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I know someone who said that they don't really "cut" but they use anything they find that's kind of sharp and scratch their skin until it's just kind of raw... but they don't make themselves bleed, they get to the point right before they would bleed. They said they feel depressed but don't tell people that because they want to make everyone happy... and they just like having the marks on them and keeping it a secret. (link)
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This is self-mutilation. Just because they aren't the stereotypical "cutter", they still have a problem and they need help. If this is a friend of yours, please talk to them about this problem. Some people do like the thrill of a secret, but this is a bad, dark one that can lead on for too long and get worse. It won't become better until they stop. Trying to make others happy is pointless if you aren't happy. Your energy is drained, and you drain the energy out of those around you. Eventually, they are going to see through your fake smiles, and notice things, small details, that indicate your secrecy. Please help this person. Please.
Pray for them. Tell their parents. Something to help. God bless you for caring so much.
-BB
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15/m
I really do need to have any help from anybody willing to answer, anything will do.
A few years ago, i left my old school to go onto Secondary school. Now, at my old school, i had lots of friends and i was really, really happy and nothing was wrong. But when i changed schools, my social life just...collapsed. I've just been finding myself on my own and I guess it was from that point onwards that i began to talk to myself, creating realties in my head and situations and i would act them out (literally), speaking to people who weren't there and i would respond when they replied or asked or even spoke. I'd only recently began to notice this and it's scared me, i mean really. I don't know how to stop and try and erase this 'world' which has formed in my head. It only happened when i am alone.
What's even worse is that i've forgotten how to socilise with my peers and I've wanted to sit with them at luch time and dinner (I board at school), but i can't.
So basically, my question is: how can i get my life back together and have the social life i used to have? (link)
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Sometimes, one will go through the actions of doing something, while not really doing it. Or, watch themselves in a movie. This sounds similar.
Recently, I took an online phsycological screening test, and this appeared as part of the result, diagnosed as a "dissasocative disorder", called depersonalization. It doesn't mean that you have it, but I'd reccommend talking to someone.
This could also be a coping mechanism that the interactive part of your brain is using to create friends for you that maybe, even if it isn't your fault, you haven't made on your own.
I'd reccomend looking for friendly people, and the headphone idea is a good one, too.
Everyone has a little social anxiety, so just, kind of, put yourself out there, and take a risk as if you have nothing to lose.
Pray, too.
God bless,
-BB
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