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I'm a 38 year old psychologist living in Nashville, Tennessee. Until shortly over a year ago, I hosted a radio/tv talk show. At the moment, I'm amid plans to start a new one called, " One Man's Opinion". It's a radio show FOR women, ABOUT men, BY a man.
Seeing that alot of issues are age-related, please state your age when posing a question.
Gender: Male
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Occupation: Psychologist
Age: 38
Member Since: November 30, 2003
Answers: 349
Last Update: September 15, 2009
Visitors: 18168

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Allright, I have recently started taking ADDERALL(ADD drug), which goes against all my beliefs, but this way I can stay at my current school which I love. I have an agreement with my parents if I take it I can stay at my current school. But, today after it started kicking in I heard voices. It started in geography, we were talking about Sharon the butcher of Israel. Someone in my head, who was me but not started telling me about how eyes are made of glass and Sharon took out his victims eyes and put them on a wall. It chanted, "Wall of eyes" until I screamed so loud in my head I was suprised no one heard me. It never shut up, unless I was talking to someone, but once I stopped it started. It's hard to explain, it was like I was saying it to myself, but it wasn't me. It's worn off by now, but I think it is making me insane. I don't want to stop taking it, but it is making me completely diffrent. Should I tell my parents? Should I stop taking it? my grades are better. Is it worth it? (link)
Adderall, a cocktail mixture of four different amphetamine salts, was first developed about 20 years ago and marketed under the name Obetrol for weight loss and diet control. In 1996 the FDA approved Adderall for unrestricted use for treatment of Attention Deficit Disorder and Adderall is quickly becoming a physician favorite for the treatment of Attention Deficit Disorder in children. Although the side effects usually associated with it are to be expected, in rare cases, hallucinations have been experienced. I would STRONGLY reccomend that you advise your treating physician about this as SOON as possible!

My younger sister constantly bugs me, because I don't have 50 friends like she does. I just have 15, 6 of which I talk to on a *daily* basis. Is it bad that I don't have a million friends like she does, or is she just being a bitch? (link)
I actually think it's better that you DONT have a ton of friends. I think the more you use the word "friend" the less important it becomes. Personally, I have only THREE...go figure, but I guarantee you that I would do anything for them and feel that they would for me, without asking a question. Sure, I have tons of acquaintances, but when it comes to "FRIENDS", Tina, Dave, and Alisha do it for me. No, It's not a bad thing at all. As time passes and you both grow to depend on others for different things, you'll see.

Hi advicenators (trys to smile)

I really could use some advice.
Its my friends, I am a very nice personI'm 14 a gurl I'm christain I have always been made fun not liked that well by my peers Myeber they'er jealuse I don't know why. well I happend to become friends with I thought my BFF and my other friends (anna-n-lana) that become friends with my BFF and snece they became friends with eachother I have faces thrown my way every time I see anna and lana. and everytime I talk with my BFF she won't believe a word I say and acts like I'm making everything I say up. I don't know why they don't like me. I have never been rude never fought them when they were wrong.
I will be honest that most adults really like me, and seem to favor me ( reason I dn't kknow why) I want to know why they don't like me. I try to be nice They'er always making lies about me and spreading them around. It really hurts and I don't know what to do.
please help.
hated friend (link)
It sounds like you are the mirror that they hate to look through. When we meet people or associte with them on a consistent basis, we often find ourselves judging our selves through what we see in them. They may see you the same way as the adults do, nice, responsible, caring, etc., and that only makes them look at themselves in a way they would rather not see. So being around you makes them feel bad about themselves. At that age, they will never admit it, and probably don't even see it themselves, but to keep from feeling that way, they have to find things about you that make them feel that you aren't as good as THEY think you are. So, in reality, they don't really hate you, they hate the way they LOOK when they're around you. I know this doesn't help in a practical sense. You would still like to be part of the gang. But at least know that deep downinside....they would rather be you, too.

If I have NEVER combined names on ANYTHING with my husband, can his credit report ever be reflected on my credit report? And if so, how is this legal? I do not live in a community property state, we have never purchased ANYTHING together and never will. Do not file income tax returns together. He now has creditors calling him from past obligations years before he met me that I knew nothing about - can they ever come after my assets I owned before ever marrying (house in particular, which is titled under my name before marrying two years prior)? What can I do to protect myself and my future should things go bad? Thank you in advance for your assistance. (link)
I really wouldn't think so, but prior to giving an answer in which I feel comfortable, I would have to know which state you're in. Holding assets as tenants-by-the-entireties is only available for spouses. In Tennessee, the creditor of one spouse can't touch real estate held as tenants-by-the-entireties unless the marriage dissolves or the debtor's spouse predeceases the debtor. However, joint debts of the spouses are not protected. Moreover, with respect to assets held as tenants-by-the-entireties other than real estate, the courts are divided as to whether a creditor of one spouse could seize all or a portion of the asset in satisfaction of the creditor's claim. I really would like to help and answering off the cuff, so to speak< i wouldn't think so. Barring any existing statutes for child-support in your state, but I would have to have the state to answer more thoroughly.

I've asked legit questions and have gotten back rude and insulting answers, which I have repsponded to only to get back more hostility in return. I've even question some of them for answers they gave other people that were mean and totally inapropriate and reported one person in particular to advicenators, but have not recieved a reply from them. It really makes me mad when people are abusive on this site. Some people are clearly not here to help, and seem to enjoy being obnoxious. Did I do the right thing, or is it best to just ignore them and let them get away it? Do you think this site should be monitored? I think it should. The few that want to be rude give this site a bad name in my opinion. (link)
I understand your frustration. To my understanding, this is a monitored site. But, when we wish for something to be done about something that affects us negatively, then we must take action ourselves.
There is a rating system on the site of each advsior here. I don't know how much difference it will make, but, if one offends you in such a manner, you always have the right to go to their site and rate them in a manner that reflects that. After a while, Im sure alot of people will join in and soon, the negative ratings will become public and hopefully that will quell some of the rudeness, if not ridding the site of those unwanteds altogether.
But, I do ask, keep in mind that there are those who ask questions that they really don't want an answer to. They ask the most ridiculous questions imaginable simply to see if we WILL make an attempt to answer. It happens ALOT. And after awhile, it becomes hard for us to determine if the questioner wants an honest opinion or is just "playing around". Maybe thats was the case with you, I'm simply saying it's a possibilty. If not, then I apologize for any unecessary rudeness you may have encountered. In a effort to prevent that, it mayhelp if you prefaced the question with "This is a very serious matter...." or something of the like. Good luck. I hope I have helped in a way.

Hiya there, i would like to ask your advice on a subject that is close to my heart.I have a beautiful 3yrold son, i split with his father when i was pregnant, we had a prety bad split , but i kept caling him wishing we would get back together an it never happened, he had another girlfriend when i was 6months along,

i didnt hear a word from him as he cut his phone off so i wouldnt annoy him. WHEN i had my son, i was the one who contacted him, he came to see him when he was 2months old and gave me only a pitifull 70 in total, i asked him to suport him with only 10 aweek for nappies milk, he refused without even trying saying he was unemployed, i was so shocked at his behaviour, if you cant stand me why punish your own son.

Anyway to cut a long story short i tried my best to keep him in contact with my child, but he made no effort. He stayed away from me when i was pregnant , saw my son at 2months , then neverheard from him for 2yrs until my sister bumped in to him at a shopping centre he said he would like to be a proper father so i called him, he saw my son on his 2nd birthday and gave him 10 and refused ongoing payments, i didnt hear from him until 2 weeks again, by this time i was mad, i had tried so hard , and he was bsically deciding when he felt like walking in and out of my sons life, and that really hurt.we arguged and he unbeliebly said to me so are you aying if i dont give money i cant see my son, i was so annoyed he would even ask such a question and i said yes, couldnt believe it i was in contact with him by chance, i let him see my son, when many others would have told him to get lost and he had the front to even think about losing contact with his son , just because he didnt want to pay 10 a week, anyway its been 2 years now and my sons gonna be 4 hes such a beautiful boy and i couldnt imagine life without him, ive met somebodyelese and im pregnant again so he has a stable family unit now. the last contact i had was just before christmas last yr, [after i had left a distressed message on his phone asking close to tears why he wasn't arond for my sons 3rd birthdy]

he sent me somethig like a chain message befre xmas , i;e send this to 5 people who mean something to you and u can send to me if you like, I never replied, the cheek of it , not even asking how we Were first, sending silly messages, my phone number was cut , he doesnt know where we live. I know hes a hopelesss dad, but i cant help feeling sorry that my son will never know his real father, loads of my family think hes a dead beat , wicked an useless and i gave him loads of chances to play a part in my sons life,and he threw it back in our faces. Basically my question is after everything ive told you how it was do you think i should contact him again,many think im mad too, or should i leave it my son is happy and content with my new partner , what do you think , pls let me know. it drives me mad thniking about it somtimes. takecare and Godbless.x (link)
It's a shame that you should have to endure all of that which you have. Even more shameful, is a man that would willfully neglect his son as such.
I know it's hard for you to do, but the choice is no longer yours to make. The father has to realize what's important to him, namely, his son, and make the UNSOLICITED efforts to try and change the status of the relationship between the two of them.
I'm wondering if there's any part of you that wants to try and contact him for selfish reasons. Maybe there are unresolved,emotional issues that you MAY have with him, that you are not fully recognizing.
Nevertheless, you have taken all of the steps you could. I would say that denying him the opportunity to see his child unless he pays is not the best way, but, I really don't think he would opt to see him if you DID allow him.
Let nature run it's course. If the father wants to be there, let him, if he doesn't, then your son will make up his own mind about him as he matures and HE will decide if he wants to see his father or not on his own.
I wish you the best. Anytime you need to talk, let me know.

My husband has panic disorder and has suffered from panic attacks his entire life. He is on medicine for them now, but he is having a hard time holding a job. I love him dearly but am afraid if I stay I will never have anything, and I'm afraid of the judgement that will be passed on me by my family. I love him and don;t want to abandon him, am I crazy for staying? (link)
Hmmm, he's had these his entire life....had them when you married him.....still has them....and now you want to leave. Could it be that your desire forthe materialistic may be the problem more than his anxiety attacks? "For better or worse....through sickness and in health". Just a thought.

Most people assume that a couple got in a fight if one of them goes to the couch. That is not the case with us. My husband snores sometimes, but hasn't been lately, but when he was, he would go to the couch so he wouldn't bother me. Now he claims he is used to the couch, and falls asleep faster there than on our bed, which is queen-sized. Also, he insists on putting the ceiling fan on when it's not even hot, and I don't like it, so he sleeps on the couch with an electric fan blowing on him. I was just wondering, is this healthy and normal? Am I the only one whose spouse does this? I worry about him wrecking his back sleeping on a narrow couch, and wrecking the couch as well. What do you think? I don't think I do anything to bother him when he is sleeping with me, so what can it be? (link)
Oddly enough, there are hundreds, if not thousands of individuals who are like your husband. I don't think it's odd, and if it actually aids in his sleeping, then that makes it all the less odd. As for you, have you told him that you would prefer he sleeps with you. Tell him that you know its easier for him to sleep the way he has been and that he has become accustomed to it, but it's very important to you that you be able to feel secure with his presence in the bed at night. Tell him how much you would really appreciate beign able to hold him and be held while the two of you sleep. Maybe that will make all the difference in the world. Good luck.

This is really embarassing for me to ask but oh well, here goes...

When I go swimming I wear a bathing suit (duh). But I notice that my pubic hair pokes out through the material (in front). It isn't that noticeable but it's embarassing and you CAN see it. I don't think shaving would help, I think it would just make ot worse. I tried trimming it a bit but that didn't work either! What can I do to stop this???? (link)
Shaving DOES help.

Whats does it mean when guys have wet dreams???

I am 11 years old
It simply means that the young man has entered into puberty. Having dones so, the body has created an excessive amount of sperm that has to be released. When it gets to that point, the body tales over and handles it in its own method. That's when wet dreams occur.

When I was about 6-8, I was friends with this girl. When she came over to my house or when I'd go over to hers, she;d want to play house. She always wanted me to be the dad or the boyfriend or just the guy. She'd want to kiss me and "do it" with me. We did kiss, several times. And we'd get naked and rub each other or finger each other. This comes back to haunt me all the time. How do I deal with this? (link)
I wish you had stated what it is about the incidents that bother you. Is it that you're now having questions of your own sexuality and that's what bothers you, or is that you KNOW what your sexuality is, are rebelling against it, and think that the earlier times may have had soemthing to do with it. I'd ask you to think long andhard about what's really bothering you about it, and then you can start to make progress toward becoming at ease with it.

Thank you so much... I came home today hoping that you'd reply because I really needed help... It worked out Just fine... God Bless you! (link)
You are so very welcome. I'm glad to have been of assistance. And thank you for your blessings, I know God does whether we realize it or not. The best of everything to you.

Its so Confusing... I give adivce too... but I need some...
My friend.. lets call her... "Jennifer".. she Is Going out with "Tyler" and Another girl "Alexis" likes Tyler..well Tyler is going to break up with Jennifer... but She Doesn't know it... But I know... But everyone Tol dMe not to say anything To her... Alexis Is calling Dibbs On Tyler once he Is Single... but I dont Know What to Do... if she finds out I know... Shes my best friend! I NEED HELP! (link)
This one is simple. The problem comes when we try to look at a problem from the "what's best for me" standpoint. look at it from a what's RIGHT standpoint. It's not fair that everyone else is made privy to the information except the person it affects most...her. Meanwhile, she is involved in a relationship that she thinks is going to continue and acting accordingly. Do what's fair...tell her. The "everyone" that told you not to say anything are probably having a good time watching her live this out, with the anticipation of having something to laugh at later. That's not fair to your "friend". You don't have to tell her about who has "dibs" on him, after she's throguh with him, that's none of her concern, but if I was her, I'd like to know so I can make a decisiion before having it made for me.

im 13 and my penis is like 2 to 3 inches is that about right for my age
Yes it is.

I've never used an advice forum b4 but i guess i'll give you an over view of my situation first. I've been with my boyfriend for about 18months, he moved in to my house about 4 months ago, which was his suggestion. Everything was pretty good for a month or so but then we started to notice certain bits about each other, which is obviously going to happen. Silly little things like how we cleaned a room or when the washing up was done...silly little things. I, at the time, was going through a bit of a rough patch with my job, quite stressful and wasn't super happy or bubbly. My other half started to moan that I frowned too much or that i left the room in a mess etc but after doing a 12hour day i was tired and wanted to chill out. He works away on weekends so every weekend i did a full clean of the whole house, but this isn't the way he'd likes it doing. he is very particular about the way he likes things to be done and i'm trying to adapt to these ways but i know, he doesn't, that this isnt going to happen overnight.He's never been in a serious relationship b4 and seems to get very impatient when our relationship doesn't seem to be getting anywhere (where he wants it to go i'm not sure as he doesn't agree with marriage or kids and we're already living together) he's very good at pointing out my faults but can't take me pointing out any of his, he says he won't change for anyone and doesn't believe in comprimise. We're getting to the stage where we either do something about the situation we're in or we spilt up. I really don't want this to happen but I'm running out of ideas on what to do. He's got himself in a negative frame of mind and i don't know how to get him out of it. Please help?
Ps. I'm female and 22, hes 26 and obviously a guy! (link)
The one thing I'm sorry to hear is that he's not open to compromise. That alone will be the one determining factor in whether you stay together or not. You say it was HIS idea ot move in with you. When you catch him in a semi-pleasant mood, sit down with him and explain to him that although you know that there is a certain way that he like things to be done, remind him that he did come into your space and having done so, has to be open to the fact that things are not going to be as he'd like them to. Tell him that you care enough about him to try and do SOME things his way, but that overall, the house and living conditions have to be pleasant for ALL involved. Explain to him your fear about the impending dissolution of the relationship if things don't change and tell him that's not what you want. That doesn't sound as if you're giving him an ultimatum. If things still don't change and he's not open to compromise, then you'll have to leave.

What is the meaning of life? (link)
To live. Not simply exist....but really LIVE.

am i weird? i masterbate with anything and everything i can. ( and electric toothbrush, stuffed animals, my dog, ext.) heve i crossed the line?

Not odd at all. Strange enough, stuffed animals are one of the most used objects when it comes to masturbation for females ( a pillow is high on the list, too ) as for the dog, I would efinately say that's a bit over the line of social norm. I'd would really like if you were to drop me a line outside of the public forum here. If you'd care to, use the e mail address on my column.

She is 4 and she almost always wants to pretend to be a cartoon character, and wants me to be one too. Sometimes, I just am not in the mood to be a cartoon character and talk in a silly voice. I already told her I won't do it in public, and she understands, but she still bugs me to be characters at home. How do I get her to stop this, or at least not expect me to play along with it every time? It's getting old. Does anyone else have kids that do this? (link)
Yes, most children do this. Your child is now going through what's called the " formative years". Doing so, she finds the first permanent aspects of who she will be as she ages. In asking you to " do it too" she may be seeking the simpleness of your attention, or your approval. Your attention becuase, she likes who she sees in you and wishes to emulate that ( BIG compliment ), or your approval, because she wants to know if what makes her happy makes the person she cares the most about ( you ), happy, as well. I know this can be a quite tiring and even annoying time for you, but trust me, it won;t last long. In the meantime, you might be able to "fool" her into not wishing to speak like that by praising her whenever she uses her "adult" voice. The next time she uses a voice other than that of spongebob squarepants or the powerpuff girls, make it a big point to tell her how proud you are that she's becoming a "big girl". Soon enough, the cartoon voices will lose their appeal to her.

Okay this might sound kinda wierd but here it goes. I have been married for 2 1/2 years and I can't take it any more. I am in love just not with my husband. I still love my ex more than anything in this world and I don't know how to deal with it. We still see eachother all the time. Him and my husband work together. I see him every day. We even had an affair. Mynhusband knew the whole time and now he has found a girkfriend and wants us to stop seing each other. He has been with her for 2 months and I am so jelouse of her. What can I do?? (link)
Sounds like you want what you can't have. I don't think you developed love for your husband all of a sudden. I think the fact that he has now found someone else, thus driving homw the fact that you're not number one in his life anymore, is a burden you can't bear. Now that he no longer "wants you", you suddenly want him. Honestly, if you two did reconcile, it would only be for a short period of time. Then you'd find that you "still" don't love him and look to dabble elsewhere. Chalk it up as a learning experience and move on. If he's truly found happiness, be glad for him. Funny that you no longer mention your feelings about your ex. i bet they went away when he was no longer taboo. Time to grow and go. Good luck.

have question.

Is it wrong to expect a B-day party?
I am not someone that is selfish or anything of the sort but I dont know. on tuesday i will be turning 14 and i won't even be getting a cake let alone gifts. now my mother is poor and we don't have alot of money so this is the reason im feeling selfish thinking this. i have a cousin that turned 8 today and the had this HUGE bash infact they have had a big bash everyyear of her life but its like im to "OLD" now and no one thinks of me. i feel like im being selfish but yet i really would like to have something to look back on. turning 14 is something big for me cause turning 14 means being "more" of an adult now. another thing that is this i big to me is because i have never had a b=day party in my life. yeah if you count my aunt, grandmother, and 1 of my 2 sisters. my mom says oh, just wait till your sweet sixteen. yeah well she told me that when i turned 12 that i could have a big party when i turn 13 or 14, well i just feel like a big baby that wants gifts. i don't even care about the gifts its just that i feel as if no one even thinks about me. i just would like to have one day to myself for me instead always being the one everyone turns to. i have had 1 person send me a b-day card. i know i sound like a big selfish baby but i guess i need some advice.
B-day party blues (link)
Hmmm, you say you feel like you're sounding selfish. That's probably because you are. you state that your mother is "poor", yet you want her to spend money she doesn't have to give you something you don't really need. I didn't hear you say that you were hungry so I guess she feeds you. i didn't hear you state that you were cold, so I guess you have a roof over your head. See where I'm going with this? Thought so. And, once again on your mom's side, the "sweet sixteen" IS the ultimate of parties. You say you're more of an adult your mom some appreciation and start to act like it. I bet people think of you all the time, just not in the way YOU want them to. Take some time to look around and really SEE what people do for you. I bet you'll be amazed. happy Birthday.

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