Member Since:January 13, 2008
Last Update:November 16, 2012
Hi. I'm 14/f and my boyfriend an I have been talking about having sex. He really wants to and was respectful enough to just ask instead of trying to pull my pants off, unlike my ex's and I've told him that I don't want to and he knows how I feel about the whole thing so he hasn't asked that question exactly, but he has hinted a couple times and got the same answer and then yesterday he brought up the topic of masturbating and right away this came to my head;
If I don't have sex with him but still satisfy him somehow (by masturbating for him & letting him watch and masturbate if he wants to) then is that wrong? Of course I don't want to tease him by telling him that I have this idea and then not do it so my question is;
Is this wrong? I'm 14/f, virgin and I want to stay virgin until my wedding, by the way
Thank you for all answers!
Yes it's wrong, but not because of your age. By 14 most boys and girls dont know what they're ok with (sexually) so they end up regretting what they did as teenagers. It's obvious that you don't know what you want out of it; you say you want to wait till marriage but you dont know why that is, your not confident that it's what you will do (not should do).
You need more time to think about this; so try this. Clear your mind of everything that you've been told your whole life about sex. Your parents, friends, family, church, class mates. All of they're opinions do not effect your thinking right now. And now that your blank think what will make YOU happy.
This is something that can't be answered in one sitting; think it over for a while.
Im Gunna tell you how I came across my answer (short version), hoping that it'll help.
My family is catholic so my parents waited till they were married, I wanted the same thing as a young teenager but after thinking about it for some time and being in a relationship I learned something I did not know back then. Sex was being taught as something BAD (unless it was done after marriage). It was very narrow minded to me and I'm as open minded as it gets, so for that and many other reasons I split away from the church. I found someone about a year later and after sometime of being together I knew I wanted to have sex. It wasn't for my own selfish reasons (to feel good), it was because I felt sex would satisfy my need to be as close as I could to her and I was right. It wasn't bad, it was perfect and we had a great relationship. Even though it ended I don't regret it at all; that's because I waited for Someone I loved.
I hope it helped but if it doesn't what I'm trying to say is make sure it feels right; that you think about it and don't do it if your so confused. Because I'f your confused then you'll most likely end up regretting it
(Rating: 5) Thank you for saying the exact words "If you're confused then don't do it" because I've been thinking about it all day and now I'm sure it won't be very smart if I did anything sexual right now. I have school to worry about now and a boyfriend at my age apparently isn't really a boyfriend so thank you and yes all of what you said made sense. Once again thank you for answering my question.