about

"There's no other love like the love for a brother. There's no other love like the love from a brother." A lot has changed since I was in High-school and first created my column - almost 8 years ago!!!! I now have two gorgeous Boys who mean the World to me; Brody, who is 3 and a half years old, and Brayden, who will be a year in November. I live my life for these two Boys. They make every second worth it. xxoo ♥ ♥

advice

I'm a 13, almost 14 yearold girl, going into the 8th grade and I haven't had my first kiss yet. I have a lot of friends, girls and guys. But I rarely hangout with guys, girls more. One if m best friends has kissed a bunch of guys and she won't be 14 for another 6 months. I feel stupid cause I haven't had my first kiss yet. how can I get it? I want it, but I'm very nervous. What if I'm not good? But the question is, how do i get it? Please helpp! All advice and tips are goood! Thanks. :)

Just because your friends are doing it, doesn't mean you have to, too. Please, don't feel pressured to kiss some random guy just because your best friend had her first kiss already. Your first kiss should be special, not just something you need to do because someone else did it. Don't feel stupid because you haven't had your first kiss, either. There are MANY of people well into their 20's that still didn't have their first kiss. It'll come when you're ready, and it'll make that kiss that much more special, because you waited for the right guy.

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My brother and father have a problem with my boyfriend.I'm 13 and my boyfriend is 18, I don't see the problem here.My boyfriend is best friends with my brother, but my brother doesn't like the fact were dating.My dad doesn't think that i'm old enough for him.Me and my boyfriend aren't into anything sexual.What's the problem with us dating?

Your Father probably doesn't like the fact that his little girl is dating a much older man, someone who is friends with his Son. While your Brother is also in a bad spot, because his little sister is dating his best friend. How would you feel if you were put into that situation? You probably wouldn't feel too great about yourself.

18 year old boy's have no business being with a 13 year old. Both of you are in different points of your life. He's looking for random fun, while I'm sure, you aren't. Sorry, but when an 18 year old is with a 13 year old, it's usually only for one thing and one thing only...I'd just dump this guy and find someone your own age - someone you have something in common with and doesn't want just a one night fling.

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hey i'm the 12 year old girl with the 16 year old bf. alot my friends have really older boy friends.and they've had sex before. i'm really not sure what i should do? my friends are always talking abuot how they had sex. sometimes they would ask me if i've had sex with my bf and they know i'll say no. should i have sex with my bf?

You shouldn't feel like you should have sex with your boyfriend, just because your friends are doing it with theirs. You shouldn't have to feel pressured into something, especially having sex. That is a big decision and it should be for someone you love and care about. When you're ready for it, you'll know. But I don't think now is that time...

Your friends don't sound like they are being very nice friends, either. If they ask you every time (even though they know you haven't had sex), just to hear you say no, that's not being very friend like. A friend doesn't do that to someone. You should be very proud of yourself and the decisions you made, never let anyone tell you different. Follow what you think is right.

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17/F

I asked a few questions a while back about dealing with my overly shy boyfriend. Recap: He's super shy and he's a couple years younger, but he acts even older than I do sometimes. He knows when to be a kid and when to be an adult. Problem is, he doesn't seem to know how to act around me. He turns red and squirms when he has to kiss me or if he's sitting next to me on the couch.
And this is how I tried to solve it. I myself am shy, but I forced myself to overcome it today and invited him to a double date in town. I tried so hard to get him to talk and to order something to eat, but he wouldn't. He just smiled some of the time or laughs quietly as if he was stuck. I tried to urge a conversation about his job and about how life is, but he wouldn't go into it. I know guys draw the line at talking about certain things, so I avoided deep questions. Just normal questions. I really hate to say this, but I don't think this relationship is working out. And it's hurting me to even think about breaking up with him, but he won't discuss it. Should I just break up with him and ask to be friends or maybe keep trying? (He does seem to like me, but he's just too shy to do ANYTHING.)

If his shyness is holding him back from doing anything, I really don't see the point in trying with this relationship. You're trying way too hard to get him to open up and talk more. You both seem like two totally different people. If you tried to discuss things with him and he doesn't want to, how do you know he's even taking the relationship seriously?

I suggest having a serious talk with him. Explain to him that you really do have feelings for him, but with him being so shy and not even talk to your friends, that's a problem. You DO have to communicate in a relationship. If you can't talk to one another, what really do you have?

Hopefully he takes what you're saying seriously and tries to change. If not, just explain to him that you both really need some time by yourself and it would be best if you guys could just be friends.

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my bf want s sex i'm12 year old girl and he's 16 i'm not ready he would touch me and kiss my kneck. I would say stop but would say babe relax. i say stop he says ok but he always bugs me about sex and once he tried to take off my shirt. i love him but not sexually. what should i do?

If you aren't comfortable with what he is doing to you, tell him to stop. If he continues to bug you about this, I suggest leaving him. When you're telling him to stop and he "trying" to take your shirt off, that's pretty much rape. If YOU don't want to do something, you shouldn't do it. You're 12 and he is 16, that's a big different in age when you're that age. 16 year old boys only have one thing on their mind, and it isn't what 12 year old girls have on their mind.

I would kick this guy to the curb if I were you, and try to find someone more around your age. That way, you guys will both be on the same level in the relationship. A relationship shouldn't be all about sex...You deserve much more than this!

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Im in middle school and theres this guy im in love life with,the one day this stupid girl starts chatting with him for 2 days then i chatted with him and he seemed to love me more!Now theres a rumor going around that my crush loves this stupid girl!How can i deal with this? :/

I suggest moving on. If your crush isn't into you, there's no point in wasting your days wishing you were with him. Just move on and try to find someone else to crush on. You're only young once - Enjoy it!

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I made out with a guy at a party. He was fairly drunk and I was sober. He seemed fairly into me and asked for my number. I know how this usually goes and he didn't text or call and it's been two days....but he added me on facebook. What's the deal? Also, how long should someone wait to hear back from a guy before moving on from it?

Since he has you on Facebook, just wait a couple of days and see if he messages you. But if he doesn't say anything to you now, he probably won't be saying anything to you soon. I'd suggest just moving on. A guy like that isn't worth your time! You're much better than that!!

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hi im 14 and female.so i have 2 boyfriends now and please dont call me a slut or a whore cause i have 2 boys at the same time.i explain the story.i had a boyfriend (we will call him bf 1)and then on the last day of school after school my ex texted me and asked me out.i still liked him so i said yes.then i was trying to figure out how to get ahold of bf 1.i didnt know where he lived,his phone number,email,facebook,NOTHING.i had told him my facebook name and i didnt get a friend request from him.so now its getting close for school to start and i dont know what to say to him.i was thinking of saying we are over or avoiding him.Life is too difcult.Any Advice for Me?

I defiantly don't think you should avoid him. You should talk to him about this. Explain to him that you just don't have feelings anymore for him, and if he would like to, you guys could still be friends. There's not too much you can do besides that. If you like boyfriend2 as much as you say you do, be with him. But you HAVE to call it off with boyfriend1 as soon as possible. You should never mess around with someones feelings. :o)

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i have now discovered that even though girls say they want genuinely nice guys they chase after assholes, who do nothing but treat them badly. but why do girls still do it.

Girl's who do this are just craving for attention, in all the wrong ways, from a certain guy. They don't care if it's bad or negative attention, they just care that they're getting it.

Not all girls are like this. If you smart, you should know right from wrong, and you should know to never let a guy walk all over you. You're much better than that!

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I'm 17 and I get guys in their early to mid twenties hitting on me, but when I'm in school most guys just want to be my friend. I've had boyfriends but none lasted very long. There's this one guy that's been hitting on me since I was in middle school, he chased me down the street one time just to ask me how old I was and where did I live. He's friends with my brother and every time he comes to my house hes either staring at me or trying to flirt with me and I don't like him. He's 24 yrs old and he's been hitting on me since I was like 12. I was having a conversation with this one guy and he was 18 and I told him I was 17, he reacted with a holy sh*t. I don't dress slutty or wear make up and I don't understand why older guys hit on me or think that Im older than my age. So is it because I look older or because guys think I'm easy because I'm younger?

Honestly, it's probably a bit of both. Not too many older guys have "just going out" with a girl on their mind, there's usually some thing else that comes along with that. If he's older (especially that much older), he's probably in it for one reason, and one reason only. Especially if you're a virgin. Older guys tend to try to get girls younger than them, and once they do, it's just for some quick fun and then they up and leave. A 17 year old has nothing in common with a 24 year old. In my option, I'd stay away from him. Being friends would be alright, but nothing more. And don't let him pressure you into ANYTHING!

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theres this guy.. ha, typical right? well he told me he was going to ask me out but he wanted it to be perfect... he then flirted with my bestfriend. They were staying stuff like they wanted to go somewhere romanticc and that shit. Well i confronted him and he was so upset and we made up and all and everything was good... so i had my other bestfriend hit on him after a little bit he starting flirting back.. i KNOW this is horrible but i still like him and he still likes me and i dont know what to do.. i know if i became his girlfriend he'd be faithful (he never TOTALLY cheats)but i still dont trust him.

If you can't trust him now when you guys aren't even in a relationship, how are you going to trust him when you are? It's a big blow to the head when he's going around flirting with your "best friends". Do your "best friends" flirt back with him, and do they know you're crushing on the guy? If they do, they aren't be very good friends in the first place. Friends SHOULD NOT flirt with other friends crushes, that's just wrong and down right hurtful.

If you want to take a chance, and go for it since he hasn't really "cheated" on you since you guys aren't together. Maybe he would be different if you guys were in a relationship. Try it, but keep your wall up, just in case something does happen, you won't be so crushed about it.

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In your personal opinion, do you belive it's ok for a 13 year old girl who is trustworthy and gets excellent grade to have a boyfriend?

I think as long as you are mature about it, yes. It's just a part of growing up.

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i like this guy and my friend likes him to but she told me to go for if..
but then when i tryed she got mad..even tho she didnt to me befor...what should i do ? :o

She obviously doesn't want you going out with him. A lot of people will say something, when really deep down, they mean differently. I suggest finding another boy to start crushing on and trying to get over your current crush. No guy is worth losing a friend over.

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19/f

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about two years and haven't had many problems at all. But just a few days ago, we got into an argument about how I feel he doesn't really care for me the same anymore.

That night, I had a dream that we were still dating, but he had taken me to the mall so I could see an old friend. In my dream I was sad and had really been missing him, so I went up and gave him a big hug and we started talking and it was wonderful, and then I woke up.

Then yesterday night, I was with my boyfriend and we started to kiss a little, and then he told me to leave. It made me really mad. When I got home I didn't even talk to him.

But then when I fell asleep I had another dream about the same guy from the other night. This time we were alone, and he had just gotten home from this big trip and I hugged him and then he kissed me. The weird part was, I liked it. I liked it more than I like my boyfriend kissing me. In my dream I was so happy and it was like...fireworks!

What does this mean???

It sounds to me like you're loosing interest in your current boyfriend. If you're are enjoying a kiss in a dream from a certain boy, that's a direct hint right there. You are only 19 years old. So if you feel like you aren't enjoying yourself or you feel like the relationship is nothing compared to how it was, end it before you can't. You shouldn't mess with someones feelings. If you're into someone more than the person you are with, you shouldn't be in a relationship. So, either figure out what you want and talk to him about it/try to work everything out, or go your separate ways. Best of luck in whatever you decide!

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i need a new girlfreind what do i do?

You don't NEED a girl friend. Go out and have fun with your friends!

By the way, no girl is going to go out with a guy that NEEDS a girl friend this badly. You should WANT to be with the girl you like, not need to be...

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Hi, i've been dating my boyfriend for almost 9 months now, and we're very serious. We've talked about marriage and living together forever, and i've never been so sure about being with someone. We may be young but i know for a fact that i could be with him forever.

Anyways, my problem is, my two worst enemies are both his most obsessive ex girlfriends. multiple times have i caught him still talking/flirting with other girls including them, but also not on just his part, they're also the ones who engage. it's been months since something like this has happened, but recently when i was away he was at a party and one of the girls happened to be there. rumors started to spread and there was a bunch of he said she said. but now i know for a fact that he was talking to her and offering her a ride home and trying to hang out with the other girl as well. i told him the last time something like this happened that this time, we were over and there was nothing he could do to stop it. but when we were talking about it, after he picked me up from work, i told him we were over and i was going to get his stuff so he could take it back. but he chased after me and grabbed a hold of me and told me how much i meant to him and he literally couldnt live without me. he was bawling his eyes out and said earlier that day when i texted him and told him we were over and that i didnt even want to see him that he sat down at work and cried his eyes out. i've never seen him so upset before, i didn't know what to do. so i just decided to lay it off for now. but i feel like im betraying myself and im disappointed that i couldnt follow through on my word..

sorry if this is too long, i just want to know what anyone else would do in this sort of situation if they truly love someone as much as i love him...and if you think i'm making the right decision by staying with him. thank you very much for any replies, its greatly appreciated

First of all, how old are you? That would help out a lot, too.

Honestly, from what you're telling me about your boyfriend, he doesn't sound like he's being a good one. You guys been together for 9 months and like you said, you're both very serious about the relationship; you want to get married and live together. While he's telling you this, he's out flirting/trying to hangout with his ex girl fiends. Now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with still being friends with your ex's. But, when you're flirting with them and trying to bring them home, when you already have a girlfriend who you "love are care about", there is something wrong. You don't mess around with peoples feelings, especially when you're so in love with him. I highly suggest having a serious talk to him. Let him know everything; tell him how you're feeling about him and his ex's, how he's always flirting with them and wanting to hangout with them. Tell him how uncomfortable it makes you feel and that you wish he would change. Explain to him that this is the last and final chance he will be getting, for he can't mess with your feeling anymore. You don't deserve what he is doing to you. There are many guys out there that is all about that one special girl, and when you find him, he won't be doing what this guy is doing to you, he'll be treating you like a Princess...and that's what you need.

EDIT: Since you gave him so many chances, he should defiantly know what he should/can't do. He should respect the fact that you don't want him around those two girls, and if he doesn't, you're better off without him. :o)

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I'm fourteen. My boyfriend is sixteen. We've been dating for about three and a half months.

He has mono...

Mono can last like five months or longer... Am I really supposed to not kiss my boyfriend for five months???? :( please help.

I hate to break it to you sweetie, but yes, you do in-fact have to STOP kissing him. He has Mono. It's highly contagious. If you don't want the change of catching it, I suggest not kissing him...it's though, but it's a must.

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my boyfriend and i have been dating for a little over four months. i thought we were happy, but recently i found out he doesn't know what he wants anymore or whether he's even happy. in the beginning, we used to talk for hours on end. gradually things changed. he's never had a serious relationship before and i think that maybe he's afraid to be a part of one. when we're together, things are really good... but it seems like the closer we get, the farther he wants to push me away. i really care about him and his happiness. i suggested a break so he would have time to sort his thoughts and feelings. if you have questions, so you can get a better understanding, let me know. otherwise, what is your take on this? he's really sweet and he's a good guy.

You defiantly need to talk to him more about the relationship. You obviously care about him and want this to work and he needs to know that. You said you suggested a break to him, what was his responds to that?

EDIT: Do you think a break is what you both really need? Do you think it will solve the problems with your relationship or just make things worse? If he's not happy in the relationship, there's no point in being in it; you're only hurting yourself by keeping him. Sometimes people drift apart for reasons. Just because something ends, doesn't mean it IS the end. When one door closes, another opens, and that's very true. Maybe you should just move on and try your luck with different guys? You have all the time in the world to settle down - have fun first!

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Im the guy who asked this

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=577346

Well i told her finnaly... i didnt have the balls to do it in person which im really kicking my self over so dont give me no stick for it.

she didnt take it well :(
i think she got attached too quickly, she came over today for the last time to collect her dvd's that she left over here. not that i didnt feel terrible before but now i feel even worse because it was a quick smile not even a hi. then a see ya and she turned and left. I wanted to talk to her but once again i was too much of a damn coward to even ask that... she seems really upset over this and i feel terrible. i cant go back on what i said because i just dont feel it for her but i still want to be good freinds because shes a great person to be around. I hate that iv made her unhappy and theres not alot i can do about it.

what do i do? i cant just forget it can i? People say i care too much for others, is this one of those things i shouldnt be involved in any more?

if you havent seen my first question plz give it a quick look over :) thanks for all your help so far guys you'v not done me wrong ever

Personalty, I think you should just forget about it. Sometimes people care too much. You shouldn't care about others who aren't willing to care for you in return. If she wants out of your life, let her be and move on. You're only young once and have all the time in the world for relationships and girls, trust me! Go out and have fun with the guys. Live life first, then settle down.

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I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half and we're kind of in a rut when it comes to hanging out and running out of things to do. What are some (not super expensive) date ideas?

We've done the usual hanging at houses, renting/going to movies, eating out, mall, etc to death.

Do you guys have any games you enjoy playing together?
Maybe even go out bowling one night?
You could try hanging out with groups of friends, or even make a double date night, if any of your friends have partners.
Do crafts, scrapbooking, picture frames of every memory you both have with one another.

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