if my boyfriend is black with a big penis and im white and a virgin, will sex hurt extremely bad the first time or first few times?
I'll start by pointing out that your ethnicity is irrelevant here. The stereotype that black men have large penises doesn't always hold true (trust me) and regardless of size, sex is almost always painful for the first few times.
To help things, make sure you are completely relaxed and comfortable with the situation - tensed up muscles will only make things worse - and consider using a water-based lubricant such as KY Jelly.
I'll take this opportunity to remind you to practice safe sex. It would be sensible to begin some form of birth control before you start having sex and remember you should ALWAYS use a condom unless you are 100% sure that neither of you have any STIs. You can read about the various methods of contraception available here: http://www.fpa.org.uk/helpandadvice/contraception?gclid=CJXUs9jGobACFYQMfAodHzyHjw.
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my boyfriend is a meth user.. i am not.. i am 12 weeks pregnant will having sex with him hurt the fetus
As LM said, if he was using meth when you conceived (assuming he is the father) then there is a chance the foetus could be damaged as a result.
Regardless, why the Hell are you putting your unborn child at risk by staying with a drug user? Prolonged use of Methamphetamine can cause severe psychological and physical harm, which doesn't create an ideal environment for a baby.
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Love is relationship or sex?
Love does not always equate to relationships and sex, just like relationships and sex don't always equate to love.
But relationships and sex are infinitely better when you love the other person.
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how to know if a boy is vergin or not..............?
You ask him.
Yes, apparent inexperience isn't a reliable indicator. Some guys seem to know exactly what they're doing on their first time and some haven't got a clue on their hundredth.
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I am 19 years old and female. I decided, I don't want to have sex with just anybody but I'm talking to a guy and it always sparks the question in my head.
I want to be prepared of course but my main problem is, I have health problems. I get bacterial infections on a monthly basis and the doctors have no idea what the cause is yet. With this issue, I'm on antibiotics a lot. So much that I may become immune to them soon(thats another problem in itself) and I heard they interfere with the Pill.
I've never seen my "girl" doctor yet but I want to be prepared. Do you think she might just say, lay off Sex until i'm officially off the antibiotics? Or is there another form that the antibiotics won't interfere with?
I just want to note, I'm really not planning on having sex anytime soon but I still want to know. Just in case, situation.
Well done for being so sensible and thinking about contraception in advance.
Fortunately, there are several types of contraceptive methods which won't be affected by your antibiotics.
Here are your options :-
The mini-Pill (progestogen-only Pill, or POP):
Unlike the 'normal' Pill, which contains two hormones - progestogen and oestrogen - the mini-Pill only contains progestogen. If taken correctly it's 98-99% effective, making it slightly less effective than the Pill. The mini-Pill must be taken at exactly the same time every day in order for it to be effective and unlike the combined Pill, there are no breaks. The mini-Pill works by thickening the mucus of your cervix and the lining of the womb, making it difficult for sperm to reach the egg in the first place and for the egg to implant there if it does. In some women it may also stop ovulation (the release of eggs) altogether. You can find out more information about it here:
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Contraception/Pages/ThePOP.aspx
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/mini-pills.htm
IUD (the 'coil'):
'IUD' stands for 'intrauterine device'. The word 'intrauterine' means 'inside the womb'. The IUD is a small, t-shaped plastic device which is inserted into the womb via the vagina. IUDs are around 98% effective. You will have to get the IUD inserted by a trained professional and it is likely to be uncomfortable and painful. However, once it's in, it will last for 5-10 years and you will only need yearly check ups. The IUD prevents pregnancy in 3 ways - first it stops your partner's sperm from getting through your womb and into your tubes in the first place. It also alters the lining of your cervix, making it even tougher for the sperm. Finally, it thickens the lining of your womb, making it less likely to 'accept' an egg. The IUD can cause heavy, painful periods. You can read more about it here:
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/contraceptivecoil.htm
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Contraception/Pages/IUD.aspx
IUS (Mirena):
IUS stands for 'intrauterine system'. It is similar to the IUD in that it is inserted into the womb but unlike the IUD, the IUS also contains a hormone which can make periods lighter, shorter and less painful. For that reason it is often used to treat menopausal women and women with period problems. It's more effective than the IUD at over 99% and it will start working immediately. You can read more about it here:
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Contraception/Pages/IUS.aspx
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/contraceptive_ius_000244.htm
The implant:
The contraceptive implant is a small, plastic rod containing the hormone progestogen which is inserted under the skin on your upper arm. It is more than 99% effective and lasts up to 3 years. With the implant, you may find that your periods are heavy and painful or they may stop altogether. It's very difficult to predict in advance how it will react with your body but it can be removed at any time. Like other methods containing progestogen, it works by thickening the lining of the mucus of the cervix and the lining of the womb. You can read more about it here:
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Contraception/Pages/Contraceptiveimplant.aspx
The injection (Depo-provera):
The contraceptive injection is an injection containing progestogen. It works in much the same way as the implant, except instead of having a rod inserted under your skin, you have an injection in a muscle in your bottom. It is more than 99% effective and lasts up to 12 weeks. Similarly to the implant, the injection can affect your periods in different ways. It is also not to be used for longer than a couple of years as it can cause thinning of the bones and osteoporosis. You can read more about it here:
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Contraception/Pages/Contraceptiveinjection.aspx
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/contraceptiveinjection.htm
This page here also contains lots of information about choosing a contraceptive method and the factors to consider when doing so: http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Contraception/Pages/Whichmethodsuitsme.aspx
Your doctor will be able to go through your options with you and give you further information but it's good to be prepared. Have a look through the information and see what you think looks best to you. Everyone is different and prefer different things from contraception. For example, do you want something you don't have to worry about on a daily basis? If so then the mini-Pill probably isn't for you. Do you want something which will stop your periods altogether? If so, you probably won't be considering the IUD.
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i am easily agitated, have very strong overwhelming emotons that cause physical pain pretty much everywhere in my body and occasionally nausea. i have had thoughts about suicide as much as it pains me to admit it. i dont seem to have prolonged days or weeks of sadness or joy but almost everyday i am either overly happy and hyper or so sad and upset that i cant seem to stop crying and my body wont seem to stop convulsing because i cry so hard. some days i will be in a great mood and then the next i just want to disappear forever. i constantly find myself saying things to myself about how unpretty i am and how i dont deserve to be in this earth and then some days i look in the mirror and think i look kinda pretty. please tell me if i sound bipolar and provide additional info if you can. thanks.
I recently answered a similar question on Bipolar Disorder here:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=592726
From there:
'Bipolar disorder (also known as manic depression) is characterised by mood swings that can last days, weeks or months. During a manic episode a sufferer may make impulsive decisions such as quitting their job or making large purchases, sleep very little, talk faster than usual and seem generally hyperactive. They also may engage in reckless behaviour, such as inappropriate sexual activity or gambling. During a depressive episode, the sufferer will feel hopeless, so exhausted they may not be able to get out of bed and will often suffer from sleep and weight problems. Suicidal thoughts or actions are also common.
In extreme cases, someone with bipolar may also suffer from mixed episodes, where symptoms of depression are combined with racing thoughts and hyperactivity.
My Mum was diagnosed with bipolar around three years ago and we had absolutely no suspicions at all before that, we just thought she was depressed. Many people assume that bipolar is just constant mood swings but this isn't necessarily the case. My Mum will go through long periods of being very, very depressed followed by short bursts of intense happiness. During those times she will spend alot of money and come up with unrealistic and sometimes crazy ideas.'
The only person who you will be able to diagnose you is an appropriately medically trained professional. Although you may well be displaying symptoms of a certain illness, you will still need a proper diagnosis. I suggest you make an appointment with your doctor, who will probably refer you to a specialist doctor/psychiatrist.
If you are having suicidal thoughts now then you should either call the emergency services number for your country or a crisis hotline in order to get immediate assistance. In the USA you can call a suicide & crisis hotline (http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html) on 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-TALK (1-800-273-8255). In the UK you can call the Samaritans (http://www.samaritans.org/) on 08457 90 90 90. You can find international hotline numbers here: http://suicidehotlines.com/international.html
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17/f
About three weeks ago, I had sex for the first time. We used a condom, and there were no signs that it broke or leaked. Here's my concern: my period was due a week and a half ago. Could it have something to do with a hormone change? Im just really nervous that i may be pregnant.
Thanks so much for any help you can give me
The chances are slim but it is possible. I'd take a test to be on the safe side.
Sometimes periods just like to tease us. Lots of things can cause your period to be late or even skip a month altogether, including stress (and yes, worrying about being pregnant counts as stress) and hormonal or lifestyle changes. It's usually nothing to worry about.
If you're going to be having sex regularly, then it might be time to think about starting some form of birth control such as the Pill, injection, implant or coil. These forms are very effective and can be used in conjunction with condoms for extra protection. Some forms of birth control (especially the Pill) will also help regulate your periods, so you won't have to deal with the stress if it's late again.
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I'm 15 and I am only 4"10 and i wont be growing more because my parents are short...anyways I was wondering if I were to have sex(when I'm older) will the guy be able to fit in me and will it hurt more becuase i'm so small?
I'm 19 and I'm only 5"0', which isn't much taller than you. I can assure you that I haven't had any more problems than my taller friends when it comes to having sex. Sex is usually painful for females the first few times or when you first start having sex with a particularly well endowed male. While it's true that some girls do have abnormally tight vaginas, there is treatment available for this problem and as far as I'm aware, it isn't linked to height. Remember that your vagina is designed to fit a baby through it, regardless of your height.
Females don't stop growing until around the age of 18. So while it's unlikely that you'll suddenly shoot up and be really tall, there's a good chance you'll gain another few inches yet.
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so there's this guy from college and we like each other but we aren't an item.we are planning on going for a movie and probably hitting first and second base.he says he wants to think about sex but i say its too early for it.also he says its the first time he's talking to a gurl about this things.what should i do?
Are you asking what the legal minimum age is or what age we think is okay?
The age of consent varies depending on where you live. In the US, it is 17 or 18 depending on which state you're in. In Canada and the UK it's 16. You can find out what the age of consent is in the country you live in here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_consent#Ages_of_consent_in_various_countries
Regardless, if you don't want to have sex then don't do it. I lost my virginity at 16, which happens to be the legal age of consent for where I live and to be perfectly honest, I wish I'd waited. However, I have friends who lost their virginity before they were 16 who don't regret it at all. And then I have friends who are still virgins at 18 or 19. The age of consent isn't supposed to be the age you HAVE to have sex but the age at which you are deemed legally responsible and mature enough to. When YOU actually feel ready to is your decision.
I'm not one to preach that sex belongs to the confines of a loving relationship but it should at least be with someone who respects you. Tell this guy you aren't ready for sex. If he doesn't respect your decision then he isn't the kind of guy you want to be having sex with anyway. Never let yourself be pressured into anything you don't want to do. It is your right to say no.
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The last time i had sex was about 2 weeks ago, and altough the guy washed off each time we had sex, i never went pee or washed off or anything. A few days ago i noticed some wierd odor coming from down there, i googled if it could be a uti or a yeast infection, but it doesn't hurt to urinate, nor does it itch. I notice some light burning, but not too much. The main problem is the smell and that's the only symptom pretty much. What could it be? I don't know if i should go get it checked out or to relax and see if the odor fades.
UTI, yeast infection, STI, nothing at all..whatever it is you need to go and see your doctor to make sure everything's okay and to get any necessary treatment. Yes, there's a possibility that the odour will just go away on its own but if it is something nasty, it's not worth the risk.
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17/F
My boyfriend of 8 months and I just had sex for the first time yesterday. At first it took a while, because I was a virgin and my hymen hadn't broke yet. It hurt a little, and I was bleeding afterward. It's now the day after; It doesn't hurt anymore, but it's still bleeding. Is that normal? Thanks a bunch! :)
It's normal to bleed a little for a couple of days after you've had sex for the first few times. If the bleeding continues and it's not your period then you might want to visit your doctor to make sure nothing is wrong.
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Okay so I'm in a wicked sticky situation. There's this guy and he is absolutely the hottest thing you will ever set your eyes on. (: He's not all that tall but I don't mind cause I'm only 5'1". But he's got blond hair, amazing brown eyes and a body that kills. I am so attracted to him and the other day he asked me, If I wanted to have sex with him. I was like "YES" but, the only place we could do it would be in our highschool, Risky I know. But I really want too. I've already lost my virginity so it's not like the first time I have sex will be in a school bathroom but just.. any thoughts? should I do it? thanks.
Don't do it.
If you get caught, you will almost certainly be suspended from school, possibly on a permanent basis. Your parents would also be informed. If the school allows you to stay, you will have a bad reputation with staff and students alike until the end of your high school career.
If you're prepared to risk your education for a sleazy quickie in a toilet then go for it.
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this site is typical right wing bunkum. people come to these sites for quick an relatively painless ways of committing suicide, not to be told "no, don't do it, u have so much to live for!!!!!!!!!!" Believe me, most of us have already thought through the alternatives, been to numerous councellors, tried antidepressants etc. these treatments just don't work for everyone. Just offer practical solutions for those who have made the moral right to choose to end their lives, or shut the hell up and stay off this forum!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm definitely not right wing. But then again, I'm a young Politics student so I'm not allowed to be.
Right wing or not, no one here is going to tell people how to kill themselves and if they do, they get banned and the answer deleted. We are an advice site, not a suicide how-to. I'm sure there are people on this website who believe it is ethical to help people end their lives but like it or not, suicide is illegal. This website doesn't support law breaking, whether that be underage sex, drug taking or murder and we don't tolerate people who encourage illegal behaviour.
Those who are considering suicide are almost always suffering from a mental illness, including depression. As a result, they are unlikely to be thinking straight and are desperate. It's immoral to take a very vulnerable person and give them tips on how to kill themselves. If someone wants to know how to do it, they can use Google. The fact is, most of the people posting the 'I want to kill myself' questions often just want support, kind words and to be told not to. If they were really, really that desperate to end their lives, they wouldn't bother posting a question on here and waiting for answers.
If you are looking for someone to give you a 'practical solution' on how to end your life then I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place. If you'd like some advice on what to do next and where to get help and further support for your depression then there are plenty of people on here who are willing to do so.
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Does mastrubation hampers our health in any ways if it is done frequently?does it cause pimples on the skin or will it make a person go weak or skinny?please advice..
No, no, no and no.
The only way masturbation will ever harm you is if you do it in inappropriate places (like at work, or a childrens' playground..) or if it starts to take over your life.
Masturbation is a completely natural, normal, healthy way of exploring your sexuality and your body.
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i'm 18 and still a virgin. i'm definetly not ashamed of it, actually i'm kinda proud. its not like i'm ugly, actually alot of people are surprised or don't believe me that i'm still a virgin i just refuse to give my virginity to someone who doesn't deserve it and i haven't met anyone worth giving it to yet (i know i'm old fashioned but whatever). i've had a few boyfriends and definetly many opportunities but i just didn't want to. but i feel like everyone my age and even a little younger has had sex. when i hang out with certain friends thats all they talk about. i mean somethings i can contribute because i've done everything else except actual intercourse. but i just feel like i'm alone. is there anyone out there my age virgins?
It's much better to remain a virgin until you feel good and ready than to regret having sex. I, along with plenty of my friends, have really regretted at least a couple of sexual encounters and it's not a nice feeling.
I've also got lots of friends who are still virgins and I'm 19. It's no big deal, people who care about that kind of stuff and use it against you aren't the kind of people you want to be spending time with.
You should be proud of yourself.
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So, I've been on birth control for almost two years now and never had a problem with it. My boyfriend and I don't use protection because of my BC. I know its not 100%, but we use the pull out method. Recently we've stopped doing that every once in awhile. What are the chances of me getting pregnant with/without the pull out method?
Many women in relationships choose not to use condoms when they're on the Pill as unless their partner is unfaithful, there isn't a risk of catching an STI. When taken correctly, the Pill is over 99% effective at preventing pregnancy. This means that less than 1 woman in every 100 will get pregnant in a year. In other words, as long as you are taking your birth control at the same time every day, are not on antibiotics and don't have any sickness or diarrhea then the chances of you conceiving are very slim.
However, there is still a chance, however small and the pull out method isn't always effective either. It's up to you to decide whether or not you want to risk the small chance but if you are worried, it might be a good idea to use condoms as a back up.
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Okay so I'm a 19 year old female. A little history on my situation. There is this guy that is apart of the hip hop company with me in a professional dance company. He has made it very obvious that he has feelings for me and has even told me this. I get creeped out by him because he is so straight forward. He will text me asking what I'm wearing like every night, and he is just a creep. Anyway, last night one of the girls in our dance company had a party. I am usually not a partier but since it was with this group of people I did not see the big deal. I took about 6 shots if not more and needless to say I was very drunk. Everyone knows how much I get creeped out by this guy and regardless of this fact they left me alone with him. I passed out on my friends bed and when I woke up I was on her couch and he was on top of me. We started making out for a long time which I know was stupid on my part but I was so drunk that it didn't even matter. The next thing I know he took off my pants and started fingering me. I am unfortunately not a very outspoken person and I didn't tell him to stop. Before I knew it he was trying to have sex with me. I wasn't sure what was going on until I felt him go inside of me and again I just kind of laid there not knowing what to do. I know that this is all my fault because I didn't say no....... but he knew how drunk I was and I just feel so taken advantage of. To make it worse, this is how I lost my virginity...... I need to talk to him and let him know that that was not okay. I have to see him on a regular basis and I just don't know what I should say to him.... I feel SO stupid about this situation. I am a girl who never gets mixed up in this type of drama. I have talked to many of my friends about it, but I need outside advice.......
I have been in a similar situation. The trouble is, because you didn't actually say 'no' (and neither did I), everything gets a little hazy.
The first thing you need to do is book yourself in for an STD test. If you miss your next period, you should also take a pregnancy test. It's unlikely this guy used a condom.
I second Razhie's notion that he does not deserve a face to face confrontation. In my situation, I sent the guy a message on Facebook. I'd strongly recommend threatening to report him to the police. You don't have to follow through with it, but it will shake him up and make him understand the severity of what he did. Make it very clear that you are uncomfortable and that you want nothing else to do with him.
The fact that you are in a dance company with him bothers me. Is there anyone in charge who you can make aware of the situation? If you'd rather not give them the details, could you at least tell them that this guy is making you feel uncomfortable? If there is any way you can be separated from him it'd probably be a good idea to do it. I know that every time I saw the guy who did this to me I felt physically sick. You don't deserve to be made to feel uncomfortable at work.
You might find it helpful to talk to someone about what happened to help you get over it. A friend or even a professional counciller - if you go to school/college there will probably be one you can see for free.
Try to learn from this. It's all too easy to do things we regret when we drink and the results are often negative. I actually gave up drinking for a long time after it happened to me. Obviously you don't have to do that but you should be aware of your surroundings and the people you are with when you drink and preferably ensure you are not left alone.
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If you give head to a guy at a party while your boyfriend is not there does that mean you cheated on your boyfriend? Yeah, the guy was really hot but it's not like we had sex or anything. I didn't even let him finger me! My boyfriend is really pissed and won't talk to me now but I really can't see his reasoning or point of view. I've done this a few times before but I haven't told him about it and regret telling him this time. Do you think giving a blow job is REALLY cheating? I mean, come on...it's like...kissing...sort of...I don't see a problem.
If your boyfriend performed oral sex on someone else, would you be upset?
If your answer is yes, then why on Earth should it be any different when the roles are reversed?
If no, then you need to find a boyfriend who doesn't mind an open relationship.
Either way, your boyfriend has every right to be upset. Of course this is cheating! Personally, I consider cheating to be anything I wouldn't do if my boyfriend was there to see it. That could be anything from flirting to full sex. I think you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who wouldn't consider oral sex cheating.
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What would happen if my boyfriend wore 2 condoms instead of one? would that make it more safe? what exactly would happen?
It would actually be less safe than using one.
The friction created as the condoms rub together can cause tears and holes, making them less effective.
Stick to one.
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im not a lesbian AT ALL.
i like men and im straightttt...
im 18 years years old and i have a best friend whose a girl who im ALWAYS WITH. i have never been attracted to her or never ever made a move on her and she never made a move on me but we got really drunk together and we made out!!!! we were naked a we made out and ending up going really far...
she went down on me and i went down on her and we fingered each other.
it was so weird....
were laughing it off now but idk i feel so weird about it and cant stop thinking about it.
im not gay but ew i feel so weird.
what do i do?
why dud this happen?
how do i fix this?
Experimentation is pretty normal when you're young. Like you said, you were drunk, these things happen.
Chalk it up to experience and if it made you feel weird, don't do it again. We all do things we regret. As long as your friendship hasn't been damaged you have nothing to worry about. You said you are laughing it off so hopefully that's an indication that it didn't change anything between you.
If you're concerned about your sexuality then you need to have a think about it. If you've never been attracted to girls before then it could just be a genuine drunken mistake. If you've always considered yourself straight but are now having second thoughts, it could be that you are bisexual. Or you could just be curious. From the sounds of things though, it was just a one-off experimentation thing and nothing more.
Eventually the weird feeling will wear off.
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