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It's another crazy year in my world of entropy. I am engaged now and very excited. It will be a little while before we can get married due to money constraints, but it will happen.
I like things simple. I hope to give honest and useful advice. I don't believe in giving answers just to get good feedback. 98% of all questions put in my inbox will be answered. The only ones I don't answer are those too young to be here or too obscene/disrespectful. I don't know everything, but I think I can help a lot.

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Gender: Female
Location: AL
Age: 33
Yahoo: chaosd
Member Since: November 6, 2003
Answers: 842
Last Update: November 25, 2009
Visitors: 47048

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Do guyz like when girlz make the first move ? and what kind of move do they like when gurlz make it ?! does it turn them on wheneva a girl wants to wrestle?

It depends on the guy, and what move. Running over and kissing him, probably not a good idea. But I have gotten more response out of a tickling match than anyone I know.


So my best friend had this crazy idea... she wants me and her boyfriend and her to do like sexual things... i was all for it before but now im thinking twice... i don't have a boyfriend so i have no one holding me back... but im looking fo someone and idk if i should be doing this... i told her ealier i would do anything with them exept having sex... cause im waiting till i get married to have sex... but idk if im going to find that somone and im soo condused... she is my best friend and i love her to death... and this is something we could do together and me and her have been kinda fading... but im scared im going to regret it and me and her are going to have problems and i love her...

Confused and lonely girl

You are already having problems. Don't fold on your beliefs for a few minutes of pleasure. You will not feel good about this at all. You will create a rift between you and her for starters. You can get pregnant or a disease from this kind of behaviour. Even with a condom. You will find someone, don't lose your patience now.
This is not a healthy way to have any sort of relationship. Later, you will feel creepy around them anytime you meet up because you wonder if they want you to do that again. And it makes you feel like a slut.
She may get mad at you, but you really don't need this kind of friend to pressure you into things you shouldn't do.


My heels on my feet are seriously cracked and dry. Its disgusting. How can I make my feet smooth for summer? Are there any lotions/treatmants you recommend?

All the exfoilating and vaseline should work. Believe it or not, some olive oil would help too if its really bad. Lotion has alcohol in it and will dry your feet even worse. But if you put it on before you go to bed and put some socks on, then that will help.


ive been going out with my boyfriend for a while now but he hasnt told his parents at all so they dont know about us but i think they know something because all of a sudden me and him started hanging out a lot more and so the other day at our track meet his mom was spying on him and since it was cold outside we were sitting pretty close and he was holding me and his mom got all upset and was yelling at him i dont know what to do because i dont want him to keep gettin in trouble for being with me he says he doesnt care because all he wants is to be with me and his parents dont want him to date until he is 16 but he is already and has had girlfriends before me but none have been as serious as ours is now and i think he should tell his parents but i dont want his parents to make us break up because we really love eachother please help -- should he tell his parents about us-- sorry its so long!! x0o

He probably should. Maybe he can invite you over for dinner. But if he is say 15, you can wait a little bit for goodness sakes. You two are just beginning your dating journey. His parents are just trying to keep him from growing up too fast. Now he may decide to rebel, but that is normal teenage stuff. Just keep talking to him and when the time comes you will be able to date more openly. And its more fun when he can drive, even if parents have to come along.
You could also try to get your parents to talk to his parents about the situation. Maybe then you two could be chaperoned. Good luck.


hi i've been with my boyfriend for quite a few years now, but unfortunately, everyday i start to think to myself that i should leave him. why is because every single time we get into fights, he never is willing to stay and work it out. he either hangs up the phone and ignores my phone calls/messages or says "just drop it" with an attitude. he also calls me names like bitch when he loses his temper, and personally, i've had enough.

but as you can imagine, i have grown emotionally attached to this guy. i fell in love with who he once was, a sweet, considerate, man. but now it's like i don't know who he is anymore and lately it's just the only thing i can think about is how the quality of our relationship is slowly crumbling beneath us.

i personally do want to call it quits, or at least take a break from each other for a little while, but he refuses. he says things like he can't live without me, and if i leave him he'll kill himself. in a sense i feel that i'm forced to stay in this relationship because i don't want to live knowing i made someone commit suicide over me.

it's a really sticky situation, and i don't know what to do anymore. i do love this guy, but i feel as though i'm falling out of love with him for the person he has become.

please help...

Don't let him blackmail you into staying in an unhealthy relationship. He is saying these things to scare you and to make you stay. Let someone know about his cutting tendencies and get out of the relationship. You deserve better than this and you will feel better in time. It will take a lot of work on your part to recover. But he is a control freak and out of control. It is no fun being in a relationship that you have no say in. The fact that he is unwilling to compromise with you makes me say that you definitely need to go. Surround yourself with your friends and get busy doing something else with your time.


I used to live with my brother but now i have to live with my other brother and he's constantly drinking and hitting me i don't know what to do if i go to the police then i'll end up in a home again and i don't want to go back to one of those places and if i run away then i'll end up on the street again and that's no good either, but i can't stay here it's getting harder and harder to deal with him and he keeps trying to rape me. I have no other family my dads in jail for beating my mom to death and all of my other family members are even worse than my brother one of my uncles actually did rape me. I really don't know what to do. What can I do?

Do you have a job? Can you get a job? If you can support yourself, you may can become an emancipated minor. It also depends on how old you are. I would get in touch with some sort of social services. In a home is better than DEAD. You can't recover from dead. Pull yourself together and use everyone within your power that you trust. School teacher, counselor, preacher and tell them how much you need to be on your own. It will not be easy, but you can get through this. Start praying. You don't deserve to be mistreated no matter what. You are on my prayer list. Let me know what happens if you can.


My friend's favorite thing to do was always acting, and she always wanted to make it big time. She recently tried out for a broadway show, but didn't think she'd get a part. It turned out that she did get a part, and a good one too! The thing is, she got so nervous about going into fame and all that, that she's not really sure she wants to do it anymore. I mean it's her dream to be famous and all, but she's just kinda nervous about it. I know that if she turns down the offer she'll regret if for life. What can I say to her to remind her of the good things in fame? Also, what are the advantages and disadvantages of being famous?

Tell her this is a good shot at what it is really like to be on stage, and she should go through with it. If she doesn't like it after this show, then she should pursue something else.
It is healthy to be a little nervous because it shows you actually care about the work you do. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse.
The good thing is that one part can lead to another, and there might actually be another job on stage you like even more. It is hard to get a chance to make a lot of money and be famous. She needs to do it only if she is willing to work at it.
The hardest thing about being in the entertainment business for me is that you work on the weekends and late nights because that is when people who work the rest of the time get entertained. But you sometimes get to watch other people work when you are off.
The biggest reward is that you have taken a group of people from their everyday life and transported them somewhere else through the author, director, and technicians. It takes many hands to make a production work.


I will first apologize to the moderators/administrators if this question is a little inappropriate, but I need some good honest feedback and opinions on this. If you are thinking of deleting, please let me get at least 5 feedbacks first thanks :). If I could target these toward specific group columnists, I would (instead of individually, I want a variety of answers). If you're 17 or younger, please avoid reading further.

I'm a 19/f and my boyfriend is a 20/m. For our upcoming third year anniversary, I want to do something special for him.

My question to you men and ladies is what is your definition of sexy, so I can take into consideration what I can plan out for our anniversary?

What I was thinking was lingerie and maybe a striptease/lapdance? Do you think that would be appealing to him? I've asked for his input and he just replies with "surprise me". I know he loves me in lingerie (formerly i wore a lacey black outfit with a garter belt and thigh highs). What should I opt for next, babydoll, gown, a slip...?

Does anyone else have any other good ideas? I want it to be romantic but passionate as well. Thanks in advance!

How about something he can untie? I always find those kinda fun. And rent a room. Have a fruit tray with chocolate to dip in and some water on hand so you don't eat too much. Spread some rose petals on the bed. Put some candles on the dresser (but be careful to not burn down the hotel).


I'm a sophomore in high school. This is my second year in the theater dept. in high school. I got fed up with everything that goes on in that dept. today (things that I'll leave unsaid) and just went off on everyone. Well, not as much as went as told the truth. A few backed me up while the rest sat there looking like idiots (they all knew what I/we had said was true but didn't have the balls to agree or say a word). Aside from the actual shows, these past 2 years have been a complete waste of time. Well, I'm switching schools next year and since I've earned many "points" to go towards my Letterman’s jacket, I don't want to lose them just because I switch schools. Will I lose my points or do they stay? Or does it differ with each district?

I would write down all the things you earned points for and ask your current teacher to write a letter for you concerning what you have accomplished. Do contact the instructor of the school you will be attending because there may not even be a program to award you. Don't despair because that experience will still be useful on your resume and application when you apply to college. And you might want to put a week or so between your outburst and getting this done, so it doesn't affect the letter.


Okay.. i need some way to cover a hickey.. i have a huge one on my boob.. which is no problem.. but if i get one on my neck.. i need a way to cover it while im around my parents.. Is there any special make up for it? I've tried foundation and concealer.. neither worked.. If you know of anyway to hide it.. besides covering it with my hair.. lemme know!!


P.S. I'm female.. so I have access to all kinds of makeup

It's too hot for a turtleneck. Have you tried tattoo cover up? You can get it at most bridal sites or probably at your local department store. I would definitely call ahead for that one.
The best advice is don't let him put one on your neck. If he does, then do it to him and let him deal with it. He'll look even funnier.


Ok,sorry if this is long. I moved away from my city,call it A to a town/suburb call it B. If i might say,i was friends with almost everyone(in my grade in elementry school and middle school] in my home city, A.But when i moved to B,everything changed. People in B judge you by how you look and they hate you even when they never met you. I have friends,yes,but im not all that pretty and i know people dont like me,people that i dont even no hate me. I hate it,i dont hate anyone or talk about people behind there backs. People in A are so much nicer but ever since i moved,i get sadder and sadder every day. I know its stupid but i really cant handle it! I know at least some people will hate you were ever you go but im just not used to this change. Im not all that outgoing,but could anyone give me advice for my situation please?

Baby steps. First of all, all the people you think hate you are probably in your head. They just don't know you. Find one person that you have something in common with and start talking to them. There is always at least a few people who are willing to reach out. Just don't try to do everything at once, and you will be ok. Join some clubs or organizations that you have interest in, and you will have a good start. Change is a good thing to learn to manage that will help you throughout your life.


ok i had sex with a condom like at the beginning of april. im not susposed to start my period until the beginning of may. but every morning for like that past week my stomach has felt just a little bit upset in the morning and a little into the late afternoon. but my bobs dont hurt and im not throwing up and im not smelling anythign unusual. and i just got over having a really bad sinus cold. so should i be worried or not? please help me guys!!

It could just be from your cold and swallowing all that snot. Wait a few weeks and get tested. Remember worrying about your period being late makes you period late.


What is the best thing to use to get grease off clothes? My boyfriend works in the oilfield and always works on cars and gets grease all over so what is the best thing to use to get the grease off??

I actally have used GOJO on the grease spots and followed it up with regular laundry detergent. It works.


i lost a parent a year ago. my other parent is getting married in the summer. how do i show this fiance that i still love my parent, but i'll try to have a relationship with the fiance.


It takes some warming up to them. I am sure the new soon to be step parent understands how you feel, and they will probably go the extra mile to help you feel comfortable. The new person is not and never will be a replacement for your loved one. Just take your time and get to know them. I would highly suggest a lunch or shopping trip with them so that you start knowing one another. Remember that they care about you, and want good things for you as well or your parent wouldn't be marrying them. (At least I hope so).


Ok alot of people i know think that i'm not a virgin ( even my own family). I haven't had sex and so what i know alot about sex. and they think i've given oral too.which i have not.i tell them over and over again but thyey don't belive me. And ruemers are already goin around that i'm a ho. What can i do to make them belive me?

Why do they have to believe you? You know in your heart what you are. If you are behaving like a slut, then people have a tendency to believe that you are. And sometimes it is the people you hang with. There was an interesting rumour that I did drugs in school, but I hung around people who did. (Which is bad because I could get in trouble because of them as well, but that's another question).


i just got fingered and didnt tell my mom she would freak but my sis knows and if i do something bad she will tell what should i do?

If you mom asks, tell her the truth. She isn't going to kill you because it's against the law. Otherwise forget about it. Just don't tell your sister anything you don't want your mom to know. The only way to keep a secret is if one of the people who knows it is dead.


What are some ways I can keep my hair healthy (breakage, damaged hair .. etc) but still make it look great everydaY? I rate high! :)

Give your hair the day off every once in a while and don't blow dry it or use any heat related products.
Eating healthy also proves for nice shiny hair and makes you feel better as well.


Well lets see where do i start.. My mom and step dad got in a fight yesterday over my step dad not going places with her *like movies,out to eat,work out..* well anyways after a couple hours of all this my step dad left to go to work.. so then a little bit later my mom called me down stairs and was like you better end your relationship with your boyfriend soon cause he'll get you to where you dont wanna leave him *he already does* adn then he'll hurt you and he wont want to do anything with you anymore.. well then it turned into a big arguement with me and my mom she never exactly met my boyfriend *we been together almost a year.. and she thinks she knows this boy and thinks he's a complete asshole like my step dad is to her.. well anyways i said shit like that to her.. and she said okay whatever you'll see then... Well later on that night i was talkin to my boyfriend and then i started think bout what my mom said * i know i shouldnt let that shit get to me* but it bothered me and i brought it up to my boyfriend and he got mad and i hung up on him... then he texted me and said *baby im so sorry i love you, and that he dont want my mom interfering with our relationship..cause im the only person who he needs in his life cause im always there for him through anything..* Aww isnt it sweet well him and me are cool... but what should i say to my mom so this dont happen again...?

As long as your mom is projecting her pain onto you, there is nothing you can say to calm her. Just nod your head and move on. She needs someone her age to talk to about her relationship problems. Defending yourself here will get you nowhere.


well i got certain dri on tuesday,it worked amazing,but on friday i started to use it everyother day.then on saturday i used it again and on sunday i used it again.but it seems to be not there something wrong.please help.thanks

I would put it on every day for a week or so. I don't know specifically about that brand, but for deodarant in general, it works better immediately after a shower.


My bestfriend(15) , this guy(15), and I(14) all go to that same church. Now my bestfriend and this guy are going out and their parents dont know about itand are completely against them being friends. There hole relation ship is based on rebelion and she realizes it but says she doesnt care at least not right now. He has hurt her a couple of times and she still refuses to see it. She won't listen to any of her friends including me. What the heck am i supposed to do, just sit back and watch???

Pray. I mean there is nothing you can do when you have made your point and she isn't listening. She will feel stupid later when she finally breaks it off with him. I promise you, I have done it before as a teenager and a 20 year old. People in love are truly blind.


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