ask orphans



read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators



This is the account that questions and answers from abandoned accounts are assigned to.
Member Since: January 14, 2006
Answers: 11758
Last Update: February 16, 2011
Visitors: 80991

Main Categories:
Colleges & Universities
Job Searches
Personal Finance
View All

Favorite Columnists
karenR
Razhie
iSLAND_iNTHE_SUNx0
The_MoUsY_spell_checker
DangerNerd
Cux
spacefem
christina
Erinn_the_bamf
AdviceMistress
masterclinic
more...
um i was wondering becuse if i was married i would want only one daughter and not have too many kids what can i do to prevent having too much children please help me (link)
Are you asking how to prevent pregnancy?

Or are you asking how to find out how many children are too many?

For the first, it's obvious. Use protection. If you both agree, either of you can get permanent birth control in the form of surgery. Either a hysterectomy or a vasectomy, for men or women, respectively.

But this is a very serious decision to make, and you should both mull it over together. Of course, this only makes sense if you both want to not have any more children, and if you both see each other as life-long partners.


To the second question, only have as many children as you can afford. Although it's amazing to have more children, it's pointless if you cannot care for them. So figure out how much money you have, and if you can afford to take time off work. Then figure it out that way.

Be sure to speak to your financial adviser/doctor regarding any issues you have. Good luck :)


My boyfriend fingered me last month and this month i expected to get my period October 1 but it didnt come.. But am getting cramps (link)
Does your boyfriend happen to have a penis where his finger should be?

What I'm saying is, you can't get pregnant from someone fingering you.

You should see a doctor, because it may be something serious.


hello! 3 months ago me and my boyfriend had nicknamed sex but he cummed outside near vagina and then i was afraid to get pregnant , but after month my period came normal ,and my period is usually come late every month , but this time has gone 40 days .
so i want to know if it is impossible to get pregnant or not? or whats the problem why it come late ? or why it does not come till now?
am afraid!!
thanks. (link)
See a doctor.


im ready to quit construction and find a differant job a job that will allow non smoke breaks and a day off as in not going to work everyday so please what kind of jobs are there ps no construction jobs thank you (link)
Well there are all sorts of jobs that aren't construction. Every single job out there where you aren't building something, has nothing to do with construction. And so it really depends on what experience you have.

Just have a look at the types of jobs that require the experience you have. There are many job search sites out there. But without knowing your qualifications, and the type of jobs you want to do, it's impossible to really advise you further.

However, it is terribly hard to find a job in this economy. So be sure not to quit your existing job until you get a new one.


Good luck.


My boyfriend's birthday is coming up and I want to do something special for him in a sexual sense, he shares his birthday with his daughter so most the day we are going to be doing children things, and then go to dinner with his parents. He won't have much of a chance to do his own thing and I wanted to surprise him when we got home, I bought some nice lingerie but I'm not sure what to do beyond that.
When it comes to sex he does mostly everything, I want him to just sit back and relax though. But I don't have a clue, when I'm on top we just can't get in rhythm with each other, I don't know what to do and I don't want to feel foolish when I make an idiot of myself in the bedroom, it's his special day and I want to make him feel special.
Any tips or advice? (link)
The key is to relax. Is there something that he particularly enjoys? You could maybe ask him. Don't make it obvious though. Just casually ask.

There are many positions you could 'use'. You can get a book from a store or the library, or of course check online. Pick a few you think he would like, and just try them out. Don't worry about looking like a fool - you should be completely relaxed around each other.

You could also give him a massage. Check out hot oils, or maybe a 'nuru' massage, if you don't mind getting a little messy.

But the key will be to relax, and find out exactly what he likes. Remember to take it slow, so you both last long.

Have fun!


How do u get ur bf to be all lovey dovey with you (link)
If you want him to act this way, speak to him.

But realize that this sort of behavior is not for everyone. If he doesn't want to, he shouldn't have to force it.


can anyone tell me wat happens in the book lygaya i have a test tmrw and i dint read the book... PLZ HELP ME!!! (link)
I doubt anyone will. I have googled it, and it is a French book. I don't know of any French users on this site. Maybe someone who has studied French may have read it.

But seriously, this may be what you need to teach you a lesson. It sounds harsh, but you have to learn that there is a point of homework. It is to expand your mind beyond school. So if you were told to read it, you should have. Failing the test may just give you the motivation to do what is asked of you in school. If you are struggling however, it is best to speak to your teacher.

Good luck.


So I have wavy hair and I really want beach waves. I don;t feel like using any heat products just because I hate using heat items. I just want beach waves from ike braiding but whenever I braide my hair it looks crimped and I tried bigger braides but it just wore off. Don't even get me started on salt spray. I used it once. Ugh it was terrible. At first it looked cute but, further on it started to seriously mess up. I hated it. And my hair got dry too and tangly. So Is there any other methods? Not like that bun one too unless you've got a great tutorial. Last time I tried that it just went funky. Thanks fro reading! Please help meh (link)
Hi,

I think salt spray is seriously the best option. I use it sometimes. There are quite a few brands out there, so experiment and try them out. They're not all bad. I find Bumble & Bumble is a good brand.

Also, try "Samy Fat Hair 0 Calorie Thickening Spray". It's similar to salt spray, but doesn't leave that horrible grittiness you sometimes get with salt spray. I use this product nearly everyday.

You could also try a powder boost. It's a powder that you put into your roots, and then massage in. I'm not a scientist, but I'm guessing that it sucks up all the moisture. This gives it a really powerful boost. Again, it makes your hair sort of dry and your roots will feel disgustingly dry for a while.

Also, a little mouse (hair mouse) will help give that flicky texture.

Hold it all together with hairspray. I use Samy Fat Hair 0 Calorie Thickening Hairspray. The products are pricey, but I buy all mines when it's a buy 1 get 1 free promo. And whenever I go to the shop, it's ALWAYS on promotion.

So go for this -

1. Wash hair
2. Keep it in a towel until damn
3. When damp, spray your spray of choice. So this will be either salt, or thickening spray
4. Either use a hairdryer (be also sure to use heat protection) or let it dry loosely.
5. When nearly dry, put a little bit of mouse in your hands, and rub. Then apply to your hair. Not just on the outside, be sure to get your roots and inside too.
6. When your hair is completely dry, get some powder boost, and sprinkle it onto your roots (after you've parted it). Rub into your roots, and finish.

If I had to guess on how to go for the style, I would take the above approach.





Good luck!


Hey! i want to know how to do anal sex? (link)
Firstly, you give very little detail. Will you be penetrated, or penetrating?

Secondly, no-one will give you graphic details for this type of answer. May I suggest a Google search for this type of query?


I bumped into this girl who i knew of back in high school but we never realIy hung out or talked, anyway so i got her number and i called her the following week and talked to her but didnt ask her out. then i called her twice more after but both phone calls were short because she said she was busy doing things. So at that point I thought she was not interested at all, then a few days later I got this text " sorry for being so short on the phone with you when you called, but I have been really busy.i will message you if and when my schedule frees u. Have a good one". So is she interested or she's just being friendly? What should I do? (link)
It's hard to say. She may actually have been busy when you were speaking to her. Either that, or she just didn't want speak to you.

My advice is to wait a couple days, and then ask if she wants to go out for a beverage or lunch. If she say no, then ask her to suggest an activity or day/time she prefers. If she doesn't get back to you, it's safe to assume she isn't interested.

But don't keep messaging/ringing her. It'll come off as desperate, needy, and pathetic. Play it cool.

But that's the only way to really know to be honest. Remember, if she says no, leave it at that. Don't get down or upset. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and move on.

Good luck!


19/f

I'm taking a Japanese Culture class and I was told to come up with some questions to ask an international Japanese student about my topic. My topic is Japanese Cherry Blossom festivals. I have to come up with questions that the students would be able to understand and some research questions for myself to research. I have to write a 5 page double spaced paper due to these question's answers. I'm not asking for the answers to these questions, I'm asking for what questions I could possibly ask. Here's the format:

Research Questions: (general but critical/analytical questions for you to discuss in your paper)

Questions to Japanese partners: (need to be concrete and specific so that non-native speakers can handle them)

These are the ones I came up with so far:
1. What is the Japanese Cherry Blossom Festival?
2. When is the Japanese Cherry Blossom festival held?
3. What activities are in Japanese Cherry Blossom festival?

Please answer ASAP if you can think of questions quickly, I am terrible of thinking of any. :(

(link)
How do people celebrate the festival?

Do different areas celebrate the festival differently?



How do you set up a pre-paid funeral? I don't want my family to have to deal with this when I pass away. Who do I talk to to do this? I am afraid that if I did it with the local funeral home and then I passwed away on a trip it wouldn't count and they would still have to pay for my burial. How does this work? (link)
Hello,

I've never heard of pre-paid funerals, but there are some more conventional steps you could take:

1. You could open a bank account, and put some money aside in there to help with the funeral. In your will, you can state that this is what you would like the money to be used for.

2. You could take a life insurance policy out. Google some insurers, and ask around. Be sure you're getting a good deal though. There is no point paying in $50 a month if you are very young at the moment, because the payout will probably be much less. This is how they make their money. Be sure to also check the terms and conditions. Many insurers don't pay out if the deceased has committed suicide (which I hope you are not planning on doing, because it is never the answer).

But googling "pre-paid funerals" has seemed to bring up a few results. I'm from the UK, and so if you're from another country, I'm not sure how much what I've found will be useful to you. You could always ring the funeral homes up and ask if you could pop round for a quick chat. Then discuss any issues or questions you have.

Good luck!


F17
It's been a while sense I had sweaty hands but it only seems to happen when I feel this pain on my stomach it's like pressure I aways use gum and mints to calm me down and it works but it only lasts a little because I get sick of the chewing but its like a presure that I could sometimes control by puting less force on my musles or taking air.. Any advice is great thanks!(: (link)
This is a matter for your doctor. Stomach pains and sweaty hands (overly sweaty) are not good signs. It could be something serious!

Good luck!


Is it more bisexual to get your dick sucked and rubbed or suck a dick and rub them? I would want to expierament maybe once and see if I like it but I still wouldn't be bi or gay I I don't like it? That's what I think. I think I'm hit a curious teenager going through puberty (link)
Bisexuality is not something that is measurable. So you can't be more or less bisexual. That's like saying, "I'm more sleeping now than I was earlier".

Experimentation is completely normal. If you enjoy it, then it's okay. If you don't, then it's also fine. But during your age, your hormones are all over the place, and so you'll be confused.

But yes, bisexuality is not measurable.


So for the past couple of days I have been really stuffed up. I cant breathe through my nose and my throat hurts really bad. I dont have a fever and otherwise I feel okay. It's worse in the morning when I wake up. Then as the day goes on I take Sudafed and Ibuprofen and that seems to help a bit. Is it allergies or does it sound like I have a virus or cold? (link)
There is really no way to know to be honest!

Your best bet would be to see a doctor. Not only for a diagnosis, but also ensure that you don't take too much of the wrong medication (which can have negative side effects).

Hope I helped!


I am a twelve year old girl from NZ. I keep getting bullied by this girl in my class, and her guy friend (NOT boyfriend)One of them is african, and one is mexican. They always call me really mean things, and sometimes shove me and other stuff like that. They walk the same way home as me so I have to suffer it for 20 mintues everyday.Telling a teacher won't help, as the bullies will do it anyway (already tried) and I can't tell any other adults because they just make the problem worse. Please help me! (link)
You should tell your parents. If they speak to the school, they will take it more seriously, because the top rank of the school is much more afraid of what parents will do.

So tell your parents to speak to the school. The school will hopefully tell the bullies' parents. Every child will take their parents more seriously than a teacher. The chances are that the parents don't know that their children are bullies. So they will have a word with their kids and tell them to stop.

So definitely tell your parents! It may seem like a conversation you don't want to have, but it's really the only way to help it. Bullying is a terrible, terrible thing. It's really best to stop it as soon as possible before it gets worse, and before they start terrorising loads of other people, in childhood and adulthood.

Good luck!


hey everyone!
so i like this guy, and i think (not sure) if he likes me! i want to ask him out (yes, i am sure baout this)! so, i was thinking before asking him out i would say, "hey, if i asked you out, would you go out with me?" if positive, i'll ask him out.

however, if he says no, what are some good responses? also, cute ways to ask him out are good too, the more As the better!

thanks so much! xoxo hallagal

additional info: we're in middle school (i know its young, its a lighthearted relationship) (link)
There really isn't a good comeback to that, if you want to make it look like you're not interested.

My advice is to simply ask if he wants to do something out of school, e.g. go to get a bite to eat, watch a movie, etc. That way, if he says no, you can just make it look like you asked him as a friend. If he says yes, you can use that as a way to let him know you're interested.

But if you want to do the whole "if I asked you out..." thing, he's going to know that you're interested. Even if he says no, he will know. There are of course positives to that, because he know for sure that you like him. It can also make it awkward however, if he says no.


Hi everyone. I started junior high awhile ago and I just... I don't like my body! This guy (He has gone to school with me since 2nd grade; I was skinny, then fat, then now i'm a little heavy) always says immature things like "Miss Piggy" and all this crap. I'm getting tired of it!

Anyways, I just dislike my body. Not because people call me heavy, but i'm just not happy.

The whole "diet" thing doesn't work well with me. But I don't eat like a chocolate bar everyday or anything. I actually probably eat one every month. I know I should be on a diet, but I just think excersizing would be easier(believe it or not).

So i've been doing about 40 or 50 sit ups everyday but I don't think it's enough! I think I should do something else but I don't know what to do. Please don't say for me to do less or anything. I just... I need an excersize plan!

Thank you so very much and take care. Sorry if this was long! (link)
Hello,

Firstly, you should tell a teacher or your parents if you are being bullied at school. That fellow is clearly an immature idiot, and so that would be the best thing to do.

In regards to diet, it's very important. Weight loss depends on both diet and exercise. 80% diet, and 20% exercise. So although exercise is very important, diet is too.

Make sure you eat plenty of fruit and vegetables. Also have some protein (chicken, turkey, beef, fish, lamb, pork, eggs, tofu, beans, etc). Reach for wholegrain carbohydrates rather than white, processed stuff (pasta, rice, bread, etc). Keep fat to a minimum. When you do, stick to healthy fats such as fatty fish such as salmon, and olive oil. Avoid junk food, fizzy, sweetened drinks, etc. Drink water when you feel thirsty. If you crave a snack, then have a glass of water first. The brain doesn't really understand the difference between feeling peckish and thirst.


In regards to exercise, you want to do plenty of cardio. This is anything that involves sweating. Doing sit ups won't make a difference if you have a layer of fat covering your mid-section. You want to get rid of the fat first, then tone the muscles. Do around 30 minutes of exercise a day if you can. Stuff like jogging, walking, running, walking the dog, riding a bike, swimming, etc. Don't do weight training as your body is still growing. Your bones can become deformed if you do weight training whilst still growing.


Because you're so young, you're still growing. This means that you must not starve your body of nutrients, and you musn't work out TOO hard. Just use common sense. 30 minutes of exercise is the recommended amount for people. And eating a healthy diet is just common sense. Just try to be as healthy as you can. And don't starve your body, or work it too hard, as you still need to grow.

So just use common sense.

Good luck!


Is it stupid for me to be irritated with myself that i still haven't lost my virginity at 18? I've only had one boyfriend, 2 years ago..And I'm slightly ashamed of that..not about not having sex yet, but It's irritating to me because I want to lose my virginity. Not just to some random guy, I want to find a guy and be in a relationship with him and have sex with him..I know it's not something you're just suppose to give away, but I've been wanting to have sex for suchhh a long time. It's like i'm sexually frustrated even though i've never done it before. I feel like masturbation is definitely not cutting it, or not getting the job done i should say. thats probably tmi but yeah...idk what im asking really. just want some advice.
-18 female (link)
This is perfectly normal, and admirable! A lot people are like rabbits: doing it like crazy for the heck of it. It takes something very special to control yourself.

Now, if you are looking for a boyfriend with whom you can share your life, then there are a couple things you can do:

1. Go out and meet new people. Go out with friends, take up hobbies you enjoy, generally socialize etc, etc. You will find people you have something in common with, and that's a great basis to a relationship.

2. Ask friends if they know anyone that is single, and whether they'd be interested in going out.

Don't appear to be a sex starved maniac. You want to get to know the person as a human being first. Then, when you are both ready, you can take it to the next step.

Good luck!


I just adopted a year old cat from the humane society and took her to a free exam at a local vet.

She's completely healthy but the vet said I should bring in a fecal sample to test for internal parasites.

He really scared me with all the talk of how they can harm humans. But they're really expensive and with buying the cat and all her things I can't really afford that this month.

I would like some advice from experienced pet owners, please.

Do you have your cat tested for internal parasites even if they're completely healthy?

Are they THAT big of a threat to humans as long as you wash your hands after cleaning the litter box and before you eat?

I mean, people had house cats ALL THE TIME before things like internal parasite testing existed and I've never heard of the great blinding epidemic from house cats..

I'm worried... but I really can't afford it this month.

(link)
Hi,

I'm going to address your question in points:

1. Of course you should test your pet for internal parasites, as although the animal may look healthy from the outside, you never know what is going on inside. Of course some pet owners will say that they've never had their pet tested and it's been alive for as long as they can remember. That's just irresponsible.

2. They are a threat. Some forms of media claim that some parasites can cause schizophrenia in humans. But of course different parasites have different effects. According to a study, cat parasites infect 350,000 people every year just in Britain!

3. Of course people have had house cats for many years before such technology became available to test for parasites. But people also only lived to 30 (if you were lucky) at one point.

And it's not only dangerous to humans. It can severely affect the cat, and parasites can kill them. That's more important than making sure it doesn't spread. Because if you can nip it in the bud by testing early, then you're okay.

Some parasites can also travel between any warm blooded animals.

So, you should ask your vet if they have some sort of payment plan. Get it tested as soon as possible, because it's the responsible thing to do.

Animals are very expensive things, and if you find yourself struggling, it may be the best option to re-home the cat so that it can live comfortably.

But of course, speak to your vet as soon as possible, and ask their advice. Going an extra few days won't be a huge problem. Just ask them if it would be okay to wait, and if not, whether they have a payment scheme whereby you pay a little amount every so often. I'm sure they will understand, because everyone finds them selves short of a few pennies before payday.




read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop

eXTReMe Tracker