about

Hello, my name is Mary. I'm a 21 year old student, studying to be a counselor. I'm still young but I feel like I've had enough life experiences to answer any questions you may have. I still have some things to learn, but feel free to ask me anything, don't be shy! I'll answer as soon as possible, and I'll try my best to give you the best advice!

Hakuna Mata - It means no worries, for the rest of your days. :)

advice

my friend is to friendly with my boyfriend their relationship makes me uncomfortable i always tell my boyfriend of three years that it makes me really mad that they always seem to be flirting and it needs to stop and the things my friend says pisses me off to no end like i feel like he is her second girlfriend and some things she says is like what why would you say that? like his birthday i had the idea of having balloons all over his room when he woke up she said that she was going to leave him balloons by his door and surprise him???!!! i dont know but thats wierd like she says stuff like that to me! one day i was mad at my boyfriend and i asked her to ask him if he was ok and dont talk to him about why i was mad and yet she texted him and asked to meet somewhere private just them two to talk. i was like why would you say that and my boyfriend was like oh sorry im busy not now like he said it was wierd. so talking to him about this is uncomfortable he gets mad about it so i dont know who to talk to about it or how to stop it with out us getting into a fight i think its okay that they are friends but when your doing stuff like that it makes me mad and uncomfortable like what do i say to her to let her know it makes me mad and if i do she would tell me that i have nothing to worry about because she doesnt like him like that but i dont care if she does or does not i want it to stop i dont like having the constant look on my face like why would this happen and why would you say that?! i feel like im overreacting but then again im not because if it bothers me then obviously it needs to be said to her now ive said my peace to my boyfriend and now i have to let her know. if im wrong explain how i can control this cuz i want to like bitch her out for this and yah i need to talk to her about it but i dont know how if we fight over it cuz i dont want to loose a friend.

Girl, I'm telling you this now.

TALK TO HER! Or else what if she steals him away from you? I think, first off.. Talk to her. I don't care how, I don't care if ya'll fight. Because it's not supposed to end up into a fight in the first place. I think you & your friend should meet up face to face and talk. Tell her you don't like it. That she's kind of crossing the boarder line. He's YOUR boyfriend, NOT hers.

If she has a problem with that. I think it's best that you guys aren't friends. Because FRIENDS DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT get THAT close with boyfriends. If she does, I think it's obvious... She likes him. She doesn't wanna change? Drop her. Afterwards, I would tell your boyfriend not to talk to her for a while, until SHE accepts the fact that HE'S yours, and to move on.

It'll be hard, it'll probably create some hatred for a while, but just telling you... At the end, it'll be worth it. Your boyfriend should be loyal about it, you should tell him as well.. "hey, I don't really like it when you're TOO friendly with my friend. It seems like you're flirting with her."

I know you don't want to loose a friend, but there would be plenty of friends out there, who could do a better job and know her space and where the boarder is when it comes to friend's relationships.

Best of luck.

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My friends think I enjoy drama. I'm always in the middle of things, even if the drama isn't my fault. I swear, I'm only involved when my friends ask me for advice. In fact, I get asked for advice a lot. And I'm such a pushover, I always end up helping them out. And I get involoved in so many issues, and so much is in my head, sometimes their secrets just slip out. I can't help it, its like- my head is too full.
For example, one of my closest friends was dating one of my other closests friends. She just broke up with him, and hes absolutly wrecked. Hes been talking to me almost constantly since that night, trying to figure out how to deal with it. Oh, another very important fact- I have a huge crush on him. So to be honest, I'm completly keeping this advice going so we can get closer. I didn't wanna admit it, but thats kinda it. And now I'm starting to get a little angry with him, because he can't move on from this girl.
But I love it! I love how people go to me for help, I love how all my friends can trust me, I love how I'm the one people go to. But sometimes... its too much, you know?
Ok maybe I'm asking for more than just advice on if I'm addicted to drama. Just... what do I do with all this? I'm sort of lost right now. I feel like its kinda screwing with my social life in general.
Thanks so much :)

Uhhh... It's kind of hard for me to organize everything that you said. So, let me just summarize this. Basically you like your close friend's ex boyfriend, and he's one of the people who's coming to you for advice. But because there's so much you're hearing and so many people coming to you, you're telling other's secrets on accident? But you like the fact that people go to you, and you're trusted, right??

I know you're asking if you're addicted to drama, but you also sound like you're wondering what you should do about your close friend's ex boyfriend. First off, I was in your position once, everyone was coming to me for advice as well. I had a best friend who broke up with her boyfriend, I didn't like him. But for some odd reason, he came to me for comfort and advice. I was so trusted by other people, but this one time. A secret slipped out to him, and guess what? Drama. At the end, I lost all of my friends and I only had 1 or 2 of them, and they lived so far away from me. Almost the whole school turned against me, and the bad word was coming across the school. Just accidentally letting out one little secret... Who they didn't even say it was a secret.

My advice to you, is that you're not addicted to drama. I think you're just too caught up with liking your friend's ex-boyfriend. Even though she broke up with him because he's 'absolutely wrecked' did you ask her if she still liked him? Does she know you like him? If you were a friend, and you care about her feelings, you would ask her before you just go for it.

It's good that you feel good about feeling trusted, but just warning you. That trust will soon disappear if those little secrets keep slipping out. So make sure to think before you speak! Because drama, will not come out pretty. There will be tears and everything will go downhill.

You're feeling frustrated with him because he's not getting over your friend right? Well, you can't MAKE him get over her. It's good you want to get closer to him, but having you try to make him like you while he's depressed about your friend, doesn't that kind of make you the rebound? I mean, that's just the way I see it. I tried doing that once, but I think time is medicine for him. All you can do is just to be his friend. So this is what I think you should do:

1. Ask your friend about her ex-boyfriend. If she still likes him. Is it okay if you like him? If she still likes him, I hope you know what to do. It'll kind of be backstabbing if you went for him if she still wasn't over him. Just do it just in case!

2. Have more patience with him. If your friend is okay with it, you can be his friend. Cheer him up.

3. Try to keep other's secrets out of the conversation. How would you feel if someone accidentally spilled your secret?

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whenever my friends and i hang out, they'll be talking and i'll listen. but then i'll try to talk about something that happened to me and they won't act like they're listening or they'll say something else that happened to them immediately after. it even happens with my boyfriend. its not like i'm quiet and awkward, these are people that i've known for years and years. how do i get people to listen to me? its causing me to be stressed and upset and i'm tired of feeling like no one.

Alright, first off... If they were your friends, they would actually listen. I mean, are they at least sitting there quietly while you talk? Not talking over you? If they're silent, most likely they're listening. Maybe they just don't get the point that you need their advice or their response to what you're saying. If it bothers you so much, be straightforward about it, sit them down and say, "hey, I feel like you're not listening to me." And start from there. I did that to my friends, and yeah, surprisingly they listened.

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my friend dylan is selfish and never cares about anybody or anything i say and he is mean what should i do still be friends with him or not and he is always mean

tell him not to be mean, he should understand.. if he doesn't ill track his booty down and kick it for you =D

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okay.. so my friend always talks about this kid.. and my friend told me that she thinks she likes him and she knows i like him too.. and now i just feel so weird having us like the same person and were like bestfriends.. im not sure what to do. stop talking to her? or idk.

What i think you should do, is talk it out w/ your friend..

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if ever i am talking to a guy, my friend always butts into teh conversation and will start to talk. even if the conversation has absolutly nothing to do with her. and sometimes these guys she isn't even freinds with! or i will talk to a guy then she will be like Bobbbbb!!!!! Bobbbb!!!! And it gets so annoying. How can I get her to stop?

you beat the crap out of her if she keeps doing it... OR tell her to stop and that its really annoying, but go w/ the first idea if you have to.

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My friends and i have been friends for 1 year.recently we got mad at each other and we are not talking.I dont know if we should be friends again or not.But here is the thing...everybody is saying that im the one who is ignoring her when she started all this and everybody thinks im the bad person.She calls me everyday but i don talk to her.Any advice?Thanx alot!And how can i make her stop calling me every damn day.

Im going through the same thing, except its the other way around. except.. me & my friend has been together for like .. since 1st grade.. idk why am i telling you this.. okay well back to you.

Ummm.. maybe shes really mad or something, what i think you should do is js talk to her about it, shes probably calling you js to try to work things out. People is probably thinking that your ignoring her cause you not talking to her & thats probably also the reason they think you are bad, how to solve this ? is to talk to her and try to work things out.. even if she did start it.

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me and my 2 best firends are doing this thing for christmas where we make a gift and also get a real gift. i know what i am getting them as a real gift but i dont no what to make. i have alot of pictures of the 3 of us so i wanted to do something with them. any one have any good and creative ideas? thanks

Make a collage or a scrap book.

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Well at first my friend was asking me who i like but then i said i dont wanna tell her but im just gonna tell her bestfriend-shes my aquintance and my other friend is good friend. they are both good at keeping secrets but i didnt tell my other good friend because she used to like him so im unconfortable to tell her. But she doesnt know why i dont want to tell her. one day when i was trying to talk to my friend cause she didnt wanna talk to me cause i didnt tell her who i like and i tried to talk to her and i said"you hate me huh? you dont talk to me anymore i said it in a joking way and she was like" i dont hate you i just dont have anything to talk about" and i was like wtf and then when after lunch when i had a class with her she just said my name and said hi to me but that was it
what do you think about this situation? do you think shes mad at me for not telling who i like?

=\ hmmm... well she must be mad, because you won't tell her who you like, its not that.. but since you didn't tell her she probably thinks that you don't trust her or something. There's only one solution.. i really do think you should tell her, she won't be angry trust me.. if she was your good friend, then she won't be mad at you js for liking a guy that she USED to like. Trust me, everything will turn back to normal, don't hide it from your good friend.

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