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I always get cracks on my thumb nails. LIke on the outside about a forth of the way from the tip of my nail, there are horizontal cracks that go through my entire nail. This is constantly happening and if they break, they are really short and really hurt. So I was wondering if there's any way to patch these up so it can grow out without breaking. I've tried putting cheap drugstore fake nails over them to protect them, but I have really long nail beds so drugstore fake nails are too short. I've also tried super glue and a tiny bit of toilet paper as a makeshift patch but this is unsightly and doesn't hold very well. I'm looking for an actual product that was meant for this purpose. I tried searching "nail patches" on google but just found nail art patches which is not really what I'm looking for. Thanks (link)
What you need to do is to have plenty of protein. I know this isn't going to help your nails straight away, but of your nails are brittle, it could be because of a lack of protein in your diet.

A trip to the doctors will confirm this. But protein is found in beef, chicken, pork, lamb, turkey, eggs, fish, tofu, imitation meat, beans, yogurt, etc.

Hair and nails are made of protein, and so making sure you have plenty of the stuff in your diet will help.

You can also buy hair and nail strengthening supplements in your local health food store.

Hello, I'm studying in England and doing Psychology and Criminology. I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life but I knew I loved Psychology and I thought Criminology would be interesting and good to add to it.

Anyway, in the first year we had a counselling class and I rather enjoyed it, but now I don't do any counselling classes, just basic Psychology and the foundations to Criminology. I was planning on being a therapist, getting a Masters in Psychology etc etc, but now I see I don't have a counselling class any more, is that going to cause me a problem?

I think I can swap over easily enough because the first year didn't count for anything apprently, and since Psychology is my core subject they don't mind (unlike Criminology where I wouldn't have any common knowledge) Somebody who maybe is in the field, or understands how jobs work could you please help?

Thank you x (link)

Adviceman49 has hit the nail on the head really. I can't add much to it. But here are a couple things you can do:

- I'm from England too. Try popping in to your local connexions centre if you have one. Either that, or see your careers adviser. 'Next step' is the name of the service for 19+. It's just like connexions, and I have to say, they have been SO useful and friendly towards me. Even when you're down, they're willing to spend hours with you to help you, and make a plan.

- Check . It's a great website about university study, careers, etc.

Good luck!

Male/17. I have never had sex and have never done illegal drugs. I went to urinate a little while ago and it had a slight burning sensation, after that I took a look at the hole, and pulled out a small sample of white goo. It's a little thicker than semen. I usually would mastrabate once or twice a day. But I stopped for a few days then mastrabated about 7 times yesterday. I did not mastrabate today at all. I'm worried that there might be some infection or rare STD being transmitted without sex or drugs. The ONLY sexual activity I have done is mastrabation. What is this goo? And what should I do? I don't wanna tell my mom, and I'm scared to pee now. This has never happened to me before. I shower daily, all I've had to drink today was one can of ginger ale and a lot of water. I don't want any problems with my area down there. (link)
"I'm worried that there might be some infection or rare STD being transmitted without sex or drugs"

- By definition, it is no longer a sexually transmitted disease. The "S" in STD stands for "sexually", and so if you haven't been having sex, it's probably not an STD or STI.

It sounds like an infection. But the only way to tell is by visiting a doctor. It may seem embarrassing, but it's the only way to know what it is, and to be sure. For all you know, it could be something VERY serious. Only a doctor knows.

Doctors are medically trained professionals. They don't judge you. They have spent a lot of time and money learning how to help people. They've seen MUCH worse, and they've probably seen more penises than you can imagine. So call your family doctor as soon as possible to get it treated!

Good luck.

I am a 14 year old girl born in may and i am a freshman. i am about "5.2 or "5.3 and i am probably 115 lbs. i am all muscle and im lean. i have A32 breasts and i started my period when i was 12 in February of 7th grade. my dad is "6 ft. and my mom is about "5.2 i was wondering when i will most likely stop growing according to all of that info? and how tall will i most likely be?? my feet have stopped growing and i am a 7.5 shoe size.thanks! (link)
Unfortunately, there is no way to tell really. You just have to wait for your body to stop growing when it does. I stopped growing when I was 16, but even then I was 6ft 1.

Your body usually stops growing around 18-21.

You can have a test done with the doctor. They do x-rays (I think) and measure how much space there is in between your bones. But you will be exposed to rays and it can be very costly, especially considering that it's quite unnecessary as all you need is a bit of patience.

Everybody is different, and different parts develop and grow at different rates.

So just wait and see! The surprise and wait is all a part of growing up.

so im a virgin and my boyfriend is a virgin but we have fooled around. we have been together for almost two years and i just found a bump on my vagina. is there something wrong. do i have something. i have polysystic ovarion syndrome but i dont know if its from that. should i be worried. should i go to the doctor. if so what doctor? (link)
It really depends on what kind of lump, where, size, etc.

But of course, going to the doctor is the best option.

You should book an appointment with your gynaecologist or with your family doctor as soon as possible. Your family doctor may be able to refer you.

Good luck

can you get pregnant by fingering your self & making out a lot?!?!?!? (link)
No, of course you can't.

You only become pregnant by sperm entering your vagina. Sperm is released by a penis, both during and after sex.

Fingering yourself and making out do not increase the likelihood of becoming pregnant.

Like a narrator?

Is this a compliment? Does this mean my voice turns him on or something? Or it's nothing? Apparently it's something to do with my accent, cause I've lived in various places around the world and he's only lived in the midwest. cause I was joking around and pretended to narrate something IRL
Don't read too much into it.

It just means your voice is soothing.

Soothing - present participle of soothe (Verb)
Gently calm (a person or their feelings).
Reduce pain or discomfort in (a part of the body).

i did'nt had intercourse with my love but i just touched my penis near her vagina & some fluid came out from her vaginal part which touched to my there is any chance to get pregnant??it happened after last day of her much % chance of getting her pregnant..plz tell me how should i stop this contraceptive pills...within how many days..should start giving her pills..
does pills have any side effect.. plz tell me.. (link)
I think you've asked a similar question.

What pills are you thinking? Birth control? You shouldn't give her any old pills. You need to check with the certain specific pills. And I'm not sure what country you are from, and so it depends on what contraceptives (brands) are available to you.

The best thing you can do is to ask her to take a couple pregnancy tests, two weeks after the incident. She may not even be pregnant, so you seriously need to calm down.

It's improbable that she is, but there's no harm in being sure.

So calm down. See a doctor if you must, for relevant contraception. Side effects depend on the pill.

That's all the help I can be.

Hi i had sex with my gf for the first time about a month ago we weren't protected but i pulled out extra earl so wouldent get her preggo she took a test about 2 weeks later to she if she was preggo and it came back negative we had sex after that but protected this time this was about to weeks ago. she was taking BCP, she was complaining of head aches like 2 weeks ago and today she said she didnt feel good, and that she was late on her period, is it possible that she got pregnant even though she was taking the pills and i pulled out early. i also read that after being on birth control for a while can screw up your period is that true? and maybe she just didnt feel good or nerves from missing her period. if she pregnant her parents will kill me, whats the best thing to do? (link)
The best thing to do? Firstly, educate yourself.

The pulling out method doesn't work. The penis releases pre-cum, which is a natural lubricant. This lubricant contains sperm. And so she can still become pregnant, even if you pull out.

So now, the symptoms. She could just be getting these because of the birth control, and also because of stress.

The best thing she can do is to do a few pregnancy tests. So if one isn't working properly, she has a few. And don't buy $1 pregnancy tests. Buy the best you can afford.

But if she is still worried, she should see a doctor. It's illegal for the doctor to tell her parents, or anyone else for that matter. And so she shouldn't be worried.

So yes. For next time, please use protection - for your sake.

Good luck!

How to tell someone you want to have sex with them? (link)
It depends. Is this a girlfriend/boyfriend? Or a complete stranger?

Girlfriend/Boyfriend:- You speak to them. Tell them that you are ready, and just wanted to put that out there. Explain that of course you will wait until they are ready. Just discuss it. DO NOT force them if they are not ready, or if they don't want to. That's rape, and you can be sent to prison.

Stranger:- You don't just walk up to a stranger and tell them you want to have sex with them. If you like them, ask them out. Get to know them. Build a relationship of some sort, and then go ahead with the above.

i did'nt had intercourse with my love but i just touched my penis near her vagina & some fluid came out from her vaginal part which touched to my there is any chance to get pregnant??it happened after last day of her much % chance of getting her pregnant..plz tell me how should i stop this contraceptive pills...within how many days..should start giving her pills..
does pills have any side effect.. plz tell me.. (link)
Yes there is. The penis releases 'pre-cum', a natural lubricant that contains sperm. And only 1 sperm cell is needed to become pregnant. So if 1 got in, she could in theory become pregnant.

Ask her to take a couple pregnancy test 2 weeks afte rthe incident.

Next time, wear a condom, or leave your clothes on.

This is really embarrassing & I'm not totally sure how I can describe this, but I'll give it a shot. There's something wrong with the small patch of skin between my breasts. It's gross. I'm not quite sure how to describe it but I suppose the best way I can put this is that is basically looks dirty. it's darker than any of the rest of my torso (& no, it doesn't just appear that way because of a shadow or tan). It's even kind of almost wrinkly-looking. It's NOT dirty because due to this issue, if anything, I scrub that area harder & pay more attention to it than the rest of my entire body when I shower, but it's been the same way for years now. It's really embarrassing; mind you, I don't even have to wear something slutty for it to show -- I have to make sure any top I wear shows NO cleavage, because even if you could see just the very top, it looks gross. Kind of the way that area would look on a much older woman or one with larger boobs, but I'm young & only a B-cup, so I don't understand what this could be... does anyone know what it could be? Or what I could do about it? (Scrubbing and exfoliating does NOTHING).
As you might be able to guess, it's kind of hard to ask about this because of the area, it's embarrassing, I can't exactly show you any pictures, & needless to say, Googling "dirty cleavage" wouldn't bring up the results I would hope for. :/ (link)
This could be a number of issues. My best advice is to see a doctor. It could be some sort of treatable skin issue, such as an allergy or pigment problem. So seeing a doctor would be helpful. Don't be embarrassed - doctors are medically trained professionals who have more boobs than you an imagine, and have seen much worse than this. So definitely see a doctor.

In the mean time, darker skin can sometimes be a cause of a lack of Vitamin K. You can take supplements, or have dark leafy greens such as kale, which are good sources. Google "vitamin k sources" for more.

Hope I helped! :)

so I bought my fist glasse and I was wearing it in school only when I was at grade 6
and now I got more blind so I should wear it all the day ,but when I wear it all the day my eye
I have wrinkles under my eye and it's black (grey)
and I decied to have eye sugrey to fix my eye vision when I finished my education

but the question is will those wrinkles will gone by time when I don't use the glasse again

sorry about this bad English :).I am 16 (link)
They probably won't go, but you may wish to see a doctor if you are really worried, because it may be a skin condition. Eye glasses don't usually lead to this. You may be allergic to the metal, or they may be too tight, or sometimes, dark circles are a sign of an allergy to air pollution. So a trip to the doctors won't hurt.

Here are some things you can do in the meantime though, to help with general dark circles and wrinkles:

-Drink plenty of water. This will hydrate your skin.
-Get cotton pads, and pop them in cold milk. Then, shake off the excess, and put them on your eyes as you die down. This will help. You can also do used teabags (cold), cucumber, and cotton pads dipped in rose water
-Use an eye cream specifically for eyes
-Wear sunglasses/use sun lotion
-Eat a healthy diet of plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables, but also fatty fish.

There are tonnes more tips on line. Just google "dark eyes and wrinkles" .

Hope I helped!

So, im 20 f and my boyfriend is 21 m

My boyfriend and i have been dating for almost 2 years. I love him the death. Recently i havent been happy. He moved out of his house and money has been a huge issue. I do EVERYTHING for him. i do the dishes, i do his laundry, i clean everything, i mostly pay for A LOT. i understand he doesnt have money because hes paying for rent and tv etc. but i dont have the money either figuring im only a waitress. i pay for a lot of grocies and anytime we go out, i mostly pay.. So i was kinda getting fed up with it figuring i want to be his girlfriend not his mom. Our realtionship was PERFECT before he moved out. So since i was unhappy i wanted to tell him how i felt. i went to his house, he couldnt give me the time to sit down and talk about things, i started off as im tired of worrying about him before i worry about myself. I hate how i feel guilty going out because he is on his own for dinner. He got mad and walked now im sitting here on the couch about to leave because i came over to talk. So i went to leave and he was like your really going to leave? and i was like yeah, i dont understand why you are being so cold. i honestly think we need a break from each other so we can appericate our time more. His response was honestly, i just dont want to see you at all. (that HURT my feelings so bad!) so i was like well if you change your mind, call me. This was the other day. Legit i have been crying my eyes out im depressed, he wont answer my texts. i dont know what to do. i feel like if i was ready to move on i wouldnt feel like this. did i make the right decision? i dont know what to do. i dont want to move on and im not even thinking about being with other people. i dont know what to do :( i am so regretting telling him my feelings. what hurt the most too, was when i left he didnt even run after me. didnt even want to save our realtionship i feel as if it was on a thread and he just cut it off... any response to this? thanks (link)
I think you should give him time.

It was the best thing to do, to speak to him and explain how you felt. A relationship is about being equals. You should both be allowed to express how you feel.

He was hurt, but maybe mostly embarrassed.

You should both be allowed to communicate with each other, without the other blowing up.

But like I said, just give him some time to think. He is probably hurting as well , and is contemplating what to say or do.

However, did you mean what you said regarding taking a break? If you didn't, then maybe you should contact him*. If you did, then maybe it is time for you to both take some time to do your own thing.

*If you do want to contact him, write him a nice email/facebook message/letter. Explain to him how you have been feeling. Tell him exactly why you did what you did. Don't sugar coat it. Explain that you didn't mean what you said (only if you didn't mean it), and that it would be really nice to meet up for a drink when he's free.

Let him mull over what you are saying. Don't keep texting him.

But you should keep in mind, that if he meant that he didn't want to see you again, then you may need to start the getting over him process. Keep yourself busy, go out with friends, and meet new people. It won't be easy. But don't make excuses. It's going to take time, and it may be very hard. But again, just keep yourself busy.

Good luck!

Hi! i dont have a serious problem, but i'd really like someone's opinions on this.
I've always become the third party for my friends. Whenever one of my friends hang out with their boyfriends, they will always bring me along. It is okay if it is just one of them, but i've had this problem with nearly all of my friends, i greatly dislike this.
I dont mind hanging out with them, since i do get along well with the boyfriends (im a girl, btw) but it always happens like this. they invite me, pick me up from my house, insist i come, then ignore me the whole way through to be all lovey dovey towards each other.
i have never given the impression that im upset if they don't invite me or complained that i dont go out alot (i prefer staying at home actually). in fact, i berate them for always making me the third party, often jokingly so they may not take me seriously.
i just dont understand why a lot of my girlfriends go out of their way to invite me to hang out with them and their boyfriends alone, when they much prefer to spend their time alone. it's seriously AWKWARD for me.
*sorry, i am ranting because this has happened soooo many times and with different set of couples.* (link)
Well it could be because they THINK you may feel left out and lonely. They make think, that you get the impression that they are doing things without you.

It may also be because they don't feel comfortable alone with their boyfriends, especially if you are all young.

It may also be for someone to be there, so they have someone to speak to.

What should you do? Speak to them! Nothing serious is required her, but just a "You know, I've always wondered, wouldn't the two of you rather be alone? I don't want to intrude, or feel awkward or anything" or something similar.

Just let them know that you don't mind if they do things with their boyfriends. Say that you don't mind going, but surely they would want to be alone?

Speaking to them is the only way to solve it. Either that, or you could out right refuse to go. But then, you'd never really know why then always ask you, and they may get offended.

Good luck!

About 10 months ago I started seeing this guy. We had a "thing" for awhile and eventually started dating. We were only together for a couple months. He didnt treat me very well and actually did alot of really douchey things. I was really upset one night and brokeup with him in a text message. That was about 8 months ago. This guy is a huge jerk. He's extremely full of himself, he isn't very attractive, and he doesn't have very many friends. But for some reason I can't seem to get over him. No matter what I do I can't stop thinking about him and when I see facebook poasts about him and his new girlfriend it hurts so much. I know I shouldn't want to be with him but I cant help how I feel. I also have to see him frequently because we go to the same highschool. I don't know how to get over him. It's been 8 minths since we broke up and I still can't get over him. Any advice on how to get over him would help. Thanks! (link)
There is really only one way to get over someone.

That is to keep yourself busy, and meet new people. Well, two really. But they need to be done together.

Keep yourself busy by doing what you enjoy, i.e. hobbies. Read, exercise, write, take up a sport, study, etc. This will keep your mind off him.

Secondly, go out and meet new people. Spend time with your friends and family. Go to parties, clubs (night clubs and social clubs), etc. Make new friends. Eventually, you will find someone else. Someone who is much better.

But that can't happen unless you get over him. So do it. It won't be easy, and it'll take him. But it can be done!

Good luck!

There was this boy I've been crushing on for a time now and one day, my friend gave a note to him asking if he liked me. She didn't include that I liked him though. She just wrote a note asking if I liked him. She told me when he received it, he smiled blushed a little and ripped the note up. Does he like me? (link)
Honestly, there is no way for us to know. He could have ripped it up because he didn't want to say "no" or because he was too embarrassed to say "yes" or because he was too busy.

Just speak to him. Say hi. Ask how he's been. Talk about school. Then he may be a bit more relaxed in asking you out. Otherwise, you ask him if he wants to join you and your friends in watching a movie, or getting a bite to eat, etc. Do a friend thing, as it will be more relaxed, and it sounds like you're quite young too.

Good luck.

I desperately need $500 by September 8. I have applied for multiple loans at Banks and Credit Unions and I don't qualify for them.

I can't afford the quick loan places cuz their interest is too high and Ive heard horror stories about how they rip you off.

I have already sold and pawned everything I can :'( That was really hard but I am desperate.

I don't have a car to sell.

What should I do?

I do have awesome credit and could probably qualify for a credit card. But I know nothing about them. What's the best and safest credit card? Where do I go to get one? Are their specific qualifications? And is there a way to get a safe one without going to a bank or credit union? What do you all think of Visa Credit Cards?

Is there something better that I can do to get the money fast?

The two things I refuse to do are: Sell sex and Apply for welfare or any other kind poor people program. (Nothing against those who do it).
PLEASE H5LP!!! (link)
If you have good credit, then a credit card may be a sensible idea.

But if you don't qualify for a loan, then you may struggle with a credit card. But it is worth trying.

It depends on where you live. Not only country, but state. I suggest you approach your bank, and ask if they do credit cards. But also research online. Check banks, visa, mastercard, etc, etc, etc. Just google "credit cards" and you'll get tonnes of info.

You want to make sure that whatever card you have, it's the lowest possible interest. So call around to various companies, and ask them what interest rate you will be charged.

The interest is of course, the amount they charge you for your outstanding amount. They charge you this usually every month on whatever is left. You then have to pay a MINIMUM amount every month. Of course, it is in their interest that you don't pay it all back at once, because that is how they make their money.

But before you do, ensure you can afford a credit card. Will you be able to make the payments?

And what do you need the money for? Can you ask them if you can pay it slowly, or can they give you extra time? Try to reason with them.

In short, search around. Loads of companies will offer you a credit card. But the key is to find the lowest interest. So start searching now, so you have enough time for the application, and for checking each ones fine print and details. Also be sure you can afford it, and try to reason with who you want to pay.

Good luck!

I have a past that would make anyone ashamed. I have done things that I am not proud of.I have had things done to me that I don't feel comfortable even writing down. My son was taken off me when he was a baby. (He is 2 now). My actions put me in hospital for nearly almost 6 months. I almost died. I wish I had. It would have been so much easier. I have changed though and I don't want to make the same mistakes as before. I want to be a good mum and be part of his life again. My family keep bringing up the past and throwing it in my face. They don't realise that this is starting to tip me over the edge. Is there any way that we can move on from the past and I can get forgivness for the past? I need to be forgiven or I cannot be at peace with myself. How do I show them that I have changed and want to be a better person? X (link)
The best way to show them you've changed, is to SHOW them you've changed. Let them see the difference. Be a good mother, a good member of society.

Talk to them also. Explain that you have changed, and that you're trying to start fresh. But with them bringing up the past all the time, it is very difficult. Do it calmly, and do it in person (away from the child. Don't let the children be caught up in situations like this).

Speaking to them will do wonders. It may seem uncomfortable and awkward. But it will certainly be worth it.

Good luck!


First of all, I am a desperate woman people.
Seriously, desperate.
You have no idea of the high level of desperation i find myself in. If I post this, there is a dangerously high chance someone will recognize it and know that its about me. If I dont I might actually go ape on myself. Yes, I am now fiercely camouflaging my actual doubt and desperation with humor.

About two years ago I found the love of my life. He is my first love, my first boyfriend, and I love him deerly. Let this be known, LOVE HIM -very important detail for rest of story-.

Even though I am a very socially flawed person and I probably should talk to a professional for various reasons, he wanted me to be his first girlfriend. Note that we are not in high-school so its all a little more serious than puppylove. Despite my flaws, I would describe myself as a loyal friend, who tends to neglect herself a little bit when it comes to friends and family. People have taking advantage of that, I've been bullied a lot at school blablabla insecure yadiyadah you get the point. - this may seem very much but trust me it is poignant - I have a very good relationship with my dad who had me at 57. He's been married 3 times before my mom and has been cheated on by all previous wives and I have wished them dead on more than one occasion for that.

One day my boyfriends best friend threw a new years bash at her place. There was a fancy dress code involved and I reluctantly pressed myself into a dress and heels and tried to look well..presentable. As I mentioned I am socially awkward and I get nervous around new people. For some insane reason I decided a little wine (or vodka, tequila and maybe some malibu) was a good way to get loose and socialize. There was this one guy - yep, here we go! - who I thought was always nice to me, treated me like I was used to being treated before I got a boyfriend, as one of the guys. So I generally talked with him and goofed around a bit. Now, at this point I was a little drunk. I do not remember a thing about this but people told me afterwards that I was getting emotional so I had to go outside for a bit. He, allegedly, followed me outside and the bastard tried to kiss me while my boyfriend, HIS best friend, was inside!

I really dont remember this, from the bottom of my heart, theres nothing whatsoever in my brain that says: hey, you did this.

But he got caught by someone, who then told him not to hit on his best friends girlfriend and that he was being an arse for trying to kiss a drunk girl (this is aalll hear-say, I really dont know anything about this). Strangely though, it did not occur to him to HELP ME GET SOBER or TELL ME TO GO HOME. But this is something that I would have done. Not everyone gives a fuck (yes, I blame this guy a little bit too). My boyfriend was oblivious to all this as he, too, was intoxicated greatly. I guess I managed to get a grip and ask him to bring me home crying and sobbing and mascara-ing all over his shirt. I remember a toilet - him holding my hair - and being put to bed.

This is my memory so far. Nothing more. Had it been more, I would have told you (this to avoid questions).

The guy who tried to kiss me at the party followed us, because he was tired too. This, in my state, I did not realize. My boyfriend still didnt know he tried to grope me at the party, so naturally he left a little aggravated about my drunken behavior, and went back to the party. I fell into a coma only to wake up with someone on top of me feeling me up. I, still drunk as hell as it was probably a 2hour coma, made the stupid assumption that it was my boyfriend. Naturally I started doing a little touchy feely kissy of my own only to come to the conclusion that it was not my boyfriend, but that it was that gross perv of a best friend of his trying to sex me. I dont know why, had I not been drunk I am SURE, SURE SURE, I would have performed a very nasty castration. But I wasnt. And so I just laughed. Laughed it off. He told me things like that he was hot for me, and he wanted me blahblahblah. I just laughed and asked him what he was doing and why he was doing it and i remember just being very casual about it. As if he had just dropped a mug during a hurricane or something, it just didnt seem like a big deal. More like hilarious? I dont get myself on this. One thing I remember very distinctly though: that I REALLY wanted my boyfriend to come home at that point. I called him and he came home, found me happy and bouncy and I have no clue why I was. I just was. There's another gap as to what happened between calling him and him coming home. I was happy to see him, and I wanted to hold him and go back to sleep.

The next morning I had THE biggest WTF moment anyone ever had on this earth. I didnt know what happened I just knew something bad happened and it involved my boyfriends best friend. Who was freaking sleeping in the room. I really didnt have to think about telling my boyfriend or not, I knew I had to. It was a horrible moment. Before I had even mentioned his best friends name I could see in his eyes that he knew exactly what had happened. Turns out that guy always had been a big pervy arsehole. He just gets away with it. When he woke up he acted, or not I dont know, like he was surprised and he couldn't remember a thing. He uttered some apologies and another friend who was there also advised him to leave. When everyone was gone it was disastrous. I was crying, he was crying hysterically. You do not want to hear a guy cry like that, trust me. My heart broke into a thousand pieces because I knew I was responsible for it. He believed me without question though, and for that I am so thankful.

I felt so guilty, I really hated myself for drinking that much. I knew that if I hadnt, this wouldnt have happened. I would never do something like this, its just not in my capacity. His friends all think im a slut, probably. Even though its been so long I still feel so bad. I really dont want to ever meet this guy. And I didn't have to until a few weeks ago, when I heard he's going to be at a party I really wanted to go to with my boyfriend at a friends house. I cant really talk to anyone, I tried one time with a friend of his but she totally fucked me over on that and now I'm just afraid to bring it up. Meanwhile, my boyfriend still hangs out with this dude as he is "part of the click". He did tell me that he prefers not to be alone with him, and that he would never invite him to any social event he hosts. I believe him, though it took me some time as I could never, ever forgive someone for pulling shit like that. At this party, I know my boyfriend is going to be civil, or worse, nice with this guy. For the group. If I go, I will probably have to sit there and see people be nice to this kid, my boyfriend joking around with him. I dont think I can handle that. Its just wrong. I have been deserted by friends I had for a loooong time for a LOT less. Why is that little shit still being accepted?

Bottom line: is this considered, and this word makes me cringe, something like rape? Involuntary sexual encounter? Or whatever? Have I done something to instigate this? I’ve been invisible to most guys all my life. I don’t know what flirting is, hence the conclusion that I must be too socially inept to grasp these basic forms of communication. My boyfriend seems to be completely over it. He loves me, he tells me all the time. I’m good to him. But whenever there’s a party invite, I have to ask him: Is..HE coming? And whenever this occurs I re-live all of the drama. I have nightmares again, I cant sleep. I feel horrible. I just feel all this guilt. Could it be that I have done something unfaithful but just cant remember it? It seems so unlikely. Im really starting to doubt myself. I don’t feel like the person I was before, like suddenly Im just like the girl that your mom tells you to stay away from. Because I feel like an asshole, I start to neglect myself even more in the relationship, with little things. Paying for his drinks, movies and stuff while I really don’t have the means for it. But I do. Because I feel I have to. I’m sorry its so long, I guess I had a little venting to do also..I’ll probably regret posting this at one point, but some genuine input would be greatly appreciated. (link)

I have one issue with this question, "...because I knew I was responsible for it".

That part. I don't know why you're blaming yourself. Well, I think I do. Is it because you were so drunk, you're not sure if you led him on, or said "yes" or whatever?

Regardless, this is not your fault. When he tried to kiss you, you said no. THAT was when he should have gotten the message. That may be excusable. It certainly was not moral behavior, but maybe somehow he got the impression that you wanted to kiss him. Like I remember watching a movie once. The girl was drunk. She leans in, guy things she wants to kiss, but instead she vomits all over him. HILARIOUS!

But back to the serious business. When you woke up, and you found him on top of you, that WAS rape. You had already told him that you didn't want to kiss him. Instead, he was on top of you. And you had passed out.

Even if before you passed out, you said "yes" to sex (or fooling around. And I doubt you did), if you woke up with him on top of you AGAIN, it's still rape. He has to get consent every time.

But more technically, what was he doing with you? Because different countries class rape as different things. Some only see it as rape if the mans penis enters the vagina without consent. Others see if it any body part enters.

But it's clear he was TRYING to rape you. He was taking advantage of your state.

Now regarding your boyfriend, I'm not so sure why he is relaxed about seeing him. Maybe it's because he thought you were over it (because you were bouncy afterwards?). Either way, you should speak to him and tell him how you feel. It is not completely outrageous for you to ask him not to speak to him. If it hurts you to see him being friendly with the fellow, then tell him.

What should you do now? Well I suggest calling RAINN - a free, anonymous hotline for victims of rape. They will be able to speak to you personally, and give you advice. If you're uncomfortable, then it looks like they also have an online chat system, which is pretty useful.

Here is a link to the site:

and their number: 1-800-656-HOPE

I suggest you contact them as soon as possible!

Now, my final thoughts. You shouldn't blame yourself. So often, the victim of rape is blamed. Like, if a girl is dressed showing "skin", and she is raped. People sometimes say "the girl should't have been showing skin..." ....THE HELL IS THAT?! Why shouldn't the girl wear what she wants?! Surely it's the CRIMINAL who should be punished, not the victim. And what is worse, is when the woman isn't believed. Every case of rape should be FULLY investigated.

But I think you should stop blaming yourself. The fellow is clearly a jerk, and that's not your fault.

Good luck, and I hope I helped! :)

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