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Location: New Zealand
Member Since: April 13, 2011
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Last Update: May 2, 2011
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Hey! I just have a question on your guys's opinion. And also some advice. I'm sixteen, and a girl. I am 5'4 and 105 pounds. I wear size 7 shoes. In your opinion would you say that's very small...? It seems like people (guys in particular) always make a big deal about how "little" I am. And personally, I don't think I'm that small, I'd say average right? I mean I am thin and I'm not what you'd call strong per say but yeah... It does bother me a little, the hype some people make about it. Like my guy friends were giving me shit saying I shouldn't play powderpuff this weekend (its like, one day where girls from schools in the area get a team together in their school and play other schools in flag football) because I wouldn't be any help and just get myself hurt. It's not even tackle football! Or even just guys at shcool will constantly voice how small they think I am and how that means they can do whatever they want to me. Or my boyfriend has also said on occasion how he doesn't think I'd ever be able to defend myself if I needed to. And its combined with all the times people make me feel like I'm helpless and can't do stuff cause they think I'm little. It's comments and jokes that most people don't think would bother someone but that just build and make me mad... and I'm not sure what to do about it... I can't change my body and I'm not saying I want to because I'm okay with the way I look but it seems like no one else is... And it's really starting to take a toll on me. (link)
Hi!

I'm 'little' too, but not in personality!

I think that it is a phase that your friends are going through socially, because I had the same experience. I found that if I didn't really talk to them about my size when they mentioned it, and if i just ignored their rubbish comments and carried on doing what I wanted to, that people got over it eventually. They could also see that size didn't matter when they saw me achieving goals that I set out to do.

Play all the sports, do all the things you want to, and just say 'Whatever' when they start blabbing on about it, and brush it off and go and be BIG! Some big in size people are really little in character, especially if they don't care about others and will say obnoxious things.

And as a women, it is nice to fit under a guys armpit for a cuddle, and not be as tall as a bloke. Most guys don't want to date really tall ladies as they get intimidated by their height, and feel uncomfortable. Little is also seen as cute and feminine, so play that card to your advantage.

have fun being you!


im a young teen female, and i was just wandering why do out of no where ur tits get hard and soft. one is hard and one is soft, or there the same somethimes, its really weird. And im not having sex. So whats up with this? thanks (link)
Hi, it's hormones. After all, your breasts are designed to give milk to a baby eventually, and every month your body goes through it's cycle preparing to get pregnant, and then not being pregnant, over and over again.

Always see a doctor if you are concerned, especially with weird hard lumps that don't go away.


I am 13 and I think I have started my period, I had it for a couple of days and then it stopped, it has been a month and I havnt had it again, have I started or not??? (link)
Hi, Yes it sounds like you have your period. What can happen is that for the first 6 months (approx) it can come and go at irregular times, until it settles more into a pattern.

It might be that you miss a month or that it comes every 6 weeks or something like that. It's like in the beginning your period can't read a calendar. It has to learn!

I hope that helps.
If you are concerned see your doctor.


Hey people umm - I'm a 12 almost 13 national swimmer and I don't wear my swim suits to tight or any thing but I notice when I go in the bathroom that I have a camel toe but I don't shave down there or anything !! - can some one give me advice (link)
Hi, it's normal!

If you are self concious, wear your towel wrapped around you then drop it just before you hop in the pool.

You could also talk to people who are with you when you are wearing togs only, so they will look at your face, rather than anywhere else.

Also, other people probably will be looking a lot less than you think, so relax a little. You probably look really good!


Hi, I read your response to my cancer post. I am for suree a christian.! I go to church every sunday and wednesday! I am saved and going to heaven but I love everyone here and still dont want to die. I hate to tell you this, but whats inside of me is growing and is so bad that uhm... im not gonna live another week. I can BARELY have the strength to get on this computer! I have the choice to keep fighting or I can give up any minute and..die. I dont cry much but I am now. I would love to keep in touch. (link)
Hi! Thanks for writing back, I am really glad you did!

I am SO pleased that you are a Christian and know you will be going to Heaven! Even though this is a tricky time for you, it will be so good there, with nothing to worry about! With that time when I had drowned and died, I had such a sense of happiness and even though I could think about my mum, it was like it was actually impossible to worry, because worry doesn't exist in Heaven!

That can be hard to understand now, because it is so easy to worry on earth, but have hope that it will be awesome there for you!

In saying that, a lot of crying and worrying now is normal! What you are feeling is normal! Even now, after I have gone through all that, and do belive in Jesus and going to Heaven, I still have times when I get worried about dying too. Especially the idea of leaving my family behind, and how weird it is that you are alive on earth one minute and not the next. But, YOU don't die, just your body. The real you, your spirit will carry on! For me it was like I could still hear my voice in my head, the way you do when you are thinking. And I still felt like the same ME just without anything bad like pain or scaredness or things like that.

I totally understand that you must be so tired, so if you don't write back I'm okay with that, and if you do that's awesome too!

What type of cancer do you have? And what part of the world do you live in?

I live in New Zealand, and it is really beautiful here, but we have had a rough few months with really big earthquakes damaging our city. We are totally okay though, which I really think is God's protection over us.

It must be such a bizarre and difficult thing for you to deal with, the idea and reality of expecting to die soon. How are you feeling? Is it a painful thing, or just tiring?

I saw this movie called My Sisters Keeper. It was very intense and I almost wished I didn't watch it because it is very sad, but in it it had a girl about your age who had cancer and died. The girl made a really good scrapbook before she died that had photos from her life in it, all the things that made her happy, and things she wrote about people, like how much she loved them and how much they mean to her. It showed her mum reading it after she had died and it was really meaningful to her and made her really happy.

I'm not sure if you have done anything or even have the energy to, but maybe someone could help you to do something like that? or maybe you could make letters/emails to people to tell them what they mean to you? Or a video diary/message?

But don't worry if you are too tired, cos the people you love all have amazing memories of you that will keep them happy for years. I know this is true because even when my kids are sleeping, doing nothing at all except lying there, I still get the greatest joy in the world, simply because I can look at them and they are mine, and I think about how much I love them and the fun stuff we have done together.

I hope you are okay. I have been praying for you and will continue to do so.

I know it sounds wierd, but from experience, being dead felt nice and I was happy. I guess you would be if you are in God's care, which you are!

Jeremiah 29:11

For i know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for a hope and a future.


You are just about to come into God's awesome plans for you!

Don't worry about your family as much. God will take care of them too. They will grieve and be sad, but that is normal, but eventually they will come right too, which is good.

To show how God protects our family, even when we are not there, i will tell you a story that happened to a friend of mine during the recent really bad quake we had in our city.

She (Clare) has two girls, an 8 month old, and a 2 year old. She had put the baby to bed, in her cot with a special large piece of material/velcro that wraps around her tummy to stop her rolling around in the cot. Her other daughter (the two year old) was sitting in the large chair in the lounge. This chair has a huge window behind it, a really tall computer desk just beside it with a big heavy computer and loads of books etc all over it. On the other side of it is the couch and then a wall with a logburner and chimney.

My friend was on the toilet at the time of the quake! the water came all out of the cistern and poured all over her! She had her pants around her ankles and was trying to pull them up, but was being thrown around by the quake. She had to get out of the toilet, past the laundry, past the back door, through the kitchen (which was SO messy, cos of all the cupboards opening and everything falling out everywhere) and then into the hallway. All while the quake was violently throwing stuff around, her included! By the time she got to the hallway it had stopped.

She checked on the baby first. Miraculously, the babys room was extremely unaffected! The only thing that had moved was a little paint/black board, that had tipped, and as it was about to smack into the cot, a blanket fell off the top of a cupboard, and caught between the blackboard and the cot, so it didn't even make a loud bang! The baby was safe as it had that thing wrapped around it to stop it rolling around!

The house was a complete shambles, but when she went into the lounge, what she saw really showed her God's protection for her family. The little girl was still sitting on the chair (that itself is unusual as she is a busy wee girl). The huge window behind her chair had shattered. The computer desk had tipped and everything fallen off it/moved around. The logburner/chimney wall had completely smashed up and the whole wall had broken, but fell outwards! The lounge was very messy, but the best bit is that the chair that the wee girl was sitting on was completely clean and protected! Not even one shard of glass from the window had gone on it! The girl was safe!

And because the baby's room was clean, the girls had somewhere to play while the parents could clean up/organise the house! What a blessing!

God has got everything in his control and everything is planned. Even if it doesn't make sense for us, it is all good, and we can rest and relax into knowing that.

Ecclesiastes 3
There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to rebuild.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance
A time to scatter stoneds and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak up.
A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.


Isn't it interesting how a time for peace is the very last one.

You can have peace, and you will have peace.

I love writing with you.

I hope you are okay today.

xxx


15/f

I bruise over nothing. I wake up with new ones all the time.

Before spring break I had no bruises. Here's a picture from after. I had 17.
http://tinypic.com/r/29dya94/7


Then here's another picture from this past week.
http://tinypic.com/r/242a1hh/7

They show up mostly on my legs, but sometimes in other places such as my arms & hips. I don't know what's happening, but they don't heal quickly either.

When I was younger I never bruised, now I could bruise from someone slightly poking me. (link)
Hi there,

I am not sure what is causing this, but as it is something and unusual, and because it is related to your body, which you want to make sure is as healthy as possible, I recommend visiting a doctor as soon as possible.

I hope it turns out okay.


I'm 14 and a girl and I think I really want sex or the touch of someone else. I think about it a lot and I sometimes dream about it. I know I am really young so sex isn't really the best thing...I know about masterbating but I am afraid to touch down there. As in like skin to skin. Like using my finger. And I don't think I am comfortable on putting some house hold object up there either...and I definatly can't get a dildo. I need help...any adivce? (link)
Hello,

I hope my answer will let you think about something else to do with masterbating.

For a start, you are 14 and have hormones changing in your body. Thinking about sex is normal, but acting on it isn't always a good thing.

Touching yourself doesn't hurt physically, but I have found it to be a real problem, because I became really preoccupied with it and wanted to do it so much. This still goes on now, and even though its only once a day or every few days, and that doesn't seem like much, it is so annoying and I wish I had never started. I guess like a person who wishes they had never started smoking.

I really seriously recommend just trying to relax and understand that everyone at 14 thinks about these types of things. Try to get a new something to do to keep you busy, like a new sport or craft or anything really that you have wanted to try! Getting busy is what stops your mind from thinking about masterbating, and getting busy is helpful!


need help its a strange story what happened is that :
we are 3 friends, and we are in class 6.my one friend ,she got a crush ,it mean that a boy like her, he sent a flower to her and her driver got to know and told her mother ,because the boy gave the flower to her driver to give her, , it happened strange that, that boy told his friend to tell her that why u writing me love letter i will tell to the principle,but it was not true, because i saw with my eyes that he was giving the flower to her driver, then after 3 day later,2 boys came for us too, we got to know that 2 boys were having crush on us too, but we don’t like that 3 boyz,but they are handsome,but we cant do at this age, then where ever we go they all were there everyday and we get shy, and then later after a week, we got fight with each other (girls fight)at the boyz topic,and after 5 days we start talking, then before yesterday we 3 friends decide to make a plane to break the friendship of that 3 boyz,they are also best friends like we are, then we decide to stop shying from them ,but we shyed yesterday, but today we didn\\\'t shy! i am proud that i did not shy at that boy ,i never get shy at any other boy, but i use to get shy when he is near me, but today no!!!! girls never shy from todayand we use to go to school cafe ,they were their, and when ever we see them we use to feel shy they were trying to make us shy, and we use to go back, but today we went face to face to the cafe and did not shy ,but they did, now i need you guys help,give me plan to make their friendship breakup or feel shy or something please give good plan ,also give ideas to make them jealouse or to take us out of their mind. (link)
Hi,

Don't try and break there friendship up.

Stay away from them.
Don't look about them, and try not to talk about them with the girls. Decide with your friends to think about other things and do other things, and not talk about those boys.

Don't give them too much attention, don't look at them or talk about them and eventually they will get bored and go away.


My son's face and lips and head swell up when he goes outside. I'm thinking about building him a bubble, what do you make those out of? Also how do I get him to stop crying about being a "bubble-boy"? (link)
Don't build him a bubble! That was a movie. You could kill him as it wouldn't have fresh oxygen in there.

Maybe it's the UV light that does it? Go to a doctor or paediatrician immediately!


long story short.

im 20, have a 10 month old daughter, her father lives with me and my parents. when we get along we are best friends, when we fight he says terrible things. you could basically compare our life to an eminem song. mainly love the way you lie, because it has gotten physical. on xmas, my stepdad threatend BD (babydaddy) because he was sick of him taking advantage of this situation, he has not worked in 7 months, doesnt help and sleeps like all of the time. that gave BD more power than he needed because afterwards he played the if you love me you wouldnt let him do that card. i said fine and kept our daughter from my parents for a month. on valentines day i ended up calling the police on him for getting violent again, my family ended up finding out. after 2 weeks i let him come home and everything has been cool except one night my brother came in and beat him up at 2 in the morning. i yelled at my brother and havent spoken to him since. everything has been going somewhat smooth until yesterday when he accused me of talking to my brother behind his back (which i wasnt even aware i wasnt allowed to talk to him) he the proceeded to tell me i have to tell my brother hes not allowed at our family functions and my daughter is never allowed to be at my stepdads family functions if im not there. (those people are basically my family) I told him that im not going to keep her from any of my family and he doesnt have to be around them but im not keeping her away. he says this means i dont love him and we ended up getting in a bad fight and he brought up the something from my past (my brother innapropriatley pretended to do things to me when i was 10, he didnt actually do anything but he made me very uncomfortable) so BD said that i need to go fuck my brother and have a threesome with my stepdad and brother and kept yelling at me about how i was molested and liked it and saying terrible things. He tryed to leave "forever" and I freaked, begging him not to go. he raised his fist once but didnt hit me, but did leave marks on my forearms from moving me and now today my arm is in serious pain. i dno if its from that tho. after valentines day i swore i wouldnt listen to it anymore and i wouldnt feel it anymore. i have so much hope for us. counseling created more problems because the counseler was an idiot and told me that i need to let him sleep all day because i cant control him...which gave him the power again. i dont kno what to do, he wants to move out next week...i want to get out of my moms and live this life with him and our daughter and be happy but that means agreeing to distance frommy family who will ALWAYs have my back and be there for me. i love him to pieces and i dk how i would even leave him after 4 years. he refuses to put a ring on my finger and in our fights he will tell me its my fault for being such a dumb cunt. i know i make him out to be terrible, but at times he can be the sweetest. and it would kill me for him to go meet another woman, who he loves, treats right and takes care of. it would make me feel like it really was me that is wrong. i just dont know how to handle this any more, things were going alright until yesterday and i cant even concentrate with out tearing up. our friends want us to work it out, and they know our history and they know we are also best friends and deeply in love but i just dont know... (link)
Hi, I really feel like I have to write to you.

You may not realise it, but you are in a seriously abusive relationship.

I know you love him, and you have hopes for what you would like him to be like, and how nice it could be, but your boyfriend has a SERIOUS anger/abuse problem. You do need to leave him. this is for your safety and for the safety of your daughter.

It is also because, even though you will have to get over not having him around, it will be better for you in the long run, and for your daughter, because of the peace and consistancy it will bring to your life.

Having a person treat you like that is horrible. Your daughter is witnessing it, and every month that she grows, she will become more and more clever, intuitive, and scared. If you stay with him she will learn that that is how guys treat women, so when she is older if a guy is horrible to her, she won't go because it will seem 'normal', like that is just what happens in relationships. That is not what just happens in a healthy relationship. You are being seriously abused.

Another very obvious sign of the abuse is how he is trying to get you away from your family.

Your family sound kind and lovely. Your BD sounds abusive and like he wants all the power. He doesn't want them around, because they can empower you to live a better life. He wants you around to use as a doormat. He wants to be the big man, and needs someone under him to kick around and treat like shit, to feel better. That is not a place for you to be as a mom. You absolutely must get out. If you don't, it is like you are committing a crime against your daughter by not giving her a proper healthy life.

Guys with anger work in a cycle that just goes on and on and happens over and over. It won't stop. When he is sweet, you give him another chance, because you think 'Oh this time he means it, he is sincere, he wants to change, he loves us...' Then the cycle happens, where he starts getting annoying, and then it gets bigger and he gets abusive and explodes. Then it's quiet and he goes nice for a while, then it builds up again and he explodes. Over and over it goes. It doesn't stop.

The only way for you to stop it is to end your relationship, in one clean step.

Get some professional legal help, to set up a specific written agreement that states when he can have access to your daughter, and what the conditions are around that. such as, he doesn't get to have her at his house, he can take her to the playground. He is too dangerous to keep her alone.

Stick close to your family. They really love you. You can tell this because they dont abuse you. They try and take care of you, which is what your brother was doing when he beat up BD. He was showing BD that the way he treats you is not okay. It is good your brother loves you.

Keep your parents close to you. Don't try to please him by pushing them away. They love you the way you love your daughter. Imagine what you would do if when your daughter was grown up, you knew she was with a guy who was violent. It would make you sick, scared and sad all at the same time.

What he is doing is wrong to try and keep you away from them. He is manipulating you into doing stuff to please him, but have you noticed he is never pleased. He wants you to be his doormat, even if his words don't say it, his actions have a million times over.

YOU NEED TO END YOUR RELATIONSHIP FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR DAUGHTER!

IF YOU STAY WITH HIM YOU ARE BEING SELFISH AND NOT PROTECTING YOUR DAUGHTER!

You will feel upset. That you will get over. Please take care of your daughter! Having no dad around is a hundred thousand times better than having an abusive dad there.

You deserve better too.

GET OUT!

I would involve the police too. Don't tell BD your plans, just get it all organised first, or he will manipulate you again.



Hey(: So I Dont Really Want A Lecture On This Question. But, Im sixteen, and My boyfriend and I have been talking about having sex. We both decided that we want to do it. And Im Aware of all the precautions I need to take already. But i have several questions. Like, will it hurt really bad if i can only fit two fingers while fingering? Does the amount of bleeding just make the situation gross? If Neither of us orgasm, how do we know when were done? And Also, How Long do i need to be on birth control before its save to have sex? (we are also using a condom, dont worry)
Thanks(: (link)
four fingers would be horrible! try one, and get him to be very gentle. And have him clip his nails, and wash his penis before you go anywhere near it.


i have just passed my highschool exams.i have been good in science but my maths is bit weak.my marks are-phys-86,chem-85,and maths-76. Plz help as i if i join commerce there will be all new subjects. (link)
The best will be where you are more passionate and more interested in, because that will motivate you even if you have never studied those subjects before.

As an example, I had a friend who did accounting because he was good at maths. He became an accountant, but is bored.

If you want to do something amazing because you are interested in it, then go down that path. Your passion will help you succeed.

You can learn subjects but you can't learn passion, it's either there or it isn't.


Name key (fake names):
Me: Annabeth
Boyfriend: Jaysyn

I'm 16, a sophomore in high school. My boyfriend, Jaysyn, is a senior, 18. He's really sweet, and it didn't take me long to fall head over heels for him. I met him last year when I was a freshmen and he was a junior, and we started dating one month later. He was always very sweet and understanding about the whole sex thing: he wanted it, but every time I tried, I told him the truth--I'm no where near being ready for that, even if I might want it. Every time I said so, he was really sweet, saying he understood and wouldn't dream of making me do anything I wasn't ready to do. Lately, he's been going back on that promise. He's been getting kind of physical about it, too. Pushing me and shoving me and stuff; a couple of months ago we were at his house watching TV in his room because he gets free movies on his XBox through netflix, and he started kissing my neck and touching my leg and stuff. He was getting really touchy, and pushed his hand away and told me to stop, and he got really mad and he raised his hand as if he was going to hit me, but instead he just pushed me away from him, and I almost fell off the couch. I left when he did that and I went home. He called me five times an hour all night after that, and almost ten times the next day. Since then, he's been getting more violently, and touchy feely and rough, and when I deny him sex he gets really pissed. Last night I got up to leave and he grabbed my arm so hard I thought my wrist would break. Then he pushed me and I fell into the table--my knees are bruised. He called me a whore and a tease and told me I was being a bitch, and I left. This morning we had a date, and I didn't expect or want to go on the date after last night, but he showed up at my house right on time. I told him to go away and started to close the door, but he forced his way into the house and apologized for last night and got my oat from the closet and we went out and actually had a good time. He was really sweet, and he acted as though last night never happened. What do I do? (link)
Hi

He is abusing you and these are more than warning bells to get out of the relationship!

You have let this carry on too far already, and it is giving him permission to treat you that way, which you don't want to do! Even if your words tell him to stop, the fact that you are still there tells him that he can hurt and abuse you and you won't leave, so he will keep doing it and it will get worse.

Try to get someone to be with you when you dump him. And to be with you during the fortnight that follows. Staying close to your parents is a good idea, and if this is not possible then find good girlfriends, their parents, teachers, pastors, anyone, and tell them what is happening for back up support.

What he is doing is serious, and you need to get out.

Guys with anger issues go around in circles. They explode, then come back all sweet, and then it builds up with yucky looks, pushy behaviour, until they get loud and rought and explode. Then it starts all over again.

Don't accept his sweetness. You have seen his true character. If you stay with him you will be hurt emotionally and physically, and if you ever had kids with him, it would be horrible.

Please get out!


soo i'm kinda stuck. I'm not really sure how to explain this. I'm considered catholic. But at the same time, i'm not really sure if I believe in catholicism. My family and I celebrate catholic holidays like christmas and easter. Its a tradition blah blah blah but i'm not like super religious about it. I don't go to church. like ever. the last time i went to church was maybe 7 years ago for christmas. My friends talk about the bible, about mary and jesus and his disciples. But in all honesty... It makes no sense to me. I really have no idea how to explain this haha. I believe in it.. but not that much. Like I believe there is a god, and there was a jesus. But i'm not like super duper religious, like I don't read the bible. I don't think I have ever read anything from the bible haha.

anyways.. I'm at the point in my life where a lot of bad stuff is happening. A lot of drama and stress. One of my friends told me to pray and become more religious. She said that I should go to church more often and confide in a priest and confess my sins. She says this will make me a happier person. (I am almost at rock bottom in my life right now)

Part of me believes that I should pray and confess my sins etc. But part of me believes that this will make no effect at all. I've tried praying before.. I really have. many and multiple times. I tried praying so hard, outloud and in my head. But the thing is... nothing ever changes. I dont understand how some people can pray and then things magically change for them. But how come when I pray, nothing changes???

gah i'm just so confused! I'm catholic and believe in god and jesus. But not overly religious. Why does nothing change for me when I try to pray? I just need some religious advice please! (link)
Hi,

I'm a Christian, and this is the most incredible thing. I have been repeatedly running into a verse over the last few days, which I thought must be God reminding me, but I think it is God giving it to me to give to you!

Basically, it says that if you obey God your prayers will be answered.

So maybe you aren't obeying God.

Start to try to obey God, and he will see where your heart is. If you obey him because you love him, that is when things start to happen.

He gives us things to obey to protect us, and they really do help!

Also, if you pray wanting something, but it doesn't line up with God, then it probably won't happen. Like if you pray to win a million dollars, even if you are going to use it to build orphanages which you would think God would like, well if you are lazy and don't work hard, or if you have a hard heart and are stubborn and argumentative, then you aren't really lining up with God, so it probably won't happen.

And i know some crazy mean people seem to get good stuff like winning the lottery, but they live in a human world where human lotteries take place where anyone can win. Not necessarily a God thing.
I do agree with reading your bible. If you fill your head with the good things of God, then when some rubbish thought or idea comes into your head, it's easier to do the right thing and think the right thing and be more positive. I think the devil can and will get into your life to try and ruin you any way possible, and it sounds like you might be right in the middle of that now.

If you have a good knowledge of the bible and are reading if often, it is harder for Satan to do that to you cos you can slay him with the word of God.

For instance, if Satan tells you that you are rubbish and your life will suck for ever, you could say to yourself, 'That isn't true because like it says in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future."

The more you do that, the more Satan hates it and will flee from your life, leaving you feeling happier and more at peace. Also God is in control. Don't give the devil a chance to trick you into believing otherwise. If you believe his lies they can become very real. So start reading your bible a lot and believe it!

Proverbs is great as it tells you sensible ways to live and things to follow. So are the new testament books.

I also do really believe that you need to confess your sins. But I don't think you need to go to a priest to do it. You can have a direct relationship with God and Jesus yourself, without a priest doing it for you.

Just praise God and honestly say the stuff you have done wrong, and ask him for his help in changing you and helping you to do the right stuff, and thank him that he forgives you, because he does forgive you everytime you say you are sorry!

A really important part of this is that you repent from your sins, which means if you know that you are doing something wrong, that you try your absolute hardest to stop it. Now everyone in the whole world sins everyday, so believe that you won't be able to be perfect, but also understand that it is the fact that you try to turn from your sins and do good that God likes. And the most important bit, it is not what you do that gets you into Heaven, it is your relationship with Jesus and the fact that God gave you Jesus to be nice to you cos he loves you.

I have this really great book that shows this really well. It shows how Heaven is absolutely perfect and how God is an absolutely perfect God. It then goes on to show how every single person in the world is a sinner, cos even stealing a pen, or telling a white lie, or being really annoyed at someone, or finding a person really hot and imagining something a bit dirty about them is a sin, and we have all done so many things wrong!

It then shows that in the olden days, God loved his people so much, that even though they sinned, he stil wanted them in Heaven, but because they have sins, they can't go to a perfect Heaven. So he created a way around this, by getting them to find a perfect male lamb, and take it to a place of sacrifice. They then had to put their hand on the lambs head, so the sins would come out of thenm and into the lamb. That made them clean, but made the lamb dirty with sin. So the lamb gets killed and all the sins, and then the person is clean and perfect and can go to Heaven.

Then God had another plan, and he sent Jesus, who was the only perfect person to walk this earth. He never did one thing wrong! This was because he was made from God. (so he was perfect like the lamb and male like the lamb)

God sent Jesus to die on the cross. Just before he died, it was like all the sin from everyone who believed in him in the world was put onto Jesus, the same way it had been put on the lamb. Then when Jesus died, all the sin died.

That only had to happen once. That one sacrifice lasts forever. If we believe in Jesus now, then he has our sin, and we can go to Heaven.

We do need to try and repent from our sins though. It would be really offensive to God if he had his son killed so we would be clean of our sins, and then for us to not at least try to be better/clean ourselves.

Also, sometimes God's answer may not be what you want, but it is still an answer, and it is for your good in the long run even though it doesnt look like it at the time. If you understand that God is your father it makes sense.

Like if one of my little kids asked me if they could eat 10 packets of chocolate biscuits in one hit. To them it would seem really awesome and like a great idea. I would seem mean and uncaring when I didn't let them, when I said no, or when i made them do something else instead. But I love my kids, and I know that eating that many biscuits wouldn't be the best thing for them. I may also know something in the future that they did't know like we were going out for dinner that night at a super restaurant. Or I may know something like the biscuits had a dodgy ingrediant in them linked to brain deformities, but didn't want to tell them as they wouldn't understand, so i just want to protect them and just have to seem mean. Thats okay by me though, because I love them and protecting them is a priority to me.

Does that make sense? Sometimes God's got a better plan, and he may not give you what you want, but his plan is better, and once it happens we can look back and see how...

Try to get your hands on an easy to understand bible. There are so many available and some are written in really hard to understand language and some are so modern and easy to read, they are actually fun! A study bible is so helpful as it has little notes at the bottom of the page to help you understand what the things you are reading mean.

My bible is a New Living Translation, and it is called Life Application Study Bible, and it is awesome!

I hope this all helps! I will pray for you as well.

I encourage you to keep praying. It matters what you believe in the long run. Heaven is a very real place, and so is hell, and you really want to make sure you go go heaven, cos hell would be horrible, even for 10 seconds, let alone for a time that just keeps going on and on and on and on and on.......

Your life is more than 80 years. It is eternity, and when your body dies, you don't die, your spirit will go to either heaven or hell, and it is critical that you get right with God and go to Heaven :-)

Also, life has ups and downs. A bit like a roller coaster. So when you are on an up, expect a bit of a down, and when you are down, cheer up, cos an up will be coming your way!

Once I became a Christian, i prayed that God would teach me, but in a gentle way, and it really happened! My life used to be full of dramas, but it really became much more gentle, and instead of a big rollercoaster i now get little slopes up and little slopes down, but nothing dramatic, and it is lovely and peaceful!

And it also says in the Bible that God never gives a person more than they can handle. So have confidence in yourself when you are dealing with the hard stuff in life, because God has confidence in you, and that is a pretty amazing thing!

Good night, and God bless you!


Im a 14 year old female. My life has many downs to it. I have many problems too. Then again, I have things to be greatful for. I have a few friends I love and many great church friends. I play high school softball, travel softball, and basketball. I absolutely love sports causr I am mainly a pitcher! Then...last week I was in a terrible car crash. I had to go into immediate surgery and had servere brain injurys that caused me not to remember anyone for a few days. I almost lost my legs completely but I didnt. But i AM paralyzed the rest of my life in a wheel chair!! I never thought anything like that could happen to me. I can
never do sports again or walk again! I just lay in this hospital bed as my friends and family telll me how sorry they are. The amazing part is that I havent cried since it happpened because I want to be strong. Theres noone I have to cry with but now I need a shoulder to burst on! (link)
Hi there!

I don't want to say that sucks because sometimes the most amazing things come out of things that seem to be the worst.

I am just trying to remember, but I read a story just the other day about this lady who ended up being paralysed from the neck down, and went on to get married, and become this really famous author and speaker who travelled around the world telling everyone her story, talking about God and encouraging others!

Her name is Joni Eareckson Tada and she has a website: www.joniandfriends.org
She's a Christian too!

maybe it is a God thing that I read that story just the other day, and now I am on here for the first time today, and able to tell you about her! Check her out, she is amazing! i am sure you will feel encouraged!

Also, I like in Christchurch, New Zealand, and we have just had the paralympic world champs here and people with disabilites like yours are incredible, and WAY more fit and sporting than me! You should google that and pray that if that's what God want you to do, then to help it happen, otherwise work at a great recovery and pray for him to show you what he is going to use you for!

We have just had humungous earthquakes in our city (our family is okay), but we know this young Christian woman who was parked in her car right by her church where she worked. The wall of the building (a huge concrete slab) came down and flattened her and her car down to the level of it's tyres. Remarkably she lived! I bet that if God does something like that to a Christian, it's because he has an amazing plan to use you for something incredible! (Just like you!)

I hope we get to keep in contact!

from your sister in Christ!


well i have been with my boyfriend for only 3 months and i am pregnant and i want to keep it. he seems to be ok with it but i need to know for sure he is ok with it. i want to know how to tell he is really ok with having this baby and what questions should i ask him so that when i face my parents with it i have some form of answers to answer them about the babies father.. thanx in advance. (link)
Wow! Congratulations! Having a child is such an amazing experience!

Firstly, it is great that you want to keep your baby! That is a sign that you will make a great mother! You baby will thank you for loving him/her so much one day!

Even if you were married, there is so much advice and judgement from everyone that it is so annoying!

Make up your mind that you will keep the baby and love it and do everything that you can possibly do to keep the baby loved, safe and healthy, with or without the father and you will be okay.

With your boyfriend, ask him what his ideas are for where you will live once the baby is born. If he says together, then that is a good start.

(How old are you guys, by the way?)


What is your boyfriends relationship with his family? Does he like them, or completely avoid them. I ask this, because if he is devoted to them, chances are he should be loyal to you and helping with the baby.

If his family is really dysfunctional, he may not have been taught the good skills of sticking around, and taking care of his responsibilites. (He can learn these, but it is a long process. My fabulous husband is still learning some of these things on a daily basis!) Even when it is hard it is worth it. Just make sure you dont' get abused emotionally or otherwise, and protect your little one.

Ask him if his friends ever cheat on their girlfriends. If it is normal for them to do it, he may think it is normal for him to as well. If his friends are all generally good guys, then he probably is as well. (of course there are exceptions to this rule)

I have some other advice that I would love to tell you! :

It is a good idea to get yourself an amazing support network. Your parents are a great start, but look further as well, such as young mothers groups, antenatal classes, talk with your midwife/doctor and they can give you a list. Make contacts and friends with as many people as possible. They will help you later.

With all the advice, listen to it politely, but use your gut instinct as to what is right for you and your child, then do it (so long as it is healthy and legal)

If you feel tired, down, etc after the baby is born, this is normal, with the hormomes around your body. But if it seems too much, more than you would expect, or hard to deal with talk to your doctor quick. They can be a wonderful help.

Also speaking of doctors, if something is wrong with your child, even if it is little, go the the doctor or emergency straight away. No one ever thinks a mother is silly for taking care of her baby/child. And if you don't like the advice, or if your gut feeling doesn't agree, get a second opinion.


There is an incredible book called "hypnobirthing, the marie mongan method' which i really recommend.
It made my second birth feel so good that I had no pain during pushing and it felt nearly orgasmic and I wanted more!

Good luck! I hope you have an amazing time! Don't give up either, it's hard but wonderful for all of us, but absolutely completely worth it when you have their little arms around you saying 'hug' or when you teach them something, or when they do something really nice for someone else, which they learnt just from watching you be nice to someone. So amazing!


I am 15, a girl, and I recently was diagnosed with cancer. I start chemo tomorow. I am going to loose all my hair and throw up a lot. I am very scared because I always thought I was healthy. My friends and family come to see me a lot but after a while I think they will forget about me and not come as often and not talk to me anymore. I was told I probably wont live much longer and Im soooo scared! Please help. (link)
Hi, I'm really sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I can imagine you must have so much swirling around in your head right now.

First, I bet you your friends and family won't forget about you. It does often happen that everyone suddenly comes around you and then once they figure you are doing alright, they start to get back to their normal routines. That is okay. But no one will forget you. Also if you need people, really tell them that you want them around! Often people don't know how to help, or can even think that you would want time by yourself, when that may be the last thing you want. People love helping other people, especially if they love you or are a great friend, but may just need to be told what to do, so they don't feel like they are getting in the way. Maybe say that you want visitors at a particular time of the day. Or say you are tired, but just want someone to sit with you while you sleep, or that you want someone to bring you all the food that you feel like eating, or someone to play a game with you. Your friends will probably be really grateful that you are still wanting to be their friend during this! They love you for your amazing personality, and even when you are feeling down or throwing up, they still love you!

Second. Being told that you won't live much longer sucks! They are not always right at all! I have a friend who was told he has the most agressive cancer and would die by last Christmas and he hasn't!

Don't sell your things or give them away just yet! If you do live longer than what they expect you will want those things to use, and would be bummed out that you didn't have them!

Also, are you a Christian? I had this thing when I was about 12 years old, where I died by drowning. The most amazing thing was, though I was freaking out when I was drowning, once I started breathing in and out the water, I realised that I wasn't dead! Sounds weird, but I ended up floating above the ground and watching the whole thing happening with people pumping the water out of me and doing CPR and my mum crying, and I was like "Wow, look at that. What they say is true. You don't die, just your body does!" I remember then thinking 'shouldn't I be seeing someone like God about now?' and then like the biggest magnet, I got sucked back into my body and woke up!

I wasn't a Christian at the time, and surprisingly, I didn't think about this much, or even become a Christian for years afterwards!

The reason I'm saying all this is because, even though your body dies, YOU don't die! You feel just the same, only no body.

You have a spirit and you need to figure out where it is going. Either up or down. To get to Heaven the Bible says that you have to believe that Jesus is the son of God, and ask him into your heart, and believe that he died so that you can go to Heaven.

(Long story short: Heaven is awesome clean perfect place. Everyone on earth sins, ie, does stuff wrong, even if it's a little white lie, or stealing a pen or something. It makes you not clean or perfect enough for Heaven. Jesus took all of our sins on to himself, then when he died on the cross our sins died too, so we are clean enough/perfect enough for Heaven. We should try not to sin, but we will always sin, so say sorry to God, keep trying not to and he keeps forgiving you and you still get to go to Heaven!

I really don't like the idea of Bible bashers, but I really believe this with all I have, and really care about where your spirit ends up!

Often through the hospital they have Chaplins who can answer questions for you without pressuring you or making you feel weird. They are a good sounding board, someone to listen to you as you cry or freak out, or just be someone to talk to about anything else apart from cancer and God, just for good company! They don't judge and you can be normal around them cos they are just normal people too :-)

I think loosing your hair may be hard, but could you turn it into something fun through your school by having a haircutting day, where people get their long hair cut and donate it to people who make wigs for cancer patients, and other people could raise money by getting people to pay a donation to them if they shave their head to support you, and the money could either go to you or to the Cancer Foundation or something? Sometimes making a big deal of stuff if a fun way helps you, but it also helps everyone around you because it brings it out into the light, and people get informed, and feel that talking about you and your cancer, and talking to you is okay.

If you just feel like chatting i would love to keep in contact with you through the questions thing on here. I hope you are okay. I would love to hear how things are going for you. Maybe you could start a blog to pass the time, but also as a record for you and your friends and your family.

God Bless you xx




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