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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
22/m
Hi,
I seem to get really nervous-almost scared about talking in groups. It's weird because if I'm talking to someone one on one it's fine usually. But when the attention of everyone is on me, I turn bright red, my voice cracks, and I start panicking. It's also quite because often it happens when I'm in a professional environment with friends, e.g. a training session with my colleagues.
It usually starts when I have to introduce myself, and talk about myself. I've tried everything you would expect- picture everyone naked, relax, breathe, do it often (introductions etc), remember everyone wants you to succeed and to calm down, pretend noone is around, etc etc.
I've always been shy, but I remember when in high school- I would always volunteer to speak in debates in my school club- I don't know where our c why things turned. I was willing to let it go as a flaw, but it's starting to affect my career now, to the extent of me nearly calling in sick just so I don't have to do it.
Seriously, any help will be welcome - I'm desperate for solutions!
Thanks.
Many of us have that problem. I have the same problem although I do much better in front of strangers then when I was in front of people I know.
I found that practice, practice, practice by rehearsing in front of a mirror helped. By knowing my material to present solidly so that I did not have to follow my notes or refer to a written presentation helped a lot. I would also try to find, when in front of my work group, a really good friend I could make eye contact with, this also helped.
The only other thing I can offer is to take, if it is still offered. The Dale Carnegie Public Speaking Course. It is a wonderful course though a bit expensive. This course does help those of us afflicted with such problems you and I have.
The biggest problem with making a presentation in front of friends and coworkers is the anxiety over looking foolish or failing in front of them. This is where practice, rehearsing and in depth knowledge of your subject matter is of great importance.
When I finally realized this and had to stand up before my co-workers and my boss. I would say to myself. Okay guys bring it on, give me your best shot, your the ones who will crash and burn. You would be surprised as I began to believe myself I got more confidence in myself in front of them and the problems disappeared. Even my manager took note of this and made mention of this to me.
(Rating: 5) Thanks for the advice! The reason I waited so long, was because I had training yesterday with my colleagues. I was so close to calling my manager and telling him that I was unavailable to come in today because I was sick. But I went, and I was asked to introduce myself first (isn't it always the way?!) and just before, my heart was pounding. When I got going though, I was fine. I did it all completely without fail. I was relaxed, cool, composed – thanks to your advice.
Instead of going to a Carnegie course, I settled on buying the book he wrote about public speaking (apparently one of the text books on the course). It’s been a good read so far! I’ve read quite a bit, and will go into it much deeper when I get time, every now and again. I’ve read “How to fin friends and influence people”, and so no doubt that this will be great too!
Thanks again!