Member Since: September 12, 2011
Answers: 190
Last Update: April 26, 2016
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I fight with her everyday and I just hate the way she acts. Sometimes I get on great with her other time I just hate her and never want to speak to her again like now. She always thinks she is right in everything even when I try to say something even if it about my life she has to have her input to it. And she thinks it should go that way. She also hardly says anything nice to me and talks bad bout my friends. Also when she asks wat I think of something and it's not the same as her she goes of the head and says well it's a good thing it not u getting it. She is older than me and thinks she can tell me what to do n try to act all big. When we fight she says all these mean things to me and when I can't take it no more I try not to but I say mean things to and she starts to cry and I get in trouble for it then even thought she started it. I think I should just stop talking to her. What do u think I should do. Btw I'm 17 and she is 23. (link)
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It's very tempting to say 'You and every other sister/brother in this world!' It sounds glib but its true, most children fight with their siblings at some point in their lives. My mother and her two sisters, now aged between 78 and 85, STILL argue regularly about silly things of no importance. Sometimes it gets quite nasty, but thank goodness they've always been friends afterwards.
Just because your sister is a relative, doesn't mean you have to be best of friends all the time.
But sometimes it can be changed so that you are friends some of the time.
Imaginr the freedom of life without her! All the attention would be on you. I don't know if you have any other siblings but that was how your sister felt until she was 6 when you were born. You were her little doll that she coulod play with and organise the life of from dawn to dusk, as she wished. Now you're almost grown up, her influence is reduced and that's hard to accept, ask any oarent.
If there's a situation that you've tried to change without success, the only thing left that you can change is the way you look at it.
So, your sister could become your friend. Rather than wait for her to give her opinion on something, ask her first and consider if she might be right. Equally, she could be wrong. If you go about this carefully, as you would with a friend you're not sure of, she might let her guard down a bit and friendship might develop.
Possibly you'll always have fights between you but as you grow older, you appreciate each other more - there's someone around who's been through almost the same background as you have, who knows you as well as you know yourself. That person could be a source of much needed help and support in difficult circumstances. Just because you're both stuck in this habitual argue/fight/argue again cycle, don't let it blind you to the person underneath.
You're so alike - that's why you argue. You're so different - that's because you're sisters. You're not children anynmore - that's how you can now be friends.
Hope this helps, let me know how you both get on?
Good luck X.
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