ask MelLeDisko



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Hi, my names Melanie.
I'm fifteen years old.
I love fashion, hanging out with my friends,
and drawing and writing along with a bunch of other stuff.
I used to have an old account here that was quite known for awhile,
but I sort of just lost touch with it,
so I decided to make a new one.
I'll try and help you the best I can,
just hopefully I didn't lose touch with my good advice, haha.
And feel free to IM me with your problem too.
I also put my myspace in a link down below,
if you ever want to add me & talk.
But incase you don't see it or something, it's:


www.myspace.com/themelinat0r
Website: my myspace!
E-mail: melledisko@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Pittsburgh
Occupation: student.
Age: 15
AIM: mel le disko
Member Since: July 2, 2006
Answers: 1503
Last Update: August 9, 2008
Visitors: 47237

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So, I'm not a huge fan of PDA (public displays of affection). I just don't enjoy seeing other people kissing all the time in public and i'm not totally comfortable doing that myself.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 10 months now and i just don't like the PDA.

My friend and her boyfriend are always kissing and stuff and I just think it look trashy. And if i ever say how i feel to my friend shes just like well your not affectionate with your bf. And we are, i love to be affectionate. i just dont like to be in public.

I mean I don't mind holding hands, putting arms around eachother, hugging and a peck to say goodbye. But I feel that should be all. Is this normal?
(link)
This is completely normal. Alot of people, including myself, feel this way. I mean sometimes a semi-long kiss is alright every now and then, but not full-on make out session. Numerous amounts of couples in my schools are like that - I'll be walking down the hallway to my next class and I'll turn the corner and there'll be two people making out right in my face, tongue and all. I'm just like thinking,"Mk, I'm gonna just goooo arounddd..."

The next time your friend makes any remarks about you and your boyfriend not being affectionate, I'd just simply reply,"We are too affectionate, just in our own way. Me and [his name] don't like making out infront of everyone. We prefer to save it for whenever we're alone. It makes it more romantic." Or something along those lines.

It's good you and your boyfriend aren't like this. It shows people it's more than just making out and hooking up with someone, that you two really do like eachother.

I hope I helped.


what are you (link)
what am i?


what is the greates kind of love on this world (link)
I can't really answer that seeing as how personally, I've never been in love so I haven't been experienced in that area.

But love's different for all types of people. Whenever it happens to you, you'll figure out what you think is the greatest kind of love in this world.


Okay, so this boy.. he likes me. He used to go with one of my friends. Well, really we just got good friends.. but I didn't know they were going out untill like a week ago.. I really want to go out with him, yet again... I don't want to do that to a friend. But, we're not like best budz for life.. or anything, we're just like..friends. Soo..would I be wrong for going out with him... Should I just leave him alone,?..and go fetch some other fishes in the sea? (link)
Well first I would talk to your friend. Let her know that you've developed feelings for him and you know the two of them used to date and you don't want to try anything with him if you know it's going to make her uncomfortable [ this shows your a good friend and you respect her and everything and are considering her feelings in the matter whereas most girls wouldn't ]. See what she says.

If she says she's fine with it, then go for it & good luck! :]


If she says she's uncomfortable with it, then tell her you understand and don't try and make a move on him. Of course talk to him and everything still, just don't give him hints that you like him and everything. She may be uncomfortable because she might still like him a little or feel he's her "property" of some sort, so try and get her to set her new sights on another guy and see what happens then. Obviousyl, don't make your plan of making her like another guy obvious, but just point out to her all the cute guys there are in the area next time you two hang out at the mall or somewhere, and see what happens later.


I hope I helped.


I Cant Get Over This Boy . I Did Everything You Told Me Too . But I Cant Get Over Him . (link)
You might need to resend me the question you sent to me before so I can re-read the situation. I can't really tell you what to do as of now because I don't remember the conflict or whatever was going on between the two of you.


So please send me the old message you sent me if you still have it saved somewhere or something.

:/

I'm sorry I can't remember, I get lots of similar situations so it's hard to remember one from the other.


yeah thnx, but im not sure though im afraid that since its been almost a week since he said that to me well what if he thinks i like him back, which i do, but I dont want him to know, im afraid he only wants us to become friends with benefits =( (link)
um, i'm sorry but you're going to need to re-send me your old question cause i get tons of questions so i'm not too sure what your talking about.


well i have this one guyfriend, well we're buddies,he hugs me a lot i would say too much, which i think its kind of weird, well this past friday he said that he was attracted to me in some way. I did not know what to do so i didnt say anything, the worst part is that he has a girlfriend and she talks to me, I feel really bad!... my question is what should I do and how do I know if he was telling me the truth about what he feels for me?? (link)
The next time you're talking to him ( in whichever way you're most comfortable talking to him; phone, IM, or in person ) then just be like,"Hey, I have a question about what you told me this past Friday. Whenever you said you were attracted to me... is that true?" And see what he says. Whenever he answers "Yes", cause I'm pretty sure he will, then I would have a serious talk with him about it.

I would just be like,"Oh, well I just don't understand how you like me whenever you have a girlfriend. What about her? She's really nice, and she talks to me, so whenever I think of this it makes me feel really bad. :/" ( or whatever you want to say ) And just see what he answers back and talk it out with him.

I hope I helped.


ok
14/m
i'm going to a party on saturday after i get back from vacation, and my ex girlfriend is going to be there. we were together for 4 months, and i absolutely loved her. we broke up about a week and a half ago. she's going with this guy that is apparantly the reason we broke up, and its REALLY pissing me off. i thought about bringing this really pretty friend i have to make my ex jealous, but she's already busy on saturday. so what should i do? i definitely want to go to the party, but i don't know what to do about the fact that she's going to be there with that guy...

thanks guys
Sam (link)
You can always bring another cute girl friend of yours, can't you? Or if you know another cute girl that's going to be there at the party already, then just start talking to her there and be sure to give her a big hug & all.

But if you can't find a girl, just go. Don't let your ex-girlfriend ruin your fun. Just ignore her and enjoy the time you're spending with the person who invited you and everyone else that's there. If she tries to introduce him to you, play it off and act like you're cool and say hi. And then you can just go back to doing whatever you want. Just try your best not to even think about her and remember that she's there. I know it's going to be really hard but just try your best to forget, and really have fun. :] It's kind of like a double whammy there, too. You have fun and then whenever she sees how much fun you're having and all the socializing you're doing she might get a little jealous/hurt that you're not more hurt that she dumped you.


I hope I helped.


plz help me. how do u makeout???? idk how (link)
neither do i. i've never done it either, so i'm just as lost as you are about it.


the most help i can give you is to either google it up because there are loads of "how to kiss" etc. kind of sites that'll give you some good tips and what not to do's and everything, but if you don't want to do that, then the only other option i can think of is to try and ask someone else. i'm sorry i couldn't be of more help.

instead of privately asking one advicenator, make the question to all of them so you can get different answers from different people and see what one you like best.


okay so i hang out with a lot of guys. but i cant really help it. i just get along better with guys. girls start too much drama and i hate drama. so some girls at my school think im a whore and are startin rumors that im doin stuff with all the guys i hang out with and that im cheatin on my boyfriend. but thats so not true. these guys are like my brothers. i wouldn't do anything with them. and i would never cheat on my boyfriend! he means the world to me. and he understands that i have a lot of guy friends and he's okay with it. he knows i wouldn't do anything with any of them. but i dont want that kind of rumor about me to spread. i mean. everyone at school knows im not like that. and my boyfriend and all my friends were like dont worry about it, they are just jealous that all the guys talk to you and not them. but idk. what do you think? (link)
Your boyfriend and your friends are totally right. All these girls are just jealous that you're friends with all these guys & that you can talk to them all so easily, and they can't. They probably have to try & fight for the guys's attention.

Who cares what these girls think? You said so yourself, that's all they do is cause drama, and rumors come & go. Next week it'll be something else someone did that's spreading around the school. All you have to remember is that they can open their mouths and say all they want, in the end you still got all of the guys on your side, and they're probably not looking too good to the guy's right now cause they're just a bunch of dramatic idiots.

I hope I helped.


ok so i have a problem i REAALLLLY like this boy named damon... and he works with my brother.... and he goes to my school he is on the varsity basketball team... and he just broke up with his girlfriend.... but the problem is i feel like an idiot if i talk to him... and it just seems like im gonna make a fool of myself and i cant ever think of anything to talk to him about.... i am a girl and im 15 and he is a boy and is 16... he is in my grade and i see him alot in the halls.... and i help out the varsity basketball coach so i see him even more then if i didnt.... and ive even gotten so desperate as to talk to the coach about him.... but he just says that i need to talk to him but i just cant ever think of anything to say without thinking to myself that i am stupid.... PLEASE HELP ME!!!! (link)
It's completely normal to think you're goign to mess up, you're just nervous, it's totally fine. Just try your best to talk to him ; take deep calm breaths, and just relax. If he's on the varsity basketball team, there's already something to talk to him about! Compliment him on the good game they played last night, or tell him that was a good shot he made during practice. And then continue on about school, maybe like other classes or some horrible test you two had to take, and try and just continue the conversation onto other interests he may have.

Even if you do mess up, laugh. He'll understand, I mean, we're all just human, we're bound to mess up. It may turn up to become an icebreaker and a joke to start off with for the next time you two start talking.



I hope I helped!


okay well i'm 13 & the guy i like is 16. is that bad?? like he gives me signs that he likes me too but all my friends are going "laura, he's 16." & i go "so?". i just want to know if that is too much of an age difference. (link)
No, it's not a huge age difference at all. I mean think what if you two were like 40 or so? you'd only be 40 when he'd be 43. That doesn't sound that bad now, does it? Most parents have a couple years apart from eachother.

It just seems huge because 13 is the youngest age for a teenager, whereas 16 seems alot older - you can drive and you got alot of priviliges. Plus, whenever kids think ages, they associate them with grades too. So they think a seventh grader dating a tenth or eleventh grader sounds like a huge deal, but it's not.

Me and my boyfriend are like, two years apart. He's going to college next year, and I still got two years of highschool to go.

And who cares what your friend say anyways? You like him and that's all that should matter. They should just be happy for you.

I hope I helped.


So im the type that always gives all my friends advice and now im the one in need.

My boyfriend and I had a fight 2 days ago.
And he emailed me saying he loved me and he was sorry.
And i dont want to lose him.
But im scared maybe this might be it.

what do i do?
I need him. (link)
If he apologized and told you he loves you, it sounds like he needs you just as much as you need him. And if you don't want to lose him, why end it?

Now I don't know how bad the fight was or what it was about or anything, but if it was that bad, maybe sit down and have a talk with him about it and try and resolve it calmly without fighting. And it'd be best to do this with every bad situation that comes your way so there's no fighting and yelling and breaking up.

But whenever you guys go to apologize, it's best to do it in person so you can truely see how sorry they are and hear their tone and everything. It's just the better thing to do. It shows more respect, also. So if this situation ever WAS to occur again ( hopefully it won't ), then you & him should apologize to eachother in person.

I hope I helped.


Okay, so I'm a 14 year old female. There's this guy in one of my classes, and he's a junior. Since the beginning of the year, he has always paid "special attention" to me, like teasing me and stuff. I even recall a while back in October-ish, I was walking in the hallway afterschool, l and he was with his friend, and he stopped to talk to me.
Now, he's always like looking at me in class, especially when I talk to any guys. But I don't know if I'm just imagining the signs or if he teases me just to look cool in front of his friends. Or maybe he's just a friendly guy.

Oh, let me add some more details about us, I guess. I gave him a present over christmas break (it was just a card lol) and he seemed to really like it, he had this big smile on his face. And he's always telling me how nice I look. Also, I'm the girl he talks most to in class (this isn't much though, because there arent a lot of other girls in the class and all the girls are freshmen) I expect HIM to tell ME if he likes me or not, because he's a junior, and if I say no to him (which I wouldnt), it shouldnt be a big blow to his ego. But he keeps on dropping hints that he likes me as something..more. That's where I'm getting confused. Luckily there's a winter formal coming up on the 9th that he can ask me to AND valentine's day 5 days later. Think I should ask him to the dance? (sorry, that turned out much longer than I planned it to).
Thanks for reading :3 (link)
It sounds to me like he likes you! Whenever it comes to guys and giving signs, they always tend to make it confusing, don't they, haha? But whenever guys tend to tease a girl and if he's always complimenting you and having a big smile on his face ; it def. sounds to me like he's interested. Just think of this though first: is he a huge flirt? Does he flirt with alot of girls? Because if then, you might want to reconsider where you want to go with this guy. Guys like this could cheat, and you wouldn't want your boyfriend flirting with other girls, would you? Also, there's the fact that he could be just leading you on. But I'm just putting that out there ; this guy doesn't sound the type ; he sounds interested. :]


Anyways, I'm rambling now, haha. I would totally invite him to the dance! Just the next time you two are talking ( maybe privately would be better ; not when like a bunch of his friends are in the conversation too ), just be like,"Hey, you going to that winter formal dance?" And if he says yes, just be like,"Oh, you going with anybody?" And see what he says. If he says yes, then just be like,"Oh, well, save me a dance? :]" But if he says no, just casually be like,"Well, I was wondering..if you'd like to go with me. You're a really cool and fun guy and I think we'd have a great time." And smile. If he does turn you down ( which I doubt! ), just tell him it's no big sweat, cause it really isn't. Sure it sucks, but you can still have fun @ the dance with your friends, and it'd be his loss anyway at a great time.

Just don't get discouraged if he doesn't ask you to the dance ; HE might be nervous and worried that you're going to say no! Even though guys always seem to be the ones who ask the girls out, and are cool & calm about it, they're really just as nervous as we are.



Good luck & have fun at the dance!


22/f

Not sure if this is the right category so I am putting it in both

Ok I love my friends to death. But they can be real pain in the butt sometimes. I found out my friend *Carl has a major crush on me. He is sweet and nice but just not my type.Physically and mentally. I have made this clear that there is no way of us getting together. My best friend *Sally is always trying to get us by ourselves. Like going to get things just me and him or always sitting by him. It is annoying. Also I feel like it is leading him on which is wrong. What do i do? It makes me uncomfortable ever since I found out about it Do I try to find someone else to get them off my back?... like that is an easy task by itself. (link)
I would sit down with your friend and have a serious talk. Explain to her once more ( in a more serious tone to show you mean business ), that you don't have those feelings for Carl, and never will. He's just NOT your type, and forcing him on you isn't going to make you like him more or anything, it's only going to make you more annoyed.

Tell her you appriciate her trying to help you get a guy and stuff, but you can do it yourself. It'd just be easier for you to find a guy because who knows you better than yourself? You'd be able to find your type easier than she would.

Also, I would just talk to Carl and keep it at a friendly level. Maybe mention something sometime during a conversation,"I love having a guy friend I can just talk to. Most of my guy friends never want to talk or nothing, ha. It's nice." ( Or something like that ). Just get the point across that you're glad he's your friend and everything, which'll give him the hint there's nothing more going to go on.

I wouldn't try and find someone else just to get someone else off your back. That's unfair to the person ( who may have feelings for you ) if you're just being with them to get others off your back, and it'd be unfair to you because you should find someone you want to be with.

I hope I helped.


Ok, a while back, i had one of my friends ask the boy i like if he knew who i was. We didnt really know eachother but i wanted to know if he knew who i was or not. He said yes. Then a couple weeks later a different friend of mine told him that i liked him and she asked him if he knew me. I dont why she asked him this again when i already knew but o well. Anyways, he said he didnt know me. The fist time he said he did know me and then when he found out that i liked him he said he didnt know me. Does that mean he dosent like me? (link)
He probably knows of how you are, but whenever he says he doesn't "know you", he might mean personally. He just means he can't really see if he likes you or not because he doesn't know your personality and everything. This is why you should try getting to know him better. :] Next time you're near him, make conversation ; say hi. If any of your friends are friends with him, make a hang out together. That way you can hang with him, but it won't just be the two of you alone and it will be more comfortable.

Just show him the real you and find out the real him and just get to know eachother better. Crack a few jokes, ask him his interests, hobbies, etc. And just show him how great you are!



I hope I helped.


my guy friend goes to a different school. he was supposed to go to the dance with this other girl but those plans fell through. i was thinking if he still wanted to go, i could get him a ticket. but maybe his plans fell through cause he didn't want to go??? i don't want to be turned down, but should i ask him anyways? i think it would be fun if he came. what should i say to him? (link)
The next time you're talking to him, I would just casually bring it up and be like,"Hey, remember how you were supposed to go with _____? Why did those plans fall through, didn't you want to go anymore?" ( See what he says, hopefully it's no ). And then just be like,"Oh well cause I was just thinking I think it'd be fun if maybe we went together, and if you still wanted to go I could get you a ticket and everything, I just didn't know if that's why those plans fell through, is if you didn't want to go." And just see what he says.

If he does turn you down, it's no biggie. Just go still and have lots of fun with your friends. Sure it'd be fun to go with a guy, but it's not going to ruin the whole time. :] You can still have a blast.

I hope I helped.


15/f

When a guy asks you to see a movie, does that necessarily mean it is a date? What if he is bringing one of his friends but doesn't care if you bring someone?

I suppose I am going to get different answers, but I'm sure there must be a way to figure it out.

Thanks! =) (link)
Hm, this is a toughie.

These kinda actions are one of those "it could mean either or" kinds of things.

Whenever a guy and girl usually go see a movie together and there's flirting and such involved ( maybe he even pays? ) that would be considered a date.

Even though if you typically invite other people along, it wouldn't be much of a date anymore. But guys always do the "wingman" thing. They invite a pal along to make them less nervous and to try and make conversation if there's the chance he's lacking in it. The wingman just makes the whole night a little less stressful, because he could be very nervous.

It would really depend on how the date went/goes. If he flirted/flirts with you and you flirt back and he might even offer to pay for your food or your ticket and he's being a gentleman and making conversation and showing interest, it sounds totally like a date to me!

But if it's just inviting a few pals along and cracking some jokes here and there, then it sounds just like a friendly sort of thing.

The only true way you'll ever get to know is if you just ask him, or maybe ask his friend. Just think back on the night after it happens, or think of it now if it already did and just try and think of maybe some slight flirtng or anything he might've done to show it was more than just a hang out thing.

I hope I helped.


My friends really make me mad! They say that if I bring my boyfriend to the dance that there not going to go. Thing is, I really like him a lot and we have been dating for like 4 months now. Should I let what they say affect my decision or not. Im so confused and I feel like crying!! Nothing even happened between them. They just do not like him. I asked them why and they said they dont know why but they just dont like him. (link)
Well right now you're "friends" are not being very good friends at all. They should just be happy for you. You found a guy that makes you smile and makes you happy, and they should be glad you have someone in your life like that ( that may be a reason actually they're acting this way - sometimes girls get jealous when their friends have boyfriends and they don't ).

I would sit down and talk with them. And once more, ask them what it is exactly they don't like about him. Whenever they answer they don't know, then just be like "Exactly. Why not give him a chance, then? See him and talk with him and get to know him. If you still don't like him, at least this time you'd have some sort of reason after getting to know him. But really guys, why aren't you happy for me? He makes me happy, isn't that all that should matter? Don't let his and mine relationship get in the way of you guys going to the dance."

If they were really good friends, they'd at least give him a chance and get to know him better and see that he really isn't a bad guy at all.

And even if you guys all do go to the dance, they don't all have to talk to eachother or anything. They can enjoy themselves and have fun with you seperately. You just might have to split a little time between your friends and boyfriend. This also is true with real life. It's not like they have to talk or hang out together. You can make time for the both of them. Maybe have Saturday your "hang out with friends" day, and Friday your "boyfriend day" or whatever works best with them and you. But it really shouldn't have to be that way, but if that's the only solution that's left, you might as well take it cause you shouldn't have to choose between them or anything.

But like I said, confront them and see what happens and see if they're really gonna be willing to give him another shot. If they were good friends, they would. And they'd already be happy for you.


I hope I helped.


last night i had some friends over and one of them took my fone and text my ex saying "i love you" now i dunno if he got it or not because he never answered but how am i supposed to explain that to him? he's not gonna believe that someone else wrote it, hes rather cocky and still thinks i have feelings for him, which i kinda do but thats besides the point. What should i do? (link)
If he doesn't talk about it, and you don't talk about it, whose to say it ever happened, right? Just ignore it and pretend like you don't know what's going on. If he was to come up to you someday and ask you about the text message, be like,"Text messasge, what're you talking about? What day did "I" send it to you?" And look at the date and be like,"... I never sent that to you. But. I had ____ sleeping over that night..." And explain to him that you didn't send it, and she must've.


But seriously, if you can't even tell the guy the truth, and no matter what you say, he still doesn't believe you, just let the guy go with it. If he wants to be a cocky idiot and think every girl adores him, let him. Just tell him,"Fine, you won't believe me, think I love you. Have fun with that lie." And just forget about it. Who cares what he thinks? You know what really happened, and everybody else knows too.

I hope I helped.




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