Q: I have been talking to a friend of my brothers for a few months now. We have been hanging out for the past couple weeks. The first time we had sex was almost four weeks ago. I haven't gotten my period since, and I have been feeling a little nauseous. I told him over the weekend that I might be pregnant and he told me he's not ready for a baby and it's bad timing because we are not really dating, but he would be there for me if it's definitely his kid. My brother found out about us hanging out and he told me to be careful because he said he's really shady and he doesn't want him to hurt me. I don't know whether to believe my brother or not because he really seems like a great guy. I don't know what to do. If I am pregnant, I'm horrified that he's going to leave and my family is going to disown me. And I don't know whether or not to take my brothers warnings seriously. I just need a little advice. What should I do about both of these things?

Q: My mom married a much younger guy last year, and living with him has been awkward because he flirts with me when my mom's not around. Yesterday when my mom was at work I was sitting on the couch watching a movie with my little brother and sister, they were sitting on the floor. My step dad came and sat by me. He put his hands in between my thighs over my jeans and started touching my breasts. He did while my sister and brother were sitting on the floor with their backs to us and it was dark. When he did that I was scared . I told him to stop and he told me not to tell him to stop. My sister & brother were watching the loud movie, so they weren't paying attention to us on the couch. I tried pushing him away and moving. He kept on bothering me the whole time and I was scared to get up and when my mom got home I went in my room. I never feel comfortable around him. He'll put his hand on my waist, rub my stomach and get too close to me in front of my mom and it feels uncomfortable, and he's always saying "You're beautiful" My mom thinks he's playing around. And he looks at me with perverted eyes, all the time. i know my mom loves him so much and I know she wont believe me & she'll stay with him because he has money and we have nowhere else to go. She has stayed with him even though he beat her up before.

Q: Hello, I need help with my relationship with my mother. I am 18 and I feel as though we are growing more distant and hostile towards each other. I feel as though every time I do something wrong (which I will freely admit I am guilty of), my mother and I over react to each others response and it just ends in a shouting match. We continue to do this (and have done so for years) and I can certainly say it is not pleasant for either of us. It has gotten to the point that I am reluctant to talk with her as it almost always ends with one of us upset and angry at the other.

I am not writing this because they took my phone or Xbox or something and I am just complaining because they are unreasonable. I'm here because I need some genuine advice on how to communicate openly with my mother about why this always happens.

I know I am not the perfect son, but I feel as though the instant I do something wrong, we just get into it.

I can't stand to be angry all the time anymore.

Q: Please don't think I'm a bad person. I know this is such an awful question to ask and I would never ask it if I was adopting a baby. I don't really see the difference between a baby you have and a baby you adopt, but imagine that you were adopting an older child. Like a pre-teen? I'm asking because that's the situation I may be in.

I want to love this kid more than my life. I want to take this child who has never been loved by anyone before and shower him with love. I want to love him so much that I would die for him without even having to think about it. However, what would it say about me to love him as much as my other kids who have been with me since I held their little naked bodies in my arms shortly after their births? What would it say about me if I didn't?

As I'm writing this, I realize that it sounds much worse than it did in my head. I don't blame you if you think I'm a jerk, but while I feel capable of loving this kid as much as any other, I wonder if it will say very little about my relationship with my other kids. What would it say if a new kid could come along an automatically mean as much to me as they did? What would it say about me if I took this kid in and didn't give him the love he needs so badly and has been deprived of all his life?

Also, I find myself treating the kids differently. For example, one of my sons was going to get a dirt bike for Christmas, but I've been wondering if I should get him one or not. They can be so dangerous and I'd biting my nails every time he used it, worrying that he'd get hurt. However, I when I thought about getting the new kid a dirt bike, I didn't have a problem with it. I don't want him to get hurt either. I'd rather anything happen to myself than that, but I'm not as nervous about him having one.

Tell me what you think of this situation. Really imagine yourself being in this situation yourself and give me complete honesty. If you want to call me a jerk, go ahead, but please, give me some direction. Thanks in advance.

Q: I've known him for 5 months. He's an incredibly sweet, kind, caring, and genuine guy. He's older than me and lives far away. My parents don't care about the age difference but don't believe that he has a good enough job for someone of his age. They think that I can't possibly know him (because of the distance) and don't know what kind of family he comes from etc.

He's come to visit me multiple times since we met. These visits are really expensive because he has to get a hotel. If I were to visit him it would be a lot cheaper because I could stay at his apartment, or even at my friends apartment which is 45 mins away from his.

I'm 18 years old but am still dependent on my parents. They said that if I go visit him they will stop paying for my university. However he can't come visit me anytime soon and I really miss him. They took my passport and think that I don't know but I realized it was missing. So I'd have to confront them and ask for my passport back.

I don't know what to do.

Q: I live in a three bedroom house with four people. I know its not that bad and I know there are people who deal with worse, but you don't know my family. I have ABSOLUTELY NO PRIVACY! I'm fourteen and I share a tiny room with my nine year old sister. Just our beds take up about 85% of the room so yeah its mega small. I really want my own room 'cause I've shared all my life. My mom and my brother (who isn't home like 90% of the time) have the other two rooms. Now, I feel that with my being fourteen and the changer going on in and around me, I should have my own room. I have no real privacy. If I'm in the bathroom and my mom wants something out of there she will PICK THE LOCK! I mean really, she says that the only place we deserve privacy is the bathroom, so yeah way to contradict yourself mom. She also blames any argument I have with my sister on me. So yeah if she's taking my stuff its somehow my fault. She also laughs when my brother calls me fat and then says I should get a corset as if that'll make me feel

Q: okay im 15 and i was was going to dedicate a song to my step dad showing thanking him for everything he has done for me more than my real dad.
you see my real dad has never been in my life, until now he has been trying to talk to me i dont wanna to talk to him but my mom said o should get to kno him but anyways i just wanna let my step dad he is the number one dad and he wont ever be replaced.
thx and my dad is into country :))

Q: i am a 14 year old girl. My mom always yells at me for things that she thinks i did, but she wasnt even there for. for example i was teasing my little brother, and he WAS giggling and smiling. my mom was listening from the other room, called me in and told me i was making him feel small, being a bully, that i was a little brat and i was a mean person. this happens on a very regular basis, like at least 5 times a week. my self esteem has gotten really low, and i have apparently started to act differently. my mom told me i should b the me that everybody loved, and toldme i had promised not to turn into one of those dumb teenagers, but i was breaking my promise. i snapped and said "oh thanks, so now i'm dumb" and she accused me of not being able to take a joke and said this was exactly what she meant about my change in attitude. once i tried to stand up to her. i showed her how my hands were shaking because i was so scared to talk to her, but she just told me that was because i knew i was wrong about my feelings. she then told me she was human too, and she deserved to have respect. i have been scared to talk to her ever since. so basically my mom doesnt like my new clothing style(which isnt trashy because they let me dress like that in a catholic school) my new attitude and actions that i didnt even know i aquired, and i lost her trust. please tell me how i can get through this!! there is no way i can talk to her obviously, or my dad. my siblings listen but nothing changes. i dont know what to do. i have actually concidered going through extremes to escape this.

Q: hi,i am from south africa,cape town,i am a female and i am 19 years old,almost 3years married.i have a daughter that is two years old. the last time i was happy was the day i got married.. ever since then iv been crying every night. i have always been taken for granted, i had to go through alot with my husband we were both on school that time and that made it soo much difficult. i moved into a room in his mothers house. he didnt think that he must leave school to go work for his family he just wanted his parents to do everything for him.he only thinks of himself,he doesnt do anything for us if he doesnt get anything out of it. he is the only boy and the youngest child, he is 19 years old too. he has always gotten everything right by his family! he treats me very bad, when i cry he turns his back on me,he speaks to me like im a friend,and treats me like a dog,he minipulates me,and throws a fit when he doesnt get what he wants. during my pregnancy i was left without food to eat, they always made sure that he had a few rands for school but they didnt even consider me.they are not my only problem his two sisters moved back last year the one has three rude kids and the other one moved back with her husband and baby boy.. the one with the 3 kids is a thief that steals all my stuff,even as far as underwear and food..i must lock my room at all times even when i need to use the loo..the house is packed now and always noisy.i so badly dont want my child to grow up here but what other choice do i have. i have tried moving to my mum but that seperation does not work for him..my daughter is becoming rude and disobedient just like her kids she shouts and swears at them at all times and that is not what i want my child to listen to. thats part of my problem.. his mother treats me horrible aswell.. she always makes me out to be the bad one..his other sister badmouths me by everyone,when i go on holiday to his family in port elizabeth then evryone gives me bad looks. im not perfect,i have also got my faults, but i also dont deserve this.the middle of last year was abit better in my marriage. but now its gotten worst, my husband is working as a salesman on contract and he doesnt bring in much. he just took out a laptop contract that cost him 400r every month.money we dont even have.i wanted us to start saving even if its just 200r a month or so. he does not no about responsibility.he doesnt have to worry about baby health and doctor bills,my mum is paying that,she also goes every winter and summer to go shop for clothing for her.the way this looks we're never going to get on our own. i am not working yet, i did my senior year last year @ night school and now i am applying wherever is possible.he doesnt look like he is much interested in me anymore,when i dress up for him he doesnt notice even when i do my hair, it hurts alot! every morning i wake up he looks @ me and says where is my coffee, he doesnt even greet first..he comes home to a clean room, ironed pjs ready for him to go shower and he gets his coffee when he steps in the house,what am i doing wrong.i get treated like dirt from begining to end. the only time i get attention is at night when he lays next to me ,sleeping!i am very close to giving up..i dont want to waste my time if i am never going to get treated the way i deserve! what should i do?

Q: Okay...so I know this is like a REALLY weird question...BUT! I want to start like wearing thongs...and I'm 13(yes I'm young I know) but I have no idea what to tell my mom I can't just say "Hey mom I wanna start wearing thongs let's go buy some!" not happening! I need some advice on how to ask/tell my mom what I want to do..help? Thank youu( :

Q: I fight with her everyday and I just hate the way she acts. Sometimes I get on great with her other time I just hate her and never want to speak to her again like now. She always thinks she is right in everything even when I try to say something even if it about my life she has to have her input to it. And she thinks it should go that way. She also hardly says anything nice to me and talks bad bout my friends. Also when she asks wat I think of something and it's not the same as her she goes of the head and says well it's a good thing it not u getting it. She is older than me and thinks she can tell me what to do n try to act all big. When we fight she says all these mean things to me and when I can't take it no more I try not to but I say mean things to and she starts to cry and I get in trouble for it then even thought she started it. I think I should just stop talking to her. What do u think I should do. Btw I'm 17 and she is 23.

Q: My friend treats her parents badly. She wants me to help her, but I don't know how. She treats them badly because of the things they do. Please help!

P.S. She doesn't hit them

Q: Hello.

My cousin is going through a hard time at the moment, with his parents recently separating. He goes to school, comes home, and works in the same room until he decides to eat/sleep. He rarely goes out, which is odd because he seems to be the type that would be quite popular: good looking, good at sport, intelligent etc.

Long story short, his father made an insensitive comment the other day. My grandmother, my uncle, and my mother have asked for me to do something with him to cheer him up. This is fine, but I don't know how to ask without it sounding like a pity invite? I was thinking of just heading into the city, do abit of window shopping, grab a bite to eat, and maybe catch a movie.

The wierd thing is, never have I done anything with him apart from family meetings etc. I feel odd just randomly texting him asking if he wants to do something, because it will seem so obvious.

Can anyone shed some light on how I can ask, without it seeming like a pity invite? It is of course a pity invite (so to speak), but I don't want him to feel that it is?

Thanks a bunch folks.

Q: Well my dad and I have never been super close but he's getting older and I want to be with him more. But the only thing he talks about is math, math math math! All the time! He didn't used to. It's because I got a C in it last semester. I dread asking him for help because he spends like two hours on 5 questions. EVen if I tell him I have homework due the next day while my math isn't he still continues. I don't even ask for his help anymore because he just walks into my room and says ok where's your math homework? Even my mom groans when he comes home. They have never been close that I know of. They haven't slept in the same room for idk how long and don't hug, kiss, or say I love you. Ever. Please help me, if you can :)

Q: Hey. 13/F. Just the other day my grandma came in the room with out knocking. And I was busy putting on a pad coz I was on my period. And I don't know wat to do ? My door was close. And I don't know how to tell my mom plz help

Q: I have been married for 6 years to whom I consider the best woman out there. I need to say that for the record. She is quick witted, smart, and has many abilities that could easily drop her into multiple career paths. Admittedly, she does feel indecisive. She hasn't followed up on any true career path and her indecisiveness has gotten the best of her in other ways. Our relationship throughout those 6 years have not been happy for both of us. While dating, I did catch her cheating and I realized that she had thought I was going to leave her so she was in essence seeing another guy. Things got better. But, I realized I have difficulty expressing myself with her. We have 4 kids now. The forth child was a difficult one in that I had no permanent job, no insurance and we had been using birth control. Our last child before her was a premature birth and had to undergo months of treatments to make him strong. I didn't want to go through that again. During the time of conception, I had my suspicions that she may have a posting for a companion on craiglist. After I found out she was pregnant, I thought about finances, my suspicions, and whether we could handle four children. I asked her to give the child up for adoption. I let my suspicions get the best of me and brought out the word divorce. We made up and we decided mutually to keep the fourth child. But the whole ordeal challenged our marriage and made her second guess our relationship. I made a vow to myself that I would be a more outgoing husband and I would express my emotions whole heartedly with her. I realized I have not been there for her in her times of need. Fast forward to now a year and a half later, she is on Facebook. Over the last few months She approached me to say that she doesn't think that she loves me as much as I love her. I thought of it as an innocent comment at first but, she began crying after a few confrontations. I became suspicious again.
I found she had been staying up late chatting with an old high school boyfriend in another state. I confronted her and she played it off as just chatting. I then found out it was more than that. They had secret email accounts and pre-paid phone cards and were planning on running away together. I confronted her again and she confessed that she did have feelings for him but didn't admit to planning on running off with him. She also admitted that she did have an ad on Craiglist for a lesbian partner as far back as 6 months ago. We decided to go to counseling and during our first session she said that she kind of sees me as the big brother she never had. She now says she wants to keep the family together but for the sake of the kids. This other guy has friended me on facebook and has made many compliments about looks and being a great guy as he has heard from my wife. At times, I still find her on facebook chatting with this guy. She says there is 17 years of feelings for eachother that she cannot just let go. Though I can see that through the emails I found that they both seem to be feeding off of their high school memories and he seems to be using that to play her. This guy has supposedly been cheated on by his girlfriend of six years. My wife has become a facebook friend with his girlfriend! I know Jerry Springer comes to mind huh?
I realized that my lack of being there for her, not conveying my emotions and yes my slacking with the house chores has made us drift apart to this stage. I really do want to rekindle our relationship and not have it be a marriage of convenience. I have been ramping up on the house work. I sent her flowers at work. I have been sharing my random thoughts for her throughout the day. My goal is a happy mariiage where there isn't any drama like this and to have her fall in love with me again. Throughout the whole ordeal, her mom has stopped answering my calls. She knows what happened but, doesn't want to be brought into things. She says she wants nothing to do with it. I really am looking for a woman's opinion on the situation.

Q: how to cope with adult son and his wife, living 200 miles away, father is controlling and narcissistic, i am the mother, caught inbetween,father wants son and wife to live in our town and be there for us, i am 77, husband is81,

Q: I am a sixteen-year old girl and I really hate my family. I usually have good days at school, but once I hit the steps of my home, all my happiness washes away. What's the problem exactly? Well, a lot of things, but mostly my mother. Let's start with her.

My mother and I both have a very violent past. My father abandoned us both when I was ten, and he would often abuse her and he cheated on her a few times. We used to be very close when I was a kid, but not much anymore. She is very nit-picky, bitchy, and forceful. She always complains that no one appreciates her, that no one cares about her, that no one ever helps her. I'll name a few examples. Yesterday, it was my six month anniversary with my boyfriend. It was my special day and I was really excited. I put on my favorite jeans, a nice shirt, and boots. She came in and said those jeans were ugly, and I said, "Well, I like these jeans." She got pissed and started crying about how no one loves her and I simply said I wanted to choose my own outfit. She threw a fit and slammed the door and the rest of the day, I couldn't even enjoy my day because she made me feel like shit. She always does that. She makes me feel so ugly and negative all the time by telling me I'm selfish and I am disrespectful. Also, I risk my education to watch her kids. I always skip school to help her out, and the next day she gets pissed at everyone because no one helps. I think it is unfair. I bust my ass for her. I take up all my after school time cleaning the house for her and she doesn't ever notice. She threatens me all the time. Once, I woke up at 5 a.m. and found cat poop on my sheets. I put the sheets aside and went back to bed with new sheets. The next morning, I told my mom, and she told me that I am a scumbag and I should've washed my sheets right away. At 5 a.m.? I told her I needed my sleep and I didn't have time for that, and I put them aside to wash them in the morning. She started freaking out when I told her she didn't need to yell at me for that, she pulled my by my hair into the bedroom and told me she would bash my head through the wall and smash my phone onto the floor if I said another thing. I was really upset that day and I called my boyfriend and we left.

I hate it here. I am constantly yelled at, bitched at, never appreciated, and a victim to abuse and negativity. I don't have a very good self-confidence because my mother always brings me down. She wants me to be what she wants, not what I want. She complains I'm lazy and I don't try hard enough. She never appreciates what I do for her. I can't ever be in a tired mood or not in the mood to talk to anyone. She expects me to be in a good mood all the time. When she found out I had sex for the first time, she told me I was a slut. She took me to therapy and a doctor because she thought I was sleeping around with everyone. She does her best to restrict me from sex all the time. I can't even talk to her in a mature way about it. Because my boyfriend and I are always alone, we do have sex, but responsibly. If I'm responsible about it, why does it matter if I'm doing it or not?

My family fights a lot. My stepdad is very uncaring and often acts like a douchebag. He is selfish and never respects my mother. This house is haunted with constant yelling and screaming. I stopped it once, because there was slamming of glass and crying and pounding and my little brother was crying. I talked to my parents the next day and we agreed to fix it. That's just it. Nothing got fixed. We all agreed to have a nice talk and we did, and nothing ever changed. My mom never goes through with anything.

How much more of this do I have to take? I have posted advice on this before, but most of them involve calling child support and such. I don't want to do that. I don't want my sister and brother being taken away as well. I've wanted to get out of here for a long time. My boyfriend told me my mother is an asshole and she doesn't have the right to treat me this way. He doesn't like my parents because they always make me cry. I've always wanted to move in with him even if we're both young. I don't want to live here anymore, but I doubt I could get the change I want, because I have no job or license. Please help. I need guidance. I don't deserve any of this. I'm a good kid..

Q: my fiance and I are having terrible problems with his 9 yr old son. He has told us more then a dozen times that he is completely alright with us being together, getting married, etc. But we are now experiencing problems.....he (the son) tells her mother (who is a total psycho stalker{we have a restraining order against her}) everything that occurs in our home, makes up lies about me, my children and his father. He constantly lies to us, disrespects us and ignores every word we say. He is concerned only with getting what he can from us. I will not leave my home for him, stiffle my children from speaking with his father or end my relationship. Someone please help us. We are at the end of the line with this child. Also his mother does not make him listen, respect, behave, do homework, care for himself (personal hygene wise) or feed him well {fast food every nite she can't cook}. We cannot at this time take him from his home so that is not an answer.

Q: My niece has a secret crush on my husband. She loves to cuddle with him so I let her. I let him lay down in bed with her and hold her when she's sad or scared. She wrote a love note to him yesterday and it was really sweet. She even asked him to marry her. He gives her hugs and kisses and he plays with her too. She's upset because she knows she can't be in a real relationship with him. She thinks he's cute and funny and he is. Me and him have been married for almost 13 years. We don't have any children. She really loves him and she really wants to be with him. Every time I try to explain our marriage to her she gets upset and cries. How can I explain it to her ? She's 5 years old. He's 35 almost 36.

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