I am a single mother that was orphaned and never adopted as a child. I know all too well what the word PERSEVERENCE means.I believe in giving unconditional kindness and never judging another unjustly. To see the positive side of things yet remain realistic, to value yourself and others, and that laughter truly is the best medicine! I have had my share of negative experinces in life and in relationships and would like to share my own wisdom with others as well as gain the wisdom from others.
Gender: Female
Location: louisville
Occupation: medical insurance
Age: 35
Member Since: July 26, 2011
Answers: 1
Last Update: July 26, 2011
Visitors: 901
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ok so i had a long distance bf for about a year and a half im 21 he's22 and i've had other boyfriends before but nothing like this, i feel like he really is the one for me but he doesnt trust me and thinks ill cheat on him so he wants to end it, he agreed to stay together but still it's the weekend and i havent heard from him in about 24 hours, i feel like im constantly thinking of him and i can't stop thinking of him, idk what to do anymore cause obviously he doesn't worry for me like i do for him im affraid he might find another girl or cheat on me i freak out when he doesnt message me for a complete day and i'm a normal person i am pretty and have people wanting to date me but i dont want them ! i only want him! i have a lot of friends but still going out with them bores me ! i can't stop thinking of him even if i try to keep myself busy all i wanna do is wait for him to text me and talk to me, i don't know what to do i feel everything else isnt interesting, not even hanging with friends! which helps but at the end of the day i have to come back home alone and remember everything! we've been on and off and i really don't wanna end it and he has agree to give it another shot , but im worrying all the time in days like today when he doesnt message me at all, like in my mind theres no possible excuse for it, i know he has to do his stuff i dont expect him to speak to me all the time but in 24 hrs nothing? and i can't get myself distracted like i said being around otherp eople like family and friends helps only during that time! but when im back home im miserable again ive lost weight i dont wanna get out of bed, there are days when we're perfect usually from monday to friday but every weekend is the same he always dissapears on me and ive talked to him about it and he says he wont do it still does! but then during the week he's amazing and lovign and caring and i dont worry and feel the happiest!! but then on the weekend im so miserable when he doesnt even speak to me ! what do i do!! i feel lost! (link)
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First of all rest assured you are experiencing what a lot of young women experience when in love. I am now 35 but I used to get so love sick I literally felt ill-not wanting to eat or do anything-not interested in anyone but my one true love.
I am older now and recently found my last true love that I wanted to marry and grow old with. He had a profile up that focused solely on himself and stated in in he never wants to get married-just hook up with women. THAT was what I saw as my true love for years!! Sometimes our emotions are so strong we fail to see reality. In my heart and mind he was sweet charming wonderful like-no-other soul mate prince. IN REALITY he was just some shallow man looking for a cheap date.
Maybe it is our female hormones that get overworked and blind our perception. Whatever it is I can assure that the boy you are describing is just a boy and not your lifeline. Your happiness and value does not rest inside of him-it rests inside of YOU. Boys are full of testosterone-the younger they are the more they have, this hormone makes them want to get female attention and makes it very hard for them to focus on sincere emotions. MOST men become more sincere as they get older-so give it time. But don't base your happiness on him-do not give anyone that power over you.
As for feeling sad-it is okay to cry and feel heartbroken-it is a human emotion and part of being human. Write out your pain in a private journal, allow yourself to cry and give yourself a chance to heal because you will. Find happiness in life that does not give another power to control that happiness-volunteer somewhere-find a passion like wildlife conservation, animal rescue, nature, photography, ect....as for the things your boyfriend says---trust me all boys say those things. I have 2 teen sons and they said it is very hard to focus on one girl because they are so young and full of testosterone. You can love him but accept that he is not your universe and that the love will one day turn to the love for someone more mature and sincere. Give yourself time because time will calm down your overwhelming emotions and try to focus those strong feelings on a passion that will make the world a better place.The depressive spells could be female hormones=I used to be very down and negative but getting older has helped. Try watching a comedy or a favorite comedian to get yourself laughing and avoid drama and negativity.
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