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I'm a 38 year old psychologist living in Nashville, Tennessee. Until shortly over a year ago, I hosted a radio/tv talk show. At the moment, I'm amid plans to start a new one called, " One Man's Opinion". It's a radio show FOR women, ABOUT men, BY a man.
Seeing that alot of issues are age-related, please state your age when posing a question.
Gender: Male
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Occupation: Psychologist
Age: 38
Member Since: November 30, 2003
Answers: 349
Last Update: September 15, 2009
Visitors: 18364

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i'm a bisexual girl, and i have a huge crush on a female friend of mine (we're not that close, more liek just getting to know each other/talking in classes). she doesnt know my sexual preference and, more importaintly, i dont know hers. so my question is, how would i go about finding out her sexual preferance without right out asking her. we have many mutual friends but i think i may feel weird asking them if shes straight or not, because theyd want to know why, and anyone close enough to her to know would probably tell her i asked. any ideas? (link)
Look for tell-tale signs of the physical nature. Does she often catch herself glancing at certain parts of your body that men would commonly look at? Does she "touch" you a bit too much in your opinion? You know....that grabbing of the arm when you say something funny, etc.? How much does she compliment you and WHAT does she say when she does? I'd bet the Pope's last dollar that the signs are there. I'd also double or nothing his last, that she DOES know your sexual preference, love. When you're next together. Respectfully compliment a female that you find really hot and see her reaction. Does she agree with you? Does she simply say, " Hmph." and move on? Something tells me you're a smart cookie. You'll know what's there. I think the biggest thing holding you back is being the first to "open up". Take your time. When you're close enough, you'll know when to tell her. If it hasn't already been established. And don't be surprised if she says, " Baby, I already knew".
Any further questions? Feel free to ask me. I'm listed here as OneMan

i dont no if i am straight bi or a lesbian, i mean i always have the hots for guys but sometimes i catch my self checking out a girl its not all the time becuase then i would no but every once in a while i will check one out and i dont no why i would be like oo she has a nice butt or something like that even though i no i lean towards guys but i need help (link)
Well, the question would be, "How far do you allow your mind to go when thinking of these other women"? Do you see yourself simply admiring their physiques or beauty? Or do you see yourself possibly sweating the walls, screaming aloud while in the midst of their company? If you still find yourself leaning toward men, I'd opt for bisexuality. If so, hell, enjoy it. More for you to choose from, I say. If you see yourself just saying, " Oh, she has a nice butt, rack, etc., etc.," then I'd probably chalk it up to your simply admiring what you secretly wished for yourself. Hell, it may just be that like me, you recognize the beauty of women and that's that.
Any further questions, feel free to ask me. I'm listed here as "OneMan"

how do you get a guy to like you if you are not a very pretty girl? (link)
Sadly enough, you didn't tell me how old you are. I can deduce however that you have to be pretty young or you wouldn't CARE if they liked you for aesthetic reasons or not.
Nevertheless, the answer is fairly simple. If they happen to be teenagers, hang it up,. They are more concerned with what their firends will think if they are seen with you and aren't willing ( or MATURE ) enough to risk being ostracized. If they're older, then try and let them know that you share some of the same interests as they do. Each man being different. Strike up a conversation about something you hear him talking about with enthusiasm and see if that makes a dent. Most men are really taken by women who share some of the same interests as them or at least provides them with yet another opportunity to show how much they know about something.
Any further questions, feel free to ask me. I'm listed here as OneMan

ok i cant stand men here i am again with the third update on kyle ok today was the first day i seen him since i had the fight with him and told him i liked him well today he totally ignored me i mean we shared glances and locked eyes a couple of times but i think i made him nervuose cause he likes my friend but i dont regret telling him i just want him to talk to me help!!!! (link)
Lol, the easiest way to get him to talk to you love, is to ignore HIM. We men have above all else, an ego that wont quit. Once you made it obvious that you had an interest in him, he felt that he no longer had to try to gain yours. That freed him up to do whatever with whomever. ANd to make it KNOW he likes your friend. Hell, that gives him carte' blanch with you. Bacjk up, slow down, and treat him as if he's the LEAST important thing in your life. Once he feels that he's not the greatest thing to happen to you since mini-tampons, I can almost guarantee he'll come running. Any further questions, look me up under "OneMan"

Is there any open and unambiguous way to let a girl know she's charming, gorgeous, mesmerizing and brilliant without being miscontrued?

What if such a misconstrual would be right :) ? (link)
What do you mean by being misconstrued. I dont buy that. You're probably telling her that for the purposes of revealing your thoughts about her in the hopes of starting a relationship, or in the least, getting her into bed. So what do you mean by misconstrued? Tell her what you think, openly, and honestly, and for once, stop the games. Women like that.

Alright, i just got back from hanging out with this guy (sry another guy prob hehe). well he and i like eachother and he kept talking about how he wanted to kiss me. However he never did. I know he isnt shy, because he definetly isnt if you knew him. So what's holding him back? He almost kissed me today, but then sorta changed his mind i guess...what could the problem be? I think he isn't sure if i want him to or not> How can I tell him that yes, I want him to kiss me, without freaking him out?
Simple. Tell him. Hell, this is the new century. You won't be chastised for exerting your sexuality. And, I'd bet the Pope's last dollar that noone will hog-tie you and emblazon your bountiful breats with a scarlet "A". We men can be a little funny sometime and may just need the proverbial kick in that part that makes us get off of it. If you're still a bit hesitant to "make the first move", try this. The next time you're out together and feel the time is right, take his chin (so he can't scramble away in total petrification) pull him gently to you as you lean in, and plant one on him. That removes the pressure of his having to make the move (which is what I feel the problem is) and still allows you to retain your ever so guarded " respectable " status.
I'm starting a new column called "One Man's Opinion". It's produced FOR women, about men, BY a man, and offers TRUE, no nonsense answers to all of your wuestions about our odd actions. I once rhosted a radio talk show and took a hiatus after 10 years. After I receive enough readers, I'll syndicate and then go back to radion. I'm listed here as OneMan and will be glad to answer any and all questions about the b.s. that alot of us men put you lovely ladies through.

I am having a very strange dilemma...I've noticed, lately, that I've been getting tighter the more I...pleasure myself.

I was wondering if anyone knew what this was. If it's something serious, or a random oddity, or what? (link)
No, love, it's not strange nor is it a random oddity. It's probably a less severe for of a condition termed "vaginismus". This is a condition where the vagina tightens involuntarily during intercourse. In your case, it's most likely the swelling of the tissue and vessels within the vagina as the blood flow increases during stimulation. Be happy, alot of men would KILL for a vagina like yours :)
C. McLin Ph.D.

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