Lately I've been feeling really gloomy. I've asked lots of people online for advice, and they suggest I might be depressed. I'm kinda swapping back and forth with the idea, and I've taken test online and they say Im depressed. The thing is, even when I feel well, I just about always prefer depressing stories, movies, songs, anything depressing. I' even seem to enjoy it after I experience pain. My mom was even speaking to me a few months ago how that wasn't normal. I know I've had depression in the past for personal reasons, and I know it was severe then, and I know what I'm feeling now isn't nothing like what is was then. I haven't experienced any kind of tragic event, and this has been going on all week. Is there some way I could find out for sure if I have depression without some multiple test or going off to see a professional? I try too keep this kind of thing from my parents too. Anything I can do besides that?

The only true way to know is to have your doctor screen you for depression. It is a painless exam usually done along with a complete physical to rule out any organic reason for feeling as you do. The screening itself is usually a dozen or so questions your doctor will ask you.

Depression is a very strange illness. If you are like me and suffered with it undiagnosed for any length of time it becomes your normal. Being depressed was my normal for I was depressed or lived in a depressed state for many years. Then something happened to throw me into a deep depression and I asked for help.

This is called hitting bottom and is the closest you might ever want to come to having a nervous breakdown you ever want to come to. I do not recommend waiting for something like what happened to me happen to you before getting screened and getting help, for it was very frightening.

My advice is to see your doctor, get screened then follow your doctor's advice.


It seems like every day I go through the same issues. I feel like the whole world is against me and I feel useless and unwanted. I'm homeschooled and don't live near my church so am away from people my own age 90% of the time. When I am around people my own age, I always try to be the person they want me to be. I just realized that I don't know who I really am and don't know who the real me is. I don't get calls very often, but when I do, I always go over how I'm gonna act. I always act super happy, even times when I'm not. I've always felt like outside of family, there is no such thing as a true friend. Those that I get real close to that I'm not related to, always seem to let me down in the end. i used to feel I could trust everybody, but now I feel I can trust no one. For the past few days, I've just felt like crying. I'm always worried about how my life is gonna end up. I'm always worried that I'll fail at a job, relationship, friendship, family relationships, marriage, parenting, everything. I'm 16 wanting to move out when I'm 18, and constantly worried that I won't be able to pay the bills and will be a burden for my roommate, I don't even know how To move out. I feel like the whole world is against me, and it's become where I feel the only one I can truly depend on is myself. My cousin is the only one I believe will always be there for me through to the end of time. I know I don't have depression, because I'm not unhappy 100% of the time, it's just gotten where I go through major mood swings, and they are really hurting me. I'll be happy one minute and I tend to overthink things and it causes me to lose it. I usually keep my true feelings bottled up till I'm alone. I'm constantly thinking of moving out and feel very unhappy with my life. I feel helpless, unwanted, and trapped. I go through major mood swings over little things and its made me lose control of my thoughts causing me to feel like hurting myself even over the little things. Sometimes I do hurt myself. I usually try not to let things bother me, but lately I've been helpless. I feel I will never make friends, and that my life will be a total failure. This isn't something I will ever tell my parents, and I don't want to talks someone over the phone because it makes me uncomfortable. I am fine using websites though. There are many times when I'm happy so I have to ask...Whats wrong with me? And how can I get help without anyone knowing?

Having struggled with undiagnosed depression for most of my life; both in my youth and into my adult years. I can say that what you have written fits the diagnoses of a severely depressed person. When you wrote that you have thought of hurting yourself and also doing so at times moved you into the area of a severely depressed person.

At some point you are going to need to tell your parents but that does not have to happen right away. At 16 years of age you're old enough to go see a doctor on your own and I suggest you do so to be properly diagnosed.

We are not doctors and while what you have written has all the indicators of depression you need to be screened by a doctor for depression. Make an appointment with your family doctor for a physical. You will need one anyway to rule out any organic cause for feeling as you do. While with your doctor ask to be screened for depression and tell the doctor what you wrote to us.

If as we suspect he diagnoses you with depression you can ask the doctor to inform you parents. Your parents are going to want to know how or why you have become depressed. The simple answer is you don't know and that is the truth. Most of us don't know why and will only find out through proper treatment. Which may include both medication and talk therapy with a psychologist.

If between now and the time you see your doctor, you feel like hurting yourself don't do it. Pick up the phone and dial 911. Tell the call taker you want to hurt yourself. They will stay on the phone until help gets to you.

As a former first responder who responded on these types of calls the help sent usually is the closest fire truck with trained EMT's to care for you until an ambulance with paramedics arrive. The police will also be dispatched to make sure your safe and that the firefighters and paramedics are allowed to treat you. Don't be afraid of who arrives first. Everyone who arrives at where you are is there to insure you are safe and can go to someplace where proper help can be given to you.

This is not something that will go away on its own and can only get worse if we are right that you are suffering from depression. Tomorrow first thing in the morning call you doctor and tell them you need to see the doctor urgently.


Hey! I'm a biologically female 15 year old. I've been really confused and twisted on my gender of late and I was hoping you could help me untangle the mess. So I'm a biological girl, and I'm okay with that most of the time. But I dress like a boy and have sudden impulses to cut off all of my hair. I just cut the hair off of old barbies instead because I tell myself that I'll regret cutting my hair. The impulses I feel to cut off my hair can last anywhere from half an hour to a month. I walk around the boys clothes section at stores, wishing I could pull off the guy clothes better. I'm okay with being a girl like I said, but I long to be a boy when I think about both my near and distant future. Let me explain that. I want to start a YouTube channel sometime this year, but I want to be a boy on YouTube and want my followers to see a boy. When I think about being a biologist when I'm older, I think about being a male. When I think about boys that I like, I really only enjoy thinking about being intimate if I think of myself as a boy. It's weird. I feel like if I stayed a girl I'd regret it, but if I transferred to male, I'd regret that too.

I agree it sounds like what it is called "Being gender fluid." Being "Gender Fluid" is not something I am that familiar with to be able to give you any advice other than this.

Gender confusion is real. There are a number of different reason for it including this is the way you were born or how you may have been raised. You do not seem to be in the Transgender stage though it sounds like you might be heading in that direction and I agree until your sure you should not go there.

The best advise I have is to seek out a psychologist who specializes in gender confusion to help you find the real you. To start with you want a Board Certified Psychologist or Psychiatrist as these Doctors have specialized training and completed Fellow ships as well as passed specific test to obtain the Certification. This makes them the best qualified to help you.

It may be easy to find a doctor who specializes in the area as it is a relatively new area of expertise.. I would suggest you call your states local board of psychiatrist or psychologists for a referral. If they cannot offer a specific referral call a company called Magellan Health Services.

Magellan Health Services is one of the biggest providers of Mental Health services in the country. They may be able to find a doctor through their network of practitioners whose practice specializes in this area. The credential doctors, Nurse practioner's and other mental health providers.

This does not mean you are crazy. A mental health practioner are the best source of help for you to come to grips with your sexuality and gender confusion.


I'm a 16 year old girl and I've been thinking about options out of life for almost three years now. I keep finding things to hold on to and I try to look for the little miracles in life but it's getting harder. I'm honestly so sick of living with who I am and things seem to only go downhill. Last year in high school I had to deal with a lot of sexual harassment and was beaten and had someone forcibly remove my clothes in the school. I've always felt sad and upset before that incident, but after the constant torment last year my self esteem has plummeted and I just want to die. My parents don't understand why I'm so upset (especially because I have a loving family) and they make me feel bad for feeling these emotions which only hurts me further. I'm at my last breaking point and I'm not sure where to go from here. I don't want to die, but it feels like the only way out. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Before I answer this question I need for you to answer a question for me.

You are a registered user which means we can look back and see past questions you have written to us. This is helpful in answering your questions as it gives us a form of chronology of events in your life.

You wrote this question just before midnight on March 18. Just 12 hours earlier you write about looking forward to going to the prom with this one boy and talking to another.

What happened in that 12 hours to make you so depressed as to write to us with the problems you told us about at almost midnight? I would really like to know as it would help me tell you what you need to do to put things right with the second question.

Suicide is not the answer, it is the wrong solution to a problem that punish only you and not the people causing you to feel this way. I want to properly punish them within the limits of the laws, which are on your side, and help you feel better about yourself.

You can write me in a private message if you wish. Just follow the instructions how to do so.


I am 25 years old and dating a guy who is 35 years old. I love this guy I am dating for almost two years now and he loves me too. I feel like he is not very experienced but has been married for 8months and is now divorced so its not like he hasn't had any experience. I am a virgin and have never had sex yet I don't have any problem.
Every time we hug and Kiss( not french), I see a big large wet spot on his pants (a size of a subway cookie) LOL I am concerned because I want to know if this is an issue that I should be worried about. I just want him to be fine... I care for him a lot

If this happens every time you guys are intimate, non sexual style, then I would guess, since we are not doctors, that your guy has a problem called premature ejaculation (PE).

While there are many theory's for PE there no real medical cause as to the cause for PE. There are a number of different treatments and exercises that can be done as well as creams desensitize his penis to prolong coitus. Some work some don't.

The fact that you care for him a lot is good. The fact that you are a virgin make's it hard to offer a suggestion as to how to help him as in general the exercises require a willing partner. My only suggestion then is to as carefully as possible as so not to embarrass him suggest he see a doctor. There are doctors that specialize in the treatment of PE. Usually these doctors are Urologists.

If you think you will lose your virginity to this man it would be in your best interest to help him with this problem. It would be best that he start by consulting a doctor.


My dad died last week and I do not get along with my family, and this is something I've accepted for years now. From the outside, we looked like the perfect family, and everyone thinks I'm the sweetest, nicest, most perfect daughter. But in reality, I am the emotionally out of control black sheep in my family. I've never felt truly understood by them. At times in which I've felt suicidal throughout my life, they weren't there for me emotionally.Everyone keeps telling me how highly my dad spoke of me and how much he loved me, but all I can remember are our fights and horrible, hateful words toward each other, that most people who "know us so well" could never imagine. The two of us have had a very distant relationship since I'm 11 or 12. Now I'm 22. I have wonderful friends, thank god, who make me feel amazing but they live very far away. I feel totally and completely alone right now. Anyone who says things like, "blood is thicker than water.." and "family is everything" clearly can't know where I'm coming from, because honestly the most loving supportive people in my life are friends and teachers. Thankfully, I will be away from home next year. What can I do cope with this until then?

First my condolences on your loss.

I'm a little confused at what I'm reading. I see lot of anger here. Anger is one of the five stages of grief which is why I'm confused. Are you angry over losing your father or are you just plain angry at you family for the way you feel they have treated you.

I never got along with my father as he blamed me for whatever was wrong in his life. Nothing I could do about it except keep my distance from him when I realized there was nothing I could do about it. When he passed I did not suffer grief I was relieved.

You are right about "blood is being thicker than water" though it does not mean what you think it means. Good or bad they are your family and we do not get to choose them, it also does not mean we have to like them or even love them and I may just know a little about where you are coming from.

This all may straighten out in a year when you are away from them but that is too long to wait. Your friends are too far away to lean on for support. What you need is someone to lean on, who will support you, who will help you find the root cause of your anger, you may not realize the root cause, and help you channel it properly or it will follow you for the rest of your life.

The person best capable to do this for you and with you is a psychologist. If you are covered under moms health insurance or her employer has an EAP program you can see a psychologist under both programs. The psychologist is a person who can become that best friend you can tell your deepest secrets to confident that no one will ever hear them. With the help of the psychologist you will learn how to deal with your family and channel these feelings you have in a more constructive manner so that you don't feel as the "emotionally out of control black sheep in my family."



I'm not really sure how to express myself right now I just want to vent to someone to listen. I come from a loving family and could get whatever I possibly wanted. But I sometimes feel so sad that I am going no where in life I always feel everything is my fault. I care about people before i care about myself. I would kill myself to save another person. Growing up I can remember this would happen and I think it is getting worse. Whenever I do something wrong and I make someone angry I start hurting myself when I get in a fight with my boyfriend I start punching myself and pinching my arm I slap myself across the face and I tell myself how useless I am and how my mother should have never had me. Is this normal? I don't know if I want to express my feelings to my family about this. I don't want to be put into a physc place and I feel like if I say something people are going to think I'm dramatic. I just needed someone to vent to about this. No one knows about these. I often think about cutting myself but I don't think I have the courage to take something and cut myself with it. What's wrong with me?

No what you write about is not normal and we are not doctors so we cannot make a definitive diagnoses. You may be suffering a form of depression that has caused you to have a low self-esteem as well. This is called clinical depression and is generally caused by a hormone imbalance easily corrected with replacement hormones.

Now because these hormones are secreted into the part of the brain the control depression your family doctor may refer you to a psychiatrist to medicate you. This does not mean you're crazy the referral is because of the fact that the medication or hormones affected are secreted into the brain a psychiatrist is the best trained MD to medicate.

The hormone imbalance is only part of the problem. Something else triggered the anxiety, the suicidal thoughts and the other self harm thoughts you are having which all relate to the depression. For this you will most likely be referred to a psychologist for talk therapy. This is the person you are looking for. The person you can safely vent to with your most secret thoughts in the knowledge they go no further than the therapy session for they are confidential between you and the therapist.

My suggestion is as follows: First see your family Care Doctor for a complete physical while with the doctor ask to be screened for depression. Remember you are an adult now so everything between you and your doctor is confidential. The doctor needs written permission from you to share your medical information with anyone including your parents even if you are still on their medical insurance.

The physical is to rule out any organic problems for your problem. The screening for depression consists of the doctor asking you questions from which the doctor can make a diagnoses. Once the doctor made a diagnosis follow the doctor's instructions.

Should you feel suicidal or feel like you must hurt yourself in any manner before you see your doctor either call 911 for help or go to the nearest hospital emergency room for help.

There is o reason to suffer with whatever the problem is as help is just a phone call away. Statistically 1 in 3 of us will suffer from some form of depression in their lifetime. So this too is nothing to be ashamed of for as I said help is there for the asking. I know this for I could have written this letter before I asked for help for my depression.


Hi my parents finally found out that I want to be tested for being bipolar. It runs in my family and my emotions have been like a roller coaster since I was little. I'm kind of happy that I can get help, but Im scared. Like scared to the point were I would say I'm not going and wouldn't cooperate. And the thing is I don't know why! I've wanted help for so long but now that I can get it I'm terrified. I guess I'm afraid the medicine is going to change who I am and I've done some reasearch and the side effects are kinda bothersome to me. I dont know. Has any one ever been screened before for it and is now on the medication?

First and foremost nothing says you are bipolar. The fact that it runs in your family does not mean you will manifest this illness. In fact it is very possible that you will never manifest any symptoms of this illness as generation skipping is possible with this illness.

What is important is that you are knowledgeable that this illness is prevalent in your family and that you make your Primary Care Physician aware of this so he or she can monitor you. The testing for any mental illness is painless. Depending on your physician you will either be given a questionnaire to fill out and then have a conversation with the doctor or the doctor will simply ask you questions. Based on your answers, if you are being seen by your primary care doctor, he or she will make a diagnoses and then decide how and who should treat you.

If it is determined you are bipolar this illness is best treated by a psychiatrist along with a psychologist for talk therapy. The psychiatrist being a medical doctor can prescribe medication(s) and the psychologist will help you stay on medications through talk therapy.

The biggest problem with bipolar disorder is staying on your medication. For when you are on your medication you will feel normal and see no reason to take it. Then you go off your medication and see no reason to take it. Maybe not you personally but a typical person suffering with this disorder does have a problem being compliant with their medications. As long as you're living at home with your parents you have help being compliant.

As to the medications themselves. The psychiatrist will most like give you a couple of different medications based on your diagnoses. These drugs are antipsychotic medications and they affect every person differently. How they affect you is something you will have to be honest and tell your doctor so they can fine tune the medications to get the desired results and make you feel as normal as possible.

Be aware of the dangerous side effects and report any of them immediately to the doctor. Some of the more normal side effects will go away after a few weeks when your body gets accustomed to the medication. If your doctor doesn't ask you to do this then I suggest you keep a medication diary. Each day write in your diary exactly how you are feeling throughout the day. A good time to write in your diary would be at breakfast, lunch, dinner and before bed. Make sure to include how well you slept and how long you slept.

No I have not suffered with this disorder though a good friend of the family has. My wife also works in the mental health field and we are very close to several psychiatrists especially the one who treats our friends so we are somewhat knowledgeable of this disorder.

IF and that is a big if diagnosed with this disorder you can live a long healthy life by simply working with your medical professionals. Keeping the diary I suggested will help them help you. There is really nothing to be scared about. If you are by polar and from the little you wrote I would be surprised if you are. It is better to know then not know and get the proper treatment and learn to live with this disorder just as you would any other long term illness.


I have one coping skill and that is being on the computer. It is not healthy in other peoples opinion but I don't care. It is the only thing that helps me. I have tried everything else anyone has recommended but people are still telling me that being on the computer is not healthy. What do I do?

To truly answer your question I would need to know just what if anything you are trying to cope with. I would say as a general rule anything that helps you cope with something is not totally bad for you as long as it is not an addictive drug or alcohol.

That being said it has been found that the social networks on the web can become addictive. I would say if you can walk away and stay away from your computer when you have other things to do or you are not needing to cope with something. Then you are probably not addicted to your computer or the things that it can addict you two.

I too spend a lot of time on the computer during the day. I have never seen it as a coping skill more as way to pass the day and stay sane while my wife is at work. Maybe in the beginning it was a coping skill as I was forced to retire early having become disabled in a work related accident. Not being prepared to retire I needed something to occupy my mind and I found it on sites like this and other things of interest to me. Being active and working since I was 16 I needed something to do or I would have gone nuts.

When my wife comes home the computer generally gets turned off or she has things that I need to do for her on the computer; pay bills, look up recipes, order thinks to be delivers and other things. Once that's done the computer is turned off until the next day. Yes I have a tablet and a smartphone we both do and we both check emails during the evening.

If that's coping then I'm guilty too, though we all need to cope with something in some way. As long as you realize this is just away of coping and nothing more. That you can walk away from the computer when you want too I would not worry.


Hi! I'm a 14-year-old girl and I've been feeling really weird lately. Everything that I'm about to list has been going on for about a month now: I cry over EVERYTHING. For example: My dad said to stop playing guitar because I was too loud and he was trying to work so I went to my room and cried. I've been really irritable as well. I do have a generally short fuse but now it's even worse; I've even been going off on my parents occasionally (which I feel terrible about afterward). My little sister even decided not to share a bedroom with me because I was constantly yelling. I've been eating and sleeping way more as well. I had a relatively healthy diet in the past, but now I get home from school and eat a bag of popcorn, a pop tart, crackers, chocolate, and anything else I can get my hands on. I get super drowsy and just kind of lay down wherever I am whether that be the floor, a chair, a bed. I'm wide awake throughout the day but I get home and it's like school drained me of my life. I use to really like school. I don't like a lot of things that I use to like. I'm openly rude to all of my friends and I don't want to be around them. I sit in the bathroom and read during lunch periods sometimes. Speaking of reading, I only feel okay when I'm reading or on my blog. What's wrong with me??

Relax your normal it is called Puberty. What your going through is battling all the changes affecting your body because of all the new hormones floating in your body. Sometimes Puberty will call what doctors now describe as teenage depression and while you write of some of the symptom of teenage depression you do not write of all of them.

What I suggest is that you make an appointment with your family doctor for a complete physical. Doing so will rule out any organic reason for why you feel this way. While you are with the doctor ask to be screened for depression. This is a simple test where the doctor will ask you a number of questions. Your answers will allow the doctor to make a diagnoses.

Whether you are diagnosed with teenage depression or not there is medication the doctor can give you to make going through puberty a lot easier on you and your family.

As I said in the beginning; based on what you have written and my advanced years as a parent and hopefully future grandparent. You are most likely suffering problems of puberty which is normal for your age. See your doctor for help with this problem.


Since past 2 months, I have encountered difficult in breathing, fast heartbeat especially reach 11pm.I have encountered few times, awoke from sleeping and cant breath (just feel like dying). I tried to lie down, sit or stand but it just cant help. I feel like I am losing my breath in next second.This cause me worry when to night time. Hope can get advise, I am desperately looking for help.Thanks.

As we always say here, none of us are doctors. I have been a first responder with a Fire Department Rescue Squad. The fact that this is happening on a regular basis is disturbing and needs to be checked by a Cardiologist. The list of possible reasons start with anxiety and include a host of other problems.

Trouble breathing and a rapid heart rate at any time qualify as an emergency, even if you know they have self-corrected in the past, you should dial 911 and go to the hospital while it is happening. This gives the doctors the best chance of accurately diagnosing the problem if they can see it while it is happening. The paramedics can also do an EKG in the field while they are taking you to the hospital which also gives the doctors information they may not get if you have self-corrected before getting to the hospital.

Just how worry some or dangerous is this problem. As I said I'm not a doctor or am I a paramedic. If I was the first responder to respond to your 911 call though I would recommend strongly that you allow the paramedics, who are following me, to take your to the hospital when they arrive.

If you have insurance the cost of everything will be covered. If you do not have insurance you won't be turned away there are programs available to cover the costs. You are someone that needs to be seen at a hospital. Don't let how to pay cause you not to call 911. Payment is secondary to life saving and there are programs to cover the costs if you cannot pay.


What is the side effect of xasten

You should check with your doctor immediately if any of these side effects occur when taking dexamethasone:
More common •Aggression
•blurred vision
•decrease in the amount of urine
•fast, slow, pounding, or irregular heartbeat or pulse
•mental depression
•mood changes
•noisy, rattling breathing
•numbness or tingling in the arms or legs
•pounding in the ears
•shortness of breath
•swelling of the fingers, hands, feet, or lower legs
•trouble thinking, speaking, or walking
•troubled breathing at rest
•weight gain


I am turning here for advice or maybe someone is dealing with a similar situation. My son is 8. At 1 - 3 years old we were dealing with him not playing much with toys he'd walk or crawl down a hall way and bang his head against the wall. During pregnancy one concern was down syndrome which was negative. He has alternating esotropia in his eyes messing both eyes are good one a little strong then the other but he only uses one eye at a time. He wears bifocals. He also has the skin between his eyes is flat instead of tucking in. He is taller than normal kids but his dad is pretty tall my son is 4 '11 at last visit a few months ago. He is pretty smart in school. He still doesn't really play with toys he likes video games reading chapter books and riding his bike he doesn't make a lot of friends he is usually okay when he's on meds ( Celexa and geodone) main problem right now is when. He wants to do something and u tell him no its a huge melt down swearing Frick or people are jerks. Also if there are several people in a room and more than one person talking he starts to have a melt down. His neuro doctor says he may be having grand mull sizeures but hard to diagnose. He has head aches alot the eye doctor says it's not because of his eyes

We are not doctors and we cannot make any diagnoses.

While am no expert with these sort of things it sounds like he may be Autistic. Age three is about the right age for this to manifest itself. I'm wondering, since you did not say if you have had him diagnosed for this if he may have been misdiagnosed. I am also wondering why an eight year old is on an antidepressant drug as well as a drug used to treat schizophrenia and manic symptoms of bipolar disorder. Have you ever questions why your son is on these drugs, neither of which is an anti-seizure drug.

The only thing I can suggest is you try finding new doctors and have him reevaluated as he may have been misdiagnosed by his current doctors. I would start by finding the closest Children's Hospital and calling the patient referral line. Tell them about your son and let then refer you to staff doctors and set the initial appointments. If the hospital is too far to travel to they may be able to refer you to specialists in your area.

If you would like to write me a private message and tell me what city and state you live in I would be glad to help you find a Children's hospital. Two of the best that treat all comers are the Shriners Hospital for Children and the Children's National Medical Center in Washington DC.


I'm a 14 year old female with depression and anxiety. I'm a freshman in high school, but I'm homeschooled due to the mental illnesses. Well, I have NO friends. The only interaction I really have is with my family. I probably only go outside once or twice a week. All I really do is play video games, read, surf the internet, do my schoolwork, or other little activities. I love going outside as long as it isn't hot, but I'm just too depressed and anxious. Is there something wrong with me? I go to a therapist every week. I just feel like I'm worthless and not going anywhere since I stay in my room 23 hours of the day, on the internet for like half of that time. I just feel worthless. It's not like I'm a lazy bum who doesn't do anything with their life, I just am majorly depressed and scared to leave my house. I'm still in school and learn a lot though.

First you are or should be aware we are not doctors and cannot make a medical judgment.

As to what is normal; everyone's normal is different. For someone who is homeschooled you life would appear normal as you lack the social life that comes along with a public school education.

I would hope your illness is being managed by a psychiatrist as well as a psychologist. Talk therapy is great if you are compliant. By this I mean are you telling your therapist what you have told us. Remember your therapist is there to help you to be on your side and to be your best friend someone you can share your secrets with knowing that they go no further. You have complete confidentiality with your therapist or psychiatrist. Nothing you say gets back to your parents.

When they speak to your parents, if they do and hopefully they do. What they say to them is how to help you with suggestions as to what can be done at home. Of course these suggestions are based on the information you have shared with them but your parents are never told what you say.

If you are not seeing a psychiatrist for your depression and anxiety you need too. A Board Certified Psychiatrist is the best person trained to help with these illnesses. Anxiety is actually a bye product of depression. When you control one you also control the other.

Having suffered with depression myself I know how you feel. Depression causes pain, pain causes anxiety, anxiety cause more depression. You need to break the cycle and this is where the psychiatrist comes in. There are medications they are aware of that can help that a Family doctor is just not trained to deal with and a non-Board Certified psychiatrist may not be trained in.

My suggestion is this. If you are not seeing a psychiatrist you need to see one and it should be a Board Certified Psychiatrist. If you are seeing non-Board Certified psychiatrist and still suffering as you are you need to change doctors. You also need to be completely open with your therapist. If you're not comfortable with your therapist then it absolutely appropriate to find someone you are comfortable with.

Most important is to talk with your parents and advocate for yourself. Tell them if your are not comfortable with a doctor or therapist. Your the one in treatment and you are the one who has to be comfortable with the doctors and therapist if you are to get better.


my life wasn't necessarily better. but i was never depressed, though sometimes i got a bit sad. and i always had straight As. things changed around the time i turned 13 or 14. i don't get how it could be puberty, when i had my period at like.. 10. and school wasn't necessarily super difficult. and yet i had a horrible time in high school. i started college and had to take a break because i still couldn't overcome my past to focus on my future. i have dreams and everything i want to chase, but while in the past, i'd be that one kid who always went OVERBOARD on a school project, and was able to get myself to do it on time and everything, now the most difficult part is getting the motivation to go all the way through and not get distracted by the internet. it's not that i wasn't frequently on the internet at a young age, i was, but it was easier for me to switch that off and do the work. now it's like.. i have so much hatred for myself that i won't even let myself do the great work i'm capable of to get into my dream school or get that A+ due to the essay being given in on time, and etc. i mean.. i feel a lot of my depression happened because my social life was pretty much dead in high school, but i didn't have much more of a social life when i was younger and i was still optimistic for the future. i used to even read all the time, and now, i haven't read a book for fun in months. i have a goodreads account with hundreds of books but i feel now i dont even have the time to get into that because i have other responsibilities i'm neglecting. i mean.. i don't think it's just laziness because with other things i go beyond normal. at work, although i'm working on my tardiness, i always go extra. i'm normally one of the earliest to arrive and one of the latest to leave. and when i say i'm early and late i mean like i could come even earlier than necessary, to get extra pay, cause my hours are flexible. but once a counselor just said it was laziness and i found it offensive because that is not my situation. i can't turn in an assignment that's crap. i'm that one who takes the group project by the reigns when i feel others aren't doing enough work for our shared grade. it's ironic, because i'm actually better at committing to things like group projects and work because they involve other people, and even if they're not my friends, i don't want responsibility for failing others. with me however.. it's so difficult for me to write college application essays. excuse my grammar here, i'm actually a good, detailed writer, but i'm just letting my thoughts flow out naturally, here. i've had bad experiences with therapists so i thought maybe some peers here would be more helpful, as i don't really have friends to confide such info to, who could really help me. anyways, i feel like self-promotion is a bit vain so it's so hard to write about myself, when i have to. i just hate how inefficient as a person i've become. i used to be so strong and now like i don't even understand why i sabotage myself. if i want friends i'm not helping matters if i'm not in college. if i want my dream job i'm not helping matters if i'm not doing well at college. etc. how do i commit to doing good things in the long run, instead of maybe trying it one day and giving up the next? it's not right that i feel i'd have been a better college student at 12 than now at 19. mentally, i think that it's fine i dont have a boyfriend or anything now, it's totally not important right now, but dumb things do get to me unfortunately, as i'm human. but being human isn't just about being weak. it's also about being strong. so i should be able to not let such things get in my way or make me feel bad about myself to self-sabotage just because i have made mistakes in the past, and have some regrets. i can't change the past, so regrets are useless. and nobody's perfect, and i don't seek perfection, but i seek being the best i can be, and i know now that i'm currently not at my best.. sorry for the repetition. but yeah. i really hope you can help, i'll read any genuine help

Puberty can last well into your early twenties. As to why people may blame things on puberty; it is because the hormones released by puberty effect every one differently. At one time, not all that long ago may two generations, we thought children having trouble with puberty such as what you right about and other things. Was a phase they were going through and they would grow out of it. Most children did others did not. You may be among the others.

Doctors, and I am not a doctor, now know that this phase is not a phase but actually a medical problem they can help with. Sometimes the hormones released by puberty are not balanced causing an imbalance in the area of the two hormones that hope us cope with much of what keeps us from getting depresses. Teenagers especially females have a lot to cope with given everything that changes in their world.

In general a teenager has to deal with more responsibility both at home as more is expected of you as you are no longer consider a child. Your social life changes as does how you attend school. If you’re a girl you also have to cope with the changes your body goes through and boys with roving hands. This is a lot to deal with and add to these insufficient hormones that help you cope or an imbalance with these hormones and you get depressed.

Now since I am not a doctor I cannot make that diagnoses though it sounds like you may be from what you have written. It is easy enough to find out and it is painless. Make an appointment with your family doctor for a complete physical. The doctor will want to do one anyway once you tell the doctor you want to be screened for depression. The screening consists of questions the doctor will ask you while completing the physical. The physical itself is to rule out any organic problems for how you feel.

Once the doctor makes a diagnoses a simple pill once a day for maybe a year or two along with some talk therapy to help you understand what has happened and to put yourself back on track, may be all that is needed.

Should I be correct in my assumption underneath all the gloom you have written is that person you remember and want to get back to being? I also agree with the previous writer that you are being way too hard on yourself. It is okay to get the occasional B or B+. You need time to have a social life and to make friends. If you need advice as to how to make friends write back to me and I will give you some suggestions.

In the meantime try adopting my motto; "The only person I need to be better than tomorrow is the person I am today" In other words stop competing with other and compete only with yourself. For me I used this motto in my work and it meant that I wanted to learn something new each day to help me help my customers so I could grow my business.


by saying there's such thing as "male" or "female" behavior? You "feel" like a boy because a company, trying to make a profit, designated toys as "for boys" or "for girls"? I don't understand what's wrong with interpreting sex as gender.

And no, I'm totally against abuse against LGBT people, and also find the suicides heartbreaking, but when I see Laverne Cox, I see a man, not a woman, and I think it's ridiculous to say it's "an act of violence" for me to have that belief, supported by science.

One can get a boob job, but that doesn't make them any more of a woman, just like getting a mastectomy doesn't make one less of a woman. One can get prosthetic privates, but their DNA still reveals their true gender/sex. Sexuality is different. As of now, and possibly forever, there's no evidence of a "homosexual" or "bisexual" gene. But sex/gender is identifiable.

Trans issues have really been public this year, in 2014, and I support people's happiness, but these contradictions have just been plaguing my mind...

Kisakiss19 put it in a long form. I'll try to put it in short form.

When it comes to homosexuality and transgender the only thing we know for sure is no one wakes up one day as says I'm gay or lesbian or I'm transgender. These people are born this way. It is in their DNA. That scientists know, just not why.

Unlike transgender person; Gays and Lesbians are not unhappy with their bodies. They are just attracted to the same sex sexually. A transgender person literally cannot stand their body. Males have been known to try and cut off their penis and women their breasts.

The best science can come up with, at the moment is their is something in the wiring of the brain that makes a transgender person feel as if they are in the wrong body. Now nothing says that even if they find out what this wiring is that they can change anything. I'm not sure we should even if we could.

If someone can change their sex by getting a boob job, a hysterectomy or a prostatic. If this makes them happy, makes them feel more complete as a person who are we to judge them. Why should this bother you? The fact that medical science can even do this for them speaks volumes about why we should not be bothered by it and be happy that these people who have been tormented by whatever happened at conception, now makes them complete and happy.

The real problem with homosexuality and transgender is we as a people not just here but worldwide do not trust what we do not understand. If we tried just a bit to understand that what we don't understand there would be far less hate in this world.


I'm 19, I work full time during the week. I'm starting to do things I would have never thought of doing a year ago. About two months after my girlfriend and I broke up, I went online to find an escort, I met her and payed $140 for it. It was right after work at her hotel room. I felt so horrible afterwards, what a way to lose my virginity. Then I started going to parties at my friend's house, nothing crazy, a little drinking, making new friends etc. I meet this cute girl, we talk and text a bit for a few days. At the next party she's very seductive, then she tells me that she does services and has clients. It was so tempting so I did it, I snuck her into my house and it was $110. This time felt even worse because I kinda got to know her a little bit before. I don't know what I'm doing. Last week I drank so much I blacked out and threw up everywhere. Is it normal for guys my age to pay for sex? I feel like it's a thing that older married men do. And to know that to society I would be considered a "John" I feel superficial and shallow. There's one side of me that feels so wrong, and another side tries to justify it. I'm starting to question so many things. It's starting to feel like there really is no right and wrong, and that we're too scared to face it. It's like the only reason I think it's wrong is because I know the people around me look down upon it, and we're raised to think that way. If there were nobody around to say it's wrong, would it still be wrong. I just don't feel like the same person anymore. My family and my job would never guess that I'm doing this. What do I do man? I was going to parties to kind of avoid that ironically. I freaking run into a prostitute in person. And she was like my age. I remember like if I were in high school I would like girls and talk to them, now I have no idea if they're a prostitute or doing drugs and stuff. It makes me question what normal is. And it's like you can't win. If you're too sexual, you're a pervert, but if you're not sexual enough, you're a pussy. One person says I'm too emotional and sensitive, another person says I'm cold and have no feelings. It's really confusing and I'm starting to doubt and hate myself.

Is it normal for a teenager to pay for sex with a prostitute? It really depends on what your normal is. When I was your age we still had the draft and the Vietnam war was still going on. Outside every training base were whorehouses. We were cautioned that they were off limits but most of us made a beeline to their front doors to rid ourselves of our sexual frustration. As long as we didn't return with some STD the military looked the other way.

Now today what your doing is illegal in many states. You can be arrested for solicitation. Something that is relatively new in the annals of crime. This is not something you want on your record at your age since it is a sex crime and it can cause you to be denied certain clearances or Bonding's you might need for a job.

As far as suffering from an identity crisis this is very possible. More likely breaking up with your girlfriend has injured your self-image and pride. Making you lose some confidence in yourself. Using a prostitute for sex in a manner of speaking does allay that some. Then the guilt comes and you feel worse about yourself.

My son was very hurt by a girl he was once engaged too so I think I may know a little bit about how you feel. He suffered for a long time and still does to a certain extent from a lack of commitment when it comes to girls. He has no problem attracting them. His problem is he is looking for a custom fit in an off the rack world. He is getting better but it has taken some professional help to get there. This is what I think you need to get over the hurt you feel at the loss of this girlfriend. You must have loved her very much and the breakup has hurt you more than you know.

My suggestion is that you get some therapy with a psychologist. The psychologist is going to ask that you get a complete physical with a screening for depression as well. From what you have written and the way you write you may be suffering a mild form of depression. Nothing to be that concerned about but something the psychologist would need to know in treating you.

In therapy you can discuss with the therapist anything and everything without reservation as anything you say is confidential and never leaves the therapy session. The Therapist is in fact your new best friend who is there to help and guide you to putting whatever is bothering you behind you and helping you get to a better place with yourself. In your case restore yourself confidence and allowing you to open yourself up again to others.

If you are still on your parents health insurance ask mom or dad whichever is the primary on the insurance for the number of their EAP company. EAP stands for Employee Assistance Program. This program is designed to be a confidential program to help employees and their families get help with different problems. In fact if you live at home you don't have to be on their insurance as most programs cover anyone living in the insurance holders home.

Call them and ask them for the name of a psychologist in your area. IF you feel you will be more comfortable with a male or female say so. THE EAP program will pay for the first few visits and then if you are on a health insurance program the insurance program will take over for the rest of the visits you may need.

If you give your trust to the psychologist and work with him or her you probably won't need too many visits before you start to feel better and won't need the psychologist or the prostitutes.


I daydream a lot and I did a little research and I am not sure if it is a maladaptive daydreaming. I think it becoming a problem because I don't like pain. However, when I have a painful experience I create a scenario in my head. The scenario is even more painful but I am in control of what happens. During these daydream I get emotional because they are very painful experience but it worse than the pain I am going through. It my way to escape and process my emotion. I can cry without dealing with my actually emotionally pain.

I am not a doctor so what I am about to say is by no means a diagnoses. In fact I will say right up front that I suggest you discuss what you have written to us with your family doctor before what I am going to say could or does happen.

While what you are writing about could very well fit into the description of maladaptive daydreaming. It also comes very close to the developing of an alter personality that comes out during times of high stress or when you suffer hurt or harm to protect you.

You bring out the alter personality who is generally stronger than you are and can stand up to or withstand what ever is happening. When this happens you suffer what is felt to be a blackout period for you know nothing of what happens during this time.

You do not speak of having blackout or being unaware of what is going on which is a symptom of maladaptive daydreaming as well. Should you start to suffer periods of time where you cannot remember what happened such as leaving home but not remember how you got someplace. Then it is absolutely time to see a psychiatrist to see what is happening.

For right now I believe a discussion with your family doctor is in order as well as some sessions with a therapist to find better ways to deal with the things you find hurtful and hurting you.


So I have manic depression, paranoia, and anxeity. My parents took me to tharapy for a while, but it ended up hurting me more than helping me. They took me to evangelical Christian therapy and basically the tharapist said I am under demonic innfluennce and I have brought this on to my self because I don't believe in god. Well the tharapy sessions were total hell and the worst part is my parents belive her. I learned how to cover up my deppression, paranoia and anxeity so they think that I'm alright, but its killing me. I can't stand being depressed all the time, but I'm afraid if I let my parents know they will take me back to that horrible tharapy. Would it be a good idea to talk to my schools guidance counsilor about it? I just need some place that I can get help at with out all the BS.

At 16 years of age you are old enough to make doctors appointments and to see doctors on your own. If, and I say if only because I am not a doctor and I cannot examine and diagnose you, you do suffer from Manic depression. You need to see a psychiatrist. Only a medical doctor can treat Manic depression, the paranoia and anxiety that goes with it.

Now there are several different ways to go about getting treatment. You can go to your family doctor and ask to be screened for depression. It is a painless test that has the doctor asking you a number of questions. The doctor will also perform a complete physical which you will need anyway as the psychiatrist will want this done to rule out any physical reason for you feeling this way.

Once your family doctor has confirmed a diagnosis and completed a physical a referral to a Board Certified Psychiatrist should be given or requested. Once you have the name of a psychiatrist make an appointment.

You can also skip the above and go to any hospital emergency room and ask for help. You will not be turned away. You can also call 911 if you feel you need to see a doctor and your parents won't let you. Tell the 911 operator what is happening and how you feel. The police and fire department will be sent to you. The police will be there to protect you and to see to it that the Fire Department EMT's are allowed to talk with you and examine you. If they feel you need to see a doctor the police will see to it that your parents do not interfere with the EMT's

The last and probably the longest way to get help is by asking a trusted teacher or your school principal for help. By not allowing you to get the medical attention you need you parents are guilty of child abuse. By informing a trusted teacher or your school principal of this they are required to contact Child Protective Services.

Once CPS gets involved they could have you examined and if found in need of medical treatment they can arrange for it.

There is a place for evangelical Christian therapy. At some point if you truly are suffering from manic depression the Christian Therapist should have realized this and recommended you see a psychiatrist as well as the therapy he or she was providing.

I hope the advice I offered is helpful and if you need help fast either go to a hospital ER or call 911. You do not need parental permission for either or any of the advice I have offered you.


I have recently decided to stop using painkillers. I've been very successful and I am about to weeks clean. The only problem is I am always tired. I try to get enough sleep but even when I do I am very tired. I don't seem to be expereincing many of the withdraw effects I've read about, but the ones I do are fairly mild. Could me not being on the drug any more be related to always being tired or am I just not getting enough sleep?

Unfortunately I know what it is like to be addicted to pain killers. I suffer from a injury that causes Chronic back pain. Fortunately I am treated with Non-Narcotic pain medication. Though the downside to any medication is if you take it long enough you become addicted to it.

To stop this type of medication means to wean yourself from the medication slowly over a period of weeks, generally under a doctors supervision. Going cold turkey can be harmful and is why you can suffer from withdrawal symptoms.

To answer you question yes listlessness can be a symptom of withdrawal and one that may need to be checked out by a doctor. If you have stopped this pain medication on your own with out medical supervision, whether this drug was prescribed for you or not. I urge you to see your doctor for a check up and help with the withdrawal/recovery; especially if you did so cold turkey. You could have harmed yourself in ways you are not aware of and the withdrawal symptoms you feel you are having could be signs that medical treatment is needed.



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