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Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: August 30, 2022
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15/f
So, there's a guy that I'm friends with that I've known for about 4 years, but we weren't really friends till a couple months ago. He randomly started messaging me on Facebook, then he pulled the "I'm getting off Facebook, what's your number?" stunt, so I have him my number (we're friends). This was a week ago, and now he texts me every single day, from the hour after school gets out till he goes to bed. I don't mind the texting, cuz I enjoy talking to him. I like him, but only as a friend. Anyway, he has been sending VERY flirtatious texts, and has told me multiple times that I'm sexy and very attractive, and that I'm his type. I've just said thank you. Then, he's asked me if he's attractive back, and I didn't want to be mean so I said yes (he IS attractive, I just don't like him that way) He's been flirting with me over text, and I've been unintentionally flirting back, but I haven't explicitly said anything about liking him.
Tonight, when he was going to bed and saying goodnight, he said that he liked me. However, it was in a longer text, so I sort of ignored that part and just filled my response with a bunch of "hahahahas" and ;). The thing is, this guy is pretty cute and he's really nice and smart, and I probably would go out with him, except there's another guy that I'm really good friends with that I have a massive crush on. I don't want to go out with the one that likes me because I like the other guy. Basically, I dont want to give this guy a chance in a relationship because then the guy I like will think I'm not interested.I'm certain this guy will mention that he likes me again, over text. How do I say I don't like him? And how do I respond to his flirty texts without flirting back? Thank you! (link)
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The truth is you do indeed like this guy. You said you would date him if it weren't for someone else you have your sight set on. Don't make the mistake I did recently.
I almost missed out on a great friend or the right girl by ignoring her for a girl I was attracted to that was a real... Sometimes, the other person deserves a second look as they may be right for you.
The one thing you know is that you have a crush on someone but NOT if they like you that way and presumably at all. They could reject you and if you rejected the other guy you would lose him too.
Frankly, I would actually go on a date (it's not a commitment) with the guy you text and see if there is anything there at all chemistry wise first. You can then rule him out as a partner and let him down gently if you have to.
One way you can do it electronically is to say "I think you're a swell guy and some girl would be blessed to have you as a boyfriend but I don't want you to be misled it's just not me. I genuinely want you as a friend though but there's no romantic feelings."
If you want him to stop texting so much don't respond back. Make him wait a while or you could always point out "Listen, I enjoy talking to you but I don't have access to unlimited texting on this phone and my parents get annoyed at me because it's costing too much." That's a stern hint to back off.
But the point is you said you would go out with him if it weren't for someone else you have no idea feels the same way. I honestly think you should look past your desired choice of a mate to this guy as he really likes you despite being a little to pushy with it. A guy like him is genuine and bloody hard to come by. I'd give him a chance and if it doesn't work than go after your crush. You may regret not doing so.
Thing is you're a bit guilty here as you flirted back and never told him "Thanks for the compliments but flirting makes me uncomfortable." It's kinda led him on and encouraged him.
If texts make you uneasy don't answer them right away or at all and he will move on but seeing as you do like him best not to deny yourself a chance at a good guy or at the least friend from this.
Did you ever think that he might have a real hard time socializing in general? Maybe telling any girl how he feels is a HUGE deal and he figures texting and throwing not so subtle hints is the way to make it known. You might be able to do him a favor by showing that it isn't and show him how better to come across with girls. That way if he finds someone else he would connect as desired. He's a good guy. Don't hurt him.
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