about

I am 48 years old (yes that's old compared to some of you).


I have worked in nursing and/or healthcare management positions for 24 years. Primarily OB, Neonatal, Mental Health, Occupational Health and Geriatrics. In Jan 2008 I started my own business to board horses and do equine/human education. I am also a certified dog trainer.


I've been around the block so to speak and seem to be always helping others. I've been told that the reason people seek me out for advice is that I am approachable and caring. But on the same token even though I consider the person's feelings. I tell it like I see it. I've dealt with people in trouble with the law, dysfunctional families such as those with abuse & marriage problems. Not to mention problems with employees and employers.


I don't ever claim to know it all, and always keep an open mind.


advice

Hi Nallie,
I was hoping you could use your experience and compassion to answer my question. Well about 7 months ago I broke up with my bf. It was a long distance relationship that was on the rocks. My bf was being a jerk as usual and sort of forced me to end things with him. Normally in the past when we've fought I've always been the one to mend fences even though he was clearly being the one that was the jerk. He's a very passive, stubborn and immature man at age 45 and I'm 28 and have more maturity then he'll ever have. He also has difficulty expressing emotion whereas I'm very emotional. Anyways; in the last couple I"ve months I've been working on my self esteem and I'm even going back to university to work in rehabilitation; something I never would have done if I were still with him. Well I have not seen or talked to my ex in all this time. Recently my ex's best friend came into the store I work in. He was being very friendly and asked how my job was going; and then I told him with a big smile on my face that I was going back to university. Well then instead of saying how great that was he got this really shocked; worried look on his face. So my question for you is: based on his reaction- do you think my ex put him up to that? And if my ex wants me back do you think that would explain his friends reaction? Maybe he's worried that I've truly moved on with my life and that I would never go back to my ex. ( before I forget- his friend is married so if you think he may be talking to me because he's interested that's not the case)

Hi,
First off I'd like to say it's great that you have ended it with the "jerk". People like that rarely change and would continue to drain you of your self confidence if you let them.
The way I percieve his friend's reaction is...your ex has probably told his friend that you are lost without him. To make up for his own insecurities (and jerks are very insecure) he probably wants to believe that you will never be anything important without him. I bet he even told his friend that you want him back! Perhaps yes, your ex did put his friend up to checking in on you, but the friend had the belief that you would not be doing so well. So now the friend doesn't have the news to share with his friend that he had hoped for and the worried look was all about wondering "now what do I tell him?"

Just by reading your question I get the sense that you are very mature and sensitive. I hope that someday you find someone more like yourself that builds you up with out putting you down.

Best wishes

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(Rating: 5) Thankyou! I think you hit the nail on the head with that one. I remember my ex used to say things to make me feel like there was no one else out there better for me and without him I would end up a lonely unhappy woman. He even had the nerve to tell me last year that he hoped I wouldnt marry anyone from (where I live) after I caught the bridal bouquet at my cousins wedding; but yet he never even hinted he wanted to marry me! It serves him right- now his friend can tell him how awsome I'm doing and he'll feel like the biggest loser. He probably told his friend how depressed he thought I was- so the jokes on him! You're right I deserve better. Once again thanks!



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