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Reason is my language.
If you want to avoid the point, simply take offense. -Intuit

I came here to answer computer questions. (This used to say "...and nothing more.")

What I meant was, I don't know how much help I would be with other things... NOT that I would be upset if you asked a non computer question!

No matter the subject, Ask Away! (I'll do my best.)


I am not a doctor, lawyer, etc. All opinions expressed are my own, and are for entertainment purposes only. Use at your own risk. ;-)

'non passus sum stultus ubi spīritusum valeō'

(Thanks for the Latin, Fern!)

Gender: Male
Location: Montana
Occupation: Computer Technician
Age: 36
Member Since: March 28, 2005
Answers: 2291
Last Update: September 11, 2014
Visitors: 164069

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I have the weirdest phobia (Well to me) I can not swallow pills. My sister used to have trouble with it too, but she eventually got over it. My younger brother has ADD so he has to have pills so he it's no problem for him. But when I was little I had choked on something and I blacked out before it was dislodged, and even though I know it's not going to happen just because I try swallowing a pill, I still have a "pill phobia". Anyway is there anything I can do that will help me get over it. Or just ways to make swallowing pills easier? I'm almost 15, and a sophmore in high school, and I'm still telling doctors when I'm sick that I need a liquid or chewable, I don't want to be an adult doing the same thing. It's embarassing. I have friends that won't swallow a pill unless they have to, but even if it was the only way, I'd rather just be sick. So if you have tips on making swallowing pills easier or just getting over the phobia, please let me know!! Thanks in advance! (link)
Hello there,

I have never had any trouble with pills, so I don't know what to say about that that hasn't already been suggested.

IMPORTANT: You must NEVER break open medications, especially timed release ones.

There are pills that have one kind of medicine on one end of the capsule, and anoth ot the other.

They are meant to be released at a certain point in your digestive tract and can be really harmful if you take them any other way.

I cannot tell you enough about how important it is that you take anything like that in its whole and complete form.

Whomever told you that you shouldn't break these things open was definitely on your side.


Heyy DangerNerd!!

I've got a question about my ratings. (not bragging!) I have 15 ratings from the past 30 days, all of them are 5's. None are from private questions. A few hours ago I had 14 ratings and an average rating of 5. Then I got another rating (which was a 5) and my rating dropped to 4.73. Why'd this happen? All I've gotten is 5's, it doesn't seem right that the rating would go down... thanks!
-FunnyCide (link)
Hi there,

You got a one for this question:

If I had to guess it would be because the questioner already knew the answer, and was looking for someone to back her up in her belief.

Telling someone that God will forgive them, when they aleady believe that if they aren't around to ask forgiveness, they can't be forgiven will probably get a "1" every time.

If you believe in the Bible or not, you have to be careful when telling something the opposite of what it says if you expect a '5' from them.

Tell them something that they already know it doesn't say, when they are looking for re-assurance of their beliefs will probably not be well met. In this case, it was a '1.'

Take care,


I really love your advice! But I have a question...
Do you have ANY idea when the columns will be up? Thanks so much! (link)
Hi there,

Could you be more specific? Columns are working. If you can view anyone's advice column, then the site is working. Did you mean something else?

If not, please give me an example of a column that is not working and I will check on it for you.


Hello, this is assuager (I was in the chat earlier today as Yes).

I was wondering where I should send any suggestions for the site, as in to this column or to the advicenator_admin column?

Thank you, and congratulations again on you inheriting the site,

assuager (link)
Good question. I am waiting to hear what Spacefem wants to do with the official column.

As soon as I know if she wants it transferred to a private account, I will let you know.

If you have something burning a hole in your psyche, you can just ask it here.



whats a tweaker? (link)
Tweaker is a slang term for someone who uses drugs. Specifically crystal meth/crank/whatever they call it where you live.


Im buying a shirt for a friend of mine who is 6`1 and quite thin. Im not sure what size shirts he wears and I dont want to ask him because I want it to be a surprise. Do you think a large or meduim would work best? Looking at both length and width. I dont want him with baggly clothes but I dont want it too short either. (link)
Hi there,

I am 6'4" and can tell you that regular shirts aren't good for anyone over 6' usually.

They make shirts in tall and extra-tall sizes. If you are buying off the rack, look for a tag marked "LT" which is large-tall. I wear a "2XL-XT" when I can find it, but usually a "2XL-T" will work.

As he is 6'1, you should be good with an LT size.

If you can't find one in the usual places, go to JCPenny's, they have a BIG+Tall catalog you can order from and pick it up right there in the store.


There was no Funky Light category, so Random Weirdos will work.

About 5 days ago, i bought myself a lava lamp. On the package, it stated that i should let it go for 4-6 hours the first time i use it. I've done that and all, but now everytime i use it, it still takes 40-55 minutes to actually get going with the lava.

My question is, to all of you lava lamp experts, is will the "starting up" time get faster? Is there something i can do to make it go a little faster?

Thanks. (link)
Hello there,

If you leave it in a sunny window during the day, it will be pre-warmed. This should, in turn, make the actual "time-to-lava" decrease substantially.


i have lived in my current house for almost two years. the place that i moved from i had lived there for 8 years. i have just recently gone back to where i came from and i visited my friends and met some new ones.
the question i have is: is it possible to fall for someone that you have just met and are almost completely alike in every way (we have the same interest, tastes, etc.)?
i like him and he seems to like me, if we pursue this possoble relationship, would it be smart to do it at long distance? (i live in montana, he lives in kansas).
thanks in advance. (link)
Hello there,

All I can tell you about long-distance relationships would be this:

When we met online my wife and I were living on opposite coasts. We had a very short courtship, and have been married for over eight years now.

We have almost everything in common. We got along in the beginning, had big fights before we even met (e-mail fights) and then got married so fast it made our parents head spin.

It can work.


PS: We just moved from central Montana not too long ago, so howdy neighbor.

ok i bought a siamese kitten and she keeps on crying all the time! The only time she does not cry is when i hold her she is 10 weeks old but she keeps me awake all night and now i feel so tired and i have not gone to school.How can i stop her crying??? (link)
Hello there,

My understanding is that Siamese cats are the loudest of all breeds. I have also heard that they seem to do better in pairs than they do in singles.

You didn't say how long you have had your kitten, but it can take as much as a week for any kitten to settle into his or her new home.

Picture if you were ripped away from your mother, your brothers and your sisters...

What if you were taken away from the only home you had ever known, and put in a strange place?

It would be scary wouldn't it?

Your kitten will mellow out with time, but because of her breed will probably never be as quiet as other cats.


i know this is really dumb, but i REALLY need advice. okay well recently on myspace i got a message from this guy who was really hot and he thought i was hot, so we exchanged AIM screen names and were talking like all the time. then eventually we started calling each other and now i talk to him online & on the phone every single day. i'm starting to develop feelings for him and i don't want to. there is no chance or future for us, he lives across the country from me! i don't want to stop talking to him though because he is really sweet and funny. is there something wrong with me for liking him? is there any way i can continue talking to him without liking him like THAT ?? please help im going crazy (link)
Hello there,

You know, it is funny what looks like it is impossible today can be quite possible in the future.

My wife, and I were living on opposite coasts when we met online. Now we have been married for eight years. :-)

If you find someone that you get along with, don't let distance screw it up. I was madly in love with my wife before I ever even saw her.

I fell in love with who she was not what she was. There are no physical distractions when you start your relationship long-distance.

Personally, I think that it helps greatly in forming a solid relationship. One based on trust and facts, shared opinions, and agreement about a great many topics that will aid you greatly in having a lifelong relationship without running out of things to talk about.

It would be a shame, to throw away something so perfect for the sake of a little distance.


My boyfriend's mom is such a BITCH. I know that sounds mean, but its the truth. He broke up w/ me and we got back together. We are together now but I haven't talked to him in 2 weeks because everytime I call she is like he's out side mowing the grass. I called 2 days ago and she said he's outside mowing the grass. I call back 3 hrs. later and she starts yelling I TOLD YOU HE'S OUTSIDE! I am very sensitive and I was like like ok. (I almost cried because she keeps yelling at me) I called back today and she said HE'S MOWING THE GRASS! Is there a way he can find out his mom is being mean to me without me telling him? If I tell him he'll tell his mom. (link)
Hello there,

It seems to me that you have to do something that will get this solved once and for all.

How about this: the next time you call and she says that he is outside cutting the grass, say thank you very politely. Immediately go over to his house.

If he isn't even there and his mother answers the door, tell her that since he is always outside mowing the grass you thought you would come over and see him. If she says he isn't there, tell her you thought that adults were supposed to lie to children.

Maybe it will make her think, but no matter what your boyfriend will at least know that you came by.

If she isn't telling him that you call, then he may think you don't like him anymore since he hasn't heard from you in two weeks.

I hope you find an answer,


Many religions believe that the world is going to end soon, and we are living our last days because of all the crime, hate, and everyone being open about their sexuality, what are your opinions on this? (link)
Hello there,

Personally, I do believe that things are winding down to the end.

If you look at the financial picture of the world, things cannot continue the way they have been going. The economy of the United States, and the plunging dollar, are going to create chaos on the world economic market. This is already beginning.

There is a world-famous CEO by the name of Chuck Missler. He is considered an authority on world economic markets. He has degrees in physics, economics, and is widely respected by anybody who's ever heard of him.

This guy, with money of his own, chose to abandon the business world and devote himself full time to a very intelligent ministry for people seeking answers.

He did this, because of overwhelming evidence, in his mind, that the world will be coming to an end soon.

The guy is brilliant.

You can find his web site here:

... you can find many of the things he has to say in MP3 format if you have a filesharing client like Bearshare, Shareazza, lime wire or whatever.

Some of the stuff he has to say is a little hard to take it first. But I learned myself that if you want to argue with his research you better bring a gun. :-)

If you are looking for news and updates of things that looks suspiciously like a one world government forming up you should look at:

... the guy may be kind of a nut but he makes a good point.

To watch Christians arguing over when the rapture is going to happen be sure to visit:

... there is actually a great deal of worthwhile news on this site. Try to ignore the bickering and you will learn a great deal.

If you add all these things up, something has to happen. Something is coming soon.

I honestly believe, if you do the research that I have done, you will come to the same conclusion that I have. The evidence is overwhelming.

I wish you well,


What if someone said something offensive about you and you had a disablity, and ur friends and family didnt do much to defend you? I have the right to be mad right? I have the right to be mad at my family for not defending me right? what should i do? (link)
Hello there,

You have every right to be mad at your family for not sticking up for you.

Do they give any reason for leaving you to fend for yourself?

Are they hoping that you will become tough if they abandon you?

I would ask them directly why it is that they aren't taking better care of you.

If they have no reason, tell them that it hurt your feelings and makes you feel like you aren't part of the family.

This pisses me off just hearing about it.


How can i get the IP address of someone that has asked me a question... the only info i have is the question... (link)
Hello there,

Basically you are at the mercy of the administrators of this site. If somebody sent you something that is legally prosecutable, you can get law enforcement involved in order to do it right.

I would first send a message to the administrator here, asking her for some advice.


im going out to eat with my boyfriend and his family (his mom,dad, 2 bro's, and 2 sister-in-laws, and nephew and neice) anyways.. i gotta inpress them... dont know why but i know i do. So were going to applebee's.. im a very picky eater and i dont know what to get. i dont really like burgers and such. Any suggestions?i was thinking matzarella sticks but i dont know if that'd be rude because its a appetizer.. help. i know its dumb but whatever! ( ive also never been there) (link)
Hello there,

I am perhaps the pickiest eater alive. :-) I am a vegetarian who doesn't like half of the vegetables out there.

As far as Applebee's goes, I don't think your food choices going to be as big a deal as your manners will be.

It really depends on the people you are going with as to what you should order. If they all order light, and you order six entrées you will look like a pig.

If they all order six entrées and you order cheese sticks, it is okay, as long age you explain that you are a little full from a big meal your mom made you eat.

If you are actually hungry during this meal, the best thing to do is order a large salad. They may have one that suits you perfectly, or you may need to customize it a bit. Ask for the salad with what you like on it, don't be too shy to ask them to hold ingredients that you don't care for. Applebee's is supposed to be a higher end restaurant and they should make anything you ask for just the way you like it.

Using your very best manners will count for more than whatever you do for food.

Try not to be too nervous, I know it is difficult. They are just there to meet you, and I doubt they will bring their scorecards.

"I awarded her a 10 for her choice in salad"

"I could only give her a five for choosing coke over iced tea"

Most of the time adults remember what it was like meeting the family of their boyfriend or girlfriend when they were your age. They probably won't make it any more difficult than it has to be. So don't complicate anything if you can avoid it.

Oh, when it comes time for dessert, go along with the crowd. If everyone has dessert, you should feel free to order something similar. It will look funny if you don't. If nobody else wants dessert don't insist on having one for yourself, as that is the worst thing you could do.


Okay, well i started dating this gurl about 2 weeks ago and she is my 1st gurlfriend. We were at her house and she wanted to make out but i have never done it before and hse has amny times before. I did it anyways but then she kept on wanting to make out and i just went with it but i didnt "feel" anyhthing. I dont know if I just have to get used to it or i just dont like her anymore.... but today i took her to my aunts house for a graduation party for my cousin and i didnt feel comfortable around her AT ALL and i kinda avioded her and didnt talk much to her and i think she notcied i was acting strange but i dont know weather i should break up with her or not..... and now i get these stomach aches when ever i think about us making out and it makes me "sick" kinda and i dont want to hang out with her that much anymore cause i think all she wants to do is make out and I dont want to btu its hard to avoid her much cause we talk on the phone every night(since we were realyl good friends before the dating) and i ahve a lot of calsses with her and now our graduation dance is coming up and i dont really want to dance with her anymore..... what shoudl i do cause i dont want ot break up with her reight before the dance....=( ill feel too bad (link)
Hello there,

If all she wants to do is make out with you, and you aren't ready for that. You need to tell her the truth. She will probably freak out, but it is better to get it over with.

They say boys force girls into things they don't want to do. Well that may be true it works the other way to.

You deserve to go to the dance was somebody you really want to be with, and so does she.

You won't be doing either one of you a favor by pretending.

There is no shame in not wanting to make out with her. You are not ready for it, and it is all she wants from you.

You will be okay once this is all over, it is just a little scary right now.

Once upon a time I saw this girl was really into me, and when she took me home to meet her mother both her mother and her wanted to have sex with me. I should mention that this was my first date with her. :-(

They picked the wrong boy, that's for sure, as I was determined to be a virgin on my wedding night.

You will be okay man just get it over with as soon as possible.


I'm actually underweight for my age and height. I need to gain weight, and i want to gain HEALTHY and SAFE weight. any suggestions?
thanks! -i rate- (link)
Hello there,

I would like to suggest that you take a trip to your nearest GNC or health food store and talk to them about protein shakes and carbohydrate mixes.

You can use these to supplement your regular diet, and also learn a lot about nutrition in the process.

There are quite a few products specifically designed to help you put on muscle or a new and exciting layer of chubbiness. Depending on what you need.

Whatever products interest you, I suggest you research online before purchasing. There are a great number of very expensive products that are the identical item you could get for one fourth the price in another brand. As in everything else it pays to shop around.


I am just starting out to digitilize my old lps and Audio casettes.I dont know much about hti s subject but would like to know if there is any special brand of record player and tape deck iI need to get professional results.I would also like too know(being that there are so many Audio restoration software programs available),which one is the best and easiest to use. And I would also like to know if it matters what cd/r blank discs I should use for this procedure.Is there any perticular type or brand that would be better?

lease help me as I am confused?

Kindest Regards,Steven (link)
Hello there Steven,

Many audio restoration programs are nothing more than toys. They have a simple pop or click filter that removes some of these scratches audible on an old vinyl record. They also filter the sharp snare off of a good jazz record. When Buddy Rich does a hot, fast, 12 strike roll across a closed high hat these stupid programs will filter every one of those strikes.

If you absolutely, positively are serious about doing this, go here:

These people have literally everything you need, and really sincerely care about audio restoration.

There may be other programs out there that do similar things, but you have to consider if the authors of the software care about what you want to do with it. If it was specifically designed to do only and exactly what you want to do it will always be a better choice.

As for the choice in CD media... Imation is a subsidiary of 3M Corp. their media products are legendary.

The most important thing to remember is never to rely on one brand. Personally, I would get three different brands of media:

Number one) Imation

Number two) Verbatim

Number three) TDK or Maxell.

Then when you create one disc make three Masters, one on each brand.

Place two out of the three Masters in your safe deposit box, and use your third master to burn any play copies on to whatever generic media you choose.

As for phonograph and tape deck choices... your budget will determine your results.

As people gradually forget about the beautiful thing that vinyl is you can find some outstanding deals on eBay. Just recently I saw a German made Dual turntable with the high-end cartridge made by Orto-fon sells for $75 or thereabouts.

As far as tape decks go, I would need to know if you were talking about reel-to-reel or cassette, perhaps 8-track. If you are talking about cassette multihead units from brands like Nakamichi, Onkyo and older Denon are your best bet.

Four tapes of the reel-to-reel variety, you are going to want to match as closely as possible the original equipment that they were recorded on. If you have no idea what that was, or they are factory tapes, look for a unit from a known good brand with the correct number of tracks for your tapes. It is extremely important that the equipment be in excellent condition.

Repairing these things is a dying art, and you would be very lucky to find somebody who could actually do it. Not to mention the parts are practically impossible to find for most of them.

I hope you enjoy your project,


PS. Sorry about that, after I finished my answer I noticed that your question plainly stated you were talking about cassettes, so feel free to ignore the advice about other varieties of tape.


I see recently you've added me to your "favorite columnists" and im just wondering what caused you to do so. I haven't been getting a horribly astounding reputation here, except with a few of the other people that basically just stop by to remind themselves how crappy the world is getting to be. Lately i've been having a lot of different people actually giving decent advice add me to the favorite columnists section. Im just confused as to why.

Enlighten me?

-Justin (link)
Greetings Justin,

As you did not identify yourself, I'm going to assume that you are known as Panramos.

Actually, you made it onto my list for a number of reasons. What the original answer you gave which sparked my curiosity about you was, I don't remember.

What actually got to onto the list was your list of suggested books to the young woman who was looking for summer reading activity.

The world is crappy, there is no denying that. The difference between you and your contemporaries is a simple one:

I don't believe they could carry your IQ in a wheelbarrow.

I have read your blog and, with the exception of some poor research, found it a very accurate summary of the exposure somebody your age would experience in the current pop culture.

I used to be you to a certain point. Because of various factors in my early life I went through the things you are going through, to a greater or lesser extent, at a much earlier age.

I believe that once you understand the true movers of the puppets that have made our society what it is today you have the potential to grow into a brilliant mind. Not an angry wasted mind, as I nearly became, but someone with a grasp on reality. Someone with a good understanding of the true cause of the pandemic of sheer and unbelievable stupidity that is plaguing our society today.

Sure, you have been known to write some angry, mean and insensitive things. You directed these things at some people that are indeed practically too stupid to remember to breathe.

I honestly believe, that as you grow to understand the causes and deliberate design behind the problem, you may become a great champion in educating those who are truly seeking a way out of the stupid farm.

What convinced me to look into you with greater interest was your answer to the anarchy question. That was absolutely the right answer to give. No better answer could have been given.

The subject of anarchy is not written down in a single sentence. It is a subject for ongoing study and debate. Most people would agree that you cannot tell somebody what anarchy is, they have to feel it.

The common counterculture is only counterculture for about 15 minutes. If you need proof, look at stores like underground attitude and the proliferation of clones littering the malls that sell "punk" clothing. The whole point of punk clothing was that it was your own, you couldn't buy it anywhere because you made it.

Now it is a fashion trend common to mall rats pretending to be "indie" on the weekends.

You have a grip on it, so I would like to encourage you to climb the ladder. Stop being mad at the victims.

Nobody ever led a sheep out of danger by slaughtering it. Think on that. Take some time and consider the answers you have been giving to people.

You have a tremendous gift and insight yet you insist on belittling, bashing and cowing the very people that are most in need of your assistance.

There are very few people with the insight and the intelligence you possess. I only know seven and I have been diligently looking for 20 years.

You escaped the programming and mindlessness by accident so don't get a big head about it.

Be angry at the right people.

Aren't you glad you asked?


im a 16 year old guy and anytime i do physical activities (i.e. gym class, basketball, baseball, running and other sports.)i end up soaked afterwards and some of my friends are somewhat sweaty. I would assume its because im out of shape but i beat most other atheletes. I think it might be because i am fat. Im 5'9 and weigh 197lbs. Some is muscle but some is fat so idk. Can anyone tell me why this is and what i can do to be less sweaty?
**I rate high for answers that are worthwhile. i.e. they make me laugh or they are helpful. ** (link)
Hello there,

You are totally normal. Being overweight makes your body hold in more heat. The excess sweating will go away as you drop weight, or your cardiovascular fitness increases.

If you want to play football, and you plan on being a lineman don't plan on losing any weight. :-)

Pretty much any other sport you play continuously, will facilitate you achieving your body's ideal weight.

Don't listen to anyone who says that they are 5 foot nine and way so many pounds, so you should be like them.

Physical builds vary wildly. There are 6'4" linebackers who are built just like me (huge) and there are 6'4" marathon runners who are built like bamboo.

Linebackers will not ever be running any marathons, and wouldn't you just love to see a football game where all the lineman were built like marathon runners? :-)

As long as you stay active your body will do its own thing and achieve its own ideal weight.

Stay happy, stay active and let the world keep their opinions to themselves.


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