No, death is never the answer. I can understand that you're in a lot of pain, but believe me, committing suicide is NOT the answer.

The first thing I want you to do is IMMEDIATELY call a suicide hotline in your area. Please verify where you live. If you live in the US, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at
(800) 273-8255 -- Follow the link below to find a crisis center in your area.

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/getinvolved/locator

You are still young. I can see that your sister is not doing enough to support you emotionally- she might have issues of her own, and they have nothing to do with you. You need someone to talk to, someone who will listen to you. Call the number above, or check out the website to find a location. You can go in free and anonymously-- your family will NOT know, it is your own private issue.

I know that things are really difficult for you now, but they don't have to be forever. The first thing for you to do is TALK TO SOMEONE at the Suicide Prevention hotline or crisis center---there are professionals there who are in a position to handle these kinds of issues. The second thing is, talk to them consistently, and go do things you enjoy. Get out of your house as much as you can, try to take extra classes or take part in activities/volunteer work that will give you a sense of purpose and allow you to meet new people. You don't need to allow your sister's problems to affect you to this extent. Staying at home all the time will only drive you deeper into a depression.

Just please, PLEASE don't give up hope! Know that your life is valuable, and you are a valuable person.... people go through terrible things and come out stronger, once they have overcome the issues. Reach out to me if you need to.

That does not qualify you as a prostitute, since no money was involved. If you had specifically asked him for money in exchange, then yeah, you would have prostituted yourself.

But honestly, the bigger issue here is that you fantasize about being a prostitute and have engaged in something risky- I mean, who knows where that guy's been? You could contract an STD (http://std.about.com/od/riskfactorsforstds/a/oralsexsafesex.htm), like Herpes. ALWAYS use protection, and get tested.

Being a prostitute, even for a little while, is demoralizing and degrading; you should celebrate your sexuality instead of objectifying yourself. Unfortunately, if you were to hypothetically ask any number of people the first word to pop into their head when they hear the word transsexual, prostitute might come to mind. I don't really know why- maybe it's the media? Or the fact that many transgendered individuals are marginalized, and are thus at a disadvantage when it comes to employment, and find it difficult to afford expensive hormone therapy, for example.

definitely read this article, it's eye-opening:

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=3156598&page=1

My point through all of this is, do not allow yourself to fall into the whole 'transgendered prostitute' trap. You can defy the stereotype, even if a life as a prostitute appeals to you. It's ugly, it's dirty, it's demoralizing and objectifies individuals. There is so much more you could do with your life- you are 22, and to just throw your life out the window is out of question.

You could raise awareness of the LGBT community, by volunteering for a cause, attending talks, taking part in events, etc., and in essence, advocate for yourself and others like you. You are the way you are, and that is a cause for celebration. You made a conscious choice to be transsexual, and I commend you for that- it is by no means an easy decision to make, and really, you are living out your true colors, so bravo. Do not throw your life away. Being a transsexual prostitute- is that really what you want? Fantasy should not be turned into reality, if it harms you. Do something positive with your life.

Most likely, it's older blood- and usually appears mid-cycle, or when your period is almost over. Clotting is normal, depending on how much clotting you have, and how big the clots are. If you notice they are exceptionally large (the size of, say, a quarter, or larger), and you get them all the time, you should talk to your doctor or gynecologist, as it might be a sign of polycystic ovarian syndrome. Not to worry you- there are medications, that can help keep it at bay.

Most likely, you have normal clotting, and the brownish blood is just old blood that has passed through. You should see if your clotting is excessively frequent and/or large, and if so, see a doctor.

She has hopefully already taken Plan B, if not, go with her to Planned Parenthood, or a clinic, and get it for her. Like others have said, it can work up to three days after unprotected sex--
and today is the three day mark. But I'm assuming she's already taken it.

I (female) have been in the same situation, and believe me, it is absolutely gut wrenching to think you might be pregnant. Support is the key- you really have to be there for her. Having someone there to listen and comfort her will make the difference between being totally alone and worried, to knowing that you're in it together, and things will work out fine. At this point, she might be worried that Plan B (assuming she's taken it) did not work..she still has to wait a bit to find out if she is pregnant (which is unlikely). In about 10-14 days, offer to take her to a clinic or planned parenthood, so she can get a pregnancy test. If she wants to talk to a nurse, see if she wants you to be there with her. Remind her that you will be there for her, and that things will work out. She needs you there--you both are in this together- it's not just her issue to deal with. She might want to consider going on birth control, especially if you two are in a committed relationship.

In all likelihood, if she has already taken plan B, she is probably not pregnant. Again, she has to get a pregnancy test at a clinic or gynecologist ( and not just a home pregnancy test) to make completely sure. If the condom broke due to lack of lubrication- then she either needs more foreplay, or you might want to use some lube beforehand. Or maybe you did not pinch the resevoir (tip) to get all the air out beforehand? Whatever the reason, learn what not to do next time, so you can avoid this situation. I know how much it sucks.

It's absolutely normal to become bored with sex, or anything else for that matter. It doesn't mean that you don't care for your boyfriend; some things just start getting old. I think that you might have gotten bored of the same old, so I suggest you and your boyfriend start trying different stuff out. I cannot give exact pointers, but you can try different positions, fantasies, sex toys, etc., anything that makes you feel more in the mood. You don't have to tell him that you're bored of sex- it's a much better idea to randomly try something out, like maybe a striptease or different position, and see how both of you like it. If he asks, you can just say that you'd like to try different things to add variety and turn both of you on more.

It's always a good idea to experiment and try new things in the bedroom- we simply are not programmed to enjoy the same exact thing, time and again, mostly because it's no longer novel and we know what to expect. Oh, and as for your second question, if you were thinking about the video you watched while having sex, then chances are it affected your mood and took your mind off of what mattered- the sex. You should not focus on anything stressful, boring, etc., while having sex-- relax, take your mind off things, and focus solely on making you and your boyfriend feel good.

Unfortunately, those two scumbags are the only ones who know exactly what happened, since you were supposedly too drunk to remember anything. How drunk were you, really? They could have slipped something in your drink. Do not keep this to yourself- tell a trusted adult, or at least a nurse who can guide you in the right direction. If they did, in fact, even TRY to rape you, they can be arrested.

Now, down to the details. Do you honestly think that someone who has a history of raping/trying to rape girls is going to be honest with you? Saying that they would not try anything, since they didn't have a condom, is total bullshit. Nothing would get in their way- they don't give half a shit about you. Also, a HUGE warning sign is that these two tried to rape your friend before at a party- "supposedly??" NO. Shit like that does not "supposedly" happen.

LISTEN. You HAVE to do the following- don't think that you can put all this behind you, and that it won't bother you years down the line. It can, and it will. What you have to do now, is look after yourself. You cannot allow them to get away with their bullshit- it can happen to other girls too, you know.

so,:

1) File a police report immediately. Any and all details you have can help (i.e., their age, names, what they look like, what gym you saw them at, and what do you remember from that night). Think long and hard about ALL the details you can possibly think of, and do NOT keep anything to yourself.

2) Please, if you haven't already, DO NOT wash yourself down there just yet. Whatever you have with you can possibly help- clothes, etc., Go to a gyno/doctor/nurse or whatever, get thoroughly examined. They can find traces of semen as supporting evidence, cause honey, these two might have raped you.

3) Tell someone- a counselor, trusted parent/adult, friend. You need support. You might be in denial or shock now, but this might come back to hurt you down the line.

4) Go get plan B (morning after pill at a clinic or planned parenthood- better safe than sorry)- it is effective up to 3 days after unprotected sex. Then, assuming this is a recent incident, wait about 2 weeks, and go get a pregnancy test at the doctor's office, gyno., or planned parenthood or other free clinic.

5) Get screened for STD's- no matter how worried/scared you are. If you got something, it might not even have symptoms, and can cause irreversible damage to your reproductive organs if left untreated. Get tested for Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Herpes, etc...all you have to do is go to planned parenthood or your gyno, and ask for STD screening- they'll ask some questions, and do a swab and urine test.

6) After 6 months, GO get tested for HIV- with guys like them, you never know. Many clinics offer free testing.

You do not know anything about these guys aside from the fact that they're 18 and in college. All the warning signs indicate that you may very well have been raped: they tried to rape your friend (people don't just make that shit up), you feel sore down there---- and honey, guys like them, why would they care about only fingering you?? they were with you PURELY for their OWN benefit---getting laid. , you felt SORE. Please wake up, you were probably raped. This is a good commentary on an online newspaper (Guardian, UK), by a woman who was raped, and too drunk/traumatized:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/may/16/experience-rape

I know how hard this is on you, but you have to do something (well, lots of things). Seriously, if it helps, make a checklist, or even print out this advice. Literally do everything that I suggested, one by one. Think of it this way: if you keep this to yourself, you are only allowing them, and guys like them, to get away with their shit...which means more girls to screw over. For future reference- avoid sketchy guys like them AT ALL COSTS. They're only bad news.

You just have to be patient with her. If she isn't really responding to sex, she is not ready yet. You two have only been dating a few months- she seems like she needs to really get to know you and feel totally comfortable before she takes things further. Of course she felt upset when you told her you would just watch porn and masturbate, since she isn't having sex with you. There is nothing wrong with doing that, but she was right to be bothered when you told her - basically, the message she got from it was that you are not being patient with her.

It is okay to bring these things up with her- it is important. But there is a certain way to go about it. You have to be patient and supportive of her choice- and if you cannot possibly wait, then be honest with yourself, and see if she is really the one you want. If she is, you will have to wait. If not, then maybe you need to move on. Only you know the answer.

Do you guys do other things? Make out? If you guys aren't doing ANYTHING, she might have intimacy issues. You should be honest with her (and also very nice), and ask her if there is any reason why she does not physically take things further- communication is the key to any healthy relationship. You are sexually frustrated, and she may or may not have her own personal issues....the only way to clear things up with her is to talk to her.

Just like the columnist below mentioned, Plan B can seriously mess with your cycle- it's like taking a super high dose of birth control. Chances are, your period is off, and might be for a little while. It wouldn't hurt to wait another week and get a pregnancy test, just to be sure, as plan B is not 100% effective, more like 95% or so...you can never be too sure though. Don't only take a home pregnancy test- go see a gyno., or go to a planned parenthood clinic for a urine test. It's very stressful to think that there is even a slight chance of being pregnant- chances are you aren't, but if even just to ease your mind, go get tested.

How many is too many? There is no answer to that question. You slept with lots of guys- but that really isn't the issue. What matters is the reason you are going after the sex in the first place.

You have sex because it makes you feel "wanted and accepted." People do different things to please people: have sex, flatter people, shower people with gifts, etc., etc. People sometimes do these things to feel wanted. These are very unhealthy and destructive habits. You see sex as a way of feeling close to someone. Sex with people you hardly know gives you a false sense of security and belonging.

You have to look at the root of the problem, and work on that. My feeling is that you feel insecure and need attention because you might feel lonely or lack emotional attachment. Insecurity manifests itself in different ways. It might lead someone to care too much about what others think, or to always try pleasing people (for the same reason). For you, sex is a way of trying to please other guys and to get them to want you, because you might care too much about what they want and not what YOU need. Sex for you is also a way of feeling loved. You are not going to get love from people you hardly know.

You need to focus primarily on yourself. Sleeping around will not make you feel wanted or accepted. If sex actually met that aim, you would not be sleeping around. It only takes one guy to make you feel wanted. Just like expensive things will not ultimately make you happy, sleeping around will not ultimately give you love. Focus on doing meaningful things (anything really) that truly makes you happy. Make a rule of thumb for yourself when it comes to sex...for example, no sex for at least __ month(s). Or make it clear that you will not have sex with anyone new until you feel totally comfortable with them, and stick to that goal.

Build up your confidence, and you will see that you don't need to have sex all the time to be happy.

1) It depends entirely on the person. Some girls like it, some don't care, some don't like it...I personally don't like it, and only prefer it to be hygienice/trimmed.

2) If you are going to shave, make sure you have been in the shower for at least a few minutes to let the hair soften. Use a good razer- nothing worn out or rusty, and shaving cream (or even conditioner). Make sure to shave in the opposite direction of hair growth (upwards).

There is nothing wrong with that- if it was just once, there is very little chance of getting an infection. Next time, make sure to wash it (or anything else you might use) with soap and hot water, before and after you masturbate. Also, like other said, make sure whatever you use is smooth and has no chance of causing injury.

To add to the answer below, always keep yourself groomed down there (periodically trim/shave). To try preventing razor burn, frequently dispose your old razors, as dull blades can cause you to shave harder than you should, leading to irritation. Also, don't store your razor in the shower, as the moisture can cause the blade to rust. If you must, dry it off after shaving. Also, before shaving, wait at least a couple of minutes under warm water to allow the hair to soften...that helps prevent irritation.

It probably doesn't feel as good because you already know what to expect. Like the person below said, you can try having him use more than one finger, or tell him to go faster and see if you like that more. One tip- the whole up/down thing isn't exactly the greatest, so you can tell him to do the " come here" motion with his finger.

Putting a tampon in does not necessarily break the hymen. There is no comparison between a tampon and penis. I have been using tampons for years, and it still hurt when I had sex the first time. The first time hurts for most girls, regardless of if you've used a tampon or not. Even if you have partially torn your hymen when putting in a tampon, the penis will stretch the vaginal area out anyway, so it is bound to hurt. The best you can do is be totally ready (emotionally and physically), and be worked up enough before actually having sex, so that it will hurt less. But all of this depends on the girl- but bottom line is that using a tampon means nothing when it comes to having sex.

Yes, even a little bit of penetration is still sex. A lot of people's first time doesn't last very long.
You did mention that you don't think he cummed- there is no way for you to know unless he tells you. Even if he didn't come, pre-cum is still chock full of sperm, so you need to use a condom every single time to prevent pregnancy- better yet, if you think you are going to continue having sex from now on, consider also going on birth control.
You should monitor your period to make sure there is no possibility of pregnancy, since precum could still get you pregnant. Not to worry you, but wait a couple weeks and go get a pregnancy test- there are many planned parenthood clinics around the country that offer free testing (plannedparenthood.com).
Next time (and every other time), make sure to use a condom...CORRECTLY. It would be helpful for you to check out condom instructions (w/drawings) online, so you know exactly how to use one. Some people skip on an important step, which could lead to breakage. You can even go practice using one, even on a banana (sounds silly, but is helpful). Planned Parenthood also provides free condoms.

Do not get circumcised to appeal more to women- frankly, most women do not care whether or not their partner is circumcised. This is a very important decision that most men never make. Certain religions, namely Judaism and Islam, require male infants to become circumcised, so obviously any Jewish or Muslim male is already circumcised, though not by choice. The point is that most guys who have a circumcised penis did not have a choice in the matter and were little babies (probably only several months old) when the ritual took place. Some people voluntarily have the pediatrician circumcise their baby boy for other reasons. But there is no substantial benefit to having a circumcised penis. If you ever encounter a woman who is outwardly put off by your uncircumcised penis (note: women like that are more often than not judgmental and rude with these matters), do not take it to heart. You will meet someone, who like most mature women, couldn't care less.

To add, here's a link from Yahoo answers that discusses this topic- scroll down to the third answer by "Ms. X," it has some useful information and opinions:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071025170836AAqAL1S

Yes, that's true. In most cases, antibodies will show up within three months, but it is recommended to wait six months after possible exposure to get a completely accurate result. Tests are extremely accurate, so if you've been tested after six months and have a negative result, you should not be worried. Health clinics offer free HIV testing, so does Planned Parenthood. If you feel that you have been at risk of contracting HIV, by all means, go out and get tested.

If you feel you are at risk of exposure, get tested after six months to be safe. Always take precautions to protect yourself, whether sexually or otherwise. Condoms are very effective at preventing HIV transmission via vaginal, anal and oral sex. It is also recommended that IV drug users never share needles with others. These are the reasons HIV/AIDS education is imperative. There are lots of useful sites online.

A number of things can cause irregular periods, with stress being a common factor. It could be hormonal, so it's best to talk to a doctor or gynecologist about it to be absolutely sure. They could take a blood test and ask about your health history, in order to properly assess your particular situation. No body can tell you for sure, especially not online. If you skip your period, or if it does not come relatively regularly, then you should talk to a gyno. It's normal for your period to come late once in a while, but if you skip it one month, or it's consistently irregular (as in more than a week late, for a couple of months or more), then you should consult a doctor.

Also, to be safe, always use a condom every time you have sex, and consider going on the pill.

You should get a blood test to determine if you have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome- it sounds scary, but it just means you get recurrent cysts on your ovaries. It is important to determine if you do have it, so that your doctor can prescribe medication to you. It is best to take medications to control the cysts, if you happen to be prone to getting ovarian cysts. You can become infertile later on down the line if you let it get worse. Do not worry though, this could just be a single cyst and is unlikely to affect your fertility. However, since you already had one cyst, you have no way of knowing if there are others, and if you need to control it with medication to prevent any bursts, or even damage to the ovaries. It's best for you to go to your doctor and ask for them to test you for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, just to be sure.

Honesty is the best policy, especially when dealing with a doctor. Being in a gyno's office isn't the most comfortable place to let go, but if you do not voice your concerns and let her/him know how you feel, there is no way they will know how to help you out. If you have any questions or concerns, your gyno is there to help and advise you.

They are going to do a pelvic exam (pap smear), so it will feel a bit weird, but not painful. You should relax as best you can so that your pelvic muscles are relaxed (it'll be easier or you and the gyno). Before you have the annual exam, request that your gyno checks for the common STDs, especially Chlamydia and Gonorrhea (bacterial infections)- they will know exactly what to do. It is MUCH safer for women to find out early on if they do have an STD, as not getting effective treatment can lead to other health concerns (especially reproductive health). Don't be scared. Just be totally honest with your gyno., and let them know that you want to be checked for STDs. They deal with these things ALL the time.

Most likely you are fine and are just worked up since you don't know what to expect. Your gyno will likely be very understanding and can help you out with all your concerns. Just make sure that you always have safe sex, and go in for your annual gyno exam. You will be fine.

I am here to give honest advice, when I feel I have something to contribute. I try to be as empathetic and understanding as I can, as I know that the way something is said is as important as the message itself.

I usually advise on love/relationships, friendship and family issues, nutrition, and health (mental and physical). If I feel I can help out, there's not a whole lot I am unwilling to answer. Ask away!

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