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I have gone from younggrandma to just yg. Now,
I am using my real name.
I don't think anyone who knows me will have trouble figuring out who that is!

I have been gone a while dealing with things in my own life. I am back now to help once again. Do not expect answers from me that just tell you what you want to hear. Life is to short for nonsense. :)
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Gender: Female
Location: KANSAS
Occupation: Homemaker,EMT, ER worker, Medical assistant
Member Since: March 4, 2005
Answers: 10013
Last Update: August 31, 2014
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If you read my former questions, you will see all about the abusive relationship I have with my babys father. While he remains jobless, he is getting better at being a father so I am giving him one last chance. He hasnt put his hands on me in a long time. But I feel like the damage is done and I can not love someone I have no respect for. Anyway, I used to talk to a guy named pete before BD and I started dating. I had stronger feelings for pete than BD but I didnt think the feeling was mutual. 3 months into me and BD's relationship, pete told me how much he liked me and how gorgeous I was to him and how he is sad he never said anything. well three years later I have a baby with BD and always wonder what could have been.
I have nice dreams about pete, how it couldhave been but last night I had the most lucid dream about him I have ever had about anything.
We started hanging out again (we still talk bc we work together....but we dont hang out like we used to) and our feelings for eachother returned. We were so comfortable and at peace in eachothers grasp. It felt like he was saving me from the hell I am living in. He loved my daughter. He loved me. But it was all a secret...eventually BD puts the pieces together and leaves me, but I had no sadness, just joy. I am just unsure what this dream meant. I know I would never jump into another relationship right off the bat, and I doubt Pete still has these feelings for me. It was just the feeling of the dream was unlike anything I have ever was just nirvana. I just want to know what it is telling me. (link)
I don't think dreams necessarily hold any secrets about life. However, It may mean you have a need to escape the relationship you're in.

You said that you are giving BD one last chance, but to be honest, you don't really sound like you hold out much hope for the relationship.

I know its hard to just move on when you have a child to raise. But if this relationship is abusive then you need to just move on and be done with it. I think you know that & it may be
coming out in your dreams. It may be saying there is a good guy and a good relationship out there for you somewhere. May no be with Pete, but you can have a good relationship.

Good luck.

He left me giving any reason. why? (link)
Because sometimes guys are just that way. You should ask him why.

i am 16 years old...i luv sumone alot.its been four years.But he doesnt luv me instead i recently found that he luvs my best friend,my sweetheart.But my best friend doesnt..Now i am so depressed.Dont know what to say.i have many other family issues also..i am so fed up with everything.I just luv him so much.I dont want to be indifferent to my best friend due to him.I am so much tensed..Dnt know what to do.Plz help me,what should i do???:(
The sad thing is, we can't make someone love us. I think you will need to find someone else and stop
waiting on this guy. Who knows, if you move on to someone else, he may see what he's been missing.

As for your friend, Its not her fault he likes her.
So don't hold it against her.

The best thing you can do is to move on to liking someone else. Hopefully, someone who likes you too!
There are a lot of great guys out there waiting for you to stop mooning over the one who doesn't like you that way at the moment. Don't waste any more time on him.

Me and my boyfriend had sex last week on a Friday I got my period the day after and it was heavy and I'm not showing signs am I pregnant or no? I'm a girl. (link)
You are probably NOT pregnant if you had your period afterwards.

To prevent scares in the future, if you are going to have sex, never ever have sex without a condom.
It would just cost you way to much emotionally, physically & be to life altering to get pregnant.
Been there done that! :)

Should you develop symptoms in the future, get a home test or see a doctor. I don't think you are though.

Hi, idk if this is the correct category to be asking this question but I sorta figure that this is the closest?

Anyway, I'm 22 year old female and I'm confused about well, if I'm straight or lesbian or bi. (I'm female despite my username.) I found myself looking at other girls a lot lately. I look at their chests and their legs and that's it. I don't have any sexual thoughts about it. I just look.

Also, I have a boyfriend(whom I love very much) and when we make out, I do get turned on though the overall experience in bed is just ok. I enjoy it but sometimes, I don't know if I'm just faking it or am making myself enjoy it. Plus, we don't really talk that much about what we like. I get more aroused when we like talk about our fantasies when we chat or when I read heterosexual erotic literature. Idk if it's just that well, I'm the first girl he did more than kiss and me, him, so we're both inexperienced.

And lastly, I remember panicking when my boyfriend asked me if I liked gay guys. I didn't immediately hear the guys bit. My brain stopped at gay and I panicked. This also happened when my guy asked me if I was dressing up to impress other girls. It turns out he was quoting an article but yeah, I sorta panicked for some reason.

Any insight would be greatly appreciated. (link)
While you may have some fear of being gay, I don't believe you are. There is nothing wrong with finding people of the same sex attractive. It doesn't mean you are gay.

You aren't having sexual thoughts about the same sex. You say you enjoy sex with your current partner. I think it is just a matter of his being inexperienced.

Stop panicking and try to relax. I think all the feelings you are having are perfectly normal.

So me and my ex have been dating for almost 2 years. We havent exactly had the best relationship because he has just began to overcome a drug problem and when he was on pills, he would break up with me a lot saying that he loves me and wants to be with me in the future but knows right now he isnt whats best for me. That would be understandable I guess if he meant it, but whenever he would dump me he'd come back within a week. He's been almost a month clean now but hestopped trying in our last friday, I actually ended it. The only problem is I have never felt this sad and alone. I work and am taking summer classes so I dont see too much of my friends and most of them are mutual friends so I feel depressed seeing them. I was really sweet In my breakup text(text cause he wouldnt call or see me) and he just said ok. But then later at night he said um sorry. But that is the last time ive heard from him. I miss him so much and since its been a week, im doubtful that he will come back. I dont even know what id do if he did come back because I want so badly to be with him but I know its prob not whats best and my family hates him. Im just looking for some insight and hoping maybe you guys have a similar situation and can lemme know if u think he will come back. (link)
To be honest I think it is over. Its always sad and lonely after a break up but you need to find a way to move on. Many times a clean and sober person has a need to leave behind all people who were part of their former life. If he is doing that then he probably will not be back.

Do your best to keep busy. You will find someone to have a healthy relationship with. Just take your time and you will soon see this breakup was probably for the best.

Hi, everyone. My boyfriend who is 18 just got a ticket for being with a minor who was in posesion of weed. Although my boyfriend did NOT have anything on him he got a ticket. Can an officer really do that when he had done nothing wrong? Or could the ticket be from being with the minor? Also, my boyfriend has a past record, could this have somthing to do with it? And will he go to jail? (link)
Well, unfortunately they can. Its hard to prove he wasn't going to be sharing the weed I suppose. If he has a past record, that doesn't help him any.

I would imagine if he just got a ticket he will pay it and that will be the end of it. If he were going to jail I would have thought they would have arrested him on the spot.

Keep in mind I really don't know what the laws are like wherever you live. This is simply an educated guess.

Hi! I am from Pakistan. I am 19 years old boy. From few months I mostly do masturbating daily so I want to ask that whether it effects me or effects my body or power or not..?? I heard that by doing masturbating, we lose our power or sex ability and also effect our sex life Is this all correct or not?? Please tell me about this as soon as possible... Thanks (link)
Masturbation is a perfectly healthy and safe way to have sex at 19. It will not have any ill affects at all.

Its a great pregnancy prevention & it keeps you safe from sexually transmitted diseases. You will not lose any power or sexual ability at all.

Im 24 yrs old and I have a 3yr old daughter and I am ready for the next one. My boyfriend of 5 yrs is on board but we have been trying since febuary and nothing! Im getting a little impatient, what can I do to speed things up. I need advice on how to get pregnant soon,i dont want my kids to far apart. Please help..... (link)
I wouldn't get to concerned just yet. If you have been taking birth control pills, it takes a while for all that medicine to get out of your system. I'm
not sure how long it might take for you to get pregnant, but you could make an appointment with your doctor and get advice on how long it may take.

In the mean time, keep trying! Good luck. :)

What is it called when your mouth must be in constant motion ? Whether it's chewing on ice, chewing gum, talking, grinding your teeth...
I know it's considered a nervous habit, but I think there's a specific name for it. I go through a pack of gum every two days. Is there anyway to stop it ? (link)
I think the term you are looking for is oral fixation. There are sites that claim to have cures.
I recommend talking to your doctor about it for the best advice on cures.

Here is a search for you...

only search

16/f last moth my boyfriend and I had sex. I was kind of worried because I was supostoo have my period on the 10th (its always on that date) I ended up starting my period around the 28th about 1-2 weeks ago I had sex again (unprotected) afterwards I noticed I was spotting and this continued on and off for a few days. We had sex again 3 days ago (some of the cum that was on his stomach got on my vagina) and I'm still spotting. I ended up not haveing my period on the 10th again so maybe I'll start around the 28th again. Is this normal. Could I be pregnant? And my boobs have been kinda sore but only if I touch them around the nipple. I don't feel sick or anything What could this mean? (link)
If you are having unprotected sex you could be pregnant. NEVER have unprotected sex. If he can't afford a condom, he can't afford to support you and a baby.

Always insist the guy wear a condom. Go to a clinic, planned parenthood or a doctor and get on birth control as soon as you possibly can.

I have a boyfriend of 4 years. Here recently, a couple days before our 4 year which was like a week ago I went on to my boyfriends Facebook, just to randomly check up on him. I go through his messages and come across a conversation that my boyfriend started up. It goes along the lines of " Hey so I just wanted to let you know I had the biggest crush on you back in BCIS class and I thought you were cute" she said aww why didnt you tell me? i feel the same kind of thing. and he mentioned he STILL thinks shes cute and that the vodka helps. Gave his number to her and the next morning puts "even sober I meant all that" After that, I was BEYOND pissed and confronted him about it. He claimed he got drunk with a couple friends and left his Facebook up and his friend talked to a couple people. Obviously I don't believe him and his friend called me up and wanted to make sure he told me he's the one who talked to her and sorry for getting him in trouble and that he thought it was funny at the time. Also, I went ahead and messaged that girl, and of course she didn't respond like I thought. Which makes it seem more supicious. With all that said, I am not sure how to approach this issue. I often bring up I am still upset with him and he continues to deny it all. I feel as though it is never-ending. I don't know if I should either brush it off or end it between us because I don't think I could trust him after seeing that.

Any ideas? (link)
Is this the first time something like this has happened? If so, I'd be more inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. Even though the story is a little fishy sounding. Out of curiosity, was it his number given to this girl or the friends number?

If you decide to brush it off, you have to stop bringing it up. I mean forever. Bringing it up all the time will just cause arguments & will do nothing to help your relationship. Its not only a reminder that he MAY have done wrong, but that you did too. You didn't trust him.

If you don't think you can ever forgive him enough to completely put it behind you and trust him, then end it. There is nothing worse than being in a relationship where you always worry & suspect someone of cheating.

im 20/f and i've never been on a date, not even one. however there's this friend who i would like to go on a date with. we're not that close but he's really friendly when we see each other. I don't wanna go on a date because i like him. i just wanna go on a real date for once. is it okay for a girl to ask for a date, or should i just be implying it? and how should i do that? im also reaaaaaaallly reaaaaaaally bad at flirting! plz help! (link)
If he isn't currently dating someone, there is nothing wrong with you asking him out. Simply ask him if he would like to go to a movie with you, or whatever you would like to do.

There is one thing that I'm not sure about & maybe one of the younger advisers could help with. Who pays? I'm thinking you would probably both pay your own way. Though would it then really be a date? I wish I had an answer for you on this part.

As far as flirting goes, if you aren't good at it, don't do it. I think flirting just comes naturally to some people & for others it just doesn't. So you are better off just being yourself.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years, he has had a really horrible up bringing in an abbusive home when he was a kid, we currently live together and i have recently found out I am pregnant.
He gets angry all the time, over the smallest things, like loosing a game of fifa or something, when he does get angry he always punches the walls, doors or breaks things but if i say something he doesn't like or tell him to do something i get hit, punched, kicked and i have almost lost the baby twice already because he has hit me in the stomach. I feel like i need him to be independent though, and he tells me to get out of the house all the time, and tells me i won't get anything in the flat/car etc. he calls me names all the time, swears at me continuously and shouts at me in public if i need the toilet or something. But, when he is in a good mood, he is a really great boyfriend.

In November 2009 i was invited to a party and i was getting ready and it was a dressing up party, he told me to drop his friend off at the train station which i did and when i got back he locked me out of the house and had thrown all of my clothes through the window, for no apparent reason, i picked up my clothes and told him to let me in, he made me beg, i was on the doorstep crying and begging at 11pm at night in the freezing cold in a tarty dress, i was begging for around an hour when i picked up a brick and tried to bash the door down, i only managed to put a scratch on the door, but he called the police and was put in jail that night. he pressed charges for criminal damage and i now have a criminal record, but the day after i got out of jail he apologised and we were back together the week after.

I just feel like i can't leave him, but i just don't know what to do to stop his behaviour. I am terrified of him when he is like this, but i don't know how to stop it. Pleease Helpp!+ (link)
I agree with Zane. You need to leave this relationship before something else happens to you or your baby. This guy needs LOTS of help but you aren't the one to do it.

Do not feel sorry for him because of his upbringing. He knows how it feels to be abused & yet he does it himself.

Leave him and do not feel sorry for him and go back just because he apologizes.

So, me (15 female) and my boyfriend (16 male) have been dating what Is almost two months. He is the first for alot of things with me, and I'm really happy with him. But I endured something that has scared me: I was due for my period yesterday (April 8) and I'm now a day late. My reasoning for worrying is because he fingered me really hard, and pretty fast before I was to start my monthly cycle. And then he had done that, I bled kinda lightly for one or two days. And yes, I'm basically still a virgin.
We haven't had any penis/Vagina contact. I have worried about being pregnant before, and it took me going to be put on Birth Control, and getting a pregnancy test just to prove nothing was wrong. But, I'm so scared something is wrong. Just as I said, my last period, was the lightest period I've ever had and was a course of three days.
Just about a week or less ago, he had went to "get himself off" and laid that hand on my "no no box" and I had immediatly said something about it. After, he had continued with me using his other hand. Could that cause something? Being so young I'm afraid of talking to my mom about anything. An yes, I trust my boyfriend enough to where I talk to him about how I'm feeling. I just, would much rather have a womans perspective and help on this. You know? (link)
I don't think you are pregnant. Stress and worrying about it can cause you not to have your period. Just remain calm and if you don't have your period this month, it will be back next month.

So I am 20 years old, and on my parents' health insurance. I went to get tested for STD's at my university's health center, as I am sexually active. How it works is the university sends you the bill, which you are supposed to make a copy of. One copy you send to the university with your payment, and the other you send to your insurance so they can reimburse you.

My problem is that before I always sent it to my mom, and she took care of everything for me. But my bill clearly states that I have gotten tested for HIV, Chlamydia, etc, etc. I don't want my mom seeing this. I discussed with her today how to pay bills with the insurance and stuff, and she told me I need a password in order to send the bill to insurance. She won't really give it to me because she is now extremely suspicious that something is going on. What do I do? For this bill I guess I can just pay it without insurance, its not too expensive, but what if something else like this happens again? I want my health stuff to be kept private from the rest of my family. Is there anything I can do?

Thank you (link)
I'm older than dirt as well. :)

I've also worked in the health field. While your medical records and what you discuss with your doctor is confidential, insurance is a whole other thing.

By law THEY (the clinic) have to give detailed info on services provided to the insurance company. This is to prevent insurance companies from paying for things you didn't get. It is also so the patient can see it and know they are only paying for services provided by the doctors.

The billing for insurance goes to the person who is paying for it. If that is your parents they will get the detailed statement. That is the law.

Now your parents can call the clinic and they will not give them info about your visit or any test results. But they know what you were tested for. Its a catch 22 thing.

Since you are 20, you might want to call the insurance company and discuss getting an insurance card in your own name. Where billing for your medical services come directly to you.
I don't know for sure if this will work, but you might give it a try.

For this visit, to be on the safe side, I'd pay it myself. You are 20 years old though and you can always tell your mother it was a routine check up and something the clinic checks as part of the exam.

my bestfriend lives with me and my mom and dad. she got kicked out of her house and shes been living with me for about 7 months. im put up with it and now im just getting annoyed very easily. She is that type of girl where whatever she says goes. if something doesnt go her way she will not be happy. im one of those girls who cant really stand up for herself. ive told her no before but she gives me the guilt trip. ive just started always saying yes to her just so i avoid her being mad at me. shes also stolen things from me but i dont have the mouth to open up and say anything. i want her to leave but i could never say no to her. she knows what buttons to push to change my mind to make herself happy. we usually go out on the weekends to party and i mostly do it because she wants to. i have a boyfriend and he hates the way she treats me and i put up with it. shes told me that she feels like i put my bf before her but thats not true because i drop everything for her. she tells me drive here i drive there for her just to make her happy. so my boyfriend asked me on monday if i wanted to go to the movies on friday. and i said i wasnt sure because im not sure if i can go out because my friend wants to party. which is very stupid because i cant hang out with my boyfriend because i have to party with my friend? she is not a understanding person if i ever told her i already have plans she would freak out and thats what i try and avoid from her. so i want to go out to the movies and dinner with my boyfriend because its my last weekend here before i go away for 2 weeks. my friend wont stop talking about the party she wants to go to tomorrow and i dont have the balls to be like No, i dont want to do that i have plans, find a ride. (she doesnt have her license, shes also 19) which makes her depend on me for her ride everywhere. i drop everything to come home and drive her. for an example i was sleeping over my bfs and she called me at 4 in the morning to drive her home because she had no other ride. i ended up getting up and driving her which is stupid. i don't know what to do about tomorrow because im afraid to talk to her. i cant tell her no. and i want to go with my boyfriend. i almost want to leave her a letter and be like "i know your going to get mad but i can't tell you this to your face. ive had plans since monday to go out with paul for dinner and a movie ive just been afaid to tell you" or something on that affect and not come home and shut my phone off. im afraid of what she will say. please help or any suggestions !? thank you! (link)
Talk to your mom & dad. It is after all their house she is staying in. Tell them you would like her to leave but are unable to say anything to her about it. Let them be the bad guys.

She is taking advantage of you because she knows she can. Do you really want a friend like that?
Even if you do, having her live with you is NOT a good idea.

I meet this guy named, Kyle. He is really nice, smart, cute, with a good personallity. I asked him out one day and he said he didnt know what to say. I'm thinking that he wasnt ready. We have been seeing each other for 3 months and I dont know what to do to have him say yes. Any ideas? (link)
If you have been seeing him for 3 months and he doesn't know what to say, he either doesn't see you
as being more than a friend or isn't ready to date yet.

He now knows you are interested now. Have some patience and see what happens.

is it normal for a 14 year old girl to masturbate will a full size dildo
Yes, it is perfectly normal.

my left and right lung hurt that i'm rarely bieng able to walk because every move i make my both lungs hurt so bad that they produce irresistable pain!
So any ideas for what's the reason for all this pain ??

Thank you ; (link)
No idea what it might be. I do know (like you do!)
that it is not normal to have lung pain.

You need to see a doctor as soon as possible to find out what might be causing it. That does not mean it is something life threatening causing the pain, but it needs to be fixed. You don't mess with
pain that isn't normal.

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