etc shouldn't make a difference. If he feels that he can't date someone who is not the same religion as him, then that says more about him than you.

My advice? Move on. Meet someone else. Be friends with this fellow if you must, but it won't work as a romantic relationship.

Hi Im Jazz a nd Im14/f.
Ive been told I have an eating disorder but i dont think I do.
I recently about two months ago stopped eating.I dont feel hungry or anything.I just dont eat because Im not hungry.

But then my mom will make a big deal about me not eating which annoys me so Ill start eating alot for two or three days to shut her up.

Then maybe for the next week I stop eating again because im not hungry.In the last two months Ive went to the doctor.When they weighed me I was 114.

But a month later I was only 100.Now Im 108.

I honestly dont think I have an eating disorder.I know Im perfectly healthy.How do I et my mom to see things the way I do. (link)
When you say that you don't eat, do you mean at all? Like, you go a week without consuming any food at all?

This certainly sounds like an eating disorder.

My advice? Speak to your doctor. Explain that you don't feel hungry for long periods of time. This is not normal. There may be something VERY serious explaining it. So going to your doctor will definitely help.

Of course, you may also benefit from therapy. Ask your doctor to refer you, or go straight.

Either way, you should definitely speak to a doctor.

I had a Friend who was one of my best friends. In fact he was more like the little brother I never had.

About a month or so ago, he got back with his ex, who had cheated on him in the past. He said at the time, he felt like he was making a huge mistake, but he loved and missed her and she felt the same. I said as long as he was happy, I was happy.

Anyway, she recently kicked off at him about us being friends and he explained to her we are only mates and we have a brother/sister relationship. Bearing in mind He's 19, I'm 24 and I am actually engaged to my partner of 6 years and I love him.

There has never been anything more than that between us and never will be, we were just very close. Anyway she was fine with it after he'd explained.

She then kicked off about a week ago again, and sent me a message on facebook pretending to be him, saying don't ever speak to me again.

When I questioned him about it, he said he was sorry, but he couldn't speak to me ever again as he needed to save his relationship. I was absolutely devastated.

I then got a message off his girlfriend, saying she didn't appreciate our relationship as we "flirt" too much. Her interpretation of flirting is a few messages from me saying "hiya sweetheart are you having a good day?" or "have a good day babe"

We've always spoke to eac hother like that by the way.

She went on to explain that she dosen't like the manner in which we speak in and feels it's not acceptable for us to speak that way. I said to her she is obviously insecure because I have a partner of 6 years and I love him. There is absolutely no reason for her to think otherwise.

Anyway my friend said they had argued about it and now as a result he's cut all contact with me. She's told me never to speak to him again and she says that he says the same. She said she feels better now nobody is going to call "HER boyfriend" sweetheart.

I think it's absolutely ridicilous and I haven't stopped crying for days. Not only have I lost one of my best friends, I've also lost someone who was like my brother.

I'm so angry, hurt and upset because I know she's made him choose between us, and while I wouldn't have wanted him to choose her over me, I wish he would have valued me as a friend and told her straight that she is being ridicilous. It shouldn't have even come to this, there's never been anything more between us. I'm absolutely heartbroke, but I've respected what he's said and not contacted him, but I did message him saying that I'll always be here.

His girlfriend is obviously very jealous and insecure.

I just don't know how to deal with this. I know I can't do anything but she is controlling him and it breaks my heart.

When I apologised to her during our conversation for her being upset, she said fair enough, I know there's nothing going on between you. So why was there still an issue here?
He's blocked me on everything by the way. (link)
This is a terrible situation. You simply have to talk to him somehow.

He is 19. He thinks that this girl is the love of his life. Has he had many relationships? If he thought he was making a mistake, but STILL went for it, then it sounds like he had one, and was desperate not to let it go.

She is obviously jealous, and not a very nice person at all. But you musn't criticize her to him. He will not be willing to listen.

You just have to find a way of contacting him, and arranging a meet up. Let him know, that trust is fundamental in a relationship. If she can't trust him, then it will never work. You also need to say that you both cant let someone come between your friendship. But don't make it sound like you are trying to break them up.

But if he is unwilling to listen, or you are unable to contact him, the unfortunately you will just have to accept it. Just call it quits, and wait until they break up. It's going to be inevitable. And when he does, he will need an old friend to speak to. This is where you come in. Be there for him. Listen, and be a shoulder to cry on.

You just have to hope that he comes to his senses as soon as possible.

Good luck!

i dont like to whine,but cut myself burn myself bruise myself am bullied and have depression and i wrote this poem about it and ive suffered with self harm for about 4 years and i would like to have feedback on whether or not its any good....sorry there sad

Words hurt
and no razor can take that away from me
my sleeves were
once white but now stained red
the truth burns
more than any match can tell
i hide
behind the blood and the bruises
i worry that
some day someone will see through me
and ill have to face the scars

The poem is a very good one.

But more importantly, have you sought therapy?

I don't know, or pretend to know what you have gone through in life. But I do know that there are people that are there to help you, without judging you.

You can confidentially seek professional help through a therapist, councilor (both available through schools), a psychiatrist, or psychologist.

You can go to your family doctor and they can refer you, or you can go to your school and ask to speak to someone.

Again, this is perfectly normal and you will not be judged. Just remember that things have a way of getting better!

In regards to the poem, once again, it's very deep. Good work.

Good luck! :)

Alright, I am not a good singer, but I do believe it can be built up over time and practice, but I don't understand certain things. One being breathing techniques. I've heard that we don't breathe properly (Which makes no sense) All this stuff about diaphragm, stomach, chest, and throat. But the thing is, I cannot tell if I'm doing it properly or how to breath the way they tell me to. It's like I'm missing an upper body monitor/sensor system and manual book that other people apparently have. They tell me not to sing with my throat and all this other stuff. I breathe how I normally breathe, so when they tell me to breathe a certain way, I have no idea how to. Any advice? And when I do try to sing, it's like I'm either shouting it or talking it. (link)
Well, breathing can happen in different ways, e.g. from your stomach, your chest, your back.

But no one can really see what you are doing wrong just by writing. Your best best is to take lessons. Singing lessons allow a trained professional to see what you are doing wrong, and tell you how to improve. You can also directly ask questions. If you want, you can just take a single lesson and ask all the questions you want.

Try googling for local schools/teachers or checking in a phone book, or by asking friends/family for recommendations.

Good luck!

How do you make a fake penis (link)
For what exactly?

For masturbation?

You shouldn't insert foreign objects in to your body. They can get stuck, break, cause bleeding, and infections.

You best bet is to buy a good quality, purpose made dildo or vibrator. Either that, or use your fingers.

Here's something annoying that is driving me nuts. I'm using Firefox on a Windows laptop. Lately it's randomly selecting words to double underline in green or orange. Click the words and you get advertising. Do I have a virus or is something I can turn off? If so how? I've seen other people online bitch about this but none have found answers so I'm putting it out to you guys. Hopefully, you know something. (link)
Here is a link:

You can just search "firefox underline words adverts" - there's plenty of stuff available online.

Alright so 13/f and I have had an ear infection 3 times this year and I got back from the cottage and I think I have another.. Last time I went in they told me there was some kinda bubble on my ear drum and I need to know how to prevent the infection before I see a doctor because I cant get in until wednesday =/ Advice? (link)
How can you cure an ear infection? The only way is antibiotics. And you must finish the course. Some people stop taking the medication as soon as they start feeling better. But the infection is still active, but just not noticeable. So stopping the medication means that they grow again. Not only does the infection start all over, but it is now immune to that antibiotic. So then you have to take a stronger one. So that's why you should always finish the course of medication.

How can you prevent infections? Eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. These boost your immune system, and prevent infections.

What next? See you doctor asap, and finish the course of medication. If you already have an infection, you can't prevent it. You can only prevent something before it occurs. So seeing your doctor for medication is your best option.

read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker