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The object of my column will be to help you help yourself by pointing you in the right direction if I can or by supplying you with WEB resources you can use that will help you find the answers your looking for.

advice

I'm a 14 year old girl, I haven't been diagnosed with depression but it's kinda obvious....
Before Christmas 2013 I started cutting because I was upset about my life at home, my dad was a control freak and wouldn't let me go anywhere or even be with one of my best friends just because she said something he didn't like a while ago. I got so frustrated and sad that I didn't know wheat else to do, after about 2months my parents found out.. They did try to help me by asking what I wanted to change but I know it really hurt them that they knew what I was doing to myself and that I was so upset. I stopped for about a month and then it got worse, all because I fell in love with this boy and we didn't work out the way I wanted it to.. Still today I'm always feeling sad and even if I do manage to be happy it doesn't last long! I always find myself listening to depressi music such a 'London grammar' or 'bring me the horizon' I just like that sort of stuff and I go on my iPad every night on we heart it and that really doesn't help but I like reading that stuff...
I wouldn't say I'm suicidal, I don't think I could bring myself to do it but if there were to be a car coming and I was stood in the road I'm not to sure if I would move?
I don't want to feel like this anymore, I don't want to be in love with that boy anymore as he flirts with everyone and he hurt me emotionally.
I want to be happy again, I wouldn't mind going to see someone for help but without my parents knowing! I don't want them to know that I'm still like this, they didn't help me last time and I'm too scared to ask for help this time.
Thanks.

Once upon a time, don't you just hate it when people start a response like that, back in the dark ages of your parents and grandparents teenage years did not see what you are going through as depression. It was seen as a phase that many young people went through and would grow out of. It was seen as a response to the hormones of puberty.

At the time they were partly correct. Today medical science knows better, teenagers do get depressed partly because of the bodies reaction to the hormones of puberty and partly to environmental factors. Now that doctors recognize this there are ways for them to help teenagers effect in this manner and they have even given this illness a name. The diagnoses is called teenage Depression, a form of clinical depression brought on by what another advisor called the happy hormones.

You really need to be properly diagnosed which is something your family doctor can do. Diagnosing is simple and painless as the doctor will ask you a number of questions by which he or she will make a diagnoses. The doctor will also want to do a complete physical to rule out any organic reason for why you feel as you do. The doctor will then either prescribe medication or refer you to another doctor.

So the first thing to do is to ask to see your family doctor. Ask the doctor to screen you for depression. When the doctor asks why tell him or her what you wrote us. You are by law old enough to make your own doctors appointments for certain types of exams and a complete physical is one of them. Since you live at home a controlling family may make this hard to do.

IF you cannot or are not allowed to see a doctor then what I suggest is you speak with a trusted teach, your principal or another adult you trust. Your teacher or principal after hearing what you have written and showing them the scars of your cutting are required to step in and help by contacting the right agencies to see to your safety.

Cutting is possibly the worst thing one can do to themselves. Cut in the wrong place or cut too deep and you can bleed out before help can arrive. So please try not to cut and talk to a teacher or your principal at school if you cannot get to see your doctor for help.

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I've always known something was wrong with me. I had issues with self harm for a long time. I still have suicidial thoughts. I feel the need to drink and smoke when feeling down. My newest being a need to "binge eat". But I tried to stop all that, and change. It all made me hate myself more than I already do but I snapped a bit today. Just ate a take out carton full of fries, grilled cheese, two sloppy joes. a carton full of sweet potato fries and some funyuns. all within twenty minutes then popped a laxative. never ate a laxative after binging before... but I just grabbed the pack I had in my room (because I heard it was a quick weight loss technique)and did it. who knows why?

Anyway I know to get the help I need I'd have to go through my dad and I can't talk to my family. And I really mean I can't. I'm already the black sheep...and it's funny because I give advice on here and try to be there for people and i'm starting to wonder if maybe all the times I said it was going to be okay was me subconsciously trying to make myself believe that...

I know it doesn't seem like there is a question in here...i guess i kinda just needed to vent. I have no one to talk to.

What I'm hearing is that you're on your dad's insurance. This does not mean you need to go through your dad. You're an adult and your father no longer has any control or say over you medical issues. Yes his insurance may be paying the bills but your medical is confidential and only you can say who has access to your medical files. I could be paying for your medical visits and treatments it would not give me the right to see your medical file without your permission.

You should have your own copy of your dads insurance cards. IF you don't and you know who the insurance company is call them or go on line and request a copy of the insurance and prescription cards be sent to you. You are entitled to them as long as you are insured under their policy.

Given what your problem I'm going suggest you call the human resource department of the company where your dad works. Most all companies that have an insurance program have an EAP which stands for, Employee Assistance Program. This is a confidential program that assists employees and anyone who lives in their home, regardless if they are under the insurance, with a wide variety of problems employees may face away from work. Ask the Human Resource person you speak to for the number of the EAP contact.

Once you have that number call them and ask for assistance in finding a psychologist to help you with an eating disorder and possible depression. They will give you a name or list of names to call. Call and set up and appointment to speak with the psychologist. Most EAP programs will pay for a specific number of visits in full then your insurance will cover whatever is allowed for in the coverage.

Also you are going to need to have a full physical by your PCP. The psychologist is going to ask you to have one. This is to rule out any organic reason for your problem. Tell your PCP who your psychologist is and to share the results of the physical with the psychologist. Also ask to be screened for depression.

Most important for you to remember is that you are an adult and dad no longer has the rights he had when you were a minor. He may have the same rules most parents have when it comes to living under his roof. Which may be; "If you live under my roof you live by my rules." That is all well and good but it does not give him the right to violate your legal rights which in this case is protected by federal law. Only you can designate who can see your medical records. If you don't want him seeing your medical records or having knowledge of why you’re seeing the doctors you are seeing, then he has to live with it.

Next time you are with any of your doctors update your HIPPA forms to those people you want to be allowed access and or knowledge of your medical well-being.

Note: They can also give you the information you need to get the insurance cards you need.

I also visit this site daily so if you need to vent or need more help send me a private message. Don't be ashamed everyone needs help at some time and you have taken the biggest step by asking for help. Just remember your an adult and dad has no say. You do not need to tell me who you are and you should not if you send me any private messages.

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I have been crossdressing for a number of years now. Two years ago I started going out dressed female for the sole purpose of finding a guy that I could give oral sex to. This was and still is something that turns me on so much. Since that first time out I have given 6 guys oral sex. Four of these six guys were just a one time thing and the other two I did it for them multiple times. It dawned on me one day that while I love giving the guys oral sex while I was dressed female that there would be no way I could do that dressed as a guy. I have no idea why this is but a girl I know thinks that I may unknowingly want to be a female full time and that I should try to find a steady guy in my life and transition to a full time female.

I don't know enough about the subject to give you any really good advice. What I think is you know what you want but are unsure because of the labels that might be affixed.

The little I know about the subject says you do not have to dress as a women to be gay. But to be transgender you would be more comfortable in the clothing of the opposite sex. Being transgendered does not mean your gay. It means you feel like you're of one sex trapped in the body of the opposite sex.

That's about all I know on this subject. Do you have to put a label on yourself. Only if it makes you feel better; I don't see any real reason other than that for labels.

I am going to suggest that since you seem a bit confused that you seek out a psychologist who is current in this subject. Possibly one that works with those who seek gender reassignment. You could also seek the help of a sexologist which is a psychologist who practices in sexual problems. Either one should be able to help you understand your sexuality.

For what it is worth I think your are transgender. In the end though whatever label you decide to put on yourself that is who you are and you should enjoy your sexuality and who you are. For this is the way your were born not something you woke up one day and decided to be. You're not ill or weird, strange or anything else. You are you and you should enjoy being you.

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I have been depressed and have had sucidal thoughts and have self harmed for a while now. I really feel like I need to tell one of my friend but I don't know how please help!

Telling a friend is a good idea to help you get back from the edge at the moment. What you really need is professional help to find out why you feel this way. I have been where you are and I know that you are reading what I am writing and saying I'm wrong that you can get through this yourself. That is the depression talking.

What you need to do is pick up a phone and dial 911. Tell the call taker just what you have told us. Help will be sent to you. Your age is not a factor in calling 911. If you are a young teen you do not need permission to call 911. Calling 911 is the same as going to a police officer if you’re lost or scared. You don't need permission for that. IF for some reason you are afraid to tell your parents then this is definitely a reason to call 911.

What will happen is the call taker will most likely stay on the line and talk with you until help arrives. Most likely that help will be the closest police officer and firefighters from the nearest fire station followed by paramedics. They all have one interest your wellbeing.

The purpose of the police officer is to see to it that the fire fighters and paramedics are allowed to check on you should your parents not want them to see you. After talking with you if the paramedics feel you need to be seen by a doctor they will take you to the hospital to see one. So be honest with them and answer all their questions.

Parents sometimes think children that are acting depressed are being melodramatic over something that may have happened. They can be very wrong.

If you are an adult like myself and you are feeling depressed then there are other reasons for this to be happening. Only a doctor can help you to overcome these feeling. Self-harm does not help feeling depressed and it can be very dangerous so please call 911 now.

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School, piles upon piles of homework, practice my instrument, practice for play, try on shoes to see if they fit, make my bed, clean my room, brush my teeth. Once it seems like I'm FINALLY free, for some me time,I gotta write some discussion questions for book club that my teacher FORCED everybody to do. Then comes stupid extra math that my teacher claims I gotta do because she has to “enrich my advanced mind" I'm not a genius, but apparently I have superior intelligence. I somehow end up with the “good parts" in stuff like plays. Most people think I'm lucky, but it seems like with all my work I can never just sit down. Being more than average isn't all what it's cracked up to be, you just gotta do extra work, and when you're good at stuff like music and theatre, you get good parts. But when you get good parts and things like that, you have to work and practice and push yourself. I love acting, and dancing, and singing, and art and music, and even reading, science, social studies, but I just wish I could lay down and not think about anything sometime. And I hate math, but because I'm starting to be good at it,I have to do more than required. There is no way out of it for me because if I quit, you know,I don't like to quit. I wanna live up to everyone's expectations, but sometimes I feel like everyone's expectations are too much. A perfect,pretty,talented,smart,amazing,remarkable… where does it end?

You have asked a very good question. One that takes the wisdom of age that a grandparent may have. Since I am of that age I will try to help.

As I read your question I asked myself one question. "Who are you doing all this for?" Your next to last sentence answered my question. "I feel like everyone's expectations are too much."

As parents we sometimes ask and expect a lot of our children for various reasons. Some of those are for the right reasons and some are not. The reasons that are not right are for self-serving reasons such as bragging rights so we can sit in church or the country club and brag about how smart or talented or child(ren) are. This is wrong if we are pushing you to do things they really don't want to do though they are done to please our parents.

Of all the things you listed academic school work falls into a category of things you must do. The other things you do such as acting and playing an instrument are electives. Of those other things that take up your time how many of them are actually things you want to do? Loving something and wanting something are two different things.

Let�s just say you want them all. Fact is as much as we may want everything that is not always possible as you are finding out. Let�s try something. Sit down and make a list of all those things you do that are not school work, hygiene or house work as those are must do things.

Once you have your list of those things you like to do and want to do. Number then in the order of importance to you 1, 2, 3 and so forth. Now sit down and make up a daily schedule for yourself. You can probably find one in a calendar program on the computer. Block out the time from the time you get up in the morning to the time you return home from school plus the time for must do things at home.

Your available time for these extra-curricular activities is the time remaining until you go to bed at night. Make sure to block out time on Saturday and Sunday for must do things as well which would also include must do family things such as Church. Don't forget to block out time for homework.

With the time left fill in the open hours with those things you like to do giving yourself time to do them and enjoy them, including free time. What you�re doing here is called time management. By managing your time properly you can see what time you have available to those things that must be done and those things you enjoy doing.

Learning how to manage time rather than have time manage you is an invaluable tool to have. You will have learned a very important skill. One that will work well for you in every aspect of your life as you get older. Time management is the hardest part of our life to learn. Once learned it pay many dividends in life.

Making the list as I am suggesting and then numbering those activities in order of importance to you. Then learning to manage time so that you have the time to enjoy what is important to you. You will not only please yourself but those who have high expectations of you as well.

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Hi, I feel as though I am in a rutt. I have gained 25 lbs over the year, stopped walking, took a new job being more sedentry. Im always hungry and always eating. I eat big meals. I am so unhappy in my relationship with this man who is a drinker and doesn't want to better himself. Iused to be so active in the past. Gym every mornig at 530 am. Active durring the day. I dont know where to start. I want to suppress my appetite and dont know what to take to help this? Does anyone have any ideas?

You start by getting out of the unhappy relationship. This is what is causing you to be somewhat depressed and you compensate by overeating. You're using food for comfort, which is not good. You've gained weight which is making you lazy without any extra problems such as being depressed.

These are some of the classic sign of clinical depression. Now do you need therapy to overcome this depressive episode you may be suffering? Considering you have been this way for over a year you may need the help of a clinical psychologist. Then again you may be able to pull out of this by yourself.

IF the unhappy relationship is the primary cause of how you feel then ending that relationship should help you feel better. Once you get over the shock of ending the relationship, have yourself a quick pity party. Force yourself to get back in your old routine and to diet to lose those 255 pounds. Get up and go to the gym at 5:30 in the morning. Get back into the activities you use to be in.

You should also see your doctor. Why? First: It is important to have a complete physical before starting to exercise and diet. Second: Ask the doctor to screen you for depression while you are there. This will allow the doctor to judge if you are depressed and just how deeply depressed you may be. Based on that judgment the doctor may make a suggestion on therapy. Third: To rule out and physical reason for your weight gain and the way you feel.

I know ending your relationship is probably the last thing you want to hear. Put yourself in my shoes for a minute and ask yourself this question. Why would anyone want to stay in an unhappy relationship? If you were in a marriage that was unhappy I would not suggest the first thing you do is leave the marriage. But you are not married so why stay?

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please someone tell me the easiest painless way to die.. i hate pain but i need to do this.

That is not what we do here. Why don't you tell me why you want to die and maybe I can help you live. You see that is what we do here, we help people with problems.

Myself, I am among the older set of advisors being in the grandfatherly age. In all my years, and I have seen the worst of the worst as a firefighter. There is nothing that can't be resolved. The biggest problem with any problem is being too close to it to see the solution as we get caught up in the problem itself.

Those of us here at advicenators bring a fresh perspective to any problem you might have. As I said many of us may be older and therefore may see a resolution you might not be aware of.

I have not seen a problem so large, so unyielding that the only solution is killing oneself. Why not tell me why you feel this is the only solution to your problem. I can assure there is a better solution than killing dyeing.



Read more: http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=617318#ixzz2vqaMKikH

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I've been deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan a couple of times. And sence about 2007 or so I've had a lot of issues with people and life in general. I can't sleep, I go days up to a week at a time without sleep. I've been seen by docs a lot for issues. I've been on more medications then I can remember. Nothing seems to really help. I've set in councilors for hours. I feel like it's just really to annoying to go back to the docs. I can't stand being around people, and anytime someone says something to me all I want to do is stab them. This makes work difficult. If I close my eyes and try to sleep I wake up in about an hour and feel like I'm back on patrol or on fire, or that I'm about to die any second again. So then I can't go back to sleep. I've seen a lot of lives end in seconds, and have almost lost my own on a couple times. I wonder why I'm here everyday. It's just getting to be to much to deal with and I don't know what to do anymore. All I wanted to do the every time I deployed was hurry back home, but I noticed each time I went the less I wanted to come back. And I really don't want to be here right now either. Is this ever going to fix itself or am I just slowly getting crazier?

It sounds like you are suffering from PTSD. PTSD is relatively new to the field of Mental Health and is not as once was thought to be just another form of battle fatigue. Since it is new there are not a lot of doctors and psychologists
Who are truly qualified to work with sufferers of this illness. That doesn't mean there is no hope.

Several years ago the government asked a company called Magellan Health Services, who are the largest provider to mental health services in the country. They were asked to identify and credential those health care providers who are truly trained to care for people suffering from PTSD; especially veterans such as yourself.

What you need to do is call directory assistance to see if there is a local office in your state that you can contact for help in contacting a provider who is trained in caring for those suffering from PTSD. If there is no local office than follow this link to their website.

I was unable to find a toll free number for them but the following phone number is to their headquarters in St Louis if you need it. (314) 266-0437

From one veteran to another, Hang in their buddy. Give these people a call I am confident they can help you.

http://magellanhealth.com/home.aspx

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I've been diagnosed I agree w/diagnosis but...... Recommended meds just aren't helping. Some do but most just give me all the worst side effects! I'm def bipolar (more on the depressive side) but struggling &growing desperate

This information helps a bit. Other information I wish you would have supplies would be: How long has it been since you were diagnosed? How long have you been on your current medication? What have you discussed with your doctor concerning your medications and their effectiveness & side effects?

The reasons for these questions are that psychotropic drugs take time to work. They are not like antibiotic drugs that start working immediately and you start feeling better in a day or two. Psychotropic drugs take time to build up in your system. Some drugs potency have to be built up over the course of several weeks before they reach an effective level. While others have to be increased over the course of several weeks to reach proper potency.

As I said in my first answer to you; each of these drugs have side effects. Every individual will react differently to them. Some side effects are short term, meaning they will subside as your body grows accustomed to them.

Not having the other information I asked about the best answer I can give you is this. Go back to your psychiatrist now. Explain how you are feeling and how you feel about the drugs not working. Take someone with you who you will allow to listen to the doctor as he or she explains to you about the different medications you may be on.

You have the right to know have any and all information concerning your treatment. You are your best advocate to obtain this information. With some doctors you have to ask for this information as they don't volunteer it.

My suggestion to have someone with you such as mom or dad, a sister or brother or someone else you trust is simple. You're bipolar, depending if you are more manic or more euphoric will decide how you perceive what the doctor tells you. Don't get upset with what I just wrote, it is the devil of the beast of this type of illness. You will need someone to repeat what the doctor tells you later on and in the days that follow.

For instance the doctor might say that he or she may want to give this medicine more time and why. The doctor might also say that he or she does see some changes and that the medicine is working it just needs more time. This is why a friend or family member has to hear what the doctor said because depression alters how we perceive things. I know because I too have suffered from depression, the clinical type.

What is important are the side effect and how they are effecting you. Here again your illness may hamper what you tell your doctor so write them down and be detailed. Give this information to whoever accompanies you to the doctor so he or she can make sure you cover them all.

IF after you have seen you current doctor and he or she refuses to change your meds. Talk with the person who went with you to see the doctor. If he or she agrees that the doctor is not doing enough for you. Then you can and should seek a second opinion from a different psychiatrist. Your insurance company is obligated to pay for second opinions. Medicine is not an exact science, another doctor may have a different treatment plan that may work better for you.

What is most important with this type of illness is you be trusting and comfortable with those who are treating you. If you are not comfortable with your doctor or therapist recovery is made hampered.

While your sessions with your doctor and therapist are confidential. You can wave confidentiality at any time if you feel there is something you want a third party to hear, such as I have recommended concerning the medications.

Please; you have to advocate for yourself so don't be afraid to ask questions of your doctor or therapist. You can also appoint someone as your advocate who will allow your doctors and therapists to speak with them concerning your treatment.

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There's a weird school system where I live and we're writing our finals now. I used to be a good student- straight As and everything. But I've been dealing with depression for the past 4 years. I've somehow maintained fairly good grades so far anyhow.. but now my depression seems to have gotten worse and I can't bring myself to care for anything. I am sitting at the exam table and I don't care about writing the exam! I try to force myself to focus and give it my best shot but I can't bring myself to try to finish it. I just don't feel like eating, or talking or doing anything anymore and it's making it so difficult to study. And I am tired and exhausted all the time, and even if I try very hard, something just doesn't let me give my best. I know I can do better than this, and if it continues this way, I think I'm going to fail my finals. Even that doesn't bother me (I really can't care about anything anymore), but my parents have spent a lot of money on my education and it just wouldn't be right. Also, everyone is expecting me to do really well because I'm supposed to be a good student but I just don't have any drive anymore. But I'm really trying because I feel like it wouldn't be right to just give up. Also, I'm not in a position to get help for my depression at the moment, nor can I tell my teachers and parents about this. I'm really lost, I don't know what to do now.
If you've read all this, thank you so much! (: Please feel free to give me any advice that you think would help.

I am not a doctor so I cannot make a diagnosis of any kind. What I will tell you is that what you have written has hit half of the points in the questions the doctors would ask that would lead them to make the diagnoses of clinical depression.

Clinical depression is more of a hormonal problem than a mental illness. It is generally caused by the lack of one or two hormones that control mood. In many cases the person suffering from clinical depression is under so much stress the body cannot produce enough of these chemicals to deal with the stress. From what you have written this sounds more like you.

If you had a sore throat and need antibiotics, would you go to mom or dad to be taken to the doctor? Yes you would; well this is the same thing. You may be suffering from what is now called teenage depression, which is caused by all the stress placed upon teenagers. Back in ancient times of your grandparents this was looked at as a phase children went through and would pass. For the most part it did. Today doctors know better and they can help you. You do not need suffer. The treatment and the medication are covered under medical insurance.

You don't say why you cannot go to your parents with this or a teacher. This is exactly what parents and teachers are there for to see to it you are safe, healthy and happy. As a parent I can tell you our main responsibility in life is to our children. We brought you into this world and in legal terms until you are 18 we are legally responsible for your safety, health and well-being. For most parents this goes far beyond the legal.

There is nothing so horrible or embarrassing that you cannot go to any adult, your parents or teachers to get help from. In this instance you are sick just as if you had the flu or something else. Tell a teacher you need help, go to your parents for help. You can feel much better really soon if you do.

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Anyone diagnosed or suffering with mental illness and simultaneously having problems with self medicating?

Mental problems can be serious and be diagnosed by a Board Certified Psychiatrist and medication supplied and monitored by that doctor. This is not the type of illness that one can self-medicate for.

First: The psychotropic drugs required to control the many mental illnesses are not available over the counter. There is a large number of drugs doctors use to control these problems either separately or in conjunction with other medications.

Second: Each medication interacts differently with other medications and some should not be taken together. All of these medications have side effects. Each of us will react differently to these medications and a skilled psychiatrist is needed to put together the right combination of medications not only to control the disorder but to minimize any side-effects you may encounter.

What is important is that be properly diagnosed and medicated. That you take your medication properly and on time each day. Psychotropic drugs are not like antibiotics which get into your blood stream and start attacking the problem. They need time to build up in your system, and then they need to be maintained at a certain level in order to do their job. This is why once the doctor has you on a proper drug regiment you need to take the medication on time every day as instructed by the doctor; even though you are feeling better. For if you stop taking the medication the value of the medication in you demises’ and you relapse.

My advice is to see a Board Certified Psychiatrist and be properly diagnosed to be sure you have a mental illness. Then allow the doctor to regulate you on a medication regiment. Once regimented stay on your medications; continue to see you doctor on whatever schedule of appointments the doctor sets as therapy plus medication is required for a cure.

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What meds seem to be most effective for those with bipolar?

Bipolar disorder is a serious mental problem. One that requires a diagnosis by a Board Certified Psychiatrist and medication supplied and monitored by that doctor. This is not the type of illness that one can self-medicate for.

First: The psychotropic drugs required to control the bipolar disorder are not available over the counter. There is a large number of drugs doctors use to control this problem either separately or in conjunction with other medications.

Second: Each medication interacts differently with other medications and some should not be taken together. All of these medications have side effects. Each of us will react differently to these medications and a skilled psychiatrist is needed to put together the right combination of medications not only to control you bipolar disorder but to minimize any side effects you may encounter.

What is important is that you take your medication. Psychotropic drugs are not like antibiotics which get into your blood stream and start attacking the problem. They need time to build up in your system, and then they need to be maintained at a certain level in order to do their job. This is why once the doctor has you on a proper drug regiment you need to take the medication on time every day as instructed by the doctor; even though you are feeling better. For if you stop taking the medication the value of the medication in you demises’ and you relapse.

My advice is to see a Board Certified Psychiatrist and be properly diagnosed to be sure you are bipolar. By the way bipolar disorder is also known as Manic Depressive disorder. Then allow the doctor to regulate you on a medication regiment. Once regimented stay on your medications; continue to see you doctor on whatever schedule of appointments the doctor sets as therapy plus medication is required for a cure.

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I have this talking problem I talk way too fast and my words stuble over each other how can I stop this?

This could be a speech problem or you just get so excited about what you want to say you talk to fast. You can try slowing down how you talk with others by pausing and taking a deep before you start to speak. Doing so will help calm you down and should help slow down a bit.

If this does not work and you are still in high school; Go to the guidance office and ask to speak to the speech therapist. You can also ask one of your teachers for a referral to the speech therapist. If you are in college you can also go to your course advisor and ask for the help of a speech therapist as well as the student medical center.

If none of the above go see your family doctor. Your family doctor can refer you to a speech therapist.

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i've suffered anxiety like this for a while, but it's been gone for a year and i think it may be coming back.. or i actually have a health problem. usually, (with my anxiety), when i feel an ache or pain i google it and psyche myself out. i am a hypochondriac, (or at least i used to be), and idk if i'm forming it again. I've been feeling great pressure in my chest (i'm 18 years old so i have no idea if a heart condition should be a concern), and i keep belching. the belching relieves the pressure for a minute and then it all comes back. i can feel the air or "pressure" release for a few seconds when i belch. yesterday, i made myself vomit because i was nauseous. does that have to do with this? i read a lot about this belching sensation with pressure having to do with acid reflex but i'm unsure. i am scared that this is something serious and i'm just "assuming" it is anxiety. but on the other hand, if it was thattt serious wouldn't i not have the energy to worry or go on advicenators? help me!

Wow, if you are going to Google every ache and pain you’re going to drive yourself nuts and make yourself sick. If you are not already a hypochondriac you will be. We are not doctors we cannot tell you what these aches and pains are only a doctor can do that for you. I will tell you this though if you run to your doctor for every ache and pain the doctor will label you a hypochondriac and treat you as such; this is bad for you.

Chest pains can be a symptom of a heart condition. Most of the time they are just what they appear to be; muscular chest pain. If belching stops the pain then you most probably have a gas problem that gets under your chest and causes the pain. This is not generally related to a heart condition though it might be a symptom. The anxiety you suffer causes chest pain.

Medicine is still just a science and not an exact science at that. Between your hypochondria and anxiety I would guess your symptoms are more psychosomatic than actual symptoms. The only one who can tell you for certain is your doctor.

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I have cut for a long time. I had a two week clean and then after my boyfriend broke up with me over wanting to relapse ( we dated two months not long but still)he is saying tht he contributes to my depression. He also cuts and had been clean for three weeks, or so he says. If I can't keep someone as messed up as him why bother? This was out if the blue, everything was going fabulous and then one day I was asking for help because he stopped and I thought he cared, and he started saying how he's sick of this. And now he hates me.he won't talk to me. Out of desperation and depression yesterday I broke my clean in an extreme way, and nearly bled out I nearly passed out and it left these awful gaps in my skin that break open. They were horribly deep, but hey it gives me something else to focus on..? Is that a reason to break up with someone? Should I go back to therapy and shoul a get a new doctor for this? Why am i so worthless?

I want to focus on this one cut first. The fact that you had trouble controlling the bleeding; That the cut will not stay closed tells me the cut itself needs professional help to be properly closed. You do not want to accidently bleed out in your sleep if the cut should open.

This is the type of cut you can and should call 911 for. They will properly bandage the cut and transport you to the emergency room for treatment. If you are in school go to the health room and let them bandage the cut and they will call 911 to transport you to the hospital ER.

Yes you do need to get back into therapy. Cutting is dangerous as you have found out. It is also a sign of something more bothersome to you. I can't say for certain you are suffering from say clinical depression though you are despondent about something. Only a psychiatrist can say whether or not you are suffering from some form of depression.

This does not mean you are mentally ill. Not all forms of depression are a mental illness. In fact given your age you may be suffering what is now called teenage depression. When your parents and grandparents and their parents before them suffered from this it was called a phase that all teenagers went through and would grow out of. Most of them did because what is causing the problem is mostly physical. It is called puberty and either a problem in adjusting to the new hormones or an imbalance of these hormones. Both of which the doctor can correct with a pill.

The reason for seeing a psychiatrist and not your family doctor is simple. The hormones excrete into the brain which the psychiatrist is best trained to deal with. Once the doctor deals with the physical problem a psychologist helps you deal with the stress the hormonal problems created which is the most likely root cause of the depression. Find the dominant depressor and deal with that any you will feel better.

As for therapy; you need to be comfortable with the psychologist. He or she must be your new best friend. Someone you are willing to share your deepest secrets with. Don't worry anything said in therapy gets back to mom and dad. Your therapist is there to help you but you have to be willing to work with the therapist and that means trusting him or her. So yes you may want to find a new therapist and you may want a female therapist if you feel you will be more comfortable with one. so open your mouth and say so. It is your right to ask for someone you are comfortable with.

This is what you need to now in this order:

1. Get the cut properly treated. If in school go to the health room NOW. IF not in school call 911.

2. See a psychiatrist for proper diagnosis. This could be done at the hospital in the ER.

3. Find a therapist you are comfortable with and work with him and her. Trust that nothing gets back to mom or dad that is said in therapy.

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I have been seeing a Psychiatrist for about 3.5 years now for Anxiety and panic attacks.

I have mentioned ADHD to him and he put me on medication which worked out alright.

However, he thinks I may now have Bi polar which I disagree with. I think I have ADHD.


Can I go see a new psychiatrists even though I am under treatment with him for anxiety meds and Bi Polar?

I have not taken the Bi Polar meds because fear of side effects especially weight gain. I also do not believe that I am bi polar.

What can I do?

You have every right to get a second opinion. So the answer to your question is yes you can see another psychiatrist if you want to.

Until you do and based on the second opinion that doctor renders; I would suggest you take the medication as prescribed. Bipolar disorder is not something to play with. Those afflicted with it will feel perfectly well when not manic. This is the big problem with this disorder. When people with this disorder are manic they do not realize it and of course they are not on their medication which is why they went manic.

When someone with bipolar disease swings to the manic stage they can do things they would never do when they are not in the manic stage. Some of these things would include those so unlawful they end up in jail or they could bankrupt themselves or anything in between.

Now nothing says that you will go manic and end up in jail, but it can happen. I understand how the meds will make you feel as a good friend of my wife's and I is bipolar. She appointed my wife her financial guardian. During one manic period she went on a buying spree, she was of her meds and we didn't know it. We returned nearly $25,000 worth of Jeweler and clothing bought from different shopping clubs. When we got her back on her meds and showed her what she had bought she had no idea. She had maxed out two credit cards.

By all means get a second opinion and that opinion should come from a Board Certified Psychiatrist. A Board Certified Psychiatrist is an MD who has received a fellowship in psychiatry and past certain test to be Board Certified. Not all psychiatrists are Board Certified. But please take your medication until you receive the second opinion and know for sure if you are or are not suffering from bipolar disorder.

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I constantly think, day dream, fantasy, have urges, & desires to kill people. One day I was so overwhelmed by my urge that I couldn't ignore it anymore. So i drowned my pet & I didn't feel guilt or remorse. All I felt was happiness & satisfaction. So ever since I did that my urges to kill have become to much to handle & it's becoming more difficult to ignore my urges. I don't know what to do? My mom says I am doing it for attention but I am doing it because I desire to kill things. She won't let me get help & she won't let me tell anybody so I can get help. So does anybody have ideas on how I can get help without my mom knowing?

Thank you for writing to us for help you have done the right thing.

You have two choices as to how to get help. The first and fastest way is to pick up a phone and dial 911. You do not need parental permission to call 911. Tell the call taker what you have told us. The call taker will probably stay on the phone with you while help is sent to you.

Help will be in the form of a Police Officer and the Fire Department along with an ambulance. The Police Officer is there to see to it that you get the help you need. That neither mom nor dad turn the firefighters or paramedics away who are there to care for you and take you to a hospital emergency room where you will be seen by a doctor.

Once at the hospital you can expect to be kept in the hospital for a bit while the doctors talk to you and come up with a proper treatment plan.

The second way is for you to go to any hospital emergency room yourself. At 14 that you are old enough to go to the hospital without parental permission for this problem. Tell the admitting clerk and nurse what you have written to us. They will admit you to the hospital and have you seen by the appropriate doctor.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You did something you should not have done and you realize it. You are doing the right thing by seeking help even though you mom is not willing to help you.

Don't be too hard on mom either. As a parent I can tell you that no parent is prepared to hear from their children what you told her. While most parents might feel as she does, most parents would also take their child to the appropriate doctor for an examination. Without knowing the why behind your mothers’ decision not to seek a doctor’s examination I cannot say she is right or wrong.

I will say you are doing what you feel you need to do by seeking the proper help before you hurt someone. That is a decision I will support you in as best I can from where I am.

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I just cry over nothing a lot. I wake up at like 5 in the morning sometimes, cant sleep till 11 at night and I usually only get 6 hours of sleep but sometimes I sleep a lot and have naps during the day and feel really tired. I cry over petty little things and most times nothing at all! My eating has dropped and I only eat half of what I used to eat.

I cry and get upset over the smallest of things. And I don't want to either. I try to stop myself but I immediately get the tightness in my throat. My eyes get very watery and I would like to add that TONS of tears come out and I try to stop crying but I cant and I try to breathe in and out but I only cry more and I don't know what to do!

Even thinking about it makes my throat tighten and im scared because I don't know if it is a mental problem or something.
When im angry I cry, when im sad I cry, when I feel guilty I cry, when I hurt someone I cry, I just feel pathetic!

I've always thought I was one of those people that just brushes off what people say to you because no one has really bullied me but I realise when someone just call me something small I'll cry over it and I feel like a baby but I cant help it. is it stress? I don't know. :c

It would help to know your age for I think you are suffering teenage depression. You talk about two symptoms of teenage depression. If I am correct, and I am not a doctor so I cannot make a diagnosis, this is not really a mental illness as you are thinking. This is more of a hormonal problem stemming from puberty.

When your parent, grandparents and generations before them felt as you do know. Parents and doctors called this a phase children go through that they will grow out of. Most children did. Doctors no know this is not a phase but a real problem for which they can help you while your body adjusts the levels of hormones it needs to sustain a proper balance.

My suggestion is you ask to see the family doctor. Tell the doctor you're not eating, that you're having trouble sleeping and that you cry over everything. You can also tell the doctor that someone suggested you be screened for teenage depression. The screening is painless as it involves a series of question the answers you give will =allow the doctor to make a proper diagnoses. So be honest with the doctor in answering the questions.

If you are 14 years of age or over you can ask to the doctor without mom being in the exam room with you. Just say you wish to invoke your rights under HIPPA and the doctor will understand. HIPPA is a Federal Law that allows you certain medical confidentiality, mostly in regards to your reproductive system.

Since the doctor will most likely also want to do a complete physical to rule out any organic reason for how you feel. The HIPPA Law would apply to this visit with the doctor and you could meet with your doctor without mom or dad being with you in the exam room.

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I'm a very sensitive person… sometimes I feel like I'm acting overly sensitive… whenever something sad happens in a book, movie,TV show, graphic novel,etc. I start to cry big crocodile tears. For example, when my mom tells me storys about abused children, and shows pictures of dead baby's body dumped in garbage cans,I cry for 2 hours. Whenever I watch those commercials about starving children and abused animals I start crying. When I watched a video with children seeing their dad's come back from the military and run to them so happy,I start crying. As I'm writing this I'm crying. It can be stuff like that, or dumb stuff like in the lion king, when Mufasa died and Simba was upset,I started crying. In the hunger games when Ru got shot I started crying. When I read in a book a kid started to die because he saved his friends from zombies I started to cry. When I hear about how slaves are treated I cry. When I heard a story about a girl and boy in India who got raped and beat up, then were slowly dying on the streets but no one would help them I cried. I recognize and depressed over things that others don't even notice, like the Yanomami tribe, when I read about them,I cried a bit. But when I told my friends, they just said that was sad. Am I too sensitive??????

There is nothing wrong with you. From what you have written it says you are a very warm and loving person. People would say you are the type of person who wears their heart on their sleeve. Someone who is as caring about others as you are would do well in a profession where you care for others. Problem is you might care too much and get hurt by it as well.

While there is nothing wrong with being a loving caring individual you must constantly be aware that there are people out there who will look to take advantage of your caring. What I mean by this is; as you get older you will find people coming to you and asking for your help. Some of these people will literally ask for the shirt off your back and give you a great sob story as to why they need it. Being overly caring you may likely give that shirt to them placing yourself in the position they told you they were in.

You need to learn to temper the feelings you have with the understanding that there is a lot of hurt in the world. That many of the things that trigger you tears are just fiction meant for entertainment. You have to understand that even though you cannot fix everyone's hurt you should keep on caring for the more you care the more people will learn to care and the world will become a better place.

This is one reason why I answer questions on this site, because I do care and I try to help to the extent I can.

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Whenever I experience negative emotions, they surface in the form of anger and I feel like the only way to be able to release these feelings is to scream and punch things. Other people release their negative feelings by simply crying. I can't cry until I scream and shout first, and even then it often doesn't come out. Crying feels good to me because it's the negative feelings without the edge. So it's not as bad as feeling rage. Thankfully I don't take my anger out on people most of the time but then the tension just stores in my body making me seem like an overall cold-hearted unemotional person. How do I release my emotions in a gentle way without anger and frustration?

Anger is a natural emotion, a way of showing displeasure with someone or something as it affects you. Unmanaged anger can have catastrophic results. At the moment your way of managing your anger, or a way of releasing the emotions brought on by the anger, is to yell and scream, maybe cry. On the surface this is not all that bad though it could have an unnerving effect on those around you.

How you respond to something that may anger you really depends to a point on what has angered and to what degree it has angered you. To have a full blown tantrum over a broken every day dish would be disproportioned to the event. Whereas say a loved one did something that could have gotten them seriously harmed or killed to my mind is warranted of a full blown tantrum; and yes yelling and screaming is warranted also.

Now to your actual question. If the only way you can relieve yourself of any and all anger is to yell, scream and then cry, regardless of the offence that angered you. Then I would suggest you seek out the help of a good psychologist for help as there is more her than any of us can help with. You need anger management help/classes.

IF you want to try some other ways to rid yourself of the stress caused by the anger, exercise is a good way to do so. Running, working out, swimming, playing a sport like basketball all release endorphins that help release stress.

I have been disabled for the last 10 years because of an auto accident. It was a 3 car accident where I was the only innocent and the only person injured and taken to the hospital. Because of my injuries I had to find a different way to relieve stress.

I found letter writing to be a good way to relieve my anger issues. I never mail them but I do write them. I still get upset at the young man who caused the accident. It is too bad I cannot post the letters I have written to him over the years. I say some very nasty things in those letters to him, things I'm sure that would more than anger him. In the end I relieve my stress at his expense and he has no knowledge of how badly I have spoken of him.

I have written letters on many subjects that have caused me stress and generally the letter writing has relieved my stress. In some instances the letters actually get mailed and the cause of the stress is corrected by the other party. In this case misguided anger resolves nothing if channeled correctly anger can be useful. With these letters I write them while angry, save them on my computer, then reread them the next day before printing them and mailing or emailing them.

My advice then is this. If you have not found any other way to channel your anger and relieve your stress other than the way your have written about. Then I think anger management classes would be of benefit to you. A good psychologist will help with this and most insurance companies will pay for visits to a psychologist.

You might also try one of the other methods I suggested. Exercise will not only help relief your stress, it will also make you healthier. Anger is a natural emotion, a way of showing displeasure with someone or something as it affects you. Unmanaged anger can have catastrophic results. At the moment your way of managing your anger, or a way of releasing the emotions brought on by the anger, is to yell and scream, maybe cry. On the surface this is not all that bad though it could have an unnerving effect on those around you.

How you respond to something that may anger you really depends to a point on what has angered and to what degree it has angered you. To have a full blown tantrum over a broken every day dish would be disproportioned to the event. Whereas say a loved one did something that could have gotten them seriously harmed or killed to my mind is warranted of a full blown tantrum; and yes yelling and screaming is warranted also.

Now to your actual question. If the only way you can relieve yourself of any and all anger is to yell, scream and then cry, regardless of the offence that angered you. Then I would suggest you seek out the help of a good psychologist for help as there is more her than any of us can help with. You need anger management help/classes.

IF you want to try some other ways to rid yourself of the stress caused by the anger, exercise is a good way to do so. Running, working out, swimming, playing a sport like basketball all release endorphins that help release stress.

I have been disabled for the last 10 years because of an auto accident. It was a 3 car accident where I was the only innocent and the only person injured and taken to the hospital. Because of my injuries I had to find a different way to relieve stress.

I found letter writing to be a good way to relieve my anger issues. I never mail them but I do write them. I still get upset at the young man who caused the accident. It is too bad I cannot post the letters I have written to him over the years. I say some very nasty things in those letters to him, things I'm sure that would more than anger him. In the end I relieve my stress at his expense and he has no knowledge of how badly I have spoken of him.

I have written letters on many subjects that have caused me stress and generally the letter writing has relieved my stress. In some instances the letters actually get mailed and the cause of the stress is corrected by the other party. In this case misguided anger resolves nothing if channeled correctly anger can be useful. With these letters I write them while angry, save them on my computer, then reread them the next day before printing them and mailing or emailing them.

My advice then is this. If you have not found any other way to channel your anger and relieve your stress other than the way your have written about. Then I think anger management classes would be of benefit to you. A good psychologist will help with this and most insurance companies will pay for visits to a psychologist.

You might also try one of the other methods I suggested. Exercise will not only help relief your stress, it will also make you healthier.


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