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I have gone from younggrandma to just yg. Now,
I am using my real name.
I don't think anyone who knows me will have trouble figuring out who that is!


I have been gone a while dealing with things in my own life. I am back now to help once again. Do not expect answers from me that just tell you what you want to hear. Life is to short for nonsense. :)
Website: advicenators forum
E-mail: krickel@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: KANSAS
Occupation: Homemaker,EMT, ER worker, Medical assistant
Member Since: March 4, 2005
Answers: 10001
Last Update: April 23, 2014
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So, me (15 female) and my boyfriend (16 male) have been dating what Is almost two months. He is the first for alot of things with me, and I'm really happy with him. But I endured something that has scared me: I was due for my period yesterday (April 8) and I'm now a day late. My reasoning for worrying is because he fingered me really hard, and pretty fast before I was to start my monthly cycle. And then he had done that, I bled kinda lightly for one or two days. And yes, I'm basically still a virgin.
We haven't had any penis/Vagina contact. I have worried about being pregnant before, and it took me going to be put on Birth Control, and getting a pregnancy test just to prove nothing was wrong. But, I'm so scared something is wrong. Just as I said, my last period, was the lightest period I've ever had and was a course of three days.
Just about a week or less ago, he had went to "get himself off" and laid that hand on my "no no box" and I had immediatly said something about it. After, he had continued with me using his other hand. Could that cause something? Being so young I'm afraid of talking to my mom about anything. An yes, I trust my boyfriend enough to where I talk to him about how I'm feeling. I just, would much rather have a womans perspective and help on this. You know? (link)
I don't think you are pregnant. Stress and worrying about it can cause you not to have your period. Just remain calm and if you don't have your period this month, it will be back next month.


So I am 20 years old, and on my parents' health insurance. I went to get tested for STD's at my university's health center, as I am sexually active. How it works is the university sends you the bill, which you are supposed to make a copy of. One copy you send to the university with your payment, and the other you send to your insurance so they can reimburse you.

My problem is that before I always sent it to my mom, and she took care of everything for me. But my bill clearly states that I have gotten tested for HIV, Chlamydia, etc, etc. I don't want my mom seeing this. I discussed with her today how to pay bills with the insurance and stuff, and she told me I need a password in order to send the bill to insurance. She won't really give it to me because she is now extremely suspicious that something is going on. What do I do? For this bill I guess I can just pay it without insurance, its not too expensive, but what if something else like this happens again? I want my health stuff to be kept private from the rest of my family. Is there anything I can do?


Thank you (link)
I'm older than dirt as well. :)

I've also worked in the health field. While your medical records and what you discuss with your doctor is confidential, insurance is a whole other thing.

By law THEY (the clinic) have to give detailed info on services provided to the insurance company. This is to prevent insurance companies from paying for things you didn't get. It is also so the patient can see it and know they are only paying for services provided by the doctors.

The billing for insurance goes to the person who is paying for it. If that is your parents they will get the detailed statement. That is the law.

Now your parents can call the clinic and they will not give them info about your visit or any test results. But they know what you were tested for. Its a catch 22 thing.

Since you are 20, you might want to call the insurance company and discuss getting an insurance card in your own name. Where billing for your medical services come directly to you.
I don't know for sure if this will work, but you might give it a try.

For this visit, to be on the safe side, I'd pay it myself. You are 20 years old though and you can always tell your mother it was a routine check up and something the clinic checks as part of the exam.


19/f
my bestfriend lives with me and my mom and dad. she got kicked out of her house and shes been living with me for about 7 months. im put up with it and now im just getting annoyed very easily. She is that type of girl where whatever she says goes. if something doesnt go her way she will not be happy. im one of those girls who cant really stand up for herself. ive told her no before but she gives me the guilt trip. ive just started always saying yes to her just so i avoid her being mad at me. shes also stolen things from me but i dont have the mouth to open up and say anything. i want her to leave but i could never say no to her. she knows what buttons to push to change my mind to make herself happy. we usually go out on the weekends to party and i mostly do it because she wants to. i have a boyfriend and he hates the way she treats me and i put up with it. shes told me that she feels like i put my bf before her but thats not true because i drop everything for her. she tells me drive here i drive there for her just to make her happy. so my boyfriend asked me on monday if i wanted to go to the movies on friday. and i said i wasnt sure because im not sure if i can go out because my friend wants to party. which is very stupid because i cant hang out with my boyfriend because i have to party with my friend? she is not a understanding person if i ever told her i already have plans she would freak out and thats what i try and avoid from her. so i want to go out to the movies and dinner with my boyfriend because its my last weekend here before i go away for 2 weeks. my friend wont stop talking about the party she wants to go to tomorrow and i dont have the balls to be like No, i dont want to do that i have plans, find a ride. (she doesnt have her license, shes also 19) which makes her depend on me for her ride everywhere. i drop everything to come home and drive her. for an example i was sleeping over my bfs and she called me at 4 in the morning to drive her home because she had no other ride. i ended up getting up and driving her which is stupid. i don't know what to do about tomorrow because im afraid to talk to her. i cant tell her no. and i want to go with my boyfriend. i almost want to leave her a letter and be like "i know your going to get mad but i can't tell you this to your face. ive had plans since monday to go out with paul for dinner and a movie ive just been afaid to tell you" or something on that affect and not come home and shut my phone off. im afraid of what she will say. please help or any suggestions !? thank you! (link)
Talk to your mom & dad. It is after all their house she is staying in. Tell them you would like her to leave but are unable to say anything to her about it. Let them be the bad guys.

She is taking advantage of you because she knows she can. Do you really want a friend like that?
Even if you do, having her live with you is NOT a good idea.


I meet this guy named, Kyle. He is really nice, smart, cute, with a good personallity. I asked him out one day and he said he didnt know what to say. I'm thinking that he wasnt ready. We have been seeing each other for 3 months and I dont know what to do to have him say yes. Any ideas? (link)
If you have been seeing him for 3 months and he doesn't know what to say, he either doesn't see you
as being more than a friend or isn't ready to date yet.

He now knows you are interested now. Have some patience and see what happens.


is it normal for a 14 year old girl to masturbate will a full size dildo
(link)
Yes, it is perfectly normal.


Hello,
my left and right lung hurt that i'm rarely bieng able to walk because every move i make my both lungs hurt so bad that they produce irresistable pain!
So any ideas for what's the reason for all this pain ??

Thank you ; (link)
No idea what it might be. I do know (like you do!)
that it is not normal to have lung pain.

You need to see a doctor as soon as possible to find out what might be causing it. That does not mean it is something life threatening causing the pain, but it needs to be fixed. You don't mess with
pain that isn't normal.


Theres two things going on right now that i dont know what to do . My ex is telling me he loves and cares about me still and he wants me back but his ex is telling me he told her he only loves her and now they just had a baby together and i dont know what to do !?

And the guy ive previously asked advice about is now ignoring me , He has a new girlfriend and he doesnt even have time for me like i still have feelings for him but i just wanna be friends please somebody help me I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ),= (link)
You get out there and meet a guy you don't have a past with. Forget trying to be friends. It isn't going to happen for a long long time if ever.

The first guy you mention has a relationship and a child. Regardless of what he may be telling you, he has responsibilities he needs to be tending to and they don't include you.

Now he may want to keep you around as a diversion from those responsibilities, but that just makes him a cheating liar & you deserve better than that.

The second guy has moved on. You need to do the same. Find a guy who won't be cheating on someone to be with you. Those type of guys are not worth
your time.


if you're using a condom does the guy have to stop and pull out before he cums or can he just cum while he's inside a girl? (link)
It is actually better if he doesn't not pull out.
Pulling out quickly could result in the condom slipping off, which defeats its purpose. Better to
wait until its all over and pull out carefully.


Okay this is a long story but i'll try and shorten it as much as i can! basically,i started a job and met a guy that i worked with and we started talking and stuff,he seemed interested and i was as well. He has a girlfriend,but we were just talking via text ,no biggie. Then we started hanging out and i started to really like him ,and his gf wasn't treating him right so he dumped her for me.After a few days,they got back together and were on and off,and i was in an awkward decision. He told me that he really likes me and thinks he'd be with me forever but that i came at the wrong time in his life and he still loves his gf. He told me he wanted me to get out of his life so he wouldn't get attached to me. I was heartbroken and he was too because the feelings were so mutual. We kept talking and basically continued hanging out and hooking up and he was cheating on his gf with me all the time,he'd even ditch her for me sometimes.I feel horrible and i never wanted it to get this serious ,but im stuck because i'm falling in love with him and he tells me he loves his gf but wants to keep me close to him because he really cares about me and whatnot.I feel stupid because he's always my first priority and i'm his second.He calls me ,texts me and wants to hangout everyday. I just get the vibe he really has feelings for me,but doesn't want to break up with her for me because he's just scared since he's been with her for a lot longer than me. I want to leave him and get him out of my life but it's so hard because I like him so much and he's becoming a routine part of my life,as i'm becoming more attached and in love. I always feel like there's this hope that one day he'll pick me over her and he tells me all the time how i'd be a perfect girlfriend and it just sucks because I know i should stop talking to him,but if i do,i want him to miss me and i just need help. He no longer works at my job so i don't HAVE to see him. (link)
This guy is bad news for you. He really is.
He isn't going to leave his girlfriend. Thats
obvious. He is using you and keeping you stringing along so he can have a cheat buddy is all.

You need to stay away from him because you are looking at getting your heart broken big time.
I know it will be hard to do but you have to stop
talking, texting and hanging out with him.

Don't listen when he claims to miss you. He will
try to put on the charm and get you back. But you
know what? If you ignore him, he will have another
innocent victim listening to the same stories you're hearing soon.

There are plenty of nice guys out there. Find one
who isn't using you and doesn't have a girlfriend
already. You will be much happier in the end.


My boyfriend keeps looking for an argument to break-up and once we do hes gone for a few weeks then he appears again like nothing happened or it was my fault he says Im to stubborn and I never call or text him first but when I do he always says hes busy and will get back to me later...He calls me once in a while during the day then he tells me his phone died or hes gonna go sleep and he will talk to me later. He texts me random messages and is always texting even when hes out with me but he claims he loves me and only me and he told his whole family about me and says he wants to marry me when we end things he says hes not going to chase after me anymore but re-appears in my life again just when im adjusting to the idea of being without him...I love him but im so tired of being treated like this its so stressful for me especially since my parents dont accept him but i stood up to them for him so what should I do and why is he acting like this?
(link)
When he breaks up with you, don't take him back.
He keeps doing it because he knows he can get away with it. Since it has happened more than once, I
think its proof enough that he isn't ready for a
serious relationship. He just declares his undying
love for you and says he wants to marry you because it gets him what he wants. You. Until the next time.

I think you need to find a guy who cares more about you than his phone. There are a lot of guys out there who will treat you like you are special. Drop
this clown and go find him.


Due to my own lack of trying, I was dismissed from college before I could begin my second semester. I failed four classes and boy was my father was upset, and with good reason too, of course.

He told me to find a new job or else I'd have no car, no phone, or Internet, all essential things for me, or I could join the guards and retain that. Not an option for me. So I found a new job, and I now hold down two.

But then, today, he said that if I don't work full time, which is impossible with two jobs, that I will be walking to work, which is also impossible as both places are miles away, and it is Winter.

How do I handle my dad and fix all of this? (link)
Sounds like you need to find a full time job & give up the part times. See if one or the other will hire you full time. If not, look for a place that will. I know, hard to do but not impossible. Let dad know you are doing this and keep him updated.

I know it isn't what you want to do. BUT, you are looking at losing a lot if you don't.

Good luck.


I dont realy understand what days a girl is fertile and what days are less likely for pregnancy, could someone please explain that to me? (link)
The simple answer is that you are always fertile.
Fertility charts are made for those having a hard time getting pregnant. The fertile days are those when fertility is at its highest. They are not something that someone would want to follow if they want to avoid pregnancy. Someone without a problem can get pregnant any time.

Play safe and use condoms and birth control pills for maximum protection. Health departments, and planned parenthood if you have one in your area can get you set up for little or no money.


I am 27, female and live in the San Francisco Bay Area. A year ago I worked at a stable job and moved my Mom and sisters in with me because my mom was unhappy in her marriage, and I was concerned for the psychological, emotional and spiritual effects that environment was having on my two younger sisters (both minor teens). About a month living together, I was laid off. Since that time I have been on unemployment, struggling to make ends meet. Fortunately, I was able to. Now the lease is up in a month or two and my unemployment is also expiring as well. I will not be able to continue to care for them, and when I have told my Mom this, she just gave me the cold shoulder, refuses to talk to me and gives this tantrum. It is not only very frustrating, but it makes things more harder on me to have to deal with everything. She told my older brother that I was abandoning her, which is completely untrue. She also blames my significant other (my girlfriend) for me “wanting to abandon them,” and it just creates more issues. I told my Mom that I would have to move in to my gf’s place because I will not have a means to support myself. I feel limited and can’t talk to my sisters, because they are too young and do not want them to get involved in this, and do not want to talk to my gf about this because she knows my mom blames her, and I already feel bad about that. My family, except my sisters, blame me for “abandoning them” and see me as selfish and inconsiderate. This makes me feel outraged, frustrated and quite resentful after the generosity I have shown to my mom, when this was not my responsibility in the first place. Granted, she is still not divorced, and I suggested she stop teeter-totting between me and her husband and she needs to figure out what they are going to do.
Basically, what I want to know is what do I do here? I am torn between feeling very guilty for not being able to care for them and doing more, and feeling very resentful towards my mom for not being more understanding and making things easier for me. I just want to live my life, but my Mom makes me feel guilty when I try to…. Please help!!
(link)
You do whatever you have to do to keep YOURSELF afloat. I see no reason why you should be supporting a family.

It was good of you to give mom a place to go during her separation. She should have taken the opportunity then to make a new life for herself. She didn't do it.

You are not abandoning her. She is taking advantage of YOU. The most loving thing you can do for her right now is make her get on with her own life, as you must do for yourself. She needs to get a job and a place of her own. Do not feel guilty. You did what you could and now it is time to move on. She WILL get over it.

Don't even argue it with her. Just say I love you mom but this is the way its got to be.

Good luck.


Im 16 and i just recently started having sex with with my boyfriend. were both new at all of this, and we both want to be safe so we've always used a condom. well after we were done we just layed down & he aways cleans his penis so i figured it was okay and i sorta layed on top of him.. and then all of a sudden he pushes me off and says he still had some on him. its been bothering me ever since, should i just stop worring? or could a possible pregnancy occur? the thought of that scares me.. (link)
Unless he cleaned it with soap and water, its not a good idea to get to intimate. Good for him to be thinking!

It isn't something I would worry about. I'm sure you are fine. It would be rare to get pregnant this way, but it COULD happen. Best to play it safe.




I am 26 years old, All my life I have struggled with anxiety which has lead to complete isolation over the years and seemed to have taken it's toll for the worse.

I have struggled to fit in, It almost feels as I gasp for breaths while I attempt to talk to my own family members around holidays. My heart races, My stomach turns and I automatically want to be the first one to run out of the room if there are more then 4 people I do not know well around. I have in the past attempted to talk to people, I stutter and look at the floor. I am currently seeing a therapist and I have for many years as well as tried different medications. The problem, It doesn't seem to be working. I have no friends, I avoid contact with people and the only time I get out of the apartment is when I feel the absolute need for my mental state of mind or need to buy house hold items. I am married, I find it sad that I can count on one hand how many times I've showed up to my spouses fathers house. My spouse has bought it up to why I don't go and pay visits and I hesitate and don't know what to say. I have tried many times to over come this, I fail. I've tried therapy, Failed. I even tried medication and again, Failed. I am beginning to loose hope, I am also a victim of substance abuse if that helps too. (link)
We probably won't be of much help getting you over your anxiety. I do want to encourage you not to give up. If one thing doesn't work, you simply must keep on trying.

Have you been going to the same doctor for all the help? A problem doesn't have to be a life or death illness to get a second or third opinion. If one doctor isn't helping you, try another.

Are you still a substance abuser or are you recovering? Substance abuse can cause some of the symptoms of depression and/or anxiety you have trouble with too.

I assume your doctor and therapists know of the substance abuse. It may take a little longer to find the correct dosage of any med that will work for you. Your doctors probably don't want to give you a dosage that might cause you to abuse it. Your body may also have built a tolerance to some types of medication.

It takes time. Sometimes a long time, but don't give up trying.


Here's my situation

I recently got into a long distance relationship
with someone who i met online he's 22 i'm 20 his name's Luke we get along great and we've got tons of things in common but here's the catch he's got a friend she's a girl her name's Keke and she's saying things like she wants to marry him & she told me she likes him she thinks were best friends
and aren't dating i'm scared he'll leave me and
end up going to her and i'll be left alone i feel like she's coming between us and i feel left out i
feel like he loves her more then me i really want this to work out between us and i'll be upset if it doesn't i'm unsure of what to do and how to approach this...

Advice please(: (link)
I won't sugar coat this. Long distance relationships rarely work out. How often do you see this guy? I don't mean "online", I mean in the real world?

If this female friend of his is such a "good friend" he would have told her everything about you by now. He obviously hasn't. Probably for good reason.

Unless she is a total kook, she has the idea that she will be marrying this guy. That means that YOU
may possibly be the one coming between a couple, not the other way around.

Follow your gut instinct. Find someone who you can actually see often and date properly. There are just to many ways to be a liar on the net.


18/f

my mother and father fight a lot. This doesn't really bother me. It's the fact that she always takes her anger out on me. If idobt agree with her, I basically am discommunicated from the family for a few days, till I apologize. It's not fair. My brother will get in trouble for something, but then I end up getting grounded. My brothers are afraid of her, so yet always agree but I don't anymre, because she is usually wrong. She overreacts and always will start crying and will sy mean things to me. Like how I'm stupid or she hates me. I don't know what to do, or what to say anymore.

I really need some advice.. (link)
Be aware that taking this problem to another adult outside your family is liable to create even more problems for you. She & probably your dad will NOT be happy about it.

Try this. Talk to your mother about this when she is in a decent mood. DO NOT wait until the heat of an argument to do it.

Tell her that her arguments with your dad are not your business. You do not want them to be your business. And that putting you and your brothers in the middle of it is not fair to any of you.

It may not help, but she may think about it before starting in with you next time.


suggest why the daily requirement of energy increase if a woman becomes pregnant
(link)
Why? If you want a reasonably intelligent answer,
you might want to give some details and try to make some sense.


"A couple weeks ago I was in target and used the restroom. They had no toilet
paper and I happen to look in the thing that you put tampons and pads in and
there was some toilet paper left in there. It was dry had nothing on it and
looked clean and smelt like toilet paper. I used it and wasn't really thinking
about that I could catch something from using it. Now I am very scared. I feel
completely fine and nothing is different about me. I looked all over on the
internet and everyone has said that if there was any kind of std including hiv
that the virus would have died because of the air plus drying out. Is this true? I know this was stupid but I was in a hurry and wan't thinking.
Please I would love some help on this. Thank you for your time (link)
Viruses are not killed by air. It may dry them up, but the germs and bacteria remain. Chances are slim that you would catch HIV from this, but it is not a good practice to use TP found amongst nasty used feminine hygiene products. They are growing bacteria just sitting in that environment.

The air actually spreads a lot of viruses.


Hello i'm 19/f and yesterday during work all of a sudden my heart rate increased and it was like this for a couple hours. It was like i just ran a 5 mile run. I couldnt get it to slow down, then after about an hour into it my boss told me to take aspirin thinking maybe that would help and i think it did a little bit but it didnt eventually calm down until a few hours later. I took my break thinking maybe that would help but as i was eating my food it still continued to pound. I've only had this a few other times but it always went away within 20 min. Then i started to get a little light headed and the right side of my back started to hurt. My muscles have been achy and i've been tired but not more than usual. Nothing has been stressing me out either it just came on all of a sudden. I do drink soda but i only had one can of soda that day. Can anybody give me any ideas on what this could be? Thanks (link)
With matters of the heart, it is best to see a doctor. You could have anxiety as a result of not knowing what caused it to happen in the first place. :)

If you have no insurance and can't afford to see a doctor, go to a local health department or clinic. Just do not let it slide.

I am not saying you have a heart condition. There are other things that can cause a rapid heartbeat.
Off the top of my head I am thinking hyperthyroid.
Many different things that we cannot diagnose for you. Please see a doctor ASAP.




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