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Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: August 30, 2022
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Hi everyone!
I'm with this man now, we were on and off for about a year, but for the past month and a half we decided we cared for each other too much and really got serious. And I can honestly say I love him, which I've never felt before, he's my second serious bf but the first who ever took me out and introduced me to his friends. To me he's perfect! (though 5 years older than me, which occasionally causes trouble but we usually forget about it)
Anyway, my problem arises more so with my father, my parents never were very faithful to one another but I believe they loved each other, about 2 years ago my father cheated once again and my mother had had enough of his betrayals so wanted a divorce... This was a messy, angry divorce. My dad cut all contact from me, I had no birthday/Christmas cards and he had been telling everyone I should be making the effort to call him, as if he was the victim. This was as I was doing my A-levels and preparing for uni, so I had alot on my plate.
So basically, ever since I'd caught him cheating and seen how hurt my mother was from a younger age, it seems to have stuck with me. I can't trust men very easily, not with that at least, I'll do anything for my man, but when he is asleep, and his phone is there I have to fight every fibre of my being to not look at it, since he forbid me too really... He gave me his fb password and his phone password based on the trust that I'd not use them to snoop and I have done very well considering my history, but what I want is a way to get over the paranoia!
I haven't told him, because I know I'm being stupid and I know he loves me. He's a man that enjoys many friends and his freedom and I don't want to restrict that, but as I'm a uni student we have to spent holidays apart, and I read into the smallest thing all the time :(
Is there a way to just get over this one trust issue? without involving him too deeply preferably :) thanks (link)
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You have to convince yourself that this guy isn't your father and hasn't done anything to make you suspect he will act that way. I think what you need to do is turn to a professional (not a therapist) and get some help to work through what happened with your father, your current relationship and how not to let that affect or influence you with this guy now. Thank goodness he's so understanding. Marry him! Someone like that is a real catch as most guys wouldn't give you that access.
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Rating: 5
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Thanks for the advice, I did really look upto my dad as a child and I have explained where my issue is, I think he understands :) x
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