I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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I have a friend who goes through depression..frequently. Her boyfriend is an ass, and that's basically the root of it. Anyway, when she gets depressed, she completely ignores me. She isn't mad at me or anything, this just how she reacts. This will sometimes last for a month or two. I really miss her, & I want to help her, but I have no idea how. I've never really suffered through any kinds of continuous depression/sadness so I don't know what to do.
I know the 'obvious' answer is to just be there for her. But, besides that.. I know she has her phone, because she plays games & I can see like that she goes on it sort of thing. & that she just isn't taking my texts. What do I say to her?
I can't go over to her house either, she recently moved, & it's too far to make a casual trip. Plus, I'm a college student & dirt poor.
She's a senior in high school by the way. (link)
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The best thing you can do is listen a lot more than other people do and say nothing. Don't offer advice unless you see her ask for it or know that you must say something.
The truth is you don't know what's going on in her head or how awful she does or doesn't feel and you haven't experienced this as an all encompassing 24/7 365 thing bombarding her and affecting how she functions. You mean well but there are levels to this you don't see that are internal with her.
Her problem isn't just a boy but it didn't help matters. It's a medical issue and has to be treated by a psychiatrist in order to break the vicious cycle she's in with it. Nothing can make her see one but herself unless she's in crisis and trying to harm herself. It hasn't gotten to that level but left untreated it can.
She's likely embarassed about the boy and these other issues and or is too upset to want to be around friends right now. It's normal and nothing to do with you. Best thing to do is back off and wait for her. If she knows you are a good friend she'll reach out when she's ready.
The only thing you should do is text her. "Missing you. Let's reconnect sometime. Hope you are doing well." and leave it to her to respond. If she ever mentions depression or hints at it tell her "You should tell someone you'll feel better longterm" and leave it at that. You did all you could. Ball is in her court.
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Rating: 5
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Thanks, I mean she does cut herself, or used to anyway. I for sure don't want to annoy her and constantly bother her, she has always had a lot of issues & her parents don't believe her when they say she is depressed, I've tried kind of mentioning once at her house, and her brother told me they think it's just a phase. But thanks, I'm just going to text her very few days and just tell her to give me a call when she feels like it etc.
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