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I don't know why, but everywhere I go, Oompa Loompas follow me. They laugh and call me George. I've been thinking of flying away on my spaceship i.e. banana peel and going to live on the planet of cheese-in-a-can, but I'm not sure if they have cable there. Do you have any idea if the planet has cable, or if there is any way to avoid the Oompa Loompas? Please help, they already took my sanity! 'Twas all pink and sparkly! (link)
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Who needs sanity anyway? The neon-green pikachu stole mine! HAHAHAHAHAhahHAHHhAAHhHAhahAHhaHAHahHAhahAHhaAHhahHAahHAHahHAHhahHAHhahHAHhahAHAhHAHHAhHAHAHAHhahahahhahHahahahHAHhAHHahHHhahHhHHHHHhHHshHhahaHAHahHhhahhahHahHHHahHAHHAhhHAHahakhAkhahhaHHAHcabbage.
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I always seem to have dark circles under my eyes,always. I wear glasses so they're not that noticeable but I'd still rather not have them.
I get about 9 1/2 on school nights and a little more on the weekends so it shouldn't be solely lack of sleep.
Does anyone have any ideas why I've got them or how I could get rid of them? (link)
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They're cropcircles. The aliens are landing on your face.
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So I was walking this evening and I accidently stepped into some kerosene. I just shrug it off and keep walking with my jazz hands lookin' all cool when this guy runs by and yells "That building is on fire!" So I start running towards it all like "yeah, who's your hero now?" with my jazz hands, looking cool. I get next to the firy part and my shoes are on fire randomly. Now I'm on a laptop someone gave me. What should I do?! (link)
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Ooh, who gave you the laptop? I want one!
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What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn? (link)
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Your microwave explodes, along with the right-side-up challenged popcorn in it.
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I keep seeing signs everywhere that read, "You are a brain in a vat." Is this the central computer trying to tell me that the world around me is just an illusion? Or is some philosophy major just messing with my head? (link)
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I put those up to scare the normal and confuse the easily confused. It obviously worked.
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Like, OMIGOD, i like really like this guy who i was dating for like a year and he like cheated on me and like i'm like 12 and like will he like me if i like flip my hair and like put on the right makeup and like stuff my bra, like would that get him back? i'm so desperate like, please help!
Okay, I lied. I'm 17 and I've got tears in my eyes after reading all of the questions you get and laughing hysterically. How do you put up with these bullshit questions? If I were you I'd jump through the computer and smack half these people into next Thursday. Kbye. (link)
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Hey, that's a great question! I agree with you lotses.
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please can you help me end my addiction to horribly insulting reality television shows? it's like when i'm channel surfing and one's on i can't not stop on one... the more degrading the better. i don't know what it is about seeing people exploited, i'm just facinated by it, but for some reason i feel dumber after watching these things, like they suck out my IQ or something. is there hope? (link)
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Watch anime! There's nothing healthier than an hour or two... or fifty-seven of watching anime! Or read a book! Manga are books too! Or get off yo' lazy ass and get on the computer, and pray that you won't break it. (it's really not the best place to sit.)
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A calibrated sioux engine stole Bob Marleys condom case, and now the cops are after me. I didnt do anything wrong, but still they think I broke into a museum and ate the cheese from the library display in the cadaver section a-e. I really need help and my fish broke up with me. I dont know what I am going to do with a baby on the way. We had such good times...HELP! (link)
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Oh yeah, sorry about the cheese thing. I was hungry and craving cheese. It's all gone now.
(-_-;)
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I know this may sound very stupid, and I knwo there's nothign us girls can do about it...but just let me vent...
Am I the only one who thinks it's irritationg that only girls go through periods, having the baby (even though its a blessing, but it hurts), and they are the one's who are mostly aboused by men adn get made fun of sometimes for doing certain things that men are usually known for doing most of the time, even thuogh women can too. It just makes me so mad, becasue the boys rub it in our faces and the only thing that hurts them is when they get hit in the wrong place. I'm sorry this is just stupid and I don't have anything against the males about this but I just wanted to get everything out and see if I'm the only one who feels this way.
(link)
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Okay first, you're right about not being able to stop our period (until menopause) or having babies (just dont have sex), but there is plenty you can do about the other stuff. The only reason women are made fun of when they do somethnig like burp a lot, or cuss or have sex without being called a slut. Just do it and then make fun of all of the girls and boys who make fun of you (these narrow-minded people are also know as preps, twinkies, a scary christian people, no offense to anyone who's christian, but they're really creepy! especially Bob Jones University. my oldest sis goes there. -_-;;; Scarey, ne?) And if a boy tries to make fun of you or hurt you, take a karate class, or do something that'll cost less and make him shorter than you, because if he's hurting you, all he needs is a swift kick in the pants. That should make him quite unhappy, yes. (you can tell I like reaking havok on people. MUAHAHAAHAAAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!)
(You will obey me. I am the evil overlord of the universe.)
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It's obscenely early in the morning, I've not yet gotten to sleep. How do I GET to sleep? (link)
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Bash your head against the wall, over and over and over... you might wake up in the hospital with a massive headache.
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Firstly, I'm a vegetarian. Secondly, I doubt Firstly's a word. Thirdish, I'm trying to get this girl off my back for being on! She keeps saying how, and i quote, "I mean c'mon. HAvent u gone 2 a restarant and smelt all the juicy things that include MEAT?!?" It's driving me INSANE! Help me shut her up... Please... (link)
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Is thirdish a word? TEll her to shut up. Find something that she does, or is, and annoy her to death about it. Bug her about eating all of those poor litkle baby animals. Or make fun of her hair. If you continue to have problems, Talk to me again, and I'll send my bishounen after her. No, never mind, she'd enjoy that, I'll send my soul after her. Or the psychopathic cheese doodles. Your choice.
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I'm just starting out in the guitar world, and I've been doing some research. I've decided that I want a Fender, because they've gotten good reviews and are in my price range (or the ones I've seen, anyway.)My questions consist of:
1. What's a dreadnaught? Is it bigger than a Grand Concert?
2. Are you supposed to use a pick with acoustics?
3. What is the best kind of case?
4. What's a good price (in general) for a Fender?
I think I want the Grand Concert GC-12 Acoustic, but I also might want the DG 245 Dreadnaught Acoustic.
(link)
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1 a dreadnaught is the juggernaught's little brother.
2 I don't think it matters, as long as you don't use a pick with your nose.
3 one that holds a guitar.
4 5 million trillion dollars. that's how much I'm selling my invisable neon-black fender for. *crickets chirp* Okay, I'm lying. I don't even know what a fender is. Obviously, I'm full of shit cause I rally gotta go.
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my boyfriend sometimes says that im too quiet and when he tells me to talk i dont know what to talk about and when i tell him to talk he says no because im the one thats supposed to talk.....what should i talk to him about?
(link)
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Here are some suggestions:
Anime
Manga
Television shows
The news
books
The psychopathic cheese doodles gnawing at your teacher's crotch.
None of these subjects interest you? Dammit, woman, I can only think for so long before i get distracted! I'm not all focused and lawful like the rest of you-- Oh, hey, that doggy has a funny tail! I knew i bought that lighter fluid for something...
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well I am having trouble in my 7th grade math class and my grandma wants me to get a touter.She has been buging me for ever and to me if I get a totour I will feel stupid so.. Should I or should I not get a totour. (link)
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I personally think that you should. 7th grade math can be really hard. Maybe you should stay after school one day and ask your teacher for help. (or go to school really early.) I think that you'll be much happier if you pass the 7th grade and feel stupid than if you failed it and feel even stupider. (is that a word?)
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ok i was siting with my freind today at lunch and all and i have been hanging with him quite a bit during school and stuff and i am confused about how i feel about him because becuase today i was partners with him in the wieght room and we were having a blast and all then at lunch our friends went to sit with other people so it was just me and him and i was like in my head gosh i feel like a geek and stuff but as we talked i was reall comfy with him and stuff and other times i just think of him as a friend i mean right now i would never be able to see my self kissing hin but i sometimes could see us hugging and stuff and then lik yesterday i was like 'f you matt" kidding around and he knew it and then he was like " i love you too becah" and i was like you love me and he was like sure so i dont know no how i feel casue sometimes i kinda like him like him and other times i only like him as a friend (link)
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maybe you love him as if he were your brother? If you don't wanna lose your friendship, don't ask him out. If you think you could still be friends if you ever broke up with him, ask him out. If you know you would never break up (because the oracle told you so) then ask him out. If you're eating pocky, then can I have some? Strawberry pocky ish da yumm!
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I've been leaving my window open at night because the room is so hot, and some time within the last month I have developed an odd crawling, painful sensation in my stomach. At night I have interesting dreams about creatures laughing and poking me with sticks and blue lightning coming from the ground. I am beginning to think I'm in serious trouble.
The thing I'm wondering most is, am i carrying a demon child or an alien one? I would much rather have a demon child, because with aliens, who knows? I find demons a bit more amiable and predictable. Plus, demons generally speak English. Can anyone tell me if I'm pregnant by a demon or an alien? (link)
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Take a pregnancey test! Or go see your doctor. Don't tell him/her that it might be an alien or demon, though, cause then you'll be joining me in the loony bin. Besides, it may not even be a demon or an alien. How do I know that? Ur, nevermind. I'll stop letting the mutant sea-chipmonks out at night. They stole my cheetos anyway, the bastards. (I think that your local drugestore should have pregnancey tests.)
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sometimes i feel like my weight is getting to high ...although everone tells me i am not fat i feel it and i dont want it! i cant go running i never am able to keep it up....i cant help my self to foodS! i crave easy how can i solve this without those traits! (link)
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If everyone tells you you are not overweight, I'd assume you aren't. Who says running is the only form of excercise? Go WALKING or bike riding, or join a sport. And dont NOT help yourself to food. If you're hungry, eat, but make sure what your eating is healthy.
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Why are squirrels such vicious and demonic rodents? (link)
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Okay, as the Squirrel Murderess, I have to reply.
Squirrels are part of a secret goverment agency. They are the "big brother" always watching you. You know that chatter-y sound they make? They're communicating with the computers that are programmed into their brains, which sends the information it collectors.If theres a large amount of squirrels near you, somethings going down. So catch squirrels and send them to me to kill and reprogram so there wont be any problems.
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I've heard that some babysitters take classes at local hospitals or community centers. What do they teach you? Are they worth it? Does it matter where you go to take them? (link)
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Its worth it, believe me. Most classes are only 10-15 dollars, and you learn lots of first aid things that you will not know, I gaurentee you. If they certify you in CPR it might be slightly more expensive, but its an awesome skill that helped you EVERYWHERE, not just babysitting.
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What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn? (link)
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The microwave will explode, killing you due to extaneous amounts of radiation.
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