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I have gone from younggrandma to just yg. Now,
I am using my real name.
I don't think anyone who knows me will have trouble figuring out who that is!

I have been gone a while dealing with things in my own life. I am back now to help once again. Do not expect answers from me that just tell you what you want to hear. Life is to short for nonsense. :)
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Gender: Female
Location: KANSAS
Occupation: Homemaker,EMT, ER worker, Medical assistant
Member Since: March 4, 2005
Answers: 10044
Last Update: June 30, 2015
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Ok I have a boyfriend who is in jail and we have a 1 yr old together. And lately he has been asking me question's that have alot to do with cheating or when was the last time I talked to a guy on the phone stuff of that nature. And he had recently made a comment of how he is the same person and has changed as well as making a comment of when he come home and a guy call my phone he would hate for our son to his mother get the fuck smacked out of her. This is making me just wanna like call it quits and run for the hills, because I refuse to introduce this type of life to my son. I have seen and been throw it before. HELP WHAT SHOULD I DO? (link)
Go with your instincts. Call it quits & head for the hills. DO NOT look back either. Keep on going.

Sounds to me as if he plans to spend his life behind bars. Not even out yet and already threatening you. Follow your instincts and just stay clear away from this guy. No more contact.
Do whats best for you and your child.

I'm 15 and a girl. I masterbate almost every night. Is it bad? My parents don't know I do but I'm always scared of getting caught. (link)
You are perfectly normal. You are not bad.
No need for your parents to know (unless you just want to discuss it with them).

Getting caught is always a possibility. Always lock the door.

Can you get arrested or filed as a sex offender if caught having sex inside your car In california? (link)
I suppose you could. More than likely you would just get a ticket. You could be charged with
open lewdness, disorderly conduct, public nudity etc.

I doubt you would be considered a sex offender unless you were having sex with an underage person.

Well okay.. i was dating this guy 4 over a year. V belonged 2 different religions 2 begin with.. and he had lots of other issues. I thought i was in love and i was blind 2 some extent.. But he was into me madly. When things weren't working I tried 2 ditch him which resulted in him cutting himself.. I met another guy.. fell actually in love and moved on.. But his mom died and i left him within 6 months of that mishap. Somewhere down i feel guilty as he is still no over me. Should I apologize ?? :( (link)
His problem. Just move on. It doesn't matter how or when or for what reason a relationship ends. Someone won't be ready or the end & someone will be feeling guilty.

Don't apologize & don't have contact with him. He will never move on himself if you don't.

Hi this is a quick question.

me and my boyfriend are planning a family, he already has a child with a woman who he never see's because of the mother and whose tried to split us up numerous times. He knows I'm not fond of the thought he has a child (I've never met him and don't want to either that's not the issue.)

The issue is well there's two.
One: I'm worried he'll always compare our child to his, as in I've read lots of comments from parents saying nobody could ever give them the feeling their first born did, the other kids had to earn the affection and that thought tears me apart since it'd be my first child and then the other thing I think is since he rarely gets to see the other kid it would have a lot more meaning to him when he does, while the child we have who he would see everyday might seem so much more trivial... ontop of everything else theres a huge questionmark over whether the first is even his since they look nothing like each other and the ex slept around alot and was sleeping around when it would of been concieved

The other question I need is we have a clash of oppinion. his first kid has his name as a middle name and he told me if we had a son he'd want our son to also have that name. I feel like that's taking the piss though, parden my french, my child will be mine I don't want them to have any association with the other one at all especially not to share a name! I think he'll take that the wrong way but as I have brothers myself, my eldest got the privilege of having my dads name, and in my eyes that's what it is, a privilege that another has already gotten. If you could maybe help me find a way to explain this feeling to him it would be greatly appreciated as I don't think I've said anything wrong in my opinion. and no comments about how horrible I am to dislike a child, that's my own feelings and we already talked that one through, he's fine with it. (link)
Well...You will just have to rate me bad because quite frankly this relationship is doomed from the get go.

He already has a child. You do not have to like that child, but it is his. YOU may be able to just write his already existing kid off, but if he is a good guy, he will not. If you think about it, would you really want a man who could? If you do not accept that child, you will one day be history.

He may go along with not seeing his child right now, but one day he will want that child in his life & will see you as part of the reason he doesn't. If you want a man who is good to you and your children, help him be part of his first child's life weather you like the child or not.

Parents don't tend to favor one child over another. Comparing them to each other though just happens. Not in a negative way, just as in one is not as good at sports as another, or one is better in music etc.

Since he doesn't often see his first child, of course when he does it will be special. Can't help but be. Another reason that child should be a part of his everyday life. If there is doubt of the child's paternity, the sooner he finds out the truth the better.

I think the way you explained the name thing was fine. I would tell him just that way. I don't think I would rush into having kids until you resolve all issues with the first child. They won't go away and will cause you problems down the road. If you are looking for a long term relationship, do it right from the start.

Best of luck.

ok,i am 13 in my class loads of people are in a relationship. im what you could say a black sheep,i dont hang out in a huge group i move about. I get called a lezbian cus i am a tomboy and i dont have a boyfriend,kinda unfair. I'm not classed as ugly i got offered places at child modeling studios and what not but i just can't get a boyfriend the boys i did have crushes on all said no when i gathered the courage to ask them out. please hel, any advice on what to do?? (link)
Keep in mind that 13 year old boys tend to be a bit immature. You are going to have to be patient. Stop worrying about getting a boyfriend and just try to make friends with them. If you are a tomboy it should be pretty easy. You probably have a lot in common with most of them.

Is it the boys or the jealous girls who are doing the name calling? I am gonna just guess it is the girls. Ignore them. They are jealous because they know the guys they like could be attracted to you one day soon.

So, just try to be friends. Once you stop worrying about it, it will happen before you know it!

I'm sorry if this is long or conceded. I used to have an awesome life. I was overweight from about 2000 to 2006. In late January 2006, during my senior year of high school, I had noticed that I had gained weight over Christmas, so I started counting calories and lost about 30-35 pounds or so by the time I started college. I loved my new body, had more confidence than ever, got hit on by guys more, got a lot of compliments, and all of my friends and family were proud of me, which was awesome. Long story short, I gained a little back in 2008 and quite a bit more in late 2009. I'm not here to make excuses for myself, but counting calories hasn't worked for me like it used to and nothing else has been effective. I try not to, but sometimes I really, really hate myself for reaching my high school weight again. I've already asked a relative to go on a diet with me after new years, but I don't think I can forgive myself for the past few years. Then, the other night at a grocery store, a guy oinked at me and even though I got mad at first, I got over it almost immediately by telling myself that I deserved it and when I think about jokes people made about me in high school, I don't get mad because I say I deserved that as well. I don't deserve any better because I had a good body and screwed it up. Is this normal? (link)
Well people do feel they deserve a lot of things that they don't. Women stay with men who abuse them because they somehow feel they deserve it. So what you are feeling isn't unusual.

What you have to get through your head is that people come in all different sizes. If you want to lose weight then you can try. The main thing is what weight do you feel comfortable at? Your main goal is just to feel good about yourself.

There are some rude people out there. I have heard them treat skinny girls just as rudely.
They are just mean people. You do not deserve to be treated that way at all. hard as it is ignore those types.

The best way to lose weight is just to try to eat healthy. Start walking more. My personal secret is stay away from anything that says "diet" on it. The aspartame in there will actually cause you to gain weight.Once you lose weight you will just become more active. That will help a lot too.

Best of luck to you.

I'm a 13 year old girl. I'm in a long distance relationship with a 16 year old guy. I love him, but i really don't feel like talking to him, and i don't really have any emotions at the time. I'm not happy, sad, mad, or anything. I just feel nothing right now. I want to cry right now, but i can't, and like i said i'm not sad. I don't know what to do. Am i depressed? (link)
I don't know that you are depressed. Depressed people are usually overwhelmingly sad feeling.

Long distance relationships really aren't a great idea for teens. At your age you need to be out there dating and having fun. Its part of growing up and learning about relationships. When you get into a long distance relationship you don't feel you are able to do that. THAT is probably a lot of the problem you are having.

I would suggest that you talk with your guy. Tell him you want to remain friends and talk online but that you need to have a life where you are. Keep in touch & if it is meant to be you will get together again when you can both be in the same place. Its just the smart thing to do.

16/f Three years ago I was sexually abused by my boyfriend. Since then I haven't dated anyone. Over the past four months I have come to really really like this guy. He asked me out the other day and I said yes. Now I feel weird about it. Frightened, awkward... We haven't seen each other since I said yes. And I still feel weird about it. I'm confused and unsure of what to do :/ Thanks for the help ahead of time. (link)
As hard as it is just remember he is not the guy who abused you. Give him a chance. Once you feel you can trust him with it, let him know you were abused by a former boyfriend. He needs to know why you will probably get nervous & upset should he try to move things along to fast. You need to take things slow and really get to know him before you take things to that level.

Best of luck. :)

So there is this boy that I have a crush on. We met in August and became pretty close quick. I'm almost positive he was interested in me. Unfortunately it kinda fizzled out and I think it was because I was trying to play hard to get which did not work as planned. How do I spark things up again and get him to realize that I wasn't trying to avoid him? It was just a failed attempt to flirt. Thanks!! (link)
Tell him straight up you were playing hard to get & you think you may have done to good of a job of it.

Honestly is always the best policy. Good luck!

My dad wasn't home ... My dog ate my Reese's peanut butter cup is he going to die he is a Yorker and is 1 year old. (link)
Chocolate is not good for dogs and it can kill them if they eat enough of it. I think your dog will be ok. Just remember to keep chocolate out of reach in the future. Here is a web page that has symptoms to watch for just in case. If he is doing ok now though I would say he will be fine.|pcrid|8495885815|pkw|[keyword_text|pmt|b&gclid=CL-koIXJubQCFcaiPAodGT8Aow#.UNu2z6w4eSo


Okay, well me and D (the guy I like) have liked each other for 4 years now. But, we haven't actually dated. A year ago he moved away like 4 hours away. He does keep saying we will date “soon”. I ask him why not now he says the distance and he's scared? I'm willing to date him when we live this far away... Why isn't he? Is it natural for him to be scared of distance or no? Why would he be scared? (link)
Hes probably scared & doesn't want to do the long distance thing because it usually doesn't work.

At 15 you should be going to school dances and having fun. You should be dating many different people until you find the right one for you. D may be the right one for you. If so, you will find one another again when the time is right.

It sounds like you have an awesome 4 year friendship so far. Keep that up, but also have fun where you are with those around you. He is politely telling you that he is going to be doing that too.

I know you hate to hear it, but, 15 is to young to be in a serious committed relationship. Have fun & you guys will be together one day if its meant to happen.

Ok so I'm 25, I'm a female, and pretty much I'm in love with a guy that isn't aware of my existence at all...
We are both from different states,
I first spotted him on Myspace, to facebook, and even twitter...
I thought he was the cutest guy ever, but I'll never
approach a guy, so I just like watched him, from the way he interacts with his friends, I love looking at his pictures, and judging from them he has a sense of humor out of this world.
Like he's the most gorgeous man I've ever laid eyes on, I love the way he dress, he's swag is out of this world...
Not to mention he's a business man, has he's own website, highly out going
Ugh I could go on forever...

So here's this I know I might sound in over my head, but I'm just that hopeless romantic type girl, like I'm the chick who believes in soulmates...
And for some reason I can't get this guy outta my mind.
I want to say something, but I just can't work up the nerve...
I even planned to fly to his city to just see him in person, but even in person I will never have the nerve to even say anything...
I mean, I'm a pretty young lady, I always get approached by men...
But I just want him, or at least a shot...

I'm reaching out to strangers Cuz I could never tell any of my friends, even family this...

What do you think about my situation?? (link)
I think you need to get out into the real world and stop living in a fantasy one.


You do not know this man. He could be a character made up by someone. Saw that on TV just today. Even if he is a real person, he lives a life in another city with friends & people you don't even know. There is more to people than just what they look like, or how they sound like they might be online.

Do NOT fly to where he lives. That might be considered stalking. Get out and about in your own town with friends and find a real guy. Don't wsste any more precious hours on this guy who only lives in your computer.

I am a 14 year old girl and in the 8th grade. My family is very religious. My sister got straight A+'s in every year of school and college. I am trying to do my best but my mom says that im not trying at all. Whenever I ask her if she wants to do something with me she says she is busy but when my sister asks she says ok.

One more thing is my mom doesnt let me do anything!!

I wanted to watch a movie called Hocus Pocus, and my mom said it has witches and magic, and the bible says to stay away from it. (She also got mad at me because I started singing the spell/song, from the movie. When i was 5!!

I wanted to watch Harry Potter but she said no because the bible says to stay away from wizards and magic, and vampires and wolves. I looked and it only said evil!

Today, I drew a charachters name from Harry potter and my brothers And my mom got mad at me.

They also moniter my Fb account and made me give them the password to my email and FB account.

I feel like my family hates me!!! What do i do??!!

Any and all advice is appreciated. Thank you! (link)
With everything that goes on in the world these days, having an overprotective mom might be a good thing. I don't think your family hates you. Not at all. They are just trying to protect you from things they think are bad for you. It can be real annoying if you are the kid though. I can understand that.

All you can do is your best as far as grades go. So do as best you can. Study & it will pay off one day.

Seems almost all of the popular movies out these days would fall into a category where your mom won't let you watch them. I guess there isn't a lot you will be able to do about that. Once you are older you can research & find a religion that better suits your beliefs if you don't like the one followed by your family. Until then, you will have to do your best to go along with what they want you to do.

I am a mother too and see nothing wrong with them having your passwords. I know that won't be the popular answer but a lot of kids get in trouble everyday online. Its sad but there are a lot of people out there who would take advantage of young teens. Go along with what they want. Use the internet in a responsible manner and they will probably ease up and give you more freedom to use it without watching your every move.

All in all I think they love you a lot! It won't be long before you will be on your own & watching & doing what you want. :)

he says daily he loves me but he has a girlfriend. Should I just leave or try to see if he will leave her? (link)
Leave. If he loves you he will end the other relationship for you. If he's just stringing you along he won't. I don't see much sense in letting him hurt you, which will just hurt worse the longer you let it go on this way.

He will not leave her if he can have his cake and eat it too.

I been with my boyfriend 4 months but before him I dated girls only I feel very confuse because I still like girls and i miss my gay life I love him but I'm not in love with him. (link)
You say you love him but aren't IN LOVE with him.
That could be he just isn't the right one for you.
Since you miss your old lifestyle though, it could mean you would rather be with girls.

The main thing is are you happy? Don't conform just to please other people. Be yourself.

he says he loves me we are having great sex, but i think he is already engaged to someone else but has not told me (link)
I think you should ask him before getting any more involved. Of course he could lie about it and probably will. You could just stop having sex with him and see how long he sticks around. Depends on how badly you want the truth out of him.

Once the sex starts they tend to like to keep that going as long as they can. Next time make sure you know the guy real well before having sex with him. There are guys out there who will lie to get what they want & then drop you like a rock.

I'm 18 and I'd like to learn something new, I really love all sorts of music and I'd love to be able to play the guitar. If I were to print out the tabs and music reading guide is it possible to teach myself? Any tips welcomed. (link)
Sure it is! I leaned to play clarinet that way back in school. All you do is practice, practice practice!

so i like this guy. he was in my school and passed out this year. i am a year junior to him so i'll pass out next year!
i have been talking to him for quite a while now.. and i really like him. he likes me too. he asked me out recently.(though we both are confused on what to do because.. the problem is he is going to another country :/ for his college! and yeah well he would come back to where i live cause his family is here, but still i mean i dont know what i should do?) (link)
You could date & just see what happens. Worry about the future when it gets here. Lifes to short. While he is gone you could both be free to date others if you wanted to. If its meant to be, it will be.

I am 13 and i am pregnant. I took a pregnancy test that I stole from a store and it was positive. I already know i am way to young for sex. But we did use a condom it just broke. I can't tell my mom because she doesn't even know that I like boys yet she still thinks that I think boys have cooties. Abortion is out of the picture 1. I can't afford it 2. I could never kill a child. But i am just so scared I didnt tell the dad yet and not my mom only my best friend. I don't know how to tell them so please just tell me what to do or give me potions or opinions but please don't lecture me on how stupid I am for having sex I will get that from my mom it has been 2 weeks. Thanks for the help (link)
I was older than you are when I had to tell my mom the same thing. She took it much better than expected. I hope your experience is the same.

You need to tell her. Just do it. There is no good way to do it at all. Please do not wait because you
need to be under the care of a doctor. Pregnancy
at 13 is a high risk pregnancy.

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