I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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I went into my mums room to wake her up but she had gone to the toilet and I saw it on her bed
can I ask how old you need to be so you can try one
thank you (link)
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There's nothing abnormal about her owning one or using one. A lot of women do and adult novelty items is a $15 Billion U.S. a year industry so it's pretty normal and nothing to ashamed of if people use them. The best thing to do is mention to her that you inadvertently saw it and ask questions though awkward about it that you wanted or needed to know or what she thinks about whether you can get one. I would leave that with her to decide. A healthy discussion about it is where you should start.
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This is embarrassing thing to talk about but it is all anonymus so I guess that makes it ok. I am sorry if I say anything not okay but seems like people talk a lot on this site about a lot of things and it is very open and they talk about very personal stuff and about sex also. I have questions about masturbation. I am a guy and I am now a teenager and I have puberty and all that.
1. A girl I know was texting me and wanting to know personal stuff like what do I do and touch myself and how often and it was exciting to be asked but weird and I do not know her well enough to know if she would share what I say and plus I don’t want to be a freakzoid so I told her I don’t think I should talk about that with girls and she said something rude so I am happy I did not share my information no matter how fun it was she was talking about sex stuff. What do y ou think on that one? I am pretty sure that was smart play.
2. Is there like too much like too many times in a row or too many times over total to ejaculate. I can wait sometimes for days if I keep busy with other stuff and like try to do normal things not about sex but when I do start it is like one time is never enough and I like it so much I just want to make it happen again and fun to see how many times I can do it without breaks but I think I am like addicted to fun it feels and like go for hours instead of falling asleep and just make myself hard over and over and like imagine I have to do it to prove myself I can keep going.
3. I made a thing with bubble wrap like for packing stuff and tape that fits like perfect over my erection and I use baby oil and it is better than anything and I just never want to stop it sometimes. But I ran out of the baby oil and used tanning oil. Is using that stuff ok? I don’t want to do something stupid. I mean both are for the skin right?
4. Will doing this a lot help me be better at real sex or will it mess me up because I am doing it too much? Should I take breaks like a week off or does that even matter? If I time myself and to not lose control longer and longer would that be good for having sex wit a girl someday? Like training for sports? Or is that just dumb.
5. I don’t need to know details but do girls do stuff to themselves a lot or just sometimes or is this mainly a guy thing?
6. I know it is like a sin but also normal and there is like probably some balance but I think I am a little obsessed and it is worse on days when a girl talks to me or flirts and I sort of go overboard thinking about it. Will I probably calm down if I get a girlfriend or will it just get worse?
Those are all my questions. If this not posted I will know I asked too much or said things too detailed or sexual. I apologize for doing that if I did and will not be mad about it.
Signed, TANNER
as a joke cause of the sun tan oil :-) (link)
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First of all the person asking this of you on text shouldn't be and can use anything written against you or show it to other people. You need to write a curt one sentence answer "This Is Inappropriate." and stop texting so they get the message loud and clear. Never talk electronically to anyone about this especially if you don't know them well.
If it's a classmate and want to talk about it offline and feel comfortable with one another that's different. The only time self-pleasure can be a bad thing or too much is when it affects your life to be the only thing you think of and the only thing you are doing. If you lead a normal life with normal activities and it's not the complete focus of your days than it's okay and normal.
Both males and females do this and it's pretty universal at your age or any for that matter although stats say men admit it more and or females don't talk about it as much.
While some cultures or religions may be against it this is not a sin and is perfectly normal and something literally everybody does or has done at one time or another. Nothing at all to be ashamed of there.
As far as your fourth question no it won't mess you up for later with partners when ready for sexual activity. In fact it may help you when older communicate well with a partner about what you do and do not like or want.
As far as the third question goes it's not recommended. You don't want to get anything perfume like near your genitals that isn't meant to be used there for infection reasons etc and tanning oil would not be a good idea. There are products in drug stores that are lubricants designed specifically not to cause issues with genitals.
Also, doctors will tell you regardless of a person's age be it adult, teen, senior, child of any age or sex that's it's 100% normal and healthy. There is some medical link or so its been written or studied between frequent ejaculation reducing chances of prostate cancer later on in life
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Age:17
Gender: Female
Question: Why did i orgasm when i got raped?
Hey guys . Recently I got raped, but I still orgasmed. Even though I really didn't want to. I don't know what happened, one moment I was protesting, the next i orgasmed. I don't know what is wrong with me. I hated it so much, yet my body enjoyed it. I feel so guilty and annoyed with myself. I thought as soon as h finished he would leave but he wouldn't stop until i reached climax and eventually orgasmed. Even then he went in for a few more rounds, leaving me in pain. I wish i could erase thy moment from my head. I wish it never happened. What do i do?
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The first thing you need to do although it may be hard is to tell your parents what happened, where it happened, the circumstances and who it was. Have them help you go to the police and have the person charged and get them to get you counselling and support. You need that. You also need to get as far away as possible from this person. A restraining order may/may not be something to consider.
If you know of other girls that are in his orbit and could be victimized by him start making a lot of noise about what he did to you so they can see what he's done. You'll need your parents, loved ones and friends to align behind you to deal with what has occurred.
The only person who should feel shame or blame themselves is the prick who did this to you full stop period. You shouldn't feel guilt or be annoyed with yourself. An orgasm is a physical action that we don't have control over. The fact this happened means nothing at all. It hasn't anything to do with the fact that you were violated, assaulted and need support and to go after this person so somebody else never has this happen to them. Believe me if he's done this once he will do it again. It's a behaviour and pattern with these assholes.
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I want to do a threesome and it's this Saturday but I feel guilty keeping it behind my mom's back because shes sees me as her daughter and all that and because she is my best friend but i really want to do a threesome but I feel guilty and I have been debating whether I should do it or not and I want to but I'm scared and nervous and I don't know what to do. (link)
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DON'T. If you are scared, doubting and don't want to do anything much less a sexual practice you aren't wanting to do take that voice in your head and listen to it.
Know from that voice that's constantly in your head that it's not the right thing for you.
If you have any guilt or doubt don't do this because it sounds as though people are pressuring you etc. If you feel your parents wouldn't approve that's just another sign and reason not to. You need to communicate with your partner that this is just one thing you're not interested in. If he doesn't get that you need to find someone who does.
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I’m not sexually active or anything, but when I masturbate, sometimes there are yellowish chunks that come out when I ejaculate. These tend to have a stronger smell than semen usually does- does anyone know what this is? Should I see a doctor? I’m a 17 year old guy if that helps (link)
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Here's an article from a respected medical journal on everything you could ever want to know about semen and what is healthy and not about it. Some people have thicker than others or what you described. There are reasons most of which not to worry about.
It can also be according to the article dehydration, not ejaculating with frequency etc. They also mention infection. The color, amount and consistency of it varies. Unless there is painor you are urinating too frequently there's not much else to worry about covered in the article. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/thick-semen#summary
As far as smell goes unless it's really awful likely it's fine. Semen does have a smell and it's usually a pleasant and sweeter smell than something that is not.
If you are concerned it's perfectly okay to mention it to your doctor that you don't understand what's happening and or don't feel good about an odor. They'll give you info.
There does seem to be a link though with consistency per the article with it being thicker or not based on frequency of releasing it through sexual activity or masturbation. It's no big deal and can and does look different. I think you're fine but haven't really noticed this before now.
Not to be crude or gross but in my own experiences I have noticed the differences over time and it's been no medical issue. It's common that it changes in consistency and the amount and should not cause concern or any worries about sex or pregnancy with a partner.
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hey! I am a 12 year old girl. Last night my mom and I were talking about stuff and the conversation made it’s way over to s*x. she said a bunch of things and I found out that my parents still have s*x.
I’m honestly not sure WHY I’m so freaked out about this, but it makes me really uncomfortable to think that they still do it. I didn’t really know that people do it for joy, and to show love to the other spouse, I just thought that god made it to make a baby. Once you have that baby, it was done and done. Haha I was wrong i guess.
So I guess my dad uses a condom or whatever that is, and that freaks me out. Just thinking ab it freaks me out to be honest.
I cried myself to sleep last night while listening to Jules Leblanc :) I shouldn’t be this upset about it and I honestly don’t know why I am. It’s just weird thinking about that the bed that I’ve sat on many times before my parents were having s*x.
I am still upset about it and I just need to figure out why. I don’t want to think about this day and night, 24/7/365. any ideas?
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I have news for you your grandparents are having sex. Sex is normal and healthy and in your parent's case signs of a strong relationship which believe me not a lot of adults have or still do 12 years later.
I think the problem is not with them having sex but with your hangups of it being gross or dirty or something they shouldn't be doing. That's something you need to work on. It really shouldn't freak you out but now is the time to think about why. Does it really make any difference? I mean you weren't aware of it before but now they've been open about it?
It doesn't make them dirty or awful so you have to put it in perspective. Love doesn't always have to be present when it comes to sex but is in this case and that's a great thing.
I think you need to talk to them about what you know and don't know about sexuality and see that it's an okay topic and thing to know about. No doubt they have questions and concerns about the kind of education you have about it or aren't receiving. Talk about being freaked out or embarrassed about being told.
Really, there's nothing to worry about but it's indicating it's time to really have open dialogue with them about it. There's a reason they told you about this to let you know that everybody at some time will do this and it's natural. They want you to be as open as they are being with you about the topic and what you have picked up about it on your own. That's all no doubt.
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I had unprotected sex a day after my last period in October,i didn't take any contraceptive. I'm yet to get my period now. It's been 36 days (including last period). Could i be pregnant?
I'm really scared of taking a test that eventually turns out positive. (link)
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Sooner rather than later you are going to need to deal with this issue head on and find out. It's probable that you are pregnant but you need a definitive result. You need to either book an appointment with your doctor or get a test or both. You need todo it and be on top of this as it's a health concern. You also need the help of adults around you. They may not react te way you would like at first but they will assist you.
There really isn't anything to be fearful of and shouldn't work yourself up until you have the result and need to tell someone. Even then you will find help and concern. This is one of those things where you have to be responsible and get checked out. You shouldn't jump to conclusions without an actual result. You'll scare yourself when perhaps this isn't what you fear. Go get checked out and then tell an adult whom you trust most.
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So I decided to put toothpaste on my clit because it's all someone do it on p****** is it safe and I already done it I'm about to rinse it off what should I do (link)
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You can get an infection and quite possibly thrush from this. I have read that some women are misled into thinking putting it there can tiighten vagina or bring pleasure. It can't and it doesn't. It can leave you highly irritatted down there. It messes with the natural PH balance. The vagina is self cleansing and the clitoris super sensitive. I would definetly bathe and never try that again as it can cause damage and issues you don't want especially down there.
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I’ll start by saying that I am of a legal drinking age. But I’ve never done ANYTHING sexually. Other then with my own hand. So this is embarrassing please be nice. With that being said I want a vibrator but I’m embarrassed to go in to an adult store and say I want a vibrator. I know I could order one but I don’t want one of parents getting it. Because sometimes they don’t pay attention to who’s stuff they are opening. Should I just ask my mom for help or just buck up and go get one? Like if your a mom would you want your daughter coming to you asking for a vibrator or would you rather not know? If you would say to ask her how would I even bring it up? If your wondering my mom is pretty cool but I know when my sister told her how many partners she’s had my mom did not want to know. I also know my mom has vibrators.
Sorry it’s so long!! Please help though!!! (link)
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Masturbation is normal and practically everyone does it. Your mom likely suspects you do it. It's pretty much universal with teens. There really doesn't need to be embarrassment.
It's obvious your mom does it and you've noticed these toys. While talking about it may seem difficult it probably won't be. Perhaps you can write her a note that you are curious about these things but too embarassed to talk about it or purchase yourself. I'm sure she will be understanding and not make it an embarrassing thing.
People who run adult stores know that many people are nervous and don't want to ask for certain items. However, they are very knowledgeable and will make you comfortable if you ask questions. To them it's just normal conservation and no judgment. Try talking to a female employee. I would talk to your mom first and see how that goes.
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I'm 27/f and I've read and heard that women don't think about sex or masturbate as often as men, but I think I do. I masturbate at least once daily, sometimes as much as 4 times. I fantasize often and sex is usually somewhere close in my mind's eye. I feel like my libido is in overdrive. My boyfriend has been depressed for a while and we usually only do it maybe twice a week, sometimes 3 times. Sometimes only once. But I know that's not either of our faults. I guess my question is, are there other girls like me who think they are a nympho? Sex isn't like a compulsive thing for me, though, I'm just constantly thinking about it. (link)
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You are normal. You may have a higher sex-drive than your partner and that's okay. As long as you can go through your day filling it with normal things and aren't avoiding stuff just to go masturbate it's fine if it's 3-4 times per day. Also, during Covid-19 you're going to be stressed to the breaking point at times and have pent up frustration or desires even that needs to be released. This is one way of doing that.
Fantasizing is healthy as is masturbation. Your doing it more may have a lot to do with being constantly indoors. In fact, right now a lot of people are ordering in large numbers per an article I read sex-toys from Amazon and other companies because of social distancing and unable to have partners. Masturbation is fairly common right now with both sexes especially among your age bracket and even older as the only safe sexual release. We all do it but don't admit it.
As far as your husband goes find out what is causing the depression and get him proper help if he hasn't got it already. Medication he may on may lower lobido. You're not a nympho and thining about sex and not doing any acting on what you're thinking about is okay.
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Im 14 and my friend told me that she would suck dick for 20 dollars should i keep her as a friend talk to her about or just tell we cant be friends? (link)
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Someone should talk to her about what she's said and let her know that doing so is wrong. I would tell your parents that she said this to you and it made you uncomoftable and felt wrong. Let an adult you trust know and have them address it for you. This could be your parents, a teacher or anyone you trust as we definetly want to stop her from doing this with anyone. You should also make it known to her that you felt this was inappropriate. Adults need to give her something to think about and figure out why she lacks self-esteem to even be contemplating this.
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Why does my boyfriend always want anal sex even though he knows how much I dislike it and it turns me off and I'm crying but he still continues and even gets off (link)
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It's your body and if you don't want to do something than don't. If he can't handle that tell him to take a hike. He sounds like a prick (excuse my word choice) who only cares about what he wants. If he cared about you at all he would stop if he saw you crying. Is he worth staying with? Probably not. If he can't understand no or your stance on this than it's time to move on.
Someone like that is someone to be well clear of. There's no genuine concern or love there. It's not right that he knows where you stand and keeps trying to push things. It shows exactly where his mentality is and how he views you. Let him know that he's on thin ice and that if he doesn't get the word NO to move on and find someone else because you're done.
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I (16 year old male) tend to masturbate in my pyjamas, rather than naked. However, I recently googled about whether other people do it this way, and I came across people that do, but they tend to put their hand down their pants and do it. I just feel the bit with the erection there, and move it until I ejaculate into the pants (I’m very squeamish so don’t really like the idea of touching my bare genitals)
I wipe the semen out of my pyjamas and wash my hands when I’m done, but I’m not 100% sure whether it’s safe to masturbate this way.
I think my mom is slightly concerned about the amount I ask for clean pyjamas though. Do you think she is aware of all this masturbation though? If not, how do I tell her?
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There's nothing dirty or wrong with your genitals and they are quite clean provided you practice proper hygene and bathe the area in the tub or shower. You have to get over fear of touching them. Nothing bad will happen for doing so. After all the poster below me is right you need to for urination and are no doubt touching your penis then. How is it any different when not? It's the same thing as touching them for urinating. It's Normal and okay and definetly shouldn't freak you out any.
Not everyone masturbates the same way. You have found what works for you and that's fine. What one person likes another may not.
Most parents of teens and children in general pretty much suspect their kids are doing this with frequency as it's normal at any age and pretty much universal during puberty with either sex. They just may not have spoken to you about it.
As far as the PJs issue goes it sounds not only messy but you constantly are having to wash them. You may want to use wet wipes or kleenex to clean up ejaculate rather than constantly soil your clothing. Everything you are doing is safe and normal so you shouldn't worry about it.
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Hi so me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 2 years now and we have talked about having sex and we wanted to earlier but neither of us were really ready. Now I feel like we’re both ready but big delima is that neither of our parents are ready, we’re both Juniors in Highschool, and very much so mature but our parents Just aren’t ready. My parents are always around so we couldn’t do it at my house, and we could do it at his house but his mom checks in all the time so we could be in the middle of having sex and she comes in and that really kills the mood. We’re both very very very horny and everytime we kiss it’s like a sexual charge and i just don’t know what to do (link)
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I definitely agree with Adviceman that there are other ways to be healthy or explore sexuality that don’t need to be intercourse. That said, both sets of parents here aren’t dumb and may already suspect this is happening. A lot of parents while not in support of activity may be relieved in a sense that if it’s going on it’s under their roof and you are protecting yourselves. Perhaps getting on birth control that they know about is showing responsibility. Unless you have privacy of a locked door or assurance of not barging in than perhaps this is something to leave to future while still exploring sexuality without intercourse. Perhaps they can assure you of privacy in their homes iif knowing you are sexually active and being as cautious and safe as possible. I stress not to rush anything.
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My 12 year old son and daughter (fraternal twins) recently came out as gay. Of course, I'm happy that they felt comfortable sharing this information with my husband and I and we both want to be supportive.
I admit though that I'm a little lost when it comes to the issue of sleepovers. When I was a kid, I never would've been allowed to sleep over at a boy's house for obvious reasons. I'm just not sure that those reasons apply here. I don't know if any of their friends are gay or maybe questioning. But if that were the case, are there any good reasons for not allowing same sex sleepovers if it may lead to experimentation? (link)
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I agree with Advice Man at 12-years-old hormones and puberty changes haven't really happened yet. They may be gay and they may not. It's very early in the game to fully have figured out something as monumental as one's sexual prefence. I would have a lot of dialogue with them to see why they have made this assertion or if someone or some experience has made them think this.
Sleepovers are normal and if you placed rules against experimentation due to bullying, regrets later, parents against it etc or if peers use it against them it should be fine. However, kids do and will experiment regardless of whose roof they are under. It would be best if you did what you could to have them under your roof and aware of it and them being careful if really concerned.
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So I'm 13 years old, nearly 14 and I've been fingered the first time it was only for like 30 secs, I thought this was a long time. A few days later I was fingered by someone else for much longer I couldn't really feel anything so he uses two fingers and it was better not too tight tho. Does this mean there's something wrong, am I too young, am I a slag (link)
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I have never been one to criticize a fellow advice giver but the advice given below by Dr. D to put it politely is off-base. This will NOT lead to pregnancy or other activity you aren't ready for or something that ruins your life. If you aren't ready for anything else know that and communicate it to partners. They are right in saying sex is best left alone until and unless you can support a baby.
Anyways, as per your question every female is different when it comes to what they respond to sexually and in your case you didn't find what your partner(s) were doing to be pleasurable. And guess what? That's perfectly normal. What you need to do is tell them "that's not working for me" and outline what you prefer.
Make sure he's not being too rough either. Most women find pleasure from clitoral stimulation and not insertion. My only concern here is that you have let more than one person do this within days of each other. You might want to hold off on this kind of thing and find the one person you want to be with as having multiple partners doing this with you can lead to a reputation if the boys blab about it.
There's nothing wrong with what you are doing and it's considered a form of self-pleasure (masturbation) but with a partner. As long as you remain in charge and they know that you mean business and NO is NO than you're okay. You have to communicate what you aren't ready for and make sure you trust your gut. That way nothing can lead where it shouldn't yet.
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Um ok so for some reason I finger mysealf a lot when I am in bed is this weird thing to do?? I keep sticking my fingers up there. Please help!! (link)
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The short answer is that aside from being a weird teenager to begin with you're absolutely fine and this is normal at any age. It's a form of masturbation. Males, females, toddlers, infants all at some point at least do this once. Those who don't may be religious or not want to and that's fine too.
Masturbation need not be sexual at all. It can be done to ease stress, because it feels good or from boredom even. It's never sexual at all with children. Just like they discover all other parts of the body they discover private parts and what they do.
It is considered to be more prevelant in males that females with stats saying about 90% at all ages do and 77% of females. Honestly, I believe it's about equal for the simple reason that male genitals are external and that they use them to urniate and discover early what the penis does and how things feel. With girls the gentials are mostly hidden or internal. Also, males are more apt to talk to friends about it and females not. It's something we all do but don't admit. I would bet all your friends are but won't talk about it if asked.
This is incredibly healthy no matter the method and in males may help problems from developing later on with prostate through frequent ejaculation. The bottom line is that if you enjoy wha you are doing continue and if not stop and both are okay.
The other thing you have to know is that parents pretty much know this is universal with both sexes at this age to relive hormones and even if you have racy thoughts doing it that it's normal. They would be unphased. You may not be aware of this but likely as an infant, toddler or young child that you did this and they were well aware. It's no big deal either way.
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So I am 16 and have recently discovered that I have a septate hymen. I've read about many options on how to get rid of it, but I don't know which is the best option. I don't want to tell my mom about it, but I want to go to my gyno. Can I still see my gyno without my mom finding out? (link)
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You really don't have anything to be embarrassed about. Your mother has changed your diapers and bathed you so in all likelihood she is aware of you having a septate hymen. However, she may not have been aware of the way to correct it.
I would talk to her about it and explain that it's difficult with menstruation and having what appears to be two vaginal openings. Let her know that a doctor can fix it and that you feel self-conscious and want to at least discuss medical options.
However, as the columnist below me mentioned at 14 you can see any doctor below in the U.S. to my understanding and ask them about this and get treatment. That said, it's a whole lot easier to deal with this kind of thing with a parent, guardian or adult you trust ie: older sibling, aunt, grandma who knows what this is like and feeling embarrassed.
Nobody you don't want to tell will ever know. Unless you are dying, delusional or of harm to self/others all is confidential between you and the doctor.
I would make the appointment with the gyno and either go with someone you trust to be in room to discuss or with mom knowing. She has the same anatomy as you do and believe me would understand what you are feeling and not judge. You would have an ally in her.
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14/f
Tomorrow im sleeping at my boyfriend and his friend is dating my friend. His friend told my friend that mt boyfriend is planning on having sex with me. Im a virgin. I want to because im always horny. Can anyone give me tips and advice? Positions? (link)
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I have to tell you that I really think you are rushing into something that you are not ready for yet. Always feeling horny due to hormones is NOT a good reason to have sex.
You should never rush into it and at least not without more information, being on birth control, protection and totally prepared. If you have doubts, anxiety or worries about doing this than that's your brain telling you not to.
While he may not want to hear (and tough if he doesn't) that you don't feel ready and want to wait he MUST respect this and there's nothing wrong with telling him that this won't happen tomorrow and you want to be prepared and totally comfortable with the idea and if you aren't he needs to be aware. If he loves you he will understand. If he doesn't it means you are with the wrong person.
The other potentially bad situation is being alone with him and sleeping at his house. I don't know how wise that is or what your parents would think or if they know of the arrangement.
Sex shouldn't happen due to hormones and constant surges. That's a bad reason. There are many ways to deal with this that do not involve having intercourse.
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Hiya! I am 21 and get horny more often than normal but I can't seem to give myself pleasure. It just cringes me out every time I finger myself or rub, I can't seem to enjoy it. But I enjoy it from my partner? It gets out of hand sometimes as I don't live with partner so have to wait till we both free for me to stay over a night. (link)
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I'm not sure what the term cringed out means. When I read your question I thought you meant that you can engage in the activity and suddenly have to stop because the intensity was too much. If it's that than trying a different way would resolve that.
If in fact you are grossed out or feel weird about doing this than don't. Along the way you must have had an adult tell you "nice girls don't do that" or made you to think what you were doing is bad. In fact it's quite normal and statistically 77% of women of all ages do it and that number may even be higher.
They just aren't talking about it. You can be adults you know and friends are all doing it. Certainly you are far from the only one. As a child of course it's not a sexual thing but rather them discovering body parts like their nose and that this feels good and comforting. It can be like that for adults too. Even if you are "horny" that's a perfectly normal thing to feel and this is a safe form of release and of dealing with stress.
I cannot say why you enjoy partner sex and not this activity. What I can recommend is to relax here and instead of stopping if you feel uneasy or grossed out is to continue instead and see that everything is A-okay. Perhaps if you did that a few times any hangups you had would fade. If you have a therapist or doctor you trust you could raise this topic with them.I'm pretty sure along the line someone gave you a negative view.
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