about

Hi, I'm Mary. I'm 18 years old, and I feel like I've had many life experiences. I still have some things to learn, but feel free to ask me anything, don't be shy! I'll answer as soon as possible, and I'll try my best to give you the best advice!

Hakuna Mata - It means no worries, for the rest of your days. :)

advice

i am a 20 year old female that is in love with my highschool sweetheart and when i met hiim he was the sweet shy guy and even though we are 3 years apart we are still together after 7 years. unfortunatly all we do is fight. and it is over stupid stuff he tells me all the time "i love you to death but god you drive me insane and sometimes i really hate you" it makes me feel ugly and not worthy of anything. i completley ignore the words "i love you" when after that he tells me he hates me. :( HELP!!

I don't know why, but I feel like this kind of reminds me of my ex-boyfriend. He was a verbal abuser. I think what you should do, is talk to him. Tell him he's hurting you. That you don't like it when he says, "i hate you" and "you drive me insane." If he really did love you, then he would consider your feelings instead of saying it out of anger. He should be able to control his rage and fix up his attitude and change. It may take a while, depending on anybody at all. It may be days, a couple of weeks, months, who knows?

If you already did, and he's continuing to do it. Sorry sweetie, then I think it's time for you to move on! And get someone who will appreciate you more, and is able to be a MAN and change FOR you. Someone who will not say such horrible things.

Hard for you to hear, but it's true. I hate seeing people go through the same things as I did... Best of luck!

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Okay so with me and this guy Angel it's a long story. I knew him since 2nd grade, he moved, then 6th grade he came back, and we started dating, I fell in love with Angel! we dated all the way to 7th grade, thenn he cheated on me and I found out and well he denied it of course. I didn't want to kiss him after because it was just hard, but a week earlier I told him I was over it. So he got mad and broke up with me!

I didn't take him back but I was still in love with him!
I dated other guys and of course he dated other girls! Then last summer he wrote me on myspace and he wanted another chance, so I gave it to him. Like two weeks later I found out he cheated on me again! I just gave him his last chance, Buut like a month or two later he broke up with me because he didn't want to "hurt me" anymoree.

when he broke up with me he was at my friends house with her and her boyfriend, and I guess when he broke up with me [Over a txt] he cried, he said he wants to be with me but hes not ready, He still wants to mess around, and still be able to call me his girl but he knows he can't do that, and he doesn't want anybody else to have me! So when he broke up with me he kept txting me after saying sorry and all that bullshit, I didn't wanna forgive him because he hurt me AGAIN!
But it was hurting me to not be able to talk to him, so like 3 days later I txted him and say I forgive you. Then he called me and told me hes sorry and he loves me, And I told him we could just be friends! So we were, he started dating other girls "playing them" of course. And I started dating other guys. And me and him were still kind of like messing around. We were still having sex. And we were like bestfriends, we knew like everything about eachother! I trusted him and he trusted me!

But then he moved to Seattle. We stopped talking for like 2 months. Then he comes back and he calls me out of no where and tells me to come outside! I went outside and there he was!(: I gave him the biggest hug and we went to his friends house to like kick it.

Months past and we kinda like stopped talking because he was too much into messing around with different girls so I was just like I'm done with him. So we stopped talking. Then the last time we had sex, I ended up getting prego!

He was hearing it from everyone, and I was at my friends house and he was laying down next to me and he asked me and I said yes, then I can't remember what he said but he said something and I puked! Haha,

But anyways he was around but then he went to juvie. Then like a month or two later he gets out and he talks to me and he heard I was drinking and so we started fighting, Then I ended up having a miscarige! :(

I tried to talk to him to tell him what happened but he already kneww and didn't wanna talk to me!

Now he lives right across from me it's kinda creepy! ha.

But theres this guy manuel, and he lives kinda by me and I always see him, He dated my sister before but I liked him first and when he liked me Angel told him that we were dating when we werent and I guess angel was the one that got them talking. So anyways manuel and angel are friends, and he knows me and Mauel are dating now! But before me and mauel started dating he was telling me that angel would always talk about me and call me a bitch and stuff, and when Mauel would talk about me angel would tell him to shut up!

But i asked manuel what happened with him and my sister and he told me, then he was saying shes a hoe and stuff, and he started naming guys she had sex with, he said ANGEL! i started cryinggg! I felt ughhhh! like one of my friends just had sex with a guy that I reallllyy liked and now I find out the guy I'm in love with had sex with my sister! Like what the fuck! So at that point I was like I'm soooo done with him!

And he kept trying to talk to me, like to say hi and stuff and i would just walk past him and feel like crying! But anyways me and manuel are dating
and the other night we were on the phone,
and angels sister samantha keeps tryna go out with manuel, and he don't like her, and I guess he showed angel the txt messages from her,
But anyways when we were on the phone she started txting him, and like 5 minutes later Angel txted him and was like "Fool why the fuck are you txting my sister" and mauel was just like Stfu, You already know she wants me and I already got a girl I don't need her!

And angel was just like who chelo? and he was like yeah, and he started freaking out saying manuels fucked up that they are suppose to be homies and manuel was just like whaat and he started saying that he was gonna drop all his bitches for me and that I'm always gonna be his baby and shit, and he was just going on and on,
Then i guess manuel got him mad because he said "Neta wey I'ma Treat her better then you ever did, I got one girl and that's all I need, I don't need putas on the side, And i'ma treat her like a lady, not no bitch. Unlike you." and angel was just like "you know what fool fuck you puto, I messed up I know but I was gonna change for her, your suppose to be my homie wey and your dating MY GiRL, That's my baby so we'll see wassup tomorrow"

Anyways manuel wasn't even txting back and angel kept txting! Then he got REALLY mad because,
Manuel was like "fool I gotta go cause I'm on the phone with Chelo and your ruining the connection, Alratoz" Then he got helllllaaa mad!

And Now I realllllyy don't know what to do!
I'm still in love with Angel and I always have been! I love him more than anything! but he had sex with my sister and I'm gonna have to live knowing that! ughhhh! I have no idea what to do!

That's total BS. You should totally stick with Manuel and forget about Angel. I know it's going to be hard to forget about him, but know about the fact that he's just all talk. If he constantly cheated on you and has all these 'bitches' he's going to continue doing that if you guys continue on dating. Manuel, he's a good guy. He told Angel straight up he's not giving you up. He's not going to cheat on you, he's not going to hurt you, he's protecting you, you're in his care. Forget about Angel. Simple. As. That. Don't lose something that'll probably something you'll regret losing. I'm not talking about Angel here...

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My girlfriend and I have been dating for 7 months, and had a great summer living together, but once we got back to our normal school routine, and she got a new place with new roomates, she started to seem really distant. We started having way less sex, and she would sometimes seem like she had a coldness to her that I cannot really explain. She always said she was "tired" but sometimes admitted her depression, but didnt ever blame it on me or us. However, I could tell our relationship dynamic was part of the problem. The sex never really picked up to be what it used to. We continued loving each other very much and still did romantic things together, but for some reason she continued to seem distant, close, distant, close, distant, close, etc etc

She asked if we could take a break. We took a break for about two days before she said she couldnt stand it any more, so we started spending time together once again. Things seemed to be working out great at first (the break seemed to help), but after some time she again started to lack the same emotional connection that she had with me before.

It was really starting to effect me. Our relationship was making me depressed and effecting my school work. She started criticizing me way more frequently, pointing out my faults more than usual. I wanted so much for things to be how they were and for us to be connected in the same way, but they couldnt seem to get back on track. Finally one day I saw her and she didnt seem at all affectionate and in fact seemed to not really want me around. That day in class I couldnt focus at all, and I decided that the best thing for me to do is break up with her.

I broke up with her by saying that I want her to be happy, and that I think to do that she needs to be free. So I said I think we need to break, and that I need a break. She said she thinks its the best thing too, but asked, "can i come back?" She cried and kissed me and hugged me and I could tell she was sad. Then she left.

I really do not want us to seperate. I just want her to be happy and to get her life back so that we can be happy together again. I know she needed this because she really needs to fly. She was feeling like a trapped bird...I know it. What should I do? Should I not call her for a while to give her that space? Or would that ruin my chances of getting her back? I know she loves me and I know I love her. But I want to do the right thing. I want her.


Already Tried:
I have asked several places for advice. someone said I should tell her we should cut off contact for a few weeks while she sorts things out. I did just that and she said she doesnt understand why we need to do that. I am afraid that if we talk and end up getting back together, things will end up the same lacking physically and emotionally. However, I am also afraid that If I continue to cut off contact, I will lose her completely. She called me last night (the night after all this happened), in tears. I know she loves me and I love her but I dont know how to get her back. It really sucks not being able to see her.

Alright, obviously school has gotten her stressed out. I mean you said that when ya'll were living together everything was great and fine. Then when school started she acting all distant and cold. She's stressed out, she can't balance out having a relationship and schoolwork. I would say that you did the right thing, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't lose feelings for you. Just give her some space, let her organize herself and afterwards, ya'll can start again. In the meantime, don't let it effect your schoolwork. While she focuses on hers, you should focus on yours. Everything will be fine.

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I dont know how to flirt at all.
i need help.
and part of that makes me not know how to talk with guys. please help me learn how to flirt. tell me what i need to do.

i think you should just let yourself open up towards guys, like you're with your girlfriends in a way... just different gender. LOL, i flirt with guys without knowing it, i just be myself. and laugh alot but not TOO much where they think i'm just retarded, just laugh at their jokes or because they're cute or some sort. smile alot, give them hugs, or whatever you think the time is right to give them a hug. go up to them when you see them.. and start off a conversation. it's like small shy flirting, where you can barely tell.. but then, guys can get a hint of it. you don't need to be a huge flirt. (:

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The one person I have ever loved, who I lost my virginity to (huge mistake), bared my soul to, shared my future goals and dreams with, and who I planned my entire future with, doesn't want me anymore. He broke up with me today after 3 years of dating. I really thought we were going to get married and have a good future life together. This completely came out of the blue. Just yesterday we went out on a little dinner date and he bought me flowers. Today he told me that he's thought about things and just doesn't want me any more. I didn't see this coming. How can I cope? I feel like my entire world has been destroyed.

How can I get through this pain? He told me he doesn't need time to think about it or anything. He is very certain that this is the best decision. I can't stop thinking of what we had together and what we have gone through. I keep thinking about how STUPID I was for losing my virginity to him and trusting him with every ounce of myself. I am so lost. Please help me figure this all out!

hmmm.. i've been through this before. except mine lasted a year. if he said that he doesn't need to think about anything, then maybe it's time to let it go. but what happened with my boyfriend was that he regretted it later, because he was actually clear on what was going on. and he wanted me back, did your boyfriend say why he wanted to break up with you exactly? i think you should talk about it, and then take it from there. if it's a stupid answer.. let it go, it's not worth it. because then you'll know that you should be with someone that you can really trust and wouldn't do that to you. i know it is really hard to cope, but you have to let time heal you. just know that, you can fall in love more than once. i know i did, i fell in love with my current boyfriend.

hey, i'm young.. but i've been through many experiences, especially after watching my sister go through things too.. trust me on it.

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I dated this one guy for almost a year and felt so trapped and left out of my social circle I just froze up. I totally stopped talking to mark. Finally after about two weeks we talked and cut it off. Its been almost four months and I finally decided to apologize. I tried repeatedly to gert him to meet up with me so we could talk in person about the whole thing and he refused. After a while I just gave in and did it over text. He then told me he forgave me but wanted me to leave him alone for good. He told me I could never fix things and we could never be friends because I hurt him so badly. I see him every sunday at chuch and he won't even look at me. He won't let his friends even be nice to me or let them even say hey. I want to fix this. What should I do?

oh wow.. i had a boyfriend like that too! mine was like bipolar. but anyways, it's obviously that he's stubborn and won't get over it. he'll get over it on his own time. my ex still isn't over it, but then that's his fault for treating me like that. and that's the same for you. i mean, if he doesn't want to be friends... what can you do? you can't really force him right? i would just say leave it alone.. and let him get over it, and he'll be the one coming back to you to apologize.

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Ok so my bf has a female friend whom they are close they go to school and work together..the thing is i never met her or anything so when she was texting him about her personal life i would get really mad about it..yes im very jealous...! one day she text him and i told him to tell her not to text you nomore so he simply repiled back and said "please dont text me" she den said ok..The next day i was on the phone with my bf and he said that they are no longer friends becoz i guess she took it to the heart she started igging him at work and all that stuff..the thing is now that my bf is mad at me beoz they are not friend anymore & dey were close...I feel happy coz she put me through alot of arugements with my bf & lots of stress..mind you we been together for more then 4yrz..Now i know they have nothing going on becoz he told me & i trust him. But now he is mad and idk what to do..was it selfish of me? i dont think so becoz i dont want no female texting my man espcially if i dont know her..i know he would get over it, but was i right for doing this im so confused??

honestly, that wasn't right... but you should feel happy because obviously, you know that he cares about you. but it was wrong to break him and his best friend apart.

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My boyfriend and I just had a baby in July (I'm 18, he's 24). Ever since we've been together he's always seemed like he was more interested in going out and having a good time at bars and stuff rather than being with me. But if you really love someone don't you want to spend as much time with them as possible? I thought maybey when I had the baby he would stop going out all together, but that hasn't changed. I just feel like I'm at the bottom of his priorities. Every Thursday he goes over to the bar across from my house for a concert they have there, and yesterday(thursday) I told him I didnt want him to go..but he didn't care. He said he'd only be an hour but ended up there for 2 1/2..I confronted him when he got home and just said "if youre going to say an hour, then I expect you home in an hour"..and he started getting all pissy and ended up sleeping on the floor. But I was completely calm and nice about it so he had no reason to over react that way.
Today he acted like nothing was wrong.
I'm just sick of wondering if he really loves me. He says he does all the time - but actions speak louder than words. He wants to get married in January and then have me and the baby move with him where he's stationed (because hes going to the marines).. and I'm afraid to marry someone who's not 100 percent set on making me happy. Isn't that what marriage is about? Advice?!

if you're not sure, you should just go talk him about it. and if you're really not sure about marrying him, then don't. because basically marrying that person is making a commitment to him.
but, it's just like my sister's best friend was going through, they had a baby.. and all he does is go out and doesn't come back til late at night, they argue all the time.
they're still together but then they just don't live together anymore... but he does take care of that baby and stuff. you should really talk to him about it.

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i love my boyfriend so much and i don't want to breake up with him ,but i am feeling he's breaking up with me .help me please

you must feel paranoid.

i get that feeling alot, what makes you think like that exactly? i would honestly, just talk to him about it. i mean, you don't want to make any assumptions before anything happens. i would just try to correct things before it actually happens. you should just talk to him about it, and tell him why you would think that way.

if he really is, then yeah.. you can't do much about it, but you should know that there are plenty of fish in the sea.

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well my boyfriend broke up with me because his mom said i was too young for him.. but then last night i talked to him and he told me that there is another reason why he doesn't want to date me.. he said that school was around the corner and that he didn't want people to to talk shit about us because he is small and I'm thick....he tells me he loves me but he doesn't want anything to do with me in public .. does he really love me?

first of all.. what the heck? sweetie, i honestly think you can do better than him. he sounds like he's ashamed to be with you, not to make it sound bad or anything. if he really loved you, then he wouldn't care what other people thinks and just be with you. it's about you and him, not anybody else. you deserve someone that would appreciate for who you are and wouldn't be ashamed being with you in public.

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alright so im a guy and im 16. well my bestfriend and i have been tight since we were like 7, and its always been tough for him (and me) cos his sister is HOT. (she's 16 too, they're twins). and i mean ive always been attracted to her, but ive never made a move cuz shes like off limits ya know? anyway, i went over to his place the other day but he wasnt there and i kind of just ended up chilling with her. shes a really cool chick and since then weve hung out a few times but my buddy doesnt know about it... and i mean i think i really like her (i havent even put my hands on her yet) and i want to ask her out on a legit date but jesus, i do not want to deal with my friend. its pretty out of charachter for me to not fool around with a girl i like so i know that my friend is going to automatically assume that ive been on her if he hears that ive been hanging with her. so im really stuck now. she wants me to ask her out, but her brother is super protective and im scared it might ruin our friendship and/or he'll kick my ass. bros before hoes? i dont know. any advice would be great, thanks.

my boyfriend says: really strong friendships would last many years and losing that, isn't worth hooking up with someone that's really hot. if it might be okay to be friends with her, and maybe get to know her.. and that's the only way you can find out if that is a meaningful relationship.

my advice: if your friend, i know this may sound very corny and all... but true. yeah, i know the quote "bros before hoes" but, i honestly think that if he was your best friend and you want to be with his twin sister, he should let you. i mean.. this may sound gay and all.. but seriously be honest with your best friend before it gets way too out of hand and he's going to think that you've been hiding this from him for a long time. and actually tell him that you really do like his sister. and if he was your best friend, he would support you and his sister. (:

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I know this sounds random but I have been thinking about sleeping with My boyfriend and he would be My first.

The thing is he has told Me he is also a virgin, but for some reason I can't quite believe him, I trust him about everything else but I just can't get My head around that he is a virgin, because he isn't the type of boy who appears to be and his mates are always going on about who they have recently slept with.

I really don't know what to believe.

Secondly if I was to sleep with him and he was a virgin, would he know what he was doing because I personally don't have a clue, I'm shy and easily embarrassed. I've been in a relationship with him for a while but still don't feel I know him that well.

Female - 17

If you're questioning whether to do it or not, don't do it unless you're sure about it.

Lol, just because his friends aren't virgins doesn't mean that he's not. I mean try to believe this, I had a boyfriend who had an ex girlfriend for 2 years, and he's still a virgin. He had his own reasons, along with my current boyfriend. My current boyfriend's reason was because he knew she wasn't the one for him. And my past boyfriend, his reason was because they both weren't ready even though it's been 2 years.

You should just talk to him about it, tell him how you feel. For me, i just approached it like "are you sure you're not a virgin?" etc. etc... LOL!

Usually, when guys are virgins.. either way, they know what they're doing. I don't know how.. but it just comes naturally to them, that's what i'm thinking.

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well i went out with this guy and we have been on and off for like a year , he is all i ever thing about . But on new years eve we broke up for stupid reasons .It broke my heart beacause i love him so much. People say " he treated you soo bad just forget about him " but the thing is i cant and dont really want to . We havent been together
for about 5 months and i saw him the other night and he told me to my face that he had no feeling for me and it broke me ive been crying for 2 days now and the pain wont stop .. what do i do? i want him but he doesnt want me?

I've been through that before too, it's pretty tough. Usually your friends would see how he treated you before, and you don't notice it because you love that person so much. You really should forget about it, sooner or later he's going to regret letting you go in the first place. You shouldn't be with someone that treated you badly, don't fight for someone that won't fight for you. It takes more than one person to work it out, and if he's just going to be stubborn. It's not worth your time. Usually the saying "Time is medicine" is really annoying, but true. I moved on later on.. and you will too, you'll find someone else better than him. And i promise you, you won't regret it.

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Okay well heres the story .. ill try and keep it short.. im a teenager and ive been with my guy for over 3 months now.. and recently all of the group went out. Now theres alot of us.. maybe 30 all together?!
and the thing is.. my guy really likes me .. well .. he says he loves me .. like Really loves me .. but i dont know why i just dont feel the same way anymore?! .. is that what usually happens?
i mean i danced with him that night .. but towards the the end of the night i was thinking do i really want to be with him .. and i ddnt spk to him for a good solid hour, i didnt even dance with him!.. everytime he came up to me .. i said can i be left alone! Ive thought about this before.. 'do i really want to be with him'
For some odd reason i just cant understand myself, i spoke to my friends about it, and they said i should think about it before i do anything!
Im sooo confused.. he even said to me the next day online.. are you okay with me.. i feel like im loosing you! I just didnt know what to say!...
Can anyone help? =]

Honestly, i think this is actually pretty normal. I'm exactly like that all the time! You should listen to your friends, think about it before you do anything. Usually, when this happens, you think you lost feelings for that one person. But after you lose them, all the feelings start coming back.. and you'll realize that you really do like them. My sister always says it's because you're starting to get tired of them, in a way. So basically, you should try getting some space.. Talk to him about it. Then think it over.

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I have worked with this guy for over 9 months and we work in different departments. He comes into my department alot to look up stuff for his job and I catch him looking at me often. But when I smile or look back he quickly looks away. He talks to everyone else in my department but me. I am somewhat shy and do not know what to say to him but I really like him. I know he is single because he came to our Work Christmas Party alone and he kept staring at me there too!! If anyone thinks he like me back then what can I say or do to make him talk to me?

i think he does like you.. he's probably really shy to talk to you. maybe you should try making the first move and say hi, and see how obvious it is from there.. LOL

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So, say if you were going out with someone for 10 months. Then they started talking to this person, and looking at porn online together and they talked about her masturbation, and she asked how big he was and they'd constantly make sexual jokes to each other.. would you get jealous? Would you be extremely mad? Well that's what happened to me and my boyfriend. I had trust issues for a while and then they stopped talking for about a month and so i thought it would get better. Then, after a month, he and she started talking again. I got jealous, again, obv.. and i broke up with him. He said he was still in love with me (he's had really strong feelings for me for a few years now) and so when i was contemplating on going back out with him he told he didnt want to talk to her anymore because he feared it'd get like before. So, now she's going around and telling people that im too jealous and that im a control freak when i mean, it was well deserved because i cared/ care about him so much. Do you think im in the right, or is she? Do you think i should confront her about this (oh, and by the way, me and the girl had been best friends for a few years before that.)

well that's soo obvious that he likes you alot.. that was wrong if she was your bestfriend years ago also. but i'd rather say she's not really your friend either, she can't blame you.. she should put herself in your spot.. of course she'd be jealous.. so that's an obvious answer.. it's not your fault. it'd be totally uncomfortable, you can try to confront her about it and see what she says.. if she starts being a bitch, that's not your problem.

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i'm going on sort of a double date thing on friday. Its going to be me and my boyfriend and my friend and her boyfriend going to the movies.My boyfriend and i haven't kissed yet and he said he was gunna kiss me in the movie. This will be my first kiss. Wat should i do?????
Thanx in advance

don't worry about it, when i had my first kiss.. i was nervous. everyone is, just try your best to relax.. and let him make the move, and just go with the flow. everything is gonna be alright. (:

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me and my boyfriend have been dating a month and like two weeks. he always tells me he likes me soo much and he gets jealous easily when im with my guy friends so i know he likes me. im his first girlfriend soo yea i know he cares. well we joke around with eachother alot like sometimes we are mean joking and sometimes we're playful so i cant really tell when hes kidding or not...but anyway, like a week ago he was like i made out with a girl she was hott. im like ohh thats cute and i thought he was kidding and all this stuff..and we didnt talk about it..but then today on the bus my friend blake (who sometimtes jokes around too) told me that tyler(my boyfriend) made out with this chick like a week ago. and i remembered tyler telling me he did. but i thought he was kidding? soo whats going on? what should i do..are they messing with me or what. i have no idea..

what me & my sister has to say is, you should ask them if they were playing around or not. if they weren't you know what to do. if it ends up to be bad.. baby girl you can find a better guy than that. :]

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Alright...Im a 15/f
I have a boyfriend of almost 4 months now. and known eachother since 7th grade.
I love him....
i just dont know if i like him.
When i talk to him....Sometimes i get pissed off and he hasnt really even done anything im just sick of talking to him. and then theres times where he deserves me to be mad at him and i just cant be.

I have no idea what to do!!!
Break up or not?

hmmm this happened to me.. maybe you should first talk to him about this.. and see what he says.. if it doesn't work out, then i guess to break up w/ him.. that says that your losin` feelings for him.. but first of all probably js talk to himm about it first.

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Okay. Well there is this boy, and i like him and i'm not sure if he likes me. we sit infront of each other and we like to talk and stuff. And we were talkin one day and he made me laugh and the girl next to him said "Just go ahead and ask her out already!!" and he boy just sorta giggled,smiled, and turned real red. then like 5 minutes later she said it again and all he did was smile and turn real red...We like to push each others desks. and the boy sittin next to me (not the one i like) saw him push my desk. and he's like "ohh foostie!" and the boy i like blushed...and smiled at me... Does he like me!? Because one time the girl sittin next to the boy i like wrote him a note. talkin bout if he liked me. and i read a lil and she asked if he liked me and i didn't get to read the answer, then later down in the note i saw that she asked " what a friend?" so i had my doubts...so i dont know if he does... does he?

Obviously he likes you =)
once he asks you out.. CONGRATS =D
js flirt alot more..

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