about

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda (or Manda - NEVER Mandy), and I'm 22 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In the last 5 years, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to engaged, from tenant to homeowner.

I've also been struggling with a recent diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life over the last few years and taken just about everything from me. Never one to let things get me down permanently, however, I'm building a new life from scratch. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.

Feel free to contact me via my e-mail, MSN or AIM. I'm a computer addict, so I'm often available at odd hours.

advice



I was just wondering, I'm a plus size. I always wanted nice clothes. Lately I've been thinking about maybe trying maturity wear (Although I'm not pregnant) The question is...Would it show my stomach? I know it's for woman who are pregnant but can you still wear them if you are not pregnant without your stomach showing? Can people tell if it's maturity wear? I just like some of the clothes they have. Rather than shopping at places like Walmart.


Thanks

The problem with maternity wear is that there's only going to be extra room in the tummy area. Most of us plus-size gals need extra room everywhere! You might find that it's too tight in the chest, or the arms, or if you get pants, in the legs but not the waist.

I would definitely recommend Addition-Elle, MXM and Penningtons. They're both stores that I shop at.

http://www.1-plus.com/additionelle.htm

(has links to the other two stores at the top)

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Ok, first off I want to say I know I'm very paranoid. I want to end this and never do what i do again. Here are the things I do..
1. I am always looking out the windows in my house, peeking out the blinds, to see if anyone is outside staring up at my window trying to watch me. Or if I'm on the first floor I'll look to see if anyone is sneaking on my porch to watch me through the windows.
2. I check my house for hidden cameras. Sometimes I'll get this feeling like there is a camera in my house and I'll check whatever areas necessary.
3. If I'm in a room with the door closed, i'll open it and peek around and listen for who is possibly in the other rooms
4. I have to have the doors closed and draws all closed. If the door is left open, the crack of darkness creeps me out, making me think that someone is watching me through it.
5. I get nervous and anxious and ready to find someone, but I never do.

I just want to stop all of this. Sometimes I will check out the window like 10x a minute. I know it doesn't make sense, I know no one is watching me, but I cant help but feel this way.

You may have anxiety or OCD... or both.

We can't make a diagnosis on here, but there's good news! I suffer from both, and they can often be treated with just counselling. A licensed therapist can help you to find out why you do this (a childhood incident? Phobias?) and help you to overcome your compulsions.

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Hey,my names Alyssa.& i broke up with my boyfriend Zack in like the middle of january. and we used to sit at the same lunch table and the day i broke up with him this other kid Mark got everyone in the table to put their legs out and take up all the seats so that i couldnt sit down. so i went and sat with these girls Roni, kim cait sam and dana, that day one of the girls wernt there and so i sat in her seat.that was yesterday. and today that girl was in school so i had to find somewhere else to sit. the only place i could find was behind Zacks table. i was really embarresed because Mark kept saying stufff reallly loud like "ALYSSA HAS NO FRIENDS! IF YOUR HER FRIEND, YOU GAY TOO!" and when i started eating, they started throwing food at me! and i ran to the bathroom and started crying. and i dont know what to do! my bestfriends turned agnst me. please help me.

Sweetheart, those are no friends.

These people are seriously immature and rude. You don't want to be friends with people like that.

Next time they pull crap like that, make sure you don't react negatively in front of them. Try turning and saying something like "Don't you have anything better to do with your time than irritate me?" or "Really? I thought we were out of kindergarten." These people are looking for you to get upset and shout or cry. If you act more mature than them and don't give them what they want, they'll look really stupid and childish.

If it continues, tell a teacher what is happening so that they can look out for you at lunch. It is harassment, and most schools have a no-tolerance policy.

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WARNING! VERY LONG.
hi. so i know the title is pretty vague, but i don't have a clue on what my situation is. firstly, i put down friendships as my catergory, but it's a lot to do with families and mental health.
so i'll start off by lettin gyou know that i'm clinically depressed. i've always been like this, since i was six. well that's my first memories of it. it's not uncommon, it's genetic. it does rule my life, and i think that if i had friends who were willing to listen to me tell them how to handle me, i'd be fine, despite that fact that i cut myself a lot - not too badly, nothing that would seriously hurt me, don't worry, they're practically scratches. unfortunatley, i don't have any friends. I also don't have family, but i'll explain that later.
I've tried counselling and therapy. i can't stand that soemone who doesn't, and will not ever care about me, is being paid to listen to me. i want a friend who actually genuinely does care about me to listen to me. like i say, i don't have that. i am fully aware of my depression, since i've had a long time to analyse myself. however, it's not just my attitudes to things that need changing. i know i have low self esteem, and tend to think negitavely. but i'm quite smart, and i think i can, and do change that mind set a lot of the time. unfortunatley, my situation really is against me. i'm in a school for people who are a lot smarter than me, and altough i know i'm clever, i feel constantly put down by them. the one person who i talk to most, and i guess by your terms, you could say she's my best friend, though i don't like her very much, even beat me to a scholarship, and though i don't say anything, it hurt me a lot.
Although i'm pretty aware of my mental health, i do tend to shut myself off. i can't help it. i finally got some ounce of courage to ask my GP about it. i already know, but i wanted some medication to make it easier. but she told me i'd ave to have a session with a specialist beofrehand, and i chickend out. i'm a pretty good liar, i have to be, because i get asked if i'm okay a lot by teachers, some even recommending me to therapists, and even when i'm in a doctors office, and am MEANT to talk about it, my defences go up, and i start pretending that i'm fine, causing them to believe me. it's my own damn fault, and i now, and it's killing me.
i know this may all sound really confusing. it's like i want help but am refusing to ask for it.
It's really complicated, i don't htink anyone can understand it, because every type of depression is different.
As well as all that shit, My dad walked out on me and my mom wen i was thriteen. i really can't bring myself to talk to anyone about it. remember i told you about my 'best friend'? well the most i've said to her is that i think my dad is a son of a bitch (which he is.) and my mom is a useless pathetic mess, who i am completely ashamed of. (i didn't tell her the last bit.)
Whenever i get into my lowest points, my mind automatically thinks about this, and all the other crap in my life (WHICH I REFUSE TO TALK ABOUT. IT'S FAR MORE PAINFUL FOR ME TO THINK ABOUT.), it jsut makes it worse.
I sometimesget into theese moods, in whihc my friend calls me a stone wall, because no matter ho ard she pushes, i won't talk or do anything.
I know it sounds like she want to talk to me, but it's hard to expalin. i know she doens't because i can tell se just gets annoyed at me, even when i try to start talking about it. i just got out of a really low point, and tried to tell her i had a bad week, and she just rolls her eyes and asks me that in comparision to starving kids in africa, what do i have to complain about. her mom has cancer, so i know thta everyone has teir own crap. but no on seems to get how hard it is to do this completely by myself.
i don't want to get on about my family, because it hurts a lot, but it's safe to say, i am alone.
i wish my friend could be online or something, so i could try to takl to her again, but not face to face at school, because even thoguh i'm not sad, one of my symptoms of depression is that i start crying randomnly, but i have never cried at school or in front of anyone before, and i would hate to cry in front of her. i want to talk to her, but not face to face. but she's being so stubborn about being on the internet, and i can't explain to her why i need her to do this. it's so impossible because i'm surrounded by people who are inexplicably being to uncooperative, and i hate confrontation and am really defensive, so i tend to always be the one who gets left on the sidelines whilst people argue, and moan. and it really sucks, because recently some of my symptoms ave been getting worse. one of the symptoms thta my GP had to explain to me was physical pain. apparently it's a real pain, but is caused by depression. i used to think i was having a stroke or a heart attack which freaked me out, and no one knew, and i didn't tell my mom or ayone because all i could think was that i must be a freak and relaly unhealthy if i was having a heart attack. turns out they were just a symptom, but it's becoming worse, and more often and i've been having a lot more panic attacks. so i really need to let this out. i thought asking this website would help, but i don't think anyone can do anything. that's okay. i'm used to dealing with things by myself since i was young (Like i said, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS.), but if you ave an opinon, maybe it might help. Right now, my suicidal impulses are at a low, but i've been on medication, so maybe that's why. please don't say crap like, don't kill yourself or cut yourself, because like i said, i am somewhat intelligent, and i know what i'm doing. just tell me how i can takl to a person. a uman perosn, not a hotline. or if you could just tlk about your own experiences or something. i don't know. i don't know what will help, but anything will do, right now. because i'm scare the pains, and panic attacks will get worse, and i'm running our of medication (not prescribtion) so i don't want things to get worse by then. thanks. sorry this was long.

Okay.

Just to give you a little background on myself, so you take my advice seriously: I'm 22 years old, dealing with bipolar disorder and anxiety. I just got my diagnosis a few months ago, but I've been living with symptoms for my entire life. I use a combination of counselor, psychiatrist and medication to work with my illness right now.

There are some issues with your outlook on this that need to be addressed. They are likely caused by your depression, but you can't let them rule you. I know, easier said than done.

You need to open up to your therapist. They're not paid to listen to you. They're paid to act as a mediator for your thoughts, and to help you work out your issues. If you don't feel like things are working with your therapist, like they just sit there, find a new one who is more proactive. As for them being a stranger, and you wanting a friend to talk to: it's not fair to put that amount of pressure on a friend. Friends will tell you what you want to hear rather than risk friendship; therapists will tell you what you NEED to hear. Friends aren't necessarily equipped to help you work through your depression. Everyone has issues of their own to deal with. That's why therapists exist; to allow someone to dedicate their time to working through someone else's mental health issues. They are highly trained professionals who know their stuff.

That being said, yes, you do need supportive friends. From the sounds of it, though, you aren't willing to open up and talk about the real issues. Actually, you flat-out tell us this several times, in caps lock. You have to be willing to really dig deep and self-analyze. Yes, it hurts. Goodness, I know from personal experience that it hurts. Thing is, unless you confront those issues beneath the surface, they'll bubble up from time to time. If you deal with them, they can't really come back to haunt you like that. So start talking. Talk to your therapist. Talk to a very close friend. Talk to yourself (in a diary, of course, not in public)! Just think about it really hard and stay in control. Don't let your issues cloud your life.

Your depression is affecting the way you look at your life in general. Heck, that's what it does to everyone. One way it's really affecting you is in how you look at the depression. Once you pull yourself out of this pit, it will just be a minor irritation, like having asthma or mild diabetes. Yes, it sucks, but you can monitor and manage it. You just need to shock yourself out of where you are now.

Here's what I had to do a few years ago to get myself out of a serious depressive spiral:

1) Stop making excuses. Stop saying "But I don't wanna!". If you know it makes sense, do it. Have someone you trust push you to do so. This is where therapists come in really handy. You don't wanna talk about your issues. You don't wanna seek treatment. You don't wanna... see a pattern here? You need to break that pattern, because it's keeping you down.

2) Stop equating being smart with being mentally healthy. It's not a sign of stupidity, having a negative mindset. You have depression. It's a genetically caused negative mindset. It isn't a sign of lack of self-control, and it certainly isn't a sign of stupidity. I'm a dean's honour list student at my college. Am I stupid? Was it because of stupidity that I failed out of school a few times? No, it was me NOT coping with the genetic cards life dealt me. You need help changing your mindset. You may need prescription help. You may need another person pushing you to change your mindset. You're fortunate in that you can self-analyze. Not many people have that ability. It's that ability that will make this go way faster for you. You know what you're doing. You know it's not doing you any good. So why do you do it?

3) Distance yourself from people who are "toxic". Everyone has those friends. Your best friend sounds like one of them. Those people who just can't seem to sympathize with your problems, because someone else is always worse off. Thing is, those starving kids in Africa have nothing on the starving kids in Africa who have AIDS. Are they not justified in being miserable? You have problems, and because they're yours, they are important. Depression causes people to feel worthless; this friend is reinforcing that idea. If you can't make new friends, befriend yourself. Spend time alone doing things that make you feel better. Pick up a new hobby. Work out. Enjoy yourself.

4) Stop looking so far into the future. And by that, I mean stop looking any further than 24 hours. Rather than worrying about those pesky "what-ifs" that fly around when you're anxious or depressed ("What if I have more panic attacks? What if I feel like this forever?") try to focus on the here and now. Look at the positives, as hard as it may be. Even if it's something silly like, "Hey! I got out of bed and showered today! I haven't felt like doing that in ages!" it'll make you feel better. Every thing you do is an accomplishment. Eventually, as your treatments begin working, you will start to be able to look further into the future. Once you've gone without panic attacks for a day, or a week, it's easier to envision another day or week without them.

5) Don't see relapses as the end of the world. If you have a panic attack, it doesn't mean you've lost all progress. These things will happen less and less as time goes by. Take it as a small hiccup in your progress, and keep on truckin'.

Bottom line: you need to hoist your own trousers, because nobody will do it for you. I know it's harsh, and that it's something you likely already know. It's all a matter of pushing past that big obstacle in the middle of your path and doing what you need to do for yourself.

If you need to discuss things further, you can always contact me by private question. Be warned: I won't sugarcoat things, but that's because I do have real life experience in this sort of thing and I know that sugarcoating doesn't work.

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Hello i was wondering what type of coin this is and if its worth any money?



http://tinypic.com/r/15gtnq8/6

http://tinypic.com/r/2yn56yp/6

It is a 500 yen coin, from the first year of the Heisei era, which began in 1989.

This means it's from 1989, with a current value of about $5.66 USD.

Since it's not old enough, it won't be worth anything as an antique... just like a one dollar bill from the 80s.

If you want to verify for yourself, here are the resources I used to identify it.

http://www.angelfire.com/retro/jordwm/JDates.html
http://www.lioncoins.com/nippon.htm

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I'm 18. I'm in high school. A high school for the GIFTED, actually, and yet half the kids in my school don't know the difference between "their" and "they're", "your"/"you're", "to"/"too", etc. And, well, neither does the rest of teenage America.

What the fuck? What HAPPENED. What the hell is wrong with this country that we can't learn grammatical laws that have been introduced to is in, what, second grade? Has having cell phones permanently put kids in "typin like dis lol" mode?

I feel your pain. Even worse are the weird ways of typing that take even longer.

Like Capitalizing Every Word, Regardless Of Whether It Should Be Or Not.

Orr addingg extrra letterss?

It's not cell phones. It's laziness. A lot of people don't think that they should have to put in the effort to type nicely for their friends and family that they would for, say, their boss. Then again, lack of practice because of this policy leads them to make more errors, often in serious venues.

To take the edge off the pain, though, these are great comics. I've been tempted to print them off and pass them out to my grammatically challenged friends.

Ten words you need to stop misspelling:
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling

How to use a semi-colon:
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/semicolon

How to use an apostrophe:
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/apostrophe

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okay so someone told me if i get my hair cut every 2 months my hair will grow more.. i took off an inch yesterday and its back to where it was 2 months agoo.. so how much hair am i suppose to take off?

Your hair grows at the average rate; about a half inch per month.

It won't grow faster, but it will look much healthier, giving the illusion of growth.

There's really nothing you can do to make your hair grow faster.

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when ever i think about sex I get really disgusted, sex seems so nasty and gross, i mean someone licking you down there and eating you out gross, and someone fingering you and putting there parts in you, im being serious, well my question is, Is sex gross?

When you really break it all down, sex is kinda gross and weird.

When you're having sex with someone you love and care about, none of the gross parts matter, because you're just making someone you love feel good, and they're doing the same to you.

It really is a lot of fun, but only with the right person. Otherwise, it's weird.

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My mom has told me for years now that I need to eat breakfast and that it's the right way to start my day. I understand that and I understand that it's suppose to help the brain function properly throughout the day. She also told me that it helps to keep my metabolism up and in a healthy range for my body.

Every time I try to eat breakfast in the morning I get sick though. I feel like I'm going to throw up and vomitting is NOT fun, especially right before school! I tried eating just toast or cereal and not heavy foods like greasy eggs and bacon but it doesn't seem to make a difference. My mom eats oatmeal in the morning but I haven't tried it but I doubt I would feel any better from eating it instead.

What is wrong with me and why can't I eat breakfast without getting sick? It's terrible so I just don't eat it at this point which means I go like 4 hours after I wake up before I eat anything. Is there anything I can take to make the nausea go away when I eat breakfast or anything I can do to keep myself from getting sick?

I'm exactly the same way. I just can't seem to eat a big breakfast before 10:30 in the morning.

My favourite is oatmeal (the 5 minute kind, NEVER instant!) and fresh fruit. You only need a very little bit and it keeps you from getting hungry throughout the day. Other than that, I'll sometimes skip the oatmeal and just have an apple or some pineapple or melon. Just a little something to give the energy boost we all need in the morning without making you feel like you swallowed a rock.

Stay away from greasy, heavy foods and dairy products. Your stomach may be more sensitive to these foods early in the day because it's entirely empty.

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I asked this question a few days ago, but i had some things to add. So, I shoplifted the other day. Not anything huge, just some earrings from American Eagle and a shirt from Forever 21. They didn't have an ink tag or anything, just a price tag with a barcode, which I ripped off. I have a job, along with money from my parents. So i can understand how I would seem ungrateful. But the truth is, no matter how much money i have, I can't afford EVERY single thing I want. Which i know i shouldn't ask of that anyway.. but shoplifting is like a high for me. I get such a rush from knowing that I can get away with it. I know it's wrong. But I'm going to continue to do it because i like doing it. I saw it as an easy solution. I hid them under clothes to take in the dressing room, so the attendant saw no difference. And I also bought a shirt, in case there could be any suspicion. But my question is, are there security cameras in the dressing room.. is that even legal ? Or what are others ways I could get caught ?
ALSO, it's not like I'm going to steal clothes with an ink tag. And if the dressing room attendant counts my clothes, obviously I wont take any because i'll have to have the same amount when I come out. And like I said, I will buy something else from the store I'm stealing from.

(And please PLEASE do not tell me about how shoplifting is wrong. I don't have a guilty conscience about it, and I'm going to continue to do it.)

17/f

You've asked this question here before, and I believe you got the same answer from everyone.

You can't ask us questions about illegal activities on this website. If we did give illegal advice, it could get this entire site shut down, which would ruin it for all the law-abiding users.

Shoplifting is a crime, and it hurts more than just the business owners. It hurts the consumers, who have to pay higher prices to pay for your stolen goods. It hurts the employees, who get paid a little less because of losses. I was even fired from a retail job in high school because of excessive shoplifting during my shift.

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My boyfriend and I REALLY want to have sex in the shower for our first time. He said his friend told him that if we use some sort of soap (like bar soap or even SHAMPOO) that we won't have to worry about me getting pregnant. That way we won't have to buy condoms or anything too. Sounds great, yeah? :D

My parents are going to be away this saturday for a little while and I thought about asking my boyfriend to come over and we could do it in the shower. ;) I'm kind of nervous about the soap thing though because I don't want to end up being a pregnant teen.

:) Is it true that you can't get pregnant if you use soap as lubrication during sex in the shower?
And, if so, what is the best soap/shampoo to use for lube in the shower? ;) ;) THANKS

DON'T DO IT!

First off, you CAN get pregnant this way.

Secondly, you can seriously damage yourself if you get soap forced up inside of you! You can end up with a really bad infection.

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im selling a mac computer i think its the macintosh and ive had for about a few years it works great and all but i want to see it for a laptop. How much could i see it for or if i go to a pawn shop how much will they offer. theres no scratched its pretty clean and runs well..

Which Mac is it? What are you selling it with?

Unfortunately, without this information, we really can't help.

My suggestion would be to go on eBay and look for the same computer. See what other people are selling it for. Then base your price off of that.

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I don't mean to sound stupid but I'm curious if zombies are actually real to some extent. I'm not talking about the "zombies" you see in movies and on the television though that are after brains (or should I say "brraaainnsss!"). I also don't mean an actual invasion of zombies that tends to be the basis on many movies. I'm just talking about the walking dead, I suppose. Is there a such thing as the walking dead? Are there real incidences of zombies or A zombie? Any proof to back up a zombie theory? Just curious, really...

I looked up zombies, and found the Wikipedia page really interesting.

Apparently, there is a basis for it, but it isn't exactly like they show on TV. I'd summarize, but I don't think I could tell it nearly as well as Wikipedia!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zombie

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I have really bd skin.
Like in the winter it gets all dry and stuff.
Currently, I have three very dry, very cracked fingers.
I read someone there were some time of gloves you could wear at night that would sofen them up?

What are those gloves and where can I find them?

I've got eczema on my hands, so sometimes they'll get so dry they crack and bleed! Here's what I do at night:

First, you need a 1% hydrocortisone cream. You can get them without a prescription at drugstores. It contains a steroid that causes your skin to retain moisture.

Then, you need a pair of thin cotton gloves. Drugstores sell those as well.

You put a thin layer of the cream on the areas that are dry, then put on the gloves overnight. It really helps the cream to sink in.

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heyy so i have a question that needs to be answered by saturday because thats when the date is!!! This cute guy asked me outt and we've been texting. I only met him once at a dance (but don't worry i know him through friends) so i really only talked to him in person for a little bit and i know he wants to hook up with me this weekend. I mean he seems really into me but we only met once and pretty briefly! I'm just nervous because i've really only hooked up with a guy once, i mean i've kissed guys but never really in a date like situation except one time, where its just us together, one on one all night.

I know he wants to hook up and i do too its just that first of all I'm really self conscious about my body. I'm short but not really thin so I'm worried if we're laying down and i get on top of him I'll just be really uncomfortable same with if he tries to feel me up just because I'm not comfortable with my body. Also I'm worried about being a bad kisser! i mean the last guy i hoked up with didn't have any complaints! But I'm just worried since I only met this kid once and we're gonna hang out and he won't like em or will think i'm a bad kisser.

I know this is stupid and I guess it's just nerves but doesn't anyone ever feel like this or have any advice!? Thanks so muchhhh

Personally, I'd have to say don't go anywhere. You're dooming your relationship from the start if you give away the goods right away!

If you just met him, of course you'll be uncomfortable climbing around on him. Wait till you know him better. If he's not willing to wait for you, then he's not worth giving it up for :)

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I have 4 pills of x. im a female, 90 lbs, first time taking it. if i took all 4, im sure id o.d right? should i just take one then?

Risking the one! Yay!

You shouldn't take any of them. It's an incredibly dangerous drug, especially for someone of your size.

Even the first time you take it, you can die, because there are often impurities and extras in it. For years after, you can experience flashbacks as the residue leaches out of your spinal fluid. Not a good thing.

Also, it's illegal, and we really can't give out illegal advice. You wouldn't want us to get in trouble, would you?

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I want to design roller coasters.

What will I need to major in in college?>

There are a few types of engineers that would all work together on designing roller coasters. It's way too big a job for just one person to do!

Mechanical: for all the moving parts.

Civil: for the stuff that isn't supposed to move (the actual structure and supports)

Electrical: For the electrical systems involved.

They may also use an architect to help make it pretty.

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50% of marriages end in divorce.

What do you believe that the reason for this is? I mean, were the people not meant for each other in the first place? Did it just take living together for a while for them to realize that?

OR was what brought down the marriage, well, getting married? Are some couples super happy as boyfriend/girlfriend but the stereotypical expectations of a married couple get in the way? (i.e. the wife has to cook, care for kids, etc.; husband has to work)

i hope i'm making sense.

i just want some opinions on this :)

I think that divorce is fairly prevalent for many reasons. However, I really don't support divorce unless it's a case of abuse or repeated adultery. I'm one of those hopeless romantics who thinks that marriage isn't something to be rushed into, and that it should be forever. Divorce with no better cause than "we don't particularly care for each other" cheapens marriage, in my opinion.

- People tend to get married without having spent enough time together. Before anyone gets married, they should deal with big fights, morning breath and getting bored with each other. It's overcoming these things that makes marriage successful, not avoiding them!

- Getting married too young. If you get married at 18, chances are by 25 you'll have grown up and apart. People change a lot in their early years, and it's difficult to make sure those changes happen in step with your partner's. Now, I don't mean to be judgmental by saying this. I was engaged at 19, but I'm still not married at 22, because I wanted to wait until I was older.

- Marriage means a lifetime commitment. Sometimes that scares people. They rush into it because it's all oh so romantic, and then they look in the mirror 5, 10, 20 years later and realize it's going to be an eternity of flossing next to the other person. Not so romantic.

- Getting bored can be an issue. People fall into ruts all the time. It's hard work to keep a relationship from getting into a rut. Think about spending all your time with the same person for 40 years. It's easy to get bored! That's why you need someone who can keep you on your toes :)

- Even as recently as 20-30 years ago, it was still expected for women to get married. They didn't have the same opportunities that women today have. Women today can be anything and support themselves, because we're approximately equal earners and can go into whatever field we want. Women were to be wives first, workers MAYBE second. That's all changed, and women don't feel a need to validate themselves by getting married or staying married.

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So I've been married for a year and a half now. My marriage has been soo very difficult but has gotten a lot better. I have ALWAYS had insecurities with my husband and his female friends. I know this sounds wrong but I just didnt like it when he gave them too much attention, like I didnt wanna share him. The first year of our marriage he pampered my insecurities. He just flat out stopped talking to them, I never told him to but he just decided to do it himself. So for the whole year I was obviously happy with this desicion but as assumed he wasnt cause he says I treated him like he still did. He doesnt do this anymore, he talks to them now and i told him i didnt have a problem with it. But deep down it still bothers me. I never bring it up because I dont wanna start a fight and be so immature but I cant help but to be bothered about it every day. Please dont judge me, I know this sounds ridiculous and immature especially for a married woman.

What can I do to get over this? I'm starting to think I need professional help (but I dont have that option right now, please dont suggest it) because I think I'm just dealing with it and ignoring it rather than just accepting it. Accepting it is something I have tried, Ive even tried asking him if I could get their number to talk to them (since we never see them around) and get to know them, just be friendly. But at one time he said I couldnt have anyones number, but now he says I can. When he said I couldnt the first time it really made me sad, here I am trying my hardest but it felt like he didnt care anymore. I just need to know how to get over this so we BOTH can be happy. I HaTE being so insecure about this. I wish I wasnt like this. Please help.

So, you seem to understand that it's not right to put those kinds of restrictions on your husband. He's married, not dead! It's not at all ridiculous and immature, though. Your marriage is new, you're young, and he's got these mystery women hanging around. You just need to get rid of the mystery.

You do need to get to know these female friends, but not over the phone or just by bumping into them.

Tell your husband that he has these friends, and if they're important to him that you want to get to know them. Try having one of them and their husband/boyfriend if they have one over for dinner or drinks. Just a low-key thing to help you get to know the girl and see her dynamics with your husband. Then you'll know that she has no bad intentions towards him and that she's not a threat. You'll feel a million times better.

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As I was browsing the internet I found a really offensive website that I absolutely hate. I can't stand that it is available for ANYONE to see and the content is just horrific. It isn't really anything illegal but it is still really, really offensive and degrading to certain invidivuals.

Is there a way I can get a website shut down or "closed" by somebody? Can I make a request some where for a website to be further investigated so that it might be closed down? Is there ANYTHING I can do other than block the website from my browser so that I don't run into it again? I really don't think it's material anybody should be viewing...

Unfortunately, unless it's targeting a particular individual (i.e. a website set up to pick on someone) or exploiting a minor, there's really nothing that can be done.

If it's either of the above, call your local police and they'll be able to refer you to the correct authorities to deal with it.

The internet is all about collaboration, free speech and the sharing of information. Just because one group may be offended by something another group is saying, it doesn't mean that everyone will be. Your best bet is to block it on your browser, assuming it isn't criminal.

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