Where do I start? My mother divorced my step-father about two years ago. After she became involved with his best friend, the situation turned nasty. Currently, they are not on speaking terms.
About eighteen months ago, my mother also suffered a massive stroke, causing temporary brain damage as well as temporary paralysis. Her doctors call her recovery "miraculous," but she is less than thrilled. She tires easily, has trouble with stairs, and sometimes can not complete her own sentences.
A few months ago she left her boyfriend, and was forced to move in to her mother's house, where I also currently live. (I am twenty-two.)
She has regrets concerning the divorce, concerning her ex-boyfriend, and hates living in her mother's house. (They both have very strong personalities, and tend to clash often.) Her self-esteem is at an all time low, she feels like a child or invalid since her stroke. (She is also pre-menopause, and therefore extremely emotional.)
I have tried to provide as much emotional support as possible. I have told her that I believe she will fully recover, but that she has to work at it (something she keeps making excuses not to do.) I try to spend time with her, I try to listen and understand her problems. I try to boost her self-esteem.
I want her to be healthy. I want her to be happy. I want to be a loving and patient daughter. But my patience is wearing thin...
I find it harder and harder every day to spend time with her. I find it harder and harder every day to listen and understand. I feel guilty, as if what I am feeling is wrong...
I know that ultimately, only she can heal herself and make herself happy. I know that the relationship between her and my grandmother can only improve when they both a make an effort to listen and understand each other. But I still feel responsible for their happiness in some way. Like I should be contributing to it.
But I'm tired of contributing. I feel more like...Well, more like they are all making terrible messes, and I'm always the one that has to clean them up. I'm the one that has to play peace-maker and dry their tears.
And I am so tired...Is it wrong for me to feel this way? Am I really just an angry, selfish, immature twenty-something, as I have been suspecting all along? Is there something I could be doing to help that I haven't done all ready?
I don't mean to whine so, I just wanted to know...Honestly, is it natural to feel this way?
I can't blame you for feeling that way at all. You've been working so hard, and seeing little progress. Who wouldn't be frustrated? You've been trying your best, but you can only do so much. If it gets to the breaking point, it would not be selfish of you to take an extreme measure, such as moving out. It may take something of that magnitude to make them realize their mistakes. Only then can they reconcile with you and each other. At this point, I don't think sitting and having a talk will do much good. You need to practically force them to see your emotional stress.
You are not solely responsible to keep this family together. You are doing more than your part. So, let off some slack and make them realize what's really going on. It will take time, there will be emotional strains, but how would that be any different than now?
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Hey! Im looking into seeing broadway shows, i love watching them and i was wondering if anyone had some they'd like to recomend!?
THanks a lot!
Well, when I went to New York, I had the privilege of going to see Phantom of the Opera. It was the greatest thing I've ever seen in a theatre of any sort. Now, with the movie of it being out, it's popularity has grown. I hear the movie is a lot like the play, so if you like the movie, you'll like the play. (And vice versa.)
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Okay... i am 14.. and I was just wondering how old do people think is TOO OLD??
Well, I would say that 14 is too old to be breast fed. But I doubt that is what you're asking.
In fact, what ARE you asking?
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A man of Power
What power?
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I hate to go to work and it interuupts with my school. Is there any way for me to make money form the internet? Is there a way that i can work at home from my computer? It does not have to be a lot of money.
eBay is good. I buy used games very cheaply from a shop around here, and resell them for a little more than I bought them for.Sometimes I find something rare, and the game I just paid $4 for, made me $25.
Find a deal like that. Something cheap that you know could sell for more.
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Does anyone know where I can get a used drum set in good condition???For under $300
eBay has been suggested ad infintum, but I seriously would not consider it. You can't personally take a look at the drums, play them and get a feel for them, and decide in what condition they are before you buy them. Plus, shipping would be a bitch...I'd imagine you'd have to get it shipped piece by piece, which is a large hassle and quite expensive.
There is no way you can get a drum set for under $300. You should shoot for something more around $600, because that's usually about as low as it gets. The drum set I have was $600, and it's fairly decent. The only reason that it was so cheap, was that the guy who owned it didn't make his payments on it, and it was repossessed. That being said, your best bet is to go to music shops in your area, and see if they have any deals like that. In my case, they didn't have that drum set out on display. People normally don't want to buy things with a reputation like that. The set was in the back, and we had to specifically ask if they had anything like it. Failing that, check the classified ads in the paper. Someone may be trying to sell a set there, and they usually go decently cheap.
Keep on drummin.
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How did you get your column to have K' for your name and say things for the advice column buttons and the others? It looks cool.
I edited the HTML myself, using my own style called "K'-Land". If you want to create your own style, I believe you have to be a paid member, meaning you need to send the site $10 through Paypal.
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I think K' gives awesome advice and to those who think other wise you all can go fuck yourselves.
Please, please, let me know if I may bear your children. It would be a privilege; nay, an honor, to do so.
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Next week im flying to Hawaii alone in an aircraft, but i have a phobia for planes and i don't want to panic during the flight or cry. I can go on airplanes thats not a problem but im just scared. Does anyone know how to get rid of the phobia
A phobia, by definition: "A persistent, abnormal, and irrational fear of a specific thing or situation that compels one to avoid it, despite the awareness and reassurance that it is not dangerous."
In other words, you can't really be RID of it...it's a psychological thing. The best thing you can do is meditate and take your mind off it. According to definition, you cannot convince yourself there is no danger, even when you know there isn't. Just try to focus on something else.
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Are you mentally retarded? Do you not have a life, it's too bad that question wasn't directed to you. Stupid fugly sped.
The question was directed to the pool, therefore, yes, it was directed to me. I've been on this site, what, 5 months? With my amount of answers, I answer an average of less than 2 questions a day. That's right, according to statistics, I have no life for I spend all my time on this site. I wake up at 6 in the morning, masturbate, read the site for 3 hours, eat, masturbate again, cruise the site for 6 hours, take a shit, masturbate, read the site for 4 hours, actually answer a question, masturbate, eat, then read for another 4 hours, masturbate, and go back to bed. You've figured me out. Oh nos, what shall I do?
As for mental retardation, yes, in fact, I am. The only reason I have a job is because my company is required to have at any given time at least 3 mentally retarded people on staff. I'm just helping to fill the quota. I'm assistant manager only because my boss wants to give the illusion that he gives a damn, which obviously he does not.
God, I love you people!
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You suck at trying to give crappy advice. Why don't you just stop? Your making yourself look stupid.
I know I suck at giving crappy advice. That's why I usually give good advice. And when I don't, it's because I am making fun of the person for asking a stupid question. Ya bastard.
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I really love my boyfriend, but hes scaring me. He keeps saying "it would be better if i was gone" & he keeps talking suicidal. Other times hes not though. I keep telling him to stop talking about it cuz its scaring me. He says "sorry I'll quit" but then he does it again. He says he wont kill himself cuz he cares too much about me & I was thinking, if we do ever break up, whats he gonna do then? Sometimes I think hes saying stuff for attention. I dont know what to do, I might not be able to do anything, but any advice would be appreciated.
All you can really do is ignore it tastefully the best you can, and be there for him. Should the idea of breaking apart arise, do NOT let his suicidal tendencies get in the way. It's a very common way to get someone to keep from breaking up with you. And should he go to the extreme and actually kill himself (note: this won't happen) it would not be your fault. Anyone who kills themself under such circumstances didn't quite have all the wires connected up there in the first place.
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I have a list of names that I like a lot. For my kids. *(I've always loved names, and making them up, and stuff)* Im Almost 15, and wont be having kids for atleast 7 more years, but i would still like to know some of the names for boys and/or girls that you all like! and you can add middle names too, if you so desire. Also, I use a lot of the names that I like when I play the Sims and the Sims 2. So If you could please tell me the names that you all like for boys and/or girls, that would be great, thanks! I'll rate a 4 or a 5 if you leave a *real* name! thanks!!
--KeLs--
Ah, don't worry, it's a legitimate question. I hate kids, but even I have thought of names. For a boy, I like the name Demitri. For a girl, Mina or Millia.
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First, let me preface this by saying that this is going to a bit long and that I'm not highly religious. I always believed that if you lived your life morally and right, God or the cosmos or what have you, would reward you in a way. You would be able to affect people's lives by the way that you live.
So I've lived my life well- I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, engage in pre-marital sex, am always kind, and work hard helping others, however, I'm losing my faith that its all meaningful. It seems to me that people in general are becoming too superficial. There is no more great search for knowledge and truth and TRUE beuty. People don't trust people anymore- always thinking the worst ulterior motive, even when there is none. I feel like I'm fighting a dying battle to keep a little bit of innocence and purity. Am I just being naive thinking that if I keep living my life the way I am, will "reward" me in the end? Am I the only one who feels like this? Am I the only one who thinks that we're not progressing but rather giving in to our most carnal urges? I'm losing faith and I know eventually all the people I help will feel it by the way I treat them. Your input would be appreciated.
Whether or not there is a reward waiting in the afterlife, you will get one here. Living an essentially good life is a reward all in itself. Just by living that, you have proven to yourself that you are better than most others. You don't give in to impulses and you keep control. I am very pessimistic, and the first to say that our society as a collective whole is nothing but a bunch of fucking morons. You, my friend, are an exception.
Don't worry about what happens after you die. No matter how much soul searching you do, you'll never know the answer until you actually die. Just know that you're leading a good life now, and in the end, that's all that matters.
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Are you still a virgin if you kind of had sex? meaning... If you were making out and everything and the guy and u start to have sex and stuff and he's like half way in and then you guys stop... is that still considered being a virgin or not?
Thanks!
(Unsure)
Well, there is no real set definition of the word virgin. Kinda like how there is no set definition for the word slut. What constitutes losing your virginity? How many people do you have to have sex with to be considered a slut?
At any rate, the decision is up to you. Do YOU think it counts?
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i have a small problem. i like sex. i like it alot. i almost feel i need it like air. i know its kinda like a drug, it can be addictive, but i dont care. im a male slut, bigtime. is there a sexaholics annonmous? i mean, i know love making is best...you know, when your dating or in love with someone, but it's like i wanna screw everything in sight! help!!
Holy shit, you're the exact same as every other testosterone filled male on the planet! Whatever shall we do!?
Seriously, you're not any different than anyone else. Just control your urges the best you can. No one wants to date a sex freak. (Well, ok, MOST don't want to.) And just keep in mind the consequences it can bring. Hope you like children and strange purple bumps on your crotch.
edit: Wow, a 1. Even someone of your age can't stand to hear a little truth! gg
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r there any other advice sites out there that are good... i love this one... but i was just wondering if any one knows of anyothers
There are probably others, but they all pale in comparison. This is, simply put, the most well-run site around. And if you think any differently, you don't know what all is done behind the scenes to keep this place running. Plus, you're dumb for thinking that at all.
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I give advice on this site, and yes, I'm also a Wiccan, almost on the verge of being an atheist and lately there has been someone harrassing me about my faith, she has left 2 messages so far in my inbox, about God, and I've given her actual proof about why I don't beleive in God like that. What I wanted to know is, have I been the only one getting messages like that? Thanks.
I see that the person doing this has been banned. Good! Who are they to tell you you're wrong? The fact that anyone can possibly think that their beliefs are true and no one else's are, is horrible.
Keep whatever faith you want. No one can tell you that you are wrong, because in reality, probably none of us are right.
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okay i have a question about how to people get music in there pro and those pop up things that go HEY wElCoMe tO mY pRo. or then when you leave it gose ThAnKs 4 vEiWiNg or something and then there is like a star or something when you leave. understand? i donno really how to explain it if it is confusing sorry but please help!!!! thanks
To elaborate on MFS' comment, please, for the sake of all our sanity (or lack of it,) do NOT put any of these things into your column. It is annoying, distracting, and completely unnecessary. I hate popups, I hate music, and I hate when the page makes a shape as it switches. And I am not alone.
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Hi i noticed you said that you learnt tea kwon doe and taught yourself to use weapons! Pretty Cool i must say.! How easy is it to find a good martial arts teacher i live in england, hampshire and would like to start some martial arts classes.
Any suggestions would be apprectiated thanks, luv Joolz.
Well, the phone book ought to have some listings in the yellow pages. (Or whatever the British equivalent is.) Look under "Martial Arts" or "Fitness". I'm sure you can do some searches over the internet in your area for these types of businesses. Most cities have a web page listing of the majority of their businesses. Just look for the right category.
Tae Kwon Do is mostly about kicking. It's more of an offensive art. For self-defense, something like Aikido or Judo is appropriate. I believe Aikido is purely defensive, and Judo is the art of using an opponent's strength against them (as in, using their momentum from a punch to make them flip themselves over.)
Just remember, always stretch, and practice is key!
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