about

I'm psychic and a sociologist, and combined with the many different professions I've had, husbands, friends and family, and my share of bad neighbors too, gives me the knowledge and experience to cast new light on many old problems that we all face. Ask questions about anything you want and need answers to: Boyfriend or husband, school, sex, decorating, careers and career changes, family and friends, pets, diets and health and illnesses, finances, moving and relocating, divorce or marriage, and the nosey problem neighbor. -- Ask JR









advice

okay she (Jackie) doesnt like every thing i like. but i told her that i like skulls on t shirts and belts and i think I'll get a tattoo of one. One week later me and her hang out with all of our friends, and she came up to me and said "i like to get a tatto too, like a skull" i respond "yeah me too but my own design"

(it might sound like she likes skulls too)

and then my friends talk about life in futuer, i said i dont like kids & i never wanted kids cause i dont see my self as a good parent. but Jackie always wanted kids, we all were at the movies & there was kidds making alot of noise in the movies, she moved up to me to whisper in my ear and said, "see this is the reson why i dont like kids." i nod okay and began to watch the movie. then tonight i was checking her myspace page and it read the persons details (that list about themself) and it read, children:someday.

whats the deal!?
it kinda sounds like she is liking what i like so i can like her. What do you think?

Regardless of her age (and yours too) she IS NOT being true to herself.

She is a fake.

She is parroting everything you like and don't like, say and do, to get your approval and in order to get you to like her.

It's an immature game she is playing and she doesn't even know who she is let alone what she wants.

It's a lost cause at this age.

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so i like this kid , lets call him bob , ive liked bob on and off for like 3 years now and i think he might like me to but im not sure bc hes like one of those jocks that could probley get any girl and like im reallyyy good friends w/ him like we hang out all the time and stuff and hes superrr nice to me but idk bc he flirts w/ alot of girls and a few of my friends like him and he nows bc they told him ahha and like im not sure if hes just like that to me bc hes sick of them being all over them and he thinks i dont like him , or idk so im just confusedddddd. haha

You must be awfully young to ask such as question.

Chemistry is chemistry. What works, works, What is real, is real, and what's there is obvious and what's not is as obvious.

You are friends and no more otherwise he would have let you obviously know he liked you openly.

Move on and forget a lost cause.

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Ok theres this boy and I reallly really like him and his my brothers like bestfriend in the holl widest world.. and hes about 3 years older then me. I dont wanna like him cuz this boy i like refers to himself as a big brother to me..which i dont like.. that AND he thinks of me as this little girl WHICH IM NOT
how do i show him im not a little girl and so my brother wont get mad

You can't.

You can not change how someone views you, thinks of you, sees you, etc etc.

You are younger than he and he is obviously not into your age group.

You can not try to act differently, or older and more mature, you can not try to be someone you are not. No one can keep up that farce for long and most people see through the pretentiousness. It only proves your immaturity to him.

Maybe one day, when both are older and age is not a factor, things might change-- but then again, it may not.

Do not force something that doesn't fit.

Do not try to make someone like you romantically when they do not. Nothing you can say or do can change his view and feelings about you.

Move on-- it's just a crush you have anyway--that or the fact you can not tolerate rejection well.

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My doctor perscrived Benzaclin Gel for my acne today. I just wanted to know if I'm applying it correctly:

I wash my face twice a day
Apply the gel
Apply lotion afterwards
Apply suncream afterwards..

Is that correct?

And can anyone tell me about their previous experiences with it? Is it good, bad, etc?

First your soap should be for an acne problem or at minumum a glercerin soap.

That's perfect.

Secondly, NO lotions. all lotions do is agitate acne, clog pores, and build up worse conditions.

Third, use the the acne gel as prescribed.

Do not use sunscreen as it clogs pores too, unless prescribed by or recommended by your dermatologist.

Do not eating greasy foods, chocolates, and things that agitate skin problems.

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I'm a teenage girl and I'm always alone- i'm not kidding. I'm homeschooled so that's why.(and i'm the only dependent minor in my family) I used to go to a prep school where I was around annoying people 24/7, and i hated that. But this makes me depressed too. Never being around anyone. my problem is this:

Whenever I get tired of being completely alone and I go out in public for a rehearsal or something (i do theater), I can't stand being around unintelligent sluts who don't understand me and just ask me why i look so sad and things like that. I get panic attacks whenever I try to talk to someone (unless it's one of my 2 best friends in the whole world) and i start sweating and I turn red and my heart starts pounding. and it gets too awkward and i have to make an escape.

I'm very well-spoken and i couldn't call myself "shy" but i still feel reclusive because i just don't really get along with other people. I've thought it was because of my intelligence being significantly above average. (been professionally tested) So I "notice things that no one notices" which makes me "unusual". (that was something stated word for word in my testing document thing)

It's like everyone else is a bunch of cows in a heard that looks exactly the same and does the same thing, and I'm a completely different species, who doesn't see the need to be in that heard. (if that makes sense)

I also battle depression- and I always have. It's not from any particular event- it's just always sort of been there. and i can't change it.

What is wrong with me?

This is becoming an anti-social behavior learned from being separated from other people.

The longer unsocialized, the worse it becomes.

You actually loose your ability to interact with people and feel estranged. Do you feel like the only real person in a world of cartoon people, or a cartoon in a world of real people?

You're developing the fear to leave the comfort and safety of your own home and interact with others due to home schooling and prior to that private school that you hated.

Why aren't you in public school with others, making friends, and socializing?

You are obviously intelligent and have a brain in a brainless world, but there are others like you. You have to seek them out.

Go for short walks. Hangout at the mall for short periods. Time yourself. Go to the library where intelligent people your age are. Go to high school games even if alone, and make a friend or two.

Join teen organizations and give it a try. Nothing is permanent and not in stone, so you have a way out.

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i'm usually really good at giving advice rather than accepting someone elses.

anyway.
for the past couple of days, i haven't been able to eat. Yeah, i'm hungry, sure it shows, but when i try to eat something, it never stays down.
it'll come back up hours later and i'm hungry again. i know its not a physical problem. its more like emotional. maybe i'm stressed so i get sick and it comes up. sometimes i dont eat because i'm not hungry, and then i eat when i do.
i'm not anorexic and i'm not stupid.
i just want to know, why this is happening, and whats wrong with me.

You didn't mention your age.

Everyone goes through "growing spurts" and are not hungry when not "growing" and "changing."

When we are growing, we become hungry, even craving certain things that our bodies want and need.

Secondly, your stomach is generally the size of your fist. When slowing down on eating, the stomach actually shrinks in size, therefore, when you do eat, it can only hold very small amounts.

Sometimes, skipping meals and even days, food becomes an agitator to the stomach. Which causes the food to be repelled and rejected.

Start off with simple foods: soups, crackers, dry toast, then once kept down, and the appetite increases, add proteins, peanut butter sandwhich which is still gentle, then fish and chicken (protein) and maybe try just a veggie plate. Or a salad plate.

Give yourself time to readjust to foods gradually and no fats and salts and seasonings to agitate your stomach.

Drink liquids to help hydrate yourself and increase stomach size again.

If this fails, you could possibly have a stomach bacteria (bad bacteria) and need to see a doctor.

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Hello im crying my eyes out because i think im over weight....i dont look it but the BMI thing says I am IM like 5'2 and like somewhere inbetween 127-130 pds....omg i hate myself...im thinking of anorexia.

Hey don't freak out. I am 5'2" and range between 100 lbs and 120'bs. all the time.

Okay--so you want to be 110lbs. say?

Then promise yourself you wil eat right. No more junk and fast food. Eat salads, low-cal dressings, no fats, no trans fats, no salts (water retention) not any wasted calories, etc.

Eat raw veggies dipped in low-cal Ranch, peanut butter and cheese crackers as snacks, good cerals and oatmeals for breakfast, 2% low-fat milk, sweet-n-low, no sugars, no soda, not even unsweetened sodas-- drink water, and drink zero calorie Crystal Lite drinks, unsweetened tea using lemon, water with lemon twists, broiled fish, grilled fish (salmon) grilled chicken, (skin peeled off ) no potatoes, no bread, and if bread at all, whole wheats and grain--toast, no butter, low-cal this and low-cal that. Lots veggies.

You'll loose weight in no time and learn healthier eating habits!

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okay so me and my boyfriend decided that we would start leaving each other little surprises in each other's lockers every friday. last week i left him a little bag of hershey's kissables with a note that said "Have a good friday, i love you" and he gave me a butterfly/ heart card with a poem on it. but i'm totally stuck on this weeks project. if someone could give me a list of some cute ideas that would be great.

You've started a tradition that can only get more and more challenging each time.

Now you'll have to keep your eyes and ears open for every little clue there is to come up with an appropriate surprise.

But, in the meantime, why not make him a custom CD of his fav songs or you're fav songs together that might mean something to each of you?

Good luck.

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does anyone know any good trance songs?

Okay definition of trance: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trance_music

bands from A to Z: http://www.soundclick.com/genres/a2zSub.cfm?genre=Electronica&subgenre=81


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My ex-boyfriend from about 6 months ago and I have finally started to be friendly towards one another. It's nice. He basically refused to talk to me before because I didn't want to get back together with him when we broke it off, even though it was mutual. The talking started about 2 months ago. Today, through one of his better friends, I learned that he is still "madly in love with me." Now I don't know what to do with our relationship. I'm starting to think that he only started talking to me again because he believes he has a chance, which he doesn't. I'd never get back together with him. I don't want to lead him on. Should i confront him with it? Ignore it? Any advice is appreciated.

Well, if by chance your information is wrong and you say something-- you'll end up with egg on your face and feel like a fool.

I would allow it to continue just how it is right now-- let him talk to you nicely, return nicities, and be polite, and wait to see if he says anthing to you about "getting back together" then you can tell him how you feel about that.

All things come in the right time, and don't get caught up in someone elses' view point of what is or isn't because often, it is incorrect.

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Okay so I'm 14/f - freshman in highschool. Grade 9

The other day me and some friends were working on a project in the hallway, and this really cute guy and his class walked by a few times. Then he walked by byhimself a few times as well. Those few times added up and every time he walked by we caught eachothers eye. His 2nd period class is across from my 2nd period class so since then whenever we walk by eachother we still catch eachothers eye. So heres the catch:

I know he's a year older than me, because that class across from me is a grade 10 class. I know NOTHING about him besides his physical appearance, I don't even know his name :( But I'd reallly realllyyy want to. What can I do or say to him? How should I approach him? Im not good in those awkward silences and im not the best at starting random conversations. I thought about winking about him when I pass him but I don't want to come on to strong.

Any Ideas?
Thanks.

Well, you could try the old walk out of class at the same time again, catch each other's eye again, and accidently on purpose drop a book or two to see if he helps pick them up for you then you can say "thank you--I don't know your name, but mine is XXXXX...." and see how it goes.

Or, be a bold one and walk up to him and say "hi, my name is XXX and I've noticed you the past few days and wanted to say "hi" so ........."

Whatever....do something or you'll never know.

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15 f
well i have known my bestfriend since the 6th grade and i am in 9th now. we were so close and i love her to death she is like a sister to me! but about 3 months ago she got a boyfriend and thats all she can talk about. she talks about him alot and sometimes i feel like she only calls me to talk about him. talking on the phone is not as much fun as it used to be anymore. i really dont want to tell her that she talks about her bf too much she would get mad
what do i do
what do i say
thansk in adance

You're looking at it one-side--- from your own side, not hers.

She is your best friend. Imagine if you both were in your twenties and engaged and getting married. Well, you'd be helping each other plan the other's wedding, be the maid of honor, etc. etc. and share in the joy. What if then, one was expecting their first baby? Well, you both would be buying baby clothes and planning a baby shower, etc. picking out names together...

It's no different now.

She is excited. She has a boyfriend and she obviously really likes and is sharing that elation with you-- her best friend.

Take it as a compliment and share in her happiness. We all change dear. We all go through different stages in our lives as we mature.

It could be you and your boyfriend and her without one and listening to you rant and rave over how great he is. The shoe could be on the other foot.

Enjoy in her joy and be happy for her.

The next years will change and be ready to change with them-- with her, your best friend.

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Does anyone have a safe,free, and reliable place where i can download photoshop?? if so can you give me the link and if you have downloaded it can you tell me how easy it is to work?

I don't think you can get a free download of Photo
Shop anymore. If you do, it's a limited trial and doesn't offer all you need to use it.

Try the PhotShop website directly.

I gave up on mine a year ago.

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Does anyone know any good websites/xangas/photobuckets/myspaces with good backgrounds or layouts for myspace because i want some good background patterns that most people don't have. don't tell me to google or type in backgrounds on photobucket.
kthanks.

Are you too good to google like the rest of us? Google is the best search engine anyway.

killerkiwi is cool....but don't expect something for nothing.

Look around the various MySpace sites and see the different logos for their pages, write them down and make a list.

Go to each one and peruse them all and maybe you'll find some that other's haven't used yet-- but chances are, everyone has used one already.

You can change your font and font sizes to make yours unique though.

Banners are cool. Try Glitter.com for banners.

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girl: i just really want someone to makeout with or a BOYFRIEND! i need advice, cuz ur like my brother :] :[

him: i jus want 2 be popular so you can

girl: wut

Him: i jus want 2 be popular so you can

girl: i dnt get it??

him: nvm g2g

him: signed off

what does this mean??? my friend saidhe wants to makeout with me, but im not sure

duckyville72

It makes no sense to me at all.

makeout with OR a boyfriend?

I jus want 2 be popular so you can?

Does not make any sense regardless of being 10 years old or 20 years old.

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i have a really distorted view of healthiness. i have one egg (only the white part and maybe like a bite of the yolk..its hardboiled), some yogurt and fruit for lunch, and a pretty good dinner, but i really limit myself on what i'll eat..and barely any sweets. i'm SO afraid that even if i have a couple cookies or something, i'll get fat. could someone please set me straight on this distorted view on healthy eating? like what kind of diet will make you fat, and what won't?

for a reference, i'm 15/f and about 128-130 pounds (5' 7"). and i'm athletic..so i don't think weight is really a problem right now. i just am so afraid of getting chubby or fat.

You're general idea is healthy but you are obsessed too much to the point of unhealthy.

Get a good book on nutrician-eating healthy.

Or, research good nutrican-eating healthy online.

Print it out.

Stay aways from fats, trans fats, high cholestrol juck, fried foods, sweets, high-caloric foods, etc.

Use common sense. Research and you'll get all you need to get a good start.

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where does the term "to know someone in the biblical sense" come from?

It is an old proper English and proper and poliet way of saying what the Bible speaks of in the bibical sense which means sexual closeness.

In the Bible, when a man laid down with a woman, it was his way of taking her as his wife. And in the eyes of God and man, they were man and wife until death, or adultry which is the only excuse in the Bible for divorcing a spouse and remarrying another (taking another spouse).

There was no such thing as weddings and divorces. Death allowed you to marry again. Or adultry allowed the one that adultry was committed against to cast out the adulterer and take another spouse.

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i think my boyfriend only likes me because he wants to hook up and get physical , etc.
i really dont want to stop being his gf because i really like him so much he is so important to me. but the thought of him only wanting to go out with me for a makeout buddy just makes me so sad. im really sad right now.

I fail to see a question in your statement of being sad over a boyfriend that wants to use you as a booty-call.

So, is there a question?

Personally, if all you are is a booty-call, then make a decision= give in to his demands on his terms, or kick him to the curb on your terms that you are better than a booty-call.

Sad? Get over it. There are lots of guys out there that would adore you for you without the demands of a booty-call!!!!!!!!!

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I have no idea what this goes under but in Kyle XY the webiste with is abc family kylexy u can look up clues and stuff but i dont kno the passowrd to get on the computer does anyone know?? PLZ ASAP

First of all the ABC website about the show Kyle XY and family, has nothing about "clues" so you will have to be specific as to what website you are referring to for anyone to answer your question.

Usually you have to join and register to set a password to participate.

Have you looked into that aspect?

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What kind of dress should i be looking for? for a semi?? Because i have NO idea! i am 13/f and approximately a B cup size ((idk if that has anything to do with dresses though)) but i have no idea what kind of dress i should buy or color! i also have Dark Brown curly hair. it would be great if you could give me a link! THANKS!!

Prom type dress? What kind of dress for what occassion?


Regardless... 13 years old and B cup size--- NO SEMI!

You should wear spagehetti straps and if your face shape is square jaw, normal jawline/chinline, then a nice staight-across ur front, maybe lower in back if permitted by parents.

Dark brown, curly hair? Wear it up off your shoulders and accentuate your neck and spagehetti straps, and the dress color would be lovely in a brownish silk, real blue (if you have brown or blue eyes only), or a fantastic shade of green of your choose if green eyes.

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