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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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I know you guys aren’t psychiatrists so you can’t diagnose me but I’m just tired of fear controlling my life. I’m 20 years old and I have undiagnosed anxiety. Anyways whenever I go out I’m always on guard, watching my surroundings, if there’s a parked car while I’m walking I get instant fear of getting kidnapped, if I’m on the bus at night and it’s only myself and a guy, if he doesn’t get off the bus before me or if he gets off the same stop as me and walks behind me I start speed walking and usually call someone on the phone quick. I don’t really trust anyone because I feel like people will spread my secrets. I also think people are using me (I’m usually right though people take advantage of my niceness) and I also think people try to one-up me (I’m usually right about that too), sometimes I think people are trying to sabotage me as well so I’m suspicious of peoples intentions, or I think people judge me, I hold grudges a lot for example I was telling my siblings that I hate my voice because these boys in the 6th grade made fun of it and my siblings looked at me like I was crazy. I also don’t feel safe at home I always think someone is going to break in especially at night or when I’m home alone. The reason why I feel like this is because the crime rates in my city have gone up, human trafficking is a big problem in my city as well, when I was in the 6th grade a strange man did try to kidnap me by calling me over to get in his car and when I said no he decided to get out of his car and approach me, while I was playing outside luckily my neighbours mom was outside. Also someone has actually tried to break into my house before. Also my mom always requires me to call her every second to know where I am, I’m not allowed to be out passed 12am. So with all these events happening and my mom putting constant worry in me. I feel like fear is controlling my life any advice?
THe first thing you need to do is to tell your mother that at 20 years of age you are an adult, that she does not have any legal standing as to your wellbeing, the hours you keep, where you go or anything else. In other words she can no longer tell you what you may and may not do.
The next thing is to see your family doctor and be screened for depression and anxiety. Anxiety causes depression and depression cause pain which causes anxiety. I know this as I was once diagnosed with depression and I learned this in therapy.
Your family doctor, will if you are diagnosed with depression, prescribe medication. Take the medication and then find a psychiatrist Board Certified to properly medicate you. Your family doctor doesn't have the training to properly treat depression. Your not crazy most depression, called Clinical Depression, is caused by a lack of hormones secreted in to the brain. A Board Certified Psychiatrist is a medical doctor has done a Fellowship in Psychiatry and past the test required for entry into the College of Psychiatry.
The psychiatrist will treat you with medication and suggest a psychologist for talk therapy to get at the root cause of your depression. It will be hard work but if you work hard there is a light at the end of the tunnel and your depression will lift.
I need help. I've tried to kill myself 3 times in the past week and it's not working. I tried to hang myself the first two times and i can't find anything strong enough to bare my weight. I tried to overdose even though I knew it almost never works. Now I'm getting sick and I feel horrible and definitely not dead. I've told all my friends what I was going to try to do. Said my goodbyes. I can't deal with telling them that I failed in even that. I've cut myself for a really long time. I've never been diagnosed with anything but I also haven't told anything to my parents. I just am confused on what I even do now.
Killing yourself is not the answer to your problems. You have friends and family that love you and killing yourself will do long term harm to them especially your parents. You are obviously depressed. Depression is manageable if not curable.
What I suggest is you tell your parents what you have tried to do this week. As them to get you help. If your parents do not, for some reason, believe or get you help you can:
Call 911 9f you feel like hurting yourself.
Go to the nearest Hospital ER.
Talk with a trusted teacher or your school principal. They must by law inform the proper agencies to get you the help you need.
I have suffered with depression so I know what it is like. Your perception is off because of the depression. Once in treatment the fog of depression will slowly lift until the root cause is found. When that happens you will see things more clearly.
I’m 20, female and from the UK.
So for the last few years, my mental health has been going downhill, along with my self esteem and confidence. I tend to overthink a lot, to the point where I plan ahead for every possible situation (even the weird and unlikely ones). I’ve never been great in social situations but I don’t know what to do about it anymore. It started with me just being awkward socially, then after failed attempts to improve I started to dread talking to people I barely know. Now there are times where I will start to panic uncontrollably and have to hide in the bathroom until it’s over before going back into the social situation. I can’t live like this anymore and end up just hiding in my bedroom for multiple days per week. I really want to do something about it, but talking to someone irl isn’t an option (long story). What is some good advice you recommend that doesn’t require telling someone about the situation?
You"re telling us so you are talking to someone about your problem. As we are not medical professionals and this medium is somewhat awkward I will make a few suggestions.
First I would like you to see you family doctor for a full physical. Anxiety can have organic problems that a physical will highlight. Be honest with your doctor as to what is troubling you.
Should there not be an medical problem your doctor can prescribe medication to help relieve the symptoms while you seek help from a psychologist for talk therapy. From personal experience I can tell you that in many cases talk therapy will help you get at the root cause of you anxiety.
If you are like me some long ago trauma you think you have forgotten about but have built a wall around to keep you safe has started to come out. IF your honest with the therapist you will get to the root cause and then find way to deal with it.
Hello , so i am a 22 year old healthy fit male who's mixed and I've been trying to deal with this issue for quiet a while now : people (males &females) stare at me for some reason which really annoys me. It makes me feel uncomfortable ; it takes away my focus when I'm doing something. It makes feel like something is wrong about me whether it's appearance,clothes...etc. What i do is i look back with a stern look!. I'm just trying to give them a signal to stop looking at me. i already lack self confidence and self esteem , so when that happens i get worse...
People stare for many different reasons. At one time a male or female of mixed race was an oddity; not so today. The people who stare are just being plain rude and I would suggest you try to ignore them.
While looking back may let you feel better you are in a sense antagonizing them. Giving them reason to stare at you over and over again.
If this is happening in the work place or at school then you can talk with HR about this as it is creating a "Hostile Work Environment for you," a violation of Federal Law. If at school go to the Dean of students with the same complaint.
I’ve been searching for AGES.
I mean, I think my purpose could be having a gift to give to people, like time, effort, empathy, etc. but I don’t know.
I can’t talk to my therapist anytime soon, but I’m in desperate need of someone who is very wise to give me advice on finding my gift.
We all have some gift to give though it takes time and maturity to find that gift. As much as we would like to know what that gift may be it cannot be forced. Usually your gift will make itself known in your last years of High School or in your first years of college. Maybe your gift is to be a doctor who may find a cure for some disease. You won’t know this until you start planning for medical school.
For many years my son and I volunteered together at a volunteer rescue squad. One day he asked why we do this. It is a question asked of all of us and one we ask of ourselves. The simple answer is because we can. The truth of the matter is the reason or the why is different for all of us and it becomes apparent on a specific call. One Sunday afternoon I am at home with my wife listening to the scanner when a call goes out. I won’t go in to details other than to say my son’s action in part saved a man’s life. I knew this call would have special meaning to him so I went to the station to wait for his return from the hospital. He walked in looked at me and said “I know.”
That call showed him what his gift is. Today he is a career Paramedic/Fire Fighter with over 20 lives saved. Your gift may become apparent in a similar manner or it will be something you gravitate to. Just don’t rush it for rushing it will surely lead you in the wrong direction.
18/f/South Africa
When I was 9-13 I was sexually abused by my brother in law. The first time I came out with it, my sister didn't believe me. The 2nd time, nothing was done and the 3rd time, she finally left him and it stopped. I had a hard time coping with it in grade 7 (13) and started cutting. My best friend at the time knew about it and helped me. From grade 8-11 I was fine and thought i got over it. All of a sudden in the beginning of this year I started remembering things I forgot and it started affecting me. I started cutting again and it is always on my mind. I became really close to this new girl in my class, and she knows about it, so she and my best friend are the only people I can speak to. I actually can't handle it anymore. I break down almost every night because of new thoughts of the abuse. On my birthday in June, he messaged me to say happy birthday and that he regrets hurting me and I believe him. It sucks because I feel bad for him and miss the good side of him because he was like a dad to me. I just want to talk to him about it and just get closure, but I know my mom would never allow that.
Question is, why is this all coming back now and what do I do about it? I can't afford to go to a therapist and I don't want to tell my family about it.
You answered your own question when you said l "just get closure." Unfortunately talking to him will not get you the closure you need. As a dad 7 Uncle if I found out some one was sexually abusing my daughter or niece that person would be in jail. Your sister just divorcing him did not bring closure or any type of professional help for you in getting closure.
I'm going to suggest two things for you to do to get the closure you need.
First I would like you to contact an organization called RAINN. RAINN stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network. Their number is 800-656-HOPE (4673). This number is answered 24/7 365 days a year with qualified councilors who will help you get the professional help you need and if you wish help you file sexual assault charges.
Second you need to stop cutting. By getting counseling you will stop cutting as you start to get closure. Until then when you feel like cutting do this instead. Get a big rubber band and let it hang from your wrist. When you feel like cutting snap the rubber band against your wrist. Doing this is safer, does not leave a scar and you will get the same satisfaction you get from cutting.
Pick up a phone and call RAINN now and consider filing charges against your former brother in-law. Do this not just for yourself but for his future victims. He did this to you he will do it to others and he belongs in jail.
You do not need parental permission at your age to contact the police. IF you would like help in doing so talk to a trusted teach or your school principal. They will help you make the police report.
i'm not exactly happy when i get what i've been wanting from a long time, be it a material thing or just ordinary stuff like my favorite dish that i've not had in a long time. i noticed this often and i don't expect much satisfaction before getting it and yet i kinda feel empty inside.
things that were/are special to me doesn't feel much special anymore
like a song that i like a lot and haven't heard in a long time doesn't feel the same when i hear it
the intensity of it's effects that was before is now gone,and it's not just a song it's about most of the stuff
i wanted something from like 2 years and i recently got it and i wasn't exactly happy
i was like "oh.. ok..."
i mean i wanted it so bad and when i got it it felt empty !
Thankyou for taking your time in reading this !
While we are not doctors and cannot make a diagnoses. What I suggest you do is make an appointment with you doctor for a full physical with a screening for depression.
What you have written hits several of the symptoms for depression. For a proper diagnoses you need to be tested by your doctor. The physical is to rule out any organic problems. The test for depression just your doctor asking you some question. Answer them honestly for a proper diagnoses.
I am currently living with my parents to help them pay bills etc, since they are retired. I feel so guilty moving out as they will live a bit tight on money, but I feel like I need my own space. Right now i'm so emotionally drained, my family is dysfunctional and we have a brother dealing with drugs. My parents are trying to help him but he drains the whole family and i'm tired of being in this environment.
I found an apartment I liked a bit pricey but that is what rental places are in my neighborhood. But as the signing of the lease got closer I started to get frightening, my heart was pounding so hard and I felt so much anxiety.
I'm so confused if to move out or just stay here until i buy my own home, which is my goal. Or do i move out and rent temporarily this way i can have my own space and not be affected by my brothers addiction and feeling like my parents always need me. Help, i'm so confused and need to sign the lease asap before i loose this apartment.
Thank you
Let me start by offering this bit of advice. Your brothers drug addiction is not your's or your parents to deal with. I have a brother i-law who is a recovering alcoholic for over 25 years. One of the first things he learned fro going to aa meetings is: "Those who are addicts must hit bottom and want to get help before they can be helped." This is true for drug addicts as it is for those addicted to alcohol.
As for moving out of your parents home. I believe having your ow place will help you better deal with the dysfunctional things that are a cause of your anxiety. If you can set aside some money or pay one of your parents recurring bills great.
Moving out and living on your own allows you to live the adult life your entitled to. Stay out late without the worry of your parents sitting up for you. Having guests without upsetting your parents. These things and more come with moving out of your parents home.
My son was injured at work and was out of work for 2 years while he recovered from back surgery. He lived at home for those two years though as soon as he went back to work he moved out. While he lived at home what I wrote about the freedoms of moving out are what he felt when he moved out. Example is when he wanted to have a party he and his friends chipped in to get me and his mother a hotel room for the night.
It's not that I want to die, I'm just tired of living as myself. I don't want this to be some pity party bc trust me, I know how privileged I am. I know how lucky I am to be living in a relatively wealthy household, during a time period and place where girls can go to school and where I can have a future. "future" haha...
I can't imagine a future where I'd be happy. I'm smart and I'd have good college apps so I'd get into some UC schools and maybe even make it to some of the shitty Ivies if I'm lucky. I'd feel just as alone as I do now. Be just as confused. Ok I don't want this to sound like some poor teen girl with no self esteem but WHY THE FUCK DO NO BOYS HAVE ANY INTEREST IN ME WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! Don't give me the "you'll find the right guy when you're older, you'll meet someone blah blah" because no one fucking knows that. There are actually a lot of people who are in their 30s who have never kissed, never had a relationship, and never had sex so yes I can be and likely will be one of those people. I grew up in a traditional household wary of male/female friendships and relationships because the mentality was no sex before marriage and no marriage till after college so be asexual till then! My parents got married really for convenience and never loved each other, still don't love each other. I don't even know what a healthy relationship is tbh. Aight not to sound like a stuck up bitch but I dress cute, I'm quirky, and I go out of my way to be nice to people... but people who are the opposite somehow are less alone than I am??? I'm fucking terrified of intamacy and crave it simultaneously so yeah fucked up yeah i know. Anyways where was I ah yes no future... so I'll be tens of thousands of dollars in debt from student loans. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and I'm supposed to be applying to colleges soon yeah how the fuck am I supposed to know what I want to do "just do whatever subject you like best!" yeah no one "likes" subjects no chemists are fucking excited by the acidity of strong acid titrations okay... people go into fields bc it's what they're good at. I'll probably end up like my mother.. having a degree in some shit I'll end up hating in 10 years. I don't think i'll ever have a family bc id be a shitty mom and i believe ppl who wouldn't be good moms shouldn't have kids just bc they want a family bc quite frankly that is the most selfish and FUCKING STUPID mentality so yeah no family...
I'm always on the outside somehow always on the outside even when I'm not. Sometimes I'll be at a party where I feel welcome but I still just have this giant pit no giant hole in my chest just sucking the happiness from the moment until I'm back on the ground and I don't feel a fucking thing... no more like I feel everything at once.
I don't want to end up like mother. I can see her selfishness or manipulativeness in me sometimes and i just want to carve it out. I feel like even if i escape her in the distance sense once i go to college she'll never really leave me. She'll always be apart of me always be there to remind me what fucked up genes i have or remind me that I'm a selfish wench or that i indeed only think of myself (which i guess is true considering what this entire passage is about) or that ok honestly it doesn't even matter.
At this point i just can't keep being in this fucking body anymore. I just want to fucking drink or smoke or carve myself away but conveniently no one i know sells that shit bc i made the smart decision to keep my childhood friends throughout high school.Don't get me wrong, they're amazing. but one of em has enough shit in her life she has to deal with and both of them aren't the type to party or do any of that "ghetto" stuff.
I have this theory that people who are Loved don't have to be anything else they can just be Loved. For people who aren't we have to be extraordinary to fill the cliche void. I'm tired of trying to be extraordinary. I'm so so tired. I've been it my whole life and only isolated myself from my peers and from the worlds entirety.
I really don't want this to be some pity party but I just don't see how i can ever be happy. I just don't see it.
I know whatever advice ill get will be hotlines or advice to talk to someone well lol if i could talk to someone do you think id be on here? honestly i know whatever advice i get won't help at all bc you can never really get the full picture from one entry and also what insight can strangers have that i couldn't when I'm the one fucking living this mess? alright I'm ready for the incredible bs of answers I'm going to get including cliche you're worth it sayings.
There is an old saying that says; “You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your relatives.” From what you write you did not win on that point. Killing yourself will not change anything because death is final. The problems you explained can be overcome.
Your parents are not getting along or having the relationship you want? As soon as you turn 18 you are legally and adult and can move out of your parent’s house.
Smart girls will always have trouble with attracting boys. You can have cheerleader looks but if you are the smartest one in class you won’t make the cheerleaders squad or attract boys. High school boys want the dumb blond types they can manipulate into give in them what they crave the most and that is sex. Smart girls are seen as more bookish than promiscuous. Things will change in college as boy’s mature faster and start looking for that girl to bring home to mama. You are that girl and I do not recommend you compromise your principals just to have a high school romance.
What you can do and I suggest you try is approaching a boy you like instead of waiting for him to come to you. It is allowable for a girl to approach a boy. It was once considered being very forward but today it is seen as quite normal and permissible.
No problem is so huge it can’t be overcome. Killing oneself does not fix the problem. You have a whole life ahead of you. I won’t tell you life does not have its’ problems, it does though as I’ve said no problem that can’t be resolved.
You answered one of my questions and I have a question from your answer. You said that I could be bipolar - would it have to be extreme mood swings? Or could it be subtle as well?
Once again I am not a doctor so I cannot make a diagnoses. Generally speaking a person who has Bipolar disorder is subject to among other things severe mood swings.
In your original writing you mention your mood swings which gave me reason to answer as I did. Please take my advice and see your doctor for a full physical and ask to be screened for depression.
18/f
For the past 5 months I've had really bad anxiety and I think I'm depressed. I've gotten back into cutting but I find my mood swings weird. I can go from being empty and distant to super happy to wanting to cry in just the period of a day at school. And I'm generally a shy person, especially around teachers but then I get days where I'm just over the top happy and I'm confident and actually speak quite alot in front of them and then there's days where when I try answer something in class you can abrely even hear me. And I've become pretty affectionate lately. And I don't really sleep much, I'll put my phone off at like 10:30pm and at 3 I'm still awake my mind doesn't switch off and I don't get tired at night. I just don't get what is going on. I go from nights where i just want to die to days where I'm on top of the world.
I am not a doctor so I cannot make a diagnoses. What I can do is the following:
1. Have your family doctor give you a complete physical with depression screening. This rules out any organic cause for the way your feeling.
2. Based on the symptoms you describe I am also going to suggest you find a Board Certified Psychiatrist. The symptoms you described are among those that would indicate depression; possibly Manic Depression also known as Bipolar disorder.
Having suffered clinical depression myself I can tell you that anxiety and depression go hand in hand . Mood swing are also part of the illness and depending on how severe the swings are will affect the diagnoses.
It is important that you have a complete physical as there are some conditions that are causing you problem. Since there are organic conditions the psychiatrist will want you to get a physical.
Recruiters came up to my dorm today and asked if I wanted to join the navy. I didn't mention that I was diagnosed with Schizoaffecive disorder w/ bipolar. Does my mental illness disqualify me? If it does, is there any way I can get around it with a waiver or something?
There are few things the military will accept with a Medical Waiver. Unfortunately your medical problems is not among them.
Lets start out by saying that I'm a 16 year ild female, if that helps anything. I know this could just be hormones and such since I'm a teenager, but I can't be too sure. I don't remember when this all started, but i've noticed lately that I'm feeling extremely guilty for small and insignificant things. For example, today I tried to grab a paper in Science. The teacher stopped me and said the older kids go first. Seems simple, but it's 8 hours later and I'm still feeling guilty about this. This is just one example though. It happens almost everyday, and it's starting to make me question my every action to the point where I won't do anything in fear of messing up. Should I talk to someone about this, or should I try to fix it on my own? And advice would be appreciated!
I'm not a doctor so I cannot make a diagnoses. That said it could be just hormones or it could be the start of "Teenage Depression (TP)." Doctors and psychiatrists have recently come to accept Teenage Depression as an illness. Back when your parents were your age TP was considered a phase all children go through upon entering puberty and would grow out of it.
The first thing you should do is make an appointment with your family doctor for a complete physical and screening for depression. You need the physical to rule out any organic reason for the way you feel. The screening for depressions are just questions the doctor will ask you. Be honest in your answers.
Should your doctor find you are suffering with depression find a Board Certified Psychiatrist. A Board Certified Psychiatrist is a medical Doctor who has done a fellowship in psychiatrist and past all the test to be certified by the college of psychiatrists. These are the best doctors to treat your depression.
I've been through a lot in my life, and a lot of people have hurt me. I've been sexually harassed/violated/abused, I watched my brother be brutally abused for several years, I've dealt with mental illness and eating disorders, I've watched my friends attempt suicide, I've had friends kill themselves while I'm on the phone with them--the list goes on.
My problem is that I forgive people too quickly. I can't help but still want to be friends with the people that have hurt me. I was "best friends" with the guy(s) that sexually abused and violated me, to the point where my legs were always bruised and I was covered in cuts and scrapes. They were my best friends until one of them moved and the other told me he didn't want to be my friend anymore for some reason. Also, the person who abused my brother has always been both a huge negative influence on me and also a role model.
Whenever I'm with these people, I feel an attraction to them that I can't shake off, but I also have constant flashbacks to what they've done that are triggered by tiny things.
I'm not even in high school yet, and I've already experienced a lot of things that not even grown adults have gone through. Maybe it's the hormones that confuse my brain and make me feel this way about the people. Maybe it's the substance abuse.
Why do I still feel an attraction to the people that have wronged me so much and scarred me for life? Should I let them go even though I care for them so much?
It is not unusual for the abused person to have feelings towards their abuser. Sometimes the only attention the abused receives it the abuse she receives. It is not a good situation to hang on to your abuser as it has been proven that by doing so the abuse gets worse.
You need help to break away from the abuse and the substance abuse you mention. You mention you are not even in High School yet. This actually is something that works for you. I you cannot ask your parents for help then talk to a trusted teach or your school principal and ask for help.
Most important is that you stand up to your abuser. Don't let him/her hurt you. Tell him/her that if they abuse you in any manner again you will file a police report. Just because your abuser my be a minor; their age does not protect them for the law.
17/f
When I was 13, I had an eating disorder. It wasn't really full on starving myself - I would basically eat some dinner every night and sometimes a pack of jellybeans. I recovered after a year. I just wanna know if they could've effected me with anything later in life, like I have low iron levels, am really pale, have mild ibs - I'm literally always either constipated or have dirrhea I'm never normal. I also used to be pretty tall for my age, I was the tallest in my class and I went through puberty early - I started getting boobs when I was 8 and my entire family has big boobs (sorry this is random) but I just haven't been growing height and boob wise, I'm one of the shortest in my class and have the smallest boobs. Could it have impacted my growth? For a while now I've had headaches everyday and I get dizzy easily, but I eat a lot and don't have an eating disorder anymore. I basically still have the same mindset - i hate my body and would rather just not eat and relapse but right now I haven't. When I was 13, I became extremely pale, and my paleness never fully cleared up, im not as bad as I was then but even if I tan I just don't go darker. My marks also dropped alot, I was always super smart getting 90s and I was failing a lot of my tests when I was 13. My marks have improved since I recovered and I'm back to 70s-90s. If someone has an eating disorder, what would be ways to keep marks up? How do eating disorders impact people after they've recovered and can my things be because of it? Especially since my eating disorder wasn't extremely bad?
I know how eating disorders impact the body while suffering from the eating disorder. I have never looked at the opposite side as to how the disorder affects later life.
I would say to start with you need to know what if any damage was done to you by the eating disorder. I think you know by now when the body does not get what it needs to operate it shuts down what it believes are non-essential systems.
The first question you need an answer to and it should come from your doctor is: Did you have any serious damage done to any of your vital systems.
The second question is based on the answers to the first question. Of the damage done what can be repaired or healed and to what percentage of normal.
The third question is of course the question your asking which is what are the life time affects of my eating disorder.
You are 17 still a minor in the eyes of the law and your parents are still making medical decisions for you. They may not want you to know and have instructed the doctors not to tell you.
That's fine means they are looking out for you. But you have rights under a law called HIPPA. Since you were 14 you had medical confidentiality for anything to do with your reproductive systems. This law passed by congress was done so that young people would seek medical help for anything relating to their reproductive system. Parents could not be told of the nature of the doctors visits. Mom's could not be in the exam room and doctors could go to jail for breach of confidentiality.
Since one of the systems that may have been affected by your disorder would be your reproductive system. You have every right to ask your doctor questions and get straight answers. Just remind the doctor your questions are covered under HIPPA and you are requesting confidentiality.
I genuinely want a deep answer.
I have clinical depression, but I have found something for me that is gradually curing it as it feels like.
I feel like I'm experiencing a tiiiiiiny bit of euphoria and enthusiasm, but then I still feel a little depressed.
But then again, I don't know. I've never felt positive feelings before now with this treatment I'm using.
So may someone please explain to me what they GENUINELY feel like? Do they really feel INTENSELY energizing, or is it just a really satisfied, super happy state? Because my feelings are starting in between those two, but much more of the second one, so again, I don't know. I would really appreciate a deep explanation. Thank you! :)
It is a bit hard to put in words what your asking for as these feeling are very much and individual thing. I would suggest you look at the dictionary meaning of the words and see how they relate to how you feel.
That being said having suffered from depression myself I am concerned with what you wrote; "but I have found something for me that is gradually curing it as it feels like."
There is no self-help cure for depression Clinical or Manic Depression. There are over the counter medications that will actually cure depression. Clinical Depression, which is the moist common type, is the lack of one or two hormones that are secreted into the Brain. Only a medical doctor psychiatrist can prescribe the right medication to stimulate production or replacement therapy.
What really concerns me is how you explain your feelings. While I'm not a doctor how you explain how you are feeling is very close to who Manic or Bipolar depression, they are the same illness, are described.
My suggestion is that you see a Board Certified Psychiatrist and be evaluated as to just what type of depression you have and be medicated properly if needed. Clinical depression is a cyclical type of problem that involves a trigger, anxiety and depression with each one causing the other. To break the cycle the trigger needs to be found. TO find it talk therapy is recommended with a psychologist.
I can tell you if you follow my suggestion and work with the therapist the depression will lift. The trigger never goes away but you learn to deal with it in a manner that the trigger no longer hurts you forcing you to butty the problem that is actually causing the pain of depression.
And generalized anxiety and excessive anger.
I have already thought about this:
Switching to a Mediterranean diet/ drinking only water.
Exercising everyday.
Meditating and yoga everyday to calming music.
Taking 3,000 mg of fish oil everyday.
Could there be any hormone imbalances that could be the cause of the depression, anxiety and anger?
I’ve tried therapy many times (with endless effort), but I only feel worse. I often solve my problems better by myself, but I do need a little help with what else I can do to cure my mental issues. Thank you.
I feel like a job would also help. I was thinking a simple job as a Liberty Tax waver would be the best for me. What do you think?
Having suffered from clinical depression myself I can tell you for a fact that hormonal imbalance is the cause of most clinical depressions. IF it is the cause of your depression, and only a psychiatrist can make that diagnoses, then all of your efforts to control will not help. In fact your efforts to control the depression are in a manner of speaking a root cause of your depression.
Proper medication by a Board Certified Psychiatrist and working with a good psychologist brought me out of my depression. One of the problems of depression is how we perceive things. Depression alters our perception.
Properly medicated to replace the missing or low hormone count that fog of depression lifts enough that your perception is now closer to reality and you can work better with your psychologist to get at the root cause of the depression.
What your doing with diet and exercising won't hurt provide you take in enough calories each day. But solving your own problems is more of building walls around them in your mind when you should be tearing down those you have already built.
It takes time for a good psychologist to get you to tear down those walls. First your have to be really comfortable with your therapist/psychologist. This is your new best friend you can tell your deepest darkest secrets to comfortable in the knowledge that they stay in therapy.
I was very comfortable with my therapist and still it took her a long time to pick away at the walls I put up around those things causing my depression. Once those walls fell recovery was quick as she was able to help understand why I built those walls, why I felt hurt by what I blocked of and most important we discovered the trigger that allowed what I had blocked of to come forward and hurt me again.
My suggestion is to find a good Board Certified Psychiatrist and a good psychologist to work with. The reason for the psychiatrist is that the hormones secrete into the brain. The psychiatrist is a medical doctor who has done a fellowship in psychiatry and passed all the test to be admitted to the college of psychiatrists. This Board Certified doctor is best qualified to judge which hormones and how much need to be replaced.
As to finding a psychologist. Sometimes the first one you meet is not a good fit. Don't be afraid to say so and ask for the name of a psychologist that follows a different form of therapy. I went through 3 before I found the one I was most comfortable with.
Hey Advicenators team,
I am a fresher in IT industry who recently got a job through campus. I was a bright kid, got multiple offers from MNCs and chose one which seemed best. I completed my 3 month training with great scores. I landed up in a project which was messed up from the word go. I had a boss who was abusive, would not help, and i had to be with him constantly for the meetings,I was trained on say "A" and was working "B" which are like completely opposite. I wasn't learning much either, because i was made to sit around for long hours, with my role not at all defined. I had 3 issues, i had to travel 2+ hours, was working more than 12+ hours, and again travel back home, i was working weekends too with no pay.I ended up having a complete burnout and a breakdown, i was puking for weeks daily since i was stressed with lack of food.I explained this to the HR who just said i was making excuses. My breakdown however happened in front of my managers who were very kind in giving me medical assistance, ensuring i reached home and allowed me to be at home & recover. I understand we have to struggle in the earlier phases of life, but i do not have any idea, if this is my aim in life. I don't want to lead a meaningless life by working like a maniac for the rest of my life and eventually die.There seemed no positive in what i was doing.I told my parents i wanted to complete my Master's degree abroad and get a job with better work culture. My mom is supportive. My dad however he may sound supportive, doesn't really make sense, i said i wish to quit and do some courses, he said stay in the job, hunt for a new one, do something there, since u are a fresher and nobody will employ you. I told him but i wish to get a Master's degree, and i will get a job, don't worry. (My dad has been unemployed for 10 years now and my mom is the only earner in a fmly of 3). I feel really depressed since whatever i discuss eith my father is just pointless as it leads to my criticism and past failures. I wish to to do something great in life, wish to make a contribution where i could make the world a better llace but i am stuck here. I do not know what to do,feel aimless in life and whatever i decide is just throw out the window.My dad isn't backing me up,My mom is just too busy with work to provide us food/cloth/shelter, so i don't disturb her. She is very supportive of me though and trusts me. I never have betrayed her trust too. i feel even worse, with a good-for-nothin job, no support and no one to talk to. Please help ! (PS: i have fought depression earlier and come out of it)
No job is worth ruining your health over. Find a job you love and you will never work a day in your life. These are two sayings that have real meaning. If you are ruining your health over a job you will never perform to peak potential and always be on the edge of being terminated. Find a job you truly enjoy doing and you will never work a day in your life for if you love your job it is not really that much of a labor.
Your dad is right in one respect. Finding another job is easier if you are employed. If you are out of school and have been employed and now unemployed you have to have a reason that is meaningful and verifiable to your future employer.
Get more education is never wrong. My question is why do you need to go abroad to do so. Is it not possible to get your Master's closer to home. It would be less expensive. With a Masters Degree better jobs with better pay and benefits will be open to you.
While my suggestion to you is to follow your desire for a higher degree I think it would be better to do so closer to home. Stay in your present job and start sending resumes to those companies you turned down first starting with those closest to your home.
If you are planning to enter into a masters program within the next semester and leave a employment situation then do not look for new job. Stick it out with this employer and give them 2 weeks notice when you plan on leaving.
I'm a 14 year old female. When something gets me angry, I really get angry and it lasts for days even if the issue is solved. I have enough control over myself to not lash out violently but it just makes me feel so shitty, sitting there with anger rushing through me. I've tried every tip and trick online that's supposed to relieve anger, and nothing works.
The reason why I'm angry right now is because the other day I was speaking to a group of friends, and one of them asked which shows we've seen on Broadway. Note that I live in the most bourgie town ever that I don't belong in because my parents can hardly afford food and rent. So, everybody listed tons of shows except this one girl because she doesn't really like musicals but still has been to a few. I've never gone to Broadway because my parents can't afford rent half the time let alone visits to the City and going to fancy theatres. They all acted like thats the most shocking thing ever and as though it were my decision to not see shows (we live in NY so location isn't an issue), and when I told them it's because I don't have money they all laughed along knowing they're some Middle Class and Upper Middle Class fuckers who live comfortably. I ranted about it in my diary, and that didn't work. I feel like yelling at them about it but that won't do anything except make people mad at me.
How do I relieve my anger?
I have read what Dragonflymagic wrote to you and it is not that I disagree with her, I don't. I do believe part of the problem may be hormonal. It is I also believe that part of the problem is that this has been going on long before puberty.
Part of what makes you angry is something you cannot do anything about. That is what your parents have chosen to as a Living up to the Jones life style of Champagne tastes and not quite having beer pockets. Meaning your family is not exactly poor but they are living above their means.
This problem overflows into your social life as you have described it. Your anger at your friends is not wholly aimed at them for not believing you but once again aimed at your parents for something you cannot control.
I truly cannot tell you why your parents have chosen to live this way when it might be better to move to the suburbs and live within their means. The most common reason fro living this way is for appearance sake for ones job. People who must keep up appearances for their job have fancy houses in fancy addresses, fancy cars and the wife's are eye candy to complete the effect to help dad move up his job.
As parent we sometimes forget how are actions reflect to our children and their social life. You need help in dealing with these issues so as not to let them anger you as they do. Unfortunately you of course cannot talk with your parents. You need to talk to a professional.
My suggestion is this. Either Mom or dad should have medical insurance which would also has something called Employee Assistance Program(EAP). This will pay for the first few visit with a child psychologist more on this in a minute first we have to get you there.
Your anger issues also have you suffering from a form of clinical depression. Once again it will take a professional to get mom and dad on board to get you help. You start by telling mom your just not feeling well and you would like to see the doctor for a physical. No because a physical would include a female exam and you are 14 years of age a law called HIPPA says you have the right to medical confidentiality when it comes to any examination of your reproduction system. You ask the doctor to ask mom to wait in the waiting room.
From this point forward nothing you say to the doctor can be related back to your mother. You tell the doctor your having anger issues just like you told us and it has been recommended you speak with a child psychologist. The doctor will still want to do a complete exam and a screening for depression. Now with your permission the doctor can tell mom you need to see a psychologist for talk therapy for depression.
Once you are with the the therapist anything you say is completely confidential and cannot be repeated back to your parents. The therapist becomes your new best friend you can tell your deepest, darkest secrets to and your parents will never hear them as you complete confidentiality.
My 63 year old dad was recently diagnosed with early on-set Alzheimer’s. My family dynamic is not exactly easy to mobilize to help with the long haul we’re in for. I don’t live in the same state & my sister (who does) hasn’t been much help (outside of directions ive tried to put in place from time-time).
Making matters worse is my dads 20 year girlfriend. They own a house together and are technically in a legal “domestic partnership”). She has never been very supportive in any matter, let alone something like this. She still works and travels almost half the month for business leaving him at home for 2-3 days at a clip. All the while interacting with every man on social media when out of town. If you saw her FB, you wouldn’t even know he she is with anyone. No pictures of them. No check-ins, likes. They’re barely friends.
They have never really been too in love...more like convenient partners after each of their first divorces. We’ve begged him to leave her several times (prior to the his health concerns) to no avail. Even when we see the frustration & depression sinking in through the years. He does not want to be alone (which i fully understand).
My sister has always said they’d take care of him, have him live with them if ever needed but he has always been a stubborn one & would never agree.
Neither my sister or my dad’s gf have helped with the doctors, appointments, paperwork...
My father is getting worse. Is on medication (when he remembers to take it) and conversations are slowly becoming harder and harder with everyone.
I don’t know what to do.
I feel like I’m the only one that can diffuse the situation & lead things on the right path. It’s pretty impossible for me to move back home & every time i start the ball rolling with everyone, it always gets dropped and nothing progresses. It pretty much digresses every time and i have to start all over. My dad has alienated his friends and family over the years. Mostly because of the girlfriend. She always finds a way to piss them off one-by-one until they eventually stopped coming around completely.
He is on disability (gets something each month to live), has an ok (not exceptional) amount of money in savings, retirement plans that he can use (but hasn’t drawn from).
The main problem is the girlfriend. If we forced her out, it would lead a path for destruction. First, my father would be devastated if she ever left. They own a house together. Believes that he is and has always been in love with her. I’ve tried talking to the girlfriend, leveling with her, but she plays doe-eyed deer every time. Promising to help & take the lead, but never does. I’ve asked if nothing else if she could make sure medication is being taken & i still have no confirmation ever. She wouldn’t even take a morning off of work to drive him to a doctors appt & is completely manipulative. To her and pretty much everyone.
By not helping at all, she’s endangering my father every day. I’m trying to stay positive as much as possible, but the appearance is that she’s content with things this way. Uses it to her advantage some times, manipulating him by claiming she said or done things that i know 100% are inaccurate. She’s always been like this. And now it’s frightening to think she could be using it to her advantage every waking minute of the day because he won’t be remember most of it anyhow.
Should i be taking any preliminary legal actions at the moment (he refuses to sign a will by the way) in order to prepare for a fall-out with the girlfriend?
Should i hire a private detective to watch the girlfriend in case there is a domestic partnership battle over anything?
Has anyone had an experience like this with a difficult loved one & a manipulative spouse/partner?
Any advice at all would be sincerely appreciated! Thank you.
I'm sorry to hear that your father has been diagnosed with early on-set Alzheimer’s. It is a horrible disease one which his family must prepare to put him in a proper facility to care for him as unfortunately as spouses and children we are not able to care for Alzheimer’s patients once the disease takes full hold.
Your thought bout seeking legal help is the right one. You need to seek medical and financial power of attorney over him before his girlfriend has him sign papers giving her those rights. Since she is not his wife she, at the moment, has no legal standing for him. The sooner you ask the court to appoint you as his legal guardian in these matter the better it will be for both you and your family.
My suggestion is you quickly seek out a family law attorney familiar with the laws i the state your father lives in as well as where you live. Make sure you sibling(s) understand what your doing and why and that you are not trying to cheat then out of any inheritance that you will share equally. In fact ask the lawyer about if there is some legal way to put that in writing as without a will as his guardian I believe the state would award you his property so ask the attorney.
I know and I understand the thought of putting a loved one especially a parent in a nursing home is abhorrent to just about all of us. In this instance as abhorrent as it may be to you it is in the best interest of you dad to place him in a home that specializes in the care of Alzheimer’s patients. It would not be to early to start looking for one know and asking there advice on how the best way to make the transition.
Good luck and try not to get frustrated. You might consider a seeking out a psychologist for yourself to help you deal with the frustrations ahead of you.