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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

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I have never wanted children. My entire life I have never felt that urge to mother, but I've recently found myself thinking about it more often. My boyfriend does want children, and its something we have talked pretty seriously about. Just trying to see it from each others point of views.

I don't know if I want kids now because my boyfriend does, or if its something else. I'm 22 and I just recently got promoted at my job, and my boyfriend is 28 and just enrolled in his doctorate programs, on top of having a full time job. It just wouldn't be a smart thing to do right now. Idk what I'm asking, I guess its more of an "is it normal to all the sudden have these feelings?" Kind of question...please help

I can think of a number of reasons why it would be normal for you to suddenly think of wanting to have a child especially if this relationship is headed for marriage.

When we are young we, some of us, put together a life plan. That life plan has certain goals we want to achieve in life. Is it possible that your life plan did not see marriage as a possibility or this early in your career?

It was also possible that while you may have had a good childhood you did not have a great childhood and felt it would be wrong to bring a child into this world based on your own childhood? Now in talking with your boyfriend your seeing the world through a different set of eyes. This would be a good thing as it means you are also open to new thinking.

Having a child does not have to upset your life plan just a slight alteration to it to allow for pregnancy and child birth. As well as the care you need to provide to your child. Today that responsibility is a 50/50 thing. Your boyfriend/father slash hopefully future husband, is just as responsible for child care as is the mother.

One piece of advice I will offer though is that with both of you having a full time job and him working on his doctorate as well. This may not be the time to be thinking about having a child. If marriage is in the future for you two that should come first as that is not and should not be a disruptive force in either of your lives right now. A child on the other hand no matter how good a baby the child may be is a disruption in the early years as they are totally dependent on their parents. Your boyfriend should finish his doctorate before you two plan on having children. At least that is what I advise.

Short answer to your question: I see nothing abnormal in having a change in feelings on this subject.

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