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About HyperactiveMiss

Ask away! If you'd like to know me better, check out my websites by clicking here and viewing my collective. I always try to give detailed and helpful advice. Please feel free to ask me for advice and DO give me feedback! Reading good comments and knowing that I helped someone out literally puts a smile on my face.

Please be sure to look at the FAQ on my column. If you ask a question similar to one I've already answered, I will most likely reply with the same answer.

Grammar, Punctuation, etc
I think if Advicenators are going to take the time to answer other peoples' questions and give free and helpful advice, the least people could do is use correct grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc when they are asking for help. It's unbelievable how some people TyPe LiKe ThIs, or never use periods, or don't have the time to do a "seempl nd quik speel chek".
Pet Peeve
I think that's totally lame when someone rates you down just because they don't want to accept the truth. It's also annoying if they rate you down, just because they didn't like your answer. Advicenators isn't about hearing what you want to hear. It's about finding the truth. People should be thankful that someone gave their time and effort. They should be thankful their question was even answered at all.
Rating & Feedback
Let me just remind you what each number means when you rate someone. These are OFFICIAL.

1- Pretty Bad Advice 2- Not Harmful, But Not Useful Either 3- Decent Enough Advice 4- Good Advice 5- Really Awesome Advice

I think everyone should give feedback, not just a rating. And feedback should include WHY you gave that person that specific rating. If everyone did that, everyone would probably rate more accurately. Also, the advice giver took the time to answer the question. The least the question asker could do is to give feedback! But unfortunately I guess it's too hard and mind boggling for everyone to do.


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    Website: Faded Dreams
    Gender: Female
    Location: California, USA
    Occupation: Student
    Age: 15
    Member Since: July 30, 2004
    Answers: 617
    Last Update: September 17, 2005
    Visitors: 36682

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  • I am soo confused I cant figure it would you know if ur bi or straight bc i thought i was straight but now im trying to find out bc i dont think its wrong to be bi and theirs nothing wrong w kissing another girl to me that is so please answer back ill rate also

    I'm not bisexual, so I wouldn't know for sure, but I'll try to help you. I don't see anything wrong with gays and bisexuals. I'm very open minded. If my boyfriend were a girl I'd still love him..or..her that way. lol. Other people think that's just weird. So maybe you're just a little open minded. That's a good thing. Hormones can be going a little crazy so that may be another cause for your confusion.

    If you're bisexual then you would feel attracted to girls and you'd want to have a relationship with them. If you just like girls because you think they're beautiful or whatever, that doesn't necessarily mean you're bi because it's normal to like your own kind. lol. If you think you're completely ready to try new things, maybe it's time to try going on a date with a girl. Maybe then you can see what your heart is trying to say.

    Don't be ashamed if you are bisexual because look on the bright now have guys and girls to choose from! haha.

    So in the end, you're the only one that can decide. Don't worry about it though, because you have your whole life to decide. And you always have the option of changing your mind, so no need to rush. Good luck!

    Rating: | [View]

    When you are making out with a boy (yes I am a girl) where do you put your hands? Where does he put his. When making out what do you do with your hands? sorry i just want to know if you answer this with a good answer I will rate a 5

    That depends on how you're using the word "making out". If it's light, then some places you can put your hands are on his waist, his back, his neck, his chest, his hair, the side of his face, etc. Or you could just hug him. Many possibilities. If it's heavy making can do the above and put your hands in the more private spots. lol. As for the boy, he can do the same and put his hands where I mentioned above. There is no right and wrong. Just do what you think is right. If you're really into the moment, you won't even need to think about it. Good luck!

    Rating: 5 | [View]

    ok i have been going out with this guy for like 2 months and i really like him, but we havent kissed yet, should i make the first move? and he doesnt call me..what is up with that? i think he is just shy, and there is this other guy that told me he likes me and i kind of like him but i dont want to brake up with my boyrfriend for him what should i do?

    The guy might be don't think he's a bad boyfriend just because he has not kissed you.

    If you want some tips on how to get him to kiss you, look at my answer to another question here:

    Or, you can just ask him straight forward if you two can share a kiss. That will give him less shock and he can be prepared for the kiss coming.

    Or, you can just kiss him yourself. Give him some signs you are about to kiss him and just go for it. The guy doesn't always have to be the first one to make a move, so keep that in mind.

    Sometimes in order to get what you want, you have to go for it yourself.

    If there is another guy you like, you need to make up your mind, now. You either need to break up with your boyfriend asap or forget about that other guy completely because the longer you wait the more hurtful and problematic it will be.

    If you love your boyfriend, you would NOT have your eyes set for any other keep that in mind.

    Don't be afraid to break it off with your boyfriend if you are sure you don't have strong feelings for him. Dating is about experience and bonding with someone and finding out what you need and want. You won't always find love at first, but it is better to have gained the experience than to not have at all. You shouldn't be confined to and stuck to one person if you don't feel strongly about them.

    Rating: 5 | [View]

    Hello everyone, how can you know if it is really love or not. There's this guy who I have a crush on for four years plus already and I still can't forget him. Whenever I see him last time and he goes near me, my mind can't think anything. It's like my mind is saying say something say something but I can't think of anything to say. Now, I'm worried about him and I don't know if this is really love. If it is, could it be possible that love exist at my age? I'm 16. And could it be possible that you love someone you don't know really that much?

    Love has so many meanings to it. Love depends on how YOU see it. Some people think it's not true love if it ever ends, some people think true love is only true love if you love that person forever, some people believe it is possible to have "loved" someone even if you don't love them anymore.

    This world is so full of hatred and all of that junk. I think it's worth the risk of telling someone you love them, appreciated them, and admire them, rather than always wondering for the rest of your life if you should have told them how you felt.

    In MY opinion I DO think it is POSSIBLE to fall in love at a young age. That does NOT mean it will last forever though and it does NOT mean you WILL find true love. It is only a possiblity. Love is definitely an overused word that has lost a lot of meaning to many people, but that doesn't mean it is impossible for anyone young to be in love.

    Big crushes can be mistaken for love. That happens all the time.

    In your case, I don't think you can love someone you don't know. I think love takes time, it takes time to get to know someone and love who they are. Who knows, you might be in love with the guy. But you can't be sure unless you actually get to know him and spend time with him. My advice to you would be to admit your feelings to him. The truth is, we never know if we have a tomorrow. I don't think you'll want to let great things pass you by. Dating is about experience and bonding with someone and finding out what you need and want. You won't always find love at first, but it is better to have gained the experience than to not have at all.

    Rating: 5 | [View]

    sorry i didn't know where to put this so i just put it here .. well a few weeks ago i found out that i was pregnant. i decided that im going to have the baby but the problem is that i have an eating disorder. i know it's probably bad for the baby but i've been doing it for so long that i can't stop. Does anyone know how badly it can hurt the baby or what it can do to it?

    I don't have any answers for you, but I did some research and found these sites for you.

    I hope these sites help you understand what you are doing to yourself and the baby. I hope you can get over your eating disorder soon. Good luck!

    Rating: | [View]

    i brush my retainer every day. it still ends up smelling like crap somehow.. my mom called my ortho, and they said to use the stuff that you put dentures in.. i did that, and it still smells bad! does anyone know something good that will get the nasty smell away from my retainer?

    You should try soaking your retainer in the solutions the people before me have mentioned. On top of that be sure to floss, use mouthwash, brush your teeth, gums, and tongue at least twice a day. Every time you take your retainer out to eat and etc, be sure to brush it with soap/toothpaste before you put it back in or at least rinse it with water. I brush my retainers with a mild soap and it works for me. Good luck with your retainers!

    Rating: 4 | [View]

    ok so um me and my friend (we are both girls)have sleep overs all the time and when we do she always puts her leg on me and so i would like rub on her leg and she would rub my boob and when i am in the bed i feel good about it but then when i am out of the bed i hate myself for even thinking of stuff like that and during the day i mean i LOVE guys and then when she sleeps over its a whole different anyways can u help me i dont understand what is wrong with me!

    It could mean you are bisexual. There's nothing wrong with being bi. It just means you like both guys and girls. And look at it this way, at least you now have both guys AND girls to choose from. lol.

    On the other hand, it doesn't have to mean you are bisexual. Maybe you are just caught in the moment when you are with your friend. Maybe you have just been wanting attention and your friend was the one that could give it to you. Hormones can go a little crazy. lol.

    Whichever one it is, you are the one that knows best. Whatever you decide is the reason, don't be ashamed of yourself.

    Rating: | [View]

    hey i love your advice column! ok i have a huge question...what are somethings that i can do(actions) to make my bf want to kiss me more?

    Thanks for the compliment! And thanks for asking me a question, I'm honored =b

    There are only two ways to get him to kiss you more.

    One is to give huge signs and turn him on. lol.

    Give him a great big hug! Press your body against his. Look deeply into his eyes and keep your face close to his. I'm sure he'll get the sign. You can caress his face, his back, his legs, etc lol. Gently pet his hair and run your fingers through it. Say sweet words. Hold hands. Tell him you love him. Kiss his hand. Get his attention, look into his eyes, glance at his lips, and look into his eyes again and smile at him. Kiss his cheek, kiss his forehead. And try kissing him in his ear. Sounds weird, but it feels good. lol. Same goes for the neck. Kiss his nose. lol. You can pretend your finger is hurting and ask him to kiss it. Then you can tell him your lips hurt too. haha. There are many signs of affection that will make him want to kiss you.

    Good breath will definitely make him want to kiss you more, lol. Gum and breath sprays are good, but mints are even better because they dissolve quickly (I don't think your bf would want to kiss you while you're eating gum =b and who would want to pull out a big bottle of breath spray in public anyway? lol) and you can just pop them in when you think you need one.

    Play some "kissing games" with your boyfriend. They're fun and he'll get into kissing more. You can get some ideas for kissing games by searching "kissing games" on

    If you want to try something new eat some candy. The taste stays on your tongue and he'll love the sweetness and flavor of it. lol. I was eating starbursts at the movies once and we kissed a lot. We were so into the movie, it was great *sarcasm* lol. Ever since then he still remembers that time at the movies and he still enjoys it. lol.

    The second option is to...go for it yourself! Just give him those signs I mentioned above and be the first to initiate the kiss. I'm sure he'll like having you be the dominant chick. If you want something, you gotta just get it yourself, lol.

    Hope I helped you and I hope your kissing goes well ;)

    Rating: 5 | [View]

    lately, ive been thinking a lot about my first love. thes this other boy and we're pretty into eachother, but i havnt been able to stop thinking about my first love lately. its gonna be a year now that met and we fell in love over the summer. is this normal? is it just cuz he was my first love? or do i still have feelings 4 him? i really like this new guy. its just that i've been thinking about the first one. maybe, its b/c he represents a happy time in my life or hes very special to me or something. i dunno. do i still like him in a way?

    I don't think people are exaggerating when they say you can never forget your first love. What you're going through is normal.

    Dating is all about trying things out, finding out what you want, and bonding with someone. If it doesn't work out you move on and look for what you really want. Give this new guy a chance and maybe he can fill that space in your heart. You will never forget your first love, but that doesn't mean there isn't room for someone else to fill your heart.

    Rating: | [View]

    ok i like my b/f but i never REALLY REALLY liked him okay hes really nice and all its like i like the b/f thing just not the boy....... i mean ther is nothing there n e more well i kinda wanna break it off w/ him but like my friends dont want me 2 and our 1 month aniversary was monday and he bought me diamond earings i no weird 13 year olds wer do we get this money ?! n e way i have 4 classes with him... i wanna break up with him but i dont no if i should b/c i dont wanna make him feel bad and i just dont wanna go o/ w/ him n e more! so should i break it off with him or not and if i do how should i do it?

    You need to make up your mind...Either break up with him NOW or wait it out and give him a chance. My reason for saying this is if you keep leading him on and he buys you all of this expensive stuff, it's really going to hurt when you break up with him. So you need to stop it all now or let some time sink into your relationship.

    If you want to wait it out and give him a chance, try to spend more time with him. Invite him out and get to know him better. Tell him all of your thoughts. Find things you two have in common.

    If you decide to break up with him just tell him how you feel. He will want to know why you broke up with him. I would probably give back those diamond earrings because he might think you want to gyp him or something. You guys can still be friends. If he doesn't want to be friends anymore, then you know he wasn't that great of a guy anyway.

    We learn everything from our mistakes...and this time you should have learned that you shouldn't date a guy you don't have strong feelings for in the first place. But even if it turns out you don't have strong feelings for him, don't feel bad. Dating is all about trying things out, finding out what you want, and bonding with someone. If it doesn't work out you move on and look for what you really want. Good luck with your boyfriend!

    Rating: 4 | [View]

    lately, i've felt really sad, and i've felt all alone. i'm 8th grade/f, and i feel like a guy could fill up a space :( what can i do??
    -all alone-

    My brother is twenty three and he still hasn't found love. I'm not sure if he ever will because he pushes away everything and thinks marriage is stupid. That doesn't mean his life is worthless. You don't have to get married just to be happy. There are many people out there that are not married. Your life doesn't have to revolve around a man. And if you have excellent friends you can live life happily without being tied down to a guy.

    The truth is, we never know when we will find our true love. Some find it later in love and some may never find it. The only thing we can do about that is not base our lives on boyfriends and girlfriends. We need to enjoy life despite what we don't have. Everyone has lots of things they wish they had.

    What you need to do is not worry. Just be yourself and be happy. You will find the right guy someday and you shouldn't feel bad about yourself just because he hasn't arrived yet.

    With excellent friends, you shouldn't need to worry 24/7 about getting a boy. With excellent friends, you don't even need a man to make you happy! Keep yourself busy. Go out with your friends, volunteer, community service, school activities, clubs, read, cook, clean, watch movies, all of that! It'll make you feel good, and you won't spend your time moping around all the time about a guy. It'll work. Happiness doesn't come right away, we have to work for it.

    You're young. Live life!

    Rating: | [View]

    well im 15 and i dated this guy about a year ago and we broke up cuz he cheated on me. well not physically but he talked to sum girl over the phone told her he loved her and mad panns to hook up with her..while we were going out.(which never actually happened)..well its been about a year...we stayed friends but not very close..and he wants to go bac out...should i try again or let him go?..he broke my heart once do u think he wll do it again? is he telling th truth that he really care...or does he just want sex? why did he wit so long?...theres so much that i dont plez

    My advice to you would be NOT to go back out with him.

    What kind of boyfriend tells some other chick over the phone he loves her and wants to hook up with her? That's just low and sad.

    If you guys are friends and you are still not very close, what makes you think being in a relationship with him will make you even closer? I like the friends first theory...relationships are better when you are friends first because you will have already had a close connection. If you guys aren't that close friends right now you probably wouldn't be better off in a relationship.

    Your ex has cheated on you, and that means he can do it again. I don't think you'd want that to happen right? If he really cares about you he'll still be your good friend even if you decide not to go out with him. A good boyfriend should care about your feelings. Your ex however, has hurt you. That shows he's not a very good boyfriend. You can go back out with him if that's what you choose, but I'd urge you to do the opposite and stay away from a relationship with him to avoid heartaches.

    Rating: | [View]

    i like this guy and he is sweet, attractive, and is so nice. He's funny and tall. One problem, got a girlfriend. He is so sweet tho and he pays more attention to me then his gf even tho i'm only his friend. Too bad his gf is my friend but not a really good one. He always flirts with me and i flirt back but is this ok?

    My honest opinion: It's NOT okay. Think of it this way, would YOU like to have YOUR boyfriend be flirting around with someone else? That'd be hurtful doncha agree? He and his girlfriend are going out so they probably have a strong attraction in the first place. I don't think it'd be a good idea to try and break it up. Just stay friends with him and stay far away from flirting with him.

    And here's another way to look at it. If he flirts with someone else while he has a girlfriend of his own, what makes you think he can't do that if YOU were his girlfriend?

    So either way, it might be best to just keep out of it. Good luck!

    Rating: | [View]

    My mom wants me to be a total conformist: make-up, trendy clothes, dumb girl for a regular guy: you know. I really don't want to because it is so not me but she doesn't care. What do I do?

    We have so many fake people in the world. It's kind of funny how PARENTS are sometimes the cause of it. You need to sit down with her and explain how you feel. Something like "I feel more comfortable without make-up. I like wearing comfortable clothes. You should support me if it's what I really want. Make-up and etc hide who you really are. Do you really want a guy to love me just because I have a beautiful, fake face? Everyone has their own taste, and that includes me. Please don't force me into doing something I absolutely don't believe in taking the effort to do." Lol, nice little speech going on. I hope your mom listens. I know how mothers sometimes can't hear anyone else but themselves. Good luck.

    Rating: | [View]

    there is this girl named Courtney and she as a crush on my boyfriend. Well he has track with her and sits with her at lunch sometimes. Well she knows me and him are going out and she flirted with him right infront of me yesterday and then has the nerve to talk shit about me and give me dirty looks! Well me and her got into it but it was only words being said. My boyfriend yelled at me for yelling at her! He said that if I hit her at all that me and him are done! We I don't know what I should do.. its complicated! Please help!

    .: Miss Confused :.

    I HATE people that just don't understand the meaning of boyfriend and girlfriend. It means they're friggin TAKEN, not open for sale.

    You need to talk to her ASAP and tell her what's up. Don't yell and go crazy. Just calmly tell her you love your boyfriend and you don't want anything to come between your relationship. Ask her to stop flirting with him because it makes you very insecure and uncomfortable.

    I understand why your boyfriend said if you hit her the relationship is over. Think of it this way...who would want an abusive girlfriend that is too protective? So do not get violent and do not try to use bad words and etc.

    That doesn't mean you should let it be though. Make sure this girl stops hitting on your man, calmly. Key word is 'calmly'. Also, you need to talk to your boyfriend and tell him exactly how you are feeling. You probably can't get Courtney out of his life completely, but you can try to get him to keep his distance a little bit more from her. If he does nothing about this situation, I don't think he's as great as you thought he was. A good boyfriend will care about your feelings.

    Personally, my boyfriend is really sweet and really cares about our relationship so he has made an effort to talk to this girl (She's a slut, attention whore, and a huge flirt) I dislike VERY much as less as possible.

    Just remember that every girl that may cause some trouble between you and your boyfriend is a TEST. Either way, you WIN and SHE loses. If your boyfriend goes for her, then you know he's not the right one and that she gets an unreliable guy. If he stays with you, you know you have found the right guy and she lost. See? It's all good. I discovered this when the girl I dislike (the one I mentioned above) caused some trouble for me. I hope it all works out.

    Rating: | [View]

    hi im 15 and i have long hair, like every other guy at school. but it looks really bad, like its always messed up when i wake up. it looks good with a hat on, but without nething..*twitch* ne ideas to what i can do to make it look good in like 5-10 minutes? thx

    There's really nothing you can do to fix long hair in only 5-10 minutes, unless you wanna try putting gel and hair products in your hair. My boyfriend used to have longish hair and it went crazy in the mornings so he took showers before he went to school. You could try blowdrying it with a comb/brush or just letting it dry naturally. And you could try brushing your hair, lol. If nothing works you might as get a hair cut. What's the point of having long hair if it looks bad anyway? Have fun with your hair =b

    Rating: | [View]

    ok so i like this guy ALOT we hold hands at school and are togteher all the time. he likes me alot too. hes so sweet. but we BOTH jsut got out of long relationships and don't want a relationship right now. but its practically like we are going out. and EVERYONE is asking BOTH of us.. "do you like her??" "do you like him??" "i heard u like him..are you going out!?" like seriously soo much people...people i barely even KNOW..its getting soo annoying. i usualy just say yea i do...but its getting super annoying. how can this stop..i dont want to be rude or make it seem like i dont like him but people need to mind their own freaking business!

    You shouldn't be bothered by other people. If you like the guy and you wanna hold hands with him, just do it. Even though it may get annoying getting asked all the time about your love life, it's only because people are naturally curious. Who wouldn't be? You should be honored getting so much attention lol.

    I was in the same position as you. I held hands with this guy (who is now my almost five month boyfriend! lol) and we were not going out. It made everyone wonder and I got questions daily, no exaggeration. People I didn't know (I didn't even know their names) knew about him and me. lol. It got annoying, but it was nothing to get upset about.

    There are only two ways to get it to stop. Just wait it out until everyone's tired of talking about you and him. If you want to keep your relationship with him as it is, then that's fine. It's your choice and you shouldn't let anyone change your mind. Or you can go out with him and the questions with cease. Coming out of a relationship is hard, but getting into one is wonderful, doncha think? Dating is all about trying new things. And if it doesn't work, you move on and find what you really want.

    Rating: 5 | [View]

    I don't know why but I am scared of love, but I want it so bad. I am 19 and have still never had a boyfriend or even a first kiss because I want my first kiss to be special. I am considered an attractive girl and guys like me and I like them too but I won't let anything happen because I personally feel like I don't carry enough self-confidence which my friends get angry about. I think I worry about life in general and I'm scared that I'll just end up alone forever. What should I do?

    You don't have to worry about being lonely for the rest of your life! You are only nineteen. You have plenty of time to find your soul mate. But the first step you need to take is to love yourself and not worry about what people think about you. If you don't want to get involved with someone because you're worried about how the relationship will turn out or if you'll kiss horribly, or etc, you're MISSING OUT. The whole point of dating is to gain more experience, bond with someone, find out what you want in a relationship, and find your soul mate. It doesn't always have to work out at first. Just go for it.

    My brother is twenty three and he still hasn't found love. I'm not sure if he ever will because he pushes away everything and thinks marriage is stupid. That doesn't mean his life is worthless. You don't have to get married just to be happy. There are many people out there that are not married. Your life doesn't have to revolve around a man. And if you have excellent friends you can live life happily without being tied down to a guy.

    So whether you find someone or not, you will be happy, as long as you try to be and work for it.

    Rating: | [View]

    hey, you seem good at giving advice for relationships, i was wondering...i have this boyfriend right now and we're both in 8th grade and highschool's just around the corner but theres a problem, we're going to diff. schools and we dont wanna end it but i already have boys after me like crazy. i dont wanna break up with him bcz he means the world to me but..i'm afriad we're both gonna find someone new! what should i do? I'm so confused.

    I think you should definitely continue going out with him. Enjoy the time together while you can. It is better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all. If you two DO find new people in high school (I hope it doesn't happen though), don't be afraid to break it off. There is not rule that says you can only date one person for the rest of your life. Dating is about bonding with someone and finding what you like and don't like and finding your soul mate. Plus, you never know if you'll find someone new in high school for sure anyway, so better to take a chance.

    Rating: | [View]

    So this one boy tells me that he loves me. And I don't love him. But he really seems to mean it. How do I respond to that statement if I don't love him back and I don't wanna lie?

    Tell him you definitely value him as a friend, but nothing more. Say it gently, but firmly so he will get the idea. You might want to tell him why you don't feel the same way about him because he'll be wondering why.

    Rating: | [View]

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