I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Last Update: August 30, 2022
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so i guess i've been a really bad person. i cheated on my ex boyfriend with someone else whom i didnt tell that i was in a relationship with someone. then i met someone who i truely started loving and started a new life with him. we're still together and i've never cheated on him, we're a great couple.
i never loved either of the other guys, i just used them because i didnt want to be all alone and i knew that they wouldnt want to be just friends. i didnt have anyone else because its hard for me to make friends. i was suffering from depression too and used to cut myself a lot which made both of them feel bad. i still used them even though they where there for me all the time. i guess i just wanted to feel loved. i know that all of this is over but the things ive done make me hate myself so much. how do i get over this and how do i forgive myself? am i even allowed to forgive myself? (link)
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Yes you should forgive yourself and are worthy of it. You learned from the experience and never repeated the behavior so you are fine. I think the guilt lies with being remorseful and wanting to reach out to those you hurt and tell them why. That's admirable.
Even if they were hurt I'm sure they don't have animosity after all this time. Forgive yourself because you have learned a life lesson. You are not a horrid or evil person. You made a mistake because you were confused and dealing with mental health issues. You wouldn't have done it otherwise. It was a complete 360 from your true character.
What you should do is get a referral to a psychiatrist. You aren't crazy but could use support for the depression, cutting, negative thoughts about yourself, guilt, inability to make friends and relationships in general so that you make healthy choices and flourish later on.
You have someone who loves you and isn't going anywhere. You have two options. If your past is affecting you currently with him you can tell him what happened, the reasons and that you never will nor have with him but have to chuck guilt or B: Don't involve him but seek counseling for it privately and enjoy life as it is. Either way telling someone is ideal. we're human and make mistakes but provided we learn our lesson we all deserve forgiveness.
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