adviceman49's advice column

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

Okay before i start. I would just like to say up front that I've never really been introduced to him or anything formally but we have messaged each other before.
So I'm 20F and I just moved to a new town and I've gotten to know some of the people who live here (people my age) i knew of the people here because we have mutual friends and so far everyone seems cool. I'm not close with any because I just got here. But there's this one guy whom I saw who actually visited my hometown for a little musical show him and his friends came to perform him. Ever since that night for some reason I managed to have a little crush on him. Knowing I would be moving to his area soon made me a little hopeful that we would eventually become friends. When I was at the show my friends were there with me. One in particular is 14 yrs old and she's pretty close to me. She doesn't have much friends her age but she lives back in my hometown. Anyway so I told her I thought the guy was cute and maybe I'll get to know him when I move. We added him on fb together and out
Of nowhere he messages her! Liked her pic! And idk he just started taking to her. Not flirting but talking in general and he even offered to give him her #. She doesn't have a phone though. Anyway he doesn't send me anything. Keep in mind he's my age, maybe a few months older.

I know he was in a previous relationship which ended pretty badly according to our mutual friend. But anyway so my friend and I were at this function at a church (btw hes a musician.)where we saw him and though none of us talked to him, he still managed to message her again on fb. I decided to message him. Now keep in mind I'm never bold about anything so this was kinda huge for me. I congratulated him on his performance and we talked a bit and I honestly thought we were off to a good start. I was just thinking that it needed a push and considering how he maybe felt about his past and girls, I would break the ice.

Well eventually he never replied. Time went on and I never saw him again. He's still active on fb. Just the other day my little friend liked some of his pictures and he liked one of hers back that I tagged her in so I got the notification. I was so happy to see that i got a notification from him saying he liked one of my pics. Well it turned out not to even be of me! It kinda hurt. Then he left her a wallpost. I don't see him actively use his fb so i again was a little jealous and she replied accordingly and nicely , Like she would to anyone. He didn't reply but then she posted a status and he commented on it like back and forth.

Do you see why I'm a little jealous. He doesn't even talk to me. And it's not like he doesn't see me enough because both me and my friend have seen him the same amount of times.
I'm starting to get the vibe that I'm way in over my head and I'm over thinking but part of me is worried that he doesn't find me attractive at all. I mean he's 21 and she's 14! And they message each other from time to time.

My mutual friend with him is also close to his brother and I've heard that he's only interested in slutty girls. And that his brother agrees to. My friend isn't slutty but she's at that age where she wants to look cute and grown. I'm not sure if that's what he likes but I don't know. I'm also aware he could be talking to other girls now. And he is aware there are girls out there that like him.

I would really like a 3rd person view on what you think.

My first question is does he know her true age. for if he does the 7 year difference in age brings on a host of problems for him. Yes it may be a FB relationship for now but FB and other social websites are being monitored by the FBI and other law enforcement agencies for just these types of relationships.

They are looking for sexual predators who may be using FB and other social websites to find young people having inappropriate sexual meetings.

While you may be jealous of the relationship; your real concern should be is he a sexual predator trying to earn her trust. The only way to do this is to find out if he knows her true age.

If he does you need to do one or all of the following. A) advise her of how inappropriate this relationship may be. Is she just a fan of his or has the relationship grown beyond that? B) Inform her parents of the relationship and allow them to handle it. I'm almost positive they are not aware of her relationship with him. C)Inform local law enforcement that this relationship may not be what this young lady thinks it is and allow them to do what is they do best, investigate and find out if he is actually a sexual predator.

I would opt for "C" as this is in the best interest of the young lady. She may end up hating me if she finds out was the one to notify the police. But if it is found he has other relationships such as this one, then he would be looked at as a sexual predator and I may have saved her life. To me this is a trade off I can live with and hope it is long, long hate she has for me.

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(Rating: 3) I think you misunderstood my problem here. He knows how old she is and she doesn't want a relationship with him. I'm just concerned that he talks to her more and when it comes to me I don't exist. He's the one making all the first moves with her but I had to on my end. I don't want him to think she's easy while I'm someone to watch out for.

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