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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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Hey guys. 19/f
Okay so the title is self explanatory. Tonight we were all out for one of my girl friends birthdays.
I have recently started college in September and made a bunch of new friends. One such friend is *Kevin who is gay and who I have become very close with.
Anyway we were all messing about and having a good time getting a bit tipsy etc. Then one of the girls and Kevin kissed joking around. We all said we would kiss him then just for fun because we know he is gay. I joined in not thinking anything of it at the time. The thing is I have a boyfriend!.. I know. I feel like an absolute skank. It was our three year anniversary last weekend and everything. I feel so horrible. All of my friends were trying to reassure me that because he is gay and because we are such good friends it doesn't mean anything and it's not a big deal. It would be like if I kissed one of them..etc. But for me it is a big deal. I've never kissed anyone else in the whole time i've been with my boyfriend. I feel like i've let myself down and him down. What do I do? Do I tell him about this? My friends say I shouldn't because Im causing him unnecessary hurt. I don't want to make excuses for myself or anything but I was having such a good time I completely lost my mind. That's NEVER happened to me. No matter how many guys have hit on me I've never entertained it. Am I over thinking this? Am I being too hard on myself? What would you do? Should I tell him or leave it be? I know he'd be very weird about it. Please help.
Whether you tell your boyfriend or not is up to you. As far as kissing Kevin on his birthday? That's no big deal and I do not consider that cheating. Gay or not everyone deserves some affection on their birthday. A birthday kiss is just that. A show of affection for a friend on their birthday. It is not the same type of affection you have for your boy friend it is more like the type of affection one would have for a member of their family. Would you be this upset if you gave your brother a birthday kiss of course not.
The type of kiss you gave Kevin may not have been the type of kiss you would have given your brother. Still it was a kiss you would not have given him had it not been his birthday. Your boyfriend should understand this. If he doesn't explain to him you would not be upset if under the same circumstances, his birthday, another girl kissed him. This is not cheating this is just showing someone your affection for him as a friend on their birthday.
I'm 66 rears old and I have a few female, married friends, that my wife and I are close with them and their husbands. Their are several times a year birthdays, anniversaries and certain holidays when hugging and kissing are appropriate. Neither or none of us feel that we have cheated or are lustful of the others. It is just away of showing are affection for one another in a socially appropriate way at appropriate times of the year.
So stop feeling bad you have done nothing wrong. Have you not seen your parents hug and kiss their close friend? If so, if it is okay for them why is it wrong for you?
(Rating: 5) Thank you so much. You really helped put things in perspective. I just felt like I had cheated because it wasn't a quick peck, it was one of those longer "MWAH" Kisses. If you understand me. Thank you again.